Podcasts about himbo

What do Pathfinder classes, Muppet horror, and himbo culture have in common? Absolutely nothing—so obviously we made a whole episode about it. Big thanks to Dungeon Master Adamantine for sponsoring this episode—if you want to roll dice in Greece with a professional GM who can out-roleplay Zeus himself, summon Nick at dungeonmasteradamantine.com or book him Startplaying: https://startplaying.games/gm/dmadamantine (but maybe not during a boss fight). In the third (and arguably most chaotic) installment of our deep dive into Pathfinder classes, the RPGBOT.Podcast crew goes full gremlin. Join Ash, Randall, and Tyler as they discuss the remastering of Pathfinder, family hijinks, the unexpected depth of 'himbo' culture, the musical Wicked, and how to reimagine Sesame Street as a TTRPG murder mystery. Also, yes—we talk about actual Pathfinder classes. Probably more than you'd expect given how much time we spend dunking on action economy and imagining eldritch Elmo. This episode features critical evaluations of the Animist, Exemplar, Gunslinger, Inventor, Kineticist, Magus, Psychic, Summoner, and Thaumaturge classes. Which ones are too complex for beginners? Which are secretly brilliant? Which would Kermit play? All this and more in an episode that sounds like it was brainstormed on a sticky note found in a Waffle House parking lot. Archives of Nethys (affiliate link) Sesame Street Content from RPGBOT.news PF2 Character Optimization RPGBOT.Podcast Episodes PF2 Starting Classes Part 1 PF2 Starting Classes Part 2 Dark Archive Review Guns and Gears Remastered Review Rage of Elements Review War of Immortals Review Key Takeaways The Vibes: Podcasting is hard. Podcasting while discussing Muppet horror fiction? Harder. Humor is a necessary survival skill—especially in family life and game design. Yes, you can enjoy Wicked without knowing the entire Wizard of Oz lore tree. Himbo culture is more than just muscles and charm—it's a way of life. Classy Evaluations: Animist – “What if your divine caster was also a spirit medium with an emotional support ghost?” Surprisingly elegant. Exemplar – A mythic powerhouse designed for epic-level play. Great if you like spreadsheets and divine empowerment. Gunslinger – Surprisingly tactical. Better than expected. Imagine Yosemite Sam, but with feat optimization. Inventor – Simple. Straightforward. Hits things with science. Ideal for players who want to cosplay as Iron Goblin. Kineticist – Offers power and flavor, but the mechanical complexity is dense. Approach with coffee and patience. Magus – Action economy is a problem. Looks amazing on paper, but in practice, it's like juggling flaming swords while solving a Rubik's Cube. Psychic – Big flavor, intimidating mechanics. Could be brilliant, could be brain-melting. Much like psychic powers, really. Summoner – You share HP with your pet kaiju. It's a relationship built on trust, trauma, and tactical retreat. Thaumaturge – A fan favorite. Big bag of tricks, satisfying mechanics, and good for players who like yelling “Your weakness is friendship!” Creative Chaos: Elmo as an unknowable horror from the Darkest House? Canon. Kermit the Frog: bard? gunslinger? morally neutral cleric? All viable builds. You can adapt Sesame Street to a Pathfinder game, but you probably shouldn't. But if you do, please invite us. Meta Moments: Some Paizo devs are probably listening. Hi! We love you. Please don't smite us. Podcast guests matter. Good ones make everything better. Bad ones get reincarnated as spellcasters with 3-action teleports and no way to cast them. The community continues to influence Paizo's design—your feedback does matter. Listener Homework Build a Thaumaturge with a Sesame Street theme. Bonus points for cursed items shaped like puppets. Try Wicked. Then stat out Elphaba as a Witch with the Hex trait. Ask yourself: Are you the himbo in your party? Complain about Magus' action economy online. It's tradition. If you enjoy the show, please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app. It's a quick, free way to support the podcast, and helps us reach new listeners. If you love the show, consider joining us on Patreon, where backers at the $5 and above tiers get ad free access to RPGBOT.net and the RPGBOT.Podcast, can chat directly to members of the RPGBOT team and community on the RPGBOT.Discord, and can join us for live-streamed recordings. Support us on Amazon.com when you purchase products recommended in the show at the following link: https://amzn.to/3NwElxQ How to Find Us: In-depth articles, guides, handbooks, reviews, news on Tabletop Role Playing at RPGBOT.net Tyler Kamstra BlueSky: @rpgbot.net TikTok: @RPGBOTDOTNET Ash Ely Professional Game Master on StartPlaying.Games BlueSky: @GravenAshes YouTube: @ashravenmedia Randall James BlueSky: @GrimoireRPG Amateurjack.com Read Melancon: A Grimoire Tale (affiliate link) Producer Dan @Lzr_illuminati

What do Pathfinder classes, Muppet horror, and himbo culture have in common? Absolutely nothing—so obviously we made a whole episode about it. Big thanks to Dungeon Master Adamantine for sponsoring this episode—if you want to roll dice in Greece with a professional GM who can out-roleplay Zeus himself, summon Nick at dungeonmasteradamantine.com or book him Startplaying: https://startplaying.games/gm/dmadamantine (but maybe not during a boss fight). In the third (and arguably most chaotic) installment of our deep dive into Pathfinder classes, the RPGBOT.Podcast crew goes full gremlin. Join Ash, Randall, and Tyler as they discuss the remastering of Pathfinder, family hijinks, the unexpected depth of 'himbo' culture, the musical Wicked, and how to reimagine Sesame Street as a TTRPG murder mystery. Also, yes—we talk about actual Pathfinder classes. Probably more than you'd expect given how much time we spend dunking on action economy and imagining eldritch Elmo. This episode features critical evaluations of the Animist, Exemplar, Gunslinger, Inventor, Kineticist, Magus, Psychic, Summoner, and Thaumaturge classes. Which ones are too complex for beginners? Which are secretly brilliant? Which would Kermit play? All this and more in an episode that sounds like it was brainstormed on a sticky note found in a Waffle House parking lot. Archives of Nethys (affiliate link) Sesame Street Content from RPGBOT.news PF2 Character Optimization RPGBOT.Podcast Episodes PF2 Starting Classes Part 1 PF2 Starting Classes Part 2 Dark Archive Review Guns and Gears Remastered Review Rage of Elements Review War of Immortals Review Key Takeaways The Vibes: Podcasting is hard. Podcasting while discussing Muppet horror fiction? Harder. Humor is a necessary survival skill—especially in family life and game design. Yes, you can enjoy Wicked without knowing the entire Wizard of Oz lore tree. Himbo culture is more than just muscles and charm—it's a way of life. Classy Evaluations: Animist – “What if your divine caster was also a spirit medium with an emotional support ghost?” Surprisingly elegant. Exemplar – A mythic powerhouse designed for epic-level play. Great if you like spreadsheets and divine empowerment. Gunslinger – Surprisingly tactical. Better than expected. Imagine Yosemite Sam, but with feat optimization. Inventor – Simple. Straightforward. Hits things with science. Ideal for players who want to cosplay as Iron Goblin. Kineticist – Offers power and flavor, but the mechanical complexity is dense. Approach with coffee and patience. Magus – Action economy is a problem. Looks amazing on paper, but in practice, it's like juggling flaming swords while solving a Rubik's Cube. Psychic – Big flavor, intimidating mechanics. Could be brilliant, could be brain-melting. Much like psychic powers, really. Summoner – You share HP with your pet kaiju. It's a relationship built on trust, trauma, and tactical retreat. Thaumaturge – A fan favorite. Big bag of tricks, satisfying mechanics, and good for players who like yelling “Your weakness is friendship!” Creative Chaos: Elmo as an unknowable horror from the Darkest House? Canon. Kermit the Frog: bard? gunslinger? morally neutral cleric? All viable builds. You can adapt Sesame Street to a Pathfinder game, but you probably shouldn't. But if you do, please invite us. Meta Moments: Some Paizo devs are probably listening. Hi! We love you. Please don't smite us. Podcast guests matter. Good ones make everything better. Bad ones get reincarnated as spellcasters with 3-action teleports and no way to cast them. The community continues to influence Paizo's design—your feedback does matter. Listener Homework Build a Thaumaturge with a Sesame Street theme. Bonus points for cursed items shaped like puppets. Try Wicked. Then stat out Elphaba as a Witch with the Hex trait. Ask yourself: Are you the himbo in your party? Complain about Magus' action economy online. It's tradition. If you enjoy the show, please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app. It's a quick, free way to support the podcast, and helps us reach new listeners. If you love the show, consider joining us on Patreon, where backers at the $5 and above tiers get ad free access to RPGBOT.net and the RPGBOT.Podcast, can chat directly to members of the RPGBOT team and community on the RPGBOT.Discord, and can join us for live-streamed recordings. Support us on Amazon.com when you purchase products recommended in the show at the following link: https://amzn.to/3NwElxQ How to Find Us: In-depth articles, guides, handbooks, reviews, news on Tabletop Role Playing at RPGBOT.net Tyler Kamstra BlueSky: @rpgbot.net TikTok: @RPGBOTDOTNET Ash Ely Professional Game Master on StartPlaying.Games BlueSky: @GravenAshes YouTube: @ashravenmedia Randall James BlueSky: @GrimoireRPG Amateurjack.com Read Melancon: A Grimoire Tale (affiliate link) Producer Dan @Lzr_illuminati

