Oh, The Humanity!

An architect visits a country estate and feels like he's been there before, the other guests share incidents about odd happenings in their own lives. Also discussed: do dolls have sex? What's the most dramatic sport to use to decide who gets a girl and why is it somehow golf? Horror anthology movies should come back into style.Trigger Warnings: unreality, violenceNext Week: Hausu (1977)

USA! USA! Okay that's enough patriotism for this summery. You know it, you love it, Will Smith saves humanity with Jeff Goldblum with jingoism and American Superiority against slimy aliens who blew up the White House. Also, 90s individualism as family politics, tentacles, and absolute exhilarating joy!

A magical STD stalks a young woman trying to become an adult and cope with a violation of intimacy. Discussion points include: water symbolism, soundtrack parallels, and a clamshell shaped e-reader.Trigger Warnings: sexual violence, incest, rape, violence, implied incest, drowning, hospitals, stalking behaviorNext week: Independence Day (1996) is getting dropped in the feed! Happy Fourth of July and remember that we all live on stolen land

Coping with the violent death of her husband, a single mother is haunted by a children's monster. Also talked about is the stages of grief, gay rights, and hands to suffocate.Trigger Warnings: child abuse, child endangerment, depression, grief, attempted murder, gore, animal death

Some people are allegedly hunted by a feral hog while deep in a Florida nature preserve, and there might have been a ghost. Featuring a guest star and Florida Resident. Also discussed is absolutely anything we could find to avoid talking about this movie, bombs on the border of Canada, and the different ways Florida wilderness can hurt you.Trigger Warnings: fat phobia, gunsNext week: Ba Ba Dook (2014)

The third installment of the Hammer Frankenstein series, it has a very basic caveman plot with some hypnosis thrown in for color.  Discussed are Monster rights, gay subtext, and hypnosis discourse. Trigger Warnings: attempted sexual assault, arson, violence, hypnosisNext Week: Hogzilla (2007) 

Two boyfriends and their girlfriend go to the fair to see a sleepwalker turned into a sideshow by our titular doctor, before dragging everyone into a nightmare. Discussion topics: contrasting points of therapy in the Weimar Republic, hypnosis crimes, and unnecessary poetry perpetrated by the host. Trigger Warnings: Psychiatric Abuse, Violence, Unreality Next Week: The Evil of Frankestien (1964)

Hello we are back from our hiatus because of some life related things,  with a B Monster movie about a large mollusk who threatens a small navy base and presumably a truck stop. Also discussed, Eisenhower and his friend Walt Disney and HIS friend and yours: the Atom, a circumcised penis, and the never-ending injustices of the imdb pages. Trigger Warnings: hydrophobia, guns, child endangermentNext Week: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

An alien mini kaiju crash lands in Hawaii and learns the true meaning of family from a pair of sisters learning to be a new kind of family themselves. Also discussed: Bantu is thicc, Hawaiian perspectives, the concept of ohana and misrepresented cultural concepts, and how an alien is shaped like a rascal Trigger warning: drowning, wide ocean, mild violence, Next week sorry that this is late: The Monster that Challenged the World (1957)

Its uhhhhhh, a sequel, and in twenty sixteen this movie is espousing that the War on Terror is Good actually. A mystery cube is exploded on the moon and it turns out it was a warning, the aliens from the first one are coming back, and this time they're twice as big and twice as bad! Also discussed: Battleship the Movie (you know, with Rihanna), race and terrorism, and the awards this movie won for being bad.Trigger Warnings: Guns, Racism, Violence, Jumpscares, Flashing Lights, UnrealityIn Two Weeks: Lilo and Stitch (2002)

A couple of teenagers and their horny friends are the only thing standing between the eye creature and the rest of the world, while being held up by the Man, and a government coverup. Discussed is the building of youth culture of rebellion, the instigation of the two famous wars America did in Asia, and when is appropriate to wear a sweater-dress.trigger warning: car accidents, guns, gaslighting, police overreach, flashing lights for a brief moment In two weeks: Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

Two backpacking American college students are walking across the moors when they are attacked by a werewolf, one of them dies and the other is haunted by both his friend and the monster he himself is becoming. It’s a good one folks. Discussion topics: the holocaust as it was being understood in 1980s, what coming of age means when it means you have to die, and hypothesizing on the etiquette of sitting in an adult film theater with a werewolf in thereTrigger warnings: blood, gore, violence, suicide, suicidal ideation, guns, nudity, anti-Semitism, no really suicide is a big one hereNext Time: The Eye Creatures (1967)

They’re heeeerrrrre...... to talk about a nuclear family and the invasion of ghosts and retribution of the dead on a suburb development in one of the most famous haunted house movies there is, Poltergeist directed by Tobe Hooper (and also Steven Spielberg). Also discussed is Zoe’s views on the afterlife, white flight, Deni discussing economics as best he can, and also the curse on the set!Trigger Warning: child endangerment, blood, gore, violence, skeletons, flashing lightsIn two weeks: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

