Your Amazing Divorce

The phrase "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results" is widely used as a cautionary statement about ineffective habits. In this episode Doreen and Jeff explore how the phrase is often used metaphorically to highlight irrational persistence without meaningful change. Want to explore how this idea applies to decision-making and behavior? This episode is for you.

Considering divorce or coping with a spouse's decision to end your marriage? This episode explores the complex emotional landscape and practical realities of divorce, unpacking both its potential benefits and challenges. We delve into how divorce can bring freedom, personal growth, and relief from unhealthy relationships, while also addressing common struggles like financial difficulties, emotional stress, and the impact on children.We discuss the pros of divorce such as gaining independence, escaping toxic relationships, and creating a healthier environment for children, alongside personal growth opportunities. At the same time, we examine the cons including loneliness, financial strain, emotional turmoil, social stigma, and the complexities of the legal process. Understanding these factors can help you prepare for the transition ahead.Whether you're contemplating divorce or have already begun the process, this episode offers thoughtful insights and compassionate guidance. Remember, seeking professional support—through therapists, divorce coaches, or mediators—can make a significant difference in managing the challenges and rebuilding a fulfilling life after divorce.

In this heartfelt episode, we dive into those overwhelming days when getting out of bed feels impossible—especially during the emotional storm of divorce. Hosts Doreen and Jeff explore the delicate balance between honoring your feelings and taking small steps forward. They share practical strategies like gentle movement, self-compassion, and mindful separation of facts from fears to help navigate the emotional weight that divorce brings. Jeff offers insights from his personal experience, highlighting the importance of distinguishing between physical and mental struggles and responding with kindness rather than judgment. Together, they emphasize how reaching out for support and breaking down challenges into manageable actions can prevent the spiral of isolation and anxiety. With relatable tips like organizing your space, planning ahead, and adopting flexible self-care routines, they remind listeners that healing is a process—and it's okay to have “off” days. Tune in for a supportive conversation filled with empathy and actionable advice designed to help anyone facing difficult transitions. Whether you're in the thick of divorce or just battling a tough day, this episode encourages you to acknowledge your emotions, practice patience with yourself, and keep moving forward one small step at a time. You're not alone, and strength grows from the moments you show up for yourself.

In this episode 182, Jeff and Doreen discuss a powerful tool that has been invaluable in everyone's own life, exercise. It might seem like a simple solution to complex problems, but trust me, the benefits of regular physical activity during challenging times, including divorce, are profound and far-reaching. So, let's dive into why I call divorce and exercise "the perfect marriage".

In this episode Doreen and Jeff discuss the Fresh Start Effect. It's that Intrinsic power of starting over and fresh. There are moments that promote this like a birthday, the New year and even a divorce. This is why so many people experience this start fresh mind set throughout even other milestones and other times, like a new semester in school, a new sports season (elaborate on…) , a new job, the birth of a child, a wedding, or even a death. These are all times when something ends and something new begins. Well divorce can also, and research shows does have this same intrinsic power to ignite this power inside that comes with something ending and something new beginning. The Fresh Start Effect is very alive and available to you from your divorce.

Divorce is often perceived as a culmination of failure, marked by heartache and loss. Yet, beneath the surface of this challenging experience lies a powerful journey of vulnerability and courage. Embracing vulnerability allows individuals to confront their deepest fears, express their emotions, and acknowledge their struggles. This raw openness can lead to profound personal growth and healing. At the same time, courage plays a crucial role in navigating the tumultuous waters of divorce. In this episode Doreen and Jeff discuss how vulnerability and courage go hand and hand and are important parts of the divorce process. It takes immense strength to make the difficult decision to end a marriage, to face the uncertainties of single life, and to rebuild oneself anew. This exploration of vulnerability and courage illuminates the resilience inherent in the divorce process, revealing that it is not merely an ending but also an opportunity for renewal and self-discovery.

Divorce can significantly impact children's well-being, affecting their emotional, social, and academic development. It is a difficult period for all family members, necessitating understanding and support to navigate the transition effectively. The effects vary depending on the child's age, temperament, and the support system available. In this episode Jeff and Doreen explore the issues with parents and their children after divorce. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/  

In a divorce, the fate of the marital home can vary significantly depending on several factors, including state laws, the couple's financial circumstances, and the agreements made during the divorce process. In the episode Jeff and Doreen will talk about the ins and outs and the dos and don'ts of what happens to the family home during the divorce process.

