The Self Centered Podcast

Do you struggle with being assertive? Do you find it hard to strike up a conversation with someone? Hard to voice your opinion at work? Do you find it difficult or impossible to get motivated. Well dang you have come to the right place today because we are talking all about confidence.  On this episode we chat with Dr. Aziz Gazipura a Clinical Psychologist and Confidence Coach. Dr. Aziz has not always been a confidence expert, in fact, he spent years stuck in social anxiety and shyness. It was facing some of his challenges head on that led him to building his skill and building his practice of supporting others in building their own confidence. Dr. Aziz was on an episode of the Lessons From a Quitter Podcast with Goli (my first guest) and I loved the interview so much and wanted to discuss more. He is the author of several books including The Solution to Social Anxiety, The Art of Extraordinary Confidence, Not Nice and his newest book On My Own Side which we chat about today.   We all know someone who exudes confidence. Sometimes too much is off putting but there are some people who do it well and that is what we usually envy. As an extroverted person, I can sometimes be mistaken for being confident because I am not shy. But the fact of the matter is, I am a hot mess and often hide behind humour. Some days, I can face anything. But most days, I question everything I do, I never think that I or my work are good enough, and can experience debilitating anxiety. But one thing I k now for sure though, is that confidence is not just a personality trait based on your upbringing or birth month or socioeconomic status. It is a skill that can be practiced and learned. Just like other skills, some pick it up quickly, others may need more practice and support.   From dating to public speaking, self esteem and inner critics we cover a lot of topics and ways to build up your confidence and become a more authentic you. You deserve to be your happiest, truest self so let's lay out a road map of ways to get there!  On this episode we chat: The threshold that took him from shy guy to the pursuit of confidence Ways to develop motivation Social anxiety & self esteem His new book On My Own Side And so much more! Where to Find and Follow Dr. Aziz:   Website: www.draziz.com Get the Book: www.omosbook.com YouTube: Get More Confidence Podcast: Shrink For the Shy Guy Check out the link below to listen to Dr. Aziz's interview with Goli Lessons From a Quitter Podcast: Episode 33 Follow along for more: Website: www.theselfcenteredpodcast.com Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theselfcenteredpodcast/

With all of the books out there on parenting, it can be really hard to navigate what to do when you first become a parent. Overwhelming really. So many different strategies all claiming to show you how to “be the best parent” or “raise a child right”. But the reality is, there is no right way. These books are just profiting off of the author's individual experiences, some of them having never raised a child themselves! No single strategy will work for every child or parent or family. My advice? Get to know YOUR child.  Thinking about all of this really got me thinking about one of the “nerdiest” things about me, my love for Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA). It is what I studied in school and used to practice in my day job and still apply in my every day life. ABA is a science that uses the principles of behaviour to improve socially significant behaviour. It focuses on individual needs not blanket approaches. It is evidence based, meaning it's application is based on the best and most current research. I hear you, “But Ash, what does this have to do with parenting or putting myself first?”. The short answer, everything. But I am not expecting everyone to become behaviour analysts, let's start with what this episode's guest, Courtney Bilton recommends - get curious! Courtney is a Board Certified Behaviour Analyst (BCBA) and former colleague of mine. She is a wife and mom of 2 and is presently on her second maternity leave. Courtney loves ABA and created an instagram and facebook account that links and shares a wealth of knowledge. Courtney does a great job of breaking down research and concepts of ABA into smaller easy to understand pieces that are easy to digest and learn from. On this episode, we chat some basics of ABA as well as what Courtney does to prioritize herself while raising little munchkins and things you can potentially do too!  No matter what you learn or don't learn today, the bottom line is parenting is hard, life is a crap-shoot, nobody is perfect but you are enough, you are amazing and you are doing a friggin good job! On this episode we chat: What is ABA, simplified Strategies that can be used in everyday parenting  Why she started Bilton Behaviour Self care tips and more! Where to Find and Follow Courtney:   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/biltonbehaviour/ Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/Bilton-Behaviour Follow along for more: Website: www.theselfcenteredpodcast.com Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theselfcenteredpodcast/

