Your Secret Is Safe With Me

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In this podcast, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our taken-for-granted assumptions about how relationships are supposed to be. To learn more, go to mariemurphyphd.com.

Dr. Marie Murphy


    • Apr 10, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 35m AVG DURATION
    • 213 EPISODES

    Ivy Insights

    The Your Secret Is Safe With Me podcast is truly a gem in the world of relationship discussions. Hosted by Dr. Marie, this podcast delves into all kinds of relationship topics, including infidelity, polyamory, and tarot readings. What sets this podcast apart from others is Dr. Marie's incredible approach to these conversations, which avoids blame and shame and instead focuses on understanding and growth in relationships.

    One of the best aspects of The Your Secret Is Safe With Me podcast is its ability to have meaningful discussions about infidelity without resorting to simple blame or shame tactics. Dr. Marie approaches this topic with a level of understanding that is often lacking in mainstream discussions. Instead of pointing fingers or labeling one person as the villain, she seeks to understand the nuances and complexities that can lead to infidelity. This refreshing approach allows listeners to gain insight into their own relationships and offers a path forward for healing and growth.

    In addition to the insightful discussions around infidelity, the Your Secret Is Safe With Me podcast also covers other fascinating topics such as polyamory and tarot readings. These episodes provide a well-rounded view of different relationship dynamics and offer unique perspectives for listeners to consider. Dr. Marie's expertise shines through in these episodes as she skillfully navigates these complex subjects with grace and empathy.

    While there are many great aspects to this podcast, it would be remiss not to mention some potential drawbacks as well. One downside is that some episodes may not resonate with every listener, as they cover specific topics such as polyamory or tarot readings that may not be of interest to everyone. However, even if certain episodes don't personally appeal to you, the overall quality and value of the podcast remain high.

    In conclusion, The Your Secret Is Safe With Me podcast stands out because it tackles difficult relationship topics like infidelity without resorting to blame or shame tactics. Dr. Marie's amazing ability to approach these conversations with understanding and empathy is truly commendable. Whether discussing infidelity, polyamory, or tarot readings, this podcast offers valuable insights and guidance for listeners looking to improve their relationships. Dr. Marie's unique perspective is a breath of fresh air in a genre often filled with judgment, making her podcast a must-listen for anyone seeking thoughtful discussions and personal growth.



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    Latest episodes from Your Secret Is Safe With Me

    213: Beginnings and Endings

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 10, 2025 23:07


    Is it really okay to end something that's working well?   After much consideration, I've decided to pause production of Your Secret is Safe With Me indefinitely while I pursue new creative endeavors.   This decision wasn't made because anything is wrong—quite the opposite.   My experience with this transition mirrors what many of my clients face in their relationships and life choices. There's often a belief that we shouldn't end something that's "good enough" or that we must finish everything we've started. But what if the most faithful act to ourselves is allowing evolution, even when it means leaving something valuable behind?   This final episode explores the legitimacy of change and the permission we all deserve to give ourselves when moving in new directions.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/213

    212: Choosing Between Two Good Things

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2025 46:18


    Have you ever felt stuck between two good choices?   Through my personal story of leaving a life I loved to join the Peace Corps, I illustrate how choosing between two good things - while challenging - can lead to profound growth and fulfillment.   If you're struggling with a decision that feels impossible because both options have value, this episode is for you.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/212

    211. Dealing With Your Personal Problems When the World Is on Fire

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2025 33:19


    Feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world? Wondering how to focus on your own personal struggles—like dealing with infidelity—when global crises seem so much bigger?    In this episode, I explore how to stay engaged with the world's problems without being consumed by them. You'll learn why tending to your own challenges is not selfish but essential, and how taking responsibility for what you can control helps you build resilience and show up for yourself and others.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/211

    210. Sex Work and Infidelity Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2025 33:12


    Does your partner's sexual past make you uncomfortable? What if you found out they had exchanged sex for money before you met - would that feel like cheating?   These are the kinds of thorny questions I tackle head-on in this week's episode. I'll help you examine your beliefs about sex work, infidelity, and how much of our pasts we need to share with new partners.   Whether you've been on either side of this situation or are just curious to expand your perspective, you'll gain valuable insights for approaching these sensitive conversations with more clarity and intentionality.    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/210

