The Triad

I was a divorced single parent of two and on a very downward spiral when I got pregnant from a one-night stand with a guy much younger than me that did not want to help me raise this child. I was what you would consider old in the birth mom world; I was thirty-nine when I was placed in March of 2020. I contemplated abortion but knew I couldn't go through with it. I feel like I had wisdom from age and having two older kids and I knew firsthand how hard it is to raise children, even with a partner. I knew there was no way I could add another child to my life and raise him completely on my own while working full time with no family help. My little guy just turned one and the parents and I have a great relationship with open adoption. This has been the hardest year of my life, but I never regret my decision because I know I can always be in his life. The family is local, and I even pumped milk for the first five months and delivered it to them! The family also has an adopted daughter so that is great for my son. I have visited every few months and they have always been so welcoming to me and my kids. We have had a few bumps in the road as we only met a week before he was born but we are all in it for the long haul. I am so fortunate that my kids and I will still be able to be in Isaac's life and watch him grow up!

Sharon Obazee is accomplished in vast areas.  Her life passion and mission truly began when she was adopted at nine months and was the first of 5 unrelated adopted children.  Her appreciation and respect grew for her parents while immensely witnessing a revolving door of over 300 foster children.  Rather than allow life's occurrences to fracture Mrs. Obazee, she prevailed.  She paved an existence, obtaining self-acceptance, pursuing unfathomable dreams, and embodying confidence and conviction to support others.

Born during the Baby Scoop Era, relinquished at birth, and adopted shortly thereafter, I began the search for my birth-family at the age of 15, but was strongly discouraged by an adoption social worker. Finally, in my 50's, I found the courage to undertake my search and discovered that despite my best efforts to deny it, the experience of being adopted permeated just about every aspect of my life. Taking this journey has been essential and healing. I highly recommend it. Surround yourself with people who will support you as you learn your origin story and weave it into your history. You deserve your truth.

Alisa Matheson is the Founder & CEO of Attempting Agape.  One woman show, Attempting Agape, has grown over the years. Alisa is proud to share her love of photography, adoptive parenting and foster care advocacy, all based out of Minneapolis, Minnesota.  Alisa has traversed the foster and adoptive world system as a single mom, and as an adoption professional.  Along the way, she became an enthusiastic pro-reunification foster parent, an advocate for youth in the foster care system to have less moves and access to their full story, and an advocate for better trained and prepared parents and workers.  https://attemptingagape.com/ Alisa Matheson Blogger, Photographer & MN Youth Services Contractor 763.807.4898 alisa@attemptingagape.com https://www.attemptingagape.com/

LaWanda is a white adoptive mom to two transracial adoptees. When she and her husband began their adoption journey seventeen years ago, there was very little education on adoption apart from attachment disorders. Six years later, after adopting their second child, LaWanda had an emotional breakdown as she realized, and literally felt, the complete devastation of adoption. She spent nighttime feedings crying for the postpartum mama that was trying to dry up her milk. She grieved for her son who didn't recognize her voice as familiar. Since that time LaWanda has tried to educate herself through reading and listening to as many adoptee and birth mom voices as she can. In 2017, the universe gifted her a beautiful friendship with a birth mom. From that friendship, she has grown leaps and bounds in understanding the complexity that is adoption, and has begun to find her voice in the adoption community. She is now an advocate for reunification and supporting birth parents in parenting through organizations like SAFE FAMILIES. She also supports transparency, ethical practices and education in adoption agencies.

I am a birth mom, foster mom, adoptive mom, and always a real mom. I am an advocate registered with Saving Our Sisters, to help birth moms stop unnecessary adoptions and parent babies they truly love and wish to parent. I live a really average blue-collar American life with my kids and husband and our animals.

