Robots Into Guys

Have you ever dreamed of an underwater world populated exclusively by tiny green bearded menfolk? Have you ever had graphic sexual fantasies about these miniature emerald-hued hirsute hunks? If you have, you're not alone, and you'll probably really jive with what happens in the Transformers episode that gets discussed here. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew plunders the depths of the ocean for information about Megatron's latest short-lived ally, the pint-sized Nergill. David explains why he believes Spike and Bumblebee are Truly Lovers, Jordan brings up how theory about why the Dino-Bots are so darn tough to discuss, and Gege reminds us all that #AllBodiesCanBeHunky. If you've ever wanted to know which Transformers-themed tattoos the gang would get, listen now and find out! Please follow the podcast's official Instagram account @RobotsIntoGuys to learn more about what we do and what we stand for. If you've got thoughts on the show, share them in a review on the podcast app of your choosing. If you feel like subscribing, that's even better. Many thanks to all of you for listening!!

Rejoice, for all three of your beloved podcast hosts are in full effect once more! And just in time to tackle a G1 episode that deals with one seriously messy love triangle. Three's company over here, and four's a crowd. On this episode of Robots Into Guys, things get switched up a little, as David and Gege actually find themselves enjoying a story about Megatron's kinky LARPing adventures, while the only thing Jordan relates to is the Decepticon leader's inability to remember the names of most of the Autobots. Gege envisions a world where Megatron and Starscream are hot tub streamers, David validates Megatron's one true love, that being the theatre, and everyone picks a side in the battle between the Chad Laserbeak and the Incel Starscream. Follow the podcast on IG @RobotsIntoGuys to get the latest updates on our release schedule. If you have as much fun listening to the show as we do recording, consider subscribing and giving us a five-star review on the podcast app of your choice. See you in the next episode, y'all!

In the words of vaunted rock musician Meat Loaf, “Two out of three ain't bad.” By that I mean, this episode of Robots Into Guys featuring a mere two out of three hosts isn't the worst thing you'll hear this month. We promise you that, at least. On this bonus episode, David and Jordan take a break from Transformers, but wind up kicking themselves for it because GoBots, the Tonka-branded Transformers imitation they subjected themselves to, is somehow way worse! Their review of the second GoBots movie, Battle of the Rock Lords, culminates in a development meeting for a potential GoBots prequel series for Netflix that features themes of unrequited gay love (of course) and the voices of most of the main cast of Frasier. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled coverage of Transformers Generation 1 next month. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you know when new episodes come out and give it a glowing review in the app of your choice. Follow the show @RobotsIntoGuys on IG to tell us how pretty we are, despite being prisoners of an audio medium. Happy Pride Month!!

Contrary to common knowledge, bigger is not always better. Sometimes that can be learned the easy way, and other times, you get suckered into watching the exploits of a tiny, grumpy robot and wind up rooting for the little blighter. It could happen to you, and if certainly happened to us this go around. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew continues to decipher Transformers anatomy and discusses the species’ limited capacity for autonomous expression. Along the way, David gets gold fever, Gege hankers for hard candy and Jordan learns what kidneys do. Plus, hear the world premiere of Gege’s new hit single, “(We’re Building a) Bridge to Africa!”  We’ll be back next month with our continuing coverage of Transformers G1, so make sure you keep up with the podcast by following us on Instagram @RobotsIntoGuys. If you love what you hear, tell us by leaving a five-star review on the podcast app of your choosing. Thank you!!

We like to have fun here, and we keep ourselves busy talking about boys, boys, boys, but we regret to inform you that, contrary to what others may say, dudes do not in fact rock. We have come to this conclusion after watching “Enter the Nightbird,” which is a big ol’ steaming pile of YIKES. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew says hello and also goodbye to Nightbird, a sword-wielding QUEEN who kicks a ton of ass and deserves so much better. Gege gets into the nitty-gritty in a discussion of robot anatomy, David divulges some lore about the secret bond between Bombshell and Skywarp, and Jordan does his best to analyze how Megatron sees women. The gang also spots a new couple to keep tabs on in the form of Bluestreak and Optimus A.K.A. “BlueTimus.” Yes, we know we could do better. (CW: Discussion of domestic abuse) New episodes of Robots Into Guys come out on a monthly basis, so if you want to know what the crew’s up to, be sure to follow the official Instagram @RobotsIntoGuys. Send us your reviews too, via the podcast app of your choosing. Thanks a million!!

