South of Classy

We pulled a sneaky on you here—this one’s from the archive. Recorded in September of 2019, this was the last episode before our hiatus. As we didn’t want it to go to waste, we thought, “you know who might enjoy this? People who listen to two bros talk about random stuff for 45 minutes at a time.” In this episode, we discuss Lifetime movies starring Lacey Chabert, Steve provides a D&D Update (spoiler alert: Steve gets shot and becomes the villain of the group), and there’s a toe update. At this point in 2019, toe really had to go. You know when toe actually went? About a year later. We also provide an update on our Louisiana cop friend involving a wrecked car and a breakfast pizza.

Welcome to our first guest of 2020! Through this hour, we talk about our before 40 bucket lists, provide a long-awaited D&D update, and we try to make Chris’s cat Instagram famous. Surprise, surprise, Woo is upset about the majority of the content on this episode. If you want to join the campaign to continually upset our favorite fireman, follow @itsmenekocat on IG and comment on how adorable she is.  

And… we’re alive. Back in action this week to do a terrible job explaining the year we went missing. What do we talk about first? Of COURSE we talk about Woo’s longing for the closed casinos. Steve joins in on the conversation and discusses the one time he got into the special casino buffet for high rollers. We also discuss Woo’s “scheme” for achieving the highest status of player’s cards at the Borgata. Finally, we get around to beach week. It has changed over the years since we were fresh out of college, but still fun. Round it out with the obligatory pandemic discussion, and you have yourself our first episode in over a year!

Everyone loves a good concert, and we talk about our favorites through the years. Here’s a spoiler, we’re basically best friends with a member of the Wu Tang Clan. Also, Steve splurges on drinks when he’s trying to appease a sleepy, angry friend. He paid over $300 dollars for just 4 drinks. Don’t tell Woo he said that, because he’ll argue. What else? So much else. There’s definitely a D&D update, so listen just for that. Woo hates it. It will continue.

You know what this episode has that others don’t? A special guest! Well, a guest. Some guy. OK... a dude wandered into the studio while we were recording and we put him on the podcast. Either way, we talk about conspiracy theories. But in a much truer, more honest sense, we chat for about 45 minutes about random things and call it a day. Also Steve’s toe.

On this episode, we fulfill promises and talk about Fat Thor. The guys discuss their ideal mates. Basically, we need our ride-or-die chicks. But nobody who likes olives. Dealbreaker. Also, what are they looking for in a relationship? We also do a Toe Update and talk Headline News.

On this episode, the guys talk about the true individuals they’ve met in their lives. Big personalities are relatable, and need to be discussed. If you’ve ever met anyone named “Big Earl,” he is a legend, and you will have a good time. Steve gives a toe update. You don’t know about Steve’s toes yet, but you will. And then you get an update. Woo and Steve go to a mystery dinner. Steve becomes an accidental a-hole, but also wins the night. Also, Woo gets his hair cut pretty frequently. His stylist always looks forward to it. Finally, the guys introduce a new segment: Headline News! …it’s…. just OK.

Woo wants to do steroids, but Steve interrupts, and introduces a new game. He probably stole it from Jeopardy, and he only thought of one. Don’t expect much. Steve may be a fancy boy, but at least he knows when to flee from a tornado. THEN Woo introduces us to his theories on surviving the apocalypse. They’re…. extreme. If we had to sum it up, he’s basically a war profiteer. Apartment living has made Steve soft. But he’s a trooper. Also a fancy boy. Apocalypse movies have been around since Technicolor and when we introduced talkies, but the guys discuss their favorites. Woo likes the zombie ones. We also talk about the tropes that persist through all survival movies, but as usual, expect a surface level conversation, or expect nothing. The guys introduce a new segment. It gets off-topic faster than expected. Finally, Steve’s dad is on Instagram. No account is safe.

Guess what time it is? It’s time for a Dungeons and Dragons Update! Steve is a Bard. Everyone else is a jerk. Also, everyone gets toasted. Tiger woods. He did it. Again. We discuss the impact. The guys continue on the nerd train and talk about Stan Lee, the Marvel Legacy, and Avengers: Endgame. You know, just because it’s about the biggest thing in the world right now. We discuss the best and worst endings to television shows. You’ve DEFINITELY heard of these shows.

