Podcasts about magic button

Social Media Werbung ist teuer und funktioniert nicht? Das ist leider ein Mythos! Fakt ist aber leider auch: Bei vielen klappt es tatsächlich nicht. Schnelle Hilfe verspricht hier die KI, also künstliche Intelligenz – wobei auch hier der Teufel im Detail steckt. Viele haben KI total missverstanden und denken, sie müssen nur auf einen „Magic Button“ drücken und alle Probleme lösen sich in Luft auf. Das klappt natürlich nicht. Wenn du aber weißt, wie du die KI richtig einsetzt, dann wirst du dein Geld mit Social Media Ads auf keinen Fall verbrennen, sondern zuverlässig vermehren. In dieser Folge von „Likes, Leads... Umsatz!“ zeige ich dir, was du dafür tun musst. Also hör dir diese Folge jetzt an und abonniere den Podcast... Sichere dich jetzt hier einen Termin für deine kostenlose Potenzial-Analyse: https://bjoerntantau.com/fragebogen Hol dir mein neues Buch "Die Social Media Million: Wie ich mir mit Social Media ein Online-Business mit 7-stelligem Umsatz aufgebaut habe", erfahre meine Geschichte mit allen Höhen und Tiefen und entdecke, mit welcher bewährten Strategie auch du dir so ein Online-Business mit Social Media aufbaust: https://bjoerntantau.com/buch-die-social-media-million Abonniere jetzt "Likes, Leads... Umsatz!" auf deiner Lieblingsplattform... APPLE PODCASTS - https://bjoerntantau.com/applepodcasts SPOTIFY - https://bjoerntantau.com/spotify AMAZON MUSIC - https://bjoerntantau.com/amazonmusic

#400! Yippee! Today, Rhonda has prepared a special celebration for our 400th podcast, and still going strong! She has invited a number of our favorite people and podcast guests to celebrate with us, starting with our beloved friend and frequent Ask David contributor, Matt May, MD, who officially joined us in early 2000. Matt's presence on the show had meant a great deal, personally and professionally, because I supervised Matt when he was a Stanford psychiatric resident, and had been missing our weekly chats! Our reunion via the Feeling Good Podcast has been special for that reason, but also because of Matt's kindly but scholarly answers to the many questions all of you submit. Keep them coming, and send them directly to Rhonda or David. We love reading and answering them! Next, we were joined by two more extraordinary psychiatrists and human beings, Drs. Heather Clague and Brandon Vance, who song their rendition (with guitar accompaniment) of “Help Dr. Burns!” (Based on Beetles' Help, I need somebody!” With their kind permission, here are the brilliant lyrics! Help! I need a podcast! Help! Not just any podcast! Help! Pushing the Magic Button for .... Help! When I was younger, 8 years younger than today I thought I could help everybody; help them in every way. I got so grandiose; I was so self-assured. I'd push my brilliant techniques, but my patients were never cured. So, Help me not to Help oh Dr. Burns Will they like me if they have to do the work? If I set an ultimatum, am I a jerk?! Won't you please, please stop me?! So many times, I tried to help, but then got stuck I didn't know but my patients were also thinking what the #?@! Your podcast said to test at the start and after every session. And then my eyes they opened wide Boy, was that a lesson! Oh Help me not to help, oh Dr. Burns! Help me unlearn the bad habits I have learned I'll do homework when my urge to help returns Won't you please, please help me?! Now I explore my patients' reasons not to change. I learned to sit with open hands if they choose to stay the same. Only when they fight for change and want to do the work, That's when I offer tools, and know the changes will endure. You've helped me not to help, oh Dr. Burns ‘Til my patients show me that they really yearn To do the work and ask me really firmly Won't you please, please help me? Your podcasts helped ME! Oooooooh! Much warmth to each of you! Heather and Brendan Our next guest was the brilliant and beloved Dr. Jill Levitt who joined my weekly Stanford training group when she and her husband, Brian, and two boys moved to the Bay Area from New York in 2007. Jill has moved up in the ranks and now co-leads the Tuesday group with me, and also joins me as co-therapists in a great many live sessions we have published as two consecutive podcasts. The idea is to document exactly how TEAM-CBT works, and how we can nearly always get such blow-away results in a single, extended session. That was my dream as a young man, since the methods I was taught as a psychiatric resident almost never got rapid results, or even any noticeable changes in my patients. Now that dream has become a reality, and a great many people in our TEAM-CBT community have contributed to that evolution. Next we were joined by our beloved Dr. Amy Huberman. Her riveting personal work on perfectionism was published recently on two consecutive Feeling Good Podcasts. Amy was glowing and filled with joy, which gave us great feelings of joy as well! And then we were graced by a visit from Mina, who has starred in many Feeling Good Podcasts on a number of personal issues. I will be seeing Mina and her beloved husband in a few minutes for our Sunday morning hike and dim sum feast afterwards. It is always a highlight of my week! Next was another Amy Berner who reported on her recent and wildly successful Intimate Connections Book Club with yet another psychiatrist, Dr. Leigh Harrington. Amy did some personal work with me on dating and sex appeal three years ago, when we discussed the Queen Bee phenomenon. Apparently, it was successful, because she brought her fantastic husband, Randy Kolin, as proof of the effectiveness of the many dating strategies and tips in that book. Randy is also a mental health professional who works with stressed-out scientists working on nuclear fusion at the Lawrence Livermore Laboratories. We wish him all the best since the work of those scientists is well on the road to creating commercially viable nuclear fusion, which will transform life as we know it on the surface of the earth by supplying unlimited, clean, low-cost energy. Their visit was followed by Zane Pierce, whom I hadn't had the chance to chat with much for a number of years. He led a recent “delight” and “gratitude” hike that we published on podcast # 361entitled “Finding Joy in Everyday Life,” with Dr. Angela Krumm from the Feeling Good Institute in Mountain View, California. We have done previous podcasts with Zane, and his lovely wife, Daisy, including one of our most popular podcasts ever on “What's the Secret of a Meaningful Life,” Episode 079. And then came the magnificent colleague and friend, Indrani Mookerjee.  Indrani joined our community after attending the 2019 intensive, and recently did one of the most explosive and jaw-dropping podcasts, Episodes 359 & 360, “You Wowed Me, A Mother-Daughter Conflict,” featuring her personal work on her relationship with her daughter. Indrani had struggled, unsuccessfully, to get close to her daughter, whom she loved greatly. She made a mind-blowing discovery of why during her personal work, and instantly achieved what I call “interpersonal enlightenment.) She now provides the joyous follow up on how her relationship with her daughter has blossomed and evolved since that momentous moment. Next, we were joined by Mike Christensen, who is our top TEAM therapist in Canada. Mike became familiar with my work when he read Feeling Good in 2006 and then heard a keynote speech I gave at a conference in 2009. Since that time, he attended many of my two-day workshops in Canada, and now is a leading TEAM-CBT therapist and teacher. He's been a featured guest on seven Feeling Good Podcasts or episodes of Facebook Live, when I was doing televised work on Facebook every Sunday afternoon. Mike describes himself as “joyously average,” a idea that really resonates with me. It is a form of “invisible enlightenment” which nearly everyone fears, but you cannot understand the incredible liberation of this “Great Death” of the “self” until you've experienced. We recollected a Feared Fantasy exercise we once did together while hiking one evening following a workshop in Canada. We also got updated on his beautiful and brilliant daughter, Katlin, who is now studying psychology in college and hopefully heading for her own career doing TEAM-CBT. And finally, one my most favorite people in the, our brilliant, wonderful, and funny Sara Shane, whose life-changing enlightenment has been a fantastic source of joy and inspiration to me and to many. Sara came from humble roots, as a Mexican immigrant picking fruit with her parents for survival in the US, and is now living in the Central Valley and attending not one, but two weekly TEAM-CBT training groups. She specializes in brief intensive treatments for the patients she treats. You may recall her from podcast #162, High Speed Cure for OCD, where she described her single-session treatment for 20 years of OCD / contamination phobia. She also did a lot of personal work to achieve liberation from her fairly severe social phobia and feelings of inferiority that were embedded from early childhood. We love you and so much appreciate you, Sara! That's about it for today, but than you all for listening. Next week, we will likely have two consecutive Ask David podcasts with Dr. Matt May, followed by two consecutive podcasts called “Raw Emotion: Personal work with Chris,” featuring the work that Jill and I did with a young man with social fears and an almost unbelievably traumatic childhood, growing up in Palo Alto. The sound quality is not always top-notch, sadly, but the unbelievable quality and impact of this session easily makes up for that, so we have decided to publish it anyway, and hope you find it as amazing as we did. David, Rhonda, and the whole gang! Special Announcement Attend the legendary Summer Intensive Featuring Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt August 8 - 11. 2024 Learn Advanced TEAM-CBT skills Heal yourself, heal your patients First Intensive in 5 long years. It will knock your socks off! Limited Seating--Act Fast! Click for registration / more information! Sadly, this workshop is a training program which will be limited to therapists and mental health professionals and graduate students in a mental health field  Apologies, but therapists have complained when non-therapists have attended our continuing education training programs. This is partly because of the intimate nature of the small group exercises and the personal work the therapists may do during the workshop. Certified coaches and counselors are welcome to attend. Hey, another special announcement! The long-awaited Feeling Great App is finally available in the Apple and Google stores. Check it out! You can try it for free!      

Looks Unfamiliar is a podcast in which writer and occasional broadcaster Tim Worthington talks to a guest about some of the things that they remember that nobody else ever seems to.Joining Tim this time is writer and soprano Suzy Robinson, who's pressing the Magic Button in the hope of conjuring up recollections of Crown Court, Now That's What I Call Music! 4, Nicol Williamson's reading of The Hobbit, Floodtide and Gus Honeybun's Magic Birthdays. Along the way we'll be finding out how Morten Harket accidentally ended up in Dorking, writing in to Stanley Spencer's Magic Birthdays, revealing when BBC Test Card F might actually be your less terrifying viewing option and debating whether J.R.R. Tolkien's prose is better enhanced by deeply ingrained record scratches or by Bernard Cribbins banging his head on the studio ceiling.You can find more editions of Looks Unfamiliar at http://timworthington.org/.If you enjoy Looks Unfamiliar, you can help to support the show by buying us  a coffee here. Or you could write in to Gus Honeybun, I suppose, but even though he almost certainly had his own branded mugs where the transfer came off the first time you washed them, I severely doubt he had his own Magic Birthdays Roast.

