Unmasking the Abuser - The Podcast

I put a lot of thought into creating my eBook, Brief Overview of Abusers' Strategies and Tactics. I'm excited to dive into its key insights in this episode and the next.Research shows that the more often you engage with information across different formats, the better you retain it — especially when you pair it with a visual reference. This is exactly why I'm breaking down the eBook here on the Unmasking the Abuser podcast.The eBook is under 60 pages, designed to be read in less than an hour. It focuses specifically on what abusers do. While it's concise, understanding the how and why behind these behaviors is equally important. That's what we'll explore together in these episodes.You don't need to have a copy of the eBook to follow along — just tune in and absorb the insights! But if you want your own copy, you can get it directly from my website: www.drdinamcmillan.com.Listen in, and let's uncover these critical strategies together!This is the podcast series that does so much more than entertain. It's designed to help you develop your manipulation superpower. Simply and effectively, you'll learn how to spot any attempts to unfairly persuade, influence or indoctrinate you. You'll be able to identify it accurately and early. In a world of propaganda and disinformation, you can know more and do more. Have a listen.

This is another key episode with a slightly different twist. Most of the time we discuss ways to recognize efforts to take advantage of you, using slick words and clever moves to influence, persuade and exploit.This time we stand back and discuss three core factors that can improve your shield against these devious efforts. These simple moves can make it less likely any tactics of persuasion will be effective, whether the person using the maneuvers is a potential romantic partner, a friend, a family member, a work colleague, a salesperson, or an advocate for a political or social cause.I want you to be not only smart but also resilient and guarded. Listen up and find out the simplest ways to become more resistant to manipulation.This is the podcast series that does so much more than entertain. It's designed to help you develop your manipulation superpower. Simply and effectively, you'll learn how to spot any attempts to unfairly persuade, influence or indoctrinate you. You'll be able to identify it accurately and early. In a world of propaganda and disinformation, you can know more and do more. Have a listen.

Some of the most crucial information about abusive relationships is how they start. What are they like at the very beginning? Most victims and survivors don't recognize the manipulation that happened at the start. That's why this can be a key to preventing new victims in the future.This episode provides a general overview of the manipulative moves and maneuvers that are used most often - and most successfully - to entice a new target into a relationship with an Abuser.This is one episode no one should skip.This is the podcast series that does so much more than entertain. It's designed to help you develop your manipulation superpower. Simply and effectively, you'll learn how to spot any attempts to unfairly persuade, influence or indoctrinate you. You'll be able to identify it accurately and early. In a world of propaganda and disinformation, you can know more and do more. Have a listen.

Important Valentine's Day Episode - no roses required.Most of our episodes are about choosing a better romantic partner. This episode is all about YOU, whether you're female or male, in a relationship or single. It guides you as you identify any beliefs or behaviors that are holding you back, causing you or your partner pain.  It helps expose the mistakes you repeat - no matter how much you promise that you won't - that may be keeping you from manifesting your happily-ever-after.The steps will get you started on substantially improving your relationships, romantic and otherwise.  These key insights will also help you sharpen you critical thinking and reinforce your manipulation-proof superpower. Your efforts can work quickly to maximize intimacy and closeness. If you're single, you'll be more attractive to the person you desire as a Forever Partner.Simple and effective as always. Feel free to grab a box of chocolates and have a listen.This is the podcast series that does so much more than entertain. It's designed to help you develop your manipulation superpower. Simply and effectively, you'll learn how to spot any attempts to unfairly persuade, influence or indoctrinate you. You'll be able to identify it accurately and early. In a world of propaganda and disinformation, you can know more and do more. Have a listen.

This is one of the most important Episodes we've done. Inspired by a request from a podcast audience member, this Episode explores the tricks and maneuvers used to entice a mistreated partner to return to an abusive relationship.How is it done? What does it take for someone who's fed up and perhaps deeply afraid to dive back into a highly volatile and even dangerous situation? What strings are Abusers most likely to pull? Are there ways to tell if someone is genuinely trying to heal and change - or just pretending to get their partner to return?Find out here - whether you need the key protection strategies for yourself or someone you love.This is the podcast series that does so much more than entertain. It's designed to help you develop your manipulation superpower. Simply and effectively, you'll learn how to spot any attempts to unfairly persuade, influence or indoctrinate you. You'll be able to identify it accurately and early. In a world of propaganda and disinformation, you can know more and do more. Have a listen.