On this episode, Woo walks us through sandbagging through ESL. Sure, he says he needed it, but he still listens to Dave Matthews. Does that add up? Also, DMB wine? Find out what Steve has to say about it. Woo embarrasses himself at the wine store by trying to embody his primal Action Bronson. It does not go well. The guys also love certain Easter candies, but in completely different ways. Steve and Woo discuss technology and the difficulty explaining it through generational gaps, especially if there is a language barrier. Spoiler alert: Woo’s parents don’t speak very good English. Woo upsets Steve on a very personal level, but with something that has nothing to do with him. Racism is stupid. Finally, we discuss Trash Island, and despite the extreme amount of corrections we got on a previous episode (at least like, 3 texts), we still get who is on money wrong.

First off, where do celebrities even meet? How do remixes happen? Why is Billy Ray Cyrus so popular? Is he even popular? So many questions. It’s Steve’s birthday! Why is it not a national holiday yet? Also, who is the true American Idol? Woo is infamous through his job. For eating. A lot. He gets gawked at. It was like a prison. Or a zoo. Either one. The guys discuss what they want to accomplish in the remainder of 2019, motivation, and consistency. Finally, we wrap it up talking about Steve’s father’s favorite topic: himself. He’s going to love this one.

A lowly-edited podcast can get weird. Steve is a Seinfeld guy. Woo is a Friends guy. Steve is right. Woo is wrong. Steve wrote this. Woo did not. Steve discusses times where he has tipped zero dollars. Only a small handful of times, but it was terrible. He will never go back to Bob Evans. He will always go back to Buffalo Wild Wings. Also some factual stuff about Buffalo Wild Wings. Steve likes Buffalo Wild Wings. Buffalo Wild Wings. Steve and Woo both share their experience with really hot wings. Do I have to give a trigger warning for poop stories? Steve gives an official “Shout Out” to Hosier. Well, to be honest, he gushes about how nice the guy is and how well he treats his fans. Steve goes on for a while. It’s… a bit embarrassing. The guys also talk about the nature of celebrity, and how it affects people. Finally, Buffalo Wild Wings. Sponsor us. Also Cheesecake Factory.

Woo is back stateside! He wasn’t taken, and is absolutely devastated. Here’s a warning: basically the entire episode is about Woo’s Eurotrip. So, if you hate all things international, this episode might not be for you. But if you’re normal, Woo says Germany and Spain are nifty. Also, Steve gets downright poetic, and Woo pre-plans a religious epiphany for 2026.

Woo realizes he’s the perfect public servant. Forgetful and a little bit aloof. Also, the shocker is something that should get you into the gym. Woo has a friend that lives in a van down by the river. Not even joking. By the way, how does rock climbing even work? Sometimes people need sandwiches. And sometimes people leave hiking trails. Let’s combine the two. If you want Steve’s personal cell phone, just work with him. You’ll get it. I’m almost tired writing this sentence, but exhaustion… take time for yourself… Finally, there's Fish Monger, The Movie! But this bit goes on for about 20 minutes. Feel free to skip ahead. Finally, joining Panda Express, Steve will never go to Hardee’s again. We’ll tell you why.

Hiatus, Schmiatus. We’ve never been stronger! Plus, what’s 2 weeks between friends? Here, Woo claims he’s never been out of the country. Steve reminds him he was born outside of the country. Woo promptly dismisses it. Either way, Woo is going to Germany and Spain, and I’m not so sure he’s going to find his way back. He says he’s going to get “taken.” Steve shares his out-of-the-country experiences, including the time he was almost abandoned by a tour guide in the rainforest. The guys reach the high point about in the middle of the cast, so if you want to stop listening after Woo’s “dad joke,” we don’t blame you. Much to Woo’s dismay, Steve talks about his bad news. Spoiler alert, it’s about his TV and Woo is very unimpressed. Pineapple on pizza? Yeah. We discuss it for about 30 seconds. IT’S A UNANIMOUS DECISION. Finally, Steve has a movie recommends.

At long last, after many nights dreaming, and wishing, it finally happened. The moment everyone has been waiting for… Steve is finally going to play Dungeons & Dragons! Through the episode, we also discuss: How to make $18 Million the easy way, and people will p[ay for anything as long as it’s the least bit entertaining. How to build the perfect group of friends, and how far off all of us are from the perfect group. We find out Woo has a certain ideal age, where if he reaches it, he’s happy letting go of his Earthly vessel. However, it’s… inappropriate. But if given the opportunity, would you live forever? And we round-out our discussion with movie talk. No, not Silent Movie Trivia, but more like, let’s think of random movies and mash them together for a bit. Stay in school, kids. Because this episode definitely won’t teach you anything.