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 1Desperate aliens kidnap a Karen to save their world!Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.On the starship Onan, the Priamites dubiously watched the screen display the creature. Dr. Fehr's algorithm had brought them trekking across the galaxy to a smallish, blue planet around an unimpressive star. While there was no denying the power emitted by the angry, festering organic matter before them, the thought of containing it and bringing it back to Priam was daunting. Still, the fate of their world hung upon the success of their mission."Do we have; uh; audio yet, Lieutenant Cavill?" Captain Hemsworth said, pausing briefly to joylessly ejaculate into his cumsuit, which quickly reclaimed the essence he emitted and channeled it into one of the suit's containment pouches to be resorbed as nourishment.Ever since the people of Eros had unleashed their horrific weapon on them, the Priamites orgasmed almost constantly. The Eros Curse, which seemed like a gift at first, became a tool of enslavement and oppression as the great Priam civilization devolved into listless people who passed the time sitting and staring at nothing in particular. Even special holidays were simply spent gathered in each other's' houses, grunting intermittently. The children of Priam, spared by the curse of Eros by living in growth pods, were never exposed to the disease or its effects until the seemingly arbitrary age of 18, so at least there was no trouble with the censors. The demands of orgasming so frequently took its toll on the Priamite's bodies. Dehydration, muscle spasms, and fatigue were common. The effects on the mind were worse. It wasn't until the invention of the cumsuit, which not only reclaimed the fluid loss and prevented dehydration, but also reduced arousing sensations until the wearer was nearly numb, that it was possible for them to journey out into the stars in search of a cure.Guided by the ancient journals of the revered Dr. Fehr, the Priamites had come to a small planet where it was foretold that there was a force of great and terrible power. It was hoped that this force could be used to break free of the cruel Eros Curse, but time was running out. Even wearing the cumsuits, the crew of the Onan, who were the most stoic, intellectual and sexless men of Priam, felt themselves progressively weakening to the Curse. It was only a matter of time until they lost all sense of duty and simply went adrift through the universe."No audio yet, Captain. The resonant frequency is so shrill that if we don't modulate the pitch; uh;” Lieutenant Cavill replied, closing his eyes and shaking as he orgasmed, then collapsed and stared blankly at the control panels as he recovered.Another crewman took over at the panel, "Captain, I can give you audio, but only for a short time. Even on their planet, they; they; oh; oh fuck;” the replacement said, stiffening as he spurted inside his suit, then shook his head to clear it and looked to their leader for orders. Captain Hemsworth braced himself in his chair and nodded for him to activate audio.A horrendous braying screech filled the bridge, “ No Idea Why You People Can't Even Take An Order Right! I Ordered The Cobb Salad With Extra Avocado! I Don't Care If It's Not On There Or Not! Fix The Damn Menu! I Have Been Coming Here For Over 15 Years And I Know For A Fact That You People Had Cobb Salad On There Two Years Ago When You Were Called Baker's Pie;"Another voice interjected, soft and conciliatory, "Oh, yes, ma'am; I see the confusion. The Baker's Pie that was here went out of business. This restaurant is Snooker's, now, so we don't have the same menu, but our club salad is very similar to;""Are You Actually Interrupting Me? Get. Me. A. Cobb. Salad. Extra Avocado! Do You Understand? Extra Avocado! Mucho Amortado! Comprendo Estupido?"Even in that short interlude, most of the Onan's bridge crew had begun bleeding from their ears and collapsing onto the deck. Captain Hemsworth, a man of rare tolerance and stamina, struggled past their unconscious bodies to the control panel and lowered the volume until it was barely audible. "Computer, disburse caffeline into bridge life support systems, 15 parts per million," he mumbled, leaning on the control panel for support as the strong stimulant hissed into the room. He didn't like to use the drug, because the heightened energy it gave often led to periods of prolonged involuntary masturbation, but he couldn't afford to waste time for the crewmen to awaken naturally. Not when conditions were so dire on Priam.Lieutenant Cavill groaned and rose weakly, climbing back into his console chair and checking the readings. "What happened, Captain? Our scans showed a primitive civilization on the planet without any meaningful defenses. What was that? Some kind of weapon?" he asked.Captain Hemsworth did a double-take at the crewman in wonder, but he said nothing. All around him, he watched the rest of the crew slowly getting to their feet and going back to their positions. All the men were alert, aware, and focused on their duties. Several of them were talking to each other; in full uninterrupted sentences. No one drooled, no one's eyes rolled back; not one of them stared off into space, as if dully re-living the curse that had infected their brains. He, himself, had not even felt the urge to sexually relieve himself once, even with the high levels of caffeline in the air. Indeed, he had not felt anything below the waist; not since he heard that voice. He doubted whether he would have the urge to orgasm ever again. They had finally done it."That was no weapon, Cavill; it is what we came here to find. It's the cure that Dr. Fehr told us was here all along. Contact High Command and tell them; tell them we found it. Tell them we have found; The Karen.The man-eating woman.After straightening out the incompetent waiter on her order, Karen Carmichael excused herself from her prayer group's table and walked to the restrooms, incensed. What kind of man actually cries when taking an order for a salad? Probably gay; or whatever kids were calling themselves these days. Was there such a thing as "gay" anymore, when people "identified" themselves as whatever the hell occurred to them? What was the point of picking a sexuality when people didn't even have a species anymore?Of course, Travis the Waiter had to play the victim about it, too, making the entire restaurant gawk over at their table like they were monsters. He probably knew they were a nice church group and went out of his way to make trouble. Sure, they all scream for "tolerance," but their types couldn't wait to attack nice people of faith like her who showed the world what it was to be decent and pure of heart. Well, he could just kiss his tip money goodbye! Tipping had gotten ridiculous anyway; a generation of whiny babies feeling entitled to extra money just for doing their jobs. ‘If ‘; they did their jobs. She couldn't even get a salad; and, by God, if the Manager didn't make things right, her Yelp review on this place would burn a hole through people's screens!Karen pushed on the door to the restroom tightly clutching her can of pepper spray, because sexual predators were always trying to rape women like her in public restrooms, and she nearly screamed when the door opened. Wet paper towels were everywhere. The garbage bin was overflowing, and some slob had splashed water all over the sink area! Now, she'd have to make the Manager take care of this, too! More drama, when she just wanted to have a nice lunch with her friends. And, of course, the Manager would just try to ‘handle ‘; her; as if she was some unreasonable bitch just for wanting to use a facility that wasn't absolutely disgusting! Then looking near her, but not at her, the Manager would apologize in that fake-nice voice and offer to comp her meal; offering her even more of what was bad in the first place. Managers and their fake apologies. They weren't sorry. The soulless jerks never meant it. They just wanted her to go away; acting like she was a scamming thief instead of someone who just wanted to be treated decently.She settled on the toilet and tried to calm herself. Lately, half the time she wanted to cry, or scream, or tear out her hair; but it wouldn't matter. Nothing would change. Everything changed around her, though. Menus; her children; hairstyles; prices; everything changed. It felt like everything had just left her behind. She looked everywhere for the things she used to love, but she couldn't find them anymore; and if she did find them, they weren't the same as they once were. Nothing made her feel her joy like she used to. That was it. Maybe she was done; that her turn at having any real joy was over. Now, the only time anyone tried to make her happy, or even looked at her, was when she screamed at them.Karen opened her eyes to a rattling sound at the door of her long, handicapped-bathroom stall. "Occupied!" she called out. To her dismay, the dial holding the sliding bolt turned all by itself and the door unlocked. "Hey! Get out!" she yelled, grabbing her pepper spray and holding it in front of her while she tried to stand and pull up her yoga pants."Nice human; good human;” a vaguely disembodied male voice said as a dark, hooded figure in a bizarre form-fitting spacesuit stepped into her stall holding what looked like a staff with a flexible loop affixed to the end of it. It slowly stepped toward her, as cautiously as one might approach a spooked animal. "Human want a nice piece of kale? Yes you do! Yes you do! Who's a good human?" it asked, holding out a curly dark green leaf to her and shaking it temptingly."What the hell?" she yelled, fumbling with the pepper spray can and trying to figure out how to make it work, just as the loop at the end of the staff went down over her head and around her neck, cinching tight.Karen choked, clutching at the loop with one hand, trying to loosen it so she could breathe, and with the other she emptied the can of pepper spray into the hooded face of her attacker. She struggled wildly, but the staff with the loop effectively controlled her and prevented her from landing any punches or kicks on her attacker. As darkness started creeping in on her vision, the last thing she saw was the figure deeply inhale the cloud of pepper spray and hold its breath, then say in a choked voice, "Ready for transport, sir; and man, they've got some good shit down here;”The forgotten leaf of kale fell down next to where Karen's cheek was pressed against the filthy bathroom floor, and with what she feared was her dying breath she choked out, "I want; to see; the; Manager;”Karen's ne victim."I used kale, Sir. Worked like a charm. It's one of the most nutritionally dense materials on the planet, so naturally, it was irresistible," a larger Priamite said to Captain Hemsworth, as he stripped out of his protective suit in a small enclave, bathed in an undulating light.Captain Hemsworth nodded. "Good work, Commander Momoa. Decontaminate for a full four cycles and I want protective measures in place for all personnel. God knows what this thing is capable of when it wakes."Karen heard garbled voices nearby, but kept her eyes closed and tried to steady her breathing. What had happened? The air smelled odd; almost crackling with ozone and energy, like a storm coming. The ambient sounds of the room told her she was not in Snookers anymore. Probably human traffickers. She saw a whole show about it. The bastards kidnapped her and were going to sell her into sexual slavery; except that she wasn't a teenager. She was 51 years old. Nobody would pay for sex with her, much less risk a felony conviction for it. Any ransom demands sent to her husband were going to have disappointing results, as well. So, what was going on? Why was she here? The kids were in college and wouldn't even notice she was gone until Christmas came. Her friends; her passive-aggressive competitors, if she was being honest; they'd just assume she left in a huff and stiffed them on the lunch check. The cold, hard truth was: nobody cared about her anymore and she knew it. That meant, if she was going to get out of this, she would have to do it herself. Her cheek hurt where it had hit that disgusting bathroom floor and she reached her hand up to touch it. The voices yelped in alarm and Karen opened her eyes to see two figures backing away from the enclosure she was imprisoned in."Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my purse?" she yelled, pushing herself to her feet. She walked toward them, crossing her arms and glaring. "I want whoever is in charge over here right now! I mean it!" she yelled, pointing as she walked toward them. One of the figures screamed, clutched at his ears and doubled over, staggering around the room dramatically. The other, larger one she recognized from the restaurant bathroom was in some tanning-booth-looking-thing, half naked and gorgeous in a likely-sexual-predator kind of way. Rather than flailing around the room, he seemed to have gone into a catatonic trance. God, people were useless. "You! Himbo!" she shouted, pointing at him. "Where is my purse? Did you even think to get it when you kidnapped me, or am I going to miss my Ozempic shot? I hope to God you assholes have good lawyers!"The beefy kidnapper in the tanning booth wobbled, then vomited loudly. Karen snorted as he slid down to the floor, unconscious. Pathetic. The smaller figure dove toward a panel on the wall next to her enclosure and pressed a few buttons and she heard the ambient noise of her room change, like it was encased, somehow."I've muted it. It's become even stronger than before;” Captain Hemsworth gasped, helping Commander Momoa to his feet again."How are we going to get it back to Priam? We could choke it out again every time it awakens; give the privilege out as a reward to the crew?" Commander Momoa suggested eagerly."No," Captain Hemsworth said, coming closer to the force field separating him from the angry Karen still yelling and pointing from inside the enclosure. "The cumulative effects of throttling it constantly might affect its functioning. We need The Karen at full power if we are to rescue Priam. We need to keep it conscious. We must feed it, provide it breathing gasses, and keep it clean; it appears to be constantly decaying. That reminds me ; cleaning duty goes to Ensign Holland. He's still on my shit list after the incident with the Zendayans.""Aye, sir."Captain Hemsworth cleared his throat and pressed another button on the side panel. "Hail Karen, bringer of blessed flaccidity, destroyer of abhorrent lust, and banisher of all erotic thought. We are men of the planet Priam. We mean you no harm. We come to you seeking aid, and we come in peace. Actually, until we found you, we would come almost constantly. It was disgusting. Everything was sticky. You see, our enemies from Eros sent us the most perfect pornographic images disguised in an innocent-looking email attachment. Once they were seen, they could not be unseen. They were burned into our brains, cursing us with perpetual arousal. The first wave of Priamites were taken by surprise once they activated the link. The next wave fell victim when the first wave posted the link on their social media because it was just so unbelievably; anyway, after the rest of our population fell out of curiosity or boredom, our civilization was nearly destroyed. We have been searching the stars for a cure, but to no avail. Then, just as all hope seemed lost, we found you; we heard your voice; and our loins finally withered. You are now a guest on my ship, The Onan, en route to my homeworld Priam. There, we will deliver your noxious, strident sounds to everyone, freeing them from their intransigent arousal. Then, after we are assured that all have been cured, we shall return you to your home."At this, Karen made an unpleasant face and began breathing on the clear wall of her enclosure, fogging it. Then, she quickly wrote a short message. "What does it mean?" Commander Momoa said, squinting at the squiggling lines she had made.At this, the computer made a chirp and began speaking, "The message, from the American dialect of the language English translates to: Why didn't you just make a recording?"Captain Hemsworth's shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes with a sigh. Commander Momoa's eyes went wide and he clapped his hand over his face in exasperation. "Fuck;” Momoa said in realization. "A recording;”"Dammit. We didn't have to take her at all, did we?" Captain Hemsworth groaned.Karen glared at them and wrote another word on the wall. As certain as Captain Hemsworth was that he did not need or want the translation, the computer was already on the job. "'Dumbasses,'" the computer cheerfully intoned, "a colloquial phrase, plural of the insult 'dumbass,' meaning 'a foolish or stupid person.'""End translation. Yes, Karen, if we had thought to record your voice instead of kidnapping you, this might have been a much shorter story, and considerably less inconvenient, but as it is, we are closer to Priam than Earth at this point, and our course is set. We will bring you to Priam and then return you home. Perhaps kidnapping you was not the most well-considered solution, but I defy you to think clearly after constantly watching porn for eons and let me know if you do any better."Karen's new calling.Great; as if getting old wasn't insult enough, I've actually become an intergalactic sexual repellent, Karen thought to herself as she paced around her cell. A lifetime of trying to do things right, and this is what it gets me. She wasn't so surprised that there were aliens in the universe, or that they had somehow weaponized porn, but that with all their advancements they were still so stupid!Sighing, she closed her eyes and listened to the ambient sounds of her cell. Life had been so noisy, the last 30 years. Everyone needing her, pulling on her for one thing or another. No peace. Lately though, with the kids gone and Cal; otherwise occupied; life had gone silent. The silence that she had wished for held no peace when it finally came. It just reverberated with the memory of things that had left her behind, making her anxious to fill the emptiness with noise. Nothing came to lure her mind away from the silence, no pleasurable temptations; her duties were done and it felt wrong to do, or even think about, anything else. My god, she had been kidnapped, was flying through the galaxy, and was surrounded by beefcake aliens and she was still thinking about that stupid loose tile in the master bathroom; she needed to get it fixed before the house was sold.A slight sound outside her cell drew her attention. "Who's there?" Karen asked, softly, opening her eyes.A wide-eyed figure peered around the edge of her cell, moving with cautious curiosity. It seemed younger than the other ones. It moved with a sense of barely-restrained eagerness, adorable and earnest. It also held a curved sort of wand in its hand."Honey, if you're here to anally probe me, I'll pass. I already had a colonoscopy this year, I'll have them send you the records;” she murmured, not expecting an answer.After a pause as the figure listened to the translation, its large eyes got even wider. "Is that how you poop?" he asked."What?" she asked, looking more closely at the young alien."I'm supposed to clean your cell when you poop; but you haven't pooped yet; wait, do colonoscopies make you poop?" it asked, scandalized.Karen closed her eyes and shook her head, "No. Colonoscopies put a small camera up your ass so that we can pay a doctor to do what we were afraid aliens like you would do to us if we got drunk in cornfields too much. They don't make us poop. In fact; well, never mind;” she trailed off, embarrassed.She still had vivid memories of her first colonoscopy earlier in the year, drinking gallons of preparatory laxatives, and the resulting quality time with her phone on the toilet. It was an odd experience; not awful, but not one that she could talk to anyone about. Her friends only talked about their kids and their successes, or whose husband cheated on them with some young thing, viciously salivating over their friends' misery with barely concealed glee. Forget about talking through her fears about it with Cal; that wasn't something he was interested in. Not anymore.After the procedure, she had been scared and disoriented from the sedation. For whatever reason, Cal hadn't shown up to give her a ride home. The stupid clinic wouldn't let her leave until someone could drive her home and take care of her. She just sat there getting more and more anxious. Eventually, she called an Uber and begged Xabiib the driver to pretend to be her neighbor; or just someone who cared about her. She spent the ride home trying to say his name correctly while he chuckled and repeated it for her. It was so horrifyingly embarrassing. It's one thing to have no one care about you, but another thing to have the whole world know about it when you were helpless and confused.Tears had rolled down her cheeks and she absently wiped them off with her hand. The young alien sat up and craned his head to look at the liquid on her hand. Karen snorted, "At ease, Holland. It's not poop. You're not getting anything out of me unless you have some heavy-duty magnesium supplements or yogurt."Holland's eyes went wide, "Are humans telepathic???" he gasped. "How did you know my name? Wow, that's so cool! Do it again! What am I thinking about now?"Karen suppressed a smile. Closing her eyes, she pressed her fingers to her temples and swayed from side to side, mysteriously. "I see something; something in the mist; something about; could it be; no, it makes no sense. Is it; a Zen; Zendayan? Does that make any sense to you?" she asked.Holland dropped his curved instrument in shock. "Yes! Yes! We just met them! We negotiated with them for supplies! I was there to carry stuff and; and;” he paused, shrinking in on himself a bit. "They are so beautiful. The Zendayans? So beautiful; and super nice; and just; like wow; I was supposed to just stand there until they were done with the talking and bowing and stuff, but they were just like so beautiful.""Well, what happened?" Karen asked."Captain introduced me and I bowed to them. I was feeling dizzy because, you know, their beautifulness just keeps radiating off them. Then; then; the most beautiful of them; she smiled." Holland stared at nothing, immersed in the memory, then wobbled, tipped over, and lay on the floor staring at the ceiling.Karen bit her lips in amusement. "I see. What did you do then?""I; I; I started talking and then I just couldn't stop because I was just trying to say how beautiful she was and how it just made my mind explode when she smiled and then I might have peed on the floor.""Oh dear," Karen said, cringing in sympathy. "We don't always put forward the face we want to when we are in our feelings, do we?" she said, quietly."Yeah; I've been cleaning poop ever since;” Holland sighed. After a while he sat back up, picked up the curved instrument and began twirling it in his hands. "So, like; what about you? Have you always made horrible noises?" he asked.Karen huffed, but then she saw the oblivious earnestness in Holland's face and sighed. "No; I wasn't always; like this. In fact, until about 30 years ago, I made beautiful noises. I was a pianist," she said."But, wait, they said you were a female;” Holland said, confused."Pee, an, ist," Karen repeated slowly. "I played the piano. It's an instrument; I was a musician. I was a student at Juilliard. It's a school on Earth; it was like a dream to even get in. I was on a scholarship, living in this shoddy apartment with my roommate Dana;” she trailed off, thinking about those days when everything seemed possible."Wait! Are you remembering?" Holland asked, breaking her reverie. "Can I remember it, too? Nobody wants to remember with me ever since the Zendayans, so I'm just left with my own memories and it gets so boring.""What are you talking about?""Well, it's kinda like; um; let me just show you. Computer, scan The Karen and project her memories," Holland ordered. A humming noise filled the room and a beam of light shot out of the wall and passed over her several times. Suddenly, her cell transformed into her shoddy apartment in Newark, New Jersey."Oh my gosh; it's just like it," Karen gasped looking around."Humans dream of getting into this?" Holland said, scrutinizing a cockroach scurrying along the floor."No, silly. This was our apartment across the river. We lived here when we weren't at school. Dana and I moved off campus in our second year. We took jobs on the side through an agency. That was when;” she sat down and a phone in the apartment's bedroom began ringing.A long, pale arm reached out of a pile of blankets on the bed and grabbed the phone. "Hullo?" Dana mumbled. A voice on the phone sounded irate. "Yeah, I'm almost there," she said and hung up.

