Podcasts about toxic relationships

Why do so many successful women thrive in business but struggle to find lasting love? In this episode of Wickedly Smart Women, host Anjel B. Hartwell welcomes Chaya Garcia, The Epic Love Expert, a relationship expert and founder of the growing #LoveLighter movement. Chaya shares how her own journey through toxic relationships, codependency, and self-discovery inspired her mission to help women attract emotionally healthy, lasting partnerships. Whether you're navigating dating, marriage, or simply learning to trust yourself again, this conversation offers powerful wisdom for choosing yourself first.   What You Will Learn: Why high-achieving women often struggle with healthy romantic relationships. The difference between chemistry and emotional safety. How to recognize relationship red flags from the very beginning. Why hope can sometimes keep women stuck in unhealthy situations. The importance of aligning words with actions. How self-love influences every relationship you create. Why emotional sobriety matters as much as physical sobriety. The connection between toxic relationships and unhealthy work environments. How asking better questions leads to better relationship choices. Why letting go can create space for the love you truly deserve.   Connect with Chaya Garcia Website https://connectwithchaya.com/  Connect with Wickedly Smart Women® Wickedly Smart Women Wickedly Smart Women on X Wickedly Smart Women on Instagram Wickedly Smart Women Facebook Community Wickedly Smart Women Store on TeePublic [5X Award-Winning Book] Wickedly Smart Women: Trusting Intuition, Taking Action, Transforming Worlds Email: listeners@wickedlysmartwomen.com  

Why Codependents Ignore Red Flags (And Stay in Toxic Relationships) A Live Workshop Episode with Lisa A. Romano, Breakthrough Life Coach Have you ever looked back on a toxic relationship and wondered, "Why didn't I see the red flags sooner?" Do you find yourself constantly giving people the benefit of the doubt, overexplaining their behavior, or staying in relationships long after the warning signs are obvious? If so, you are not weak. You may have been conditioned to override your own instincts. In this powerful live workshop episode, Lisa A. Romano explains why codependent people often struggle to recognize narcissistic behavior and emotional manipulation in real time. Through deep psychological insight and nervous system awareness, Lisa reveals how childhood trauma trains the subconscious mind to normalize instability, dismiss intuition, and mistake emotional pain for love. This is not about being naïve. It is about conditioning. In This Episode You'll Discover:

Some of the language we all use in family court every day didn't always exist. The word “co-parenting” is one of them — and the attorney credited with introducing it sits down with us in this conversation. Anne P. Mitchell was one of the first two attorneys in the United States to fight for a child's right to an ongoing relationship with their father after separation, and what she learned across decades in the trenches of high-conflict custody is exactly what targeted parents need to hear today.In this first part of our conversation, Anne walks us through the warning signs that a false allegation of abuse is on its way, the simple steps that protect you before one ever lands, and the co-parent counseling model she helped pioneer — including the surprisingly effective way to get a judge to order it.

A man divorces his wife after two years of zero affection post-menopause. He starts dating again, shares his story with a woman he's seeing, and she calls him a narcissist. His ex-wife used the same word. Now he's writing to me wondering if they're right.In this episode, I break down what actual narcissism is, why the word has become a go-to weapon in relationship conflict, and how to think clearly about whether the label actually fits you — or whether it's being used to make you feel like the problem when you're not.

Ashish Joshi returns to Been There Got Out — and this time, he's brought a new book and a perspective that may change how you talk about your case forever.If you've been calling your situation a "high-conflict divorce," you may be inadvertently sharing blame you don't deserve. Attorney Ashish Joshi — a domestic violence specialist who focuses on parental alienation and family court litigation — explains why the term "high-conflict" is legally and strategically dangerous for targeted parents, and what the more accurate framework of "family violence" actually means in court.In this conversation, Joshi draws on his brand-new book, Litigating Family Violence, to walk us through the umbrella of behaviors that constitute family violence — from coercive control and emotional abuse to financial abuse, immigration weaponization, and yes, parental alienation. He explains how all of these are interconnected, and why treating them as separate issues misses the point.If you're in family court right now, or trying to understand why nothing seems to be working the way it should, this episode gives you something rare: a practicing trial attorney explaining exactly what courts look for, what language to use, and what actually makes the difference in these cases.IN THIS EPISODE:- Why calling your case "high-conflict" may actually hurt you in family court- What "family violence" means legally — and how it changes the narrative- "Leaving is a process, not an event" — and why courts need to understand this- The difference between parental alienating behaviors (PABs) and parental alienation itself- Resist-refuse dynamics: what they are, and what's really causing them- When to go to court early — and what to ask for instead of pointing fingers- What a proper, enforceable reunification therapy order actually requires- The "running the clock" tactic: how the favored parent uses delay as a weapon- Child voice vs. child choice — and why courts shouldn't let kids decide- Peer-reviewed research: adult children thanked courts for intervening- Enmeshment, parentification, and the cult-like loyalty dynamic- Vicarious trauma and why self-care isn't optional for litigating parentsABOUT ASHISH JOSHI:Ashish Joshi is a practicing family law attorney who specializes at the intersection of domestic violence and parental alienation. He is a sought-after speaker at legal and judicial conferences, including the AFCC (Association of Family and Conciliation Courts), and is the author of two books for legal practitioners and litigants: Litigating Parental Alienation and his newest, Litigating Family Violence. His work bridges the gap between academic research and what actually happens in courtrooms.Ashish Joshi website: www.joshiattorneys.comBook: https://www.amazon.com/Litigating-Family-Violence-Ashish-Joshi/dp/1639057439/#ParentalAlienation #FamilyViolence #HighConflictDivorce #CustodyBattle #CoerciveControl #ReunificationTherapy #FamilyCourt #TargetedParent #BeenThereGotOut

In this episode, I'm talking about something I call the Saturday text. It's never Tuesday at 10 AM when your coffee is warm and you're mentally ready. It's always when you've finally exhaled, and I want to explain why that timing is never an accident.I go deep into the way dysregulation gets used as a delivery mechanism of coercive control, including what the person sending the text is actually getting out of it, which is not just pressure relief but confirmation that they still have access to your nervous system. I also talk about co-regulation, what it's supposed to be, and how it gets weaponized in coercively controlling relationships.I share my own experience with this pattern, including the specific moment when someone I was with sent a breakup ultimatum by text while I was alone in another country, and what that taught me about the intentionality behind timing.If you're in a high-conflict co-parenting situation, still entangled with someone controlling, or just trying to understand why you're always exhausted and can never quite explain it, this episode is for you. I also talk about practical ways to start creating distance between the text arriving and your response, because your nervous system belongs to you, and so does your Saturday.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your RelationshipWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

(00:00) Hour two begins with the guys discussing how the Jaylen Brown deal went down and what role he played in forcing the Celtics to accept a bad deal, did the Celtics lose leverage from his actions?(9:03) The guys react to Goodman saying that there is no way Brad Stevens wanted to do this deal. Beetle asks who prevented Brad from paying Giannis?(21:45) Hour two continues with the guys talking about their day with the boats on Monday leading into an in depth talk about cheese and its presentation. (29:19) This or ThatSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when your ex doesn't just badmouth you to the kids, but tells them God is on their side? In this episode, Lisa talks with interfaith minister and trauma-informed therapist Sherri Heller about one of the most under-recognized weapons in a high-conflict divorce: faith itself.When a marriage involving a high-control religious system breaks down, the parent who leaves is rarely treated as someone making a healthy choice. They're cast as the one who “deviated,” the one who is “morally depraved,” the one the children must be protected from. Sherri explains exactly how this plays out as parental alienation and why family courts so often miss it, pushing for reconciliation “at any cost” while the smear campaign hides in plain sight behind a veneer of virtue.If you've heard your own child repeat phrases that don't sound like them, like one parent in this episode, whose child said she should be talking to “good Christians, not bad divorced people,” you've seen what Sherri calls borrowed scenarios and abuse by proxy: the child used as a vessel to carry the alienating parent's message. She and Lisa talk through what to actually do in that moment, why opposing the indoctrination head-on backfires, and how to find the “middle ground” and the “way in” instead.You'll also hear Sherri's candid take on a hard truth we teach our own clients: in a system that won't recognize this abuse, you have to learn to play the game. Stay tactical. Gray rock. Build leverage so you're not completely cut off from your child, and plant seeds quietly (through nature, literature, science, and critical thinking) that give your kids room to find their own autonomy as they grow, especially in adolescence when the contradictions start to surface.Sherri and Lisa also talk about where to put your energy instead of into endless arguments. At Been There Got Out we teach our clients to look for the “universal agreements,” the handful of things both parents claim to want, like a child who is healthy, happy, and well cared for. Anchoring your communication there keeps you on the high ground, gives a watching judge a clear contrast between your behavior and your ex's, and quietly removes the conflict your ex is fishing for. Sherri's clinical framing of why opposition feeds the narcissist lines up exactly with the strategic communication we coach every day.There's also real hope in this episode. Sherri reminds protective parents that the very contradictions an alienating parent creates tend to surface on their own, especially in adolescence, when the pressure of living inside someone else's story starts to produce its own symptoms. The seeds you plant now, quietly and consistently, are often what your child reaches for later when they begin to question. Your steadiness is the long game.This is essential viewing if you're navigating custody where religion, a controlling community, or a “messianic” ex is part of the picture. It pairs directly with our book “When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You” and our work on strategic communication.About our guest: Sherri Heller is an interfaith minister and trauma-informed therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse and complex trauma recovery, and a survivor herself.⏱ CHAPTERS / TIMESTAMPS00:00 Welcome — a topic we rarely cover00:52 What is spiritual & religious abuse?02:12 Meet Sherri Heller: minister & trauma-informed therapist03:40 Common misconceptions (it's not just isolated sects)06:02 How love bombing opens the door08:17 When the community sanctions the abuse09:44 A survivor robbed of her future11:23 Rigid rules: controlled marriages & forced isolation13:31 Narrowing it to the family system14:17 Red flags: cognitive dissonance & the absence of humility17:47 Covert vs. overt: ontological gaslighting18:48 Triangulating with the divine & prosocial camouflage20:34 Grooming children into martyrs24:49 Divorce, leaving the faith & parental alienation25:51 Learning to “play the game” in family court28:49 Borrowed scenarios & abuse by proxy29:36 Finding the middle ground with an alienated child31:34 When (and how) to tell kids a parent is mentally ill33:32 Getting out: reclaiming yourself35:27 Gray rocking, planting seeds & the adolescent awakening37:21 Where to find Sherri Heller37:53 Closing thoughtsWHO WE ARE: Been There Got Out helps protective parents survive high-conflict divorce, custody battles, and parental alienation. Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry teach the strategy that attorneys often don't — how to communicate, document, and present your case while protecting your relationship with your kids. We've been there. We got out. We'll help you do the same.→ Struggling with alienation right now? Book a free 30-minute discovery call: https://btgo.as.me/?appointmentType=24686877→ Get the book “When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You”: https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183/Find Sherri Heller: https://sheritherapist.com/index.html#ParentalAlienation #ReligiousAbuse #HighConflictDivorce #CustodyBattle #NarcissisticAbuse #CoerciveControl #ProtectiveParent #CoParenting #BeenThereGotOut

I was walking on a beach when God said something I wasn't ready to hear. Not comfort. Not ease. Peace. "If you don't bring me peace, you don't get a place at my table." I thought I understood what that meant. I didn't. I thought protecting my peace meant cutting out anyone who challenged me. But challenge is not the enemy of peace — emotional hijacking is. Some people don't challenge you. They hijack you. You leave every interaction drained, defensive, replaying the conversation in the shower at 2am. That's not growth — it's an open loop quietly stealing your energy, and it won't close itself. If you're tired of draining relationships that never change, this episode gives you a way to discern who belongs at your table — and the courage to stop setting a place for those who don't. In this episode: • The difference between a holy challenge and emotional hijacking • The "aftermath test" — one question that reveals who stays at your table • 4 practical steps to protect your peace — no drama, no guilt • Why protecting your peace is stewardship, not selfishness This is the heart of Stop Stealing From Yourself — starting with the relationships you keep saying yes to.