Welcome to the new year! It’s a time for rebirth, reinvention, renewal, and re… I don’t know. I thought if I just kept typing, something clever would come to me. On this first 2019 episode of South of Classy, we talk about:  How Steve violates social norms and public donut etiquette. All for his own personal gain. For SHAME. Woo is a first responder IRL. But the only thing people are really interested in, is asking what the worst holiday is to work. Well, at least Steve is curious. We don’t know what other people think. Probably about… books… and stuff. BUT THEN! We get serious and have an honest discussion surrounding of humor, and it’s anything but funny. Also, is there no more final frontier? Looks like we’ve been there, done that. We’re AMERICA. And finally, in 2019, nerd culture unifies. Yes, you finally get to know which Hogwarts house your loveable hosts were sorted into. Join us this year, because we’re definitely not going to have any middle-of-the-road conversations. It is our great honor, to remain south of classy.

As we open this South of Classy episode, the holidays are upon us! Per the season, Woo describes how he shifts into holiday mode while embracing his “basic” nature. Basically, he’s a snow bunny who wears Uggs and puffy vests. The guys head to a holiday party with friends, and Steve finds a young nemesis. Also, Woo announces that because of his Netflix viewing habits of romantic comedies and Serendipity on repeat, his “recommended for you” cue now thinks he is a 40-year-old divorcee. It seems as if journalistic integrity has been thrown by the wayside nowadays, but for Steve, it never mattered much in the first place. We also “reinforce normalized gender roles perpetuated by the patriarchy resulting in toxic masculinity” by discussing Steve’s simple method to establish dominance in a new group of people. Woo refuses to drink out of those little black straws and wears Under Armour socks. Those two are unrelated, but both have humorous reasons behind them. The guys also meet their quota for discussing gambling or casinos at least once per episode. Finally, we discuss the concept of “extreme ownership,” and how to apply it to everyday life.

A week before Christmas, with no keyboard or mouse, it was a closed buffet, gambling, and beating the house. OK, so maybe not so much. Woo apparently found his superpower at the ripe old age of 33: losing his and many other people’s money at the craps table by being a self-described “cooler.” And don’t worry. We launch into a large discussion about our 3-day trip to Atlantic City, wherein we discuss: (1) How Woo sneaks, nay, ENJOYS sneaking away from his friends to take sneaky shots; (2) Room service, where apparently wings are in high demand and burgers don’t exist; and (3) A man who yells, screams, and looks like a tall, skinny Goldberg. Steve also had a near-death experience at a Dave Matthews Concert, but would still definitely go back. And it wasn’t from a crowd member. He just has extreme Vertigo. Also he loves the Dave Matthews Band. Like, a lot.  He doesn’t care about you and your poor taste.

In the illustrious twelfth episode, we discuss… Woo stakes down his flag and claims an official homeland. The guys review a small part of craps etiquette. Kimbo Slice, Butterbean, Dada 5000, and what it means to be a trendsetter. Steve’s father has accomplished the following in the past month: started wearing toe spacers, began journaling common conversations, and shot the head off a harmless, helpless, helpful, corn snake. Woo’s parents have accomplished the following in the past month: exercising in the house and embarrassing their son and interrupting Woo’s sleep on his day off. We also discuss how to speak Korean for a non-native speaker and Woo watches Crazy Rich Asians. He didn’t like it.

In this South of Classy episode... Can you find that canned cranberry jelly all year around? Find out our thoughts (but not really any definitive facts) here! We bow to Windell Middlebrooks for being the greatest beer spokesman of all time. If you don’t believe us, look him up. “Eleven-fifty for a cheeseburger? You’ve got to be crazy!” Mussels and Belgian beer are the most pompous way to start an evening drinking. Also, they’re the only way to go, we have become much pretentious since college, and we basically can’t stand ourselves. Amazon is coming to town. We’re not excited. BTW National Landing doesn’t exist. And we touch on many other things: Shaq, the new Lion King movie, Emma Watson reading a book, Emma Watson going to college, Emma Watson doing a bunch of other stuff... Emma Watson.