This short podcast needs to be bookmarked and saved somewhere convenient. It contains key tips for emotional survival during the holiday season - or any time your family gets together. If you have a volatile partner, a difficult relative, a troublesome partner of a relative, don't go into their lair without protecting yourself. That's what this Episode is all about.All always, the crucial tips are simple, accessible and effective. Be prepared as you head into the holidays, so your day isn't ruined. This is the podcast series that does so much more than entertain. It's designed to help you develop your manipulation superpower. Simply and effectively, you'll learn how to spot any attempts to unfairly persuade, influence or indoctrinate you. You'll be able to identify it accurately and early. In a world of propaganda and disinformation, you can know more and do more. Have a listen.

This is still the only podcast series that exposes the specific tactics used by Abusers to lure in and trap romantic partners. It offers rare insight into manipulation that's relevant everywhere in your life, not only in romance.But have you ever wondered if we've missed something - another risk factor that could be significant?In this explosive episode, we discuss a crucial danger that's backed by decades of research yet seems to remain a relative secret. It's unknown by most people going about their lives and even by those who work in the field of domestic and family violence. Yet, this factor TRIPLES the risk of having abuse in a relationship. It's time to reveal the mystery. Have a listen to this 30-minute podcast as this secret is exposed and explained. This is the podcast series that does so much more than entertain. It's designed to help you develop your manipulation superpower. Simply and effectively, you'll learn how to spot any attempts to unfairly persuade, influence or indoctrinate you. You'll be able to identify it accurately and early. In a world of propaganda and disinformation, you can know more and do more. Have a listen.

I'm always learning. This episode is an incredible shared experience with A. Garcia, a woman who's experienced severe abuse and violence.  She decided to use what happened to her as a platform to help others. The interview was via Zoom, not in a studio, but I promise you'll get so caught up you won't mind.Please listen as A. discusses what she endured, and how she is a big proponent of PTG, post-traumatic growth, that encourages us all to use our painful life events to make ourselves stronger. She also includes her contact details if you'd like to add your voice and value in a more direct manner.Develop your manipulation superpower - learn how to identify attempts to persuade, influence, indoctrinate you, accurately and early. This is the only place you'll find these invaluable insights.

In the last Episode we looked at the efforts made to help Abusers to change. Batterers' Intervention Expert Kevin Tarrance from the Department of Children and Families in Florida shared his insights. He offered the various stages he believes Abusers have to traverse in order to fundamentally alter their expectations and behaviors in their intimate relationships. In this Episode we look at change and YOU - the core principles to help you understand what change is and how it's achieved. We include key tools that can help you change whatever is hurting you or holding you back. This could include your romantic expectations and desires.As always, the information is researched broadly and explained simply.  Have something you long to add to your life? Something you need to remove? Start here to learn how to start with a strong foundation that improves your likelihood of success.

This is an exciting episode, and not only because I had to quickly learn how to use a virtual interview on Zoom as a podcast episode.  Whether or not Abusers can change is the #1 question I'm asked by those who've been involved with these individuals. Yes and no.  That's the answer and why it takes two episodes to discuss it.I interviewed my first guest, Kevin (Michael) Tarrance, an experienced Domestic Violence Intervention Specialist in Jacksonville, Florida.  Kevin has been put in charge of monitoring and certifying Florida's Batterer's Intervention Programs (BIPs). He discusses whether or not he believes abusive men can change, what he's experienced, and where he thinks it should go. His manner is warm, engaging, and very knowledgeable.You'll finish these episodes with specific tools in hand to assess whether or not the person you care for is willing - and genuinely trying - to change. Is it real or is it a smokescreen to keep you involved? You'll also learn information you can use for yourself to change, and grow, and learn.Don't miss these episodes! And as always, email me with any questions or comments at unmaskingpodcast@gmail.com. 

This is a must-listen Episode. I discuss why my book, But He Says He Loves Me, is still essential knowledge for anyone wanting to quickly and clearly spot the signs of an abusive relationship. I've just finished production for the audio version of the book - out soon - and offer some exciting previews for my listeners.The book, But He Says He Loves Me, was written in two voices: myself as a domestic abuse expert, and the voice of an Abuser (a fictional blend of real men) who offers men lessons on manipulation and mistreatment. I was able to get Anthony Howell ("Foyle's War), a talented actor to perform the Abuser's side. Listeners get to hear an excerpt from the new audible book. Have a listen and let me know what you think.