In this video, I break down 10 signs you're in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic or emotionally abusive partner, from the perspective of a clinically diagnosed narcissist who's been on both sides of the dynamic. We'll talk about what it really means to ignore your intuition, why conflicts escalate so fast when you challenge them, how isolation from friends and family makes you easier to control, and why their apologies never lead to actual change. I'll show you how gaslighting, manipulation, and “I'm sorry for everything” keep you doubting yourself instead of their behavior, and why cutting people off for the chance at one toxic love leaves you more vulnerable than ever. If these signs sound familiar, this video will help you recognize the red flags, validate what you're feeling, and start planning how to protect your peace and break the cycle. Book a Coaching Session: [⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://link.me/mentalhealness⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠]

Gary reveals that Charles Barkley was invited to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's multi-million dollar wedding — and turned it down. Plus, Questlove showed up with his girlfriend and people have thoughts. Then the crew tackles the disturbing story of veteran radio host Big Tigger, who reportedly stepped away from his show following an aggravated battery arrest — and his wife's separate kidnapping warrant involving a child still listed as missing by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Licensed therapist Spirit joins Rickey live to break down why smart, successful people stay in toxic relationships. This is a conversation you need to hear.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There is a particular kind of loss that doesn't get talked about enough when you leave a coercive relationship, and it isn't the loss of the person. On some level, that was survival. The loss I am talking about is quieter and stranger than that. It's the loss of your own mind, entire summers, thousands of small moments that were technically yours but that you never actually lived.In this episode, I talk about what it looks like when coercive control colonizes your nervous system so completely that you can't find the beginning of it anymore.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your RelationshipWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Leave a text or voice message so we can respondThe Things You Don't Expect After Leaving a Toxic RelationshipMany survivors believe leaving a toxic relationship is the finish line.But for some, leaving is the moment the abuser realizes they are losing access to control—and that's when entirely new tactics can emerge.In this episode, we're talking about post-separation abuse: the ongoing attempts some emotionally abusive, narcissistic, or controlling partners make to maintain influence long after the relationship has ended.We'll explore what post-separation abuse looks like, why it happens, and the emotional toll it can take on survivors. From excessive texting and constant emergencies to smear campaigns, false accusations, financial sabotage, court manipulation, love bombing, hoovering, and using children as messengers, many survivors find themselves facing challenges they never expected after leaving.You'll learn:• What post-separation abuse is and how to recognize it• Why some abusers escalate after a breakup or divorce• The common mistake survivors make that keeps them emotionally hooked into the conflict• How ongoing abuse can create anxiety, hypervigilance, rumination, self-doubt, and exhaustion• Why healing isn't measured by whether they stop• What recovery actually looks like after emotional abuse and narcissistic abuseIf you've ever found yourself thinking, "I left, so why am I still struggling?" this episode is for you.The reality is that healing isn't always about getting the other person to change. It's about reclaiming your peace, your energy, your identity, and your future—even when someone else is trying to keep you stuck in the past.Visit the link in the show notes for free healing resources, including my 5-Day Guided Mentor Audio Series, Deconditioning Workbook, podcast episodes, and additional support for every stage of your healing journey.Keywords: post-separation abuse, emotional abuse recovery, narcissistic abuse recovery, toxic relationship recovery, coercive control, trauma bond recovery, divorce recovery, healing after emotional abuse, toxic ex, narcissistic ex, post-divorce abuse, emotional healing, relationship trauma, abuse recovery, recovering from a toxic relationship.Set up your Free Call Today! Support the showReady to stop overthinking your past relationship and start feeling like yourself again?Visit www.radiatenrise.com to explore coaching programs, self-paced courses, free resources, and tools designed to help you break free from emotional abuse, rumination, and self-doubt.✍

Have you ever experienced the pain of a broken or lost relationship? Or do you tend to be attracted to toxic people, and you don't know why or how to stop this from being the norm in your life? In this 20-part series, from his television broadcast, Wisdom for Living, Pastor Greg Mohr shares wisdom from over forty-years of experience helping people recover from the pain of broken and toxic relationships. As you apply these truths, you too will be equipped to break the pattern of toxic relationships, deal with difficult people, and build healthy, meaningful relationships in your life!

Dr Russell Thackeray welcomes writer and nonprofit leader Deborah Santana from Los Angeles to discuss her work and memoir, Loving the Fire: Choosing Me, Finding Freedom. Deborah explains her nonprofit Do Little, which supports women and girls in health, education, and happiness, and describes her lifelong commitment to challenging exclusion, shaped by growing up with an interracial family and seeing ongoing barriers such as limits on women's ordination. She critiques cultural and political forces she sees as pushing society toward a white patriarchal system, and emphasises education through original, trustworthy sources. She shares how being married to guitarist Carlos Santana for 34 years led her to feel unseen, and how leaving helped her live by her values, focus on collaborative “circle” work, and reclaim her identity. She highlights meditation as a core resilience practice and offers guidance on moving away from toxic relationships. She directs viewers to deborahsantana.com and notes an audiobook is in progress.00:00 Welcome and Introductions00:49 Flowers and Gardening Chat02:03 Nonprofit Mission Do Little02:58 Why Equality Still Matters03:39 Family Roots and Exclusion08:20 Reclaiming Your Voice10:41 Leaving Celebrity Life11:35 Circles and Museum Work13:11 Truth Education and AI14:31 Loving the Fire Memoir17:12 Meditation and Walking Through Fire19:13 Toxic Relationships and Change20:54 Where to Find the Book21:41 Audiobook and Closing You can contact us at info@qedod.comResources can be found online or link to our website https://resilienceunravelled.com

In this episode of The Journey Podcast, we talk about the difference between love, lust, attraction, potential, and real emotional connection. The conversation gets honest about why s*x can keep people stuck in the wrong relationships, why we fall in love with who someone could be instead of who they actually are, and why chasing unavailable people usually says more about us than them. We also break down anxious and avoidant attachment, healing before dating again, pushing away someone good, and what it feels like to grieve a relationship while you're still in it. This is one of those conversations for anyone who has ever confused chemistry for love, stayed too long, or had to accept that the timing just wasn't right.Patreon (EXCLUSIVE EPISODES)https://www.patreon.com/c/TheJourneyPodThe Journey Podcast Merchhttps://thejourneypodcast.shopINSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/zacharycummings_https://www.instagram.com/thejourneypodcasthttps://www.instagram.com/johnscafiddijrhttps://www.instagram.com/aviwizwerhttps://www.instagram.com/patbertellTik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/thejourneypodcast__#relationships #datingadvice #relationshipadvice #love #lust #toxicrelationships #situationships #heartbreak #healing #mensmentalhealth #selfimprovement #traumabond #attachmentstyles

Have you ever experienced the pain of a broken or lost relationship? Or do you tend to be attracted to toxic people, and you don't know why or how to stop this from being the norm in your life? In this 20-part series, from his television broadcast, Wisdom for Living, Pastor Greg Mohr shares wisdom from over forty-years of experience helping people recover from the pain of broken and toxic relationships. As you apply these truths, you too will be equipped to break the pattern of toxic relationships, deal with difficult people, and build healthy, meaningful relationships in your life!

CapeTalk’s Sara-Jayne Makwala King is joined on Weekend Breakfast by author, speaker and coach Devon Brough. Weekend Breakfast with Sara-Jayne Makwala King is the weekend breakfast show on CapeTalk. This 3-hour morning programme is the perfect (and perky!) way to kickstart your weekend. Author and journalist Sara-Jayne Makwala-King spends 3 hours interviewing a variety of guests about all things cultural and entertaining. The team keeps an eye on weekend news stories, but the focus remains on relaxation and restoration. Favourites include the weekly wellness check-in on Saturdays at 7:35 am and heartfelt chats during the Sunday 9 am profile interview. Listen live on Primedia+ Saturdays and Sundays between 07:00 and 10:00 am (SA Time) to Weekend Breakfast with Sara-Jayne Makwala-King broadcast on CapeTalk https://buff.ly/NnFM3Nk For more from the show, go to https://buff.ly/AgPbZi9 or find all the catch-up podcasts here https://buff.ly/j1EhEkZ Subscribe to the CapeTalk Daily and Weekly Newsletters https://buff.ly/sbvVZD5 Follow us on social media: CapeTalk on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CapeTalk CapeTalk on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@capetalk CapeTalk on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ CapeTalk on X: https://x.com/CapeTalk CapeTalk on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CapeTalk567 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever experienced the pain of a broken or lost relationship? Or do you tend to be attracted to toxic people, and you don't know why or how to stop this from being the norm in your life? In this 20-part series, from his television broadcast, Wisdom for Living, Pastor Greg Mohr shares wisdom from over forty-years of experience helping people recover from the pain of broken and toxic relationships. As you apply these truths, you too will be equipped to break the pattern of toxic relationships, deal with difficult people, and build healthy, meaningful relationships in your life!

Have you ever experienced the pain of a broken or lost relationship? Or do you tend to be attracted to toxic people, and you don't know why or how to stop this from being the norm in your life? In this 20-part series, from his television broadcast, Wisdom for Living, Pastor Greg Mohr shares wisdom from over forty-years of experience helping people recover from the pain of broken and toxic relationships. As you apply these truths, you too will be equipped to break the pattern of toxic relationships, deal with difficult people, and build healthy, meaningful relationships in your life!

