Permission to Be Honest

In this episode, we talk about the complex topic of “I'm white and I'm proud”. We discuss the dilemmas people face about being proud of who they are because of history. We recognize that everyone has their own unique struggles and challenges and that comparing them is not productive. Instead, we should focus on the importance of using our shared experiences to connect with one another.Resources:https://permission-to-be-honest.simplecast.com/episodes/victim-mentality

In this episode, we dive into the topic of speaking up. Specifically when somebody says something offensive about a group of people that they don't belong to. Sometimes we unknowingly make offensive comments and if we catch someone doing that, it's good to speak up and talk about it. At the end of the day, this isn't a problem for Black people or other minorities… It's a humanity problem. We speak up for humanity.

In this episode, we get a little spiritual! We discuss our top three spiritual practices – what they are (and how they're not that different from religious practices), how we benefit from them, and how modern-day medicine is slowly catching up on all the health benefits of different spiritual practices. It is important to remember that what works for one person may not work for another. The best thing you can do for yourself is to find the practice that best resonates with you and your body.

In this episode, we talk about the effects that living in a patriarchal society can have on men (instead of just focusing on how it affects women). We discuss how men have both masculine and feminine qualities and energies and how important it is to have a balance between the two.  We also discuss how it's not just men who are responsible for our society being the way it is. In reality, women may not be ready for men to be vulnerable, share their emotions, and feel scared. The deeper you go, the more you realize that it's not the individual who is flawed but rather the system.

In this episode, we discuss the difference between being a victim and being persecuted. Kara opens up about her past trauma and how she's worked her way through it. One of the key takeaways from this episode is that we can never control how someone treats us but what we can control is how we respond to it. We can take charge of our own lives to get out of the victim mentality and into a place of empowerment.Resources:https://permission-to-be-honest.simplecast.com/episodes/youre-responsible-for-your-own-happiness

In this episode, we interview a friend and past neighbor, Carolyn Fischer! We dive straight into Carolyn's life and the LGBTQ+ community. Carolyn shares her story about her relationship with her ex-husband where she made decisions based on social norms and expectations. Now she's happily married to her wife and is finally making decisions based on love – and her whole world has changed for the better because of it.Resources:Carolyn's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolyntje/https://permission-to-be-honest.simplecast.com/episodes/exposure-pt-1https://permission-to-be-honest.simplecast.com/episodes/exposure-pt-2

In this episode, we interview someone Rickey's known since he played high school basketball, Tyrone (Ty) Carreker! We talk about their love for music and especially alternative music which wasn't really accepted in Detroit in the 90s. Ty also shares his story from getting a degree in engineering to dropping out of college to pursue a career in music and following his dreams. One thing Ty brings up is how he created this world he loves to live in and how you can do that too. You can do whatever you want to no matter where you're from and what color your skin is – that is empowering!!Resources:27.9 Fragrance's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/279fragrance/27.9 Fragrance's website: https://279fragrance.com/Tyrone's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/musicisgolden/Tyrone's website: https://www.musicisgolden.com/https://permission-to-be-honest.simplecast.com/episodes/youre-responsible-for-your-own-happinesshttps://permission-to-be-honest.simplecast.com/episodes/expectations-vs-reality

In this episode, we talk about the controversial topic of Black Lives Matter. We dive deeper into where it started and the true meaning behind this movement. We discuss the struggles and challenges we face as Black Americans and how we can act differently in certain situations to take back our power. Our goal is to educate not only ourselves but the people around us in an attempt to handle day-to-day conflicts and confrontations differently.

In this episode, we talk about our marriage, the sacrifice we've made, and the hard times when happiness and joy weren't always there. We discuss what it means to find joy in life and how it's up to us to find it. As humans, we have the power to decide what kind of day we're going to have. We also talk about how it's not up to the people around us to make us happy. Only we are responsible for our happiness!

In this episode, we discuss what it's like being back in America after being gone for 18 years! We talk about everything related to this transition and what it's really like being back home after so many years. We also talk about all of the things we miss about Germany (which is a lot). It's safe to say even though we have different opinions and outlooks on certain aspects of this transition, we can both agree that once you've lived abroad your heart is always going to be in multiple places.