Every once in a while, a moment happens in this horrid little show that makes all the critical analysis seem worth it. We are delighted to declare that we have encountered one of those shining moments. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew re-opens their file on the OptiTron ship, although this time around, they're looking at how Starscream fits into it all. David brings a picture of young Optimus Prime A.K.A. Orion Pax to show and tell, Gege claims that Cliffjumper and Starscream call each other "poppa," and Jordan somehow find the time to get inordinately mad at Dick Wolf and Counting Crows. The gang also has a whale of a time dissecting the final twenty seconds of the episode which give them hope for the future of their illustrious podcast. New episodes of Robots Into Guys arrive on a monthly basis, so be sure to follow the show on Instagram @RobotsIntoGuys for the latest and greatest in gay robot content. We'd also appreciate five-star reviews, which we promise to read on the show. Thank you!!

The gang rings in the New Year as only they could, by recording their funniest and worst episode so far. No one is safe. Run while you can. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew tries to cover the second half of the Dino-Bot Island arc, but winds up discussing the show’s many blandly hot humans instead. David dreams up a date night farce starring Beachcomber, Perceptor and Chip Chase, Boy Genius, Gege threatens to put Peppa Pig behind bars once and for all, and Jordan asks the all-important question, ‘Who CAN’T fly?’ All this, plus David introduces a brand-new segment called “W.T.T.F.” where Jordan is forced to guess the ways in which various robot toys transform. Does that sound fun to you? Then listen to this episode! We’ll do our best to post episodes in the new year whenever we can. Show your support for the show by leaving your five-star reviews in the podcast app of your choice. Follow the show @RobotsIntoGuys to stay abreast of the newest and best in gay robot programming. Thank you!!

The self-proclaimed Archaeologists of Sexy are back once again for some podcast content you’ll really dig. That’s right, Uncle Dennis. It’s a Dino-Bots episode, and the first half of a two-parter, at that. We love to hate the Dino-Bots, and we really give it to ‘em in this one. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew realized that there wasn’t a whole lot of gay stuff to get into, so instead, they got to learn where oil comes from, and now you can too. David pitches the Dino-Bots as a hot new boy band, Gege wonders what Grimlock’s gonna do with all that ass, and Jordan defies all expectations with his Autocrush of the Week. Also, the crew births a new segment called “Written in the Starscream.” If you believe in astrology, this one’s for you. We’ll be back in two weeks with the second part of the Dino-Bot saga. Proceed with caution, and be sure to give us a five-star review on the podcast all of your choosing. Follow the crew @RobotsIntoGuys on IG to keep up with all the goings-on. Thank you for your support!!

We’re back! And just like a dinosaur’s story, we’re keeping it timeless. Our G1 Season 2 coverage begins here. No turning back now! Did you just think of turning back? Good, just checking. In their Season 2 premiere, the R.I.G. crew tries to make peace with the first major female speaking role in Generation 1. David learns what M.I.T. stands for, Gege debuts their top-notch Megatron impersonation and Jordan gets unreasonably mad that Jazz doesn’t play jazz. Also, don’t miss out on the funniest Dumb Notes With David to date. Seriously. We’ll be back in 2 weeks with the next installment in our S2 coverage. Be sure to leave a 5-star review for us and stay aware of everything R.I.G. by following the show on IG @RobotsIntoGuys.