    209. Astrology and Infidelity with Karen Hawkwood (Part 2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2025 73:49


    Have you ever felt like you have competing desires when it comes to relationships? Like part of you craves freedom and adventure while another part yearns for deep intimacy and stability?   Astrologer Karen Hawkwood joins me this week to discuss how astrology can provide a framework for understanding these complex and often paradoxical needs. We also discuss how legitimizing all parts of ourselves, even the ones that seem to be in conflict, is key to finding more peace in our love lives.   If you've struggled to make sense of your infidelity situation, this episode will offer a new perspective on honoring the fullness of who you are.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/209

    208. Sex Work and Infidelity Part 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2025 34:01


    Is paying for sex cheating?    In this week's episode, I dive into the complex intersection of sex work and infidelity. I explore how to be a conscious consumer of sexual services, the social stigma around sex work, and the diversity of experiences within the industry. I also address listener questions about the risks and benefits of seeing sex workers versus having an affair.    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/208

    207. Astrology and Infidelity with Karen Hawkwood

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 16, 2025 72:04


    Have you ever wondered if your astrological chart holds clues to your relationship patterns and tendencies?    In this episode, I sit down with teacher and practitioner of archetypal astrology, Karen Hawkwood, to explore how astrology can provide valuable insights into the parts of ourselves that shape our experiences with infidelity.   Whether you're well-versed in astrology or simply curious about how it might relate to your own infidelity situation, this episode offers a thought-provoking perspective on the ways in which we can work with our inherent tendencies and needs to create more fulfilling relationships.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/207

    206. Where Do You Want to Be a Year from Now?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2025 14:54


    What would your life look like a year from now if you resolved your infidelity situation in a way that felt really amazing to you?   Do you struggle to imagine what resolving your infidelity situation could look like? Listen in this week as I dive into the power of envisioning your ideal future and guide you through a series of prompts that will help you imagine the most delightful, satisfying resolution to your infidelity situation.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/206

    205. What Can You Give Yourself More Credit For?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2024 17:19


    What if I told you that the key to making positive changes in your life is self-love and acceptance, not self-loathing?   It may sound counterintuitive, but giving yourself credit for what you HAVE done can be incredibly motivating, especially if you've been beating yourself up over infidelity. In this episode, I guide you through an exercise to reflect on your accomplishments, big and small, over the past year. You'll be amazed at how empowering it feels!   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/205

    204. The Challenges of Infidelity During the Holidays

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2024 36:01


    Do the holidays have you feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place in your infidelity situation? You're not alone.    Trying to balance family obligations with an affair partner's desires can seem impossible. But even when you don't like your options, you still have choices. In this episode, I explore real-world scenarios and discuss how to identify your options, make decisions you feel good about, and take responsibility for your own happiness - no matter what your affair partner or spouse does.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/204

    203. Your Money or Your Freedom

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2024 38:41


    What's more important to you - your money or your freedom?   If you're stuck in a marriage you don't want to be in but are reluctant to leave because you don't want to lose half your wealth, you're not alone. Many of my clients grapple with this dilemma.   In this episode, I dig into what money really means to you and how to weigh that against the freedom to live life on your own terms. I share strategies to get clear on your values and make empowered choices so you can start untangling your thoughts around money, marriage, and living authentically.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/203

    202. Breaking Up with Your Affair Partner

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2024 45:10


    Are you struggling with the idea of breaking up with your affair partner? How do you tell them it's over in a way that doesn't sound like an ultimatum? Is it possible to stay friends afterwards? And what if you work together - how do you navigate that?   This is a uniquely challenging situation that brings up a lot of difficult questions, but I've got you covered. In this episode, I provide compassionate, nonjudgmental guidance on how to end an affair relationship as considerately as possible. While it may never be easy, there are ways to make the process clearer for both you and your affair partner.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/202

    201. High-Conflict Breakups

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2024 32:33


    High-conflict breakups are always going to be tricky. And when infidelity is involved, feelings can get amplified, leading to some pretty interesting behavior. Some people have a particularly hard time when a relationship comes to an end, feeling sad, hurt, rejected, unloved, abandoned... even worthless.   So, how do you go about extricating yourself from a relationship with someone who is (to put it in the most simplistic terms) behaving very badly? Tune in this week for a conversation about dealing with high-conflict breakups where you'll learn how to support yourself as this unpleasant situation unfolds.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/201