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 1Desperate aliens kidnap a Karen to save their world!Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.On the starship Onan, the Priamites dubiously watched the screen display the creature. Dr. Fehr's algorithm had brought them trekking across the galaxy to a smallish, blue planet around an unimpressive star. While there was no denying the power emitted by the angry, festering organic matter before them, the thought of containing it and bringing it back to Priam was daunting. Still, the fate of their world hung upon the success of their mission."Do we have; uh; audio yet, Lieutenant Cavill?" Captain Hemsworth said, pausing briefly to joylessly ejaculate into his cumsuit, which quickly reclaimed the essence he emitted and channeled it into one of the suit's containment pouches to be resorbed as nourishment.Ever since the people of Eros had unleashed their horrific weapon on them, the Priamites orgasmed almost constantly. The Eros Curse, which seemed like a gift at first, became a tool of enslavement and oppression as the great Priam civilization devolved into listless people who passed the time sitting and staring at nothing in particular. Even special holidays were simply spent gathered in each other's' houses, grunting intermittently. The children of Priam, spared by the curse of Eros by living in growth pods, were never exposed to the disease or its effects until the seemingly arbitrary age of 18, so at least there was no trouble with the censors. The demands of orgasming so frequently took its toll on the Priamite's bodies. Dehydration, muscle spasms, and fatigue were common. The effects on the mind were worse. It wasn't until the invention of the cumsuit, which not only reclaimed the fluid loss and prevented dehydration, but also reduced arousing sensations until the wearer was nearly numb, that it was possible for them to journey out into the stars in search of a cure.Guided by the ancient journals of the revered Dr. Fehr, the Priamites had come to a small planet where it was foretold that there was a force of great and terrible power. It was hoped that this force could be used to break free of the cruel Eros Curse, but time was running out. Even wearing the cumsuits, the crew of the Onan, who were the most stoic, intellectual and sexless men of Priam, felt themselves progressively weakening to the Curse. It was only a matter of time until they lost all sense of duty and simply went adrift through the universe."No audio yet, Captain. The resonant frequency is so shrill that if we don't modulate the pitch; uh;” Lieutenant Cavill replied, closing his eyes and shaking as he orgasmed, then collapsed and stared blankly at the control panels as he recovered.Another crewman took over at the panel, "Captain, I can give you audio, but only for a short time. Even on their planet, they; they; oh; oh fuck;” the replacement said, stiffening as he spurted inside his suit, then shook his head to clear it and looked to their leader for orders. Captain Hemsworth braced himself in his chair and nodded for him to activate audio.A horrendous braying screech filled the bridge, “ No Idea Why You People Can't Even Take An Order Right! I Ordered The Cobb Salad With Extra Avocado! I Don't Care If It's Not On There Or Not! Fix The Damn Menu! I Have Been Coming Here For Over 15 Years And I Know For A Fact That You People Had Cobb Salad On There Two Years Ago When You Were Called Baker's Pie;"Another voice interjected, soft and conciliatory, "Oh, yes, ma'am; I see the confusion. The Baker's Pie that was here went out of business. This restaurant is Snooker's, now, so we don't have the same menu, but our club salad is very similar to;""Are You Actually Interrupting Me? Get. Me. A. Cobb. Salad. Extra Avocado! Do You Understand? Extra Avocado! Mucho Amortado! Comprendo Estupido?"Even in that short interlude, most of the Onan's bridge crew had begun bleeding from their ears and collapsing onto the deck. Captain Hemsworth, a man of rare tolerance and stamina, struggled past their unconscious bodies to the control panel and lowered the volume until it was barely audible. "Computer, disburse caffeline into bridge life support systems, 15 parts per million," he mumbled, leaning on the control panel for support as the strong stimulant hissed into the room. He didn't like to use the drug, because the heightened energy it gave often led to periods of prolonged involuntary masturbation, but he couldn't afford to waste time for the crewmen to awaken naturally. Not when conditions were so dire on Priam.Lieutenant Cavill groaned and rose weakly, climbing back into his console chair and checking the readings. "What happened, Captain? Our scans showed a primitive civilization on the planet without any meaningful defenses. What was that? Some kind of weapon?" he asked.Captain Hemsworth did a double-take at the crewman in wonder, but he said nothing. All around him, he watched the rest of the crew slowly getting to their feet and going back to their positions. All the men were alert, aware, and focused on their duties. Several of them were talking to each other; in full uninterrupted sentences. No one drooled, no one's eyes rolled back; not one of them stared off into space, as if dully re-living the curse that had infected their brains. He, himself, had not even felt the urge to sexually relieve himself once, even with the high levels of caffeline in the air. Indeed, he had not felt anything below the waist; not since he heard that voice. He doubted whether he would have the urge to orgasm ever again. They had finally done it."That was no weapon, Cavill; it is what we came here to find. It's the cure that Dr. Fehr told us was here all along. Contact High Command and tell them; tell them we found it. Tell them we have found; The Karen.The man-eating woman.After straightening out the incompetent waiter on her order, Karen Carmichael excused herself from her prayer group's table and walked to the restrooms, incensed. What kind of man actually cries when taking an order for a salad? Probably gay; or whatever kids were calling themselves these days. Was there such a thing as "gay" anymore, when people "identified" themselves as whatever the hell occurred to them? What was the point of picking a sexuality when people didn't even have a species anymore?Of course, Travis the Waiter had to play the victim about it, too, making the entire restaurant gawk over at their table like they were monsters. He probably knew they were a nice church group and went out of his way to make trouble. Sure, they all scream for "tolerance," but their types couldn't wait to attack nice people of faith like her who showed the world what it was to be decent and pure of heart. Well, he could just kiss his tip money goodbye! Tipping had gotten ridiculous anyway; a generation of whiny babies feeling entitled to extra money just for doing their jobs. ‘If ‘; they did their jobs. She couldn't even get a salad; and, by God, if the Manager didn't make things right, her Yelp review on this place would burn a hole through people's screens!Karen pushed on the door to the restroom tightly clutching her can of pepper spray, because sexual predators were always trying to rape women like her in public restrooms, and she nearly screamed when the door opened. Wet paper towels were everywhere. The garbage bin was overflowing, and some slob had splashed water all over the sink area! Now, she'd have to make the Manager take care of this, too! More drama, when she just wanted to have a nice lunch with her friends. And, of course, the Manager would just try to ‘handle ‘; her; as if she was some unreasonable bitch just for wanting to use a facility that wasn't absolutely disgusting! Then looking near her, but not at her, the Manager would apologize in that fake-nice voice and offer to comp her meal; offering her even more of what was bad in the first place. Managers and their fake apologies. They weren't sorry. The soulless jerks never meant it. They just wanted her to go away; acting like she was a scamming thief instead of someone who just wanted to be treated decently.She settled on the toilet and tried to calm herself. Lately, half the time she wanted to cry, or scream, or tear out her hair; but it wouldn't matter. Nothing would change. Everything changed around her, though. Menus; her children; hairstyles; prices; everything changed. It felt like everything had just left her behind. She looked everywhere for the things she used to love, but she couldn't find them anymore; and if she did find them, they weren't the same as they once were. Nothing made her feel her joy like she used to. That was it. Maybe she was done; that her turn at having any real joy was over. Now, the only time anyone tried to make her happy, or even looked at her, was when she screamed at them.Karen opened her eyes to a rattling sound at the door of her long, handicapped-bathroom stall. "Occupied!" she called out. To her dismay, the dial holding the sliding bolt turned all by itself and the door unlocked. "Hey! Get out!" she yelled, grabbing her pepper spray and holding it in front of her while she tried to stand and pull up her yoga pants."Nice human; good human;” a vaguely disembodied male voice said as a dark, hooded figure in a bizarre form-fitting spacesuit stepped into her stall holding what looked like a staff with a flexible loop affixed to the end of it. It slowly stepped toward her, as cautiously as one might approach a spooked animal. "Human want a nice piece of kale? Yes you do! Yes you do! Who's a good human?" it asked, holding out a curly dark green leaf to her and shaking it temptingly."What the hell?" she yelled, fumbling with the pepper spray can and trying to figure out how to make it work, just as the loop at the end of the staff went down over her head and around her neck, cinching tight.Karen choked, clutching at the loop with one hand, trying to loosen it so she could breathe, and with the other she emptied the can of pepper spray into the hooded face of her attacker. She struggled wildly, but the staff with the loop effectively controlled her and prevented her from landing any punches or kicks on her attacker. As darkness started creeping in on her vision, the last thing she saw was the figure deeply inhale the cloud of pepper spray and hold its breath, then say in a choked voice, "Ready for transport, sir; and man, they've got some good shit down here;”The forgotten leaf of kale fell down next to where Karen's cheek was pressed against the filthy bathroom floor, and with what she feared was her dying breath she choked out, "I want; to see; the; Manager;”Karen's ne victim."I used kale, Sir. Worked like a charm. It's one of the most nutritionally dense materials on the planet, so naturally, it was irresistible," a larger Priamite said to Captain Hemsworth, as he stripped out of his protective suit in a small enclave, bathed in an undulating light.Captain Hemsworth nodded. "Good work, Commander Momoa. Decontaminate for a full four cycles and I want protective measures in place for all personnel. God knows what this thing is capable of when it wakes."Karen heard garbled voices nearby, but kept her eyes closed and tried to steady her breathing. What had happened? The air smelled odd; almost crackling with ozone and energy, like a storm coming. The ambient sounds of the room told her she was not in Snookers anymore. Probably human traffickers. She saw a whole show about it. The bastards kidnapped her and were going to sell her into sexual slavery; except that she wasn't a teenager. She was 51 years old. Nobody would pay for sex with her, much less risk a felony conviction for it. Any ransom demands sent to her husband were going to have disappointing results, as well. So, what was going on? Why was she here? The kids were in college and wouldn't even notice she was gone until Christmas came. Her friends; her passive-aggressive competitors, if she was being honest; they'd just assume she left in a huff and stiffed them on the lunch check. The cold, hard truth was: nobody cared about her anymore and she knew it. That meant, if she was going to get out of this, she would have to do it herself. Her cheek hurt where it had hit that disgusting bathroom floor and she reached her hand up to touch it. The voices yelped in alarm and Karen opened her eyes to see two figures backing away from the enclosure she was imprisoned in."Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my purse?" she yelled, pushing herself to her feet. She walked toward them, crossing her arms and glaring. "I want whoever is in charge over here right now! I mean it!" she yelled, pointing as she walked toward them. One of the figures screamed, clutched at his ears and doubled over, staggering around the room dramatically. The other, larger one she recognized from the restaurant bathroom was in some tanning-booth-looking-thing, half naked and gorgeous in a likely-sexual-predator kind of way. Rather than flailing around the room, he seemed to have gone into a catatonic trance. God, people were useless. "You! Himbo!" she shouted, pointing at him. "Where is my purse? Did you even think to get it when you kidnapped me, or am I going to miss my Ozempic shot? I hope to God you assholes have good lawyers!"The beefy kidnapper in the tanning booth wobbled, then vomited loudly. Karen snorted as he slid down to the floor, unconscious. Pathetic. The smaller figure dove toward a panel on the wall next to her enclosure and pressed a few buttons and she heard the ambient noise of her room change, like it was encased, somehow."I've muted it. It's become even stronger than before;” Captain Hemsworth gasped, helping Commander Momoa to his feet again."How are we going to get it back to Priam? We could choke it out again every time it awakens; give the privilege out as a reward to the crew?" Commander Momoa suggested eagerly."No," Captain Hemsworth said, coming closer to the force field separating him from the angry Karen still yelling and pointing from inside the enclosure. "The cumulative effects of throttling it constantly might affect its functioning. We need The Karen at full power if we are to rescue Priam. We need to keep it conscious. We must feed it, provide it breathing gasses, and keep it clean; it appears to be constantly decaying. That reminds me ; cleaning duty goes to Ensign Holland. He's still on my shit list after the incident with the Zendayans.""Aye, sir."Captain Hemsworth cleared his throat and pressed another button on the side panel. "Hail Karen, bringer of blessed flaccidity, destroyer of abhorrent lust, and banisher of all erotic thought. We are men of the planet Priam. We mean you no harm. We come to you seeking aid, and we come in peace. Actually, until we found you, we would come almost constantly. It was disgusting. Everything was sticky. You see, our enemies from Eros sent us the most perfect pornographic images disguised in an innocent-looking email attachment. Once they were seen, they could not be unseen. They were burned into our brains, cursing us with perpetual arousal. The first wave of Priamites were taken by surprise once they activated the link. The next wave fell victim when the first wave posted the link on their social media because it was just so unbelievably; anyway, after the rest of our population fell out of curiosity or boredom, our civilization was nearly destroyed. We have been searching the stars for a cure, but to no avail. Then, just as all hope seemed lost, we found you; we heard your voice; and our loins finally withered. You are now a guest on my ship, The Onan, en route to my homeworld Priam. There, we will deliver your noxious, strident sounds to everyone, freeing them from their intransigent arousal. Then, after we are assured that all have been cured, we shall return you to your home."At this, Karen made an unpleasant face and began breathing on the clear wall of her enclosure, fogging it. Then, she quickly wrote a short message. "What does it mean?" Commander Momoa said, squinting at the squiggling lines she had made.At this, the computer made a chirp and began speaking, "The message, from the American dialect of the language English translates to: Why didn't you just make a recording?"Captain Hemsworth's shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes with a sigh. Commander Momoa's eyes went wide and he clapped his hand over his face in exasperation. "Fuck;” Momoa said in realization. "A recording;”"Dammit. We didn't have to take her at all, did we?" Captain Hemsworth groaned.Karen glared at them and wrote another word on the wall. As certain as Captain Hemsworth was that he did not need or want the translation, the computer was already on the job. "'Dumbasses,'" the computer cheerfully intoned, "a colloquial phrase, plural of the insult 'dumbass,' meaning 'a foolish or stupid person.'""End translation. Yes, Karen, if we had thought to record your voice instead of kidnapping you, this might have been a much shorter story, and considerably less inconvenient, but as it is, we are closer to Priam than Earth at this point, and our course is set. We will bring you to Priam and then return you home. Perhaps kidnapping you was not the most well-considered solution, but I defy you to think clearly after constantly watching porn for eons and let me know if you do any better."Karen's new calling.Great; as if getting old wasn't insult enough, I've actually become an intergalactic sexual repellent, Karen thought to herself as she paced around her cell. A lifetime of trying to do things right, and this is what it gets me. She wasn't so surprised that there were aliens in the universe, or that they had somehow weaponized porn, but that with all their advancements they were still so stupid!Sighing, she closed her eyes and listened to the ambient sounds of her cell. Life had been so noisy, the last 30 years. Everyone needing her, pulling on her for one thing or another. No peace. Lately though, with the kids gone and Cal; otherwise occupied; life had gone silent. The silence that she had wished for held no peace when it finally came. It just reverberated with the memory of things that had left her behind, making her anxious to fill the emptiness with noise. Nothing came to lure her mind away from the silence, no pleasurable temptations; her duties were done and it felt wrong to do, or even think about, anything else. My god, she had been kidnapped, was flying through the galaxy, and was surrounded by beefcake aliens and she was still thinking about that stupid loose tile in the master bathroom; she needed to get it fixed before the house was sold.A slight sound outside her cell drew her attention. "Who's there?" Karen asked, softly, opening her eyes.A wide-eyed figure peered around the edge of her cell, moving with cautious curiosity. It seemed younger than the other ones. It moved with a sense of barely-restrained eagerness, adorable and earnest. It also held a curved sort of wand in its hand."Honey, if you're here to anally probe me, I'll pass. I already had a colonoscopy this year, I'll have them send you the records;” she murmured, not expecting an answer.After a pause as the figure listened to the translation, its large eyes got even wider. "Is that how you poop?" he asked."What?" she asked, looking more closely at the young alien."I'm supposed to clean your cell when you poop; but you haven't pooped yet; wait, do colonoscopies make you poop?" it asked, scandalized.Karen closed her eyes and shook her head, "No. Colonoscopies put a small camera up your ass so that we can pay a doctor to do what we were afraid aliens like you would do to us if we got drunk in cornfields too much. They don't make us poop. In fact; well, never mind;” she trailed off, embarrassed.She still had vivid memories of her first colonoscopy earlier in the year, drinking gallons of preparatory laxatives, and the resulting quality time with her phone on the toilet. It was an odd experience; not awful, but not one that she could talk to anyone about. Her friends only talked about their kids and their successes, or whose husband cheated on them with some young thing, viciously salivating over their friends' misery with barely concealed glee. Forget about talking through her fears about it with Cal; that wasn't something he was interested in. Not anymore.After the procedure, she had been scared and disoriented from the sedation. For whatever reason, Cal hadn't shown up to give her a ride home. The stupid clinic wouldn't let her leave until someone could drive her home and take care of her. She just sat there getting more and more anxious. Eventually, she called an Uber and begged Xabiib the driver to pretend to be her neighbor; or just someone who cared about her. She spent the ride home trying to say his name correctly while he chuckled and repeated it for her. It was so horrifyingly embarrassing. It's one thing to have no one care about you, but another thing to have the whole world know about it when you were helpless and confused.Tears had rolled down her cheeks and she absently wiped them off with her hand. The young alien sat up and craned his head to look at the liquid on her hand. Karen snorted, "At ease, Holland. It's not poop. You're not getting anything out of me unless you have some heavy-duty magnesium supplements or yogurt."Holland's eyes went wide, "Are humans telepathic???" he gasped. "How did you know my name? Wow, that's so cool! Do it again! What am I thinking about now?"Karen suppressed a smile. Closing her eyes, she pressed her fingers to her temples and swayed from side to side, mysteriously. "I see something; something in the mist; something about; could it be; no, it makes no sense. Is it; a Zen; Zendayan? Does that make any sense to you?" she asked.Holland dropped his curved instrument in shock. "Yes! Yes! We just met them! We negotiated with them for supplies! I was there to carry stuff and; and;” he paused, shrinking in on himself a bit. "They are so beautiful. The Zendayans? So beautiful; and super nice; and just; like wow; I was supposed to just stand there until they were done with the talking and bowing and stuff, but they were just like so beautiful.""Well, what happened?" Karen asked."Captain introduced me and I bowed to them. I was feeling dizzy because, you know, their beautifulness just keeps radiating off them. Then; then; the most beautiful of them; she smiled." Holland stared at nothing, immersed in the memory, then wobbled, tipped over, and lay on the floor staring at the ceiling.Karen bit her lips in amusement. "I see. What did you do then?""I; I; I started talking and then I just couldn't stop because I was just trying to say how beautiful she was and how it just made my mind explode when she smiled and then I might have peed on the floor.""Oh dear," Karen said, cringing in sympathy. "We don't always put forward the face we want to when we are in our feelings, do we?" she said, quietly."Yeah; I've been cleaning poop ever since;” Holland sighed. After a while he sat back up, picked up the curved instrument and began twirling it in his hands. "So, like; what about you? Have you always made horrible noises?" he asked.Karen huffed, but then she saw the oblivious earnestness in Holland's face and sighed. "No; I wasn't always; like this. In fact, until about 30 years ago, I made beautiful noises. I was a pianist," she said."But, wait, they said you were a female;” Holland said, confused."Pee, an, ist," Karen repeated slowly. "I played the piano. It's an instrument; I was a musician. I was a student at Juilliard. It's a school on Earth; it was like a dream to even get in. I was on a scholarship, living in this shoddy apartment with my roommate Dana;” she trailed off, thinking about those days when everything seemed possible."Wait! Are you remembering?" Holland asked, breaking her reverie. "Can I remember it, too? Nobody wants to remember with me ever since the Zendayans, so I'm just left with my own memories and it gets so boring.""What are you talking about?""Well, it's kinda like; um; let me just show you. Computer, scan The Karen and project her memories," Holland ordered. A humming noise filled the room and a beam of light shot out of the wall and passed over her several times. Suddenly, her cell transformed into her shoddy apartment in Newark, New Jersey."Oh my gosh; it's just like it," Karen gasped looking around."Humans dream of getting into this?" Holland said, scrutinizing a cockroach scurrying along the floor."No, silly. This was our apartment across the river. We lived here when we weren't at school. Dana and I moved off campus in our second year. We took jobs on the side through an agency. That was when;” she sat down and a phone in the apartment's bedroom began ringing.A long, pale arm reached out of a pile of blankets on the bed and grabbed the phone. "Hullo?" Dana mumbled. A voice on the phone sounded irate. "Yeah, I'm almost there," she said and hung up.