The Magic Button that I'm diving deeper into this week is the one you wish you could push to answer all your questions about your infidelity situation. The one that, when you push it, your infidelity situation magically resolves in a way that you are delighted with, without you having to do much of anything. That magic button would solve all your problems, right?    I teach you how to contend with things that are challenging in your life and infidelity situation in a way that is most empowering for you. I show you the problem with looking for external examples and answers regarding what to do about your infidelity situation, and how to, instead, use your precious time and energy learning how to come up with your own answers.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/190

393 Marina Dyck on TEAM for Insomnia Today we feature Marina Dyck, a TEAM-Certified Clinical Counselor in private practices in Swift Current, Saskatchewan, Canada. She works with individuals and families struggling with trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship issues. She combines the latest research in neuroscience, powered by TEAM-CBT, and what she calls the "whole person" approach. Marina describes her innovative TEAM-CBT treatment for patients with trouble sleeping. Many of them toss and turn at night, unable to turn off their anxious and agitated brains, so they ruminate over and over about problems that are bugging them. Sound familiar? Here's David's quick, step by step overview of Marina's treatment approach, which is based on the steps of TEAM and the Daily Mood Log. Step 1. Let's imagine you're the patient (or the shrink), so you start with a brief description of the Upsetting Event at the top of the Daily Mood Log. It could be something as simple as ”Lying in bed for several hours, unable to get to sleep because I keep ruminating about a report I have not finished for work,” or some other problem. Step 2. Identify your negative feelings and estimate how intense each one is on a scale from 0 (not at all) to 100 (the worst.) For example, you may be feeling: Sad, down: 80% Anxious, panicky: 95% Guilty, ashamed: 70% Inadequate, incompetent, inferior: 90% Alone: 100% Discouraged: 80% Frustrated: 95% Angry, annoyed: 100% Step 3: Record your negative thoughts and how strongly you believe each one from 0% to 100%. For example, you may be telling yourself: I have to get to sleep! 100% If I don't get to sleep, I'll never be able to function tomorrow. 90% I should have completed my report for my boss today. 100% I should get out of bed and work on it. 90% There must be something wrong with me. 100% etc. etc. Step 4. Identify the distortions in these thoughts, like All-or-Nothing Thinking, Fortune-Telling, Should Statements, Emotional Reasoning, Magnification, and more. Now, if you're a shrink, after you've empathized, do the A = Paradoxical Agenda Setting or Assessment of Resistance. If you're a general citizen, you can do Positive Reframing. In other words, instead of trying to make your negative thoughts and feeling disappear entirely by pushing the Magic Button, you can ask two questions about each negative thought (NT) or feeling: How might this NT or feeling be helping me? What does this NT or feeling show about me and my core values that's positive and awesome? Example. In the current example you are 95% anxious and panicky about your report for work as well as the fact that you can't relax and fall asleep. Could there be some positives in your anxiety and panic? For example, these feelings might show Your intense commitment to your work. They may be a reflection of your high standards. Your anxiety, while uncomfortable, has probably motivated you to work hard and achieve a great deal. Your anxiety may protect you from danger and keep you focused on what you have to do to succeed and survive. Your anxiety could be an expression of your respect for your boss and for the company you're working for. Your desire to do a good job is probably a reflection of one of your core values as a human being. You could make similar lists for other feelings as well, like feeling down, guilty, discouraged, angry, and so forth. At that point, you can set your goals for every negative feeling. For example, you might decide that 15% or 20% might be enough anxiety and panic, and that 15% shame would be enough, and so forth. You can record your goals for each negative feeling in the goal column of your Daily Mood Log. This is much easier than if you try to reduce them all to zero by pressing the Magic Button. And even if you could, then all of the positives you listed would go down the drain, right along with your negative thoughts and feelings. Instead, you can aim to reduce them to some lower level that would allow you to relax while still maintaining your core personal values. Now we're ready for the M = Methods portion of the TEAM session. You will enjoy this portion of the podcast. Marina led Rhonda in three classic TEAM methods: The Paradoxical Double Standard Technique, the Externalization of Voices, and something Marina calls Distraction Training, which is actually a mix of Image Substitution, self-hypnosis, and relaxation training. Essentially, you focus on something positive and relaxing, as opposed to ruminating about all you have to do. This approach will come to life when you listen to the podcast, and I think you will agree that it IS innovative and significantly different and from 99% of what is currently sold as “insomnia treatment!” Marina emphasizes that you, the client, will have to agree to spend 15 to 20 minutes per day doing written work with the Daily Mood Log, or all bets are off. In addition, I would like to add that you and your shrink (or you and your patient) will have to find effective ways to combat each patient's ruminations and negative thoughts, because we're all quite different and our problems will usually be unique. In fact, that's why I (David) have created way more than 100 methods for challenging distorted thoughts. But here's the basic idea: When you learn to CHANGE the way you THINK, you can CHANGE the way you FEEL as well as the way you SLEEP! Thanks so much for listening today, and happy dreams! Marina, Rhonda and David  

Featured Photo is Dr. Amy Huberman The Amy Story Part 1: True Confessions of a “Fraud” and a “Failure” Part 2: The Joys of Doing the Laundry Amy and her exuberant son, Sasha, and husband, Poppy Today's podcast, and next week's podcast, include a single, two-hour session with Amy Huberman, MD. Amy is a psychiatrist in private practice in Baltimore, MD. She also serves on the volunteer faculty at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. Amy specializes in brief, intensive psychotherapy to help people overcome struggles with anxiety, OCD, and trauma, but today comes to us to get some help with her own anxiety. Often doing our own work can be a vitally important part of our training and growth as mental health professionals. Amy has been upset because she is stuck with two of her patients, and she's telling herself that she's a “fraud” and a “failure.” Although her life is undoubtedly very different from yours, the root cause of her problem might be very similar to the source of your unhappiness, especially if you sometimes get down in the dumps and tell yourself that you're just not good enough. My co-therapist for this session is Jill Levitt, Ph.D. co-founder and Director of Clinical Training at the Feeling Good Institute in Mt. View California. Jill also serves on the Adjunct Faculty at the Stanford Medical School and is co-leader of my weekly TEAM Therapy training group at Stanford, Tuesdays from 5-7:00 pm pst.  If you are interested in joining David and Jill's Tuesday group, please contact Ed Walton, edwalton100@gmail.com. That group is now virtual and therapists from the Bay Area and around the world are welcome to attend. It is free of charge. Rhonda Barovsky also runs a free weekly training group with Richard Lam, on Wednesdays, from 9-11:00 am pst, which is also free of charge. If you are interested in joining the Wednesday group, please contact Ana Teresa Silva, ateresasilva6@gmail.com.  Because the groups are virtual, they are open to therapists from around the world. Amy has been a member of our Tuesday training group, and is a highly skilled, certified TEAM therapist. Like nearly all the mental health professionals who come for training every Tuesday, Amy has incredibly high standards and is sometimes harshly self-critical when she feels she is not living up to them. At the same time, those high standards can be strongly motivating, and this can create strong feelings of ambivalence when it's time to change. Sound familiar? If you're struggling with perfectionism, you might want to check out these two podcasts! Part 1. The True Confessions of a “Fraud” and a “Failure” Amy opened by saying she was anxious and telling herself: I'm about to reveal my weaknesses and my inner self—This is something I've never done before in such a public setting. . . I also have to confess that I'm struggling with social anxiety right now. I'm afraid that my patients might see this and think, “I don't want to work with her! I want to work with a competent psychiatrist.” I Included that because I am hoping you will appreciate Amy's incredible courage and gift of sharing her true inner self today! Amy described the problem that's been bothering her for several weeks. Although she specializes in the short-term treatment of anxiety, she has been struggling with two patients with OCD symptoms who have been stuck and not making significant progress for a long time. This has triggered feelings of shame and intense anxiety which have invaded Amy's every moment when she's NOT seeing patients, and has even prevented her from getting restful sleep at night. She keeps ruminating and beating up on herself. You can see Amy's  Daily Mood Log Amy here.. As you can see, she was feeling intensely sad, panicky and ashamed, and rated these three feelings as 80% on a scale from 0 (not at all) to 100 (the most severe). She was also feeling worthless and defective which she rated at 100%, as well as hopeless (90%) and stuck (80%). As you know, feelings do not result from the events in our lives (in Amy's case, the fact that two of her patients were stuck), but rather from her thoughts, or interpretations, of those events. You can see on her Daily Mood Log that she was being intensely self-critical, telling herself that she was failing her patients, that she should refund their money, that she was not competent to practice psychotherapy and should find a new career, that she “should” know how to get them unstuck, and more, and finally that she was a fraud and a failure. Her belief in all of these thoughts was super high, ranging from 80% to 100%. And if you've ever felt down or inadequate, I'm sure you recognize the same types of thoughts in your own thinking, telling yourself that you're a failure, or not good enough, and so forth. During the session, Jill and David went through the TEAM acronym: T = Testing We measured her negative feelings at the start of the session so we could measure them again at the end to see how we did. E = Empathy We listened and supported Amy without trying to “help” or “save” her. The goal was to understand her thoughts and feelings accurately, while providing a sense of compassion, warmth, and acceptance. This phase of the two-hour session lasted about 30 minutes, and Amy told us how she constantly ruminated about those two patients, asking herself “What am I doing wrong, what am I missing, what should I be doing differently?” She described these thoughts as a relentless “broken record in my brain.” She confessed that her deepest fear was, “What if they kill themselves and I was responsible for their deaths?” She said this fear was almost unbearable!” I pointed out that was also my deepest fear when I was in private practice—I was never upset by treating large numbers of severely depressed patients in back-to-back sessions, and it always made me happy, since I felt I had something to offer. But if I said something that hurt someone's feelings, I found that pain almost unbearable until I saw the patient again the next week, and could talk things over and get back on a positive track. Jill pointed out that Amy's ruminations showed that she was a highly responsible psychiatrist who cared deeply about her patients! And while that is certainly a positive thing, the intensity of her fears had invaded every minute of her life, making her life miserable, even when she was with her family. Amy said her fears have intensified since 2020, when she transitioned away from a traditional psychiatric practice involving long-term weekly psychotherapy and med-management, to focusing on short-term intensive psychotherapy using the TEAM model. Then we asked her to grade us at the end, thinking about three categories of Empathy: Did we understand how she was thinking? Did we understand how she was feeling? Did she feel cared about and accepted? She gave us an A, which triggered our move to the next phase of our work with Amy. A = Assessment of Resistance In this phase of the session, we pinpointed Amy's goals for our session and  melted away her potential resistance to her stated goal of learning to give up that self-critical voice in her brain. We asked her to imagine we had a Magic Button, and if she pushed it, all of her negative thoughts and feelings would instantly disappear, with no effort on her part, and she'd feel jubilant and happy. She said she wasn't so sure she'd do that. Most patients say YES, but Amy is familiar with the TEAM approach and knows that negative thoughts and feelings often result from some of our positive qualities. Our strategy at this phase of the session was paradoxical: Instead of trying to help, save, or rescue Amy, and instead of trying to persuade her to change, we took the role of her subconscious resistance to change. With her help, we listed some of the many positives in her negative thoughts and feelings by asking these two questions. What does this negative thought or feeling show about you and your core values that's positive and awesome? How might this this negative thought or feeling be helping you and your patients? Here are just a few of the positives we found in her negative thoughts and feelings: The Positives in Amy's Negative Feelings Feeling What this Shows Inadequacy Keeps me from being overconfident   Keeps me humble, so I'm open to what I may be missing   Shows I care about constant growth and learning   Shows I'm listening   Shows I care about my patients Anxiety Motivates me to think about things from other perspectives   Motivates me to work hard   Keeps me honest   Shows that I have high standards   My high standards have motivated me to learn a lot. You can do the same kind of Positive Reframing with all Amy's negative thoughts and feelings, as well as your own. The list of positives would be long and impressive! After listing these positives, we asked Amy these three questions: Are these positives real? Are they important? Are they powerful? How would YOU answer these questions if you were Amy? She gave a strong yes to all three questions. At the end we pointed out that it might not be such a great idea to push the Magic Button to eliminate the negative voice in her brain, because then all these positives would also disappear. Instead, she decided to use the Magic Dial to reduce her negative feelings to some lower level where she could keep all the positives but suffer much less. Here you can see her goals for how she wanted to feel at the end of her session.   Emotions % Now % Goal % After Sad, blue, depressed, down, unhappy 80 25   Anxious, worried, panicky, nervous, frightened 80 20   Guilty, remorseful, bad, ashamed 90 5   Worthless, inadequate, defective, incompetent 100 15   Lonely, unloved, unwanted, rejected, alone       Embarrassed, foolish, humiliated, self-conscious       Hopeless, discouraged, pessimistic, despairing 90 5   Frustrated, stuck, thwarted, defeated 80 5   Angry, mad, resentful, annoyed, irritated, upset, furious       Other         As you can see, she decided to aim for fairly large reductions in all six of her negative feelings. These goals are not guarantees she will be able to reduce her feelings. In addition, the goals are not rigid, since she may be able to reduce them even further once she begins to challenge her negative thoughts. Our real aim at this phase of our work was to reduce her feelings of shame and failure so she could see that her “symptoms” were NOT the expression of what was WRONG with her, but the expression of what was RIGHT with her. Paradoxically, this often reduces the resistance to change and vastly enhances the possibility of rapid and dramatic change during the final, M = Methods portion of the session that you'll hear next week, along with some follow-up information. The important thing we've hopefully accomplished is reducing Amy's resistance so she can learn how to challenge and defeat the relentless and hostile voice in her brain that constantly puts her down whenever she fails to live up to her extremely high, and arguably perfectionistic, standards. End of Part 1 Thanks for listening today. Be sure to tune in to the exciting conclusion of the work with Amy next week! Rhonda, Amy, Jill, and David

