Surviving the Lion's Den

This show is ending due to health issues and no funds to support it. Thank you for listening.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

On today's show I am interviewing Susheela Varky, Esq. Attorney, Director of the Center for Family Advocacy and Legal Assistance for Victim-Immigrants of Domestic Abuse.She grew up in an immigrant violent home, where her dad abused my mom. It was always something that was hidden. None of her friends knew what happened behind closed doors. Her personal experiences help her to get it: she understands the victim's perspective, from the children's perspective, and even from the abuser's perspective. She doesn't condone any abusive behavior, but she understands how people end up like this.If you would like to reach out to her for assistance, please contact her at the following:  T: (804) 351-5274  |  E: susheela@vplc.orgSupport the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Still in recovery from the neck surgery. My jaw is swollen, and my words are slurred. I was just informed by the doctor that I might not be able speech normally for several weeks.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Still in recovery from the neck surgery. My jaw is swollen, and my words are slurred. I was just informed by the doctor that I might not be able speech normally for several weeks.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Unfortunately, I will be out of the office for another surgery in my neck. I will be doing replays and out of office for each episode for the month.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Unfortunately, I will be out of the office for another surgery in my neck. I will be doing replays and out of office for each episode for the month.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Unfortunately, I will be out of the office for another surgery in my neck. I will be doing replays and out of office for each episode for the month.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

I had a stroke last week and I am still recovering. I am replaying this episode. Is the modern workplace at the center of a massive public health crisis? What is workplace bullying? Who gets bullied and who does the bullying? How can bullying affect you? How does bullying affect the workplace? Do you have any legal rights ? These are just a few of the questions we will be answering in today's show on Workplace Abuse/Bullying.If you are being bullied at work below are some helpful ideas:Document the bullying.Save physical evidence.Report the bullying.Review work policies. Seek legal guidance. Reach out to others. If that still doesn't help reach out to the link below.https://healthyworkplacebill.org/Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Why do family members behave in toxic ways? What does it mean when a toxic family member is controlling you? When do you start to rebuild trust or do you have to cut off all contact to your family? How long do you stay away from you family? Can you ever rebuild trust for your family?These are the questions we tackle on this episode. Please tune into listen and decide for yourself.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

This is a replay of Season 3 Episode 3, all about letting anger poisoning your life. Have you ever felt like the people who hurt you are doing well while you are suffering? Have you wished for God, the Devil, or anyone to exact vengeance on your abuser? Or are you that person who feels uneasy when everything isn't going wrong?All of these are examples of poisoning yourself; being so hurt or angry that all you want is for someone else to pay for your pain. The bitterness inside you poisons all of your actions outwards.We will talk about this on my episode today and find out the many forms self-poisoning can take.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

This is a replay while I get my health under control. I hope this topic helps you.I get asked all the time how I made it through the trauma. How did I remain sane and not harm my family? How did I not end up working the streets or strung out on drugs? How did I survive the many suicide attempts?  The answer is GOD put people in my life to keep me sane at crucial moments in my life. Whenever, I was feeling my lowest and I couldn't take anymore, GOD gave me a lifeline. Listen to this episode and find out what happened.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

This is a replay from last year. Kids will be kids, right? So they are and fight a little it is normal, it's it? Sibling rivalry is and can be a normal part of children growing up. However, it can turn abusive easily and if we are not careful, we can miss it. Almost 80 % of children experience some form of sibling abuse. So how do you know if your children are just acting out normal growing pains or if they have turned abusive. It is one of the most under-reported mainly because people deny how serious the problem can become. Why would siblings turn abusive? We will discuss that on my show today. I have a list of some reasons why the love/hate relationship between children can turn abusive.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

This is a replay from last year.  Every child who has ever been abused by a family always ask the question of "this can't be my life". It is the disbelief that this is happening to them. What did I say? What is wrong with mommy, daddy, brother, sister, etc?  The older you get and the more it happens to you, you feel like you are living two lives. The reality is what everyone outside the family sees and this horror story is a bad movie. You feel like screaming but you know it won't help. So you just try to survive the attack and crawl back into your own mind to escape. This is for all those children trying to survive until you can get help.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Replay:  When adult survivors of rape and/or abuse get assistance or go to the police they have to prove what happened. Sometimes they have physical scars, bruises or marks are their proof. Some survivors have emails or recordings of the abuser. Some of them even have video that they set up to catch the abuser.  However, us adult survivors of childhood abuse don't have that evidence. We were abused in our family's home or our family's relative home. We were abused back in the days before cell phones, "nanny" cameras and micro cameras. We were abused back in the days before rape kits for children weren't even thought about.  It became a "She said...Family Said", battle and the family won. This is what my episode is about, the battle for the survivor's ability to tell the truth versus the family's battle to keep their secrets.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