I am a child of God. I am the wife of an amazing man, Byron Walker, and together, we have three beautiful daughters: Kesha, Bethany, and Olivia. I am an avid dog lover and I adore our brindle Bullmastiff, Baine. I am the youngest daughter of LeRoy and Anna Titus, and the bratty little sister of Shelley Price and Sherre Titus. I am an occasional troublemaker who believes that most of the world's problems can be solved with dinner and good, honest conversation. I am a co-host of the popular podcast, THE TRIAD, the host of a soon-to-be-released television show for TLC and Discovery+, and a former researcher for TLC's beloved show, Long Lost Family. I am a mentor, teacher, encourager, and inspiration to countless people. I am the Chief Executive Officer for GRAITH Foundation, the co-owner of Circle Square Services, and the owner of Manner Of Fact. I am a proud member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated and the Links, Inc. (CA-OC). I attended Fisk University, the State University of New York (SUNY-Empire State), California State Dominguez Hills University, and Trinity Law School. I hold a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology, a Master of Science in Behavioral Science, and a Juris Doctorate. I am a philanthropist, and a gym rat, and I never take "No" for an answer. I am not a motivational speaker, rather, I am a light, a magnifying glass, and a mirror to those who want to take their lives or business to the next miraculous level. I am a dream maker and an idea creator. I am relentless in my pursuit of excellence and purpose, and I am here to help others become their best selves. I am Shelbi Walker.

My name is Stefani, and I am a 30-something-year-old adoptee in Milwaukee, Wisconsin! (Millennials represent!) I have been in reunion since 2019 and it hasn't been an easy road, to say the least. I was born in Arizona in 1987 and had a closed adoption at 8 days old. Growing up in the small town of Janesville, Wisconsin, I always knew I was adopted and was trained from an early age by my adopted parents to be able to talk about it with ease. This is something I always thought was commendable in my earlier years because more often than not you hear of lies and deceit surrounding adoption. I grew up as Laura, Stefani is my birth name that I have recently taken back. In April of 2019, everything changed; lies and abuse from my adopted family began to unravel when my adoptive mom told me (a month before my wedding) that she had always known I had a full blood sister who was not given up, and they decided to keep that information from me. Once my view on my own adoption and family changed, my whole life changed.   Today I am working towards healing, finding myself, and telling my story. I am passionate about adoption, and the number one thing I want to drive home is that ALL ADOPTION IS TRAUMA!!!! We can survive it and heal if adoptive parents are educated and open to doing what is best for their Adoptee.  Please reach out and ask me any questions about Adoption, my story, or anything else! Thanks for being here and supporting my journey and the adult Adoptee community! 

Too Black to be White, and too White to be Black. Billy Williams was raised in Los Angeles, California in a loving home. His Teamster father and stay-at-home mother did their best to give Billy the charmed life that every child dreams about. Karate classes taught by Chuck Norris, designer clothes, and access to the upper echelon of Black society, Billy seemed to have it all. But, sometimes, what you see, is a cover for more sinister secrets that lay just below the surface. Follow Billy as he explores his childhood, and teen years and his triumphant quest to discover who he is and where he comes from. His journey is filled with lies, secrets, drugs, sex, abandonment, and ultimately, redemption.

In 2011 During the Juneteenth Parade, Nikki Brown became the first Black clown in Portland. Since then, she has been active in the clown community and has earned numerous accolades. As a foster parent, she believes in building up her children's self-esteem! As a foster parent, she works to educate foster and adoptive parents on how and why the children's needs have to come first.

A Late Discovery Adoptee who has finally found her true biological identity.

FASD Family Life podcast is where we get REAL about raising children and youth with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. Host and FASD Educator, Robbie Seale, synergizes her 20 years of lived experience, in-depth knowledge of FASD, and the best research to educate, encourage, and equip parents and caregivers raising children and youth with FASD. Robbie's passion is to help families thrive because she knows the struggle is real and so is a success. Weekly episodes of FASD Family Life discuss the challenges families experience and delivers effective strategies to improve family cohesion and increase understanding of this complex disability. Do you have a question about FASD or are you struggling with a challenging situation? Email your questions to FASDFamilyLife@gmail.com for a personal response from Robbie Seale

