No One's Listening Show

The gang is back and we're just kind of playing it by ear, trying to remember all we did the past few months. There's an election coming up, and some cars get stolen.

This is from July 1st, 2020. It's too late now to remember what it could be about, so you'll have to listen for yourself.

There was a protest on the Key and it had people talking, even yelling. Also, our property values are down and it's because New Yorkers don't like it here. Finally, don't forget the 4th of July is coming up.

Kids ride around in flood waters while bigger kids splash them. The beaches will reopen, and the flood of the unwashed masses will descend onto the island. Something about golf carts, bike lanes, and such.

Houses are cheap, but we can't buy 'em. Things are gonna open up soon and we're picking our colors. There's a survey out there if you want to give your opinion on coronavirus measures (LINK). All that and a little more.

Some stuff happens on the Key and we talk about it ;)

We got the two Tonys on the show, and one has the 'rona. He's doing alright, though, except for the cabin fever that we all have. We talk about life during quarantine and a few more things.

There's a test to tell you if you've had it, not if you have it. There's also some stanky shoes, pressing buttons with shoes, a croc, and a hold up. It's not a real hold up, though. All that, and we forget about Ana a few times.

The fever is going around but it's not stopping us as we attempt our first show via videoconference. As expected, it's a lot of 'rona talk, but hey, it's something. Some old regulars even show up now that they can do the show in their underwear. At the end, the mayor even makes an appearance to give us his personal take having to deal with all this.

We start it off with a rib-off recap, then we get into the KB Crips, chat chats, the first case of coronavirus on the Key, how to get free groceries on the Key, and a bit more.

There's a new crew in town, and they're throwing cheese into fountains and then washing themselves afterward. Wait, that's not right. Also, some new restaurants, some cryptic talk in the Village, hitting the beach, and some other stuff we can't remember.

There's some dude out there who loves Hitler, but he's in jail now. A girl says she was assaulted, but it wasn't true. The key started shaking with the earthquakes last week and we get a sultry story to go with it. There's some stories about getting hit on the way to school, another Rolex guy gets jacked, and a bit of talk about the party this weekend.

Should we pay the council? Everyone here thinks we should. A tourist thinks our beaches are dirty, so should we pay someone to clean them up? We've bought a house, and something about titty cleats.

Billy K comes back to the Key to grace us with his offbeat observations, witty quips, and weird love for the Winn Dixie. We have a bit of Thanksgiving talk, Christmas talk, chat chats talk, beach talk, and more.

Halloween is around the corner, but the Haunted Hike already happened so we get a little recap. Talk of a Key Biscayne flag comes back up; maybe we can get the movement going. New park space is incoming on Harbor Drive, we'll see what happens. They want to make a new library, but there's some stiff opposition from the Key Colony HOA. Round it up with Winn Dixie and its new bar by the entrance.

Nick and Emily (happy birthday!) join us this week for a little discussion on what's up in Key Biscayne. First off, it turns out the cops don't really care if you share news of a speedtrap, as long as you slow down. The people at St. Agnes are looking to buy a one way ticket to heaven with an $18m remodel. We also mention the new sidewalks coming to a street near you, and the thrilling conclusion of the applicant/member love triangle. Take a listen.

Is it bad to alert your neighbors about speedtraps? Is it bad that the Beach Club is raising the rates to hold an event? Is it bad that there's a king tide? Is it bad to get blacklisted at the YC over a love triangle? Is it bad that 202 Sunrise is for sale again? Is it bad to make a summary consisting entirely of 'is it bad' questions when we don't ever ask if anything is bad? Find out in this episode.

One council member wants the cops to go rogue, engage in high-speed chases, and profile would-be car thieves. But it's not car thieves you need to worry about, it's palmetto berry snatchers. The berries, which may give you a boner, or cure your enlarged prostate, are all over the southern tip of the island. Also at the southern tip is the upcoming Haunted Hike for Halloween, which you should definitely check out and participate in, even if your prostate is a normal size. Some other Key Biscayne stuff is discussed on this episode of the show, so give it a listen.

Got a rowdy post-hurricane that never came crew in the building as we discuss iguana shootings, car thefts, the storm, a fishing ban on Mashta bridge, and who is the most green of the greens. Tune in.

Will you be visiting the new Oasis coffee window? We'll give it a shot, and look over once-again-for-sale entrance block. Not sure what we would do if we bought it, though. There's also a new sunset bar opening on the island, but apparently we already talked about it. That and a bit more, on this episode.

We're taking calls today, but all we get are wrong numbers. Did you hear about the crocs being born on Virginia Key? They're gonna tag 'em so they can identify the one that bites you. No one wants to live on the Key anymore, and we're ecstatic. Also, we managed to get rid of Big Brother, so we pat ourselves on the back. Take a listen.