In this episode of Permission to Be Honest, we discuss the question: Can you be a Trump supporter and still be a good person? It is a debate that's not all black or white. This debate also brings up questions like: Can a racist be a good person? Are homophobes bad people? And if you are friends with someone who is a Trump supporter, do you continue the friendship or do you cut the contact? It's important to keep in mind that people's decisions and opinions are often based on fear which then raises the question: Should we be judging people based on their fears? At the end of the day, we're all human and we believe that all humans are inherently good. So let's open the conversation

In this episode, we have our first podcast listener, Pascal, join us to share his story. We learn about Pascal's upbringing in a foster home that he considers family, the story about his LEGO wheelchair, and playing wheelchair basketball in Oldenburg as a teenager. These life events have created the open-mindedness he brings everywhere with him. Like Pascal says: Some days may be dark but it's up to us to turn those around and make them brighter.

In this episode, we talk about how expectations vs reality can cloud our judgement and basically let us make assumptions based on stereotypes. It's something we've discussed a lot on this show and sometimes we even catch ourselves making assumptions based on what we see in the media and our past experiences (and fears). It's up to us to make a conscious decision to not let fear get in the way of our choices. And if we can realize that the “what ifs” rarely ever happen, can we start enjoying ourselves and life more?

In this episode, we talk about the controversial use of the N word. From racism and slavery to kids and rappers just throwing it out there in mainstream media today. We share our memories of the first time we were called the N world to what the N word means at its core. We also talk about the dark history of slavery this word carries and why there is really no need to use it today. 

In this episode, we have another amazing guest join us to talk about the education system in the USA, Kara's lovely sister, Leigh. We discuss the differences between what it was like having kids in the German school system to now bringing them back to the USA. With Leigh's insight, we also see the differences and similarities between urban and suburban school systems in the US.

In this episode, we dive into the topic of racial colorblindness. We talk about why racial colorblindness isn't the answer to racism because it takes away the celebration of the color. Black people love being Black and we should be celebrating everyone's uniqueness instead of saying that we don't see color. Seeing color, trying to understand where people come from, and having empathy goes such a long way. This episode gives you permission to acknowledge people's colors even if it feels out of your comfort zone!

In this episode, we have another special guest on our podcast, Dorn! Dorn is a friend and also Rickey's fitness coach and in this episode, he comes on and shares his story about growing up in the United States as a minority after his parents entered the country as war refugees. We talk about how hard we tried to blend in and fit into society and how he's realized now that he should be doing the complete opposite to honor the Tai Dam culture he comes from

In this episode, we share our story about what it's like living between two worlds. For 18 years we've been living overseas between different cultures and countries. Living abroad is probably the single most important thing that has shaped us into who we are today. In this episode, we share some of the challenges and difficulties that come with living abroad, how it has given us different perspectives and outlooks on life, and how we've had to step outside of our comfort zones so many times during these past 18 years. 

In this episode, we dive into white comfort and what that means for Black people. We talk about Black stereotypes and how they're perceived around white people. We also discuss how we have to disconnect from our past and let our true selves shine without the fear of what people think about us. Everyone should accept everyone for who they are so we can all let our colours shine!

In this episode, we have a very special guest, a good friend and basketball teammate of Rickeys', Phil Pressey. We talk about the challenges men face when it comes to mental health and opening up to one another and why men struggle with it so much. Mental health is such an important part of our lives and it's time that we open up and talk about it more. It is ok to be vulnerable with each other and that's exactly what we dive into in this episode.

In this episode, we discuss dehumanization, what it is and why it exists in our world. As humans, we are not created to be able to harm other people but by dehumanizing people, we are able to. In this episode, we talk about the different forms of dehumanization from race to gender and even to weight. We are all guilty of dehumanizing other people to some extent and it's important to acknowledge when we do this in order to stop it. It's time to get up close and really get to know people and take down these walls and see each other all as equal humans.

In this episode, we have a very special guest join our podcast, Anna Shirey! We dive deep into Anna's most recently published book and dissect different chapters of it while taking in all of her wisdom. We cover topics that are often perceived as taboo like tarot. Thanks to Anna, we can understand it in a much simpler way and break the taboo.Anna's Website:https://thebrynth.com/Anna's Instagram:https://instagram.com/the_brynth

In this episode, we have our son Tre come and share his story of what it's been like growing up and living in Germany while being born as an American. He shares with us the perks of growing up in Germany as well as things he loves about the USA. We discuss the differences between the two cultures and realize how different our parenting is when we're in the US compared to in Germany.

