Scripture Read Badly

Saul begins to resent David, after the young upstart starts one-upping him. People seem more inclined to follow David than the (now-denounced-by-God) king, so the king is super bitter about it. He even tries to kill him a couple times with a spear, but David somehow evades him. David is also becoming besties with Saul’s … Continue reading 94: Saul HATES David (1 Samuel 18)

It’s the story of an underdog…who gets hit in the head with a rock, then decapitated. That’s right- the flannel-graph lied to us! What exactly went down in the valley that fateful day? In all honesty, I reckon VeggieTales wasn’t too far off by saying, “With God’s help, little guys can do big things too.” … Continue reading 93: David Kills Goliath (1 Samuel 17)

God reminds Samuel that Saul isn’t Israel’s rightful king, so he sends him out to meet Jesse and to anoint one of his sons as the next top dog. After passing over all of David’s older brothers, God chooses Dave, so Samuel pours oil on him. Dave also ends up playing the lyre for Saul … Continue reading 92: David, the Shepherd Boy (1 Samuel 16)

King Saul was a good king… for a little while. But what happens when he isn’t patient enough to wait for Samuel to offer sacrifices on his behalf? Is this the only thing he has done that has offended God? What is a dog-whisperer? For answers to all these questions and more, tune in! What … Continue reading 91: Saul Rejected as King (1 Samuel 15)

Jonathan and his armour-bearer make a daring attack from behind enemy lines, while Saul hastily swears vengeance on the enemy. This vow becomes complicated when Jonathan, who was not present to hear it, breaks it. Silly, silly Saul. What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly … Continue reading 90: Saul’s Rash Vow/Jonathan Eats Cursed Honeycomb (1 Samuel 14)

In this instalment, King Saul makes a pretty big blunder when he decides to proceed with offering sacrifices before Samuel arrives. Why is this a big deal? Tune in to find out! What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly Leave us … Continue reading 89: To Obey is Better than Sacrifice (1 Samuel 13)

Saul cuts up some oxen and mails rare steaks all over the country, then leads a very strong force against the Ammonites. They pursue and obliterate the enemy, and Saul looks like he’s actually done something good. His very first act as a king is to mobilise the military and defend his people. Good on … Continue reading 88: Saul’s First Victory (1 Samuel 11-12)

Ryan is sick, but he powered through like a little champ. Saul is introduced, as a tall, dark and handsome type, and he is consequently chosen as Israel’s first king (again, against God and Samuel’s better judgement). Also, God apparently caused some donkeys to disappear so Saul would meet Samuel and be filled with the … Continue reading 87: Saul Chosen as King (1 Samuel 9-10)

Sandwich artistry (and curation), Ebenezer stones, and Samuel is quickly disheartened as Israel wants to follow a man instead of their God. Come on, Israel! Get your act together! Did you know ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas’ has a second- and third- verse? Figgy pudding. What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let … Continue reading 86: Samuel Judges Israel, But Israel Wants a King (1 Samuel 7-8)

Israel carries the ark of the covenant into battle under the false assumption that they will win if it is present…only, they don’t inquire of God beforehand. What results is a military defeat of catastrophic proportions, and the capture of the ark! Bad stuff all around. What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let … Continue reading 85: Israel’s Catastrophic Defeat (1 Samuel 4-6)

Hannah makes Samuel “little robes”, Eli’s sons absolutely suck at being humble, faithful priests, and poor Eli gets stuck with it all. Samuel gets called by God to become a lifelong servant. When the Bible says that Eli’s eyesight had grown dim, did that mean he had cataracts? What do you think? Did we miss … Continue reading 84: Eli’s Awful Sons (1 Samuel 2b-3)

Hannah was barren, like many other mothers of significant biblical figures up to this point, but that didn’t stop her from believing that God would grant her a son. That son, Samuel, would go on to be the final judge of Israel and anoint the first two kings of Israel. Her willingness to give back … Continue reading 83: Hannah’s Humility (1 Samuel 1-2a)

We’ve been quiet for a while. Why? In short: Christmas. Also, Ryan made a new logo. What do you think of it? What are you looking forward to this year with SRB? Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly Leave us a voicemail: voicemail.scripturereadbadly.com Join our Patreon community to support the program … Continue reading 82: Interlude (We’re Back!)

