The Kluck Index

WELCOME TO ROCKTOBER!!!!!!!!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wow. September, donezo. Sad. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Yesterday as National Drink Beer Day, today is the day for the beverage that will get you going from the night before, Crocs is suing Five Below, we lean toward hopeful when we find a solo sock and early retirement (lol) may cause dementia. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Raise a drink for another drinking holiday on a Monday, Firehouse is back in the Fall spirit, Samsung bricks a bunch of fridges, we have Halloween Ranch and mddle-aged folks are dying in droves!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

LJS has new wings, Princeton is no longer tops, we're getting a new hurricane and Gen Z are just done with orgasms. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We have another one of them genius kids, we're all tired, measles is back, dill is up and we're dialing the booze back!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Diesel is insane right now, IHOP is stuffing you a couple ways, NFL was on too late and we're getting "food divorces" now?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lauren Boebert rides again (and again and again), we're liars when it comes to speeding, Bears had a bad weekend and Folgers is getting fancy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Japan is loaded with old folks, Starbucks has a new drink, income is up, gar prices are going higher and interest is up too. EVERYTHING IS UP!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Most of us are all-in on Freedom of the Press, the war with Iran is costing us a ton of dough, if you're stressed try reading for a few minutes and AI is probably going to end us LOLSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A lady strips on a plane, Jimmy John's is getting serious beef, Spam is getting hot and a zoo in the UK makes a terrible marketing choice. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Going to see the Browns lose is costing an all-time high, TikTok is doling out awful health advice, your phone may be messing up your body and BK rolls out a Whopper variant. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Florida about to be dusty, we still have a ways to go with equality, Subway is getting hot and Club Crackers are getting canned!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We have a golf outing after the show today so I'm not going to waste too much time writing a synopsis of the jokes in today's edition of the Index you'll just have to trust me that all ten items are accounted for in this lil' bitty podcast version. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

LIV is out of dough, today it's all about the Salisbury Steak, GLP-1 is for the children and doctors hope you're not up peeing more than once a night!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We got screwed on gas over the holiday weekend, we're listening to more music than we did last year, Michelob Ultra is tops on the internet and Little Caesar's is bringing back a slice of the Motor CitySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Back after a long weekend, time to start the long grind to the holidays! Cheer up babe, Christmas is coming!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sonic has a weird name for this season, Good Good has had a rough couple of weeks, Penn State is a touch tone deaf and most of us hate data centers. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Rich Dad, Poor Dad guy is in deep, Pringles are getting thiccc, more of us are working class and we all think we're on the phone too much!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A 91 year old is out there making us all feel like schlubs, Arby's is in the mocktail game, Orlando is tops for retirement and pet owners are using AI a ton!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

September first happens to be National Burnt Ends Day, NASA launched $4B into space, Apple TV+ is going up and IHOP has an insane new Fall menu item!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You have got to be kidding....August is OVER? Never got close to my beach body!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We got off on a bit of a tangent so this Index is like 8 mins, sorry!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Booze-free gin is a crime, KFC ups their dipping sauce game, people are smoothing up in DMs on LinkedIn, BK finally getting it's nugget act together and naps could be killing your ass!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The oceans are getting hotter, Niners are having a rough preseason, Mountain Dew has a new collab and Crumbl is welcoming kids back to schoolSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

DQ has a new Fall flavor, most of us don't want kids on social media even though we're on it all day everyday and if you see Paul Stanley mowing Jason's yard later.....mind ya business!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Weed freak-outs are at an all-time high, McDonalds is ringing in Fall, we celebrate the waffle this morning and apparently hotel cleanliness isn't important to 100% of us when bookingSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cheetos is getting hot this Fall, more kids are working over the Summer, TV is going to give you Alzheimer's and M&Ms has a Walmart exclusive coming down the pipe....See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

American Airlines is getting bougie, new music causes traffic deaths, McDonald's is joining the energy drink scene, Subway is getting hot and Johnsonville is getting blue. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Skippy is diving into the candy game, drug prices are down (not the good ones) A&W is still around and man is it hot down South. Like a sauna!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pepperidge Farms has a new Fall jam, we wish we were more adventurous, Sam's Club has chocolate covered for Fall and you won't believe how much money flows through the Boo Boo family.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

First the penny, now the nickel may be going extinct, couple who work out together may get along better, half of us are getting dinner ideas off TikTok and coffee may be good for your testosterone!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Taco Bell and Tajin are spicing up this weekend, parents are pissed sports cost so much, Jason Lee got a secret Jeep and 8% have GAMBLED to afford school supplies. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're getting new satellites that may blind us, Dave Killer Bread is bringing back a Fall favorite, &Up is getting a facelift and Goldfish is going gluten freeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Powerball is over a billy (billionaires probably don't say "billy" when referencing their money), we have a smooth new creamer and Pumpkin Spice is just over the horizon!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're not eating our greens, Wendy's has a very unexciting new dessert, Powerball is still big and is it the Summer of the purse for men?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jalapenos are making us sick now, Applebee's is running back a fan-favorite, peptides are in, Miss North Carolina is out. Happy weekend!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Powerball is almost a billion, being retired is gonna ding you that first year, Diet Coke is out and being lazy is IN!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Back after a quick day off!!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Starbucks is going orange creme, Summer heat is cooking Unc, Pepsi is into the skin care game and Taco Bell has a new menu item that is somehow both poor sounding and fancy sounding!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Travis Kelce has a Dad bod, maintaining friendship is hard work, HOAs continue to suck, Dunkin's buckets are back on Friday and weekends in Summer are expensive!!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the end of July already? WTF?!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mitch McConnell may show up at Summer Slam, we like our music all by our lonesome, Sam Adams is going N/A for Octoberfest and some Florida man is walking around $800M richer!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Stop eating before you go to bed, Crumbl has a new spicy jam, doctors are against comfy sleepin and could be a blackout headed your way this week!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Florida sugar daddies sound violent, high gas prices have us thinking about EVs, a way high number of us still answer the door for strangers and today we celebrate milk chocolate!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fireball is helping you smuggle booze in, midterms are on the way and we're concerned about a couple things, Pringles and BW3 are collaborating and sleep habits can break a relationship. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's National Cousins Day, Cheez-It and Coors Light are collaborating, measles are way up, we love physical games and Google is raking in the dough!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bertha is tearing it up this week, TV watching could shrink your brain, BK is testing the whitest sandwich we've heard of and Phoenix is frying!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Uncrustables is facing a new challenger, Kelly Clarkson has a tummy bug, we fake it at work and stick shifts are out!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cold Stone Creamery is ruining our beach body, student loan defaults are at an all-time high, Popeye's has curds now and McDonald's is getting creamy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Playing a lot of (awful) golf these days, Florida man had a busy weekend at Lowe's, we fancy ourselves pretty green and Spain won it all this weekend!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.