Fun Box Monster Podcast

You think you have problems...this family has to live with Alan Thicke! If that isn't bad enough, all the good comics about Trepopkins are $500. Matt and Tristan talk about Stepmonster,  the best movie that Amy Dolenz made that year. Probably. 

In the third installment of the Poltergeist series, we're going to double down on the mistakes made in the second one and make them even bigger and more confusing. Are there moments of magical brilliance? Totally. Are there big swaths of walking up stairways and calling out someone's name like a lesser 70's Hammer movie? You betcha.  Matt and Tristan talk Poltergeist 3.

In the original Poltergeist a happy likable family, through no fault of their own, become the victims of a malevolent spectral force. In part two, the spectral force is there, but the happy likable family...is not quite as happy or likable. By adding too much Amityville and Shining to the mix, plus a tiny dash of xenophobia it misses the mark a bit. But there's still a lot to like about it. Matt and Tristan talk Poltergeist 2 : The Other Side. 

There's like a troll or something? I guess his name is Grim or maybe not. There's some caves. People walk a whole bunch. I guess there's a talisman that does something, but they lose it. Sometimes people's eyes go red.  Matt and Tristan talk about it for some reason. 

My toxic trait is that I would totally sign up for the lot 6 tests, even after that dude clawed his eyes out.  Join Matt and Tristan for the closest thing we got to an X-Men movie in the eighties, Firestarter. 

Ok. Big old trigger warning. If there's a thing that bothers you to hear discussed even in less than graphic detail (SA, animal deaths) this might not be the one for you. This is a pretty mean movie in places, and pretty incomprehensible in places so be forewarned. That said, on the good side it's a very impressive low budget movie that did a whole lot with not much. On the bad side, some of the not much was comprehensible dialogue and character motivation.  Matt and Tristan talk about the biggest little melt movie ever, The Carrier. 

Without a doubt, this is the best movie ever to feature James Earl Jones wearing a Locust mascot costume. 

This movie is a case study in how a generic title combined with a bad poster can sink even the best of movies into obscurity. How this thing isn't talked about CONSTANTLY is a downright tragedy. 

Turns out that the real Curse was the movie we all watched together. 

A special Valentine's Day episode! 

Remember telephones? Well, if you do, there were these numbers you could call for psychics, sex talk, or drunken Santas. As it turns out, like the majority of capitalist enterprises, they were run by the devil. Join Matt and Tristan for the eighties best phone-based-satan movie, 976-Evil. 

Crime is the disease, he's the cure. He's going to inoculate society with a vaccine made of bullets. He's putting a cast on society's broken leg. A cast of punching. He's going to treat society's plantar fasciitis by pouring gas on it and setting it on fire. Matt and Tristan watch the Cannon films masterpiece, Cobra. 

In a town where lawnmowers are outlawed, one outlaw rises to cut lawns to a uniform height. Matt and Tristan talk about Lawnmower man. 

In this Stephen King classic, several terrible Maine accents battle for supremacy in a mill full of rats. 

Evil Dead wind travels from Africa to Florida (Actually still Africa) to pop the heads off some folks who are just trying to enjoy their Voodoo in peace. Also, a guy is going through a divorce. Surprisingly more is said about that than the head popping. 

Not to crib a more successful podcast's thing, but I honestly can't figure out how this got made. I don't hate it, but it is so deeply weird, and I believe there are no more than 2 actual professional actors in it. Also it has better SFX than movies with fifty million dollar budgets. Truly inexplicable, but worth checking out. 

I only have one major problem with Ghoulies 4. There aren't even four Ghoulies. Haters will say there aren't even two Ghoulies, and that two actors in halloween masks don't count as little rubber monsters, but that isn't for me to say. Matt and Tristan discuss Ghoulies 4. 

Everybody wants to see Phil Fondacaro turned into a Ghoulie, and there's no other movie where you can see it. 

Everybody shut up. Tina is a treasure. How dare you all. Matt and Tristan talk about the best/worst entry in the Halloween franchise. 