This is a replay of my introductory episode the gives an idea about the host, the show and why it was created.  It gives an honest discussion about abusive dysfunctional families and the affects it has on the survivors.personal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional familiesSupport the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

I have had major surgery. I have lost my voice and this is one of my favorite episodes. Date rape is a form of acquaintance rape and dating violence. The two phrases are often used interchangeably, but date rape specifically refers to a rape in which there has been some sort of romantic or potentially sexual relationship between the two parties.However, it comes down to "he said versus she said". Or the victim versus the predator. This kind of rape is the hardest to confirm and both sides normally see the events differently. All this makes convincing people that a crime happened, extremely difficult. I know the issues firsthand because I was date raped. Our episode will discuss date rape and why the lines are still blurry to some people. Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

I have had major surgery. I have lost my voice and this is one of my favorite episodes. Have you gone to group therapy and felt insecure?  Have you thought you found a friend or soulmate only to find out that they weren't? Have you trusted someone in a session only to find out that they're a fraud? Going to group therapy or NA meetings for the first time can be scary. Most abuse survivors have been trained to not talk about their traumatic experiences. So when you make yourself vulnerable enough to share your experiences, you don't want anyone to take advantage of you. However, be warned there can be users in your group meetings.This is the subject of today's episode: "Beware of the Wolves in NA Meetings."Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

I have had major surgery, and this is one of my favorite episodes. Some people are lucky born into families they adore spending time with their loving family. They have issues and they work it out as a family. , However, people like me see an incoming call from my mother and it triggers an anxiety that dates back to childhood. I leave family gatherings feeling angry and exhausted. Toxic family dynamics can have far-reaching impact on our lives as adults.Does anyone else feel that way sometimes? This is what this episode is about.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Did you grow up hearing a ‘story' about yourself, including via smear campaigns or subtle forms of ‘reality distortion' (aka ‘gaslighting ‘), in which you were made out to be somehow bad, different, worthless, ‘less than', or defective?Were you the problem child in your family-of-origin (you may even still be struggling to escape these stifling roles today)?Do you identify as being codependent or highly sensitive and empathic?Were you the truth teller in your family? Was it implied that you were emotionally / mentally ill or that you were bad, wrong, or a liar when you spoke your mind and/or contradicted the family story being promoted by one or both of your parents and/or a dominant sibling?These are all part of a verbal form of abuse called: Scapegoating. This is our topic for today. Please turn in to listen.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