Are you feeling physically exhausted, sick, or "bone tired" because of the stress in your relationship? Today we're discussing why your body is crashing and how to stop the drain. When you are in a relationship with someone struggling with addiction, your body often knows the truth before your mind is ready to accept it. Chronic stress, hyper-vigilance, and the constant "detective work" of trying to save someone else take a physical toll that can't be ignored. In this stream, we'll explore the medical and psychological link between your relationship dynamics and your health, and why "recovery" isn't just for the addict—it's for your physical well-being too. In this episode, we cover: The science of why toxic stress causes physical illness. How to identify the specific behaviors that are "draining" your energy. Practical steps to stop the physical crash and start protecting your health. Why "loving them" shouldn't mean losing your physical vitality. #PutTheShovel Down #RelationshipStress #AddictionRecovery #ToxicRelationships #HealthAndWellness ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: ✅Denial Breakthrough Intensive https://www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/motivation-unlocked-challenge ✅ Consultation Session https://www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/consultations

Some healing doesn't come from therapy or from doing the work in the way you expect it to. Sometimes it comes from watching your team win the NBA finals.In this episode, I'm sharing something personalL what the Knicks winning the 2026 championship actually did to me, and why I wasn't prepared for it. This win cracked something open that I didn't know was still there, and I've been sitting with it ever since.This is a detour from my usual content, and it also isn't, because healing has never been linear for me, and I've never once claimed to be finished with it.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your RelationshipWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Leave a text or voice message so we can respondHave you ever found yourself wondering if you wasted the best years of your life on the wrong person?Maybe you've replayed old relationships in your mind, imagined different outcomes, or found yourself thinking, "What if I had made a different choice?" After emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, a toxic marriage, or a painful divorce, many survivors find themselves grieving far more than the relationship itself. They're grieving the future they thought they were going to have.In this episode, we're exploring the hidden grief that nobody talks about after a toxic relationship: the grief of lost time, lost possibilities, and the life you imagined for yourself. You'll learn why your brain creates alternate timelines, why it's so easy to get stuck romanticizing the past, and how rumination can keep you trapped in a version of life that never actually existed.We'll discuss:• Why survivors often fantasize about old relationships or "what could have been" & What victims often fantasize about inside the abusive relationships that will help you feel less alone• The connection between emotional abuse, grief, and rumination• Why comparing your real life to an imagined timeline keeps you stuck• The hidden fear that you've "missed your chance" at love and happiness• How to stop mourning the life that never happened and start creating the one that's still possible• Why healthy, safe, emotionally connected relationships are still available after abuseIf you're struggling with regret after divorce, grieving lost years, healing from emotional abuse, recovering from narcissistic abuse, or wondering whether you'll ever find healthy love again, this episode will help you feel seen, understood, and hopeful about what's still ahead.✨ Apply for a Root Cause Assessment & Action Plan✨ Explore coaching, courses, and free resources at Radiate & Rise✨ Listen to more episodes on healing, rumination, self-worth, and recovery after toxic relationshipsSet up your Free Call Today! Support the showReady to stop overthinking your past relationship and start feeling like yourself again?Visit www.radiatenrise.com to explore coaching programs, self-paced courses, free resources, and tools designed to help you break free from emotional abuse, rumination, and self-doubt.✍

In this episode I sit down with Sabrina Bendory, bestselling author and relationship coach whose work has reached tens of millions of people, to talk about something so many of us know intimately — the cycle of chasing the ones who don't choose us, while pushing away the ones who do. Sabrina shares her own decade of toxic relationship patterns, dating narcissists and emotionally unavailable men, and exactly what it took to finally break free — including what she calls her "Summer of Me," the moment everything changed. We talk about where the void actually comes from, what detachment really means, how approval addiction keeps us stuck, and what it feels like in your body when a relationship is finally healthy.This one is raw, honest, and deeply practical — and I think it is going to meet a lot of you exactly where you are.Connect with Sabrina:sabrinabendory.comwww.instagram.com/sabrinabendorySabrina's book: https://amzn.to/4cCcKZpWORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support:https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinayt.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinayt.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinayt.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinayt.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"Being detached doesn't mean you're detaching from people. You still care, you still want love — but you are detaching from outcomes." — Sabrina Bendory"The stink of desperation poisons everything. You have to channel that energy into something else, otherwise there's just too much at stake." — Sabrina Bendory"I am so much more than whether or not some avoidant guy chooses me — and once I made that shift, everything started to click into place." — Sabrina Bendory"In a healthy relationship you can be who you are, express your needs, set a boundary — and you're not afraid you're going to blow everything up." — Sabrina Bendory"When you're too attached, you don't have the feeling of I know I'll be okay. You feel like if this person doesn't choose me, I'm going to implode." — Sabrina Bendorysomatic healing, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, attachment healing, toxic relationship patterns, narcissistic abuse recovery, inner child work, emotional regulation, relational healing, self trust, self worth, codependency healing, people pleasing, approval addiction, detachment, embodiment, survival mode, burnout recovery, choosing yourself, deep within podcast 

Why didn't Samson leave? After three blatant betrayals, why did the strongest man alive stay with a woman who was actively trying to destroy him? Even today, people underestimate the power of emotional manipulation, weaponized “love”, and spiritual war. The strongest man stood no chance in the flesh. Why? Because the enemy can manipulate our desire to be loved and accepted—to bind us. In this video, we break down the anatomy of a toxic relationship to understand exactly how emotional manipulation and weaponized love defeated the man who couldn't be beaten by armies. In this, we cover: • The Trap of Delilah: How emotional manipulation bound the strongest man alive . • Spiritual Warfare: How Satan wants to use your weakness to destroy your strength. • Weaponized Love: The red flags Samson ignored and why we often stay in toxic situations for too long • The Judas Parallel: The striking similarities between the tactics of Delilah and Judas. • God's Sovereignty: How God turns betrayal, persecution, and evil into ultimate redemption Support Rise on Fire Ministries by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/rise-on-fire This podcast is powered by Pinecast.Read transcript

Friday, June 26, 2026 Today, another federal judge has permanently blocked Trump's order restricting mail-in voting; the Supreme Court has stripped temporary protected status from 350,000 Haitians and Syrians, and blocks asylum seekers at the border; vendors have been told to begin dismantling the Alligator Alcatraz concentration camp; massive earthquakes rocked Venezuela, Japan, and California; the Pentagon restored flu vaccines after hundreds fell ill; Senate Republicans caved on yesterday's War Powers Resolution; US Park Police seek to identify a person who touched the water in the reflecting pool a week ago; Jamie Raskin will open a discharge petition to force a vote on the $1.8B Slush Fund; a judge wants answers on why the tarp hasn't been removed from the Kennedy Center facade; plus Allison delivers your Good News. Thank You, Smalls For a limited time, get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life, when you head to Smalls.com/DAILYBEANS Join The Daily Beans and give a gift today to ensure The Trevor Project can continue its crucial work in the face of continued challenges. Donate to The Trevor Project - Daily Beans Podcast Guest: John FugelsangTell Me Everything|John Fugelsang, The John Fugelsang Podcast, John Fugelsang|Substack, @johnfugelsang|Bluesky, @JohnFugelsang|TwitterSeparation of Church and Hate by John Fugelsang The Latest Breakdown:The Breakdown | Trump And Trillionaires' Secret Plan To Destroy America StoriesVendors Told to Start Dismantling Florida's ‘Alligator Alcatraz' Detention Center | The New York Times Judge orders DOJ to produce, unredact sought after Epstein files | The Hill Supreme Court Allows Trump to Strip TPS, Turn Away Asylum Seekers Arriving at the Border in Pair of New Immigration Rulings | American Immigration Council Federal Judge Strikes Key Parts of Trump Order Restricting Mail Voting | The New York Times A federal judge wants answers on the tarp and scaffolding at the Kennedy Center | MS NOW Several Strong Quakes Hit Across the World in 24 Hours | The New York Times Pentagon restores mandatory flu shots for all recruits as boot camp outbreak sickens nearly 300 | AP News Reflecting Pool caulking cut with 'sharp knife or razor' in previously undisclosed incident, NPS says in court filing | ABC News Raskin launches discharge effort to formally block 'Anti-Weaponization Fund' | POLITICOGood TroubleMail-in voting is under attack. Here's what you can do - Democracy Docket Ballot Mail for Federal Elections - FederalRegister.gov →Oppose House Amendment to Defund the Peace Corps! →Comment on FR-6518-P-01 Equal Access  in HUD Programs Revisions  →Regulation for Federal Financial Assistance -  Open For Comments →FieldTeam6.org →Standwithminnesota.com →Tell Congress Ice out Now | Indivisible, Defund ICE | 5Calls →ICE List  →iceout.org Good News Tour — DANA GOLDBERGTickets for Dana Goldberg: Outrageous - Sep 23 - Den Theater - Chicago  →Share your Good News & Good Trouble - The Daily Beans →Beans Talk audio -beans-talk.simplecast.com →Email Dana LGBTQ Owned eating establishments in your area - hello@mswmedia.com Subject: “Dana's Project” Subscribe to the MSW YouTube Channel - MSW Media - YouTube Our Donation Links The Trevor Project - trevorproject.org/beans Blue Wave California - bluewavecalifornia.org/concert Donate to Public Citizen - https://citizen.org/beans/ The Daily Beans is donating $10,000 and invites you to give what you can to support their life-affirming work - Donate to It Gets Better / The Daily Beans Fundraiser Pathways to Citizenship link to MATCH Allison's Donationhttps://crm.bloomerang.co/HostedDonation?ApiKey=pub_86ff5236-dd26-11ec-b5ee-066e3d38bc77&WidgetId=6388736 Join Dana and The Daily Beans in support of Human Rights Campaign http://onecau.se/_ekes71 More Donation LinksNational Security Counselors - Donate, ActBlue.com/donate/msw-bwc, WhistleblowerAid.org/beans Dr. Allison Gill - The Breakdown | Allison Gill, Mueller, She Wrote @muellershewrote.com - Bluesky, MSW & The Daily Beans Podcast @muellershewrote - Instagram, MSW Media - YouTube →Federal workers - email AG at fedoath@pm.me and let me know what you're going to do, or just vent. I'm always here to listen.  Dana Goldberg - Dana is on Patreon! At Dana's Dugout, @dgcomedy - Bluesky, @dgcomedy - IG, Dana Goldberg - Facebook,  DanaGoldberg.com More from MSW Media - Shows - MSW Media, Cleanup On Aisle 45 pod, The Breakdown | Allison Gill Reminder - you can see the pod pics if you become a Patron. The good news pics are at the bottom of the show notes of each Patreon episode! That's just one of the perks of subscribing! patreon.com/muellershewrote Listener Survey:http://survey.podtrac.com/start-survey.aspx?pubid=BffJOlI7qQcF&ver=shortFollow the Podcast on Apple:https://apple.co/3XNx7ckWant to support the show and get it ad-free and early?https://patreon.com/thedailybeanshttps://dailybeans.supercast.com/https://apple.co/3UKzKt0 Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Why do you stay with someone who treats you terribly, while simultaneously believing they are your soulmate? In this video, Lee Hammock breaks down the exhausting psychological reality of cognitive dissonance in toxic relationships.Cognitive dissonance occurs when your brain is forced to hold two completely conflicting beliefs at the exact same time: "they love me" versus "they hurt me."We expose how an abuser or controlling person intentionally manufactures this mental fog through a calculated push-pull dynamic of intense love bombing followed by sudden cruelty. This isn't an accident—it's a design. We walk through the mechanics of the intermittent reinforcement cycle, the strongest form of behavioral conditioning known to psychology and explain the neurological basis of why you can't just walk away. Unpredictable dopamine hits from the rare "good moments" keep your brain chemically hooked, forcing you to hold onto a fantasy version of the abuser rather than the reality of who they are.Doubting your own memory and constantly questioning your reality.Justifying their toxic behavior to your friends, family, and yourself.Constant apologizing for things you didn't even do just to keep the peace.Total paralysis in decision-making because you no longer trust your own judgment.This intense mental friction traps you in a loop that literally makes you feel like you are going crazy. If you are ready to pull back the curtain on this emotional manipulation, stop the self-doubt, and reclaim your mental health, this deep dive is for you. Remember: naming it is your first step toward breaking it.Common Signs You Are Experiencing Cognitive Dissonance:Book a Coaching Session: [⁠⁠⁠⁠https://link.me/mentalhealness⁠⁠⁠⁠]