Marcus talks phone tricks, fun runs, how terrible Auckland airport is, and where the Prime Minister should live. LISTEN ABOVE See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In the newest episode of the Becoming HeadStrong Podcast, Coach Chelsea talks about a topic called "Magic Button Thinking." This plays a role in our confidence and motivation everyday. If you could press a magic button and make one thing happen, what would it do? Our confidence can come from past accomplishments, seeing growth in yourself in a task through practice, etc. It cannot come from the push of the magic button. Listen along with Coach Chelsea to learn more about this type of thinking, finding the joy in pursuit of confidence, and more!

Personal Work with Dr. Tom Gedman-- Overcoming Performance Anxiety The Triumphant Conclusion Last week you heard Part 2 of our personal work with Dr. Tom Gedman, which included T = Testing and E = Empathy. This week you will hear the dramatic and inspiring conclusion of the session, including A = Assessment of Resistance and M = Methods. Dr. Tom's beloved pal   Start of Part 2 A = Assessment of Resistance We began with the Invitation Step, asking Dr. Gedman what he hoped to accomplish in today's session. His list included: Develop some clarity on the direction of my business. Become more authentic in my video recordings promoting my clinical work. Increase in self-confidence. Feel accepted by David and Rhonda. My ability to push ahead during recordings instead of stopping and backing down because it isn't “good enough.” Dr. Gedman said that he'd gladly push the Magic Button to make his negative thoughts and feelings instantly disappear, but agreed to look at some of the positives in them first by asking these types of questions of each negative thought or feeling. Is there some truth in this negative thought? Could this negative thought or feeling be appropriate or even healthy, given my circumstances? How might this negative thought or feeling be helping me? What does this negative thought or feeling show about me and my core values that's positive and awesome? Could there be some negative consequences of giving up this negative thought or feeling? The Positives in My Negatives Negative thought: “I can't be authentic on videos. I look like such s smug phony.” I want to be other-centered, and focused on how I might be able to relieve the emotional struggles and health problems of my patients. I value being authentic and genuine. I want to help people who resonate with my message. I don't want to hide. I want to be open with my flaws. I value honesty and integrity. I value humility. I value compassion. Negative feeling: sadness I care a great deal about my dream. I don't want to fail and let my family down. Negative feeling: shame Motivates me to work harder Shows my love for my family. I'm aware that I'm letting down the very people I want to help. Negative feeling: inferior, inadequate Show that I respect and admire the many people who have superior skills at talking live in front of a camera. Shows that I'm aware of what others have accomplished. Shows I don't feel superior to others. The idea behind the Positive Reframing is to help the patients see that their negative thoughts and feelings are not the expression of what's “wrong” with them, but what's right with them. This paradoxically reduces the resistance to change and opens the door to the possibility of rapid recovery. You can see Dr. Gedman's goals for each of the negative feelings on his Daily Mood Log if you click here. As you can see, instead of trying to eliminate his negative thoughts and feelings by pushing the Magic Button, he has decided to dial them down to lower levels with the Magic Dial. Of course, these are only goals. We will need methods to challenge and smash his negative thoughts so we can reduce his negative feelings. M = Methods Rhonda, Tom, and David used a variety of methods to work on several negative thoughts Tom wanted to work on first, including numbers 1, 2, and 4 from Tom's Daily Mood Log.. I can't be authentic. I look like a smug phony. 100% I waste so much time on my videos. I should be quicker. This should be easier. 100% David and Rhonda will judge me for what I'm doing. 80% We used several methods including Explain the Distortions, Survey Technique, Externalization of Voices (with Self-Defense, Acceptance Paradox, Counter-Attack Technique,) and more You can see Dr. Gedman's end-of-session scores on his nine negative feelings on his Daily Mood Log if you click here. As you can see, eight of the feelings fell all the way to zero, and his feelings of inadequacy fell from 100 all the way to 5. Toward the end of the session, we discussed Tom's medical and psychological philosophy, which might appeal to some of our podcast fans, especially if you live in England. First, he uses TEAM-CBT in individual two-hour sessions to help help people who are struggling with feelings of depression and anxiety. He finds this work thrilling because you can often see amazing changes within a single session, just like we saw in Tom's work today. Dr. Gedman also hopes to develop TEAM-CBT groups as well. This can be difficult because you need many referrals, but in my experience, TEAM groups can be incredibly effective, and cost-effective as well. In addition, Tom also has a Functional Medical Practice which focuses on developing healthy nutritional and eating habits, consistent exercise, limiting the intake of toxins, developing loving relationships via the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, and enhancing spirituality. If you would like to contact Dr. Gedman and learn more about his clinical practice, he can be reached at www.DrTomGedman.com. Toward the beginning of these show notes, I reminded everyone of how anxious and insecure our beloved Rhonda felt at the start of our work together, when she took over for Fabrice. And now, she seems to be the poster child for charm, warmth, humor, and charisma. That doesn't usually happen automatically. Rhonda, like Tom, did her hard personal work, using the Daily Mood Log and several TEAM-CBT methods. But one thing that has been especially helpful to her, after initially “beating” her insecurity, has been the constant exposure work, with hours of weekly podcast recordings. I, too, have had the chance to do constant, ongoing exposure for my own extreme feelings of inadequacy in front of live audiences or cameras, since I teach every week at my Stanford psychotherapy training class, as well as frequent  workshops, In addition, I have recorded almost daily for the Feeling Great App, which should be released in the first quarter of 2024. This exposure work has helped me cement and extend my gains in overcoming my own performance anxiety. I plan to contact Tom to recommend the same. Perhaps in England they have program similar to Toastmasters, where you can have the chance to speak in public frequently and get valuable feedback from peers and colleagues. I want to give a big hug and thanks to you, Tom, for sharing your intensely personal and real personal work with all of us today, and thanks, too, for reminding us of our own humanity and the magic of humility and the “Great Death” of the “Self.” Thanks for listening today! Tom, Rhonda, and David

Jessica Malvicino Live Work With Jessica-- Living with Regrets Rhonda and I recently did live work at a TEAM-CBT intensive in Mexico City. Our “patient” was a 40 year old mental health professional named Jessica with many years of unhappiness because of a decision she made when she was just 17. Perhaps you've also looked back on your life and thought, “If only I would have . . . “ done something I didn't do,” as well as, “I wish I hadn't done X, when I was young.” Last week you heard the initial Testing and Empathy portions of the session with Jessica. Today you'll hear the Assessment of Resistance, Methods, and final Testing..     Part 2 of the Jessica Session A = Assessment of Resistance Jessica said her goal for the session was learning to accept life and move on, and not have such constant feelings of emptiness, with so many “I should have” thoughts running through her brain. Although Jessica, like most people, said she'd press the Magic Button to make all of her negative thoughts and feelings disappear, we decided to do some Positive Reframing first, to see if there were some positives hiding in her negative feelings. We asked the following questions about a number of her negative feelings and thoughts: Why might this thought or feeling be appropriate and healthy? Why might this thought or feeling be helpful to you? Why does this thought or feeling show about you and your core values that's positive and awesome. ? As you probably know, the goal of there are two goals for this paradoxical exercise: First, we want to bring the patient's subconscious resistance to conscious awareness. Second, we want her to see that her struggling and suffering is NOT the result of what's WRONG with her, but rather, what's RIGHT with her. The moment that people really “see” and “get” this, there's often a sharp and sudden reduction in feelings of shame, and a strong burst of motivation to crush the negative thoughts at the heart of her misery. Here are some of the Positives we listed: SADNESS My sadness shows my passion and love of dancing. It shows my dedication to the idea of having a fulfilling career. It shows that I'm a very loving person. ANXIETY, WORRY, NERVOUSNESS These feelings show that I'm responsible motivate me to complete tasks help me avoid procrastination make me vigilant and protect me from danger SHAME These feeling show that I'm concerned about others I'm human I want to please others with my career I admire my mom and want to make her proud I want her to admire me I'm humble I want to feel close to others ANGER These feelings show that I'm a caring and passionate person I have character I have a moral compass I'm feisty and strong I'm accountable My anger also empowers me After listing these and other positives, Jessica decided to use the Magic Dial to reduce her negative feelings to lower levels, but not necessarily all the way to zero, as you can see in the goal column on her emotions table: Emotions % Now % Goal % After Emotions % Now % Goal % After Sad, depressed, unhappy 90 20   Foolish 100 0   Anxious, worried, nervous 90 10   Discouraged 97 5   Bad, ashamed 95 0   Frustrated, stuck, defeated 100 5   Inadequate 90 0   Angry, mad, resentful, annoyed 95 10   Lonely 92 5   Other         Then we went on to M = Methods These were some of the negative thoughts that Jessica wanted to challenge, along with the percent she initially believed each of them: I'm a failure. 90% My mom is to blame for not understanding the career path that I wanted. 90% I was an idiot for not following my dreams. 100% Nothing will truly fulfill my professional career. 100% I have to “settle” for my professional career now.100% She had many others ad well. We used a variety of techniques to challenge and crush these thoughts, including the Externalization of Voices with Self-Defense, the Acceptance Paradox, and the CAT (Counter-Attack Technique), and used frequent role reversals to help Jessica get to “huge” wins when she was in the role of her positive thoughts. Here you can see Jessica's scores in the “% After” column. As you can see, her scores were extraordinarily low, which is terrific. Emotions % Now % Goal % After Emotions % Now % Goal % After Sad, depressed, unhappy 90 20 0 Foolish 100 0 3 Anxious, worried, nervous 90 10 0 Discouraged 97 5 0 Bad, ashamed 95 0 0 Frustrated, stuck, defeated 100 5 10 Inadequate 90 0 0 Angry, mad, resentful, annoyed 95 10 5 Lonely 92 5 0 Other         Typically, such drastic and sudden reductions in negative feelings not only indicate “recovery,” but the experience of feelings of joy and enlightenment. At the end we asked Jessica two questions: Are the scores valid, or is she just trying to please us? If they are valid, what were the most healing and helpful aspects of the session? As you listen to the end of the live session, you'll find out what she said! Rhonda and I hope you enjoyed the session with Jessica. We believe that live work with real people, and not role players who are pretending to be in therapy, is invaluable, and one of the best—and only—ways to learn many of the subtleties of rapid and effective treatment. And if you are a general citizen, and not a therapist, I hope your found our work with the brave and wonderful Jessica to be inspirational and educational, especially if you have also sometimes felt depressed, anxious, or ashamed, and if you have found that regrets about the past can put a real damper on your capacity to live and enjoy your precious present moments! Our best teaching is usually through live work, and so we give you, Jessica, a warm thanks and salute for the great teaching YOU have done today! Thanks for listening, everybody! Jessica, Rhonda and David  