So, when it comes to an argument are you a "turtle" or a "wasp"? So, do you hide from disagreements or arguments, like a turtle in its shell? Or do you go on the attack and keep doing one-line stingers like a wasp? The answer is you shouldn't do either one. Both ways are only making the disagreement or argument worse. Neither way addresses the issues at hand nor make anyone feel better. On this episode we discuss healthy ways to handle arguments or disagreements that both parties can express their feelings. Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Why are women were treated as second class citizens?  In general, women have been discriminated against in many areas of life such as education, employment, politics, and social status. Women have been regarded as inferior to men and have been denied equal rights and opportunities. This has been reinforced through various systems such as the economic system where men are regarded as breadwinners and therefore paid more than women. On this episode we discuss the premise of "The Power", an adaptation from the novel by Naomi Alderman and how much it is a mirror image of 2023 society. Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Good Afternoon,  I have been diagnosed with spinal issue and will be out of the office for surgery. Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Unhealthy relationships can be damaging to one's mental, emotional, and physical health. Signs of an unhealthy relationship can include a lack of communication and trust, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and disregard for boundaries. The consequences of staying in an unhealthy relationship can include low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and physical health issues. Seeking help from a trusted friend, family member, or professional is crucial in ending an unhealthy relationship and starting the healing process. Remember that everyone deserves to be in a healthy and loving relationship.This is what I will be discussing on this episode today.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Have you ever experienced an traumatic kind of event? Have you had nightmares about the event(s) or thought about the event(s) when you did not want to? Have you tried hard not to think about the event(s) or went out of your way to avoid situations that reminded you of the event(s)? Have you been constantly on guard, watchful, or easily startled? Have you felt numb or detached from people, activities, or your surroundings? Have you felt guilty or unable to stop blaming yourself or others for the event(s) or any problems the event(s) may have caused? If you answer "yes" to any three above items you might have PTSD. Don't worry you are not alone:About 7 or 8 out of every 100 people (or 7-8% of the population) will have PTSD at some point in their lives.About 8 million adults have PTSD during a given year.About 10 of every 100 women (or 10%) develop PTSD sometime in their lives compared with about 4 of every 100 men (or 4%). Learn more about women, trauma and PTSD.This is our topic on this episode as we explore PTSD; the symptom, types and how to get assistance.PTSD Hotline - 866-210-1303 | Call for free 24/7 SupportSupport the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Do you have persistent fears of being abandoned?  Do you have a history of unstable and chaotic relationships? Do you often feel like you do not know who you are or what you believe? Are you impulsive In ways that are potentially self-damaging? Are you highly reactive and prone to rapid and intense mood swings? Do you get paranoid or shut down during stress?These are just a few signs of borderline personality disorder (BPD). This is our topic for today's episode. Listen in and found out how this disorder can affect you both short term and long term. Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Most people live a long time in today's world. You can live to be approximately 73.5 for males and 79.3 years for females. This means that approximately 643,860 hours for men and 694,668 hours for women.So what kind of mark are you making in this world with all that time. The good news is that time can be extended by a few extra years with medical assistance. So, after you leave this Earth what are you leaving behind to prove you actually lived. I don't mean existed or survived but LIVED. This is what my post is all about today. I'm Still Alive which means I still make a mark and difference.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

When you are a survivor of childhood abuse you can truly lose your identity. The continuous abuse and blame that is placed on the victim can affect their mental view of themselves.This is the topic of this episode.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

What is LGBTQIA ?  LGBTQIA+ is an abbreviation for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, intersex, asexual, and more. These terms are used to describe a person's sexual orientation or gender identity.So, I know your next question. What is sexuality? Why do we even have to labels for people's sexuality? We discuss this on our episode today.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Do you feel like you are stuck in a loop?  Do you keep replaying the past hurts, wrongs or abuse?  Or do you live in a rose color version of your past? Do you let your past define who you are now?I understand, I have lived there before for many years. I asked myself why do I keep focusing on the past instead of the future?  Am I just the survivor of abuse or am I more? Are your just a survivor or victim?You don't have to be, and I didn't stop at just being a survivor. I became so much more. This what this episode is all about...focusing on my future. Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

You may have asked questions like “why do I procrastinate so much?” or “why do I keep procrastinating even though I know that it's bad for me?” How does procrastination affect your life? What is procrastination and how can you overcome it? Can fear sabotage your desire to move forward?This is our topic for today's episode. We will talk about why people procrastinate and how to break the habit.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Once upon a time...it is the beginning of most fairy tales. You have the damsel in distress and the handsome man who comes to save the day. This is the stories we have been told for years and when you are an abused child you want to believe in someone that can save you. However, we get sad and depressed when the white knight never comes. We keep praying for a savior, because we don't think we can save ourselves. Some of us even get mad at GOD or whatever, religious being we pray too because we feel like we have been abandoned. It is a Cinderella Complex of waiting for our hero to save the day. We don't understand that just because no one comes doesn't mean that our spiritual entity has abandoned us. Delay doesn't mean denial.  This is our topic on today's episode.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

I get asked all the time, how I made it through the trauma. How did I remain sane and not harm my family? How did I not end up working the streets or strung out on drugs? How did I survive the many suicide attempts? The answer is GOD put people in my life to keep me sane at crucial moments in my life. Whenever, I was feeling my lowest and I couldn't take anymore, GOD gave me a life line.Listen to this episode and find out what happened. Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

On this episode I will discuss what I gave up for Lent this year and it might surprise you.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