In this episode, we talk about Kara and what it is like to be mixed. Growing up in Kansas, Missouri in the 1980s as Kara did, it wasn't that common to see mixed people. So in this episode, we dive into the life of Kara. We talk about Kara's childhood and what it was like growing up in a white family thinking you're white and being oblivious to the fact that she was actually mixed.

In this episode, we discuss the difficult concepts of systemic racism and redlining. Redlining has been around since the 1930s and has had a huge (negative) impact on the lives of Black Americans for almost a century. Rickey has witnessed firsthand growing up in Detroit how redlining, directly and indirectly, impacts everyone living in what is called the red zones. This shows how ingrained systemic racism is in the US. 

In this episode, we learn and discuss “Critical Race Theory”. This started as a theory but over time it showed through Systemic Racism that Black people didn't have the same opportunities as white people. Even in places like Harvard and other high-class institutions, Systemic Racism took place. We're not experts in Critical Race Theory but we do think that it's an important topic to talk about openly since it has such an impact on Black Americans still to this day.

In this episode, we talk about two verdicts that happened in The United States in 2021. We discuss how the juridical system in America is flawed and how the Black community has no faith in the system. Again, it comes down to exposure. If we can find a way to expose each other without shaming each other we can fight this battle together.

In today's episode, we talk about the stigma that's associated with certain activities within the Black community. We dive into how certain things we do (and don't do) today have been passed down from our ancestors, generation after generation, without anybody questioning it. We also dive into Kara's realisation of her purpose and how Reiki has really helped her in finding joy and energy.

In today's episode, we discuss a hot topic, “cancel culture”. We acknowledge that people have to be held accountable but does that mean they can't learn from their experiences and allow for growth? Cancel culture is tough to understand – because is someone being canceled or is it just a consequence of their own actions? We might not have the answers to cancel culture but we need to talk about it.

In today's episode, we have our first ever guest join us, Rickey's sister, Chantel! We discuss colorism and its history that dates all the way back to slavery, and how it still exists in America to this day. We also discuss how the difference in “your shade of Black” can be either an advantage or disadvantage to you.

In today's episode, we talk about religion and spirituality and how both are often perceived within the Black community. We try to dissect why spirituality has always been a taboo topic within the Black community and discuss how men - and Black men in particular - can start talking more openly about their feelings and their spirituality.

In today's episode, we discuss sports and mental health. We talk about how basketball often runs our household and the sacrifices we've had to make as a family over the years because of the sport. Furthermore, we discuss the pressure and stigma behind mental health in the Black community and as a Black athlete.

We jump into the topic of white privilege and what it means at its core. With Rickey being an athlete he has seen both sides of privilege. We dive into that in this episode where he opens up and shares some of these stories with us. We talk about using our privilege to speak up for those who need a voice, not being afraid of conflicts, and demanding what is right.

In this episode, we dive straight into the deep end and talk about police brutality, racial profiling and the impact the police had on our lives growing up. We dig into Rickey's past to learn about his story with the police. We also discuss what we try to teach our kids while still allowing them to be teenagers. This is an eye-opening experience of what it's like being in a black family.

In this episode, we continue around the subject of exposure. We discuss the difference between racism and ignorance and how sometimes just having a simple conversation can give both sides an opportunity to learn and realize that we have more similarities than differences. We talk about Kara's first trip to Israel and how living in Germany has really opened our eyes to different cultures, religions, and people as a whole.

In today's episode, we talk about exposure and how it forces us to challenge our limiting beliefs around any subject. Kara shares her story about growing up mixed in a very white environment. Kara talks about her exposure to the Black community and being called “the N-word” for the first time. We discuss how exposure is everything and how it allows us to grow and understand different cultures. 

In this episode, we dive a little bit deeper and get to really know Rickey. We discuss Rickey's humble beginnings, unusual taste in music, and making it in the Black community. We talk about how successes have been overshadowed by humbleness and not wanting to brag and stand out. We can all shine and have success in whatever we do. Everyone can be amazing. 

In this episode, we welcome you to our show and break down what you can expect from Permission to Be Honest. We talk about why we decided to start a podcast and what kinds of topics we are going to cover such as race, within-race relations, and other things we discuss at home every day. We want to offer a platform where we are able to talk openly about subjects that are heavy in a way that is loving and non-judgemental.