Some whales washed up on the beach: the heartfelt story told here. We talk about that, the 4th of July, a flood pump station coming to the Key, a bunch of ethics complaints filed against council members, people mad because the Islander wrote 'coño' in a headline, a bit of chat chats, and a little more. Hey, wouldn't it be nice if the GD was mixed use and had a coffee shop?

Did you hear about that crocodile on the beach? Of course you did. Tom joins us as we talk a bit about that, the attack on the Village's computers, the crusade against the KBCF, and a lot of 4th of July banter. See you at the parade.

Is this the last episode with Billy in it? We hope not. And why are there so many vacant retail spaces on the island? Also, men's support groups are not funny. Summer camps, stink bombs, and toilet paper rounds it out.

A two live crew this week as Manny and Rafa are the only ones around to do the show. Have you ever gone fishing off the Mashta bridge? There's a group of neighbors who want to stop that. Sand is scarce but money is even scarcer, all because we're a bit too private. The Village is once again exploring buying up more land for parks, there's some talk of kids being rich-kid dickheads over at MAST, and property values ain't what they used to be. Tune in for the first episode in a month.

Special guest and KB tennis legend Pablo Arraya joins us this week. Can you define the vibe in New Orleans? We try during weekend talk. Ultra leaves Virginia Key, but we don't have much to say about that. Instead we derail into the tennis tournament. Have you ever flipped a golf cart, or maybe driven it into a lake? If you do, don't hold your phone while doing it. A little chat chats rounds it off.

The Beach Club and what's happening there are a big part of today's show; that's not all, though. Did you know that all those re-usable metal cups come wrapped in a ton of plastic? Make sure your next party encourages guests to BYOC. There's also a serial public defecator on the prowl, so watch your step. You also might not want to leave your valuables next to a Jacuzzi, as they're known criminal hot-spots. Alright, that's enough text, take a listen and find out what's really going on in Key Biscayne.

You ever wanna swing on the KB trapeze? Well too bad, it's probably just a myth. What's real, though, is the fun we had this weekend at the Aquaparty and Silver Sands. We also comment on the plastic bag ban petition and Beach Club stuff (Cornhole tournament this Friday). We get to the end by reading some great poems sent by a mysterious fan.

We were privileged this week with having the panel hosted at long-time listener Chuckie's place, even though he didn't want to talk (maybe next time). Two of us went to Ultra, and the other two got stuck in the traffic, but overall we felt it was fine. We heard about a hobo who likes to party, and steal. We also have a few police reports to share. That, and bit about the continuing saga at the Beach Club. Give it a listen.

With the ever-looming Ultra finally here, we discuss a bit about the options you have to make your weekend a little better. In a flashback to yesteryear, we have a firsthand report of the Miami Open, and how it stacks up (spoiler: it's not the same). There's a bit on the shake-up at the Beach Club, and a new segment on hot dudes and the backs of their heads. Tune in.

We're welcomed this week on the world tour by former mayor Mayra, who just got off spring break. We talk a bit about some new restaurant options at the Towers, Ultra updates, non-English speakers getting into NIPA, and snazzy new bullet proof vests. There's more than that but I don't feel like writing right now. Enjoy the show.

The world tour continues, but we almost miss it because of the time change. We steadily drop listeners this week as we keep singing the song picks. The chat chats go off over the weekend with two festivals in a row, but those are a fraction of the size of Ultra. We also learn that Uber may not service Ultra, upping the anxiety on the panel. Will it be that bad? Probably. A tiny calendar rounds it off. RIP Fish.

Fret not for your watch, as we learn that the tumbos mugger has been caught. Not only that, but the muggee and Manny are now besties. If you thought that Ultra traffic was going to be a mess, we can more or less confirm it. The powerlines are going to be expensive, no matter which way it goes, but at least your kids won't have to live under them. Oh, did you hear we're going to La Scala? That, a bit about a croc, the beach club, and some singing on this episode of NOLS.

A big weekend at Grassroots is followed by some bombs thrown in the chat chats; try and avoid the fallout. On that subject, the mayor has proposed taking the chats in-person, but who will attend? Not us, but we think you should go. If you do go, don't count on taking a lime bike. A nice hack for free snacks at the beach and a whole bunch of NIPA rounds it all up.

Traffic sucks? Yeah, we know...Lots more happens this episode so listen in as we talk about Theocracies, what constitutes a workshop, and continue discussing mugging conspiricies for whatever reason. Oh yeah, because we keep getting intel. Anyway, enjoy the weeks of freedom leading up to Ultra and catch you next week.

