Unbitten

Say hello to our NEW A Court of Thorns and Roses Podcast! Join us over at Uncourted to follow along! What makes us so qualified to talk about ACOTAR? Well you see we love fantasy and romance, and also we're queer so jot that down. We discuss what to expect, and what Em already knows about ACOTAR, and look forward to the deep dive ahead of us. Welcome to Prythian!

We've been bitten. That's it. That's the description.

Join us with guest Meg, professional podcast stalker who wormed her way into our lives (aka our friend) to talk about the movie Breaking Dawn Part 2. Yes, Cam has finally seen That Scene and it was delightful to witness. We can officially say Cam has been bitten.

In this penultimate episode of the main series we watched Breaking Dawn Part 1 and enjoyed the hell out of it. Movie episodes are always some of our favourites so enjoy hearing our return to simping over Robert Pattinson and commentary on the amazing music choices and how NASTY pregnant Bella looks. Enjoy!

WELL WE MADE IT TO THE END OF THE BOOKS! LOOK AT US! From the Volturi non-fight to Alice's triumphant return and to their happily ever after, we arrive at the conclusion of a journey of years. But don't worry! We still have two more movies to get to!

On this penultimate episode of the book (That's right! Next episode will be the final three chapters!) Bella picks up some important paperwork from our boy J, and then THE GIRLIES ARE HERE. The Volturi are giving us everything, Caius is a little bitch and the guard dogs are out. Mostly they just talk though but Aro is thriving.

Covering chapters 33 and 34 of Breaking Dawn (how are we almost done?) we finally get to see what the hell J Jenks is all about. Bella survives her encounter in the "ghetto" and J sweats sweatily. Somehow we had the exact conversation LAST WEEK about something that happens in these chapters? I guess we're psychic!

Vampire Avengers Assemble! Today's episode is all our YA dreams with a cool team of hot vampires with special powers. Bella is special and talented and Stephenie Meyer does more racism! Are we even surprised at this point? No of course we aren't. Also why is all the best vampire world lore in the final 10 chapters of the final book?

Juicy plot in this episode! We read chapters 29 and 30 of Breaking Dawn and start unravelling what reason Alice might have had to leave the Cullens with no warning. Bella is... Smart? And now it is time for goo goo gaga special baby zone with Renesmee meeting the extended fam. What is up with her specialness and why does everyone love this little demon baby so much?

We cover chapters 27 and 28 today with such excitement of Alice breaking a vase and Em breaking a Cam. Jasper enjoys being happy :) After a timeskip of all the happy peaceful vampire times, shit hits the fan and Cam makes some predictions about what will happen next.

For chapters 25-26 of Breaking Dawn, Em and Cam dutifully and viciously rant and rave about Jacob making himself yet again a PROBLEM. Time to isekai in to kill this man and end all of our collective suffering. Take a drink every time Emmett makes a sex comment!

In this episode of Unbitten we cover chapters 23 and 24 of Breaking Dawn and really just rant almost the entire time. Listen. We're already tired of Jacob's claim over Renesmee and we just want Bella to hold her OWN DAMN BABY! And maybe??? Edward could too? For once, Bella's birthday goes well and she likes her present. All it took was some good sex. Also answer our fun little poll and we'll read your responses next time!

WE ARE BACK FOR THE NEW YEAR! In this episode we cover chapters 21 and 22 of Breaking Dawn. We are loving Bella's intro to vampirism! For once she is hot, she is free, she is completely right about everything always, we love to see it. Hating on Jacob is back in fashion again AND Cam gets to read top tier iconic line.

In this episode of Unbitten, Cameron and Emily lose their minds! Breaking Dawn chapters 19 and 20, back in Bella's head again and so many questions we want to ask. At least Bella is immediately horny again!

Chapter 18 of Breaking Dawn aka It's BABY TIME. The most horrific chapter yet, gore and blood and trauma all wrapped up in a little demon baby bundle. But most importantly, how do you milk a vampire?

WE'RE BACK AFTER A SHORT BREAK. Come on we're not actually ending the podcast early. In this episode of Unbitten we are covering chapters 16 and 17, in which Leah is amazing and we are absolutely shipping her with Jacob, then Edward hears baby thoughts and Jacob has to drive away to go be creepy in a park.

We cover chapters 14 and 15 of Breaking Dawn in this episode aka the Blonde Joke era. Jacob is a hilarious narrator actually, and Rosalie and Bella are delulu about this baby. Em is triggered about chromosomes again.

In this episode of Unbitten we cover chapters 12 and 13 of Breaking Dawn where we are so so so excited to have Leah join the pack. Justice for Leah Clearwater! Enjoy a rant about chromosomes, Bella getting her blood sippy on, and of course, every bit of Seth that we can get. Twitter: https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

In this episode of Unbitten, we cover chapters 10 and 11 of Breaking Dawn. In other words it's where things really start getting FUN! Jacob tries to convince Bella not to have her demon spawn, we ask logistical questions about vampires all raising a human baby if she were to have a normal baby instead, and then Jacob AND SETH LEAVE THE WOLF PACK. Look we just love Seth okay. Twitter: https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

In this episode we cover chapter 8 and 9 of Book 2 of Breaking Dawn. IT'S JACOB TIME. Where the chapter titles are finally interesting and you can feel the icky teen boy oozing off every thought in his head. We get a close up look with Quil hanging out with his child bride as well as Bella and her gross pregnancy.