The holidays are here! Well, if you count family birthdays, reunions and other special events, the holidays are always here. How do you get through with your sanity intact? How can you still grab joy even if some family members insist on being difficult? Is it even possible?This special holiday edition is filled with tips on how to handle difficult people and situations during family get-togethers. How do you prepare? What do you keep telling yourself so you can remain in control? How do you shield yourself from tantrums and attempts by others to ruin the day?It's all here in a short, sweet and very important Episode. Have a listen!

If you only listen to one Episode of this series, this podcast Episode is it. We cover the basics of the entire abuse prevention program: Selection, Main Tactics and Honorable Mentions.  All of Abusers' secret and most effective tactics laid bare for you to examine.The insights here offer a powerful review session for regular listeners and can bring new listeners up to speed.In addition, the information in this podcast are available to anyone who requests it. Just email me at unmaskingpodcast@gmail.com.

We've discussed Abusers' tactics at length. I thought it would also be useful to cover some of their most common tricks - smaller moves that may be part of a bigger tactic.  The 15 most common tricks are included in this Episode.These tricks are sinister, effective, and can cause a lot of trouble.  That's the bad news. The good news is these moves are often easy to spot. They're scripted ploys that help Abusers gather in a new Target, get a Victim to back down, or convince a Target, Victim or Survivor to return to the toxic relationship.This Episode is relevant to both women and men.

With previous Episodes you've done a lot of work to develop a new superpower, a set of valuable skills that help you identify Abusers early, to spot the tactics of manipulation, coercion and unfair persuasion in romantic and non-romantic settings.In this Episode we talk about how to protect your new knowledge, how to shield yourself from influences that would try to prevent you from using what you know. We look at some simple mistakes that can easily be avoided, and why your brain is your most precious gift.  Knowledge that isn't used is just potential, and I want more than that for you. As always, the Episode is full of useful tips that make it simple to use what you learn in your life.

As promised, this is the crucial second Episode on Resilience, filled with crucial insights and key tips to start building this central core life skill right away. No life is without pain, trouble, disappointment, regret. Resilience is the ability to thoughtfully regain your strength and determination after facing situations of uncertainty, loss, failure, crises or major disruption to your life. You'll learn how to push through your initial, visceral reactions to the empowered place where you can decide what comes next. Resilience allows you to thrive and survive instead of falling apart.Everyone should know and use these vital tools, presented in an accessible manner in this last Episode of Season 1.

Resilience is such an important topic, yet it gets far too little attention. It's often included in expensive leadership courses, but what about everyone else? What about our need to understand, develop and use this key tool in our ever-changing lives?Resilience is important enough to deserve two episodes. Episode 1 provides the crucial foundation, offering a clear, detailed description of resilience and how to start weaving it into your life. Part 2, soon to follow, will demonstrate specific steps to become more resilient now, no matter how you've handled challenging situations in your past or even your present.These Episodes are for everyone and not to be missed!

I think the concept of fear has been misrepresented in recent years. After all, if we don't feel fear we'll take unnecessary or even foolish chances. We'll ignore the instincts that tell us to get away from something or someone dangerous.This series has never tried to dampen all fear. We've honed those instincts, sharpened them with specific knowledge of tactics, and applied this key knowledge to gain more effective ways to shield from harm.In this Episode, we take the same concepts we apply so skillfully to our romantic lives and examine our lives in general. We look at recent social pressures to blindly accept all change without question. We dare to ask the necessary questions to understand the larger implications of reactive compliance. In this Episode we learn how fear can be useful, and add it to our range of superpowers. We learn to listen to fear's messages so we can reduce our likelihood of making costly mistakes. And we look at simple tools to differentiate between genuine, positive progress and coerced social manipulation.

Sex is an important part of adult relationships. In this Episode, we look at sexuality and Abusers: what sex means to them, how they treat their partners sexually, the sexual weapons they'll use if the relationship ends. Sex definitely doesn't mean intimacy. It involves manipulation, coercion, humiliation and pain. Sex can also be used as an enticement in the beginning, another important tool offered as a reward or a punishment. This can make it difficult for the unwary to recognize the huge red flag being waved over their new romance.Listen and learn about what takes place in the bedroom of Abusers.

This Episode covers some crucial information about how secrets can make you vulnerable to manipulation and the way secrets always grow into bigger and more harmful lies.We also chat about ways to get back into the romance game after you've been hurt - some simple but powerful tips to keep you from repeating your past mistakes, or jumping into love with someone who will quickly make you regret your haste.Included in this Episode is talk about the importance of help and sharing, and some key insights into building or joining an Unmasking the Abuser support group. I offer some basic strategies for how to do it and what it should include. It can even be done online through the team platforms that have become so popular.