This one is partly a family friendly adventure and partly a travel brochure for the sights of china, plus it was banned in several countries over territorial disputes! A young yeti meets a grieving girl, and she tries to get him back home to mount Everest, with the help of her cousin and a little boy who lives in their building, as she tries to reconnect with the memory of her father. Also discussed is the nine dash line, the finer points of attractive yetis and their folklore, the lack of good merch for this Very Marketable Movie, and also co host Deni would like to apologize for his mike, he got a new one after this episode.TW: family death and grief, animal abuse, violence, heightsTwo Weeks: Poltergeist (1982)

This thanksgiving, let’s talk about refugees. Specifically refugees in Britain escaping a conflict in South Sudan, only to be confined to a house with a witch living in the walls. Maybe they brought it with them? Anyway it’s Netflix Movie His House directed by Remi Weeks, his first feature film. Also discussed is, a brief history of conflict in Sudan, British refugee boards, assimilation under duress, and peanut butterTrigger Warnings: child endangerment, guns, gun violence, unreality, body horror, gore, blood, knives, child death, gaslighting In two weeks, regularly scheduled programming: Abominable (2019)

During a going away party for some guy, a huge white monster crawls out of New York Harbour, and the footage from the party becomes documentation of the disaster in its wake. Discussed is 9/11, the 2011 japanese earthquake, the intimacy of phone calls, and My Dad. Trigger Warnings: Blood, Explicit Body Trauma, Explosions, Jump Scare, Guns, Epilepsy Warning for bright light and shaky camera In Two Weeks, adjusted: His House (2020)

After a guy is murdered, a private detective implies vampires are behind this, based on Nothing, in order to entrap a murder confession, that is then absolutely useless because its ENTRAPMENT. Also discussed is lesbian activity, Lucy Westenra plot, slavic vampire lore, and hypnotism history. In two weeks: Cloverfield (2008)Trigger Warnings: Blood

Mysterious lights are seen all over the world and five tones ring out into humanity as we grapple with the concept of first contact with alien life, and Richard Dreyfuss is there. Also discussed is soundtrack evolutions, alien cults of the seventies and eighties, the pitfalls of artistic visions, and CAN you trust the government?? Trigger Warnings: guns, child endangermentIn two weeks: The Mark of the Vampire (1935)

It’s a monster mash of early monster cinema this time! From Georges Méliès’ history as a political cartoonist and illusionist, to Willis O’Brien’s and Herbert M Dawley’s complex relationship over articulated dinosaur model patents, the formation of the movie and horror industry is Wild. Also discussed is Completely justified hatred of Thomas Edison, meat cotton candy, dinosaur hunters, trick films in context, and the inherent homoeroticism of exploration in the very early 20th centuryLe Manoir Du Diable (1896) tw: ghosts, comedic violence, unrealityLe Voyage dans la Lune (1902) tw: guns, comedic violence, bloodLe Monstre (1903) tw: unreality, corpsesFrankenstein (1910) tw: Implied GoreThe Ghost of Slumber Mountain (1918) tw: blood, violence, gunsNext week: Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)

Is it a zombie movie? Is it a mummy movie? Its kind of both, in this film from 1981, where models struggle to survive the rising hordes of the armies of the mummy and also...Gary. Also discussed is benefits of being work friends when you do crimes at work, the crimes of Silvio Berlusconi, the first blockbuster museum exhibit, and the inspiration for my 20k enemies to lovers National Gallery of Art/Metropolitan Museum of Art fanfiction.Trigger Warnings: Gore, Violence, Explosions, Partial Nudity, Grave DesecrationNext Week: Short Films of Early Cinema (A Compilation Episode)

A man returns to his hometown as an outsider in order to reconnect with his estranged father and the others who live there, but is bitten by a wolf while taking a local girl on a date to see a Romani fortune teller. He is transformed into a creature of the night and takes his place in a cycle of werewolves and violence and tragedy. Discussed is Wales and Celticism in folklore, contagious horror, alpha wolves and males in bad science, and Phallic Symbols.Trigger Warnings: Obsessive behaviour, stalker behaviour, violenceIn Two Weeks: Dawn of the Mummy (1981)

An attempt at a coming of age story in Oklahoma in the 1930s, a young girl realizes that she has magical powers and a tail, while being put in a horrific position by people she should have been able to trust. Other topics are, the importance of sound mixing properly, the commodification of women's bodies, mermaid aesthetics, and Jessica Leigh Clark-Bojin's many sins. She's my evil shadow self.Trigger Warnings: Sex Trafficking, Forced Prostitution, Child Abuse, Attempted Child Rape, Rape, Murder, Violence, Gore, Unreality, Body Horror, Guns, Suicide, AbuseNext Week: The Wolf Man (1941)Thank you to ig@anyanalog for editing this week!