If you are anything like me than spending time social distancing and isolating leaves you with more time alone with your thoughts...and that can be a blessing and a curse. For me, my focus has seemed to be drawn to my body and all the things I hate. Learning to accept and love my new(ish) curvier body has been something that I have been working on for the past year or so and had been making some major strides but in times of stress, things start to bubble up and here were are, back to picking every roll and crevice apart.   If you struggle with body image and body acceptance then this conversation with Kinzie Ferguson is just what you need. Kinzie is a boudoir photographer who has a magical eye for seeing beauty in all bodies. Kinzie takes beautiful and intimate photos of women of all shapes and sizes and celebrates every inch of them. Got stretch marks or cellulite?  She sees beautiful texture. Fat rolls? She loves them! Saggy skin? She sees skin with sexy movement!  Kinzie has a genuine and unique way of seeing our bodies and I find it so refreshing and interesting! On this episode, we learn more about how to see all bodies through her lens, how to be kinder to ourselves and the safe  space she has created online.  On this episode we chat: How she become a boudoir photographer  The power of compliments and selfies Online communities and safe spaces What it's like to work with Kinzie Misconceptions of body size And More! Where to Find and Follow Kinzie:   Website: https://empowermentphotographer.com   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/empowermentphotographer/ Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empowermentstudio Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/empowermentstudio Follow along for more: Website: www.theselfcenteredpodcast.com Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theselfcenteredpodcast/

Do you have strangers on the internet that you absolutely adore and admire? People that you don't even know but are rooting for them or believe and value what they do? For me, one of those strangers is Kayla Nielsen.  Kayla is a yoga practitioner and a real life time traveler who travels the world all while making it a better place. I first came across Kayla on Instagram where images of her practicing yoga with breathtaking backdrops and the effortless way she is able to move her body mesmerized me. What is even more captivating than her pictures are the captions and thoughts beneath them. Kayla is very open both with her heart and her mind. She shares very honestly her life, her excitements and her struggles which is why I am so thrilled to have had an opportunity to chat with her.  What I love so much about Kayla is her duality. She is strong and resilient, both physically and mentally but also vulnerable and soft-hearted. On this episode,  she shares her story of how an abusive relationship and an important pep talk kick-started her pursuing the vision she had to make an impact on the world. A natural teacher of more than just yoga, Kayla teaches us to open our hearts, follow our passions, honour our emotions and declutter our lives. I know you will love Kayla as much as I do and too be inspired to light up our world.  On this episode we chat: What to expect on a GLOW yoga retreat  How you can make a difference in the world or your community What exactly is Ayahuasca? Misconceptions & stigma in the wellness community Decluttering And More! Where to Find and Follow Kayla:   Website: https://kaylalanielsen.com/   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kaylalanielsen/ GLOW: https://www.golightourworld.net/ Kindred Connection: https://www.kindred-connection.com/ Yoga: Alo Moves Follow along for more: Website: www.theselfcenteredpodcast.com Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theselfcenteredpodcast/  

With last week's episodes discussing various life transitions and approaches, this week we chat with the endearing Beth McKay about practicing self care at work and self exploration. Beth is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Facilitator, Motivational speaker and champion for other women. We discuss why learning to take care of yourself both in and out of the workplace is so important in the day of overworking and overdoing. Beth is an open book when it comes to her own and continued journey. We learn how a simple question from a friend took this “city girl” from owning a home in Toronto to waking up to the Atlantic everyday now in Nova Scotia. Beth really advocates for women to dig deeper into themselves and nurture their curious spirit and self compassion. While Beth primarily works with women, this discussion has takeaways that anyone can benefit from, so listen in and learn! In this episode we chat about: Why Beth left the city to move to Nova Scotia Checking out of Social Media Learning to love yourself  Getting the the “Eff-it” place And more! Connect with Beth!   Email:beth@bethmckay.com Website:https://thebodaciousway.com/ Beth's website is being revamped but is here for you to visit in the future! Follow along for more: Website: www.theselfcenteredpodcast.com Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theselfcenteredpodcast/ Twitter: @SelfCenteredAsh