    200. Nostalgia

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2024 42:21


    Does your marriage or your committed relationship CURRENTLY feel like home to you? Or are you running off of memories of what your relationship once felt like to you? If you are dissatisfied with your committed relationship to the point where you're seriously considering leaving, but you think you can't leave because your sense of home is predicated upon you staying, I invite you to listen in this week.   Through my own nostalgia for past experiences of feeling at home, I share how to identify your nostalgia and discover where it's coming from. You'll learn how to navigate bewildering thoughts of wanting to leave your marriage, but not wanting to lose the sense of home you have within your marriage.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/200

    199. You Are Worthy of Acceptance

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2024 34:23


    No matter what you've done or are doing in regards to your infidelity situation, you are worthy of acceptance, love, and respect. As you'll hear in this episode, I explore the idea that there ARE people out there who will understand and accept you, even if they know all the details of your infidelity. While it may seem like everyone would judge and shun you, that simply isn't true. I also answer a question from a listener about their specific infidelity situation, which will offer valuable perspective to anybody engaging in something they consider infidelity, or dealing with the aftermath of an affair ending.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/199

    198. What Do You Owe Your Ex-Affair Partner's Spouse?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2024 30:39


    What do you do if your ex-affair partner's spouse wants to talk to you about the affair? Do you owe them an apology or explanation? Is there actually anything you can say to make this person feel any better?   In this episode, I explore the tricky question of what, if anything, you might want to offer the partner of someone you had an affair with. I discuss how to set boundaries that align with your values, share strategies for engaging in difficult conversations, and you'll learn how to decide exactly what will work best for you if you find yourself in this scenario.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/198

    197. Affairs with Old Lovers

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 29, 2024 38:11


    Have you ever reconnected with a former flame and found yourself in an affair, wondering if this is your second chance at true love? When people are engaging in affairs with someone they've been involved with in the past, they tend to see these relationships as an incredibly high-stakes situation.   Tune in this week to look at some of the major challenges of engaging in affairs with old lovers, how you might be inadvertently creating unnecessary drama through the way you think about this relationship, and what you can do about it. Even if you aren't having an affair with a long-lost former lover, you'll be able to see this human tendency to overcomplicate relationships of all kinds laid bare, so you can stop self-inflicted torture in your romantic life.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/197

    196. What Are You Tolerating?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2024 41:36


    Are you tolerating aspects of your life and relationship situations that you shouldn't? This week, I dive into what happens when we tolerate things we don't like, and why we so often think we have to put up with them when we don't. Find out why so many people don't want to acknowledge that they are tolerating things they dislike in their affair relationships, the problem with disliking something and not being willing to face it, and what you can do if you are in this scenario.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/196

    195. Affair Relationships Can Last a Lifetime

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2024 56:32


    Something I hear regularly is the belief that relationships that begin as affairs cannot transition into non-affair relationships. A lot of folks I work with are CONVINCED that if they start an affair relationship, it will never be able to get onto “normal” footing, and it is simply doomed to fail. But does this have to be true? Is this what you want to be true for your relationship?   In this week's episode, I help you disentangle a few things about your affair relationship, address the misconception that relationships that start as affairs and transition into non-affair relationships either don't or can't last very long, and show you why affair relationships can, in fact, last a lifetime.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/195

    194. Dealing With Doubt

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2024 48:26


    Are you facing doubt in your infidelity situation? Do you want to make a decision but feel uncertain about what the right decision is? Maybe you are unsure whether to end things with your marriage and pursue a relationship with your affair partner. Maybe you don't know whether your marriage is worth fighting for. Maybe you worry about the impact that exposing your affair or leaving your committed relationship will have on the people you love.   This week, I show you how to deal with doubt in your infidelity situation and why you need to be willing to look at the thoughts you currently hold about the options available to you. Find out where doubt comes from, why you experience it in the first place, and how to stop overcomplicating the decision-making process and start making decisions that feel good to you.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/194

    193. What Do You Owe a Relationship Before You Can Decide to Leave It?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2024 44:34