In episode 177, Jeff and Doreen dive into the complexities of divorce proceedings, particularly highlighting the advantages of settling a divorce case prior to going to trial. They emphasize that while emotions can run high during this process, finding common ground and reaching an agreement can lead to a more favorable outcome for both parties. 

Jeff and Doreen discuss “Learning to let go of the things that don't matter”, being inspired by Mark Manson's incredible book, *The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***.    Divorce can leave you carrying a heavy load—expectations, regrets, and societal judgments—but today, we're going to explore how to choose where to invest your energy and focus on what truly brings value to your life. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/ 

In this episode Jeff and Doreen wishes you the best New Year ever and talk about new starts and the opportunities we have with a brand-new year ahead of us. The reality is, we can choose to have a new start whenever we want, not just at the beginning of the year. We have more control over our lives than we often realize. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/

Divorce can feel like an emotional battlefield, but the key to surviving and thriving through it is understanding that not every fight is worth your energy. During this episode, we will dive into why and how you can make smarter decisions on what to fight or not fight over during one of the most challenging transitions in your life. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/    

The holidays are here once again and if you're not feeling the warm and fuzzies we understand. The holidays can bring up some memories that can be both good and bad. TV commercials, social media or just people in general are telling you to be thankful, merry and joyful. Easier said than done! In episode 173 Jeff and Doreen discuss some tips to help you make it through the holidays. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/

Remember the fairy tales we read as children? Snow White? Cinderella? Beauty and the Beast? Each ended with one version or another of “…and they lived happily ever after.” In this episode, Jeff and Doreen discuss how the idea of "They lived happily ever after" is not possible because life is 50/50. Imperfect and full of trials and disappointments. This story book phrase is a romantic illusion that can lead to disappointment when people expect life to be perfect. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/  

Can a Marriage Survive Adultery? Yes, many marriages do survive infidelity. For thousands of couples, working through the pain and betrayal, learning to forgive, and establishing firm boundaries to prevent future issues have all helped them to rebuild their relationships. With commitment, a renewed focus on growth, and the actions that make love deepen, some marriages even become stronger than they were before. It's essential to recognize that it's not the affair itself that strengthens the bond. Rather, it's the wake-up call and the hard work that follows, allowing the couple to rebuild a solid, healthier relationship. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/

During a divorce, you're surrounded by a sea of information—but not all sources are equally reliable. With just a few taps on your phone, you can access an entire library of legal documents, guides, and more. Alongside what's online, you'll likely receive advice from friends, family, and acquaintances, many of whom may have their own experiences to share (or at least think they do). In this whirlwind of input, it can be challenging to separate helpful guidance from misguided advice. Should you trust your close friend's perspective, or follow the advice of that well-meaning online blogger? When it comes to something as important as your divorce, knowing who to trust is essential. And, Boundaries is in Episode #8, #9 and #119. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/

One of the lessons that we have teach often is how to recognize the 50-50 good/bad of the world. And a big part of that is learning how to accept pain and to develop the capacity to feel. In the episode Doreen and Jeff discuss the benefits of excepting your feelings and working through the emotions you will experience in marriage, during divorce and after divorce. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/

Running away from emotions and the feelings you're experiencing before, during and after divorce is often a coping mechanism that can make your problems harder to deal with in the long run. In this episode Doreen and Jeff talk about getting unstuck during your marriage, divorce and afterwards. They discuss that getting unstuck doesn't mean that you will suddenly going to have clarity about what the rest of your journey will look like, however, baby steps will be the catalyst to get started. Often, getting unstuck means taking a few steps in the dark, and feeling our way through. And that's OK. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/  

In this episode Doreen and Jeff give you more clarity on when it's time to divorce. If you are in any stage of confusion, this episode is a must listen to. They discuss the warning signs that just might give you the ah ha you need to make the correct discussion in your best interest. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/  

In this episode Doreen and Jeff discuss different ways to speed up the divorce process. They will give up ways to speed up the process and will not only save you time, but it may also save you money, emotion, and stress. The less confrontational the divorce, generally, the less time it will take. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/  