  Have you ever felt like you are maybe at a crossroads in your life and you don't know which direction to choose. Maybe you aren't given the choice and a major life change just hits you? Like a break up? Or being laid off? When you think about your life, our lives are full of transitions. Some of them welcome and anticipated like getting married or going to high school. Others...not so much. Regardless of the life transition we are about to embark on, change is freakin stressful! And that is what we are talking about this week on the podcast.  On this episode, we chat with Ingo Rauth (Ph.D.) whom I would describe as a Transition Guru. Ingo is an Adjunct Professor at IE Business School and an Innovation Leadership Coach with a keen interest in research. In fact, I recently was a participant in a research project Ingo was pursuing specifically around life transitions.  What I love about Ingo is his incredible ability to get you to think a little differently and deeper, to bring to the surface of what it is you really want and/or need to create a more meaningful for YOU. A true coach, he doesn't give you his opinion but rather offers some tools and thought provoking strategies to assist you in reaching answers yourself. Whether you are in the midst of a transition or anticipate the need for change but aren't sure how to navigate, you will be sure to benefit from a chat with Ingo! In this episode we chat about: Ingo's latest research project Various ways to approach transitions Our past experience's influence  The locus of control  And more! Keep in touch with Ingo:   Website: http://schoolofbecoming.org/ Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/schoolofbecoming/ Follow along for more: Website: www.theselfcenteredpodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theselfcenteredpodcast/  

This episode was scheduled to be released prior to the events of this week and I was a little hesitant to release it but feel the topic is important. Life is precious and fragile and sometimes very unkind. We truly never know what the future holds. But just because we are not guaranteed to live to old age, does not mean we cannot think about or let be known our preferences and wishes for that time. Have you ever thought about planning for death? Your death? A loved one's? It's a cringey topic and most people do not like talking about or thinking death, no matter what your age or circumstance. So full disclosure, I presently do not have life insurance or a will and to be perfectly honest, I haven't given much thought to them beyond acute interest when I hear it being talked about on a podcast or talk show or at times like these when we are reminded how quickly things can change. I know these things are really important but I seem to always push them down to the very back of my mind.  I do however, oddly think about my funeral. Often. Maybe I am totally alone and whackadoo on this one but I wonder who will be there? What will it look like? What kind of food will be served? I also admittedly have this unhealthy need to be liked. Not admired or anything. Just liked. When I think about my life, how I want to live it and the person I want to be, I often think about my death and how I don't want anyone I have ever encountered to be happy to hear about it or not even care at all. I want them to think “Oh, she was nice!” (how Canadian of me no?).Even if I personally don't like someone, I still don't ever want ill feelings towards me. It makes me anxious to think about. Is that weird? Probably something I should work through... On this episode, we chat death and dying with Ilene Hart, a wonderful woman who has led an incredible life rooted in service to others, not only as a licensed professional counsellor and certified life coach but as a genuine human being who always acts in kindness and with an open heart. Ilene has the incredible ability to connect with everyone she meets. I have witnessed complete strangers open up to her about their lives and she just soaks it in and then wraps them in love and warmth. Despite being in her senior years, Ilene approaches life with continuous curiosity and appreciation and is an eternal student. As such, I am always learning from Ilene. This past year she had mentioned to me a couple of things I had never heard of before: Death Doulas and Death Cafes. And so I wanted to connect with her to hear her take on a topic that so many of us feel uncomfortable with.  In talking about approaches to death and dying, we are not talking about sudden or unexpected incidences of loss like the unimaginable tragedy of this week. Instead we are talking about living to old age or circumstances when you may know a life is ending for example, with terminal illness. I know this conversation is not going to be for everyone, although ironically death inevitably affects everyone. But I completely understand it is a really tough thing to talk and think about and doesn't necessarily fill you with the feel goods. So proceed with caution and who knows, you just may see things in with a different perspective. I know I do!  In this episode we chat about: Death Doulas and Death Cafes  Why it is so hard to talk about death Legacy projects Grief Links to references made:   The work of Stephen Jenkinson: https://orphanwisdom.com/ Death Doula Information: https://endoflifedoulaassociation.org/ Death Cafe Resources: https://deathcafe.com/ Jill Schelsinger - for tips on financial considerations for end of life: https://www.jillonmoney.com/ Follow along for more: Website: www.theselfcenteredpodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theselfcenteredpodcast/