Discover the transformative power of Team Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Psychiatrist Heather Clague reveals how TEAM CBT builds on traditional CBT methods to catalyze change more rapidly. Learn structured techniques to reframe limiting thoughts, align behaviors with values, and overcome anxiety, depression and ingrained habits. Heather explains how TEAM incorporates structured empathy, analyzes resistance, and draws from a diverse toolkit of methods. Gain insights into cognitive distortions, empathy techniques like the "5 Secrets," and the "magic button" for reframing emotions. Discover practical ways TEAM CBT facilitates transformation through continual practice and "homework." Whether you want to manage difficult feelings more effectively, improve relationships, or unlock your potential, this episode unpacks how TEAM CBT can empower conscious, positive change. Join us and discover how the evolution of CBT can help you harness the power of your choices. Chapters: 00:00 237 - Heather Clague MD 00:00 Introduction 02:05 What is TEAM CBT? 03:51 How does it differ from regular CBT? 04:14 What does the acronym TEAM stand for? 06:01 What style of therapy did you previously do? 06:46 Homework is an important aspect of TEAM CBT 08:03 Similar to it's Stoic roots 09:17 Methods created by Dr David Burns 10:02 Who is Dr David Burns? 10:45 When did you first get involved with TEAM? 12:02 The Magic Button 14:47 10 common cognitive distortions 16:16 The book, Feeling Great 16:37 The Feeling Great book club 18:29 Motivational Interviewing 20:37 The book, Feeling Good 22:08 What habits would Tony like to change? 27:43 Resistance 28:45 Reframing relapse 31:47 The concept is similar to doing meditation well 33:33 The 5 secrets of empathy 38:08 Advice for those stuck in reactive patterns 39:27 Proactivity and conscious choice making 41:52 How to get more info on TEAM CBT 42:33 Heather's Favourite book 43:49 The film Rashomon 45:23 Heather's favourite quote 47:40 Next week-episode 238 with Dr Catherine Steele View on YouTube at https://youtu.be/G-FyvPiTJRE Full shownotes including a transcription available at: https://tonywinyard.com/heather-clague/ The Art of Living Proactively (Harnessing the Power of Your Choices) links: Website - tonywinyard.com Facebook Page - facebook.com/TonyWinyard.HabitsAndHealth Facebook Group - facebook.com/groups/habitshealth Twitter - @TonyWinyard Instagram - @tony.winyard LinkedIn - uk.linkedin.com/in/tonywinyard YouTube - .youtube.com/@tony-winyard How to leave a podcast review - tonywinyard.com/how-to-leave-a-podcast-review/ Details of online workshops to create habits for health - tonywinyard.com/training/ Are you in control of your habits or are they in control of you? Take my quiz to find out - tonywinyard.com/quiz Embark on an enlightening journey to discover the essence of proactive living in my podcast, "The Art of Living Proactively: Harnessing the Power of Your Choices". Your guide is none other than Tony Winyard, a multifaceted professional committed to the cause of health and wellness. He's a qualified Functional Medicine Health Coach, Oxygen Advantage Instructor, HeartMath Certified Coach, nutrition coach accredited by Precision Nutrition, a Laughter Yoga Instructor and a Tiny Habits coach. This comprehensive set of skills allows Tony to navigate the complex web of interconnected wellness disciplines, providing a holistic approach to health. Tony champions the cause of busy individuals, helping them reclaim their health through gradual and transformative changes in lifestyle, habits, and nutrition. With an impressive career spanning over 20 years in coaching, public speaking, and workshop facilitation, Tony has impacted lives from diverse backgrounds and cultures. He is fervently dedicated to empowering individuals to upgrade their health, well-being, and overall life quality. With Tony, your journey to wellness is grounded in the five core pillars of health - sleep, stress management, breathing, nutrition, and physical activity. He assists clients in embracing beneficial habits while shedding unwanted ones. Whether you seek online sessions or in-person engagement, individual coaching or group interaction, or are looking for corporate health and wellness programmes, Tony's offerings cater to all your needs. Ready to conquer your health journey? Reach out to Tony and discover the power of proactive living.

Live Therapy with Veena: Part 2 of 3 Last week you heard the first half of the session with Veena, a young woman who was devastated by a medical problem that may make it difficult or impossible to conceive the child she is dreaming of. Today, you will hear the inspiring and dramatic conclusion of her story, along with the feedback comments from the individuals in David and Jill's Tuesday training group who witnessed the live work. A = Assessment of Resistance Jill asked if she felt ready to roll up her sleeves and get to work on some aspect of what she'd been telling us, and she was. Jill then asked what she was hoping to get from tonight's session. If we could offer a “Miracle Cure,” what would that look like? She said, “I'd feel a lot less guilty and responsible, so I would no longer feel like the problem was my fault. I'd know that I did my best and that I can be okay even if people don't like me or judge me. Jill asked the Magic Button question, and she said that she love to see her guilt go all the way to zero, but not her many other negative feelings, like depression, anxiety, inadequacy, self-consciousness, hopelessness, upset, insecurity and self-doubt. With Positive Reframing in mind, we listed many of the positives in these negative feelings, including: Sadness. This feeling shows that I care for people and want to give them the best. It shows that I also care for my own dreams of having a baby. And it shows how much I love my mother. Anxiety, worry. This is a warning signal, reminding me to be alert and do my best, and do what the doctors require. Guilt. Shows that I'm humble and willing to be accountable and examine what I've done and look at my own mistakes. Self-Consciousness. Protects me by making me cautious so I don't just blurt out everything. Defectiveness. I see my flaws, and allows me to get closer to others, and to feel happy for the success of others. Hopelessness. When I told my husband I felt hopeless, he became SO supportive. Also, I gave myself some space so I could create an action plan. You can see the goals Veena set for each emotion on her Daily Mood Log if you click HERE. Veena with her in-laws M = Methods During the methods phase of the session, we used a variety of techniques, especially Externalization of Voices with the Acceptance Paradox, Self-Defense, and the CAT (Counterattack Technique.) We did quite a few role-reversals, which is typical, before Veena got to wins that were “huge.” There were lots of tears and laughter, and eventually Veena blew all of her negative thoughts out of the water. It was inspiring to observe this process, and to be a part of it. You can see her final Daily Mood Log if you click HERE. I think it is fair to say the Veena experienced a kind of enlightenment which was profound. Final T = Testing You can see Veena's end-of-session Brief Mood Survey and Evaluation of Therapy Session if you click HERE. You can also see her final Daily Mood LOG if you click here. Our work with Veena was some of the most inspiring work that I can recall. It was tremendously mood-uplifting, and took on a spiritual quality. You will have to listen to the session to get a feel for how majestic it was. But in my opinion, Veena did not just recover, but she achieved enlightenment, which including discovering how to love herself and her extended family as well! The following is an email I sent Veena the next morning: Hi Veena, Thanks. You were totally awesome last night, thanks so much for your contribution. I am sure the podcast will reach huge numbers of people and make a big impact on peoples' lives. I cannot remember a more exciting and loving session. We will see what the groups thinks in the feedback. I did not copy or read the chats during the session, but perhaps you or Jill did. . . We will invite you to join us on a podcast recording to get some follow-up information from you, as folks will be very interested, for the two-part podcast. Yes, I think we really were walking on holy ground last night! Thanks so much for making that happen! I am trying to recall (and will do more of this) the teaching points from last night, and a few seem important to me. They seem awfully basic and simple, but still of towering importance and have to be “seen” to be understood at a deep level. 1. In TEAM, even when a problem is “real,” it is still our thoughts that create our emotions. Our thoughts really DO create all of our feelings. 2. Those thoughts can be subtly distorted in all kinds of ways and seem determined to trick us into believing things that are not true. And even super smart people, like Veena, can be fooled. 3. We are not aiming for improvement, although that is obviously desirable, but a dramatic transformation of the human spirit and outlook. 4. Warmth, tenderness, and compassion—for others and for yourself--are important and powerful. 5. There is a strong mind-body connection, and healing your soul can often help to heal your body. 6. Good therapy can sometimes be much more than just “therapy.” Something almost magical can sometimes happen, and the change can sometimes happen rapidly. However, many people do not like hearing this, and some are even angered by this idea! This is especially true of people who have suffered and struggled for many years without success in changing the way they think and feel. 7. Recovery sometimes requires courage and trust. Just more babbling from the old guy! Apologies if it sounds ridiculous or “off.” If other teaching points come to mind, please let us know so I can add them to the list! I am betting that Jill and Veena can maybe add to this list! (and edit it as well) Warmly, david Below, you will find some excepts from the feedback that the participants provided after the session. Please describe what you specifically disliked about the training? What could have been improved? Were there some things you disagreed with or did not understand?  Nothing. It was beautiful. I wouldn't want to change anything about tonight's experience. It was so moving! Please describe what you specifically liked about the training? What was the most helpful? Were there some things you learned? I loved Veena's personal work and besides my admiration and pride of her and the gratefulness to David and Jill for sharing this wonderful work . . . I enjoy the empathy and validation as well as the trust in the process that was so beautifully demonstrated. Beautiful job by all concerned. Very impressed with Veena and how clearly she "got it" when she used the CAT (Counterattack Technique). I was very moved by Veena's story and her courage in sharing it with us. I felt as if we were witnessing a kind of history because, in the past, wives who couldn't bear children were often devalued and even rejected. Veena pushed back against that kind of thinking and instead chose to love herself. By working toward dispelling the distorted thoughts, she affirmed not only herself, but women with similar experiences now and throughout history. When she affirmed that her mother, mother-in-law, and husband would be empathetic and wouldn't actually reject her, I felt elated, thinking that the world is making progress and becoming a more compassionate place. I was also touched by the following ideas: feeling genuine sadness without distortions; locating the source of pain in distorted self-critical thoughts; painful experiences bringing loved ones closer together. The safe space that was created, the sensitivity with which the topic was handled and the respect accorded to the client. It's incredible how the trainers (Dr. Burns & Jill), set aside their ailments, and were with Veena through her journey of anticipatory loss, and her fears and apprehensions, along with her inner battle of dealing with deeply entrenched social conditionings, that are hard to face and ward off. I loved the session. Enjoyed watching the whole team model unfold. I'm so grateful to Veena for sharing this previous part of her life with all of us. It was a huge honor. I am constantly surprised by Dr Burns' and Jill's mastery of TEAM and their deep empathy skills. This was moving and exhilarating…all at once. Observing two great therapists in action. I liked how Jill and David would make notes to the class about what step they were going on to next. Veena was so amazing and brave to share her experience. As a 23 year old woman with fears of fertility issues myself due to genetics, I found the experience extremely profound and impactful on a personal level. It was awesome to go from the NEWBIE group to this session whereby a lot of the skills we were learning individually were incorporated sequentially into the session. Thank you to everyone!! I liked seeing david and jill go through the entire team model. I liked the pointing out of the Emotional Reasoning distortion and even using the straight forward technique. Excellent! I really liked seeing an entire session completed in one sitting. A very beautiful night. I really felt for Veena and what she is going through, and it was great to see her recovery. David and Jill were empathic and so knowledgeable. The humor in dark moments. the tears from time to time It was exciting to see how as Veena shed the self-blame, simultaneously she was able to see the people in her life as the caring, kind people she knows them to be--and no longer to feel afraid that they would reject her. Accepting herself allowed her to see others as accepting, and not critical. What training could be better than watching David and Jill tag TEAM thru the model! Thanks to Veena's willingness to be vulnerable and her bravery doing this personal work and inviting us all into her world and her pain. It felt like we were all a web of love and support surrounding her and a privilege to get to know her. It was extraordinarily rich and illuminating. I loved everything: the incredible empathy Jill and David demonstrated and how things were turned around for Veena. I was amazed that this was accomplished in such a short period of time; I always am when it comes to live work! I also loved knowing Veena more and seeing how wonderful of a person she is; I have so much admiration for her!!! Incredible empathy and 5 secrets from both Jill & David! So much warmth and love from the group. Seamless incorporation of the steps & methods. Please describe what you learned in today's group15 responses DML at it's best!!!! TEAM-CBT, done by skillful therapists, with open and vulnerable client, can be such a gift! I learned again how to go through the entire team-CBT process of crushing negative thoughts and helping clients to feel better. There were so many moments of subtle shifts by Jill. Each one of them were penny drop moments for me. . . Thank you both. That people have a lot of beautiful qualities. I felt I learnt anew the power of empathy and the importance of asking our clients specifically what caused the change. Thank you so much Veena. I got some therapy by proxy tonight. I felt myself take a kind of journey with you from fearful for you, and judgmental (of your aunties!) to warm and open and loving - by witnessing your transformation. A better understanding and appreciation of the entire team model and using that for a real life situation. More of the artfulness and symphony of the steps being followed with empathy being woven again and again throughout and bringing out the birth of what is really true about the self, mother, mother-in-law, and husband rather than the assumptions and self-deprecation. On how to get from T to M with E and A in the middle! I loved David's insight that this is what it means to be in a loving relationship--to hurt at times. So wonderful to get to watch Jill move through TEAM in her warm, empathic, brilliantly thoughtful way, with David interweaving his work of genius!!! So grateful to be part of this incredible community! Thanks so much! The importance of Thought Empathy and flexibility with using different techniques, as I tend to be quite rigid. For example, I love how David went right into EOV which I believe would work wonderfully with someone who knows TEAM well. It definitely did work for Veena. So very helpful to see TEAM in action in its entirety by the masters of TEAM CBT! Thank you for listening today! Veena, Rhonda, Jill, and David