In these final two chapters of Book 1 of Breaking Dawn, Cameron and Emily talk way too much about vomit on account of Bella's vomiting (sorry). We have some headboard breaking and some sex dream crying in these chapters, haven't we all been there before? If only those fade to blacks weren't so faded.

ITS THAT CHAPTER. Post sex sulking Edward. The bliss of Bella and the cringe of Edward. The mormon sex talks. One of those episodes where we really get into the religious bias in how they talk about sex.

Coming to you FROM THE SAME HOME it's us! In this very special episode, Cam travels all the way to visit Em, just to talk more about these silly books. Chapter 4 sees a happy Bella at her wedding, and an unhappy Jacob who proved once again he can't be trusted to be chill. It's sad, it's angering, and it's kind of sweet? Still confused that this book keeps managing to be decent (we have a low bar). Twitter: https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

Today we cover both chapter 2 and 3 of Breaking Dawn. The chapters in which Edward has to go to a bachelor party while Bella thinks about bloodthirsty vampire babies and has more incredibly specific dreams, and also in which Bella gets ready to be married and then does in fact get married. Cameron questions deeper about vampire biology, and Emily is here with very "helpful" answers. Readers and listeners alike want to know! How do those dicks work! Twitter: https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

WELCOME TO BREAKING DAWN. The beginning of the end of the saga. In this exciting episode we get into why... Stephenie Meyer wrote a good chapter for once? From discussions of Bella's absurd "before" car to excitement for that honeymoon, this episode sure is a ride. Thank you to our editor Edward's Hairball (aka Emily) Twitter: https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

It's FINALLY HEREE!!!! And it's a long one!! Join Cam, Em, AND a special hairball guest- our editor- for our Eclipse moie episode! We discuss editor Emily's husband's astute observations, new iconic scenes (bAtTLe sCaRs), Cam's new crush, and more! Thank you as always to our editor, Emily (Hairball!) Twitter: https://twitter.com/unbittenpod Patreon: https://patreon.com/unbittenpod

Cam and Em return once again for more Bree Tanner. We continue to discover how much better S Meyer is at writing shorter books, we begin to stan Fred, and, as always, we question our sanity. Thank you to our editor, Emily (Hairball)!! Twitter: https://twitter.com/unbittenpod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

In this episode we cover the first half of the Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. While questioning Stephenie Meyer's ability to write teenagers, we also sit in shock at how this book is somehow... BETTER? If only all her novels were forced to be novellas. Also vampire kissing is WEIRD!

Em and Cam are eternally relieved to finally finish another installment of The Twilight Saga! We wrap up this third book with the closest thing SM will get to spice, releasing Alice upon the world of wedding planning, and Jacob's most emo moment yet. Strap in, besties. Thanks to our editor Edward's Hairball for their help in making this podcast as unhinged as possible! https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

On this episode of Unbitten we discuss Chapter 26 of Eclipse. We are so very tired of Jacob and his manipulation and Bella and her guilt. In fact we seem to be pretty tired of this book now that the action is over as we kept trying to talk about anything OTHER than the book. Thanks to our editor Edward's Hairball as always for managing our chaos and adding their own chaos! https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

In a characteristically Stephanie Meyer moment, this book continues to place all its drama in the last 4 chapters. One of our favs (or least favs) is hurt, we get a visit from some old friends from last book, and we commit some arson. We also discuss the lack of proper stakes, Bella's fainting problem, and Victoria's overall plot. Plus, we get a sneak peek into what we'll be reading next!!

We are back at it again with more Eclipse! We get into the crazy stuff today, including a final confrontation with a long-established villain, Bella's main character syndrome, and... rocks.

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it's time to listen to an episode where everyone makes bad decisions! We get very angry at Bella and even more angry at Jacob. He really has the audacity. Timestamps for talking about suicide: 47:01 - 50:33 Thanks to our editor Edward's Hairball as always for managing our chaos and adding their own chaos! https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

After a bit of a break due to scheduling issues, Em and Cam return for chapter 22 of Eclipse! We discuss jealousy between bros, ponder Jacob's possible foot fetish and confirmed weird fantasies, and return to our roots by dunking on S Meyer's horrible writing abilities.

In chapter 21 of Eclipse, we are unhappy to report that Alice behaves badly with guilt tripping over the wedding. Edward takes Bella on a little walk through the woods while she wipes her hands on things and then her open wound on trees and stuff, how cute! Also Jacob is back with all his audacity and no one is happy about it! Thanks as always to our wonderful editor, Edward's Hairball. We love you! https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

Chapter 20 of Eclipse aka the sexy times chapter (almost) where things get as spicy as they can get for a Mormon-written novel. Truly some unhinged nonsense in this one besties we are just out here saying shit. Rip to Cam though she's cancelled so podcast over now I guess. We had a good run. Thanks as always to our wonderful editor, Edward's Hairball. We love you! https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

Hoo boy! The girls are back with more Twilight fun! Join us as we explore Bella and Edward making a compromise, the absolute DRAMA that is the wolf pack, and the potential for steamy times in a glass house.