In this second in-between-books episode, we discuss how to disciple as Jesus intended, versus how we have – or have not – ourselves been mentored. Are small groups the way to go? Is one-on-one discipleship more appropriate? How do you approach someone you would like to mentor? How do you approach someone by whom you … Continue reading 81: Biblical Discipleship

What if more of the Bible was an allegory than we’ve been led to believe? What if none of it is? Is the life, death and resurrection of Jesus the only non-negotiable? What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly Leave us … Continue reading 80: The Whole Bible Is An Allegory (Controversial Theology)

Was Samson a failure as a judge? Did his actions reflect his appointment by God over Israel? Was Delilah his wife? Was she evil? What was with Samson and Philistine girls? Was he strong all the time, or did strength rush upon him with the Holy Spirit? We finish out the book of Judges with … Continue reading 79: Samson Brings Down The House (Judges 15-16)

The promised son to a couple of Danites grows up to be a bit of a thug (a holy thug…sometimes). Turns out he has a bit of a thing for foreign women, riddles and murder. What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly … Continue reading 78: Samson, Master of Riddles (Judges 13-14)

We all roughly know the story of Gideon and his 300 men, but did you know Gideon didn’t finish his life like a judge was supposed to? He had heaps of kids and thought of himself as a king. One of his 70 (yes, SEVENTY) sons, Abimelech, was a total tool-bag. He thought he would … Continue reading 77: Abimelech, Gideon’s Worst Son (Judges 9-10)

After a lengthy cliff-hanger, we resume the tale of Gideon, a nobody who God chooses to be judge over all Israel. Do you know how Gideon’s story ends? It may not be as you may suspect. Tune in to hear us talk about being sore losers and sore winners. What do you think? Did we … Continue reading 76: Gideon’s 300 (Judges 7-8)

Gideon was a pretty insignificant person when God called him a “mighty man”. Not only that, but he also required a lot of reassurance that God wasn’t playing a trick on him. We discuss if his “making sure” was really putting God to the test (a sin), or if God used it to weed out … Continue reading 75: Gideon Lays a Fleece (Gideon 6-7a)

We discuss why it was significant that God raised up a female judge during a cultural patriarchy. Also, this story features one of the gnarliest deaths recorded in the Bible. Let’s just say someone wasn’t a happy camper… What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly … Continue reading 74: Deborah, the Female Judge (Judges 4-5)

We’re all familiar with this story. A left-handed man stabs a fat king until the sword disappears in his rolls. What did this mean for Israel? Who was Ehud? Why was being left-handed significant? What can we learn from this story? Was anyone else described as “obese” in the Bible? All these questions and more … Continue reading 73: Ehud, the Left-handed Assassin (Judges 3)

We interrupt this jaunt in Judges to bring you the story of a widow from a neighbouring nation; a woman who makes quite an impact on events moving forward. Not to spoil anything, but her story intersects with that of another significant female figure which we covered in the last book. We follow the tale … Continue reading 72: Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1-4)

The tribe of Benjamin chuck a Sodom and Gomorrah and do something terrible, only this time there aren’t angels to interfere and strike everyone with blindness. THEN, they act all defensive when the other tribes get upset. THEN, they go to war against the rest of the country. THEN heaps of people die. Such a … Continue reading 71: Israel’s First Civil War (Judges 20-21)

During the time of Othniel, the first Judge, Israel is in a pretty bad spot. This story follows a Levite and his concubine as they are left to their own devices. What results is a pretty gruesome sign being mailed to each of the tribes of Israel. In this episode, Jeremy and Ryan get confused … Continue reading 70: A Levite’s Concubine Cut Into Pieces (Judges 19)

Israel is beginning to spiral out of control following the death of Joshua. They’ve taken Jerusalem, but then they are oppressed by Cushion Man and his forces for a number of years. Who will God rise up to deliver the people? None other than Caleb’s nephew/son-in-law (don’t think about it), Othniel! What do you think? … Continue reading 69: Othniel, the First Judge (Judges 1-3a)