We are talking about the big things, little things. We are talking about daily things, talking about hourly things, and lifelong things. Today in episode 165, we are talking about honoring your own wants. We think it's impossible to live the fullest expression of yourself if you don't honor your own wants. There are a lot of people either accepting, “I don't know” and not caring enough about what they want, or denying what they want for what someone else wants for them. Let's discuss your wants. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/

Regret is typically not a very useful emotion. It has us worrying and stressed. It's usually over something that's happened or been done. It's like a missed opportunity or a failed event is kind of how I think about it. And the feeling is this intense disappointment over having made the “wrong” decision. In this episode Doreen and Jeff discuss how regret will not serve your wants or your goals. Book your free call with Jeff at: https://lad-coaching.com/schedule-appointment/

In this exciting episode you'll find out how Doreen Yaffa, a high power Board Certified Family Attorney of almost 30 years and her husband, 4th degree Black Belt, Sensei Jeff Wilson both became Life Coaches and started their business Life After Divorce Coaching in Boca Raton, Florida. This episode will also appear for the first time on YouTube. So, hear or see them explain their motivation and love for helping others before, during and after divorce.

About half of all American children will experience their parents' divorce. While divorce is often stressful for families, a great deal of the stress gets thrusted onto the children trying to adjust to their new life. One important factor linked with child outcomes after divorce is the quality of the divorced couple's co-parenting relationship. In this episode Doreen and Jeff discuss some of the do's and don'ts of coparenting and how to your children's best interest first.

In this episode, Doreen and Jeff dive into the impact of relying on hope and luck, and how these attitudes can actually hinder your future results. They explore the common mindset of saying "someday if I'm lucky enough" or "I hope so," and explain why these thoughts can keep you stuck in place rather than moving forward. Learn how to shift your mindset from wishful thinking to setting powerful, intentional goals. Doreen and Jeff share strategies for making a commitment to your goals and taking massive, purposeful action to achieve them. Tune in to discover how you can transform your approach and start creating the future you truly desire.

In this episode, Jeff and Doreen explore the transformative effects of slowing down your mind. During the divorce process taking the time to calm our mind and body allows us to think more rationally and make better decisions. Deep breathing serves as a powerful tool to achieve this state of calmness, allowing us to think clearly and make choices that align with our wants. By combining a calm, rational mind with intentional deep breathing, you not only enhance your decision-making abilities but also unlock the potential to create and accomplish anything you truly want. Tune in to discover how calming your mind can lead to better decisions, greater creativity, and the ability to achieve your goals with clarity and confidence and create the life you want after divorce.

People are often taught to see the world in black and white, categorizing things as either good or bad. There are good guys and bad guys, and the goal is to eliminate the bad so that only the good remains. However, this binary thinking can lead to unrealistic expectations and an intolerance for anything less than perfection from yourself or others, ultimately making you miserable. In this episode, Jeff and Doreen discuss the pitfalls of perfectionism and how it can negatively impact your relationships and personal well-being. They explore the importance of embracing imperfection and adopting a more compassionate and realistic mindset. By accepting that everyone has flaws and that not everything can be categorized so simply, you can foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships and a more contented life.

In this episode, Jeff and Doreen explore how a cost-benefit analysis, commonly used in business, can be a powerful tool during a divorce. This method involves evaluating the worth of a relationship or action by subtracting the costs (such as time, money, and effort) from the benefits (such as friendship, companionship, and social support). This analysis can help you strategically approach the divorce process.   By conducting a thorough cost-benefit analysis, you can gain clarity on your priorities and make informed decisions that will guide you through the divorce process more effectively. Jeff and Doreen provide further insights on how to apply this analytical approach, helping you navigate the complexities of divorce with confidence and foresight.  

Fitness and exercise have many benefits to your life after divorce. Join us as Doreen and Jeff discuss the many ways you can benefit both mentally and physically from exercise.

Communication is the most important skill in marriage and in divorce. You spend years learning how to read, write, and speak. But what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none, right? During most divorces, spouses like most people, seek first to be understood to get their point across. In doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. In this episode Jeff and Doreen give you valuable tips and benefits on listening for comprehension which will definitely help you in marriage, during the divorce process and after divorce as well.