Cam survived her illness so we're finally back with a new episode covering a fun chapter of vampire fighting tactics. Who knew Jasper would suddenly become relevant 3 books into the series and 75% through the book. Thanks as always to our wonderful editor, Edward's Hairball. We love you! https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

In chapter 17 of Eclipse we discuss the AUDACITY of Jacob to even show up to this party. Cam makes some more predictions regarding this vampire army. Stay tuned to the very very end of the episode for a delight to your ears. Edited by the wonderful Edward's Hairball, a patron and member of our discord server. https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

Starting off with a bang for chapter 16 which is funny to say for such an uninteresting chapter. We mostly complain about the pacing because who cares about graduation we certainly don't! However, very important comeback for our fave khaki skirt and we have to also commend Edward for continuing to improve as a person and we get another apology from him. Important plot information is revealed as Bella connects the dots we all connected like five chapters ago. Edited by the wonderful Edward's Hairball, a patron and member of our discord server. https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

Trigger warning: Talk of sexual assault throughout the episode. Join us in episode 55 of Unbitten: Jacob is the WORST aka CHEEKS OUT PISSIN! In this episode, we discuss just how horrid Jacob is in his attempts to win Bella, marvel at Edward's restraint, and take a stand against Charlie once and for all. Edited by the wonderful Edward's Hairball, a patron and member of our discord server.

For this week's episode we answer some patron AMAs, then try to dig into what is one of the worst chapters of the book so far because Stephenie Meyer can't write. Have we mentioned we don't think she can write? Enjoy such conversation discussions as how to break a femur, why can't vampires just drink blood bags, and how we feel about Jacob's confession at the end of the chapter. https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

Join Em and Cam as we explore Chapter 13 of Eclipse! In this episode, we explore Jasper's backstory, with all its weird and problematic twists and turns. Also, air conditioner troubles, googling Stephanie Meyer's place of birth, and more!

After a short break we are back and RECORDING IN THE SAME ROOM with live studio audience - Em's girlfriend (perhaps kidnapped and held hostage to finally listen to an episode). This episode covers chapter 12 of Eclipse in which we surprisingly see some good communication between Bella and Edward and Cameron makes some predictions on Jasper's backstory. We also happened to get a little tipsy, talk about sexual health (we aren't doctors!), and take a dive into the world of True Crime in the middle of the podcast! https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

This is the episode where we get all the old Quileute legends and how the werewolves came to be. More importantly though, this is the episode where S. Meyer's racism shows once again (yaaaay.....). Magical spirit warriors vs potato head vampires who will win? Also just a reminder once again THIS PODCAST IS EXPLICIT. What else can you do with dismembered cold vampire parts? If only this book wasn't written by a Mormon. Also don't forget gentle listeners, even vampire sex requires ongoing consent! https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

Welcome back to Unbitten! Join Em and Cam as they simp over Kristen Stewart, make fun of Bella for having no hobbies, and question how Jacob managed to stab himself with a knife.

After a break for ~Aries Season~ we are back with another episode covering Chapter 9 of Eclipse. In this episode we discuss how Charlie is losing his status as one of our faves and his learned helplessness in taking care of the house. Cam make's some predictions about who snuck into Bella's room and then we revel in how amazing it has been to see some actual positive character development in Edward. Also Jacob apologizes! https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod

In this episode of Unbitten, we get the fun (discomfort) of discussing imprinting in more depth because the Quil and Claire thing happened. It's grooming, people! Lock these dogs up we say! We also see the end of Cam's Team Jacob allegiance as he says some pretty awful things out of jealousy and hatred. This chapter is so juicy guys. Horny? In my mormon vampire series? It's more likely than you think! We get men apologizing, we get making out, we get Edward character development. Wow.

Today we cover a heavy but interesting chapter! TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual assault, physical violence, r*pe -- time stamps: 22:15-30:00. Em and Cam discuss Rosalie's tragic backstory and badass revenge, Cam's drunken adventures, and weird sexist author moments. A classic twilight chapter.....

In this episode of Unbitten Cam and Em talk romance and dating advice vis a vis blood pendants. Also, once again, who is Austin? It's no surprise we're mad at Edward this chapter but we feel the Alice betrayal big time, and oops we talk about piss again sorry xoxo enjoy. Of course we also discuss the SEXY BED.

In this episode, Em and Cam discuss chapter five of Eclipse, which includes some CRAZY new lore, a wild Sam x Emily origin story, and another Bella temper tantrum. Also, we answer patron AMAs, discuss the weird sexualization of female animals in animated movies, and talk about our old lady joints, despite both of us being in our 20s.