Gray Area Stories

Erica and Johanna lay down on the floor with content creator Anna Akana to discuss changing the narrative of sexual violence and allyship. How do we approach a world without rape culture? By holding each other accountable - which is uncomfortable work! Lean into the discomfort with us!  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  Follow @annaakana on Instagram Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Sarah Kaplan Produced by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter Show logo by Brianna Guerra

Erica and Johanna are joined by special guest EbonyJanice for a party of passion and pleasure. From using vibrators that suck (in a good way!) to feeling all of our feelings, how do we connect to our embodied sensuality after sexual trauma? EbonyJanice discusses strategies for loving ourselves out of shame.  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  EbonyJanice is a hip hop womanist, scholar, and a black girl dream expert.  Follow EbonyJanice at @ebonyjanice on Instagram Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Created and hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Produced by Erica M. Hart Edited by Sarah Kaplan Theme Song by Nailah Hunter Show logo by Brianna Guerra

In this episode, we discuss the way in which sharing our stories of sexual assault can help us to acknowledge our trauamas. Is there a difference between sexual assault and sexual trauma? Why do we blame ourselves for sexual violence that doesn't feel “bad enough”? Grab a cup of tea or some Halloween candy and join our conversation! [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  Tess is a Filipino-American actor, writer, producer, rollerskater, and horror film fanatic. Follow Tess at @tesssbartholomew on Instagram Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Created and hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Sarah Kaplan Produced by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter Show logo by Brianna Guerra

Take a deep breath and join us as we explore the authority of our voices and the power of claiming and shaping our stories with Thea Monyeé. How can we practice trusting our instincts as survivors when those around us wish to place our stories in their own containers?  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe. Thea Monyeé is a licensed therapist and Oya priestess in the Ifa tradition, committed to creating healing opportunities to Black/Marginalized bodies through the decolonization of joy, mental health, and pleasure. Follow @theamonyee on Instagram Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Maya Bingham Produced by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter Show logo by Brianna Guerra

  Join us for our first ever Joy Episode - a series of episodes all about cultivating joy! Erica and Johanna sit down with a super special guest, Johanna's sister and all-around magical human, Nailah Middleton-Haynes aka Nailah Hunter!!! Nailah takes us through her joyful morning - dropping into a flow state while practicing music and choosing stillness.  Nailah Hunter is an experimental sound artist from Los Angeles. She combines harp, synth, found sounds, and voice to create reflective sonic landscapes. Follow @nailah.hunter on Instagram for more information. Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter Show logo by Brianna Guerra

This week Johanna and Erica welcome survivor guest Vilna Bashi to share her stories. They discuss the inadequate, or, as Vilna puts it, the “horrible and stupid-ass” terms used to describe acts of sexual violence.  Later, Vilna helps us dive into visioning a world where all people can walk safely and proudly, with their chests held high. Join us by dunking your feet in some water while we honor Vilna's story. [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  Survivor Vilna Bashi is (in no particular order) a professor, sociologist, slooow writer, painter, Mama, gluten free baker, seamstress, nerd. Follow Vilna @vtreitler in Twitter, and @vilnabashi on Instagram Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Created and hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Produced by Erica M. Hart Edited by Maya Bingham Theme Song by Nailah Hunter Show logo by Brianna Guerra

Erica and Johanna reflect on a listener-submitted story from Michelle, leading to a very “gray area” conversation. This week's Blanket Burrito is any small object you can fiddle with in your hands. ! So grab something petite and prepare for dialogue about reporting sexual assault and also reacting to an extraterrestrial if they moved in next door. [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Created and hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter Show logo by Brianna Guerra If you would like to submit a listener story, there are three ways to do it. -Email us at GrayAreaStories@gmail.com -Leave us a voicemail at 213.340.6245 -Fill out the story submission form at grayareastories.com