As the world turns the tour continues. This time we take up our instruments in Pablo's (of 'NOLS outro' fame) studio. After a false start, we learn that the Ultra traffic plan is lacking, we wonder if Henderson is a good park name, and then we get into it about who should pay for what on the island. Councilman Ignacio joins to give insight on how we'll be keeping the lights on, and we almost get into climate skeptics but we have to wrap it up.

Another week, another tour stop. This time we're again at Len's. Love is in the air, with some engagement stories and a Valentine's day pre-party. Things get hot on Harbor as a house catches fire, some get their panties in a fuss over medical marijuana, and a few kids break into a house (but it was just a prank, bro). An update on the rolex bandits, sharks, and the krusty kup rounds it off on this episode of the show.

We're back at Ana's place this week and it's a full house. Billy returns, thankfully, as he's the only one with any content. We go back and forth on how bad we are for the environment, and then we hear that a local group is trying to host a forum for climate change deniers. All that and a bit more on this episode of NOLS.

We're on the second stop of the Key Biscayne World Tour, at Ana's place this time. Billy joins to add a little color, and we recap the Bill Baggs party that happened this past weekend. Rafa gets all Neil Rogers against the condo council, someone gets mugged by masked marauders on the island, alerting people to speed traps, and mariachis doing some Smiths song. We go hot on latinx at the end, but don't worry if you don't know what that means. All that and a bit more on this episode of the NOLS.

In our cushy temporary studio we've got little to talk about but that doesn't stop us. The eyesore at Oasis won't be resolved anytime soon though there's a bit of hope. We also realize that we may be just as bad as all the chat chats we rail against. Pizza by the slice, a fresh new restaurant, and a bit of tumbo-talk rounds out this episode of the show.

We start the year off strong with chats of burundanga, bedazzled vagines, pasties, and Xmas miracles. Yes, there are some interruptions along the way, but if you can keep up, we promise it's worth it. Tune in to find out what's new in this prime (?) year. Cheers to 2019, a new start, and the same old same old.

If you're into rumors and hearsay, this is the episode for you. We talk about unverified accounts of kids getting busted and relate some of our own stories. Danny joins us from Key Biscayne Living and shares some ideas for how to take news on this island into the digital age. A little story about our time at Tumbo's last week wraps it all up.

If you're into good nicknames, you should listen to this episode of NOLS and then meeet us at Tumbo's on Wednesday for a "chat chat". There's a new segment called "mindful neighbor" because, well, you know, we're over talking about bad parking. Also, Manny's wearing real clothes and makes an apology on air. Tune in for some good stories and a laugh.

The holidays are here if you look at the lights, but we're not all feeling it just yet. The most powerful man on the island is on the show this week, but he's very humble about it. A little bit about Ultra, a lost paddle boarder, and a few rants get us by on this episode.

Dim lights, thick smoke, and a rambling host gone rogue this week. The panel is missing in action and so are the topics, but that doesn't stop our interlocutor from giving it a shot. Give it a listen, but this one may be strictly for the true fans.

While everyone is crying about Ultra coming to town, we are joined by two people who are doing something about it: Dave and Dara from VolunteerCleanUp.org. They've gone to enough festivals that they know exactly how to clean them up. We also talk about iguana gender-bending and traffic scarecrows. Oh, and did you know that Phish is better than the Dead? All that and a little more on this episode.

We have a guest who sounds like more of a regular than a guest, spitting out useful info and advice left and right (thanks for that, Tom). We also talk about, guess what? NOULTRA. There's some fake news and a call for a recount, then a new count for our potential OUTRO. Let us know what you think.

Halloween’s finally over. It actually happened some time between last week’s show and this one—meaning, we talk about it again. After all that noise, Manny stays in on Oct. 31 and the others go out. Music makes a comeback this week on the show, which is refreshing, until you realize it’s about the untz untz headed our way. Predictions are in for the elections and we urge you to vote...or not. The No One’s Listening Show, episode 130, untz.

Tonight we're more subdued than usual, but that might be a good thing considering last week's episode (ref: sex clowns). We talk way too much Halloween and chime in on some school info that's still blurry. A shout out to some friends goes out and we realize we didn't even drink tonight--depending on what's in Manny's cup. Anyway, give it a listen to find out what no one's talking about.

Listen in as we talk about punishing kids, sex dungeons, clowns, dancing, and more. Crowd favorite Budget Price is Right is back and you'll never guess how much a cop uniform costs. That and a lot more.

Rafa gets an indecent school proposal, Manny almost dies, and the red tide is gone. Leni joins and we also react to the mayoral debates, and we ask what you might do if you find money in the street.