The Invitation Step in Family Life: "Dad! Don't give me that psychology crap!" Today we are joined by our beloved Mike Christensen and his wonderful daughter, Caelyn, for a discussion of one of the humblest but most important and challenging tools in TEAM-CBT, the Invitation Step. We will focus on how this can be important in family life as well. Caelyn will be entering college in the fall, and plans to major in psychology, but she has already picked up a lot of TEAM-CBT from her dad. We'll tell you more about her at the end of the show notes. The invitation step is the bridge from the E = Empathy phase of TEAM-CBT to the A = Assessment of Resistance, but you don't issue an invitation until you get an “A” in Empathy from your patient. This generally takes about 25 minutes or so with a new patient if you empathize skillfully using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication. There are two types of Invitations: the Straightforward and the Paradoxical. The Straightforward Invitation is for reasonably cooperative and motivated individuals who are struggling with individual mood problems, like depression and anxiety, and it's fairly simple. You simply say something along these lines: Jim (or whatever the patient's name is), you've told me some pretty heartbreaking and painful problems you're confronting, including X, Y, and Z, and I'd love to help you change the way you've been thinking and feeling. I'm wondering if this might be a good time to roll up our sleeves and get to work, or if you need more time to talk and vent, because that's important and I don't want to jump in before you're ready. Typically, the person will say “I'm ready,” and you're all set to set the agenda for the session and reduce the patient's resistance to change using the many familiar TEAM-CBT techniques, like Miracle Cure Question, Magic Button, Positive Reframing, Magic Dial, and more. The Paradoxical Invitation is for patients who seem unmotivated or even oppositional, and is intended for patients who are struggling with Relationship Problems or Habits and Addictions. Unlike the Straightforward Invitation, your assumption is that the patient probably is NOT asking for help, but just wants to vent, so you might say something along these lines: Sarah (or whatever the patient's name is), you've told me some pretty upsetting things about your conflict with your sister ever since you were young. You say she constantly criticizes you and says things that aren't really true, and that you've tried everything, but nothing works. For example, she insists that you look down on her because you have a PhD, and she didn't graduate from college, and when you tell her that's not true she just gets enraged. I can understand how frustrating that must be for you. I've got some really cool tools that might help you turn things around and develop a more loving relationship with her, and I think you'd really learn these tools quickly because you're clearly very smart, but I'm not hearing that you're asking for that. I'm thinking that you mainly wanted to let me know how difficult and impossible she is. Am I reading you right? I'd love to work with you on your relationship, but would totally understand if that isn't what you're looking for. So, in the Paradoxical Invitation, you're asking the patient to put their cards on the table and acknowledge that they're NOT looking for help. This prevents a power struggle and you can ask them if there's something they DO want help with. At the start of today's podcast, Mike pointed out that the Invitation Step is not only important in therapy, but in family life as well. For example, a lot of parents ask him, “How do I help my teen?” Well, the first answer is to stop trying to help and use the Five Secrets of Effective Communication to listen and understand where your teen is coming from. This is actually hard to do, because so many parents struggle with the compulsion to throw “help” at their kids, and this usually just creates a lot of tension. At the same time, Mike emphasizes that many parents ask, “Well, what do I do when I'm doing empathizing?” Mike says, “That's the time to issue your invitation. If I don't do that, Caelyn gets irritated and says, “Don't' give me that psychology crap!” If I jump in and try to help or give advice (which is what all parents do almost all of the time) it just ends up in a power struggle. Mike sometimes asks this question: “Did you just want to get that off your chest? What do you want going forward?” Mike and Caelyn did some role-playing to illustrate how this is done, including bad parent technique and excellent parent technique. Caelyn described a disturbing interaction with an angry customer where she works, and Mike first played the “bad dad” and then the “good dad”. Caelyn was delightfully wise and skillful and is heading for a great career in counseling or psychology. For more on this topic, you might want to listen to the podcast #164 on “How to help and how NOT to help!” LINK: How to HELP, and how NOT to Help! Rhonda and I love Mike, and Caelyn as well, and were touched by getting to take a look inside of a real and beautiful father-daughter relationship! Caelyn Bio Sketch Caelyn is a keen student of psychology and is starting her university career in the fall of 2023 She loves animals (her Cat Evie and horse Tulio top the list) and has studied positive reinforcement focused training with horses, under Adele Shaw, at The Willing Equine in Texas. She has read a number of Doctor Burns's books and  implements his CBT principles into her writing. Currently she works full time in customer service at a beauty salon and part time at a garden center where she gets regular opportunities to practice  her 5 secrets skills.  She is a big fan of Taylor Swift. Thank you, Mike and Caelyn, for an awesome interview today! Warmly, Rhonda and David

Featuring Matthew May, MD Today, Part 1. The Inner Bully Next week, Part 2. The Outer Bully There are two types of dialogues that can get us in trouble. The first is your “Inner Dialogue.” Your Inner Dialogue sometimes consists of negative thoughts and perceptions of yourself and the world, which are often dominated by the familiar cognitive distortions that trigger internal mood problems, like depression, anxiety, guilt, shame, inadequacy, loneliness, hopelessness, and more. Examples would be “I'm a failure because . . . “ or “I should be better than I am,” or “I'm really going to blow it when I give my talk, and a myriad of variations on these themes. Your Inner Dialogue often consists of mean-spirited things you say to yourself, much like the schoolyard bully who intimidates younger, weaker children. The only difference is that you are doing this to yourself, often without noticing or realizing  what that voice inside your brain is up to. When you challenge and crush these distorted perceptions, you can CHANGE the way you FEEL. Your Outer Dialogue consists of the things you say when you have with interactions with other people, and this can be especially important when you're dealing with others who are critical of you, or even threatening you with violence.  The strategies are quite different from the strategies you might use to challenge and defeat your Inner bully. Today, Rhonda, Matt and I will demonstrate various strategies for defeating the Inner Bully. Next week, in Part 2, we will demonstrate strategies for defeating the Outer Bully! Those strategies, in extreme cases, might even save your life one day, as you'll see next week. Rhonda starts the podcast by reading an awesome comment by certified TEAM-CBT therapist Dan Prine, who commented in a kindly way on podcast 334, where we interviewed Michael Yapko on hypnosis. Then we focus on multiple techniques to challenge two negative thoughts with a variety of strategies. The first negative thought is one we've seen on a number of occasions from women who had abortions as teenagers, and then experienced extreme depression and guilt later in life because of their thought, “I'm a bad person because I murdered my baby.” Using role-playing, we illustrated E = Empathy, using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, followed by A = the Assessment of Resistance, using the Magic Button, Positive Reframing, and Magic Dial, followed by M = Methods. Methods included Examine the Evidence, the Double Standard Technique, the Externalization of Voices (with Self-Defense, the Acceptance Paradox, and the CAT, or Counter-/Attack Technique, along with the Socratic Technique, and more. Then we focused on a thought familiar to Rhonda during moments of insecurity and self-doubt: “I don't matter!” This thought has plagued Rhonda since she was a child. She recalled her father often saying, “c"Who are you? You don't matter!" She told herself, “he's saying that because I don't matter.” Even the memory causes great pain and agitation. Of course, on some level, her father's comments never had any effect on her. Only your thoughts can cause you to feel one way or another. But this was devastating to Rhonda because she believed what her father said, which is understandable, and those thoughts caused the pain. We again illustrated many approaches to challenging this thought, but one of the techniques that was most helpful was the CAT. During the Externalization of Voices, the Positive Rhonda said this to her Inner Bully: “I'm not going to listen to you anymore! I've had enough of your BS!” Thank you for listening today. Remember to tune in to the Outer Bully next week! Rhonda, Matt, and David