A cheesy flying beast is terrorizing New York, snatching people off rooftops, while some kind of mysterious string of murders are being investigated by a pair of rogue cops, meanwhile a small time crook tries to extort the city. Also discussed: police brutality, cult violence in the early eighties, what good jazz is, and science fiction/fantasy artist Boris Vallejo. Next Week: Charlotte's Song or Mermaid's Song (2015)Trigger Warnings: Gore, Violence, N word, Nudity, Cult Violence, Guns, Police Violence

A true horror classic this week, hes every teenagers nightmare, its MISTER FREDDY KRUGER! You might know him from getting mob justiced by a bunch of suburbanite parents and then coming back in dreams to make really weird murderous jokes, while dressed in an iconic hat, sweater and knife glove. Other fears discussed, Satanism, Sudden Unexplained Nocturnal Death Syndrome, Crop tops for people who dont deserve them, and how maybe the fingers should have been knives for real. TW: Child Peril, Child molestation (implied) and Assault, Blood, Unreality, Knives, Body Horror, AlcoholismNext Week: Q: The Winged Serpent (1982)

Oil companies dont care about you and never will this week, with also a russian nesting doll set of monsters and the overwhelming pressure of six miles of seawater. Also mentioned is the video game SOMA, vore, the movie Alien, and also whether or not formulas work for disaster movies. Next week is Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Trigger Warnings for: Thalassophobia, guns, jump scares, blood, gore, explosions

A moaning man behind a locked door in a monastery, and a trio of friends are regaled with what happens when you do crimes? There was a mummy? This movie was in spanish and neither of the hosts speak spanish, which makes summaries difficult. We talked about corpse desiccation, monks are illegal in mexico, the trope of the lecherous monk, and repeated insistence that this MEANS something

Its a coming of age invasion movie with aliens this week, as a piece of an alien spaceship falls on a small chicken and sparks terror in a small midwestern town. We ended up with gay coding in coming of age narratives, naming conventions, how the capitalist rat became a monopoly, and how we all yearn for fatherly acceptance, also the name Kirby. Tw: Parental Neglect and Abuse, GunsNext Week: El Fantasma Del Convento (1934)

The very first silent movie so far, this week theres dinosaurs in the southern hemisphere and a group of mostly men are gonna antagonize them, its not the second jurassic park, its 1925! In the first adaption of the Arthur Conan Doyle 1912 novel, we have in this episode: environmentalism, Charles R. Knight the first real paleoartist, the crazed explorer aesthetic, and truly the best animal actor so far.Tw: Blackface, Gore, ViolenceNext Week: Chicken Little (2005)

Do you remember when it came out that Hobby Lobby had been smuggling antiquities looted from Iraq since 2009 and had to be brought before congress? This movie had that same tone for us. The og Laurel and Hardy aren't even in this. We ended up talking about: the actual laurel and hardy, the birth of egyptomania, Napoleon, and the storied career of oscar-winning actor F. Murray AbrahamTW: Date Rape DrugsNext Week: The Lost World (1925)

It both is and isnt a sequel in this caveman movie, about a caveman frozen in ice for thousands of years and a brain transplant with some mild bondage. Also discussed is: surprisingly not cryogenics, ethics in scientific discovery, use of fire as a metaphor and an advancement, and how beethoven's moonlight sonata f*cks. tw: medical abuse, gunsNext Week: The All New Adventures of Laurel and Hardy: For Love or Mummy! (1999)

Slime people....slime people..... what on earth do we stay about this movie. A fog covers los angeles as prehistoric creatures supposedly made of slime and only sometimes wearing basketball shorts invaded. We ended up with the lizard people who apparently Actually live beneath los angeles, a goat we care for more than any protagonist, the fear of invasion from the cold war, and also how not to do exposition. Tw: blood, violence, warfare Next Week: Return of the Ape Man (1944)

Atomic fear is the name of the game in this one, as mud that hungers for that sweet sweet radiation crawls across the scottish highlands, leading us to the special (erotic?) relationship between England and America, what damage one could potentially do with a blowtorch, thermonuclear fallout at castle bravo, and the use of minatures. TW: Guns, Child Death, Radiation PoisoningNext Week is The Slime People (1963)

It feels incorrect to call this a cave man movie, but more confusing not to. This week, a research scientist disregards lab safety and continuely ingests dead fish blood in order to revert to a less evolved man, leading us to racism in archeology, Brown vs. Board of Education, white fear, and how to pronounce fish names ad nauseam. tw: police brutality, violenceNext Week: X the Unknown (1956)

One of the great original movie monsters, this week has a crazed undergraduate create a son out of dead body parts, leading us to child protection laws, time period messes, Homoerotic undertones, Jack Peirce, and once upon a time for some reason. Next Week: Monster on the Campus (1958)