The Kluck Index

Happy 7-11 Day!!! I'm home (almost) alone this weekend, men don't pee like we used to and our days are getting shorter!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we celebrate one of our favorite tropical drinks, learn where to live for a longer life, stay where the Smurfs stay and some of us get to keep our shoes on at the airport now!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Epstein files weren't a thing after all apparently (wut?) choking is up, healthy children are down and not getting laid could be helpful for you?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

McDonald's has three new jams today, sweets are down, cats and dogs are good for your brain, the UFC is coming to the White House and White Castle ups their chicken game!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Big weddings are out, chicken salad at Jersey Mike's is in. Waffle House has canned drinks, the US is in the fly-breeding game and today we toast dumpy bars everywhere!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The quicker I get this description of the Index written the quicker I can start the three day weekend so I am not going to write much of a description just click play and enjoy you'll find out what it was about have a great weekend don't blow off your fingers punctuation is for losersSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bologna recall in full effect, getting a doggo is going to keep you home, the dollar is having a rough go, Target has a new cheese and everything is on sale this week!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Diddy goes to the jury, Krispy Kreme keeps giving away donuts, TikTok influences how we eat, Hertz is using AI to ding your wallet and we celebrate the humble postal worker. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Baths are better than saunas, extinct Pringles flavor returns from the dead, a fat guy does fat guy things and take your rings off at the gym!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We are not feeling good about the economy, being hot fills your pocket, Mt. Dew has a new jam and caffeine may be keeping you young! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pizza Hut is bringing the Hut Love, we're all nervous about traveling abroad, bars are out and pizza at home is in and Aaron Rodgers may finally be done after this season. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Diddy prosecution has rested, Arby's has a new sandwich, Subaru is tops, Mustangs are not and some people do not know how to behave at a restaurant. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're growing our own bacon now, don't even unsubscribe from spam, Qdoba is bringing back a fan-favorite and we're all frying this week!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we celebrate a delightful pie, porno can be bad for your brain, Zillow says color matters, people are already saving for Xmas and my fanny had a busy weekend!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm off tomorrow for a colonoscopy SO SAVOR THIS!!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Not visiting grandma make be keeping her alive, we have a new sog-proof cereal, they're trying to stop us from peeing in the shower and we can get the Dirt Pie at DQ again!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tombstone is upping their game, our commutes are growing, bacon is rising, parents hate TikTok and Jolly Ranchers aren't foodSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your morning breath is a snowflake basically, we swear a lot on the internet, you can get bacon-scented laundry now and Neal is back as my mailman!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Inflation isn't rising as fast as we thought (wut?) Hershey's and Pokemon have a new jam, buffaloes are winning in Yellowstone and for many of us, paycheck to paycheck would be a huge improvement. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Outlook is bad, Chick-fil-A is testing a couple new sammies, we have a new South pole, smell is more important than looks and dogs be biting!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Atlanta is tops for grads, Meta is stifling your creativity, Chipotle has a new sauce, counting calories is no fun and we're going to have color-changing house paint!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Eggs are about the be really cheap, KFC and Chic Fil A have the trash drinks covered for Summer, Michigan is looking for Bigfoot and Diet Cherry Coke is back!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Eat your sugar, don't chug it, Dunkin wants you to wear it, smoking is down and so is feeding the birds in New JerseySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Robots are becoming more human-like, McDonald's is running back a classic, Goldfish has a new jam and a ton of us are slumping at work.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's my birthday. As a small gift to myself I'm not going to write a description of what this index is about. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Keebler has a super new cookie, offices may go extinct, smoke is in, pepper is out and it's Hug Your Cat Day!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tinder hates short kings, we only try 6 new foods a month, you should sing to your kids more and nobody is impressed with your 20 pull ups Troy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

19 minutes into date one and you're not thinking about date #2, ferrets are expensive, book clubs are a great way to meet a partner and the Taser guy is making BANK!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dang bro.....May is already over. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Traffic up means fast food is up too, V8 is getting into the energy drink game because we need more of those at the gas station, we're only decent 19 days a month and West Virginia is where the dollar goes the furthest!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your Mom was right about standing up straight, 1 in 3 of us are into the stars, ChatGPT is spitting facts about your looks, bring the roids to Vegas and today we celebrate the brisket!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cereals are getting worse, we're not paying for the food we financed (lol, wut?), pennies are out, hurricanes are in!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Memorial Day weekend and I just got paid. Every second I spend writing a description here is one more second I'm not enjoying a cold beer so here is your description, have a safe weekend!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Using coupons is sexy now, Sprite has a new Summer drink that sounds awful, toss your cukes and you better bring something to the cookout!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sleeping 8 hours may kill you, Miller Lite is running back a classic from last Summer, Sonic hates making out, and we will go anywhere for some good eatsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We have a new ranch flavor headed our way, 9 hours of sleep is too bad, it's summer of scaling back and Wendy's is coming with the heat....See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dark chocolate could replace your meds, we're self-reporting an F in a couple of areas, Naples it tops and today the Summer Bucket List is due!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our water is about to get worse, the streets are gonna be packed for Memorial Day, overdoses are down, fighting with kids is up!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Eggs are coming back down...sorta, pizza is still the king, chimps wipe, Kellogg's is killing your chances at custody and NASA wants us on Mars soon!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Porn may be outlawed entirely, Wingstop has a new jam, golf life could end your life early, some people love to be thrash talked and West Virginia.....is fat. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sweden's National Security adviser only lasted a day, Texas Roadhouse is rolling into Walmart, bagged salad could kill you and Olivia and Liam are tops!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

South Carolina screwed up an execution, Moms eat a load of lefties, Florida Man is out there having a wild weekend at the National Park and Cracker Barrel is bringing back a classic!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Weight watchers is going belly up, tip some Moscato today, Billy Gates is blowing his load and for the love of all that is Holy please don't forget Mother's Day is this Sunday!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Utah sounds like it's tops, 1 in 5 of us don't call Mom enough, Chips Ahoy! wants your foot and your dog has a mealtime ritual!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we celebrate the trades, sea lions could be drummers, Copenhagen is tops and we're getting a new Pope!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Doritos is bringing back a fan favorite, hiking pays some dividends, BK wants your teeth and Charles Dickens is running wild in Florida!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One fifth of Americans can't read what I've typed here, Hardees has a new jam, Warren Buffet is retiring and May the Fifth Be With You! *light saber noiseSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jell-O has a new Mom-pleasing flavor, Starbucks needs more peeps, diabetes is killing fewer of us, Meta has a new terrible idea and White Castle gets dirty!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To quote Justin Timberlake "It's gonna be May."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Some in the Navy messed up at work, your next lawyer could be ChatGPT, White Castle rolls out a new treat and you can't afford a starter home in 233 cities now. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bomb Pop is finally doing something new, Insomnia Cookies wants you fattened up this Summer, we don't even believe half of what we see on the internet and some realtor made big BIG bank in Florida this week!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.