In this episode, Jeff and Doreen provide a comprehensive guide on what to ask during a legal consultation with a divorce attorney. Navigating a divorce can be overwhelming, but knowing the right questions to ask can help you feel more prepared and confident. They cover essential topics to discuss, ensuring you get the most out of your consultation and lay a solid foundation for your case. By asking these questions, you can gain a clearer understanding of the legal process, your attorney's capabilities, and the best path forward for your situation. Jeff and Doreen provide further insights and tips to ensure you make the most informed decisions during your legal consult.

In this episode, Jeff and Doreen dive into the legal aspects of divorce, discussing why it can be advantageous for a spouse to file for divorce first. Drawing on Doreen's nearly 30 years of experience as a Family Attorney and over 20 years of being Board Certified in Family Law, they share invaluable insights into the divorce process and the strategic benefits of being the first to file. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of how taking the initiative can influence your case and hear expert tips on navigating the complexities of divorce with confidence.

In this episode, Jeff and Doreen dive into the difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is an automatic, constant physical ability – it's passive reception of sound waves from the environment, requiring no conscious effort. On the other hand, listening is an active process – it's about paying attention, decoding, and understanding the messages being communicated. When going through a divorce listening is key when it comes down to negotiations, communication with your lawyers, mediators and yes, even your soon to be ex-spouse. Differentiate listening and hearing, and you'll become a better communicator, a more empathetic friend, and a more active participant in your own life. When you distinguish between hearing, you will discover a crucial skill for personal and professional growth after divorce.

Acknowledging your worth and believing in it is indeed crucial during such a challenging time better known as divorce. Self-awareness and self-assurance can help you rebuild your life and set a positive foundation for the future. It's like renovating a house; you need to clear out the old, damaged parts and build something stronger and more resilient in their place. In the episode Jeff and Doreen will give you tips on dismantling old beliefs and empowering you with a new version of yourself. This process can involve reflecting on past experiences, understanding what didn't work, and being open to new perspectives and possibilities, such as, finalizing your divorce sooner, confidence when in mediation and so on. Also, it's important to surround yourself with supportive people who can help you stay motivated and focused on your goals. Remember, transformation is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and a lot of self-compassion. But with determination and the right mindset, you can navigate through this period and emerge stronger and more confident.

Finding your new self after a divorce can be challenging but also exhilarating. After years of being part of a couple, figuring out who you are on your own might seem daunting, but it's also an opportunity to explore new possibilities and invigorate your life. The upside of divorce is that it provides a fantastic opportunity for growth and self-discovery. In this episode, Jeff and Doreen discuss ways to redefine your identity post-divorce, helping you move forward with confidence and build a life that truly reflects who you are. Join them as they share insights and strategies to embrace this new chapter and create a fulfilling and authentic future.

Summer is here and the heat is on! Who gets the kids and for how long? While most summer schedules are determined during the divorce process, it's essential to maintain flexibility, compassion, and understanding towards your ex. Prioritizing the kids' needs and ensuring they have a relaxing and enjoyable summer vacation is key. In this episode, Jeff and Doreen discuss strategies for balancing summer custody arrangements and creating a positive experience for everyone involved.

Whether you are co-parenting or striving for a more civil relationship, effective communication with a clear purpose is crucial. In this episode, Jeff and Doreen explore strategies designed to help you navigate conversations with anyone, especially your ex. They share insights and practical tips to enhance your communication skills, fostering better understanding and cooperation. Join them to learn how purposeful communication can transform your interactions and lead to more harmonious relationships.

Divorce mediation is a viable option for couples considering divorce in Florida. This voluntary process allows couples to make decisions about various aspects of their divorce with the assistance of a mediator. In this episode Jeff and Doreen discuss the process itself and add in a few tips to make the process go smoother and allow for the process to be a success.

Guilt manifests in various forms during a divorce, often intertwined with feelings of regret and shame. It's common for at least one party to experience guilt to some degree. If left unaddressed, guilt can disrupt the divorce process, particularly during settlement negotiations, in two primary ways. First, guilt can lead to one party making overly generous concessions, driven by a sense of remorse or a desire to compensate for perceived wrongs. Second, guilt can also cause a party to become overly defensive or obstructive, attempting to justify their actions or resist compromise out of a need to mitigate their own feelings of culpability. In this episode Jeff and Doreen discuss how recognizing and addressing guilt, individuals can navigate the divorce process more effectively, ensuring more equitable and amicable outcomes.