The story of a Were-cat and her son, and nothing else super creepy or off-putting. 

The classic story of a cursed item shop where the proprietor doesn't want to sell items, shouldn't sell items, and does anyway, then gets mad that you bought them. It's probably a metaphor for capitalism somehow, but I haven't quite figured it out yet. 

There's definitely a house. As to fun...We leave that up to you. 

He who walks behind the rows has gotten a hip 90's makeover. Oaklies, Bugle Boys, the whole deal. Three times the corn...three times the terror. Or something. 

More like...Unwatchable...amirite? Yeah. The episode is at about that level too. Sorry. I'm on vacation next week, and really phoned it in. Also, this movie is kinda rough. 

In the tradition of 2001 A Space Odyssey, 2,000 BC, and 2000 Flushes toilet cleaner, comes Dracula 2000. The story of several regrettable haircuts, and some sort of vampire or something. 

The king will be praised. Hell will be raised. Suckers will try to phase him. But Pinhead won't be phased. (In space)

We thought we deserved a little treat, so this week we talk about one of our all time faves, Child's Play. 

The second best revenge story involving a Wraith. 

Of all the adaptations of Giuseppe Verdi's La Traviata, this one was the most confusing. 

If you need a film to teach someone a lesson about the dangers of arming chimps with straight razors, this one will do it. 

You're never gonna guess what happens in this one. 

Nightmare Weekend is one of the most inscrutable movies I've ever seen. The only part I really get is where a hand puppet from a church basement religious show is killing people with little grey balls. Everything after that got really weird. 

Boy, he sure does run. 

One thing I can say about this movie with absolute certainty is that it was shot in Buffalo. As a bonus, the creature clearly cast a shadow when exposed to a light source. Truth in advertising indeed. 

You think your cat has killer hairballs? Ha! I mean seriously folks. I've heard of a hat-on-a-hat, but a cat-in-a-cat? You guys are great. Anyway, what else is in the news... Um, have you heard about this? This cat has poison spit, and can contaminate your entire food supply. What is this Chipotle? Thank you, you guys have been great that's my time. Remember to spay and neuter your pets. 

Not all landlords are vicious child stealing cannibals. However...

Thrill me. 

We finally messed around and upset the head. Now we are dead. 

First off, if nobody won a graphic design award for this logo, there is no justice. Next, jinkies. This movie is a whole lotta wacky. 

Somehow this science fiction version of the Omen, featuring Tolkienesque levels of backstory about a girl being chased by space gods/police, infiltrating the world government and the perils of basketball team ownership was a little too confusing for the unhip audiences of 1979, but luckily we've evolved since then. 

On this week's episode, we talk about the Irish Anti-Defamation league's favorite film, Leprechaun. 

In a twist that I can't imagine anyone expecting, the Maniac Cop series veers into a Voodoo Bride of Frankenstein story where a Houngun priest stabs severed heads, makes human turduckens, and worships anti-justice by bringing back Maniac Cop for the purposes of... getting justice?  Your guess is as good as mine. 

Our series of Cops & Crooks continues with Beyond Reanimator. It takes place in a prison so it counts. 

Maniac Cop 2 is basically a buddy cop movie with two serial killers. It's kinda weird. 

Yeah...but like...what if Nightmare on Elm Street was...like, bad? 

He's a Maniac on the dance floor. Is he dancing like he never danced before? Tune in to find out! 

This movie is why I will never have kids. 

To celebrate the re-release of Tristan's superhero horror comic Rad Wraith  (Rad Wraith Double Feature #1 out in better comic stores everywhere) we're talking about the best superhero horror movie of all time, Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors. 

Canada owes me an apology. If you were looking for an even lower budget version of a knockoff Puppetmaster movie... look no further. 

I think the title really says it all. It's a sequel to The Howling, and someone's sister is a werewolf. Also, the movie is a hot mess and really fun. 

Ghosthouse is a goddamn delight. I don't know what else to say. Everyone needs to see it or they won't believe that it is real.