I stared at the big brown envelope sitting on my kitchen counter. After 10 minutes I gingerly gathered it to me and sat down at the dining room table. I cautiously slid out the contents. Five days previously, I had made contact with my birth family for the first time. One of my new sisters had sent me this package. Its contents were as precious to me as pure gold: photographs of birth family spanning over 100 years. As I looked into their faces, something changed within me. I felt a connection that I had never felt until then. Tears bubbled up from deep inside. I looked like these people. I saw my mother's hands. They were identical to mine. I felt like they were mine. This was the reconnection I needed to begin the search to finding myself. That paragraph is definitely personal. The more factual part (although it is all personal!) would be that I was born in Oakland, CA at the Salvation Army hospital for unwed mothers, August 13, 1945. I was relinquished two months later and three months after that I was adopted by a very wonderful family. However, in my mind, January 4, 1946 was the day my life began. I never thought about another mother or what my life was like the days before. But in my unspoken heart, I was feeling a growing sense of dissatisfaction and malaise. I didn't know myself. I very easily felt rejected. I married in 1970 and was very co-dependent most of those years. By 1996, I had no sense of my identity or sense of direction. I needed control. I went to Therapy. I wanted to look at my adoption as a possible reason for the huge hole I was feeling. Fast forward, I began the search for my Birth Mother. I learned from the investigator that my mother, Lucille, had died of cancer in April 1995, but they had located my Birth Family, 3 sisters. On March 12, 2000 I made the call that would change my life forever. It was as if I was wandering, lost. I was now connected to my roots and I felt like I was home. I may also want to talk about my search for my Original Birth Certificate. California adoption records are sealed. I petitioned Alameda County Courts 3 times only to be denied. I can't even get them now even though my Birth Family knows me. If my petition had been approved, I would have met my mother, and found myself.

Birthmother, Jennifer Krauth, joins us to share her story of the ups and downs of open adoption.

For the last decade, we have been a foster and adoptive family. We have had close to 20 kids come through our home and legally adopted 4 of them. We understand the power of stories and the connection that can be made when we can relate to one another's stories.Our endeavor is to use those stories to build connections between kids and caring adults so that no child is left without a place to feel like they have found a "home." This belonging is often the one thing that can lead a heart to create a meaningful life and mitigate future problems that often arise in youth populations that do not have those strong connections.

Shanyce Henley is a Chicago Native HR professional who has recently moved to Washington State. She is also an Assistant Caseworker for On Your Feet Foundation. She is described as a carefree, nerdy, creative, goofy, and kind person in a large box. She is a birth mother to fraternal twins in a very open interracial adoption. She currently has a blog with her twins' adoptive mom. Please visit ouramazingforeverfamily.com to know more about her story and her adoption story.

I stared at the big brown envelope sitting on my kitchen counter. After 10 minutes I gingerly gathered it to me and sat down at the dining room table. I cautiously slid out the contents. Five days previously, I had made contact with my birth family for the first time. One of my new sisters had sent me this package. Its contents were as precious to me as pure gold: photographs of birth family spanning over 100 years. As I looked into their faces, something changed within me. I felt a connection that I had never felt until then. Tears bubbled up from deep inside. I looked like these people. I saw my mother's hands. They were identical to mine. I felt like they were mine. This was the reconnection I needed to begin the search to finding myself. That paragraph is definitely personal. The more factual part (although it is all personal!) would be that I was born in Oakland, CA at the Salvation Army hospital for unwed mothers, August 13, 1945. I was relinquished two months later and three months after that I was adopted by a very wonderful family. However, in my mind, January 4, 1946 was the day my life began. I never thought about another mother or what my life was like the days before. But in my unspoken heart, I was feeling a growing sense of dissatisfaction and malaise. I didn't know myself. I very easily felt rejected. I married in 1970 and was very co-dependent most of those years. By 1996, I had no sense of my identity or sense of direction. I needed control. I went to Therapy. I wanted to look at my adoption as a possible reason for the huge hole I was feeling. Fast forward, I began the search for my Birth Mother. I learned from the investigator that my mother, Lucille, had died of cancer in April 1995, but they had located my Birth Family, 3 sisters. On March 12, 2000 I made the call that would change my life forever. It was as if I was wandering, lost. I was now connected to my roots and I felt like I was home. I may also want to talk about my search for my Original Birth Certificate. California adoption records are sealed. I petitioned Alameda County Courts 3 times only to be denied. I can't even get them now even though my Birth Family knows me. If my petition had been approved, I would have met my mother, and found myself.