Are you interested in finding out some simple ways to get to know a new potential romantic partner? Ever wondered what you should ask, or wish you had a a few tips of what to do?That's what this Episode is all about. We start with some insights from Robert Greene's book, "The Art of Seduction", exposing some ploys to be aware of when you're out and about.Then, stepping a little away from issues and problems, this Episode reveals some quick and easy tips to establish whether you and a new person are compatible, down deep where it matters. Forget about kissing frogs. This Episode will get you started so you can swiftly throw the frogs back in the pond without getting any backsplash on your clothes.

Have you ever thought about your relationships and wondered how much you really care for the people in your life - or worried about how much they truly care about you? The Circles of Intimacy is a simple set of 2 small tests with a few questions that can help you know. Test 1 helps you establish how you feel about each person in your life. Test 2 gives you important insight into how much the people in your life care about you.There's no judgment, no blame, no harshness. Just a few simple questions that can help you establish and maintain relationship balance in your life. Balance is the key to healthy relationships and strong self-esteem.Let's keep building your emotional superpower!

I believe it's incredibly valuable to expose the specific tactics used by Abusers to manipulate their targets into relationships. But this knowledge cannot work alone. Potential targets must also recognize where they're vulnerable. They have to explore where their beliefs, values, even fantasies will unwittingly encourage them to ignore the wisdom that can keep them safe. This Episode is crucial for anyone who wants to make sure they're not subtly walking themselves into a trap. As always, it's highly solution-focused with key methods for strengthening any fragile spots and heightening resilience.

This episode continues our important discussion on troublesome relationships that aren't romantic. They can be family, old friends, and even work relationships. Some are simply challenging others would qualify as toxic. How do you know for certain?I'll show you in this Episode. We go through a short number of questions you can ask yourself about your relationship with anyone. Each type of question is worth a certain number of points on the toxicity scale. Then you add up the points at the end. You can determine if the other person is too negative, too selfish so you feel used, or if it's toxic and potentially putting your emotional and mental health at risk.As always, the information is simple but not dull or childish. It's something everyone can use.

We've talked a lot about abusive relationships and how to avoid choosing an abusive partner. But what about Abusers you don't choose - your family member, a neighbor, a work colleague, a boss? What about an old friend or a new friend who seems great at first?Episodes 13 and 14 will explore the dynamics and the key warning signs of abusive relationships that aren't romantic. These toxic pairings can still destroy your life - or that of a loved one - if you're not careful. We look at how they're formed and how easily people can be fooled. In the next Episode, we consider brief and effective ways you can protect yourself.

In this Episode, I fulfill a promise I made to my male listeners and discuss the means and methods used by female abusers when pursuing male targets. Most of their ploys and maneuvers are identical to those used by abusive males - so listening to previous Episodes is a must. But there are some differences due to gender roles and cultural norms that are highlighted here.In the second part of this Episode, we define both positive and toxic masculinity, and confirm the reasons toxic masculinity isn't harmless - it sits squarely on the abuse continuum. As always, the emphasis is on solutions, so we talk about simple ways teen boys and men can reach their highest potential and protect themselves from declining into abusive attitudes or behaviors.

It wouldn't be fair to teach you all about the tactics used by Abusers and not also discuss some of the beliefs and behaviors that make women vulnerable. This Episode touches on some of the most common dreams and ideals held by women that can lead them straight into the arms of an Abuser.We also touch on a topic that's painful but necessary - what to do if you're already in a relationship with an Abuser. We discuss what needs to happen at the very beginning, in the mind of the Victim, that can increase the chance of a successful exit. These key steps actually precede the necessary and practical instructions (including a firm Exit Plan) offered by a domestic violence agency or support group. This crucial advice can mean the difference between finding a new life or returning to the Abuser.

In this important Episode, I show you easy ways to remember Abusers' tactics. Simple rhymes are used as mnemonic cues (memory triggers) to help listeners learn the short list of tactics they need to know to stay safe. We also look at ways to recognize the signs of someone else - someone you know and care about - being manipulated into a relationship with an Abuser. Your superpower gets stronger with each Episode! Cape On!