Lithuanian language tricks, a guy gets a personal priest and worships idols, which get stolen by other Israelites and worshiped elsewhere. How the people have fallen! We lay the ground work before we talk about the first judge. What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Ryan later finds out that Dan … Continue reading 68: Micah’s Household Idols (Judges 17-18, 1)

We begin our look at this juicy book by talking about how it was compiled in order of depravity, not chronology. We also talk about how sock wrestling could be made more interesting…. What do you think? Did we miss anything? Let us know! Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly Leave … Continue reading 67: Intro to Judges (Judges 1)

Another book has come and gone. This time, we discuss tribal land allotments, roasts, deal with a couple internet issues, hear about how Jeremy and Ryan met, conclude our thoughts on Joshua and the conquest of Canaan, ask some dumb questions and undoubtedly get a bunch of things wrong. Jeremy’s blog: donteattrash.com Ryan’s blog: anotherunnecessaryblog.wordpress.com … Continue reading 66: Joshua Wrap-Up (Joshua 20-24)

We discuss the morality of Israel slaughtering whole towns, and whether “the God of the New Testament” was really behind it. We also talk about inheritance again, and how to dress when the weather starts changing. Do you agree or disagree with anything we said in this episode? We would love to hear from you! … Continue reading 65: Was the Conquest of Canaan Justified? (Joshua 11-19)

Achan’s dumb sin has been done away with, so God is able to deliver Ai into the hands of the Israelites. Joshua yells at the sun and it doesn’t set. Was this the summer solstice, or something else? Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly Leave us a voicemail: voicemail.scripturereadbadly.com Join our … Continue reading 64: The Day the Sun Stood Still (Joshua 9-10)

Dodgeball. Also, how one guy disobeying the instructions given by God led to the death of many, including himself and his family. Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly Leave us a voicemail: voicemail.scripturereadbadly.com Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a bonus episode every couple of weeks: http://www.patreon.com/scripturereadbadly

Dated meme culture, creepy old cartoons, plenty of VeggieTales, Jesus as the “Commander of the Armies of the Lord”, the structure of the city of Jericho, vuvuzelas, and God leading Israel to a ridiculous victory. Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly Leave us a voicemail: voicemail.scripturereadbadly.com Join our Patreon community to … Continue reading 62: The Destruction of Jericho (Joshua 6)

After many, many years in a foreign land and wandering around the wilderness, Israel finally enter Canaan and set about claiming their inheritance. God does a miracle, people hear of it and are afraid, and so on. Contact us! Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly Leave us a voicemail: voicemail.scripturereadbadly.com Join … Continue reading 61: Entering the Promised Land! (Joshua 3-5)

Car chases, Assassin’s Creed, prostitutes, espionage, and coveralls. Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly Leave us a voicemail: voicemail.scripturereadbadly.com Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a bonus episode every couple of weeks: http://www.patreon.com/scripturereadbadly  

Season Three is here! We recap 40 years in the wilderness, discuss who Joshua was, and how it would have felt to be commissioned by Yahweh himself. We also have a short appearance from our very first guest! Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a bonus episode every so often: http://www.patreon.com/scripturereadbadly … Continue reading 59: Be Strong and Courageous (Joshua 1)

Jeremy had a conversation with someone that got him thinking; Ryan read something in the Bible that got him thinking. As a single guy and a newlywed, how much can we actually say about divorce? As a treat, this episode is available on Facebook as a video! How many times does Jeremy change clothes during it? … Continue reading BONUS: Contentious Topics: Marriage & Divorce

As we stated in episode 57, Deuteronomy is basically Moses’s speech at the end of his life, so we didn’t feel like we needed to hang out there too long! Moe dies on the mountain and Joshua takes over. Who wrote the last chapter of Deuteronomy if Moses supposedly wrote the whole Torah? What is … Continue reading 58: Torah Wrap-Up (Deuteronomy 28-34)

Ever wondered what the last book of the Torah is all about? Tune in to find out some of the answers! Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a bonus episode every so often: http://www.patreon.com/scripturereadbadly Leave us a voicemail: voicemail.scripturereadbadly.com Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly  

A few of the tribes decide to cash in their inheritance before crossing the Jordan, and we talk about what that means in the long run. Also, a shout out to everyone named Joseph! And we finish the fourth of five books in the Torah! Join our Patreon community to support the program and get … Continue reading 56: Falling Short of the Promise (Numbers 32-36)