Send us a textOur group of dead souls fight against Hugh Pinkerton as he attempts to steal the will-o-wisp soul of the mortal remains of Eldath in hopes that Hugh can usurp Eldath's place as a god. Talroth becomes the ultimate thorn in Hugh Pinkerton's side, Xel shoves Chai out of the way from mortal danger, Chai gives into unlimited power, and Javi takes a look into the 9 hells.Thank you all so much for listening to our Trilogy Campaign, and if you have any suggestions for what you want to see next from our crew leave them in the comments below!Make sure to subscribe to We're More Than D&D Characters, and our new Patreon shows: Himbo's Guide to Painting, and our new Star Wars Series.Follow Brookelin's new D&D podcast series We're More Than D&D Characters: https://open.spotify.com/show/68VqAyPVvAiDufYbensgwe?si=4f7199928e6347eeWe hope that you remember when life knocks you flat on your back to keep on rolling!❤️Make GM'ing TTRPG's easy with the all-in-one Oracle RPG App! Click here to check out their Kickstarter! The Oracle RPG App has over 1000 players signed up for playtesting so far, so go to their Kickstarter to learn more on how you can get in on the playtesting now!Support the show

Ebony Femdom Holiday Capture: Himbo Santa Imposter Gets Seduced And Pegged is part of the holiday blog train erotica series this year, and this story finds the Duchess in charge of a handsome himbo stud in need of training and a new home. What happens to the himbo santa? As you can guess from the name, he has met his match with The Duchess. You can read along to the story at https://ebonyfemdomphonesex.com/ebony-femdom-holiday-capture/ and don't forget to like, share, and subscribe if you're enjoying your stay here. You can also support me by sharing my podcast on Twitter X and following me there @DuchessWillow_ and on my new bluesky account @duchesswillow.bsky.social Have a wonderful holiday season and new year! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/duchess-willow/support

America has lots of problems around sex, porn project 2025 and more, but beyond our reactions and creating space to just exist, lets talk about the end of our Palm Springs trip and how many assholes we got to get to know! — MANSCAPEED: Get The Chairman™ Pro today and experience a shave that is as smooth as you deserve. and enjoy this special 20% off with code WATTS20 ~ at http://www.manscaped.com! —— VIIA: 21+, Try VIIA Hemp THCV! https://bit.ly/viiawatts and use code WATTS for 15% OFF!! —— Over 2 Million Butts Love TUSHY. Get 10% off TUSHY with the code WATT at https://hellotushy.com/watt #tushypod —- Watts Socials -Discord: https://discord.gg/bxqDQVcKH7Amps Linktree: https://linktr.ee/pupampKristofer Linktree: https://linktr.ee/mrkristoferSAFEWORD MERCH: http://www.safewordshop.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/wattsthesafewordWatts Your Safeword Podcast:Itunes: http://apple.co/2QkMDwkSpotify: http://spoti.fi/2QjPNjLTwitters:http://twitter.com/WattsTheSafewrdhttp://twitter.com/PupAmphttp://twitter.com/kristoferwestonInstagrams:https://instagram.com/PupAmp/https://instagram.com/mrkristoferwestonhttps://instagram.com/wattsthesafewordFacebook: http://ow.ly/Z5nvMPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/WattsTheSafewordOpening by the magical Aethernaut https://aethernaut.bandcamp.comMusic by Joakim Karud http://youtube.com/joakimkarud

In which Caroline and Hannah interview Lia Riley, celebrate both the release of Puck and Prejudice AND the death of modern literature.Reminders:- Follow Lia Riley on Instagram @LiaRileyAuthor and her podcast, Afternoona Delight!- Order Puck and Prejudice from Bookshop.org, Amazon, Libro.fm, or one of your local indies!Intro: (00:00)- Introducing Lia Riley - (00:44)- Unofficially Exclusive Book Two Title & Teaser - (11:40)- Spilling the Tea on Puck and Prejudice - (14:50)Outro: (1:32:20)Socials:- Follow the podcast @romanceyourtbr on Instagram & Twitter & Youtube & Goodreads- Follow Hannah @fringebookreviews on Instagram, Goodreads, & TikTok, and @fringebookhan on Twitter- Follow Caroline @salty_caroline_reads on TikTok & Instagram, and @salty_caroline_ on Twitter(Disclaimer: Caroline works for Forever Publishing; all opinions are our own and not affiliated with any other party. Image by Freepik.)

RESIST... but only when you're in street cloths because this week because we're joined by R2Shelby2 (on Twitch and of "The Rom Complex" podcast) to discuss episode 30 of Toei's Spider-Man entitled, "You Can Do It, Beautiful Policewoman"! Come along as we chat about issues with "Se7en", smites, pizza mishaps, Spider-Man updates, "Jawbreaker", Henry's exit, getting middle fingered, understanding "Emily In Paris", treading the boards, Sean Marciniak around the 21 minute mark, Himbo vs Dumbo, perceived personalities, spontaneous acts, snowballs, bad VFX, house arrest, revenging siblings, punking family members, & more! Want to hear more from your favorite Marsh Land Media hosts? Hear exclusive shows, podcasts, and content by heading to Patreon.com/MLMpod! Have fan mail, fan art, projects you want us to review, or whatever you want to send us? You can ship directly to us using "James McCollum, PO Box 180036, 2011 W Montrose Ave, Chicago, IL 60618"! Please, learn about Black Lives Matter, the protests, and find ways to donate at https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/. Follow the podcast on Facebook & Twitter @MSSPod, on Instagram @MSSPodcast! Watch James' "Mostly Playin' PlayStation" and our live streams on the MSS YouTube channel! On top of streaming on Facebook & YouTube, we also simul-stream at Twitch.tv/MostlySpeakinSentai! Listen to James' rap music under Marsh Land Monster on Spotify, Apple Music, Google Play, & more by clicking HERE. Send us a voice mail to be played on the show at ‪(773) 270-0490‬! Head over to ⁠www.DarlingHomebody.com⁠ for all of Nicole'sart, the web comic Crumb Bums we make together, buy her merchandise, & watch her draw Gorma creations from the podcast! You can also buy her artwork on shirts and more on ⁠threadless.com/@darlinghomebody⁠! Find her @DarlingHomebody on Instagram, Tumblr and Etsy! Buy her wares! Go purchase some of our original Sentai monster designs on RedBubble then post a pic on social media of you wearing the threads!www.redbubble.com/people/MSSPod/portfolio Find out more about James' other podcasts "Shuffling the Deck", "Sweet Child of Time", "Hit It & Crit It", and "This Movie's Gay" on our website, www.MLMPod.com!!! Plus, download James' albums!

Happy Halloween, spooky listeners! This week on Butt Honestly, Dr. Carlton and Dangilo have conjured up one very special guest for your auditory pleasure—Hector Ramirez, aka the inimitable “Locked Thug.” You might recognize Hector as the “Himbo, sub, cholo PWR BTTM” who has lit up stages from Folsom Street Fair to Kiink.com. This proud Latin jock, recent San Diego transplant, and Colorado's Prepped spokesperson is ready to spill all—activism, go-go, and his leap from go-go dancer to adult performer. Buckle up; it's going to be a ride!The guys dive into the art of spooky season, exploring Locktober and, of course, the classic Hit It or Quit It! Hector takes on listener questions with his unique mix of humor and honesty. Got questions about Locktober? Hector and the guys break down the appeal of the locked-up kink just in time for the season.One listener wants to know: how much water is too much water when douching? And what's the best position for a new bottom? Never fear, Dr. C and Dangilo have the, um, bottom line on all things entry-level. Plus, a listener chimes in asking about the most common side effects of PrEP—and our crew has all the insider tips.As always, they wrap things up with a perfectly spooky take on "What's Your Love Language?" because what's Halloween without a little love…and maybe a lock or two?Grab your Halloween treat (or trick) and tune in for this irresistibly scandalous episode of Butt Honestly! You won't want to miss it!

