The Kluck Index

I'm off tomorrow for a colonoscopy SO SAVOR THIS!!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Not visiting grandma make be keeping her alive, we have a new sog-proof cereal, they're trying to stop us from peeing in the shower and we can get the Dirt Pie at DQ again!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tombstone is upping their game, our commutes are growing, bacon is rising, parents hate TikTok and Jolly Ranchers aren't foodSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your morning breath is a snowflake basically, we swear a lot on the internet, you can get bacon-scented laundry now and Neal is back as my mailman!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Inflation isn't rising as fast as we thought (wut?) Hershey's and Pokemon have a new jam, buffaloes are winning in Yellowstone and for many of us, paycheck to paycheck would be a huge improvement. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Outlook is bad, Chick-fil-A is testing a couple new sammies, we have a new South pole, smell is more important than looks and dogs be biting!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Atlanta is tops for grads, Meta is stifling your creativity, Chipotle has a new sauce, counting calories is no fun and we're going to have color-changing house paint!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Eggs are about the be really cheap, KFC and Chic Fil A have the trash drinks covered for Summer, Michigan is looking for Bigfoot and Diet Cherry Coke is back!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Eat your sugar, don't chug it, Dunkin wants you to wear it, smoking is down and so is feeding the birds in New JerseySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Robots are becoming more human-like, McDonald's is running back a classic, Goldfish has a new jam and a ton of us are slumping at work.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's my birthday. As a small gift to myself I'm not going to write a description of what this index is about. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Keebler has a super new cookie, offices may go extinct, smoke is in, pepper is out and it's Hug Your Cat Day!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tinder hates short kings, we only try 6 new foods a month, you should sing to your kids more and nobody is impressed with your 20 pull ups Troy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

19 minutes into date one and you're not thinking about date #2, ferrets are expensive, book clubs are a great way to meet a partner and the Taser guy is making BANK!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dang bro.....May is already over. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Traffic up means fast food is up too, V8 is getting into the energy drink game because we need more of those at the gas station, we're only decent 19 days a month and West Virginia is where the dollar goes the furthest!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your Mom was right about standing up straight, 1 in 3 of us are into the stars, ChatGPT is spitting facts about your looks, bring the roids to Vegas and today we celebrate the brisket!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cereals are getting worse, we're not paying for the food we financed (lol, wut?), pennies are out, hurricanes are in!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Memorial Day weekend and I just got paid. Every second I spend writing a description here is one more second I'm not enjoying a cold beer so here is your description, have a safe weekend!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Using coupons is sexy now, Sprite has a new Summer drink that sounds awful, toss your cukes and you better bring something to the cookout!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sleeping 8 hours may kill you, Miller Lite is running back a classic from last Summer, Sonic hates making out, and we will go anywhere for some good eatsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We have a new ranch flavor headed our way, 9 hours of sleep is too bad, it's summer of scaling back and Wendy's is coming with the heat....See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dark chocolate could replace your meds, we're self-reporting an F in a couple of areas, Naples it tops and today the Summer Bucket List is due!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our water is about to get worse, the streets are gonna be packed for Memorial Day, overdoses are down, fighting with kids is up!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Eggs are coming back down...sorta, pizza is still the king, chimps wipe, Kellogg's is killing your chances at custody and NASA wants us on Mars soon!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Porn may be outlawed entirely, Wingstop has a new jam, golf life could end your life early, some people love to be thrash talked and West Virginia.....is fat. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sweden's National Security adviser only lasted a day, Texas Roadhouse is rolling into Walmart, bagged salad could kill you and Olivia and Liam are tops!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

South Carolina screwed up an execution, Moms eat a load of lefties, Florida Man is out there having a wild weekend at the National Park and Cracker Barrel is bringing back a classic!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Weight watchers is going belly up, tip some Moscato today, Billy Gates is blowing his load and for the love of all that is Holy please don't forget Mother's Day is this Sunday!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Utah sounds like it's tops, 1 in 5 of us don't call Mom enough, Chips Ahoy! wants your foot and your dog has a mealtime ritual!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we celebrate the trades, sea lions could be drummers, Copenhagen is tops and we're getting a new Pope!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Doritos is bringing back a fan favorite, hiking pays some dividends, BK wants your teeth and Charles Dickens is running wild in Florida!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One fifth of Americans can't read what I've typed here, Hardees has a new jam, Warren Buffet is retiring and May the Fifth Be With You! *light saber noiseSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jell-O has a new Mom-pleasing flavor, Starbucks needs more peeps, diabetes is killing fewer of us, Meta has a new terrible idea and White Castle gets dirty!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To quote Justin Timberlake "It's gonna be May."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Some in the Navy messed up at work, your next lawyer could be ChatGPT, White Castle rolls out a new treat and you can't afford a starter home in 233 cities now. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bomb Pop is finally doing something new, Insomnia Cookies wants you fattened up this Summer, we don't even believe half of what we see on the internet and some realtor made big BIG bank in Florida this week!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Shadeur Sanders had a tough weekend, baby making is up, 5 Hour Energy wants you running to the potty and California is running out of license plates!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

House sales are down, scamming is up, chicken strips are back at McDonalds and today is National DNA day! Happy weekend!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Parenthood could be a helmet for your brain, today we celebrate the humble pig in a blanket, Progresso is zipping up it's soup game and talkin' to kids about puberty is rough!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Dow is down, Virginia's flag sounds hot, we have a new color, the government wants ladies knocked up and college isn't worth it for the fellas anymore. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wingstop has a new banger, China is making a helluva bridge, not a ton of us are secure in our finances and it's Earth Day!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Farming robots are almost a thing, your natural scent could be the reason you have friends or no friends and Mt. Dew has a new Summer flavor only available at one place on earth!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Scientists see a first in the ocean, Subway is doubling your meat, making bank off your home sale could be over! No idea why this didn't upload last Friday lolSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Drugs are about to be in short supply, Starbucks is all about those aprons, the new iPhone sounds out of my price range and tons of us are in a relationship rut!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Scientists have figured out the perfect day, eggs benny are having a big day, walking may be good for your back pain and Red Robin is throwing down for National Burger Month!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

"Happy" Tax Day America!!!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Taco Bell is bringing back a banger, Publisher's Clearing House is, or at least was a thing, Kraft gets bold and our fannies had a terrible weekend. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's booze screening day, Clearwater Applebee's sounds like heaven on Earth, the economy is getting worse, Hidden Valley has some new flavors and we lose some wild stuff in Ubers!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Krispy Kreme is going hard for Easter, loads of us are asking family for money these days, Virginia is for lovers and people avoiding aliens and the Direwolf is back!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

PBR is getting into the diet game, pollen is up, Clif Bars are getting hyped and March Madness is over!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.