Every decision you make is shaping your future — whether you realize it or not.In this powerful solo episode of The Van Deeb Podcast, Van Deeb dives deep into the importance of personal choices, accountability, relationships, discipline, and surrounding yourself with the right people.Van explains why:your circle influences your success,bad habits are often chosen,toxic relationships can hold you back,and small daily decisions determine the direction of your life.From business success to personal happiness, Van challenges listeners to stop making excuses and start making intentional choices that move their lives forward.This episode is motivational, practical, emotional, and packed with real-life wisdom from over 44 years in business and leadership.ReferencesJim Rohn https://www.jimrohn.comZig Ziglar https://www.ziglar.comReal Estate Masterclass https://realestatemasterclass.com

You know something is wrong, you just cannot name it yet. In this episode, I walk through the cycle of abuse — tension building, explosion, reconciliation, and the illusion of calm — and explain why that cycle is exactly what keeps you hooked. I break down what a trauma bond is, how intermittent reinforcement conditions your nervous system to crave the person who is hurting you, and why your confusion, your self-blame, and your inability to just leave are not weaknesses. They are conditioned responses to abuse. I also share practical first steps for beginning to break the cycle, even if you are still inside the relationship — including how to tell yourself the truth privately, release the pattern of self-blame, and start choosing your own safety over someone else's comfort.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your RelationshipWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Episode 116 featuring Isaac Caree... What started with laughs, jokes, and sibling-like banter between B. Simone and Isaac Carree quickly turned into one of the most honest conversations we've had on LTTA. Isaac opens up about the pain of church hurt, betrayal, disappointment, and the difficult reality of being wounded by people who claimed to love God. Together, him and B.Simone unpack what it looks like to heal when trust has been broken, why every relationship isn't meant to be restored, and how to discern when God is calling you to release what you've been desperately trying to hold onto. If you've ever sat in a church pew beside someone who smiled in your face but hurt you behind your back, this conversation will hit home. This episode is for anyone carrying the weight of betrayal, struggling to let go, or wondering if forgiveness always means reconciliation. Sometimes healing begins when you stop trying to revive what God already told you to release.

This is absolutely heartbreaking!

Cutting The Cords sleep hypnosis. Cut the energetic cords of attachment from an unhealthy or toxic relationship so that they no longer affect you emotionally. Heal from this relationship, whether it be a partner, family member or friend. Sleep so deeply while your subconscious mind does the work. Your subconscious mind is always listening even during sleep.Download Sleep Time: Sleep Meditations App:⁠⁠⁠⁠https://onelink.to/sleeptime⁠⁠⁠⁠Designed for deep sleep and to fall asleep fast.Full access to my entire library of sleep meditations, subliminals, sleep stories, sleep music, and more.Subconscious work, manifesting, energy work, personal growth, emotional healing, extrasensory, and more.New releases arrive there first.Always ad-free.Extended versions up to many hours.Playlists, challenges, downloads, sleep journal, community, progress and more.My real human voice guaranteed.A familiar, trusted voice your nervous system recognises.Your support helps me create more for you.Important notePlease do not play this audio while driving or doing anything else. This audio and its contents are for entertainment purposes only.If you suffer from any kind of mental health condition, please seek advice from your health care professional as to the suitability of 'subliminal affirmations' for you. Keep your audio volume at a comfortable level; otherwise, as with any loud sound, sleep could be disrupted. Thank you.© 2026 Nicky Sutton Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we talk about the importance of protecting your peace and guarding your mental space from constant negativity. Many of us have relationships that exist simply because time has passed, but we rarely stop to ask whether those relationships actually add value to our lives. Some people seem to thrive on sharing bad news, predicting failure, and filling conversations with doom and gloom. Over time, that negativity can quietly drain your energy and influence your mindset.This episode explores why negative news spreads so quickly, how the people around us shape our thinking, and why successful individuals are intentional about who they allow into their inner circle. We also discuss the importance of evaluating friendships and romantic relationships honestly. If someone consistently brings chaos, discouragement, or doubt into your life, it may be time to create healthy distance.Protecting your peace does not mean burning bridges. It simply means recognizing that your mind is valuable real estate and choosing not to let negativity live there rent-free.Check us out -  Instagram and Twitter: JeroldJax Facebook:  Jerold Action Jackson and Zone Of ActionJeroldJackson.comHappiness starts with you. Not with your relationship, not with your job, not with your money, but with you in the Zone of Action.

  Toxic Relationships, High Conflict Divorce, And How To Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances. Join Me As I Talk To Authors Lisa Johnson And Chris Barry From "Been There Got Out" About Their New 2nd Book: 'When Your Ex Turns The Kids Against You!    Welcome to Life With Peter G, the show where we explore the many facets of life through the lens of host Peter G's unique perspective. From business to relationships, personal growth to pop culture, Peter G takes us on a journey of discovery and self-reflection with each episode. With a combination of insightful inteiews, engaging discussions, and personal anecdotes, Life With Peter G offers a fresh and authentic take on the human experience. Join us as we delve into the complexities and joys of life, one conversation at a time. This is Life With Peter G, The Peter G Show Every Wednesday Night. 6:00pm Pacific, 8:00pm Central, and 9:00pm Eastern. We're Talking About Things You Need To Hear. Check It Out. Don't forget to listen on the go with The Peter G Show On Audio Podcast Everywhere. And Please Like and Subscribe to The Peter G Show YouTube Channel. Love You Guys, Peace Out. @drphil @greggutfeld @gutfeld! @envoytv @foxnews @drphilmcgraw @gutfeldfox @podcastone @envoymediagroup @envoymediacompany @beentheregotout #petergshow,#subscribe,#like,#follow,#truth,#share,#america,#love,#drphil,#drphilmcgraw,#gutfeld,#greggutfeld,#gutfeldfox,#fun,#grateful,#god,#entertainment,#new,#currentevents,#podcast,#billgates,#news,#commonsense,#divorce,#beentheregotout

This episode includes narrations of true creepy encounters submitted by normal folks just like yourself. Today you'll experience horrifying stories about Toxic Relationships & Dark Family Secrets.HAVE A STORY TO SUBMIT?LetsReadSubmissions@gmail.comFOLLOW ME ON -►YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/letsreadofficial► Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/letsread.official/♫ Music & Cover art: INEKThttps://www.youtube.com/@inektToday's episode is sponsored by:- Betterhelp