This week we are so excited to have none other than Aetherius, aka the Vampire Himbo sit at our table! Join us as we talk about what genuine inclusivity and diversity in our community can and does look like, and also getting to chat about all of the amazing upcoming projects that you can find him in!

Alternate titles include: Pull It // That Was Surely Mike // This Is Bedroom Gin? // A Hole ‘Nother Thing // The Last Turd // Mike's Oxhard Lemonade // Algernon, Alger-gone // Goofed Up With Gottle Juice Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. Follow along on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Find other listeners on Discord and Reddit. Soundtrack by WAAAVV. Wolf the Dog played "My Life is Great and It's All My Fault" by Altar Girl.

New juice to wet your beaks. To follow along check out the intro blogs and videos here: https://www.enneagrammer.com/instinct-zones — (3:29) What are the instinct zone stems? — (9:51) Why Alexandra feels like others are doing social wrong / SO2-1 the gossip flake — (13:48) The Social Zones — (16:54) DG's social zone 1 provocations — (27:22) John's SO2-3 A-list player influencer vs Emeka's SO3-2 group container — (31:15) Alexandra's SO2-1 sensitivity to social chemistry — (34:05) Emeka's impractical SP1-2 — (38:10) The Self-pres Zones — (41:26) DG and Alexandra's SP3-2 cozey uniform  — (54:45) Sexual zones / Jealousy and competition in Zone 2 — (1:02:16) Big hormone consummation in SX Zone 3 / DG's Zone 2 Himbo proclivities  — (1:11:27) Your zone stem is the order you do the cycle in that instinct — (1:19:39) Sex drive and SX3-2 Donate to support the show: venmo - @bighormone https://paypal.me/bighormone John and Alexandra are teaching a sexual instinct zoom course via https://www.theenneagramschool.com/sexual-instinct-class The Pain of the Blindspot seminar with John & Alexandra https://www.theenneagramschool.com/painoftheblindspot Find out what type of toxic you are 9w19w88w99w81w99w89w16w76w79w19w86w59w89w19w86w76w79w8 https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Check out Alexandra's astrology-enneagram readings and trash tv gossip: https://www.saturnruled9.com Rediscover the centers of intelligence and object relations with John and Josh's 6-part class: https://www.theenneagramschool.com/developmental-centers Only morons don't have John's book on the instinctual drives: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578784971/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_VZ3VZVEG0M1RY42AWN2T You're a bread person if you've only bought DG's Trifix Booklet less than twice: https://www.enneagrammer.com/store/trifix-venn-booklet-david-gray Call the nota4 hotline with your comments at (323) 696-0647. Or you can also email bhepodcast@gmail.com or DM us with a pre-recorded voice message

You've brought your boyfriend to introduce him to your folks, but there's just one small problem - you haven't come out to them yet. It's up to your goofball boyfriend to keep your secret - if you still even want it kept, that is.Script: WhispurrAudioArt: Mevadaa Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mo and Christina take on their 200th film, 1997's George of the Jungle. Join them as they discuss animal puppetry, breaking the fourth wall, and the merits of a Respectful King vs a Himbo.           Leslie Mann and Brendan Fraser Reunite: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2361253033925946              Our Patreon is LIVE! https://www.patreon.com/moviesthatraisedus We are thrilled to launch our Patreon with exciting perks such as a listener picked bonus movie episode, exclusive Discord, being added to our Close Friends, and a personalized thank you note!   Our merch shop is live! Check out our Raymond the Lifeguard design and so much more!! https://tinyurl.com/vxpbczup    Follow us on instagram @moviesthatraisedus   Follow us on tiktok @moviesthatraiseduspod  Follow us on twitter @mtru_pod     Do you have a movie you want us to cover next? Fill out our form! https://forms.gle/fU5vRfTk8K5Gb7cD8

99% Goblins is a roleplaying podcast. Join 4 friends as they play Dungeons and Dragons.   The adventure continues as our unpaid, Parks-Department interns investigate the kidnapping of the town pretty-boy.   All music was created by Jacob Schlabach.

Catastrophe strikes The Rack, the local gym where Moof, Chadley St. Pierre, Michael Michael, and Alex routinely work out. Local legend has it that Millie Burbank, the small town's millionaire, left her estate to whoever could find it. Can our himbos find the treasure in time to save their gym? Find out as MB guides the cast through Himbo Treasure Hunt, a one-page RPG by Sasha Sienna and Grant Howitt. Don't forget to check out our Patreon for the behind the scenes character creation! TW/CW: dog and human death, clowns, taxidermy, health/nutrition, peer pressure, grave robbing, broken/dislocated bones, serial killing

Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A plague of rats that are bigger, smarter, and more entitled than ever before, and a friendship strong enough to overcome even death itself. *** Get your tickets to the live show right here: boontavista.com/live *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Off-world adventures and a conversation to match! Join us for our off the rails review of X-Men ‘97 - Episode 6 “Lifedeath Part 2”We talk Shakespears, Mutant ED, Nimrod the Himbo, depression, liquud shuts and Onions! Try to keep up!  We hope you enjoy!The ABINGERS#Xmen97 Deathbird #Forge #Storm #Xavier #Lilandra #Gladiator #Shi'arEmpire #MarvelSupport the show

It is our Season 4 Season Finale Gabbers!!! Gayson and Pam are back this time discussing Gayson's love of Melrose Place, being the Men's Specialist at The Gap, Pam gets a surprise gift, reviewing the season finale of "For the Love of DILFS," we get an impromptu visit from SPECIAL GUEST STAR: GUESTIE BESTIE PETER, and oh so much more! So Grab a Daddy or Himbo inspired cocktail or mocktail ready for a good ole fashioned gabfest! Leave us a voicemail with your comments, questions and episode requests at (636) 400-3732‬! Show Notes: Physical: 100 Trailer Melrose Place Theme How Do You Talk to Angel MoonMtnStoneworks ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For the Love of DILFs Season 2 Trailer ⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠OUT TV⁠⁠⁠ All Things Gayson ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Gayson's Amazon Wishlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Out of the Holigay Closet Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Keeping the Yuletide Gay Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Gabbing with Gayson's Website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Gab with Gayson on Facebook! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Become a Patreon Pal! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/gabbingwithgayson/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/gabbingwithgayson/support

We review the results from the Round 2 of our March Magics 2024 Paint By Numbers Edition tournament (Rd 2 curated by Belly). In the pre-roll, Tor makes some memes and we talk about Poor Things (2023). Listen, watch, subscribe to Mike Lester's new podcast, Troll Hole Podcast. Round 3 of our March Magics starts TODAY (Thursday, March 21). Checkout our twitter or join the ILYM Discord to participate. Please subscribe to our Youtube channel! Support us on Patreon! ILYM Plugs: Mike Lester: https://linktr.ee/Justmikelester Zach's Twitter: https://twitter.com/zakagan Tor's Twitter: https://twitter.com/toruggen Micah's Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/bellytelevision Micah's YT: https://www.youtube.com/@bellytelevision Voicemail Deliverer: https://www.youtube.com/@chewysComedyClub Discord: https://discord.gg/VeVs3g2 IG: https://www.instagram.com/Iloveyoumana/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/ILoveYouMana Editing: Micah/Belly

VISIT OUR SPONSORS The Louisiana Renaissance Festival https://www.larf.org Ocean Renaissance Foundation http://www.oceancityrenaissance.com/ The Ren List http://www.therenlist.com RESCU https://RESCU.org The Patrons of the Podcast https://www.patreon.com/RenFestPodcast Happy To Be Coloring Pages https://happytobecoloring.justonemore.website                             SONGS                                                         Tam Lin performed by Celtica Fae from the album An Teaghlachby www.facebook.com/CelticaFae/ Holding Out For a Himbo performed by Chaste Treasure from the album Aurally Ambitious www.chastetreasure.com We Like Our Men performed by Chaste Treasure from the album Aurally Ambitious www.chastetreasure.com Humours of Whiskey performed by Sam Kesler from the album The Toasted Clover www.samkesler.bandcamp.com/     Whiskey In The Jar performed by Sam Kesler from the album The Toasted Clover www.samkesler.bandcamp.com After the Prologue (featuring Lady Prudence).mp3 performed by Shakespeare Approves from the album  Those Midsummer Nights: Shakespeare's Summertime Study Guide www.shakespeareapproves.com/ What About Hero! (featuring Queen Anne's Lace).mp3 performed by Shakespeare Approves from the album  Those Midsummer Nights: Shakespeare's Summertime Study Guide www.shakespeareapproves.com Sheebeg & Sheemore performed by Vince Conaway from the album Mosaic www.vinceconaway.com The Veil performed by Vince Conaway from the album Mosaic www.vinceconaway.com/ She Moved Through The Fair performed by 3 Pints Gone from the album The Beaches Of St. Valery www.facebook.com/3PintsGone Do You Love an Apple performed by A Minstrel Meets a Harper from the album A Minstrel Meets A Harper www.minstrelmeetsharper.bandcamp.com The Storm Is Coming performed by Jackdaws from the album Troubles www.thejackdaws.com/ Cantiga No. 119 performed by Wolgemut from the album Schauspeluden II www.wolgemut.net Perfectly Spherical Duck performed by Sarah Marie Mullen from the album Harper's Bizarre www.facebook.com/sarah.m.rua         Cool Spring Eve performed by Iron Hill Vagabonds from the album Whiskey & Promises www.ironhillvagabonds.com Fig for a Kiss performed by Abby Green from the album Fig for a Kiss www.AbbyGreen.com Wild Rover performed by Bell Book & Canto from the album Poor Life Choices www.bellbookandcanto.com     The Soup Mages performed by Battlelegs from the album The Soup Mages www.battlelegs.bandcamp.com     Haul Away Joe performed by Angus McHugh, Scottish Pirate from the album Rebels Pirates and Cutthroats www.matthughesmusic.com Phil the Fluter's Ball performed by Brian Tinker Leo from the album Symmatree www.facebook.com/tinkersings/ the Whistling Gypsy Rover performed by Dogs in Doublets from the album The Dark Cutesy www.facebook.com/33276488067 Paddy Works On The Railway performed by Maguire Brothers from the album Sibling Rivalry www.facebook.com/maguirebrothers3 Morrisons Jig performed by Celtic Shores from the album Let's Raise Another Pint www.matthughesmusic.com The Cat On the Stairs performed by April Knight from the album Allons Y Time Traveler's Tunes www.aprylknight.com/ The Parting Glass performed by Bardy Pardy from the album Bardy Pardy (Self-Titled) www.bardypardy.com I'll Tell Me Ma performed by Barleyjuice from the album Another Round www.barleyjuice.com Two Bagpipe Meditation Drone with Tibetan Singing Bowls 60 mins performed by Tartanic from the album Unwind www.facebook.com/tartanicofficial HOW TO CONTACT US Post it on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/renfestmusic Email us at renfestpodcast@gmail.com HOW TO LISTEN Apple https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/renaissance-festival-podcast/id74073024 Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/76uzuG0lRulhdjDCeufK15?si=obnUk_sUQnyzvvs3E_MV1g Pandora http://www.pandora.com/ Podbay http://www.podbay.fm/show/74073024 Listennotes http://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/renaissance-festival-podcast-minions-1Xd3YjQ7fWx/  