    If you are married or in a long-term relationship and also involved with someone else, there may be one big question on your mind when you think about ending your committed relationship: what exactly do you owe yourself, your partner, or your relationship before you can decide to leave it?   This week, discover why you feel so much pressure to try everything before leaving your committed relationship and what to do to avoid staying stuck in limbo when you feel this way. I share some actions you can take if you are holding back from leaving your committed relationship simply because you feel like you owe it something, and why deciding you no longer want to be in a relationship is legitimate and doesn't always mean you have to change something.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/193  

    192. When Will I Stop Fantasizing About My Ex-Affair Partner?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2024 39:58


    Do you ever find yourself fantasizing about your ex-affair partner? Do you torture yourself reminiscing on the wonderful times you shared, and the amazing memories you hold with them, even though the infidelity situation has since come to an end?   Discover the reasons you might still be fantasizing about your ex-affair partner, and how to start to ease your way out of this if you really do want to relegate your memories to the compost bin of history. I share some tips to help you take action that is right for you the next time you notice yourself thinking about your ex-affair partner and the three choices you always have available to you when it comes to fantasizing about your ex-affair partner.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/192

    191. Are You Just Having a Midlife Crisis?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2024 44:01


    There is a common belief that marriage should last a lifetime. So when somebody decides that they are dissatisfied with life as they know it, and engage in an infidelity situation as a result, it is commonly labeled as a midlife crisis. But what if waking up one morning and deciding you are dissatisfied with your life is a wonderful opportunity to reexamine what you want and what you want to do about it?    This week, I show you why engaging in infidelity isn't always a symptom of a midlife crisis, and how to establish what is really going on in your life if you are doing this. Find out what so many people believe to be the solution to a midlife crisis, what I believe to be the real solution, and why it does not involve convincing yourself to stick with the status quo and be happy with what you have.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/191

    190. The Magic Button

    Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2024 49:21


    The Magic Button that I'm diving deeper into this week is the one you wish you could push to answer all your questions about your infidelity situation. The one that, when you push it, your infidelity situation magically resolves in a way that you are delighted with, without you having to do much of anything. That magic button would solve all your problems, right?    I teach you how to contend with things that are challenging in your life and infidelity situation in a way that is most empowering for you. I show you the problem with looking for external examples and answers regarding what to do about your infidelity situation, and how to, instead, use your precious time and energy learning how to come up with your own answers.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/190

    189. Scandal, Disgrace, and Redemption

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2024 56:03


    People often freak out when infidelity occurs, even if it has pretty much zero impact on their lives. It gets treated as a big scandal that the "perpetrator" needs to redeem themselves from. Whether or not you buy into the idea that scandal, disgrace, and redemption are real things, other people turning your experiences into a public spectacle is a very real thing, and it's a pretty big deal.   Tune in this week to discover what you need to consider if you find yourself the object of a scandalous spectacle following an affair. I share two parallel practices for dealing with being the object of a scandal, and you'll learn how to take responsibility and begin the work of redeeming yourself in your own eyes, if that's what you choose to do in this situation.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/189

    188. When Your Affair Partner Leaves You for the Wrong Reasons

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2024 41:52


    Have you ever found yourself in an affair situation with someone who is monogamously committed to someone else? For a while, your partner is pretty sure they want to leave that relationship and pursue a non-affair relationship with you. They share their intentions to leave their partner for weeks, months, or even years, and they may even take action to prove these intentions.    Then, one day, your affair partner reaches the point where they decide that they can't leave their committed relationship after all. They decide to stay in that relationship, despite everything they have said and done in their affair relationship with you. So what happened? And what the hell do you do now?! Tune in this week to find out.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/188

    187. It's Okay to Change Your Mind

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2024 45:00


    How often do you make a decision that you think you're happy with, then doubt yourself and fear it was the wrong one because you feel so many mixed emotions about it? When you make a major decision in your life, about your infidelity situation or otherwise, you are most likely going to have mixed thoughts and feelings about it, but that DOESN'T mean it's a problem or a sign you should choose differently.    In this week's episode of Your Secret Is Safe With Me, learn why it is completely okay to change your mind on any decision you make and the importance of making decisions with a managed mind. Find out why making a decision with a managed mind doesn't mean you can't change your mind further down the line and how I used exactly what I'm teaching you this week in my own life to put an end to a program I was offering so soon after putting it out into the world.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/187