God (allegedly) sanctions bullying, Ryan avoids a low-hanging pun, Israel yokes themselves to other gods, Jeremy reminisces about writing controversial hardcore song lyrics, the last of the old generation die (except Moses), Trogdor, women get an inheritance (under specific circumstances) and people get killed…again. Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a … Continue reading 55: Women Get An Inheritance (But Only Some) and a Priest Stabs People (Numbers 25-31)

What are “fiery serpents”? There’s a cool foreshadowing of the Cross, a king hires a dude to curse Israel, but he can’t help but speak blessings! What a crazy time. Oh, and a donkey speaks. No biggie. Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a bonus episode every so often: http://www.patreon.com/scripturereadbadly Leave … Continue reading 54: Balaam’s Talking Donkey (Numbers 21-24)

Miriam dies, Edom refuses to let Israel walk through his lawn, and Aaron likewise kicks the bucket. Also this episode: everyone’s favourite segment, “Tell Us What This Chapter Is About In Less Than Five Seconds”, Dwayne Johnson, Nicholas Sparks and a few dodgy audio issues. Join our Patreon community to support the program and get … Continue reading 53: Moses Strikes The Rock (Numbers 20)

We try out a new segment, we discuss playing Pick-Up Sticks, and we also cover the rebellion of Korah. Does God just kill people willy-nilly? The earth swallows some lads and we try to decipher the meaning behind the story. Also, Aaron’s staff buds and produces ripe almonds. Join our Patreon community to support the … Continue reading 52: People Killed For Picking Up Sticks? (Numbers 15-17)

Moses sends out a dozen blokes, most of whom convince an entire generation of Israelites that they’re grasshoppers in comparison to the inhabitants of Canaan. How big was that bunch of grapes? Why was the nation so against setting out to conquer the Promised Land right away? What were they planning on making out of … Continue reading 51: Spies, Giants and Grapes (Numbers 13-14)

The Israelites go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah; obscure Narnia quotes; Keith Green references; renaming brothers-in-law “Hobab”; Israel insists on quarrelling and making a fuss. Silly Israel. Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a bonus episode every so often: http://www.patreon.com/scripturereadbadly Leave us a voicemail: voicemail.scripturereadbadly.com Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: … Continue reading 50: Quail and Quarrelling (Numbers 10b-12)

Ryan and Jeremy get bogged down talking about “strong drinks” for a while, they discuss the origins of hipsters, the “Nazarite vowel”, and Ryan bemoans not being able to grow a beard…yet! Join our Patreon community to support the program and get a bonus episode every so often: http://www.patreon.com/scripturereadbadly Leave us a voicemail: voicemail.scripturereadbadly.com Email: … Continue reading 49: The Nazarite Vow (Numbers 6-7)

Israel is in the wilderness. We list numbers of things in Numbers, Jeremy coins the expression “at a punch”, we give an overview of Numbers, talk about the author, context, etc., etc., etc. Also, the real debut of the bass guitar. Like the show? Consider leaving us an awesome review on iTunes! Join our Patreon … Continue reading 48: So Many Numbers! (Numbers 1-2)

We wrap up Leviticus by talking about the Sabbath year and the year of Jubilee. We discuss how that could work today, and how to not go about it. We also talk about nicknames and how people insist on calling Ryan “Luke”, even if they haven’t met him before. Weird. Join our Patreon community to … Continue reading 47: The year of Jubilee! (Leviticus 20-27)

Vampires outlawed, but aliens welcomed. Laws given regarding sanitation. What does “uncovering nakedness” mean? What does “love your neighbour as yourself” mean? Join our Patreon community to support the program: http://www.patreon.com/scripturereadbadly Leave us a voicemail: voicemail.scripturereadbadly.com Email: scripturereadbadly@gmail.com Website: http://www.scripturereadbadly.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scripturereadbadly Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scripturereadb Instagram: @scripturereadbadly  

What is atonement? Why is it important? Is God so full of wrath that we need to have a substitute? Did Jesus’ sacrifice cause God to turn his back on himself? Is this the most important part of this book? Questions, questions, questions. Join our Patreon community to support the program and get another podcast: … Continue reading 45: Day of Atonement (Leviticus 16)