Sometimes you just have to get to the bottom of something, and that's what we're here for. Today, we're taking an unexpected, unexpectedly thorough at what might be one of the rarest and most maligned heroes in Romancelandia—the Himbo. He's darling, he's sweet, and he's made of nothing but love and abs. Journey with us as we consider the place of these lovable dummies in the pantheon of this great genre of ours. We just released a final 25 tickets to Fated Mates LIVE in Brooklyn, NY, on March 23, at the gorgeous William Vale Hotel! Join us, along with Kate Clayborn, Lauren Billings (one-half of Christina Lauren), Nikki Payne, and a roomful of other romance-obsessed listeners for a night of romance shenanigans at a live taping of Fated Mates! While we're never sure quite how it's going to go, we can guarantee there will be books, booze and bantr…and you'll leave full of joy from all the fun. We've even got The Ripped Bodice on hand to sell books, and the room will be available for hanging with other Firebirds after the live! Preorder Kate's The Other Side of Disappearing three days early (and books from everyone else!) from The Ripped Bodice—links, tickets and more info are at fatedmates.net/live. If you just can't get enough of us, consider joining our Patreon! You get an extra episode of banter every month and access to the Fated Mates discord, full of people who love romance as much as we do. It's pretty great, we have to say. Learn more at patreon.com/fatedmates. Our next read along is Heather Guerre's Preferential Treatment, one of Sarah's favorite romances of 2022. Get it at Amazon, or with your monthly subscription to Kindle Unlimited.Show NotesIf you like Matthew Macfadyen in Pride and Prejudice, perhaps you will also like him on Ripper Street.Coming to Fated Mates Live this month? Go see a musical or a dance performance or eat some pizza when you're in New York.Apparently, we're all talking about himbos, and because of Ken, apparently 2023 was the year of the himbo.A truly excellent himbo: Chris Hemsworth in Ghostbusters.

Gayson and Guestie Bestie Pam head back to DILF Manor for another review of their newest fave reality show "For the Love of DILFs." Will Gayson's crush disappoint him, will he find a new Himbo of his dreams, will Jimmy the Postman continue to be awkward? Find out the answers to all these burning questions as they also gab about nicknames, Gayson's rules for sleeping over and much more. Grab a Stormy Daniels inspired cocktail or mocktail ready for a good ole fashioned gabfest! Leave us a voicemail with your comments, questions and episode requests at (636) 400-3732‬! Show Notes: ⁠⁠For the Love of DILFs Season 2 Trailer ⁠ OUT TV All Things Gayson ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Gayson's Amazon Wishlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Out of the Holigay Closet Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Keeping the Yuletide Gay Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Gabbing with Gayson's Website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Gab with Gayson on Facebook! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Become a Patreon Pal! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/gabbingwithgayson/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/gabbingwithgayson/support

Welcome back to another episode of Upstairs Neighbors where we are answering all the hard hitting questions. Is love truly blind? Will Himbos ever be trust worthy? Does Chelsea from Love is Blind have to enter into witness protection? We will be discussing all of that and more in todays episode. Video Available on our Youtube channel Upstairs Neighbors Podcast ☆ Follow our podcast:  IG/tiktok: @upstairsneighborspod Follow our hosts:  Maya IG: Mayamoto_ Dom IG: Domrobxrts Dom Tiktok: Domnotateenmom    

The listener questions continue! This week Erin M. Evans, B. Dave Walters, and Treavor Bettis answer questions about Describing Fantasy Settings, The Writing Mindset, Adding Points of View, and Revising! Starring: Erin M Evans (Empire of Exiles, Brimstone Angels) https://twitter.com/erinmevans B. Dave Walters (A Darkened Wish, Black Dice Society) https://twitter.com/BDaveWalters Treavor Bettis (Difficulty Class, Champions of Lore) https://twitter.com/TheTreavor Pre-Order Relics of Ruin! Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Relics-Ruin-Books-Usurper-2/dp/031644104X  Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/relics-of-ruin-erin-m-evans/1143299833?ean=9780316441049  Check out B. Dave's Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/bdavewalters  Enroll in B. Dave's 14 Day Writer: https://www.theundisputedacademy.com/14-day-writer-home-page

This episode, our golden boi Bolin gets captured by Amon! Will he get out ok? Will his friends find him in time? Will Josh tear into the TV screen and rescue his Korra Husbando single-handedly? Find out on a very gay, very fun discussion about episode 3, and of course, our favorite Korra Himbo.Check out all of our network's awesome pods!CHECK OUT THE SUPER SCARY PODCASTCome tune in for a livestream on Twitch! Wednesdays at 9:00 PM EST!

Ba-ba-barbarian! One of Disney Channel's strangest 4AM shows is turning twenty this month and we're talking about the wild ride that is "Dave the Barbarian". ----- Follow The Time Mousechine: Instagram Twitter TikTok Patreon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're back for a very special season on A Court of Silver Flames! Hop on the ol' stairmaster with us as we climb towards inner peace, female friendships, and a humongous, fat…stack of smutty library books. It's chapters 1-13 of A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas! Spoiler warning: This episode may contain hints/spoilers for ALL SARAH J. MAAS BOOKS!!! Say hi! TikTok/Instagram: @faewatchpod; faewatchpod@gmail.com Support us! If you enjoy the show and want to chip in a few bucks to help us cover costs, it would be greatly appreciated! Venmo: @faewatchpod

In this episode of Thirsty on Toon, we get tipsy while talking royal rear ends, our romance trope origin stories, and get surprisingly deep in the weeds on controversies around queer publishing while reviewing the queer romance com Red White & Royal Blue!Thirsty on Toon is a member of the Talking Comics family of podcasts. Thirsty on Toon was co-created by Bronwyn Kelly-Seigh and Chris Ceary of Talking Comics and Gotham Outsiders, respectively. You can find Thirsty on Toon on Twitter @thirstyontoon. Bronwyn Kelly-Seigh and Chris Ceary are your co-hosts for this mature-rated podcast series.

In this episode of their special “Rom Com Road-Trip” series, Chelsea loads Madison onto her broomstick for an enchanting ride with a little bit of hocus and a little bit of pocus. One drunken night has unintended consequences for asexual adult-toy-store-manager protagonist (Merritt Wever) when a love spell conjures a work of art (Pedro Pascal). Witches, vampires, and were-panthers? Oh my! Better grab a bloody Capri-Sun and strap in. Connect With Us - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/loveatfirstscreening/ - Email: loveatfirstscreening@gmail.com Production - Hosts: Chelsea Ciccone and Madison Hill - Music: Madison Hill - Artwork: Chelsea Ciccone --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/loveatfirstscreening/message

This film had all the earmarks of a hit, yet it was a critical and commercial failure. We adore this take on a Pygmalion-Frankenstein story, and it's vibrant art direction. Support the Show Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=84434074 Follow the Show: @freshmoviepod on Tiktok, Instagram and Twitter Follow Chelsea @Chelseathepope Follow Victoria on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/vicrohar/ Email the Show abreathoffreshmovie@gmail.com Shop the Store: http://tee.pub/lic/bvHvK3HNFhk  Show Art by Cecily Brown Theme Music "A Movie I'd Like to See"Arranged & Performed by Katrina EresmanWritten by Al HarleyYouTube Channel  

Put on your imagination caps because it's time to make Dungeons & Dragons characters! This episode, Cullen guides Hannah through the DND character creation process. We do lots of simple math, Cullen confesses that he's a DBU alumnus, and Hannah revels in her love of high-fiber berries.   Research for this episode: Dungeons & Dragons: 5th Edition   ====================================   Watch Us on YouTube!    Follow Our Adventures on Social Media:   @notmyfantasypod Instagram TikTok   Research & Writing by Cullen Callaghan.  This episode was edited by Hannah Sylvester.   Cover Art by William Callaghan Intro Music: "The Quest" by Scott Little.

The ultimate crime committing pair consisting of two of the world's greatest himbos. Enjoy

Rouge by Mona Awad Andy and Dani get a little blush. It happened everyone… We finally did it… We read a GREAT book. No seriously we could cry. Maybe we already did. Come enter the super creepy, culty, collagen filled beauty book with us.

The Champions of Greyhaven face off against the behemoth Vecna for the world's fate. Grom dives deep into purple goop to save his friend, Zag makes good on an old promise, Selene breaks her Ahlpike, and Efimia has a family reunion with her chosen and blood families alike.Thank you all for listening and supporting our show. We could not have done any of this without your help and support. I am so grateful for this opportunity to share our story with you. Thank you for being an amazing halfling, giant, or somewhere in-between, and we hope you remember when life knocks you flat on your back, all you gotta do is keep rolling. Your Friend and Dungeon Master, Kade BackusP.S. Knocked Prone will return in December 2023Support the show

Knock, knock, who's there? Himbo door werewolves, tree glory holes, and a crazed murderer. On this episode of the Smut Your Mouth podcast Brianna, Kenzie and Sheena discuss "Unhinged" by Vera Valentine, and answer the age old question: can doors be sexy? (Spoiler alert, the answer is yes)The Smut Your Mouth podcast is not your grandma's book club. We read romance of all kinds, and talk all things spicy, saucy, sassy and nasty. https://linktr.ee/smutyourmouthpodcast

In this episode, Rachel Teichman, LMSW and Victor Varnado, KSN team up as co-hosts and narrators to explore the intriguing concept of a "Himbo." Together, they delve into the definition of this modern term, which refers to an attractive but often intellectually-challenged male, and discuss how it has gained popularity in contemporary culture.Produced by Victor Varnado & Rachel TeichmanFull Wikipedia article here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Himbo?fbclid=IwAR0Nuuu2cKWS-KGiq2dxD0zvh6oAr3M-8ghRElCI03xslTi7_rlFt4nRdj0WE APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT ON PATREON!https://www.patreon.com/wikilistenpodcastFind us on social media!https://www.facebook.com/WikiListenInstagram @WikiListenTwitter @Wiki_ListenYoutubeGet bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jason Hellerman is an award-winning film and TV writer. His feature screenplay, Shovel Buddies, made the top ten of the annual Black List and was purchased and produced by AwesomenessTV. Since then, he's completed feature film and television work for a variety of producers and directors. Currently, he's writing an action comedy for Sylvester Stallone's production company called My Masterpiece, which is set to star Academy Award-nominated actress Maria Bakalova. His latest spec, Himbo, appeared on the 2022 Black List. For more of his work, go to: https://nofilmschool.com/u/jasonhellerman Want more? Steal my first book, Ink by the Barrel - Secrets From Prolific Writers right now for free. Simply head over to www.brockswinson.com to get your free digital download and audiobook. If you find value in the book, please share it with a friend as we're giving away 100,000 copies this year. It's based on over 400 interviews here at Creative Principles. Enjoy! If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It only takes about 60 seconds and it really helps convince some of the hard-to-get guests to sit down and have a chat (simply scroll to the bottom of your iTunes Podcast app and click “Write Review"). Enjoy the show!