This is a replay of an episode I think was in season 3. We discuss drug addiction, and it is a hard process to recovery. Whoever said recovery was easy lied. Recovery is a long and painful process. It can take people years or even decades to fully recover from an addiction. But always remember that the addiction, your addiction, is not the root of your issue. You can never be free of your addiction until you get to the core cause of why you started. This is what we will be discussing today on this episode.For me, I suffered with an addiction for years, and relapsed multiple times, until I realized that my core issue wasn't the addiction at all. The addiction was only a symptom of a deeply rooted disease. And like any other disease, you have to kill the cause or remove it. Pleas join in as we discuss how recovery is a bitch.personal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional familiesSupport the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

My health issues are growing but I don't want to stop doing my podcast, it is a calling I feel drawn to do. So here is a podcast I recorded around last year, that deals with Forgiveness.I have been reminded that my podcast may seem like I haven't forgiven my family for their part in my pain. I have but I can understand the confusion. As a writer, actress and producer of content, I have the ability to channel the emotions I was feeling when I was abused, at any stage of my life. Just like actresses who play a role and drawn on real life experiences. Please listen to this replay of my podcast and understand my process of forgiveness.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Who are you? Who do you want to be? Can you even recognize yourself, anymore? Have you been pushed to the edge and was about to do something out of character? Do you really want to change?We are discussing who are you and can you change, if you want too? And, like the late Michael Jackson sang:I'm gonna make a changeFor once in my lifeIt's gonna feel real goodGonna make a differenceI'm starting with the man/woman in the mirrorSupport the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Have you ever thought that the world would be better off without you? Have you ever felt like I can't take this anymore? Have you ever felt like you were all alone and no one would care if you died? Have you ever needed help, but no one was listening?I have felt that way many times before. In fact, I attempted to kill myself 4 separate times until I realized, that I didn't want to die. I NEEDED HELP !Sometimes a suicide attempt is a LOUD cry for help with an issue so big, that the victim feels like they are drowning. Based on the 2018 National Survey of Drug Use and Mental Health it is estimated that 0.5 percent of the adults aged 18 or older made at least one suicide attempt. This translates to approximately 1.4 million adults. Adult females reported a suicide attempt 1.5 times as often as males.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

What does the Bible say...the first person without sin cast the first stone. So why is it when I tell people I was a "HO", they want to judge me. Why do people want to judge you on your past mistakes? Everyone over the age of 12 has made mistakes. Holding someone to their past mistakes, is like trying to stop the sun from setting. Time moves on and tomorrow's sun set won't be like todays and sometimes the sun doesn't shine. It doesn't mean that the sun will never shine.Everything has a season and a reason. So maybe you could hear my reason I was a "HO" and not pass judgement on me or other people who have taken the same wrong path.Listen to a survivor's story and maybe you can see how a "HO" turn into an advocate! Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Why do we survivors beat ourselves up? Why are we so quick to do self-hatred?  Why do we tell ourselves we are failures when we make a mistake?We are not failures; we are survivors of horrific nightmarish abuse.  We have trust issues that we have to work through. Making mistakes are a part of being human. Jesus trusted Judas and he betrayed him to be killed. Jesus didn't see that as a failure on Judas part but just part of a bigger plan.  When you are discouraged after you've made mistakes at something, remember it took Thomas Edison's 10,000 tries before he arrived at the solution that forever changed the world.I have 4 steps that can help you deal with making mistakes in your life. Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

When adult survivors of rape and/or abuse get assistance or go to the police they have to prove what happened. Sometimes they have physical scars, bruises or marks are their proof. Some survivors have emails or recordings of the abuser. Some of them even have video that they set up to catch the abuser. However, us adult survivors of childhood abuse don't have that evidence. We were abused in our family's home or our family's relative home. We were abused back in the days before cell phones, "nanny" cameras and micro cameras. We were abused back in the days before rape kits for children weren't even thought about. It became a "She said...Family Said", battle and the family won. This is what my episode is about, the battle for the survivor's ability to tell the truth versus the family's battle to keep their secrets.Support the showpersonal growth, childhood trauma, Abusive dysfunctional families

Happy New Year...are you ready with your resolutions? We always have the same ole list: Lose Weight The most common resolution Americans make each year is to lose weight. Exercise More Getting more exercise is another popular resolution that is often brokenQuit Smoking Improve Finances Focus on Self-Care My episode today isn't about any resolution, it's about a Declaration. I am declaring I am tired of holding back to make others feel good about themselves! I am ready to fight for myself and my right to have answers. I refuse to keep quiet about my family's little black lies. In weddings they say, "Speak now or hold your piece forever". I will not keep my family's secret anymore. Find out who my REAL FATHER is because I am ready to fight, now !!!!