Mariusz and his wife, Aleksandra, who is also a psychiatrist. Personal Work with Mariusz, Part 2 Mariusz and his wondaful family. Last week, you heard Part 1 of the personal work that Rhonda and I did with Dr. Mariusz Wirga, which included initial T = Testing and E = Empathy. Today, you'll hear the conclusion of our work, including the Assessment of Resistance, Methods, final Testing and follow-up. I am repeating this darling photo Mariusz's beloved cat, with his tail strait up, showing pride and love for Mariusz! Orangina at her favorite scratching post, with tail straight in the air to show pride and love for Mariusz!  A = Assessment of Resistance Once we empathized, we issued a Straightforward Invitation, asking Mariusz if he needed more time to talk and have us listen, or was ready to focus on the problem and see what we might do to help. Mariusz wanted to get to work, and said his goal for the session was to reduce his perfectionism, but when I asked the Magic Button question, he said he would not press it, even if the Magic Button would bring about a sudden and dramatic elimination of all of his negative thoughts and feelings. So, together, we listed the many positives and advantages of his negative thoughts and feelings, including: My anxiety keeps me on my toes. My feelings of inadequacy keep me humble. My hopelessness protects me from disappointment in the session with Rhonda and David isn't effective. My hopelessness and loneliness show how much I care. My hopelessness shows how helpless I feel to free myself from the many pressures and heavy weights I have been carrying for many years. My negative thoughts and feelings show how much I care for others, including my wife and kids. My suffering with depression and anxiety increases my compassion and understanding of my patients who are suffering and frightened. My anxiety protects me from danger. My anxiety is motivating. My self-criticisms show that I have high standards. My loneliness shows that I welcome intimacy and close relationships. My sadness shows that I am realistic and willing to look at the dark side of life. As you likely know, this process is called Positive Reframing, which is looking at the positive side of things that appear to be negative. Effective Positive Reframing isn't just listing positives from a list or book, like Feeling Great,  It's suddenly “seeing” something that you hadn't previously realized, and having an “ah-ha” moment. So, I asked Mariusz if he could see any additional positives in his fairly intense feelings of sadness and depression. To help him, I primed the pump a little bit by pointing out that sadness and depression are the feelings you have when you've lost something or someone your really cared about, or when you notice that something incredibly important is missing from you life. At this point, Mariusz became tearful and said he'd been very lonely as a child. Saying this gave him a “choking pain.” But he said he always turned away from his pain, and distracted himself, with work and activities. He said “I was an obedient child, and I was an only child. Both of my parents worked. “You say something is missing. I think what is missing is life I'm too busy. I'm always distracting myself. But I'm afraid that if I slow down, I won't be able to pay my bills. I believe that 95%. Then I'll be a burden. I'll lose the respect of my family.” At the end of the Positive Reframing, he set his goals for the session, which you can see if you click on his Daily Mood Log again. As you can see, he did not seem to want to reduce his feelings to super low levels, which was surprising to me. M = Methods Rhonda suggested we could do a Feared Fantasy and asked what he thoughts others would think about him, but never dare to say, if he did slow down and they judged him. They'd think: You're unreliable. We won't include you anymore. We hate you. We reject you. We'll tell the world about you. And his worst core fear was ending up in a homeless camp. We did role reversals using the Feared Fantasy Technique until he hit the ball out of the park, and did the same using the Externalization of Voices to defeat the negative thoughts on his Daily Mood Log. When you listen to the session, you'll see that there was a lot of tenderness at this point, and we discussed our love for cats, and what we can learn from them—the joys of being average and loved and loving your life. We gave Mariusz several homework assignments: Finish your Daily Mood Log in writing, completing the Positive Thoughts and make sure you've crushed all of you negative thoughts. Experiment with being open and vulnerable with loved ones (wife and family) as well as colleagues. Practice saying no to colleagues who make requests on your time, and cut down on activities that are not cost-effective. T = End of Session Testing You can find Mariusz final Daily Mood Log if you click HERE, and his end of Session Brief Mood Survey if you click HERE, and his Patient's Report of Therapy Session if you click HERE. David, add three links when you get documents. Rhonda and I wish to thank you, Mariusz, for a brave and touching session! You gave me the chance to process some of my own perfectionism, and to express my gratitude once again for the stray cats that my wife and I have adopted who have taught me so much about love, acceptance, and the simple things in life! Follow-Up I emailed Mariusz to find out what happened when he decided to become more open and vulnerable with wife, patients, and colleagues. He wrote back: Right before the Eureka moment, there is this state of dense confusion. So I was hesitant about where to go, but there was no visible path to choose yet. It feels like your brain is not getting it. It feels dense, also in an intellectual way. Like your brain stops working. It is quite dark and heavy. And then suddenly, the tears come and things become clear and light (in the sense of brightness and lifted weight). And that you all for listening today! Last month, January, was our biggest month so far, with more than 182 thousand downloads of Feeling Good Podcasts, and this is due, in large part, to your support of our efforts and sharing the show with friends and colleagues who might benefit from it! Thanks again, Mariusz! You are shooting into orbit! I'm SO proud of you and happy for you, and grateful to have had the chance to get to know you on a deeper and more human level, and to share a little of myself with you, too! Several days later, he sent me three addition al Negative Thoughts for his Daily Mood Log. They are touching, take a look at how he challenged and smashed them! Warmly, Rhonda, Mariusz, and David

Featured pic of Cody in one of the small group practice sessions in David's virtual Tuesday training group. Live Therapy with Cody, Part 1 of 2 I recently treated Cody, a young man wanting help with his fairly severe social anxiety since childhood, during one of our Tuesday evening Stanford training groups. My co-therapist for this session was Rhonda Barovsky, PsyD, the Feeling Good podcast co-host. The full session will be broadcasted in two parts, starting today and finishing next week. Part 1 T = Testing At the start of the session, Cody's depression score was only 6 out of 20, indicating minimal to mild depression, but his score on the loss of self-esteem was “a lot.” His anxiety score was 11 out of 20, indicating moderate anxiety, and his anger score was only 2, minimal. However his score on the Happiness test was only 11 out of 20, which is only moderately happy, indicating a lot of room for improvement. If you like, you can review his Brief Mood Survey at this LINK. We'll of course ask him to take this test at the end of today's session so we can see what, if impact, we made on his feelings. E = Empathy Cody described his shyness like this: “I've been shy for as long as I can remember and feel introverted. It started in middle school. I felt like I never fit in or connected with people very deeply. In middle school, you really want to fit in. “I wanted my friends to like me, and one day they all started to torment me. Our seats in school were assigned, so I couldn't get away from them. I cried at recess every day for months. Then, one day, they suddenly went back to being my friends again, and I never understood why. “When they were tormenting me was the most painful moment of my life. I felt like they were judging me. “I've worked on my own and I've gotten over 90% of my social anxiety. At first, I was afraid of answering the phone or even ordering a pizza, so I got a job where I was required to answer the phone and got over it. “Now I'd like to date, but this has been a problem for me. Also, when I'm treating someone, and this topic of social anxiety comes up, I get uncomfortable. I think if I could overcome the rest of my shyness, it would boost my confidence. “The podcast you and Rhonda did with Cai on Rejection Practice (LINK) inspired me tremendously, and I managed to do one Rejection Practice. By now I'm chickening out again. I go to the mall determined to do it, but I just keep putting it off. Asking women to reject me seems incredibly frightening, and I'm afraid people will judge me or see me as a predator. I love in a small town, and most people know each other. “When I was thinking about the session all day today, I felt nervous and my stomach tightened up. Cody brought a partially completed Daily Mood Log to the session, which you can review at this LINK. As you can see, the Upsetting Event was thoughts of approaching someone at the mall for Rejection Practice. His negative feelings included the entire anxiety cluster, shame, the entire inadequacy cluster, unwanted, humiliated, embarrassed, the entire hopelessness cluster, frustrated, annoyed, and anger with himself. These feelings ranged from a low of 35% for shame to a high of 100% for foolish and humiliated and 90% for the hopelessness cluster. And as you can see, many of his negative thoughts focused on the theme of being judged by others who might see him and think he was strange, or a disrespectful jerk, and so on. He was also convinced that women would be annoyed by him, and that the word would spread so that he'd lose the respect of people he cared about. A = Assessment of Resistance Cody's goal for the session was to feel motivated to do the Rejection Practice he'd been avoiding, and to get rid of the negative thoughts that were holding him back. He said he'd be reluctant, though, to press the Magic Button and make all of his negative thoughts and feelings disappear, so we listed what his fears might actually say about him and his core values that was positive and awesome. Here's the list we came up with: Positives My anxiety My anxiety shows that I care about peoples' comfort. My anxiety protects me from rejection or doing something foolish. My fears of being seen as a predator show that I want to fit in with the social norms and not be weird or threatening to women. My fears show that I want to be respectful towards women. My fears of being judged show that I care about friends and family. My anxiety shows that I care about my reputation. My feelings of inadequacy show that I'm aware that I have things I want to work on. Those feelings also show that I'm humble. My feelings show that I really care about connecting with others, which is one of the most important things in life! My negative thoughts and feelings motivate me to work hard on changing. They also show that I have high standards. My hopelessness shows that I've tried to do Rejection Practice six times and have always chickened out. So I'm being realistic. My hopelessness also protects me from getting my hopes up and then being disappointed. My unhappiness gives me greater compassion for my clients. My anger energizes me and motivates to do something new. Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion of the live work with Cody! David and Rhonda

Warum dauern Beziehungskrisen so lange und welchen Magic Button musst du drücken, damit du ganz schnell heraus kommst? Vielen Menschen - auch den Menschen die Teil unseres Coachingprogrammes sind - dauert es viel zu lange bis eine Beziehungskrise überwunden ist und man den Partner bzw. die Partnerin wieder im Arm halten kann und einfach eine liebevolle und harmonische Beziehung führt. Es hat nicht nur einen Grund, warum es so lange dauert und es gibt mehrere Wege, wie du schneller zurück ins Beziehungsglück findest. In dieser Podcastepisode verraten wir dir, warum es sich so lange anfühlt und was du tun kannst um schneller wieder herauszukommen. Deine Beziehungsretter zeigen dir, wie du deine Beziehung rettest und zurück ins Beziehungsglück findest. Wir sind davon überzeugt, dass Beziehungen nicht so schnell ausgetauscht werden müssen und viele Scheidungen & Trennungen verhindert werden können. Ralf Hofmann & Felix Heller - die beiden Beziehungscoaches und Paartherapeuten - zeigen dir, wie du deine Beziehung rettest und in das Gefühl zurück kommst, dass du am Anfang der Beziehung hattest. Und wenn die Trennung schon vollzogen ist, helfen sie dir, deine/n EX zurück zu bekommen oder die Trennung so zu verarbeiten, dass du dich darauf freust jemand neues in dein Leben zu lassen. Wenn auch du wissen möchtest, wie du deine Beziehung rettest, deine/n EX zurück bekommst oder die Trennung verarbeiten kannst, dann melde dich bei uns für ein kostenloses Erstgespräch: https://www.beyondbreakup.de/termin?utm_source=podcast Mehr von Beyond Breakup: - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beyondbreakup_app - Facebookgruppe: https://www.facebook.com/groups/liebeskummerhilfe - Beyond Breakup App https://appstore.com/beyondbreakup - Workbook Soforthilfe bei Liebeskummer https://www.digistore24.com/product/449811