Erica and Johanna are pleased to welcome survivor guest Candace Nicholas-Lippman. Light a strawberry shortcake-scented candle and join us as we witness Candace's truth and discuss the magical qualities of journaling.  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  Survivor Candace Nicholas-Lippman is an artist, actress, and spoken-word poet. She stars as Janelle in the STARZ series Blindspotting. She is the author of the three-part series Purpose in Poetry and the creator of the one-woman show A Rose Called Candace.  Follow Candace at @candace.nicholas.lippman on Instagram Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Created and hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Maya Bingham Produced by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter Show logo by Brianna Guerra

At long last, Johanna and Erica are back, and this time, there's SEASONS! Join them as they remember the summer (all things Travis Barker) and introduce the upcoming JOY SERIES (as well as introducing Johanna's NEW DOG!!!!) Welcome to Season 2, friends!  Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter Show logo by Brianna Guerra

With tears and laughter, Joh and Erica discuss grief and the loss of a dear friend as well as the excitement of an upcoming wedding! This week’s listener submission story comes from Tara who says “when thinking about what story to share, my first thought was ‘which one should I share?’” Tara’s story reflects the healing aspect of sharing your story in a safe container to a trusted person when you’re ready. [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe. This episode includes additional discussion around grief and death.  Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter

This week, Johanna and Erica reflect on their motivation to do this work and their strategically joy-filled process of collectively visioning a future beyond r*pe culture. Join them as they explore how we can mine the expertise of our own stories for healing wisdom and as they investigate the cat call in the time of Covid. [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter

Tune in for this bonus episode which first aired on KPFA as part of the KPFA International Women's Day programming. Join us as Johanna shares her saga of waiting for a new vibrator to be delivered and Erica shares her joy in getting in touch with her body. This episode contains our interview with Kyra Jones from Episode 6.  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe. In this episode, Kyra’s story includes instances of r*pe as well as mentions of harm done to additional survivors. In this episode, we speak to survivor Kyra Jones who compares her contrasting experiences following reporting two sexual assaults - one through the carceral system and one through a restorative justice (RJ) process. Kyra takes us through the steps of both processes including the very public RJ process she underwent with her rapist Malcolm London, facilitated by prolific activist and organizer Mariame Kaba.  Survivor Kyra Jones is a Black queer multidisciplinary filmmaker, sex educator, and survivor advocate. Find her on IG @kyra.a.jones and Twitter @blkassfeminist Follow us @grayareastories Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter Additional editing by Maya Bingham

Johanna and Erica are back in 2021 and thrilled to welcome survivor Desdemona Dallas. Sip on some tea while listening to Dallas’ journey of recognizing their trauma and reclaiming their survivor story. [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  Dallas details how returning to the place where harm was done was the turning point in identifying the trauma they experienced. This turning point was the start of Dallas’ healing journey and their long effort to advocate for themselves and advocate for their case within the NYPD. According to Dallas, through sharing their story with others “I found community around a shared sense of harm and the equally powerful shared desire for healing.”  Survivor Desdemona Dallas is a photographer, filmmaker and advocate. Desdemona is the creator of Survivor’s Toolbox which uses various media to bring education and resources to survivors. Desdemona hopes that in the long term through helping victims, Survivor’s Toolbox can help survivors and advocates lean into a society where empowerment informs futures, instead of trauma.  Follow @survivorstoolbox on Instagram and visit https://survivorstoolbox.org/ for more information. Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Additional editing support by Maya Bingham Production Assistance by Ashley Nicole Adams Theme Song by Nailah Hunter

This week, Johanna and Erica reflect on what they’ve learned about themselves and this podcast in 2020, while looking ahead to continued co-creation of this healing space with you (our listeners!) in 2021. Please visit the website to find our end-of-year survey and share how you’ve felt while listening to Gray Area Stories. We value your ideas and your stories! Happy New Year, listeners, and see you in 2021! [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter

Join Erica and Johanna for this week’s listener story, coming in from Carissa of Los Angeles, CA. Carissa says, “Sharing this story is difficult and so is liberation.” E & J also discuss their experiences in their bodies during this tumultuous 2020 including Erica’s experience with pregnancy loss. [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe. This episode includes additional discussion around pregnancy loss and eating disorder recovery.  Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter

This week E+J sit down with Nicole Snell to talk about her experience with street harassment and her journey becoming a self-defense instructor and skilled solo adventurer.  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  Nik describes starting on her journey of self-defense after play-wrestling with a partner and realizing when pinned to the floor, she wouldn’t know how to keep herself safe if it were real. That realization led her to immersion in self-defense. Nik also shares her love of the outdoors and how empowering it is to feel confident hiking and adventuring without having to rely on anyone else. Survivor Nicole is the CEO of Girls Fight Back and is an International Speaker and self-defense instructor. Follow her at @adventuresofnik and @girlsfightback. Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Production Assistance by Ashley Nicole Adams Theme Song by Nailah Hunter

Join Erica and Johanna in discussion this week with survivor Aaron Ricciardi who shares his survivor story in the form of a crown of sonnets detailing the many years of abuse he survived at the hands of his drama teacher. Aaron speaks on the power of being ruthlessly honest, naming his abuser, and saying ‘Enough!’ As a male survivor, Aaron sheds light on how boys and men are at risk for abuse and assault.  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe. In this episode, Aaron’s story includes pedophilia, childhood and adolescent sexual abuse, and an inappropriate teacher-student relationship. The story is told between the 20 and 31 minute mark but is referred to throughout the episode.   In a powerful example of a healing journey, Aaron is now an instructor himself. He shares with us not only his love of teaching but also his passion for rewatching award show acceptance speeches and making homemade ice cream. Aaron is a writer and performer. He makes plays, musicals, and is flirting with TV. Aaron graduated from the Theatre program at Northwestern University, where he studied playwriting under Laura Schellhardt, and he received his MFA in Playwriting from Indiana University, where he studied under Peter Gil-Sheridan. Aaron is currently on faculty at SUNY New Paltz in their Creative Writing Program. Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Additional editing support by Maya Bingham Production Assistance by Ashley Nicole Adams Theme Song by Nailah Hunter

This week Johanna and Erica check-in around the topic of r*pe culture and its effect on their understanding of romantic relationships. E+J find they have very opposite early understandings of romance and dating but unite in the fact that r*pe culture has affected these views, with neither approach being immune from or victorious against the patriarchy. [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter

This week’s listener story comes from Abi from Tucson, AZ who shared her very poignant observations on intergenerational trauma and boundary setting. [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe. In this episode, Abi’s story includes instances of partner assault. The story is told between the 6 minute and 8 minute mark but is referred back to throughout the episode. Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter

Johanna and Erica are joined by Malika Williams who shares her story of a harrowing ride with a tow-truck driver and takes listeners through the BREATHE method, a helpful framework for processing trauma.  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  According to Malika, she created the BREATHE method to be a “series of steps for processing microaggressions, ‘Me Too’ moments, and misunderstandings--when something happens to you that’s out of your control and you need to figure out how to deal with it. Instead of suppressing whatever emotions come up or minimizing or feeling like you need to be everyone’s teacher, you can really take care of yourself first.” Download the BREATHE method PDF at cwvbreathe.com Malika Williams is the Founder of The Center for Women’s Voice. She is a coach, writer, and actor. You can find her @centerforwomensvoice on IG and FB and centerforwomensvoice.com Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Maya Bingham Additional editing support by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter

This week E+J sit down with Natalie Lima as they discuss the many “jobs” it feels young girls are assigned in an effort to keep themselves safe.  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe. In this episode, Natalie’s story includes instances of sexual manipulation and coercion as well as mentions of rape. The stories are told between the 18 minute and 34 minute mark but are referred back to throughout the episode.  Natalie talks through her childhood and teen years in her creative nonfiction essays, which dive into different forms of sexual coercion and manipulation. She shares how creative writing, discovering her boundaries, and becoming sober have all contributed to her healing journey.   Survivor Natalie Lima is a writer and teacher. Find her on IG and Twitter @natalielima09 and read more of her writing at natalielima.com/ Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter

Johanna and Erica snack on some fruit while speaking with survivor Kyra Jones who shares her experience participating in a restorative justice process with Malcolm London, the man who r*ped her. Kyra takes us through her contrasting experiences following reporting sexual assault -- one in the carceral system and one a restorative justice process --and how she's practicing releasing responsibility. [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe. In this episode, Kyra’s story includes instances of r*pe as well as mentions of harm done to additional survivors. The story is told between the 14 minute and 36 minute mark but is referred back to throughout the episode. This episode was recorded in July of 2020. Kyra requested an update to address recent events regarding Malcolm London, which you will hear at the end of the episode.  Survivor Kyra Jones is a Black queer multidisciplinary filmmaker, sex educator, and survivor advocate. Find her on IG @kyra.a.jones and Twitter @blkassfeminist Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Theme Song by Nailah Hunter Additional editing by Maya Bingham

Check in with Johanna and Erica as they discuss their own journey of identifying as survivors of sexual assault. Hear from J+E about their fears (cockroaches and big ocean waves), and Johanna’s new post-it note slogan “I’m doing it afraid.” And hear the brand new Gray Area Stories theme song by Nailah Hunter! [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton @johannaoflala and Erica M. Hart  @ericamichelle.jpg Edited by Erica M. Hart  Theme song by Nailah Hunter @nailah.hunter

This week's listener story comes from Marissa who describes how a sign in a bathroom stall impacted her experience with assault.  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe. In this episode, Marissa's story includes sexual assault at a party. The story is told between the 2 minute and 4 minute mark but is referred back to throughout the episode.  Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart

Light a crackling wood wicked candle and join Erica and Johanna in conversation with guest Rebecca Ume Crook, joining all the way from Nairobi, Kenya. [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe. In this episode, Rebecca's story includes partner r*pe and other acts of sexual assault. The story is told between the 15 minute and 22 minute mark but is referred back to throughout the episode.] Rebecca describes her journey of knowing her own truth--from feeling pride in the creation of her photography work to unpacking the narrative she had been telling herself regarding the partner r*pe she survived. As a self-described learner and leader, she calls for more spaces for us all to practice how we ask permission.   Survivor Rebecca Ume Crook is an educator, a faciliator, and a photographer. She runs Metis, a nonprofit in Kenya dedicated to building local leadership and innovation to transform education. Find her on IG @stickylittleleaves Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Additional editing by Maya Bingham

This week Erica and Joh speak with Katie O'Brien as she shares her survivor story and her journey to becoming more vulnerable. After a suggestion from her therapist, Katie challenged herself to be more honest when expressing her emotions, combatting the shame she felt when being vulnerable. Katie speaks to the surprising friendships and opportunities she's experienced since becoming more vulnerable. And how she's learned to listen to her inner "ping."  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe. In this episode, Katie's story includes a man exposing himself in public and being hired for an event wherein her boundaries were crossed. The story is told between the 10 minute and 22 minute mark but is referred back to throughout the episode. Survivor Katie O'Brien is an actor, writer, and Executive Producer of Teachers on Paramount Network. Find her on IG @katieclaireobrien Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart

Join Johanna and Erica in conversation with Yasi Aker as she shares how radical acceptance and feeling her feelings has shaped her survivor journey. After a nervous breakdown years ago, Yasi went on a journey--a trip to the Vatican, getting baptized, an Ayahuasca ceremony, becoming a Buddhist--and she describes this as a journey "back to health rather than healing."  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe. In this episode, Yasi's story includes sexual abuse as a child, r*pe in teenaged years, and drug-facilitated r*pe. The story is told between the 14 minute and 25 minute mark but is referred back to throughout the episode. Survivor Yasi Aker is a storyteller, singer-songwriter, filmmaker, and teacher. Find her on IG @iamyasi Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart Additional editing by Maya Bingham

Erica and Johanna check-in around their definitions of the "gray area" and their goals for the podcast moving forward.  [Content Warning]: This is a podcast where survivors share stories of sexual assault, sexual violence, and r*pe.  Follow us @grayareastories and visit www.grayareastories.com Hosted by Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart Edited by Erica M. Hart

Get to know hosts Johanna Middleton and Erica M. Hart as they discuss their upcoming podcast, Gray Area Stories, and what the "gray area" means to them.