Are you seeing things in your marriage or a relationship that feel a little intense or puzzling…and you’re not sure if they're normal or actually signs of a toxic relationship? If so, it's important to pause and look at the pieces of the puzzle together to see what they might be telling you. To discover if you're in a toxic relationship take our free emotional abuse test. Here are five things that might seem “normal,” but aren’t: SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP THAT ARE EASY TO MISS 1. HE WANTS TO MOVE THE RELATIONSHIP FORWARD QUICKLY When you’re in a relationship with someone who seemingly shares and cares about your values and interests, it’s easy to be swept up by the intensity of it all. Especially if the relationship seems to happen at the “right” time, and things move forward quickly. But this level of intensity and pace doesn’t give you time to slow down and really think about why you seem so compatible. 2. HE WANTS CONSTANT ACCESS TO YOU, BUT HE’S CLOSED OFF It might seem caring for your partner or husband to want to know where you are all of the time. But is it reciprocal or does it feel one-sided, like he needs constant visibility into your life, while parts of his remain just out of reach? Many women in these situations describe a quiet, hard-to-explain feeling that something isn't adding up. Like he's keeping close tabs on them… while also keeping options, information, or even other relationships carefully hidden. 3. HIS MOODS SHIFT SUDDENLY AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHY Think about it…in healthy relationships, partners are usually aware of the reasons why one partner isn’t in a good mood. They typically communicate about bad days at work or when they’re not feeling well. But in toxic relationships, that level of trust and communication often isn’t there, because one partner doesn’t want it to be. Everything's fine, until it's not, and then, it suddenly is again…And you're left trying to figure out what changed. 4. HE‘S UPSET OVER SMALL THINGS Things that don't seem like a big deal, suddenly are signs of a toxic relationship. For example, you miss a turn on the way to his best friend’s birthday party… and suddenly it's not about directions anymore. He's accusing you of being disrespectful, or doing it on purpose because you don’t want to go. Or you might simply ask him to help with the groceries, and suddenly he’s angry because, “you don’t respect his time and all the things he has to do.” 5. HE’S A DIFFERENT PERSON WHEN OTHERS ARE WATCHING Things feel tense, confusing, or even cold behind closed doors…but in public, he seems calm, kind, hardworking, and completely put together. For example, during counseling or around friends, he might appear thoughtful, patient, and willing to work on the relationship. He says the right things. He looks sincere. Other people may even be impressed by how hard he's trying. But when you're alone again, it's different. The warmth disappears. The tension returns. And you're left trying to reconcile the version of him everyone else sees…with the version you live with every day. If you relate and you need support, we’re always online to help you. Go to btr.org/group/ to see my daily support group schedule. TRANSCRIPT: EARLY SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HUSBAND Anne:  I did an interview with a member of our community. We’re going to call her Iris, She talked about how his toxic patterns showed up in her marriage and what happened when she started using the strategies she learned in my workshop. Here’s that interview. Welcome, Iris.  Iris: Thank you. Glad to be here. Anne: Let’s start at the beginning of your story. Can you talk about how you felt when you first met your husband? Iris: He was very charming, and he seemed extremely sincere. Now I understand that he was love bombing me and was trying to make things go fast. It was very intense. And he preyed upon me at a time when I was really ready to get married and have kids. Everybody was getting married and having kids. So he went right for what was the most vulnerable part of me. And we met through a young adult single thing in our group. He proceeded to be very attentive. Anne: When you say young adult, single thing, that sounds a little bit like my faith. What’s your faith background? Iris: it’s the Catholic church. It’s actually Theology on Tap, which is at a brew pub, and you can buy a drink and mingle. And then they have a speaker. Anne: Kind of Matt Fraddish. Iris: Yes. Anne: I actually know Matt Fradd in real life. Iris: And I don’t go to the Catholic church anymore. But that was a huge part of our marriage and, we were really in a circle of pretty devout people. Which also I think contributed to my willingness to submit to him. Anne: When you say submit, can you talk about that a little bit more? EARLY CONTROL DISGUISED AS CARE AND SHARED VALUES Iris: Hindsight, there were red flags before we married. There were early signs of coercive control. It dates me, but cell phones weren’t the norm yet. And he bought me a cell phone so he could reach me more easily. He was pretty volatile. He asked me to marry him within a month or two and I deferred and we dated longer, but he was just intense. Then he would be very sorry. He would cold shoulder me at points. He’d be angry for things that were weird, wasn’t very flexible. Now I know these were signs of a toxic relationship. We went through nine months of marriage prep. So many Christian circles focus on the idea that the man is the head. I saw that in my parents' marriage too. My dad made all the decisions. My mom was independent in some ways, but she still did what he wanted. I think I expected marriage to look like that. The husband leads and the wife follows. Even though I was independent, had a master's degree, was over 30, and had traveled, I still lived in a huge Christian community where that model of marriage was everywhere. NOT RECOGNIZING SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP Anne: And you just mentioned nobody actually says that, but they actually do say that, it might not be in so many words. It might not be so directly, but they like actually say it. And if you call ’em out and say, “Hey, you said this.” They usually deny it. “Of course, I didn’t say that.” And you’re like, “What? You did.” That’s the part that’s really confusing. The therapists come in or the clergy comes in, or the friends and family, and they gaslight you too. It’s like, “You’re putting words in my mouth. I didn’t say that.” Especially when they find out what he is really like, and you’re like, “What?” “You told me this.” “Well, I never did.” And they for sure did. It’s almost like no matter what you do, you can’t win. There are friends of mine and maybe friends of yours too, who are amazing and they’re like, “Oh my word, I said the wrong thing.” That is so validating. I feel like when I meet people like that, it’s easy to be like, “It’s okay did the ‘wrong thing’ too. I was doing the best I could and I didn’t know that he was abusive. And I didn’t know what was happening, and didn’t recognize signs of a toxic relationship. So I can’t blame you either.” But, for the other people who continue to not believe us and deny that they said or did certain things. ‘That’s harder. Cause it becomes this almost group of unhealthy people that you’re dealing with, rather than just the one unhealthy person. Iris: Right. Signs of a Toxic Relationship: The Sudden Switch After Marriage Anne: Did you end up going to couple therapy? Iris: In the Catholic Church you do Pre-Cana, which is pre-marriage counseling, and they saw some things that were concerning. He was very intent that he could change things. They would categorize it like how we were different. I think she said to me, “Life might always be kind of hard for him.” ‘Cause that’s what she was seeing.. He works very hard, so he seems very sincere. And he met with the man in the couple we met with. And read books and was very sincere. They said to us, “Oh, we’ve never seen somebody work so hard to try to improve themselves so that they’re ready for a marriage.” He impressed them, and I remember feeling exhausted by that point. And it was a mask. I now know that these were signs of a toxic relationship. Anne: Like you shouldn’t have to work that hard. to be normal. They are hard workers, because it would be very hard to pretend all the time. Iris: Right, and that’s how he lives. He has a mask all the time. We had this huge Catholic wedding, like an hour and 20 minute long mass. And it was that night the switch flipped. And he was angry. He cold shouldered me. We’d waited till our wedding night, and he said things that were incredibly humiliating. Seeing THE SAME SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP IN OTHER WOMEN’S STORIES Iris: Then the next morning he would hardly talk to me. And we left the beautiful hotel. We were to go to a morning brunch at my parents, with guests who were from outta town and our families. And he was furious because people had decorated our car. And he had to stop at a car wash to rinse everything off before we even got to the wedding brunch. Anne: I used this story in my book. Iris: You did? Anne: Yes, this story. Someone else had the same story. Iris: Isn’t that amazing? Like how these Chucks do the same thing to us and have all the same signs of a toxic relationship. Anne: ‘ Like Twilight Zone. Cause you never gave me that story. Iris: isn’t that amazing? I feel like that in group a lot. I’m like, “Oh, that happened to me.” Anne: BTR has been like me trying to fit all the pieces together. And as I’ve tried to fit all the pieces together, things became very clear. And I’ve become very good at seeing in the dark. So this piece of the puzzle I was trying to get it to fit. Like why did he do that? I’ve never met you before, but I spent a lot of time piecing just this piece. With the other pieces that I had of other people’s stories to say, what was this about? I’ve spent so much time with this story in my brain and what it meant. I’m like, holy cow. Iris: Thank you. Thank you for somewhere to tell it, because it was something that felt so shameful for such a long time, rejected, and humiliated. RECOGNIZING THE PATTERNS OF EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE PARTNERS Iris: So we went to that wedding brunch, and I knew he was on edge the whole time. Other people didn’t necessarily see that. We got back to the house we were making our home together, which was his house. And he was angry, he didn’t want to go on our honeymoon, but I was like, I’ve been planning a wedding. All I have been thinking of is being able to go rest on a beach. So he agreed to go, and it was a really a horrible week. He was just fighting. His anger and unreasonableness, were more signs of a toxic relationship. It’s so hard, because he can make it feel like I’m also participating. We finally came home after the week, and at several points I thought maybe I should just fly home,’because it was awful. How would I even ask somebody to come and pick me up? What would I say? What would I do? Feeling so humiliated, like we had this big wedding, we’d done all this preparation, so we finally came home and I remember the first morning after we’d gotten home. He got up, he didn’t even talk to me. He grabbed his mountain bike, and he went mountain biking all day. That was a pattern that repeats throughout our marriage, where he just does his own, yeah. Anne: I had a mountain biking all day incident as well that I wrote about in my book. All of a sudden I’m like, what is happening? This is Twilight Zone, yes. Iris: No way. The Chucks, it’s the Chuck thing, which has been the most powerful thing to learn. WOMEN HAVE DIFFERENT RESPONSES Anne: Surreal that they’re all the same. I think that’s one of the powerful things about our group sessions is that the women are so different. We all react differently and we’re all doing the right thing. Because all of our personalities are different. So some of us want to protect ourselves by being quiet and sitting back and that’s the right thing for us. Some of us want to fight the guy, because that’s how our personality is. But they do all the same things. It doesn’t seem the same, because we haven’t acted the same. And I think the thing that like really helps it all come together is when you realize they’re so transactional. That they’re going to manipulate you in whatever way works for you, all signs of a toxic relationship. So if you’ve been trying to protect yourself in a certain way, they’ve been countering your protection methods in a certain way. And then when you change up the way you’re trying to protect yourself, they almost become like a different person. But they’ve been that same exact person the whole time. It’s just that they’re so transactional that they’re like, oh, that’s not working anymore. I have to do this other thing. And this whole new set of problems comes out so they can be super, super nice or super aggressive. But the whole time, it’s manipulation and lies. Did he ever go through a time where he seemed like he was really great? WHEN PREGNANCY AND BAD ADVICE KEEP YOU STUCK WITH SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP Iris: I got pregnant right away, so I probably would’ve left, but then I was pregnant and trying to navigate that. When I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, I went to therapy right away, and that therapist just didn’t have the skills to recognize an emotional cycle of abuse and really gaslit me. Then got pregnant again when my daughter was nine months old. So I had two babies, under 18 months old. That was another thing. In my faith, that I grew up with, you’re supposed to accept all babies. That was something that really kept me trapped. I knew once I was pregnant that I would always have to be linked to him. And that was incredibly devastating and terrifying. I think the Christian, and I’m going to say trope, I don’t want to make fun of anybody, but the trope of marriage that you just have to work hard enough and it will all be fine. That really was so damaging when signs of a toxic relationship are present. He did tell me early in our marriage that he had struggled with porn. He did the Every Man’s Battle stuff and everything like that. Also he confided in me that he’d used some at work. He has a security clearance and was about to be interviewed with a, polygraph. He was afraid they would ask him something like that. At the time, he was abusive our whole marriage, but it was the most intense. I didn’t even have the wherewithal to understand that. It was disturbing, it made me feel awful. But I didn’t have any brain space to process what to do with that. He downloaded it on me to get it off his chest. HE WAS Emotionally ABUSIVE ALL OF THE TIME Iris: After my second baby was born, he was probably seven months old, I tried to leave to go to a mom’s group. My ex-husband was angry with me because of my daughter, who’s my older one. I was working on potty training her. And I let her wear pants without underwear. She pooped and he was furious. He came up behind me in the bathroom and pushed me against the counter and said, “Next time, make sure she wears underwear.” So he was abusive all of the time, disrupted my sleep, and would wake me up in the night angry if I coughed. I had to sleep on 18 inches of the bed or less, without moving to not anger him. The reaction I had was to kick him to get him to back up. That’s when he grabbed me by the throat and started to strangle me. And I know now, but I felt terrible later. All I wanted to do was leave. I got my coat and I got in the car and I left. My children were still in the house with him. I just wanted to get away. I went to the mom’s group like everything was fine. But I was dissociated and in trauma. I had gone to my therapist then within a day or two and just poured everything out. And her response was, other women have it worse. And I was so humiliated, like feeling somehow I had caused this. Even though like I knew, I have education. I was in my thirties, I knew that wasn’t right. But the abuse had taken so much of my strength. That kept me so trapped for so long. It made it harder to open up. Therapists aren’t equipped to see signs of a toxic relationship Iris: And we went to so many marriage therapists, who just aren’t equipped. Because Chuck is charming, and they just don’t understand the dynamic except for one therapist who we did not go back to. They didn’t see the signs of a toxiC relationship. But she was crazy. So we went in, it was this dilapidated house. She was far back in the house. The door was open. We went in and sat down. Literally a dog with sores and the cone of shame came out, and she was like, I’ll be right there. Chuck was like, so wigged out. She came out and talked to us for a little while. She also had paranoid notes tacked up on her wall. Anyway, she talks to us for a little while, and Chuck is so wigged out, so Chuck is walking out. And before we leave she says, I want to give you something. And she hands me a page, and it has books on it. So I went home and ordered it, and then it came and I didn’t read it, like I couldn’t read it. I didn’t read it for the longest time, because it was just so painful. But that was the only therapist who saw the signs of a toxic relationship. And then I found out the next week she lost her license, in the newspaper. Anyway, she was the only one who saw the abuse and handed me a key. Anne: So she handed you a clue. When His “I Choose You” Doesn't Add Up Iris: A clue, and she was right. I had gone to other therapists over the years. I looked just crazy, because I would just cry. One therapist had different offices and I would always go to the wrong one. because I had no short term working memory available. Chuck disrupted my sleep. I’d be in the shower, he’d bring the baby in screaming and put them on the bath mat and I’d have to get out and take care of the baby. He’d drive angry, the list goes on and on. I just didn’t have the words to explain. We went to a mom’s group event where dads were invited. And he was angry at me the whole time, but only I knew that. And then I had to get in the car and drive home with him. So it was really intense. And then at about the seven year mark, he decided that marriage worked for him. It was such a delight, such a relief to have him gone for two weeks. He came home from a business trip. And he said, “I realized it’s been you the whole time. You’re really the one that I want to be married to.” Anne: Oh Iris: Right. Anne: Wait, he was having an affair. Iris: I don’t know. Anne: That sounds like something someone would say if they just broke up with someone. Because they’re like trying to choose between the person they’re having an affair with. In my book, I put the pieces together. FROM THE DAY WE GOT MARRIED, THERE WERE SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP Anne: After interviewing over 200 women and hearing their stories. I’m pretty good at knowing what happened. I think in this situation, he’s having an affair and she breaks up with him. He’s feeling bummed about it. He might say out loud to you, I decided I want to be with you. Iris: Mm hmm Anne: You don’t have the context of the affair, of him breaking up with her. So this really weird out of the blue statement, “I’ve decided I want to be married to you.” When he’s been married to you for seven years is odd. It also feels like a relief, “Oh, maybe he just didn’t want to be married to me before, and now he’s choosing me.” But you don’t realize what a weird out of place thing that is, because he makes you feel better in that moment. I don’t know if that rings true to you, but it seems that would be the order of events that would precipitate out of the blue, telling you, “Oh, I’m choosing you now.” Iris: Yeah, it didn’t make me feel better, because from the day we got married, he was horrible. it was awful. Anne: So you’re like, great. Now this awful person really wants