Welcome to a very special episode this episode is being released in celebration of me becoming a first time dad and having one less thing to worry about recording when she does arrive. So this episode is all about baby tech and baby photography and joining me is another expectant first time dad, Andrew O'Hara from Apple Insider.Bonus content and early episodes with chapter markers are available by supporting the podcast at www.patreon.com/ipadpros. Bonus content and early episodes are also now available in Apple Podcasts! Subscribe today to get instant access to iPad Possibilities, iPad Ponderings, and iPad Historia! New episodes of the bonus shows release the first week of every month. Show notes are available at www.iPadPros.net. Feedback is welcomed at iPadProsPodcast@gmail.com.Chapter Markers00:00:00: Opening00:01:47: Support the Podcast00:02:26: Andrew O'Hara00:05:31: Preparing the Way00:07:08: Cradlewise Crib00:08:36: Automations00:10:08: Magic Button?00:10:33: The Eve Button00:10:57: Wemo Stage Scene Controller00:11:45: Smart Shades00:12:15: Baby Monitoring00:12:25: Netamo Indoor Cam00:12:52: Nanit00:12:58: Owlet00:15:42: Mobile Monitoring?00:18:11: Apps!00:18:39: Mango Baby00:20:03: Willow Pump00:22:15: Audio00:24:26: Photo Strategy00:25:35: SFBags Tech Pocket00:25:54: MagSafe Clickr Grip00:26:09: Traditional Camera?00:26:22: Z700:26:31: Z600:26:44: ZFC00:27:01: iPhone capture00:27:42: Editing00:28:14: Darkroom00:29:15: Photos app00:29:39: Affinity Photo00:30:17: Shared Photo Library00:32:20: Sony EV Z1000:33:11: Lens00:35:22: 2x zoom00:36:57: Peak Design Tripod00:38:13: Anything else?00:42:33: HomeKit Insider00:42:47: Twitter - @Andrew_OSU00:42:59: Apple Insider00:43:33: Closing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, you will hear the the second half of the live therapy session that Dr. Jill Levitt and I did with Nazli, a young woman from Turkey, at our recent “David Burns Live” workshop on May 22, 2022. Nazli has been struggling with intense performance anxiety and generalized anxiety, and generously who volunteered to be a “patient.” Jill and I are very grateful for Nazli's courage in sharing herself so courageously with all of you, and hope you enjoy the session and learn from it. Last week, we played the first half of the therapy session, including the initial T =Testing and E = Empathy. Today, you will hear the exciting conclusion, including A = Assessment of Resistance and M = Methods, and final T = Testing. As a reminder, you can review the Daily Mood Log and Brief Mood Survey (BMS) that Nazli filled out at the start of the session. Part 2 of the Nazli Session: A = Assessment of Resistance and M =  Methods After a period of empathizing, Nazli gave Jill and David an A in Empathy, so we moved on to the Assessment of Resistance portion of the session. This often involves the following steps: Invitation Step Miracle Cure Question Magic Button Positive Reframing Pivot Question Magic Dial Jill issued a Straightforward Invitation, asking Nazli if she was ready to get down to work, or if she needed more time to vent. She said she was ready to go to work, so Jill asked what changes she was hoping for during the session. This is the so-called “Miracle Cure Question.” This helps to focus the session on something specific. Nazli said that her hope was to reduce or eliminate the negative thoughts and feelings that were making her clinical work so stressful. And like nearly everyone, she said she'd eagerly press the Magic Button. Then Jill and David pointed out that although we didn't have a Magic Button, we did have some powerful techniques that could help, but it might not be the best idea to use them. That's because there might be some positives hidden in her negative thoughts and feelings, and perhaps we should first take a look. David and Jill asked Nazli these three questions: 1. Given your circumstances, why might this negative thought or feeling be totally appropriate and understandable? 2. What are some benefits, or advantages of this negative thought or feeling? 3. What does this negative thought or feeling show about you and your core values that's positive, beautiful, or even awesome? This technique is called Positive Reframing. The goal of Positive Reframing is to reduce the patient's subconscious resistance to change, along with their feelings of shame about their symptoms.. Paradoxically, the moment patients see the beautiful and awesome things about their negative thoughts and feelings, their resistance to change typically disappears. Positive Reframing is one of the unique features of TEAM-CBT and it opens the door to the possibility of rapid change. As an exercise, see if you can find some positives in five of Nazli's feelings, Anxiety Ashamed, bad Inadequate Hopeless Angry Please do this on paper, and NOT in your head, using the blank Positive Reframing Tool you'll find at the end of the Daily Mood Log. Getting it “right” isn't important. What is important is trying. This will get your brain circuits firing in a new way. Then, when you see the work that we did with Nazli, you might have your own “ah-ha” moment, as well as a powerful new skill that may be helpful to you as well. Okay. Did you do that yet, or do you plan to look at the answer without doing the exercise? Oh! I see! You're planning to look at the answer. If you want to learn at a deep level, whether you're a therapist or lay person, do the exercise first! It may be challenging at first, but it will fire up your brain circuits, so when you look at the answer, you'll suddenly have a new and deeper understanding of Positive Reframing. When you're done, you can check this link to see the work that Jill and I did with Nazli. But either way, I'm grateful that you're listening to these podcasts and reading the show notes! If you click on this link, you can find the Emotions table from Nazli's Daily Mood Log showing her goals for each negative feeling after we use the Magic Dial. After we finished the Magic Dial, we went on to the M = Methods portion of the TEAM-CBT session, and helped Nazli challenge some of her negative thoughts using a variety of techniques including Explain the Distortions, the Externalization of Voices, Examine the Evidence, the Acceptance Paradox, and more. One of the thoughts she wanted to work on first was this one: “If I don't fix this patient or make him/her satisfied, then she/he will judge me and think poorly about me.” Together with Nazli, we identified a number of distortions in this thought, including a couple more that popped into my mind while doing the show notes: Fortune-Telling: Making a negative prediction without good evidence. Mind-Reading: Assuming that I know how my patients are thinking. Hidden Should Statement: Telling myself I should be doing better. Mental Filtering: Selectively noticing the times sessions have not gone well. Discounting the Positive: Overlooking the positive feedback I typically get from patients and supervisors. Magnification and Minimization: Magnifying the importance or “awfulness” of negative feedback from patients, and overlooking the potential value of processing their negative and positive feedback with them at the next session. Emotional Reasoning: Thinking that my feelings of inadequacy and anxiety mean that I really am screwing up with patients Self-Blame: Beating up on myself constantly when I'm seeing patients. Nazli's belief in this thought went down from 80% to the range of 10% - 20%, since there was some truth in the thought. Sometimes you'll want to smash a negative thought, so your belief in it goes all the way to zero. Sometimes, it's okay just to reduce your belief in a thought substantially, but not all the way to zero. We also encouraged Nazli to begin using the Brief Mood Survey (BMS) and Patient's Evaluation of Therapy Session (EOTS) with every patient at every session so she can get immediate and accurate feedback of how she's doing, and so she can fine-tune her therapeutic strategies based on this information. This practice is vastly more effective than Mind-Reading, since therapists' perceptions of how patients feel tend to be wildly inaccurate most of the time. If you are a therapist, T = Testing at start and end of every  is a vitally important key to personal and professional growth, although it takes courage because sometimes—or even often—you will have to confront some information that may threaten your feelings of pride! You can see Nazli's final ratings of her feelings on the Emotions table her Daily Mood Log at the end of the session. Since the changes in all of her negative feelings were dramatic, we asked Nazli two questions: 1. Are these ratings valid, or are you just trying to please David and Jill? 2. If so, what were the effective ingredients of your session. What, more than anything else, accounted for the significant and rapid changes you experienced? You will hear how she answered these vitally important questions on the podcast, and you can see Nazli's BMS and EOTS after her session if you click the link. Thanks for tuning in last week and today! Once again, Rhonda, Jill and I want to thank our wonderful and courageous Nazli from the bottom of our hearts! We hope you enjoyed this session, and the chance to look behind closed doors to see how psychotherapy actually works in a real session with a real human being who, like nearly all of us, struggles at times with that ancient belief that “I'm just not good enough!” In fact, we're all, in many ways, “not good enough,” and will probably never be “good enough.” But that is never the cause of our problems, especially our lack of self-esteem. Do you know what the actual cause is? Do you know what the solution is? Take your best shot, make a guess, and then you can click on this link. Thanks! Rhonda, Jill, Nazli, and David

Part 2: Paine in Morning -- Thursday -- Massive Intel, Just Press the Magic Button and Away We Go ...  Sign up for Hot Wire on Paine.tv and Get the Intel that's Too Hot For Anywhere Else on Paine.tv Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Part 1: Paine in Morning -- Thursday -- Massive Intel, Just Press the Magic Button and Away We Go ...  Sign up for Hot Wire on Paine.tv and Get the Intel that's Too Hot For Anywhere Else on Paine.tv Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Part 5: Paine in Morning -- Thursday -- Massive Intel, Just Press the Magic Button and Away We Go ...  Sign up for Hot Wire on Paine.tv and Get the Intel that's Too Hot For Anywhere Else on Paine.tv Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Podcast 290: A Case of Social Anxiety: Featuring David with Dr. Stirling Moorey (Part 2 of 2) Last week, you heard the first part of this live therapy session with Anita, a woman struggling with severe social anxiety. David and Dr. Stirling Moorey, from London, are co-therapists. Last week included the T = Testing and E = Empathy portions of the session. Today you will hear the A = Assessment of Resistance, M = Methods, along with end of session Testing and follow-up. A = Assessment of Resistance David asked Anita if she was ready to roll up her sleeves and get to work, or if she needed more time to talk and be listened to and supported. Because she was eager to get to work, David asked the “Miracle Cure Question:” He said, “What would happen in today's session if it went really great and knocked your socks off? She said that her negative feelings and self-critical thoughts would be greatly diminished. David asked the Magic Button Question, and she said she'd press it for sure! David said he had no Magic Button, but did have some powerful techniques that could be super helpful, but was reluctant to use them. Anita was puzzled, and this led to Positive Reframing. He encouraged Anita to ask the three questions about each Negative Thought and feeling on her Daily Mood Logs: Why might this thought or feeling be perfectly appropriate, given your circumstances? What are some advantages, or benefits, of this negative thought or feeling? What does this negative thought or feeling show about your core values that's positive, beautiful, or even awesome? Although puzzling at first, Anita soon got into the swing of it and came up with the following list of Positives. If I tell myself “I have nothing to say” in a group, I'll listen more and learn more. I won't risk speaking and making a fool of myself. So my social anxiety is really a source of self-protection, or even a form of self-love. My self-criticisms show I have high standards. My high standards motivate me to work hard and do my best. My self-doubt shows that I'm humble. My concerns about being judged show that I care for the people in the group and want to have positive relationships with them. Shows I'm not pushy, dominating, or arrogant. When I tell myself that “They are all better than me,” it shows that I have room to learn from all the people who are ahead of me. This shows I want to grow and do better. This shows I'm honest and realistic about my limits and flaws. This shows I'm accountable. This gives me “vicarious joy” in the accomplishments of others, a Buddhist concept. This thought shows that I can appreciate the gifts of others, which is a gift to them. When I tell myself, “I wasted a year,” it shows that I value hard work, learning, and dong a good job. It shows that I value what other people think, and take their criticisms seriously. It shows that I want to be seen for who I am! David pointed out that there were many positives on the list, and if we had time many more could be added, but asked Anita if the positives were: Real? Important? Powerful? She gave enthusiastic “yes” answers to all three questions, and then david asked the Pivot Question: Why in the world would you want to press that Magic button, because if you do all these positives will go down the drain, right along with you negative thoughts and feelings Anita suddenly didn't want to press the Magic Button, but agree to use the Magic Dial and lower her goals for each negative feeling, which you can see if you click here. This concluded this part of the session, which brought us to the M of TEAM. M = Methods During the Methods portion of the session, David and Stirling used a number of techniques, including: Identify the Distortions Explain the Distortions Straightforward Technique Externalization of Voices with Self-Defense, the Acceptance Paradox, and the CAT (Counter-Attack Technique) And more, using frequent role reversal until she got to “huge” wins, which didn't take long. Stirling also asked gave Anita how she might test if her fears about the way others saw her were accurate, and they devised some homework to do in the Wednesday training group to find out if other group members had experienced similar doubts about their abilities as therapists. This would involve using: Self-Disclosure - Survey Technique “I stubbornly refused” Technique You can see her final Daily Mood Log if you click here (LINK). We also jumped in and tried to work with Anita's conflict with her supervisor, but ran out of time and might pick up that thread again in a future session if she is interested. I might add that both David and Stirling also used Self-Disclosure and Story-Telling during the session, as well as some spontaneous humor, which can also be viewed as a valuable treatment method, but one that is hard to explain or teach. You can see Anita's final Daily Mood Log with the outcomes of all of her negative feelings. As you can see, she exceeded her goals in every category, which is not unusual, and was feeling pretty terrific! She had the homework assignment to listen to the recording of the session and complete her DML, so you will only see a couple of the Positive Thoughts listed. Final T = Testing You can see Anita's final BMS here, and her  Evaluation of therapy Session here  As you can see, there were dramatic reductions in depression and anxiety, but only a modest boost in happiness. It would be interesting to see if the happiness goes up further after her "behavioral experiment" at Wednesday's tuesday group. Her scores on the Empathy and Helpfulness scales were perfect. Follow-up This is the email we received from Anita three days later, right after her "behavioral experiment" in Rhonda's Wednesday TEAM-CBT training group:: Hi Stirling, Rhonda, and David, I did the survey question in Rhonda's Wednesday training group. Here's what I said: “I am so nervous right now. I sometimes feel like I do not have much to say and so I stay silent in the group. I get anxious and think you all are so far ahead of me in your skills, so I miss out on sharing. I was wondering if any of you sometimes feel the same way?” So many hands shot, so many affirmed my question and thanked me for asking because they get anxious too. I was a little overwhelmed. Loved the experience! Rhonda I hope I did not take too much time.  Anita Rhonda, Stirling, Anita, and David