I was born and adopted in the District of Columbia in 1965. I am currently an attorney and the founder of Adoptee Rights Law Center, where I represent adult adopted people on issues related to birth records, identity documents, and U.S. citizenship. I am also the president of Adoptees United Inc., a national non-profit organization dedicated to education and advocacy for all adopted people on issues of identity, citizenship, and equality.

My story begins in the fall of 2007 when I rediscover a shoebox in my closet. It lead me back to the ‘70s, my first love and the baby I surrendered to adoption in 1978. What I uncovered, totally transformed my life.My first love and I marry after finding one another after 27 years, search and find our daughter on Father's Day 2008 and she and her children come to live with us and we begin to heal our broken family. The next ten years would prove to be challenging and heartbreaking, as we all come to terms with our loss. In 2017 our story made global news when we legally adopted our daughter, changed her name to her birth name, and terminated her adoption. She was thirty-nine years old. (this was her birthday present!)I harnessed my anger and decided to write my state senator, start my own not for profit., get a bill on the floor for Indiana and advocate for adoption reform. Over the course of nine years, Hoosiers for Equal Access to Records now has access to records for those born from 1941-1993. Our sister organization, Indiana Adoptee Network, our educational non-profit, outgrew its name and is now The National Association of Adoptees and Parents Inc. Today, I am the President of the National Association of Adoptees and Parents and host a Friday night virtual event called Adoption Happy Hour where we elevate the voices of all members of the adoption constellation. Our attendance has gone global and we have an average of 60-75 every Friday night. In addition, I have co-written a children's book, Frankie and Friends Talk Adoption, and am currently working with the amazing Nancy Verrier on a parental guide for adoptive parents.I am also the author of The ShoeBox Effect, Transforming Pain Into Fortitude and Purpose, guiding others on how to unpack loss and find acceptance and peace with the past and was recently appointed to the board of directors for Women's Writes Publishing and Author Services, dedicated to enhancing the societal status of women by providing a platform for the female voice.

Lydia is an adult transracial adoptee that was privately adopted as an infant. For much of her childhood, Lydia struggled with feeling like she belonged and feeling confident in her blackness. Lydia works full time as a child welfare caseworker and in her personal time works as a fierce advocate to amplify the voices and experiences of transracial adoptees. Lydia seeks to empower transracial adoptees in the development of their racial identity. She also aims to educate White Adoptive Parents on the complexities of adoption and the importance of racial mirrors and celebrating racial differences. I also have mentorship programs that I offer for transracial adoptees and transracial families.

I got pregnant at 21 back in 1989 and figured I'd parent, but my scared boyfriend convinced me to attend crisis pregnancy counseling. I thought it might help him stick around. Instead, the program forced me to address my history of abuse and emphasized my incompetence to parent, so when he left, I chose adoption. I have mixed feeling about the counseling – both helpful yet coercive and preying on my innocence.Navigating the aftermath of placement proved infinitely more traumatic than I'd imagined, but I got yearly updates so with hopes of one day reuniting took advantage of my second chance. I attended college and got a decent job, but when my son, Michael, turned eight, the updates ceased. After discovering I had no recourse, I resorted to blocking him out.Then, on the day before Michael's 18th birthday, a letter arrived from the adoption agency. A big stack of photos and a thick letter. This is when I discovered that the adoptive mother committed suicide when our son was ten. I took this information as further evidence that I was a bad mother for choosing a poor replacement. I feared Michael would hate me and struggled with the complex emotional nature of reunification. I wanted to throw myself into a relationship with him, but I listened to the advice of professionals and loved ones and let him set the pace. His sporadic texts and emails were emotionally excruciating. It was two years before he finally asked to meet face-to-face.After a whirlwind, hours-long meeting, I hoped for more but was disappointed when his communiques` dwindled again. Assured by my husband there was plenty of time, I sat back, albeit impatiently, to wait. Then, in the early hours of the Fourth of July 2013, I received the news that my twenty-three-year-old son had died in his sleep.The shock of his sudden death was tempered by the unexpected compassion I received from his adoptive family at the funeral. They welcomed me and introduced me to everyone as his birth mother, contradicting years of negative internal messages. In the years since our son's passing, we've built a mutually caring relationship.I've written a memoir about the experience of loosing my son twice. As I struggled in the aftermath of losing my son a second time, I discovered I could not heal one loss without also addressing the other, and that the losses were strikingly similar.