to be married to me. Iris: It felt like a lie. Now that I understand how Chuck works, like there was something he wanted, he didn’t really love me. Somebody who really loved me and realized they were wrong would’ve not said that. I think they would’ve said, ” I’ve been horrible. I can see why you wouldn’t even want to be married to me, but I realized I really want to be married to you. They would’ve said something to try to heal that. Anne: Some effort to repair. Seeing the Patterns and Signs of a Toxic Relationship Anne: Instead it was more signs of a toxic relationship. Iris: I think so. And I think that’s why it felt awful. Because he manipulated me. Which I don’t think I could verbalize at that time, but he manipulated again. Anne: Were you about to leave at that time? Was there anything about you that was different? Iris: He knew that I was unhappy, but he was abusive all of the time, yeah. Anne: Did you ever find out about explicit media use? Iris: He told me, in hindsight, he’d invited a single woman that he’d never met to our wedding. Which was weird. It was a last minute thing, and I feel like she was probably a backup. Anne: You’ve said three stories now that sound exactly like other stories. I have heard this before. Your story includes all the classic, down to the detail. Iris: Wow Anne: Of inviting someone else to the wedding. Iris: The Chuckness of it. Anne: You got a winner. Iris: He’s a doozy. He told me later that he didn’t actually want to get married. Then when I look at inviting this woman to the wedding, he didn’t admit that for many years. But when he did, I was like, oh, so she must have been the escape hatch. If he didn’t go through with marrying me, he would’ve had someone in the wings. FEELING HELPLESS Iris: I suspect he continues to use porn. He is in cybersecurity, and he always had three computers in his office. So I wonder if one of those he used. I don’t know. I’ve always been curious about what that was. I don’t think I was as tuned into that until I was leaving the marriage. And then there wasn’t much that I had access to. There wasn’t anybody that seemed to have that language who I could talk to. I just felt really helpless, and he was very manipulative and very controlling, the love bombing, he is very good at. The other part was that I was super reactive at that point. So I felt very guilty about my responses to his behavior. Even though it was less intense and further apart. But the reality is that those first seven years, in the bedroom, total coercion, marital rape, and everything now that I have words for, had happened. By that point, like there was very little he had to do to make me comply, to try to stay out of his way. I would try to have a separate life, while maintaining that Christian marriage appearance. It took me a long time to see these as signs of a toxic relationship. Anne: We would probably call it like survival mode. You are trying to survive and that’s why a lot of people use the word survivor when they talk about abuse victims, because every day you’re just trying to survive. Why Getting Help Feels So Scary at First Iris: Yeah, daily. Navigate all of the things that are happening that just don’t make any sense. And I don’t have the words for. I think during the pandemic, I started to see your Instagrams. And it was like, oh, that’s what’s happening, those are the words. That’s what this is. And beginning to be able to label things and feel like I’m not alone. Then, wanting to join group, but then being afraid. What if it doesn’t help, I don’t want Chuck to know I’m joining? Just feeling do I really want to do that? because I felt like if I go through that door, I can’t go back. Anne: Can we talk about that for a minute? because a lot of women have told me that. I followed you on Instagram, or I listened to the podcast, and I didn’t start attending group sessions because I knew it would change everything. What is it about BTR that is different in that way? It’s different than maybe therapy or something. Is it because you’re going to finally get help to look at it. Seeing the signs of a toxic relationship can be scary at first. Iris: This can make me cry. I think, because no one had helped. So I think there was an element of, I could try this and probably it’s still not going to help. By that point, looking for help for so long and thinking, I don’t know that anything will help. then being so vulnerable and beaten down. I think there’s a sense of like, does anybody really want to help me? Do I deserve help? because it certainly seems like it’s my fault. So being very afraid to join a group. Like it’s terrifying the first day. BTR FELT LIKE AN ANSWER TO PRAYER Anne: Once you did attend a group session? Were you surprised at what happened? Iris: Yeah, the first day I joined, you hear that zoom beep and you are in group and feeling so afraid. But I was so welcome. it was like I could take a breath, even though really I was crying so hard. Hearing everybody talk, hearing the coaches talk, feeling like the words made sense. I didn’t share that first time, but just crying afterwards. Like there’s somewhere that gets this. There’s somewhere where there are other women who understand this. I’ve never met anybody who knows what’s happening to me. In my story, something that’s amazing was that when my daughter was a baby, there was this show on daytime TV called Starting Over House. It was a reality show for women to go to this house and start over. They had two coaches, and I remember watching these women go, and they had all different kinds of problems that they were trying to grow from or whatever. All I wanted was to take my baby and join that house. It was a reality show. I’m sure it would not have been really super helpful. But I just wanted to have people love on me and help me figure out my marriage. That’s all I wanted. So when I came to Betrayal Trauma Recovery group, I’m not kidding you, two of the coaches looked like those two coaches on that show. It just felt like it was a prayer answer. HIS ANGER WAS THERE ALL THE TIME Iris: So Sharon and Renee, two coaches loved on me and made me feel like I wasn’t crazy. And helped me to slowly unravel what had been happening and what had happened to me, and find my voice. I joined in the spring, I was already starting to take steps in my marriage to not engage with Chuck. By July, he was angry with me all of the time. Which I’ll come back to in just a minute. But , before I had joined, he had done some really angry driving in the car. He’d been angry one day when I had locked the door to the master bedroom, because I like to pray and meditate. And then I had gotten in the shower without unlocking it. Because I just want privacy from two kids, a dog and a Chuck. He banged on the door for as long as I was in the shower, and I could hardly hear him, but it scared the pants off of my kids. I felt like I didn’t know what to do. When I joined group, I finally started to have some strategies and observe him. Sometimes I forget all the things that happened. Right before I joined in February, he bought a new car and asked for money from his father. Then he came to me and said, “I didn’t spend all the money on the car. I saved some, so either you can go to marriage therapy with me.”, which he’d been threatening, and I didn’t want to go to marriage therapy with him because we’d been many, many times. GROUP HELPED ME SEE THE SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP Iris: He said, “Either you go to marriage therapy with me, and I’ll buy a car for our daughter, or I’m going to divorce you. Not long after that, I ended up joining group. Then he said, “I used that money to file for divorce. I hired an attorney, and how do you want me to serve you your papers?” At that point, I had enough skill to say you can have me served, thank you. And it was super calm. And then I actually jumped in group and was able to just process. One of the things that was so amazing was that everything happening to me in real time, I could then go in a group, get support, be in my closet, my car, or at the library. The more I went towards health and boundaries, the angrier he got. So he actually continued to ask me for two months how I wanted my divorce papers. I can see how divorce and emotional abuse were intertwined, he was using the threat of divorce to try to control me. I would say, “You can have me served.” And he would say, I don’t want to pay $400. He did that until I got a paper in the mail and I thought that I was being served. I didn’t think I could be served in the mail, which you can’t in my state, but it was actually that they were going to kick it out of the system. I took that paper to an attorney, because I had been interviewing attorneys. That kicked off the divorce process. Because I was served. Anne: That whole time he is asking, “How do you want to be served? And you’re like, “Just serve me.” DEALING WITH CONTROL WHEN HE FILED FOR DIVORCE Anne: He's trying to get you to do something to stop the divorce. He threatens you—if you don't toe the line, I'll divorce you. When you’re like, okay, go ahead and divorce me, then he’s escalating. Using all the tricks and signs of a toxic relationship that worked before. He reminds me of my ex, who said that. Then he didn’t file. Because he thought that would instigate me repairing. Or me doing the thing I was supposed to do. And when I didn’t do it, I don’t think he wanted to file for divorce. It’s just that he couldn’t figure out how to control me anymore. He was like, well, I guess I have to make these things happen. And it sounds the same in this scenario, where he’s trying to get you to do something. Because a normal person, if they’re like, how do you want me to serve you? And you say, oh, just serve me. They’d be like, okay. And they would serve you. Iris: Right, it was control. I was so thankful I could go back in group and have the framework, putting my lab coat on, doing one step at a time. Getting shored up so that I wouldn’t be bowled over by his behavior. I finally hired an attorney, and my attorney notified his attorney. Chuck came to me and said, “Well, that’s not fair. You didn’t tell me you had an attorney. And now we both have to decide to dismiss the divorce. I can’t just decide myself.” Anne: Like not to get divorced? After he’s filed, he’s like, wait. Now that you’ve responded to me serving you with divorce papers, we actually have to get divorced. Iris: Right. Anne: That sounds like my Chuck too. INDIVIDUAL SESSIONS HELPED ME GET READY FOR EACH BIG BATTLE Iris: Really, it’s like they’re all going by the same playbook. I think realizing that these are all the signs of a toxic relationship was huge. And it allowed me to understand that my job was to be strategic. Chuck does a lot of stupid as a strategy. That attorney he hired in July, by the time our status conference was in October, he’d used all of his retainer. Which was $5,000, and nothing had happened yet. Because he is a Chuck and likes to call his attorney to talk. So then right after the status conference, he fired the attorney and then went pro se for a while. I was so thankful that I had BTR, that I could do group. I could do the Betrayal Trauma Recovery individual sessions to get ready for each big barrier or battle with him, so that I went in calm and focused. It really allowed me, in my divorce process to understand that this was the best thing for me. Even though he was trying to control me. It was finally the door out. And he kept coming back to me and asking, “Do you really want a divorce?” And I would say, “You could move out.” But he never would. One of the other things was that understanding that there was going to be so much out of my control and really focusing on what was in my control. In my coaching sessions with Renee and with Sharon, being able to determine what my top priorities were. My priorities weren’t numbers. My priorities were big picture. And then I said, these are the things that are most important and this is what I want to work towards. And it helped me. I feel like things worked out well for me. WE SETTLED AN HOUR BEFORE COURT Iris: So having enough money to restart and go back to school. Having stability for my kids, not selling the house immediately so that my daughter could finish high school. Like those were the big picture things. And because Chuck just wants to fight, it was the 11th hour literally. He hired an attorney again, just weeks before our divorce was final. But we ended up settling like an hour before court. I was able just to hang on, to understand it was going to be like that no matter what I did. Like I didn’t have any control over him, and I really got up that morning not knowing what was going to happen. And being at peace in that, and that I was doing all the things that I needed to do, and to let go of that so that I wasn’t in a battle with him. That was incredibly powerful. Hard but powerful. So it’s been final for two years. And the post separation abuse continues, and BTR’s been incredibly helpful in that. I was able to stay in our marital home for a year till our daughter graduated, and then last year that sold. So I moved out and things just lined up. In part because he was so disorganized. I think that worked out in my favor. And I’m now in school finishing a post Master’s certificate in school counseling. And I got hired last fall as a school counselor. So I’m working full-time as a school counselor while finishing my certificate. Just having somewhere to work out the technical stuff and then the emotional stuff, to understand how to be strategic. RESTARTING MY LIFE Iris: Because I could stay in that place rather than be in his blender. Which is what it was for 18 years. I have been able to restart my life and feel so grateful and fortunate. That I’ve had the support, and he continues to be abusive. And my daughter now is 19 and my son is 17. And so being able to talk about that and how he behaves helped me. I know that at some point, I won’t have to interact with him as much. Or at all once my kids are bigger. But because of the type of abuser he is, because of the types of things he did to me, I know that I am at greater risk of him being dangerous to me physically. And so being able to unpack that, but also, understanding that I have a right to safety and that I can take steps to do that and not feel bad about it. He’s much sneakier now. He’s incredibly angry with me and feels like the divorce was unfair. Because his goal is control, he can’t control me anymore, I think is one reason why he’s angry. It is palpable when I’m around him. He seethes at me. Other people may not be able to see it because he’ll mask it until there’s nobody around. But I think it has been invaluable to me to have a community where I can process that and then take steps to be safe from all the signs of a toxic relationship. When I finally blocked him, which was scary to do, because we have two kids. And that was easier to be able to text and call. It was just another vector for him to get to me. BLOCKING HIM FELT SO EMPOWERING Iris: So blocking him and doing email only. It felt so empowering to make that decision and be able to unpack that in group and also get the support of “Yay, you finally blocked him.” Like I’d been talking about it for so long. And trying to figure out the signs of a toxic relationship, There are the big steps to leave abuse and there are smaller ones too. Sometimes it’s the little ones that felt really hard. Especially because then my kids would know that I blocked him. Moving away from abuse is hard. I left the house today because I have somebody cleaning my house, which I started hiring somebody. So that I can do all that I’m doing. because I’ve been in school and working full-time and parenting two teens, and it feels so empowering. When they walked in today, I was thinking, because I was coming to talk to you and I was like, they’re helping me leave abuse. And I can say that to you. I think you know that. But he was abusive with cleaning. He would wake me. He likes things clean. He’d wake the kids cleaning and it’s very controlling. But to have a clean house and not be abused, it’s hard to express. This is my safe space, and I get to decide how it gets clean. I get to decide how to spend my money. I get to make choices now that I couldn’t make before. I’m just so incredibly grateful that BTR, I can make choices and know that I can. Thank you. LEARNING THE STRATEGIES IS INVALUABLE Anne: You are so brave and so strong. Look at you. You’ve got a good job. You have enough money to be able to hire someone to help clean your house, and the lack of guilt. Because some people have the money, but they’re like, I still can’t. I should be able to, no, like look at all the amazing things that you’ve accomplished. When it comes to divorce, if people ask me my situation, I say I am proudly divorced. I am so happy divorced. And I also say things like abuse doesn’t work out for a lot of people, but it worked out so well for me. Because everything that I have gained from learning about the signs of a toxic relationship and the strategies of protecting myself, has been invaluable. Like our confidence just grows day by day. That little voice in our heads and that little like charge that feels like I’m doing something wrong or I can’t do this or I can’t do that just starts to fade away. And life feels so free and wonderful. I’m so happy for you. It’s wonderful. Good job. Iris: Thank you, thank you for starting BTR and your podcasts were such a beacon for me too. Before I started group of these voices saying, “You’re not alone, you’re not crazy.” Listening to your voice, I still probably need to hear that a lot, because he makes me feel crazy. So thank you. Anne: Well, thank you, without women like you who listen and come and use our services, we wouldn’t be here. So thank you. Our services are incredible. Our team is incredible. It’s such a safe place. THE DIFFERENCE WITH BTR SERVICES Anne: I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between BTR and the difference in our services is that it’s so real. You really have women you can see who know your story. You can talk to them every single day in person . And they’re never going to blame you or judge you. It’s never going to be that you made some kind of soul contract, like the weird stuff that you might hear from people who somehow try to blame you. I’m like, there’s no reason to ever say any of it had anything to do with you. because you were surviving the best you could the whole time, and you were going for help, and no one gave you the right information. And none of that has anything to do with you. They are helping you deal with the signs of a toxic relationship. That’s the crazy thing about abuse. You’re doing every single thing right and you still can’t get the right information. Despite you trying to get it for years. Some people don’t believe it, because they can’t imagine that would happen. But it happens every day with so many women all over the world. Anyway, thank you for your support of BTR. Iris: It is really such a privilege to be in this community. I felt, loved on and prayed for fiercely. BTR GIVES US THE STRATEGIES THAT WE NEED Iris: I remember when I first started. I thought they’re giving us the weapons that we need to fight the battle. Almost under the cover of darkness. They sort of come into our homes, our cars, our closets, and give us the weapons we need to fight the evil that is happening to all of us. Like all of a sudden realizing the support, but also the education that BTR does, is invaluable, to help us recognize and deal with the signs of a toxic relationship. I could get out of my reactive brain and really start to think, “Oh, this is what’s happening. Okay, this is what I can do. Chuck is doing this. This is what I’ve always done, but I don’t have to do that. I can do this.” It changed everything. Anne: Well, I am so glad, thank you so much, Iris, for taking the time to share your story with me today. Iris: Thank you.