You know what kind of skin Steve eats? No, not people skin. Kiwi skin. We discuss the Myers-Briggs personality test with hard facts. Well, soft facts. Barely any facts at all. Zero facts. We discuss what makes a sport a sport. Also, let’s just say both of us are dedicating our lives to drone racing. The one true sport. Finally, a long discussion about boxing, MMA, fighting, and competitiveness in general. Come get your testosterone fix with a side of oyster folk polishing!

In this episode of South of Classy… Steve, Woo, and Steve’s Dad all love F* that’s Delicious. We discuss balancing authenticity in the podcast against our work personas Steve learns which celebrity went to a dance dressed in a white Batman suit Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you just raise a lemon All it takes is one impression, in one moment, to change someone’s life Steve has allowed himself one pretentious thing in his life: loose leaf tea. Also, he talks about it for about 15 minutes. You’re welcome.

In this episode… Steve talks about his first ever wrestling match We talk about the true nature of one-on-one sports and how they compare against a team atmosphere Steve solves the traffic problem while Woo recounts how people watch adult content at a stoplight How to eat healthy at the Cheesecake Factory… but why would you? Finally, we are often wrong. Don’t fact check us.

In this definitely South of Classy episode, we… Start strong with a long discussion about lady boys in Thailand Perform a very regrettable imitation of a cultural icon in an intimate moment Discuss the rare “Asian Amish” Delve into accepting what you can’t know and what it feels like when you die Journey into time travel: Steve’s experience with getting his wisdom teeth pulled. Listen to Woo being a wiseass Laugh about actors praising John Malkovich   Recount the only “I have a big dick joke” Steve’s dad ever told him And just… so much more.

This week, we discuss... Playing poker in college Woo getting caressed by strangers Everything about USA! USA! USA! The Beatles are bigger than Jesus? Oy! Sheila! Colin Kaepernick and Nike. Not the controversy, but the memes. Blanket statement: Steve’s brother is an animal. Woo imagines himself in an Amish community and things travel a little… South of classy….

On this South of Classy episode, we discuss… How Woo handled a public masturbator like a BOSS Some of our favorite scenes from “The Office” Firing guns with my father Steve making a plea to become a voice actor. The fact Woo doesn’t know what a garbanzo bean is How bacon JUST ISN’T THAT GOOD. And terrible things we have to eat in college.

Are craft beer makers are called basic if they make pumpkin beer? These are serious questions that need answers. How to speak Korean, the job description for being a cop in Louisiana, and staying in haunted rooms even though I don’t believe in ghosts. What do you mean there are “higher levels of infinity” and they “changed math?” If you’re looking for answers, we don’t know. But we do repeat what we think we heard, then move on. Also, Joey Diaz is my spirit animal.

Who doesn’t love when Fantasy Football and Fanfiction combine? Well… me. But at least there’s a decent story behind it. In THIS episode of South of Classy with Steve and Woo, we discuss: Using TMZ as a Fantasy Football indicator, “The Executive Workout,” and what role will Alan Rickman be remembered for? If you guessed Die Hard, you’re correct. Learning what foods are other foods, how to beat lactose intolerance, and how would YOU eat a taco if you’ve never had one before? How Woo’s parents escaped from Korea and came to the US. Well, South Korea. So I guess they just caught a plane… Also a lot more. So enjoy, you animals

What does it really mean when white people say they’re “living the dream?” Find out, among answering some of life’s greatest questions: How to get banned from a movie theater in the late ‘70’s? How to become a fear-mongering weather man? What is “Widow’s Wine Night” and how do I get involved? Also, we discuss what jobs are best for learning the value of a dollar, different sociological views on interpreting society, socialization groups through your formative years, and plenty of discussions around the various aspects of poo.

What do we talk about in our inaugural episode? Steve is thoroughly defeated in “Blind Movie Theater,” Woo convinces his friends to get tattoos, and we lay out how much money it would take to abandon each other Canada. We discuss how it is dangerous for strippers to keep their unisex names while on stage, Steve explains the difference between the Chippendales and chipmunks, and one of us is an ageist, baby racist.    Finally, we throw around wild accusations about Scientology and decide not to fact check anything. FYI, that’s pretty par for the course.