We had the pleasure of interviewing Curtis Waters over Zoom video!Nepali-Canadian alternative artist Curtis Waters returns with his sophomore LP BAD SON. Packed with an eclectic mix of audacious pop bops, punchy rap cuts, and courageously vulnerable alternative tracks, BAD SON is visceral and compelling, an intimate glimpse into Curtis' journey as a young man of color navigating the highs and lows of fame. Through dual single release “HIMBO” and “GOD'S LONELY MAN” Curtis finds the ethos at the heart of BAD SON, creating the personas of The Himbo and The Jester to showcase the opposite ends of the spectrum of success. On the fourteen track LP, Curtis explores the duality of stardom and his duality of self: an immigrant and the son of Nepali immigrants maneuvering through the entertainment industry and its ideas of who gets to be on the top.More Info: After bursting onto the scene with viral hit “Stunnin'” in 2020, Curtis Waters has made a name for himself as an up and coming pop icon through his witty, topical lyricism and unflinching creative honesty. On his debut album Pity Party (which has amassed over a billion streams) Curtis explored themes of mental health, notions of grandiosity, and reconciling his complicated multicultural identity through a journey of self-exploration. His transparency and veracity have resonated with many, securing him a loyal fanbase. His 2022 single "MANIC MAN" has racked up over 5 million streams and ushered Curtis into a new era of creative expression as he collaborated with artists like TiaCorine, Shrimp, and greek to define his new sound. The 23-year old singer, songwriter, & producer has earned over 150K YouTube subscribers, 55K IG followers, and 5.6 million likes on Tik-Tok - earning him over 100M views across platforms. He has been covered by the likes of Rolling Stone, Billboard, and Pigeons & Planes, partnered as an ambassador with MCM, Mercedes, and Haagen Dazs, and has collaborated with iconic artists like Kim Petras, renforshort, and Brevin Kim. His BAD SON LP is a true immigrant story, a reflection on a young, brown creative being thrown into the mainstream overnight, while navigating deep issues of self-doubt and cultural identity along the way.We want to hear from you! Please email Hello@BringinitBackwards.comwww.BringinitBackwards.com#podcast #interview #bringinbackpod #CurtisWaters #BadSon #NewMusic #ZoomListen & Subscribe to BiBhttps://www.bringinitbackwards.com/followFollow our podcast on Instagram and Twitter! https://www.facebook.com/groups/bringinbackpodThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/4972373/advertisement

Your bestie is once again crashing on your couch, and he is DETERMINED to make you ask your crush on a date - no matter HOW terrified you are.Part 2: Coming Soon!Script: Me! (Available here)Art: possumpopedavey Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, Curtis Waters sits down with the Tunes & Tumblers regulars to chat about his newest album BAD SON but also, more importantly, his dream to one day create a video game where you can beat up Jeff Bezos. And with Kaylyn OOO on medical leave, Anthony was left to his own devices and whipped up a few Himalayan Himbos, aka our first cocktail to feature a splash of Gatorade. Because dear listeners, electrolytes are important. So pull up a stool and join us. Cheers! *** Please enjoy responsibly *** "Himalayan Himbo" Mango Purée • 6oz diced mango • ½ cup water • 1oz agave syrup • 1 cardamom pod (lightly crushed) • Pinch of salt • 1 teaspoon lime zest Cocktail • 3 oz mezcal • 3 oz mango puree • 2 oz orange Gatorade • 2 oz lime juice • Ice • 1 teaspoon kosher salt • ½ teaspoon powdered Dalle Khursani chilis • Lime wheels for garnish To make the fruit purée, combine the mango, water, agave syrup, cardamom pod and salt in a medium saucepan. Bring to a simmer over medium high heat and then turn off the heat (you just barely want to cook the fruit). Let the mixture cool until warm to the touch, about 10–15 minutes. Transfer the mango mixture, removing and discarding the cardamom pods to a blender along with the lime zest and blend until smooth. Taste and add more agave syrup to reach desired sweetness, if necessary. Transfer the syrup to an airtight container and store in the refrigerator for up to a week. To make the Himbo, fill a pitcher with ice. Add the mezcal, mango lime purée, Orange Gatorade, ounce lime juice and a pinch of salt and stir until fully chilled, about 2 minutes.  Place the remaining ounce of lime juice in a shallow bowl or plate. Combine the salt and the powdered chilies in another shallow bowl or plate and mix well. To serve, dip the rim of a glass in the lime juice and then in the chili salt mixture. Fill each glass with the Himbo. Garnish each cocktail with a lime wedge or wheel, raise your glass and enjoy! Curtis Waters on Spotify Curtis Waters on Instagram Curtis Waters on Twitter Curtis Waters on TikTok   Tune & Tumblers "What Have You Been Listening To?" Playlist: https://spoti.fi/3xkPn25   Theme Music by New New Girlfriend   Tunes & Tumblers on Instagram Tunes & Tumblers on Twitter Tunes & Tumblers on Facebook Tunes & Tumblers on Spotify  Call or Text the Tunes & Tumblers Hotline: (626) 604-6477 Cover art by Travis Williams   Tunes & Tumblers is a member of the Pantheon Media family of podcasts --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/tunes--tumblers/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Curtis Waters sits down with the Tunes & Tumblers regulars to chat about his newest album BAD SON but also, more importantly, his dream to one day create a video game where you can beat up Jeff Bezos. And with Kaylyn OOO on medical leave, Anthony was left to his own devices and whipped up a few Himalayan Himbos, aka our first cocktail to feature a splash of Gatorade. Because dear listeners, electrolytes are important. So pull up a stool and join us. Cheers! *** Please enjoy responsibly *** "Himalayan Himbo" Mango Purée • 6oz diced mango • ½ cup water • 1oz agave syrup • 1 cardamom pod (lightly crushed) • Pinch of salt • 1 teaspoon lime zest Cocktail • 3 oz mezcal • 3 oz mango puree • 2 oz orange Gatorade • 2 oz lime juice • Ice • 1 teaspoon kosher salt • ½ teaspoon powdered Dalle Khursani chilis • Lime wheels for garnish To make the fruit purée, combine the mango, water, agave syrup, cardamom pod and salt in a medium saucepan. Bring to a simmer over medium high heat and then turn off the heat (you just barely want to cook the fruit). Let the mixture cool until warm to the touch, about 10–15 minutes. Transfer the mango mixture, removing and discarding the cardamom pods to a blender along with the lime zest and blend until smooth. Taste and add more agave syrup to reach desired sweetness, if necessary. Transfer the syrup to an airtight container and store in the refrigerator for up to a week. To make the Himbo, fill a pitcher with ice. Add the mezcal, mango lime purée, Orange Gatorade, ounce lime juice and a pinch of salt and stir until fully chilled, about 2 minutes.  Place the remaining ounce of lime juice in a shallow bowl or plate. Combine the salt and the powdered chilies in another shallow bowl or plate and mix well. To serve, dip the rim of a glass in the lime juice and then in the chili salt mixture. Fill each glass with the Himbo. Garnish each cocktail with a lime wedge or wheel, raise your glass and enjoy! Curtis Waters on Spotify Curtis Waters on Instagram Curtis Waters on Twitter Curtis Waters on TikTok   Tune & Tumblers "What Have You Been Listening To?" Playlist: https://spoti.fi/3xkPn25   Theme Music by New New Girlfriend   Tunes & Tumblers on Instagram Tunes & Tumblers on Twitter Tunes & Tumblers on Facebook Tunes & Tumblers on Spotify  Call or Text the Tunes & Tumblers Hotline: (626) 604-6477 Cover art by Travis Williams   Tunes & Tumblers is a member of the Pantheon Media family of podcasts --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/tunes--tumblers/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Come hang out with us, Crushes! We have rapid fires, favorite soccer headlines, and recaps of our favorite matches. Then stick around because we're joined by Katherine! She shares her soccer love story, how she's gotten involved in the soccer community, and reminds us why USL is building the best fan culture. @soccer_crush @KCHReed

Today, we consider the himbo — sweet hotties who are maybe a little naive about the world, but are always having a good time. One of the greatest himbos of our age is Lance Arroyo on Max's comedy The Other Two. Host Brittany Luse sits down with actor Josh Segarra, who plays Lance, to talk about what makes an ideal himbo and why they're speaking to the greater culture and our hearts.You can follow us on Twitter @NPRItsBeenAMin and email us at ibam@npr.org.

He's hot. He's dumb. He's also a feminist ally. Househusband. Beef pillow. White knight. Clinically depressed golden retriever. And climate activist. Truly, what the f*** is a himbo? Is he a person who pops up in our everyday lives? Or is he just a misguided coping mechanism because women are (1) h*rny, and (2) feel let down by the real men around them? Hannah and Maia discuss the Himbo, his evolution from Himbo-Erectus™ to Himbo-Sapien™, and whether or not, like Maia's imaginary middle school boyfriend Derek, we'll grow out of him one day. Support us on Patreon and get juicy bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/rehashpodcast Intro and Outro song by our talented friend, Ian Mills: https://linktr.ee/ianmillsmusic SOURCES: Lauren Bans “Bimbo with Balls! The Rise of the Himbo” (2012), GQ https://www.gq.com/story/himbos-dumb-muscle-movie-characters-actors-magic-mike Rita Kempley “THE HIMBO ALL POWERFUL AND ALL BEEF! IT'S THE REEL MEN!!!”, (1988) The Washington Post https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/1988/06/17/the-himbo-all-powerful-and-all-beef-its-the-reel-men/5171832b-d84e-4fd2-b15b-00e32d5603b6/ “GEORGE, GEORGE, GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE A TREE-SWINGING BRENDAN FRASER ENJOYED PUN AND GAMES OF MAKING NEW DISNEY FILM” (1997), The Morning Call, https://www.mcall.com/1997/07/18/george-george-george-of-the-jungle-a-tree-swinging-brendan-fraser-enjoyed-pun-and-games-of-making-new-disney-film/ Chris Heath “The Quiet Man: The Riddle of Keanu Reeves” (2000), Rolling Stone https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-news/the-quiet-man-the-riddle-of-keanu-reeves-97442/ Nathan Ma, “Let's be real, who doesn't love a himbo?” (2020), i-D https://i-d.vice.com/en/article/8895az/himbo-and-modern-masculinity Patrick Schuckmann “Masculinity, the Male Spectator and the Homoerotic Gaze” (1998) Amerikastudien/American Studies Marlowe Granados, “The Bimbo's Laugh: An Old Hollywood stereotype makes a comeback.” (2021) The Baffler https://www.jstor.org/stable/27087342?read-now=1#page_scan_tab_contents Justin Myers “Being a himbo is no bad thing. Here's why” (2020) GQ https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/lifestyle/article/himbo-meaning Drew Ayers “Bodies, Bullets, and Bad Guys: Elements of the Hardbody Film” (2008), Film criticism “Himbos” Know Your Meme https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/himbo

Josh Adam Meyers and Justin Silver, Comedians and hosts of "Himbos" join Shannon and Figs! They talk about where Figs rates on the Himbo spectrum, Shannons results from her new personal trainer, what makes a bimbro vs a bimbo, getting in a fight over a line at a bookstore, a mysterious ghost in an apartment and so much more!Air Date: 1/31/23*Send in your stories for Bad Dates, Bad Things, and Scary Things to...* thethingispodcast@gmail.com Support our sponsorhttps://yokratom.com/The Thing Is...Podcast Merch available athttps://podcastmerch.com/collections/the-thing-isThe Thing Is... Airs every Tuesday, at 5:30pm ET on the GaS Digital Network! The newest 20 episodes are always free, but if you want access to all the archives, watch live, chat live, access to the forums, and get the show five days before it comes out everywhere else - you can subscribe now at gasdigitalnetwork.com and use the code TTI to get a one week free trial.Follow the show on social media! Josh Adam Meyers - All Socials: @joshadammeyersJustin Silver - All Socials: @iamjustinsilverMike Figs -Instagram: @comicmikefigsShannon Lee -Instagram: @shannonlee6982 To advertise your product on GaS Digital podcasts please email jimmy@gasdigitalmarketing.com with a brief description about your product and any shows you may be interested in advertising onSubscribe On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheThingIsPodcastSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

midroll- 28:15Jay deals with an aggressive pornstar down at The SDR Show and Dan talks about living with a Himbo!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

Jay and Christine see Rage Against the Machine again with Josh Adam Meyers and there is a good amount of Himbo behavior to discuss.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com