Learning the tactics of manipulation used by Abusers to entice new partners is fantastic! But is that enough to keep you safe in Real Life if (or when) you're targeted by one? In this Episode we discuss strategies you can use to both accurately identify a potential Abuser and get away as quickly as possible. We even discuss how to keep from mislabeling someone as an Abuser because you defined them with too little information. This Episode is a must-listen for anyone who wants to successfully use the knowledge shared in previous Episodes to keep themselves safe.

This is an exciting episode where we finish the List of Tactics used by Abusers to lure in new romantic partners. We describe what happens and explain why these moves are so successful in trapping teen girls and women in these highly toxic relationships.These is crucial knowledge if you want to be fully informed about abuse and Abusers, and be able to quickly identify the ploys when they're used. The List isn't long, the explanations are simple, and the knowledge is critical for an effective Safety Plan.Note: in the next episode we'll discuss the critical tips you'll need to stay safe if you're targeted by an Abuser. A polite rejection isn't going to work!

In this Episode we explore more frighteningly alluring moves used by Abusers to build strong emotional bonds and gain premature commitment from their target. We discuss how they encourage targets to turn off their awareness and put those rose-colored glasses firmly in place. Also included is a tactic that's rarely acknowledged or discussed that fosters the growth of destructive behaviors and attitudes in victims that can persist even after they leave the abusive relationship behind. Both of the first two tactics help the Abuser in their desire to fully isolate their romantic partner, tying her in a web of cruelty and control.As always, not just problems, solutions. Not just discussion, exposure. These episodes lay bare the most successful tactics used by Abusers and hidden in plain sight. And we show how knowledge can be used to keep you and your loved ones safe.

In this Episode we show how Abusers use a dynamic group of cunning manipulation tactics to strengthen the emotional bond and further dominate their partner. This Episode demonstrates how an ongoing patter of hurtful comments combined with showy, positive gestures and focused attention from the Abuser can distract a target from realizing how much trouble she's in. The Abuser uses intensity and magician's tricks to deceive his new partner and hide his grim personality and his destructive plans for their future.

In this episode, we look at two tactics that are actually sets, they're behaviors that are like two sides of the coin. One side is all compliments, charm, promises and gifts. The other side consists of comments to make you doubt yourself, your abilities and your ability to realize your goals unless you agree to a relationship with the Abuser. These tactics are clever, effective and incredibly devious. Learn how to recognize when compliments are designed to manipulate and promises are tossed out to lure you into an Abuser's grim clutches.

In this important episode, the cunning tactics used by Abusers begin to be described in detail. In this first of the Tactics podcasts, we describe Testing, Training and Domination as moves to gain control over a new romantic target. We also look at a key group of tactics that aren't quite as common in a set called 'Honorable Mentions'. These include Finding Allies, a Tactic called 'Flying Monkeys', Gaslighting, DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender) and Scapegoating. This is crucial information! Don't miss it!

This episode begins the exploration the grooming process that can be so alluring and how Abusers act to increase their likelihood of success. We also examine a few realistic scenarios that help Abusers gain control over their target, and expose some personal factors that can make even smart, savvy women vulnerable to manipulation.

In this Episode, we give a detailed description of what is meant by the term 'Abuser', including the estimated proportion of Abusers in the general population. Then we discuss the key methods Abusers use to select and lure their targets into a toxic relationship.

Have you ever wondered why so many women experience abuse in their relationships? Want to know how to keep yourself and your loved ones safe? This trailer outlines the new podcast series, Unmasking the Abuser, that finally exposes the secrets and manipulative strategies used so successfully by Abusers. The series can help you identity - accurately and early - the maneuvers and tricks used by Abusers to lure in new romantic partners and trap them in toxic relationships. It will also offer tips to recognize abusive manipulation in someone else's relationship, as well as methods for spotting abuse in non-romantic relationships such as friendships and work relationships. Appropriate for all ages 13 and over, this podcast series offers invaluable information that's not available anywhere else. It's brought to you directly by world-renowned social psychologist, Dr. Dina McMillan, author of 'But He Says He Loves Me', available on Amazon.

Have you ever wondered about the men who abuse their romantic partners? Are they aware of what they're doing? Can they change to become loving husbands and fathers? This episode explores the minds and hearts of Abusers, based upon nearly 700 in-depth interviews and 20 years of experience by Dr. Dina McMillan. Find out what's really happening in Abusers' heads and hearts, and learn why you cannot identify an Abuser except by watching his behavior - which will be detailed in this series of podcasts. This is the necessary first step in recognizing the distinctive ploys that make up the Abusers' manipulative bag of tricks. This is information Abusers don't want you to know!