Why is it that some people only see you for your past mistakes? Why do others try keep you at a moment and place they feel comfortable? For example, your parents still see you as their little baby girl or boy. Your old friends from high school, still see you as the nerd, jock or even slut. Is it your fault for how people see you or is it theirs? Should you try to change their minds or let them believe what they want too?This is our topic for today's Podcast.

Fear, doubt, hesitation and low esteem are just a few things that can cause you to miss out on an opportunity. You hear about a great idea or stock that is just too good to be true. Is it or are you just too afraid to try something?Have you been lying to yourself that it is a scam just so you won't take the leap? Or have you told yourself the lie, if it is meant for me it will just happen? Millionaires and billionaires don't become successful by waiting on fate or luck. Successful people take risks on themselves and ideas. Is the real reason you haven't started that business, written that book or grown your business because you missed a golden opportunity? This is our topic today, please join in to learn the truth.

Most people can handle change when they know it's coming. Seasons change, the weather changes, you plan for your 21st, 50th and 65th birthday. All those changes are welcomed and even planned. However, what do you do when the change is unexpected and unwanted? Your boyfriend/girlfriend dumps you; your job fires you, you lose your apartment, and your car gets stolen. How do you adjust to change when you feel like the rug has been pulled from underneath you? What can you do, when you have tried everything? I have four steps that have helped me survive the unexpected changes in my life. I will talk about them today on this episode. Please join me.

Date rape is a form of acquaintance rape and dating violence. The two phrases are often used interchangeably, but date rape specifically refers to a rape in which there has been some sort of romantic or potentially sexual relationship between the two parties.However, it comes down to "he said versus she said". Or the victim versus the predator. This kind of rape is the hardest to confirm and both sides normally see the events differently. All this makes convincing people that a crime happened, extremely difficult. I know the issues firsthand because I was date raped. Our episode will discuss date rape and why the lines are still blurry to some people. Website: https://www.rainn.org/ Find help and call 800.656.4673

As of today November 11th, we have approximately 213 mass shootings, this year.  In 2021, there were 692 mass shootings. More than 2,500 children and teenagers in the U.S. have been either injured or killed by gunfire so far in 2022, according to the Gun Violence Archive (GVA).Politicians, Law enforcement and even the news have a lot of excuses for why gun violence has been on the rise. They have even more possible solutions to the issues. However, then seem to overlook the same type of backstory most of these perpetrators give. The story of abused childhood, dysfunctional families and/or bullying. My episode today will talk about my theory on the "the real cause" of the gun violence. We are not excusing their actions but explaining that sometimes getting to "the real cause" of an issue is the first step to finding a solution. 

This is an archived episode of "Surviving the Lion's Den" and with the holidays just around the corner I thought this would be a perfect episode. As an adult survivor of childhood abuse, I was silenced for years. My only outlet was writing and even then, most of my writing was destroyed by my family members. They didn't want me writing down or discussing anything that happened to me at the hands of my family. It took years of counseling and rehab programs to get me to open up about my abuse. Once I started talking about my abuse the more it seemed to help people. So, I started writing things down per one of my programs. The more I did the better I felt. I then had the idea to turn it into a book and that decision cause me to go down a painful path.  This episode will talk about that path and its effects on me. Amazon.com: Black Family Lies: Breaking the Silence of Generational Abuse eBook : Carter, Charmaine "Tigria" , Rivedal, Joshua : Kindle Store

This is an archived episode of "Surviving the Lion's Den" and with the holidays just around the corner I thought this would be a perfect episode. As an adult survivor of abuse, I know that the holidays can be more harmful than fun. You see family members because you believe you can handle it, "you grown now" and they can't hurt you. Some of us do it for our kids or grandkids. All the family, including the kids want to go over Grandma, Auntie, etc. house. However, as soon as you step in the door you feel like that helpless little child again...and all you want to do is run away. This episode can give you some options to escape.