حلقة جديدة مهمة من البودكاسترز مع د. مهاب مجاهد، بنتكلم عن العلاقات، الجواز، الطلاق، التربية، والأزمات النفسية اللي بتأثر على حياتنا اليومية. هل المشكلة فعلًا في استسهال الطلاق؟ ولا في استسهال الجواز من البداية؟ د. مهاب مجاهد بيشرح إزاي نختار شريك الحياة صح، وإيه الفرق بين الحب الحقيقي وشريك الحياة، وليه التوافق المادي والاجتماعي والفكري أهم من مجرد المشاعر. في الحلقة بنتكلم كمان عن العلاقات السامة، النرجسية، الخوف من الالتزام، الذكورة والأنوثة السامة، وإزاي الجواز الناجح محتاج فضل ومرونة مش حقوق بس. كمان بندخل في جزء مهم جدًا عن تربية الأطفال، العقاب الصحي، حماية الطفل من التنمر والإيذاء، وبر الوالدين، وتأثير الطلاق على الأبناء. حلقة مهمة لكل شخص بيفكر في الجواز، داخل علاقة، متجوز، أو عنده أطفال وعايز يفهم نفسه وعلاقاته بشكل أعمق. A new important episode of El Podcasters with Dr. Mohab Megahed, where we talk about relationships, marriage, divorce, parenting, and the psychological struggles that affect our everyday lives. Is the real problem the ease of divorce? Or is it the ease of getting married in the first place? Dr. Mohab Megahed explains how to choose the right life partner, the difference between love and a life partner, and why financial, social, and intellectual compatibility can be more important than emotions alone. In this episode, we also discuss toxic relationships, narcissism, fear of commitment, toxic masculinity and femininity, and why a successful marriage needs grace and flexibility, not just rights. We also dive into a very important conversation about parenting, healthy discipline, protecting children from bullying and abuse, filial piety, and the impact of divorce on children. An important episode for anyone thinking about marriage, currently in a relationship, married, or raising children and for anyone who wants to understand themselves and their relationships on a deeper level رابط موقعنا, انضم إلى مجتمعنا: https://www.elpodcasters.com/ our website link, join our community: https://www.elpodcasters.com/ ‎اسمعوا البودكاسترز على | Listen to El-Podcasters on Spotify - https://anchor.fm/elpodcasters Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/eg/podcast/el-podcasters/id1633419184 Anghami - https://play.anghami.com/podcast/1029463712 El-Podcasters Social Media | منصات التواصل الإجتماعي للبودكاسترز: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/elpodcasters Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@elpodcasters Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/elpodcasters Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/company/elpodcasters/ X - https://www.twitter.com/elpodcasters Snapchat - https://snapchat.com/t/3Zbo2vzS Bassel Alzaro - https://www.instagram.com/basselalzaro https://www.facebook.com/BasselAlzaroX https://snapchat.com/t/CoWlatfk Karim Rihan - https://www.instagram.com/karimrihann Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Why does life feel boring after you leave a toxic or narcissistic relationship? In this video, I break down why peace can feel unsettling, empty, or even wrong after years of living in chaos. If you've escaped a narcissist but find yourself craving drama, missing the highs and lows, or feeling like something is missing, this is for you.I explain the psychology behind why your nervous system got wired for chaos, how trauma bonding rewires what feels "normal," and why quiet moments can feel uncomfortable instead of peaceful. More importantly, I share practical steps to rewire your brain so silence starts to feel like freedom, not emptiness.This is part of the healing journey that nobody talks about, the stage where you're out, but you don't feel all the way free yet. Let's change that.All my links - https://link.me/mentalhealness