“I don't think I am in love with you anymore and I don't think I can do this.” words my husband Kalen said to me this past year that rocked me like an earthquake and left me shocked, scared, and wounded.  On this episode, Kalen and I sit down to rehash what exactly happened in our relationship that led to this point and how we managed to SPOILER ALERT, stay together. Putting ourselves out there and sharing our story with you is not an easy thing to do. We both feel though, that these conversations shouldn't be taboo. This is life and it's not always rainbows and sunshine or achieving #couplegoals status. We know our story isn't unique and we also know that some people's stories and experiences are much more painful and traumatic than ours. Our hope in sharing this is so that couples or individuals that may have experienced this or are going through something similar, know that there is no shame and no relationship is perfect as well as to provide insight into what helped us that may be useful to someone else.  Just a few things we discuss in this episode: Why my husband “fell out of love”  What worked for us in a difficult time Stigma If you have any questions for us or would like to hear how we work through other things, reach out, we would love to hear from you! Website: www.theselfcenteredpodcast.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theselfcenteredpodcast/ If you you might need additional support around your mental health or if you are in an abusive relationship and need some help, I have included some links to resources below. These are not exhaustive but a starting point and each have additional directories within them.  Mental Health Resources: Canada - https://www.ementalhealth.ca/ US - https://www.mhanational.org/about-mental-health Domestic Violence Victim Resources: Canada - http://endingviolencecanada.org/getting-help/ US - https://www.acf.hhs.gov/fysb/resource/help-fv

*This episode was recorded in stereo, so if listening on headphones make sure they are both in!* Are you an emotional hoarder like me? Do you sweat the big stuff? The small stuff? And the completely insignificant? See while to some people in the outside world I may come across as happy and carefree, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. I hold onto things waaaay too long. Forever in some cases. And I am an empath through and through.  You see the thing is though, this isn't working for me. I have had insomnia for over 16 years, I have grappled with anxiety since my early twenties, I'm losing all my hair and while I try to kill the outside world with kindness, my inner circle suffers the wrath of someone who is tired, stressed and emotional.  I came across a book recently entitled “Let That Sh*t Go” and immediately said “Okay!” as I picked it up. Little did I know,  this bright yellow, sassy-titled piece of work would be the warm hug and slap in the face I needed. The book is co-written by Nina Purewal and Kate Petriw, two badass women who are modernizing the principals mindfulness and finding peace in your everyday life. The book is FULL of tips, tools and strategies for you to learn to Let That Sh*t Go and live your best life. They get real about their journeys, facing tragedy and trauma and provide easy to understand, real life examples of how to apply these strategies. I had the opportunity to chat with Nina and Kate and it was a conversation you MUST listen to!  In this episode we chat about: The importance of modern day mindfulness  The Instagram hangover Myths of meditation What is next for this dynamic duo and so much more! The book is going to be a staple in my day-to-day for years to come and I cannot wait to see what comes next. For more from Nina and Kate see the links below! Where to Find and Follow Nina & Kate:   Website: https://www.letthatshitgothebook.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letthatshitgo_book/ Get the book on Amazon Follow along for more: Website: www.theselfcenteredpodcast.com https://www.instagram.com/theselfcenteredpodcast/

Are you working day in and day out at a job that is crushing your soul draining everything in you? Do Sunday often bring you anxious night sweats? Maybe you somehow ended up in this job and don't even know how you got there. Or, maybe you are like my first guest and spent you entire life working towards this career of your dreams, only to realize you frickin hate it! On this very first episode, we get to chat with the wonderful Goli Kalkhoran, host of the Lessons from a Quitter podcast and former lawyer turned entrepreneur. From a young age, Goli had her mind set on being a lawyer, which isn't an easy feat. She put in the work, she put in the time and landed a dream job at a big law firm...and hated it. Goli is very open about her journey and we discuss the challenges faced when finding yourself miserable in your career path, how she finally took the leap and quit, as well as the various pressures we often face or rather put on ourselves in the hopes of pleasing others. Goli also shares some insight into what she has learned in interviewing other “quitters” on her podcast and offers advice for anyone looking to make a change.  You definitely need to give her show a listen and follow her on Instagram for endless tips, tools and motivation. See the links below! Where to Find and Follow Goli:   Website: www.lessonsfromaquitter.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lessonsfromaquitter Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lessonsfromaquitter/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/quitterpodcast Follow along for more: Website: www.theselfcenteredpodcast.com Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theselfcenteredpodcast/

Before we kick off the show I want to introduce myself and what this podcast is all about! This is just a brief warm welcome and below if a list of what you can expect JUST SOME THINGS WE MIGHT TALK ABOUT: Self Care Careers Mental Health Self-love Mindfulness Stress Health The list goes on and on! WHAT YOU WILL LEARN: Different perspectives/approaches Tip & strategies Tool that have worked for others You are not alone Where to find additional resources And so much more!