    186. Why I Do the Work I Do (Part 2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2024 52:28


    Join me for part two of "Why I Do the Work I Do" as I share the turning point that led me to become a relationship coach specializing in non-judgmental assistance to people engaging in infidelity, and exactly what it took for me to get here. I'm picking up where I left off last week and sharing the power of taking small steps forward, even when your confidence is wavering, and how I created this unique role for myself despite believing for a while that I didn't have what it takes to be an entrepreneur.   You CAN create a version of yourself and your life that doesn't exist yet, and I'm showing you how in this episode.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/186

    185: Why I Do the Work I Do (Part 1)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2024 62:14


    As you may be aware, “non-judgmental infidelity coach” is not a common job description that exists out there in the world, at least not to my knowledge. This thing I do and the angle I take is pretty unique, and I am dedicated to offering non-judgmental guidance to people actively engaging in any form of infidelity. But how did I get here? What exactly led me to do the work I do?   In this week's episode, I share where my interest in all things sexuality and the stigma surrounding it came from, and how exactly I came to do the work I do today. I dive into what enables me to conceptualize infidelity and help people in the ways that I do, and how my background and interests from a very young age inform my capacity to help people deal with their infidelity situations in a non-judgmental way.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/185

    184. The Point of Resolving Your Infidelity Situation (Part 2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2024 25:22


    At some point, the drawbacks of your infidelity situation can start to outweigh the benefits, and if this happens for you, you may want to start thinking about taking a conscious, deliberate approach to resolving your infidelity situation in a way you feel good about. Yes it might feel hard at first – so hard that you may decide that you'd rather stay put and continue to accept the status quo – but here's the thing: staying stuck and stressed is NOT your only option. It is NOT as hard to resolve your infidelity situation as you may currently believe; you just need to change the way you approach it. And I'm here to help.   This week, I show you why resolving your infidelity situation doesn't have to be as difficult as you think it will be and how to resolve it in a way you feel great about.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/184    

    183. When Your Affair is Over, You May be Bored

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2024 40:50


    If you experience boredom after you've stopped engaging in infidelity, you may not know what to do with yourself, and you are NOT alone. Post-infidelity boredom is a thing, but fortunately for you, I have some recommendations to help you deal with it. In this episode, I share why you might find yourself feeling bored once you end your infidelity situation, some examples of what this can look like and indications that you are feeling this way, and how to examine your overall satisfaction with life as a whole before making drastic changes in your relationships.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/183

    182. Why Considering Non-Monogamy Might Not be Helpful

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 29, 2024 31:40


    In this week's episode, I talk about why exploring non-monogamy COULD be a way to resolve your infidelity situation… and when why exploring non-monogamy may NOT going to be an effective way to resolve your infidelity situation. As non-monogamy becomes a more and more legitimate way to configure our relationships, it's increasingly important to use discretion when we're wondering if turning a monogamous relationship into a non-monogamous one will help us resolve our infidelity situation.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/182

    181. How to Tell Someone You've Cheated on Them

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 42:06


    Before initiating the conversation with your partner about your affair, there are some things you need to be clear on. In today's episode, I discuss how to tell your partner about your affair and provide tips on how to approach this conversation in two different kinds of circumstances.   When you find yourself in the situation of telling your partner about your affair, there are many things you can choose to say, ways you can react, and ways you can disclose your infidelity. Learn how to have this conversation, ensure that you want to have it, and approach it in a way that feels right for you.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/181

    180. When Your Affair Partner Has an Agenda for You

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2024 31:45


    Is your affair partner invested in helping you leave your committed relationship? In today's episode, I explain the importance of understanding the extent to which your focus is on your affair partner's desires and how to be aware if the decisions you're making are for yourself.   Even if you want the same things your affair partner wants, you each have to take your own path to get there, and it's important that you differentiate wanting something and actually deciding to do it. Learn the key thing to look for if your affair partner has an agenda for you and why it's not your job to do what they want you to do, even if you love them tremendously.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/180    