In this episode, Doreen and Jeff delve into the delicate topic of introducing a new romantic partner to one's children. They explore the timing and approach that are essential for ensuring a smooth and positive transition for both the parent and the children. By discussing the right time and the appropriate manner in which to introduce a new partner, Doreen and Jeff aim to provide listeners with valuable insights and guidance on navigating this significant milestone in blended families. Through thoughtful consideration and open communication, they offer strategies for fostering understanding and acceptance among all parties involved, ultimately fostering healthy and harmonious relationships within the family unit.

Unchecked anger can exacerbate the challenges of divorce, fueling extensive and bitter litigation that inflicts unnecessary financial strain on families. Prolonged legal battles, lasting for months or even years, and can tear families apart and pose significant harm to children. In this episode, Jeff and Doreen offer guidance on effectively managing anger before, during, and after divorce. By addressing this powerful emotion head-on, they aim to mitigate the destructive impact it can have on individuals and families, fostering a more constructive and amicable resolution to the challenges of divorce.

Often, we're drawn to the allure of the "after" picture without fully embracing the journey it takes to get there. We yearn for the end result without wanting to endure the river of misery that flows in between. It's human nature to desire instant gratification and to shy away from the process, preferring immediate results over the daily steps required to reach our goals. However, it's crucial to recognize that the true impact of a goal lies not in its achievement, but in the act of setting it. The moment we set a goal, we ignite a spark within ourselves—an aspiration that propels us forward and shapes our journey. It's in the pursuit of our goals, the daily grind, and the challenges we overcome that we truly grow and evolve as individuals. So, let's embrace the process, the ups and downs, the victories and setbacks, knowing that each step we take brings us closer to our aspirations. And let's remember that the journey itself is where the magic happens—the transformation, the growth, and the fulfillment of our potential.

In today's episode, Jeff and Doreen delve into the concept of finding oneself, emphasizing that this journey is merely the starting point. Beyond discovering your true self, it's essential to identify your desires and goals, and then take proactive steps to manifest the life you envision. Taking action is the crucial key to transforming your aspirations into reality.

Rather than succumbing to feelings of embarrassment, guilt, or being immobilized by procrastination, consider the potential for something extraordinary. In this episode, Jeff and Doreen dive into Procrastination and how it can serve as a catalyst for unleashing your creativity and productivity. By understanding your procrastination patterns, you can transform your thoughts ( The Model-Episode #120 ) into tools for identifying your top three priorities, paving the way for significant achievements each day.

In this episode, Doreen and Jeff delve into a crucial aspect of navigating divorce: understanding your assets. Whether you're considering divorce or already in the midst of it, having a clear grasp of your financial landscape is essential. Join them as they discuss why knowledge truly is power in this situation.

In this episode, Jeff and Doreen explore the theme of reclaiming your power. Discover strategies to embrace personal responsibility and move away from blame as part of the healing journey following a divorce.

While going through divorce there are many circumstances that we cannot control. The one thing we always have control over, however, is ourselves. And taking responsibility for ourselves is incredibly empowering and a huge part of the healing process. It isn't about blaming yourself for the divorce. It's about seeing every situation in your life as if you own it and taking responsibility for your part of it. When you learn to do this, you give yourself so much more power than staying in a victim mentality. This week, Jeff and Doreen discuss how taking responsibility can be for your life after divorce and how to do it without beating yourself up.

In this episode, "It's Dad Time," podcast host and a pioneer chiropractor Dr Rocco along with Jeff delve into the journey of fathers and their children navigating through divorce. They explore strategies for crafting a fulfilling life post-divorce as a single parent, shedding light on effective ways for dads to excel as co-parents.  

What would the You, that has already achieved, that has already become, that is already where you want to be, how would you act today and what decisions would you make differently if you made decisions as if you were already there? In this episode Doreen and Jeff discuss how living your present life future minded can be essential to creating an amazing life.  

You truly have the capacity and capability to create the life you want and deserve after Divorce. In this episode Jeff and Doreen will discuss how the pieces explained in the last five episodes all work together in this recording of February's webinar.

In the fifth installment of our series, Jeff and Doreen dive into the concluding segment titled "Results." They explore the current state of your life and the journey that brought you here, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness in determining what your life will look like in your life after divorce. This invaluable resource underscores the idea that the fulfilling and desirable life you seek is closer than you may realize, offering insights into how to attain it.