Jessie Reyez on Dating Life in Music, Toxic Relationships, “DUSTY” Meaning, Cheating Stories + More Tell Us A Secret Ask YeeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jessie Reyez on Dating Life in Music, Toxic Relationships, “DUSTY” Meaning, Cheating Stories + MoreSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Adam helps a client to objectively evaluate a relationship they thought was toxic to make new decisions as to what they wanted for their life and their future.

When comparing toxic relationships vs. healthy relationships, there are many differences. Boundaries are handled differently. Reciprocity is one-way in one and two-way in the other. One has mutual understanding; the other doesn't. Only one has mutual goodwill and cooperation.  Another difference is how ruptures and repairs are handled. All relationships have conflict and disagreements. All relationships have ups and downs, but not all know how to fix those issues and heal the wounds. Knowing how to recognize the differences can help you identify dysfunctional, toxic relationships, adjust your expectations, and plan your response. All of these strategies will help you make decisions to protect yourself now and in the future. Toxic and healthy relationships have ruptures, but only healthy ones have repairs. Watch this video to get insight into how to identify toxic people and healthy people in the way they handle this difference.    Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.  #toxicrelationships  #toxicpeople #christianrelationshipadvice #dysfunctionalrelationship #conflict #healthyrelationship    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/whZtxafdOdY  

This episode breaks down what manipulation is and why it's so common in relationships with people struggling with mental health. It also gives actionable strategies for resisting the effects of manipulation.Have you ever been in a relationship where you found it hard to think for yourself? You somehow make decisions that are out of character and doubt yourself so much, you're not sure what's real? In this episode, Dr. Kibby exposes the truth behind these tactics: what manipulation really is, how it shows up, and most importantly, how to regain control. Deep dive ahead: you'll discover why manipulation isn't always "evil," but an abuse of normal strategies for communication and social influence. We're being manipulated all the time by ads, entertainment, sales, and even our health providers. But it becomes harmful when it robs you of your autonomy and sacrifices your wellbeing for the manipulator's gain. Dr. Kibby unpacks concrete tactics, like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, love withdrawal, surveillance, and coercive control, that abusers use to undermine your decision-making. She explores how these tactics often leverage your vulnerabilities and blur your sense of choice and agency, whether in romantic, family, or workplace dynamics.Feeling manipulated is common in relationships with people with mental illnesses like borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or trauma. Actually BOTH the individual with disorders and their loved ones often feel manipulated. Dr. Kibby also breaks down the research behind manipulation in BPD and narcissistic abuse.Why does this matter? Because understanding these subtle tactics can protect your mental well-being, help you spot emotional tricks early, and empower you to set healthier boundaries. This episode offers practical strategies and tools to disarm manipulation's grip and reclaim your personal agency. Whether you're navigating toxic family ties, romantic relationships, or workplace conflicts, this episode reveals the unseen manipulative tactics at play and how to dismantle them. Resources:If you need more hands-on help with feeling manipulated by people with mental health or addiction challenges, check out ⁠KulaMind

Are your daily habits negatively impacting your hormones and your overall health? And when it comes to hormones, are you focusing on only your sex hormones? It turns out other hormones are running the show! This episode breaks down common hormone dealbreakers and practical steps you can take to avoid them and reclaim your health.On this episode of Salad with a Side of Fries, host Jenn Trepeck is joined by Robin Nielsen, board-certified integrative nutritionist and founder of Natural Hormone Solution, to unpack the hidden hormone dealbreakers quietly sabotaging your health. From the real role of cortisol rhythm to the truth about cholesterol and sex hormones, xenoestrogens in your face cream, and why your to-do list is wrecking your endocrine system, this conversation is a masterclass in natural hormone balance for women at every stage of life.What You Will Learn in This Episode:✅ Why cortisol and insulin are your two most important hormones and how their dysregulation drives symptoms that are often misread as perimenopause or aging.✅ How environmental xenoestrogens found in face creams, shampoos, and household cleaners silently disrupt your estrogen balance and what to do about it.✅ The critical connection between eating for hormone balance, meal timing, and why skipping breakfast and over-exercising are two of the most damaging habits for women's hormonal health.✅ How cholesterol actually serves as the building block for all your steroid hormones, and why lowering it too aggressively may be making your symptoms worse.The Salad With a Side of Fries podcast, hosted by Jenn Trepeck, explores real-life wellness and weight-loss topics, debunking myths, misinformation, and flawed science surrounding nutrition and the food industry. Let's dive into wellness and weight loss for real life, including drinking, eating out, and skipping the grocery store.TIMESTAMPS:00:00 Jenn introduces Robin Nielsen, founder of Natural Hormone Solution and integrative nutritionist04:57 Robin shares her personal story: decades of weight gain, cystic acne, and digestive health issues09:18 Why common symptoms are not normal: hormone imbalance signs you may be ignoring11:27 Your sex hormones aren't the only ones linked to your overall health and wellness15:41 Cortisol rhythm explained: how your brain responds to daily stress and excess cortisol21:14 Hormone dealbreaker one: how negative thoughts and low serotonin levels disrupt cortisol23:24 Hormone dealbreaker two: xenoestrogens, environmental toxins, and harmful body care products27:47 The importance of eating breakfast and the benefits of walking33:19 Discussion of cholesterol levels and balancing HDL and LDL numbers38:12 The surprising hormone dealbreaker hiding in plain sight: your to-do list and nervous system healthKEY TAKEAWAYS:

In this episode of Faith Over Fear, Jennifer Slattery welcomes Christian counselor and author Dr. Kris Reece for a candid conversation about toxic relationships, manipulation, people-pleasing, and the confusion many believers experience when love becomes emotionally draining. Kris shares insights from her personal story and explains why unhealthy relationship patterns can be difficult to recognize, especially for those who have spent years trying to earn approval, keep the peace, or carry responsibility for others. Together, Jennifer and Kris explore what Scripture teaches about guarding our hearts, setting healthy boundaries, and identifying fear-driven motivations. Listeners will learn how to discern the difference between Christ-led love and unhealthy self-sacrifice, find freedom from people-pleasing, and pursue relationships marked by wisdom, peace, and truth. Resource Discussed: Breaking the Narcissist's Grip: A Christian’s Guide to Cutting the Strings of Manipulation, Setting Boundaries That Stick, and Reclaiming Your Life From Takers by Kris Reece (Author) Scriptures Discussed Psalm 34:18 Proverbs 4:23 2 Timothy 3:1–5 2 Corinthians 10:5 1 John 4:18 2 Corinthians 9:7 Matthew 5:37 Galatians 1:10 Psalm 139:23–24 Connect with Dr. Kris Reece: On her website On Instagram On Facebook On YouTube Follow her work on Amazon Find Jennifer Slattery: On her website Instagram Facebook Amazon Subscribe to her free newsletter Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

"  I have experienced the adversary very heavily, and if the adversary exists, then God exists, and I will never allow myself to go back to that side. I am devoted. "00:00 Not Safe03:58 Depression and Losing Interest06:21 Toxic Relationships and Single Mom Life10:59 Divorce, New Meds, and Dark Presence19:06 Peace from Priesthood24:42 Praise To The Man Sign40:31 DevotedServe Clothing code COMEBACK for 15% offhttps://serveclothing.com/If you have a story to share please submit here: https://comebackpodcast.org/submissions/For inquiries contact info.comebackpodcast@gmail.comCome Back Team:Director, Founder, & Host: Ashly StoneEditor: Cara ReedOutreach Manager: Jenna CarlsonAssistant Editor: Britt SmallzeArt Director: Jeremy GarciaProduction Director: Trent Wardwell

After a relationship marked by addiction, abuse, and toxic cycles, Jake and Sierra share how everything changed when they surrendered their lives to Jesus. This episode is a powerful reminder that no relationship is too far gone, and that healing, freedom, and a new foundation are possible. Learn more about Jake and Sierra's ministry: https://www.jakeandsierra.com Learn more about Marriage Intensives: https://xomarriage.com Are you or someone you know suffering from abuse? Please visit: https://www.thehotline.org From Gutters to Glory by Jake & Sierra Bradway 21 Day Inner Healing Journey by Jimmy Evans __________ Submit your questions to Dave & Ashley: http://nakedmarriagepodcast.com Download our FREE 31 Day Marriage Devotional: https://bit.ly/3ZxsLZd We want your marriage to thrive! Learn more at http://xomarriage.com Dave and Ashley Willis spent thirteen years in full-time church ministry before devoting their work entirely toward the global mission of building stronger, Christ-centered marriages. Their marriage-related books, blogs, podcast, speaking events and media resources have reached millions of couples around the world making Dave and Ashley one of the most recognized and trusted couples in marriage ministry. Dave and Ashley partnered with XO Marriage in 2018. XO Marriage is the nation's largest marriage-focused ministry. The Willis family includes four sons and a rescue dog named "Chi Chi." When Dave and Ashley aren't writing and speaking, they love hanging out with their family, watching movies and going on long walks which is also where they develop many of their marriage ministry content ideas. Learn more about Dave & Ashley at daveandashley.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lo sits down with psychologist, producer, and Harvey Weinstein accuser Kaja Sokola to discuss surviving sexual assault at just 16 years old, the emotional aftermath of trauma, toxic family dynamics, betrayal, resilience, and the complicated reality of loving people who have deeply hurt you. But while this conversation begins in a very raw and heavy place, it also evolves into something unexpectedly warm, funny, insightful, and deeply human.Together, Lo and Kaja talk about healing, identity, relationships, personal growth, and finding lightness even after unimaginable darkness. It's a conversation about survival — but also about hope, humor, self-awareness, and reclaiming your voice.Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, abuse, trauma, and family conflictDue to ongoing legal matters involving Kaja Sokola and members of her family, a significant portion of this episode had to be removed or edited in order to protect all parties involved and avoid interfering with active litigation. Even with those edits, this is still one of the most vulnerable, honest, emotional, and ultimately uplifting conversations shared on The Lo Life.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.