    179. How Long Should You Wait for Your Affair Partner to Leave Their Marriage?

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2024 36:16


    Today, I look at the question of how long you should wait for your affair partner to leave their marriage. Maybe you don't want to set a timeline for your partner and prefer to wait indefinitely for them to leave. Regardless of your situation, I guide you in making the decision that is right for you.   Learn the questions to ask yourself and discover how to get clear on how long you are willing to wait for them, why it's worth waiting, or why you are not willing to wait for them to leave their marriage.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/179  

    178. When You Have an Agenda for Your Affair Partner

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2024 34:21


    Today, I'm talking to those of you who have an agenda for your affair partner. Even though you mean well, the truth is that you can only manage your own business. It's important to let your affair partner figure things out for themselves, and today, I'll explain why.   Understanding what you want when you have an agenda, whether you realize it or not, will only help YOU deal with your infidelity situation. Hear why letting go of your agenda is good for your partner and perhaps even more so for yourself.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/178

    177. What It's Like to Work with Me

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2024 34:16


    Whether you've been a dedicated listener for a while or have just recently tuned in to the podcast, you might be curious about what it's like to work together. In this episode, I share what it's like to receive my coaching and how it can benefit you, regardless of the type of infidelity situation you are in.   I discuss my philosophy and approach to infidelity, explaining the three ways we can work together. You'll learn what you can expect from the Self-Guided Course, the Group Coaching Program, and from 1:1 coaching with me. Discover insights into the session dynamics, what we discuss, the unique benefits each option offers, and all the important details to help you determine which is the best fit for you right now.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/177

    176. Fear

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2024 37:53


    Fear is a universal human emotion, but many of us don't want to feel it, nor do we want to admit to feeling it. In this episode, I explain why it's important to consciously relate to the experience of fear and how doing so will eventually make dealing with your infidelity situation more comfortable.   Discover some tools to help you acknowledge and allow the emotion of fear. Learn to shift your perspective on how you relate to fear, understand it, and adapt to this normal human emotion.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/176

    175. The Right Tools for the Job

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2024 28:12


    Are you ready to make some changes but don't know where to start? This week, I share some helpful tools to help you create change and resolve your infidelity situation.   You might need to do things you've never done before, and that's okay. I explain how the sooner you find a way to address the situation, the better your overall quality of life will be, and I also discuss the role your feelings play when making significant changes. These tools will guide you through the changes in your relationships in a way that makes you feel great.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/175

    174. Believing in Your Capacity to Change

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2024 23:44


    With a new year beginning, there's a feeling of change in the air for some. And maybe that change has to do with your infidelity situation. In this episode, I explore how to take charge of change in your infidelity situation, the reasons we sometimes avoid change, and why our mindset is the number one factor in making change.   Tune in to learn how to be a person who takes action in a way you never have before. It is possible to feel differently about your infidelity situation, but more importantly, yourself.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/174

    173. The Easy Hard Paradox

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2023 30:49


    I believe that “difficulty” is not an absolute truth or fact but rather a matter of our thinking. In this episode, I discuss the many ways we can think differently about difficult situations. I revisit my concept of the “think, feel, act” cycle and explore how you can reshift your thinking around the idea of difficulty.   When we don't deal with the root of the problem, we usually prolong our troubles. And to not prolong our troubles, we simply need to start facing them. Tune in for some tough coaching that's coming from a loving place and learn that the best way we can show ourselves that we can do hard things is to do hard things.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/173

    172: Missing Your Affair Partner

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2023 29:37


    Often, people dealing with an affair ending come up against disenfranchised grief and finding forced validity in their experience. In today's episode, I discuss how to deal with missing your affair partner in a way that supports your feelings and reasons, regardless of your support system or situation.   Learn how to get through the three main stages of your affair ending and how to honor your sense of loss in each one. Understand how to find lessons in both your heavy and freeing feelings. There's so much beauty in our rocky, messy moments if you allow yourself to see it.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/172

    171. The Extreme Highs and Lows of Infidelity

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2023 25:26


    Often, our infidelity situations come with extreme highs and lows. In this episode, I talk about that emotional rollercoaster and how the extreme ups and downs can feel like a really big deal. I discuss different situations where these ups and downs can occur and how handling this rollercoaster is totally doable.   You get to decide how you want to ride the rollercoaster, how long you want to stay on, and when you want to get off. Tune in to learn some simple mental shifts that can help you feel in control, sane, and okay in your infidelity situation.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/171