Hope O Baker is the definition of a boss woman. She is a successful business woman growing her career in Global Partner Management and a budding Entrepreneur. Hope is the international bestselling author of Finding Hope, which follows her journey of placing her new-born son in an open adoption and all the trials and tribulations that followed. She worked herself out of a deep depression, addiction struggles and is now thriving in life. She is a fierce advocate for birthmother rights, diversity and women rights. Hope recently relocated back to Minnesota from London and is starting the next chapter in life - home ownership! She is light you need, and the woman you want in your corner, through the good and bad!

Susannah Eitleman learned that she was adopted before she could walk. Her parents gave her the gift of truth and allowed her the freedom to ask questions. Although they didn't have many answers, they supported her when she decided to the seek out the identity of her biological roots. Her story is compelling and she shares it fully and candidly with the Triad. She was born in upstate New York.

After struggling with infertility after our first-born child, my wife and I decided to adopt. We chose the Philippines after being led by God. We adopted two young boys, three years apart. Although we tried to prepare for the new family ahead of time, there's nothing like actually doing it.

Tim Monti-Wohlpart (BS, MS.Ed) is a New York born adoptee, in reunion since 1998. He is the National Legislative Chair of the American Adoption Congress (AAC) and the creator of the grassroots Citizens Petition to Enact the Clean Adoption Reform Law.  In 2002 and 2003, he served as Vice President and Legislative Liaison for New York Statewide Adoption Reform. At that time, he lobbied for unrestricted original birth certificate access for adult adoptees. In 2015, he began a grass-roots effort to restore, advance, and enact the unrestricted access bill after it was changed in June 2015. His public petition, supporting that effort, was provided to key legislators, Governor Cuomo and the Department of Health.  He holds a B.S. in marketing, with a minor in political science, and a Master of Education. He lives in Brooklyn.NEW BOOK REVEALS SHADOW HISTORY OF ADOPTION!American Baby: A Mother, A Child and the Shadow History of Adoption, by Gabrielle Glaser: Available 1/26/21.American Baby: A Mother, A Child, and the Shadow History of Adoption by journalist, and best-selling author, Gabrielle Glaser was released on January 26, 2021. Gabrielle is a past American Adoption Congress (AAC) conference speaker, and in 2018, wrote the New York Times piece, Don't Keep Adopted People in the Dark.In the spring and summer of 2018, AAC National Legislative Chair Tim Monti-Wohlpart and Secretary Shawna Hodgson discovered major scientific research -- extending beyond the twin-and-triplets studies -- conducted on surrendered children. They collaborated with Gabrielle, and together worked to reveal sinister federal involvement and scientific racism toward relinquished infants throughout the New York area for decades after World War II.“Claiming to be acting in the best interests of all, the adoption business was founded on secrecy and lies. American Baby lays out how a lucrative and exploitative industry removed children from their birth mothers and placed them with hopeful families, fabricating stories about infants' origins and destinations, then closing the door firmly between the parties forever. Adoption agencies and other organizations that purported to help pregnant women struck unethical deals with doctors and researchers for pseudoscientific "assessments," and shamed millions of young women into surrendering their children.”