Jordan’s taking a sabbatical to recharge, so David and Gege met up with avid Transformers fan and comic artist Chester Perkins (@fawnprinceling on IG) to chat about 2020’s Transformers: War for Cybertron - Chapter 1: Siege, A Netflix Original Anime. On this special bonus episode, Gege gets stressed out by angsty jock Bumblebee, David picks up on some sexual tension with somehow every character pairing, and Chester drops mad IDW knowledge about the Golden Age of buff Elita-1. Most importantly, there is a distinct lack of transforming in this one, and everyone is understandably UPSET. Please be sure to follow Chester at @fawnprinceling on Instagram, because they were so nice to record this one with David and Gege. We’ll be back with another special episode soon in preparation for Season 2 of G1, so stay updated by following us on Instagram at @RobotsIntoGuys. Please leave your 5-star reviews on the podcast app of your choice, and stay safe. Thank you!!

The Season 1 finale of Transformers Generation 1 was filled with tears, shocking reveals and heartbreaking drama. JK, it was just about some fucking trucks. On the final episode of the first season, the R.I.G. crew closes the book on OptiTron. There’s just too much work they need to do on themselves, y’know? David outlines a theory about the names of the Constructicons, Jordan turns a specific animation error into a new area of begrudging affection, and Gege reminisces about a paleontology birthday party. This is all without mentioning the greatest instance of synchronicity between real-life partners David and Gege. It has to be heard to be believed. We’re planning a special one-off to celebrate the completion of Season 1, and it’ll take a little more work than usual, so make sure you follow @RobotsIntoGuys on Instagram for all the updates on that unique project. As always, leave us a 5-star review on the podcast app of your choice. Thanks!!

The penultimate episode of Season 1 is the first one without Starscream, which may be why we don’t have that much to talk about with this one. Bring our bratty boy back home. I mean, Optimus Prime threw a boat-ass boat at Megatron near the end. That was kind of rad. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew drops everything for an ending-stage Bachelor scenario starring everyone’s favorite winged mensch, Skyfire, and mull over the chosen family imagery surrounding the Autobot clan. David forgets Eric Idle’s name and laughs at dad jokes, Jordan pitches a new meme format, Gege rushes to Rumble’s defense, and much, much more. Well, not that much more, but that ought to be enough. Greedy. We’ll be back in 2 weeks with the Season 1 finale of our Gen 1 coverage. Please be sure to follow the podcast over on IG @RobotsIntoGuys and leave your five-star reviews on the podcast app of your choice. Thanks!!

Y’all, I know we usually get pretty wild on this show, but I’m telling you right now, this one is supremely messy from beginning to end. We’re approaching the end of the first season of G1, and it’s wearing on us. Our collective sanity is dwindling. Send help. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew muses on the flirty fights of Optimus and Megatron, and explains why Starscream would have made a horrible co-worker to Jetfire. Jordan unveils a new segment inspired by CW primetime soaps, David gets in his Virgo feelings, and Gege has a sudden change of heart when confronted with the new and improved Dr. Archeville. We’ll be back in 2 weeks with another episode. In the meantime, remember to follow the R.I.G. crew on Instagram @RobotsIntoGuys and leave us a 5-star review on your podcast app of choice. Thanks!!

Once again, we find ourselves at the end of an arc, and this one was fairly painless. This episode has everything: extreme sports action, intergenerational reconciliation, mutiny... You’ll love it. Bring the whole family. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew wraps up their analysis of the brainwashing allegory and attempts to suss out Megatron’s “type.” David explains why Reflector is a great therapist, Jordan finally comes around to appreciating Ironhide and Gege pulls back the curtain and reveals the true purpose of the podcast. All this, and the sordid story of a cyborg OC that will leave you on the edge of your seat. We’ll be back in 2 weeks with another episode. So close to finishing Season 1. Let’s do this. Make sure to follow the crew @RobotsIntoGuys on IG and leave a 5-star review on the podcast app of your choice. Thank you!!