    170. Planning to Break up with Someone After the Holidays

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2023 31:15


    Holidays or not, there's never a perfect time to break up with someone. You may have been planning to break up with your partner, but then Thanksgiving rolled around, now Christmas, and then it's New Year's…I get it, and it's okay to choose to wait. But how will you go through with your choice when the holidays are all said and done?   In this episode, I discuss how to make the most of breaking up with someone post-holiday. I teach you how to take initiative and make a clear decision, all while making the best of your choice and situation. Tune in to learn how to create a plan of action, prepare for the questions that come with a post-holiday break up, and deal with the inevitable uncomfortability.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/170

    169. Integrating Your Affair Partner Into Your Family

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2023 34:32


    The holidays are fast approaching, and you might be in the midst of figuring out your family's plans. More importantly, you may be figuring out how to integrate your former affair partner, now partner, into your family's holiday plans.    In this episode, I explore how to prepare for the different scenarios and responses that you may experience when bringing your new partner home for the holidays. I cover negative and lukewarm responses, how to play the long game, and that your relationship actually doesn't have to be the object of fascination this holiday.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/169

    168. The Gifts of Your Infidelity Situation

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2023 17:10


    In this episode, I share a lengthy list of questions that you can answer to help find the gifts within your infidelity situation. It would be silly to act like you're not getting something positive out of it, so why not acknowledge what that something is?    Answer these questions honestly, don't hold back, and don't judge your responses. Realize that being honest with yourself is a prerequisite for living the life you want. Regardless of the situation, your infidelity may be the catalyst for your growth, and that's something to always be thankful for. Tune in this week, and give yourself the chance to find your gifts.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/168

    167. Starting Over After a Breakup

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2023 37:19


    Breakups are an amazing opportunity to start over. You can be feeling sad, hurt, and angry, while also stepping into a new chapter of your life.   In this episode, I discuss how you can grow forward while still processing a breakup from the past. I talk about reframing the story of your breakup, how to foster new connections with yourself and others, and how to start actively cultivating joy. Choosing to begin a new chapter is a profound act of self-love. Listen in to learn how to start over after a breakup, and why you are so worth doing so.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/167

    166. The Hell of Being Broken up With

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2023 34:18


    If someone you love breaks up with you, it may hurt like hell.  If a relationship that you hoped would continue comes to an end, you may be hurt, devastated, and possibly very pissed off.     And that's totally fair and totally reasonable.  Sometimes the only possible response to being broken up with is to feel profoundly awful for a while.   In this week's episode of “Your Secret is Safe with Me,” I talk about why it can feel like you're dying when a relationship you've cherished comes to an end, and what to do if you feel that way.  In this episode I make two things clear: your pain is totally legitimate… and there are different ways of dealing with your pain.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/166

    165. Ultimatums

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2023 42:01


    It's reasonable to have hopes, wishes, and desires in any relationship. However, trying to coerce, cajole, or threaten your partner into getting what you want is never the solution. Whether you feel pulled to issue your infidelity partner an ultimatum, or find yourself on the receiving end of one, this episode covers both sides of the coin.   Join me this week to hear what you must recognize if you are thinking about issuing an ultimatum and how to navigate receiving an ultimatum in your affair relationship. I'm highlighting three main reasons people issue ultimatums, the subtle but key difference between ultimatums and boundaries, and why boundaries are the secret to feeling empowered, regardless of the actions your partner takes.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/165

    164. Cheating On Your Affair Partner

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2023 45:44


    Are you worried about cheating on your affair partner? Is that even possible? This is a real dilemma that my clients bring up, so if you can relate, you are definitely not alone.   What counts as cheating in this scenario can vary from person to person. However, there are three super common situations that my clients bring up, and I'm diving into all three this week. Tune in to explore how you may have gotten into this situation and what to do next.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/164

    163. Approaches to a Breakup: Breadcrumbs vs Bombshells

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2023 31:03


    Breaking up with partners is something most people lack experience in. Whether your breakup is the result of infidelity, you're breaking up with an affair partner, or you've just decided that you no longer want to be in a relationship, this episode is for you.   Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing whether it's better to take a breadcrumbs or a bombshell approach to breaking up with someone, and she's sharing how to decide which approach will work best for your specific situation.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/163

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