Not gonna lie, this is probably our messiest episode yet. We didn’t have a whole lot to talk about in this one (thanks, Dino-Bots), so we turned on each other. It’s Part 2 of this arc, and we’re already getting sick of Spike moping around. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew finally unanimously agrees on something. (Hint: It has to do with Jetfire and how much of a good boy he is.) David discusses the nihilism of the Dino-Bots, Jordan obsesses over a choice music cue and Gege explains why they ship Bumblebee and Spike. Also, the crew somehow discusses the Teen Titans franchise? You’re going to dig this one. In 2 weeks, we’re finishing this arc, so in the meantime, follow the crew @RobotsIntoGuys on IG and leave us a 5-star review to show your support for the show. Thank you!!

CW: Discussion of parental abuse It took us 11 episodes but we finally did it, gang... Our first OC. He’s really tall, he’s hot pink, he turns into a vibrator and we’re pretty sure his name is Oliver. Please give him all your love and support. It’s Part 1 of the first 3-part arc since the pilot, and we’ve got a lot to discuss. Jordan posits that the episode is a dark allegory for generational ideological schisms, David rebrands himself as “Mr. David Sunstreaker” before remembering his allegiance to trusty Ironhide, and Gege plans to launch their Queer reading of the SpongeBob franchise, “Pineapple Under The Me.” Oh yeah, and there’s much rejoicing over Megatron’s choice in sex dolls. It’s a wild ride. We’ll be back in 2 weeks with Part 2 of the arc, so by then it won’t be Pride Month anymore. Therefore, once again, we wish you all a Happy Pride Month! Please subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Y’all, I’m sorry. This one’s a stinker. Just a whole lot of Dino-Bot stuff. Sorry if this isn’t what you wanted to hear us talk about after the hiatus. We’ll personally send you a Bosch 800 Series French 3 Door Refrigerator to make it up. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew makes a stunning return to form by heralding the return of Chip Chase, Boy Genius and celebrating the arrival of two new Dino-Bots. Listen in excitement as David makes the first (and last) Star Wars reference in R.I.G. history, Jordan pitches a better, gayer Brady Bunch and Gege does a complete takeover of the segment “Dumb Notes With David.” We’re back to our regular schedule, so we’ll return in 2 weeks!! Happy Pride Month!

You know that Spice Girls album that they made after Ginger Spice left, and how it’s not their best work, but “Holler” is a banger? Well, this mini-sode is like “Holler” because it’s really good, even if there’s no Ginger Spice. On this special bonus episode, David puts Jordan through the ringer with a Transformers-themed quiz show of his own devising, and then they play an especially tough round of F.M.K. David even tries out a slick TV presenter voice!  We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming in the next episode. As always, stay safe and ABOLISH THE POLICE. Happy Pride Month!!

Hey, do you like Brawn? If you don’t like Brawn, I’ve got bad news, buddy... We talk a lot about Brawn in this one. This one’s about Brawn. Oh, and also Skyfire’s back. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew find that they can’t get enough of sass-master Thundercracker and receive a friendly reminder about Skyfire’s Big Dick Energy. Also, they discuss the first female speaking role in the series and the implications of her dynamic with Spike and Bumblebee. And then there’s the matter of Brawn. We are holding opening submissions for all homegrown erotic Transformers fan art to be featured on our official Instagram page. Be sure to tag your creations with our IG handle @RobotsIntoGuys for a chance to see YOUR work on OUR page!  See you for the next episode in 2 weeks!!

It’s the Age of Extinction when the Dino-Bots arrive and make a total mess out of Autobot HQ. It’s a historic episode... A PRE-historic episode, that is! Alright, that’s enough of that. On this episode, Jordan validates Rumble’s potential asexuality and David and Gege draw comparisons between Spike’s queer love triangle (quadrangle?) and the story of Gilmore Girls, a show that Jordan has not seen. Also, the gang dives into the Marxist themes of this episode, specifically the complex relationship between intellect, labor and rebellion. Happy May Day, workers of the world! Don’t forget to subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts and leave a glowing review! We might just read it on air. See you in 2 weeks!!

Just as quickly as we were introduced to him, he was taken away from us. We’ll never forget you, Jetfire. Wait, is it Starfire? Skyfire? Ah, who knows. He’s the best. On this episode, the R.I.G. crew theorizes about what Starscream’s personality was like before he started dating Megatron and give props to Rumble, a bona fide Short King. All this, and the first installment of our newest segment, “Dumb Notes with David!” Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Thank you for 69 downloads so far. Nice! Instagram: robotsintoguys

The unexpected return of Chip Chase, Boy Genius! But wait, he’s working in the arms industry now? Oh, no... Anyway, on this episode, the R.I.G. crew shows some love and support for Optimus Prime’s polyamorous lifestyle and see how two weeks of couples counseling have affected the bond between Megatron and Starscream. On this installment of “Gege’s Wild Kingdom,” Gege gives Laserbeak his rights and Jordan plugs Beastars on Netflix. Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Also, follow the show on Instagram for some HOT pix of Transformer-on-Transformer action @RobotsIntoGuys. See you in 2 weeks! Stay safe!!

How is it that the fifth episode of this show was pretty as all get out, but the writing was some of the worst so far? Chalk that up as one of the universe’s many mysteries. Anyway, on the episode, David, Gege and Jordan talk about how all cop cars are bastards and swoon over Chip Chase, boy genius and Certified Cutie. On this installment of “Gege’s Wild Kingdom,” Gege compliments Ravage on his beefed up role in the action. RIG returns in 2 weeks. In the meantime, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. If you just want to rate the show 5 stars and post some Transformers slashfic instead, we’d almost certainly read that on air to show our thanks. And be sure to follow us on instagram at robotsintoguys

Now that the RIG crew are officially done with the pilot, they’re moving forward, starting with2 this goofy story about an interplanetary light bridge. On this episode, David, Gege and Jordan speculate on where Spike’s true affections lie and throw a big gay Welcome Back party for their favorite big violet queen, Shockwave. Witness the premiere of the new segment “Gege’s Wild Kingdom,” where they talk about what’s going on with the robot animals in this godforsaken show. RIG returns in 2 weeks, where we’ll hopefully have all remaining audio issues sorted. Thanks!! find us at ( Jordan's twitter ) @https://soundcloud.com/elefante111 (elefante111) ( Genevieve's insta ) @https://soundcloud.com/gegevines (gegevines) ( David's insta ) @https://soundcloud.com/1kitotik1 (1kitotik1)

The long-awaited conclusion of the analysis of the three-part Gen 1 pilot is HERE! On this episode, David, Gege and Jordan discuss the brutality of Megatron and Starscream’s domestic quarrel and get serious about the franchise’s buck-wild choke play motif. Later, Jamal and Brian from the Hatin’ ‘08 podcast call in to do some Transformers improv and it goes about as well as you’d expect, Plus, the world premiere of 2020’s Song of the Summer, “Chip On My Dick.” Sorry for the late upload. RIG will return to our regular Friday schedule next time!!

The R.I.G. crew continues their God-given mission to unpack the queer subtext of Transformers in the SECOND part of their analysis of the three-part Gen 1 pilot. On this episode, David, Gege and Jordan marvel at Megatron’s canonically sexy thighs and spend ten minutes poring over one especially NSFW shot. Also, Gege explains how Transformers is like Garfield and ruins Jordan’s entire day. We will return in two weeks with our analysis of the FINAL part of the three-part pilot! Follow the Crew: David (@https://soundcloud.com/1kitotik1 (1kitotik1)) Gege (@https://soundcloud.com/gegevines (gegevines)) Jordan (@https://soundcloud.com/elefante111 (elefante111))

On the very first episode of this experiment in critical analysis, one man, his partner, and his college roommate attempt a Queer reading of Transformers. This week, David, Gege and Jordan go into the elements that comprise a Queer narrative, play a game of Spot the Phallic Object (spoiler alert: nobody wins) and reveal which ‘bots stole their hearts along with their Energon cubes. We will be back two weeks from now with a new episode discussing the second part of the three-part Gen 1 pilot!