Magic Button? We don't know her. This is our second episode of DEAR NON-CREATIVE and we dive into the need for understanding processes and time with creatives. #design #mentalhealth #art #creative #artprocess #artistsworth #dearnoncreative

Part 6 - Paine in the Morning - FRI - FEB 11 -- Maria is Back and There's Simply Too Much Intel to List. Episode is Loaded with Gems. Press the Magic Button and Find Out What's Behind This Majestic Wall of Prizes. Everyone is a Winner! Sign up for Hot Wire on Paine.tv and Get the Intel that's Too Hot For Anywhere Else Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Part 5 - Paine in the Morning - FRI - FEB 11 -- Maria is Back and There's Simply Too Much Intel to List. Episode is Loaded with Gems. Press the Magic Button and Find Out What's Behind This Majestic Wall of Prizes. Everyone is a Winner! Sign up for Hot Wire on Paine.tv and Get the Intel that's Too Hot For Anywhere Else Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Part 4 - Paine in the Morning - FRI - FEB 11 -- Maria is Back and There's Simply Too Much Intel to List. Episode is Loaded with Gems. Press the Magic Button and Find Out What's Behind This Majestic Wall of Prizes. Everyone is a Winner! Sign up for Hot Wire on Paine.tv and Get the Intel that's Too Hot For Anywhere Else Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Part 2 - Paine in the Morning - FRI - FEB 11 -- Maria is Back and There's Simply Too Much Intel to List. Episode is Loaded with Gems. Press the Magic Button and Find Out What's Behind This Majestic Wall of Prizes. Everyone is a Winner! Sign up for Hot Wire on Paine.tv and Get the Intel that's Too Hot For Anywhere Else Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Part 3 - Paine in the Morning - FRI - FEB 11 -- Maria is Back and There's Simply Too Much Intel to List. Episode is Loaded with Gems. Press the Magic Button and Find Out What's Behind This Majestic Wall of Prizes. Everyone is a Winner! Sign up for Hot Wire on Paine.tv and Get the Intel that's Too Hot For Anywhere Else Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Part 1 - Paine in the Morning - FRI - FEB 11 -- Maria is Back and There's Simply Too Much Intel to List. Episode is Loaded with Gems. Press the Magic Button and Find Out What's Behind This Majestic Wall of Prizes. Everyone is a Winner! Sign up for Hot Wire on Paine.tv and Get the Intel that's Too Hot For Anywhere Else Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you know that you have a magic button within yourself? What if you discovered your magic button and use it for your benefit to live a content life, overwrite old programs and rewrite our subconscious programs? You can support your immune system and overall well-being, release weight, increase the quality of your sleep. Natural changes occur rapidly. Stop being on auto-pilot, unblock yourself, and allow your mind to be supportive genie it was meant to be. Choose your natural body-mind connection and unleash your magic button. Enjoy! We appreciate your support so we can keep our episodes free of advertisement! You can support us here: https://baldandblonde.live/support-us Also, check out our Empowering Audio Programs™ and join thousands of others achieving outstanding results! https://baldandblonde.live/empower-audios For more resources visit our website: https://baldandblonde.live Leave a review on Apple Podcasts here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bald-and-blonde/id1528121193 Leave a review on Podchaser for Android users here: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/bald-and-blonde-1401497 Join our Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dreamlifecreatorsbaldwarrior Follow us on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/baldandblonde.live/ Empowering Audio Programs™ here: https://baldandblonde.live/empower-audios --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfrecoding/support

A Country Doctor, Part 2 of 2 A = Assessment of Resistance At the end of the moving and tearful empathy phase, we asked Jillian about her goals for the session, which included the ability to enjoy my work to give away all of my certificates set limits with my patients feel happy with what I do not have to fear my work anymore! After Jillian said she would be willing to press the Magic Button to achieve all these goals instantly if we had one, we suggested Positive Reframing first. to see what might be lost of she suddenly achieved all these goals. You can creview the Positive Reframing that we did together. Here's Jillian's Emotions table at the end of Positive Reframing, showing her goals for each emotion when we used the Magic Dial. The idea is to dial each feeling down to a lower level that would reduce your suffering while still allowing you to preserve all the awesome things about you!   Emotions % Now % Goal % After Emotions % Now % Goal % After Sad, blue, down, unhappy 80 15   Embarrassed, foolish, humiliated, self-conscious 50 10   Anxious, nervous 90 20   Hopeless, discouraged, pessimistic, despairing 100 0   Bad 70 0   Frustrated, stuck, thwarted, defeated 90 5   Inferior, inadequate, incompetent 95 5   Angry, mad, resentful, annoyed, irritated, upset, furious 100 10     Jillian said that the Positive Reframing really opened her up, especially when we read the list of positives out loud. It kind of shocked her in a good way so see that her negative feelings were not really problems, defects, or symptoms of one or more “mental disorders,” but the expression of what was most beautiful and awesome about her as a human being, and as a physician. This Positive Reframing is one of the unique aspects of TEAM-CBT. Although we are encouraging the patient to keep the symptoms, rather than pressing the Magic Button that makes them disappear, it paradoxically eliminates or drastically reduces the resistance to change, and opens the door to the possibility of ultra-rapid recovery. M = Methods We asked Jillian what Negative Thought she wanted to work on first, and she chose #9: “I'm not having a big enough impact.” She believed this thought 100%. First, we asked Jillian to identify and explain the cognitive distortions in this thought, and she focused on these: Should Statement; Self-Blame, All-or-Nothing Thinking, Mental Filtering, and Discounting the Positive. In retrospect, I think I spotted two additional distortions: Emotional Reading (I feel I'm not having a positive impact, so I must not be having a positive impact) and Mind-Reading (my patients expect me to have the answers to all their problems and judge me when I don't have all the answers.) Then we challenged the Negative Thought, and Jillian she was able, with a little help and a role reversal, to crush it, as you can see here. Usually, crushing one Negative Thought is about all you really have to do, because once the patient blows one Negative Thought out of the water, there is usually a kind of “cognitive click,” and the brain suddenly changes, and all the positive circuits suddenly get fired up. It's amazing to behold, and you will hear it for yourself! The damn did suddenly break, and Jillian could clobber the rest of her Negative Thoughts fairly easily, using a combination of Self-Defense, Self-Acceptance, and a lot of the CAT technique. She suddenly appeared to be a radically and delightfully different person during the Externalization of Voices. You can see her final Daily Mood Log here. You can see her feelings on the Emotions table at the end of the session. Emotions % Now % Goal % After Emotions % Now % Goal % After Sad, blue, down, unhappy 80 15 0 Embarrassed, foolish, humiliated, self-conscious 50 10 0 Anxious, nervous 90 20 0 Hopeless, discouraged, pessimistic, despairing 100 0 0 Bad 70 0 0 Frustrated, stuck, thwarted, defeated 90 5 0 Inferior, inadequate, incompetent 95 5 0 Angry, mad, resentful, annoyed, irritated, upset, furious 100 10 0 Jillian's scores on my Happiness Test on the Brief Mood Survey also soared to 100% and her ratings of Jill and David on Empathy and Helpfulness tests were also perfect. After the workshop, Jillian sent this email. Hi Jill and David, As I drove home tonight from my office, I actually felt like my heart had been opened. My chest didn't feel as tight and locked-up like it normally does. It felt so relaxed. I put my baseball cap on, rolled the windows down, and listened to 90's country music (my favorite) on my drive and sang loudly. I have spent the last hour checking my new superpowers. There have been negative thoughts, but telling them to "shut the heck up. I am not listening to you" has been quite liberating. I even was greeted by my 4 year old when I got out of the car. I knelt down and hugged her without the worry of being a rotten mom, but rather one of feeling like I am the perfect mom for her, flaws and all. Thank you for this opportunity. I took a chance to email you in the first place after listening to a podcast weeks ago. I thought there would be no chance in heck that I would be selected. I am glad I had this remarkable opportunity and grateful to have worked with both of you. Much love and admiration, Jillian I hope you enjoy it as much as we did. Again, a big hug and thanks to the star or our podcast, Dr. Jillian Scherer who gave us all an incredible gift today! Thanks for listening. I hope you learned a ton and were moved emotionally. Write and let us know what you think! Jillian and Jill joined Rhonda and me for a two plus month follow-up at the end of the recording of part 2. She is still glowing and doing great, and emphasized the three main experiences that led to her amazing breakthrough: 1. When we did the Downward Arrow, she discovered that she had an underlying belief that she "should" or "must" make some kind of enormous, amazing contribution through her clinical work. Letting go of that internal demand was an enormous relief. I (David) think of this as one of the four "Great Deaths" of the "self," or "ego." 2. Learning to talk back to the relentless inner chatter that is always saying, "you're not good enough," using the CAT (Counter Attack Technique.) 3. Reframing the negative thoughts and feelings, and seeing the inner beauty in her suffering. David again emphasized that TEAM-CBT is not just about improvement, or feeling less depressed, but magic, and enlightenment. Jill summarized her new 11-hour home study course in TEAM-CBT with video and audio illustrating and teaching the four components of TEAM-CBT, Testing, Empathy, Assessment of Resistance, and Methods. This class sells for $187 and is suitable for therapists as well as the general public, and offers continuing education credit as well as certification credits in TEAM-CBT. I (David) believe that Jill is one of the truly great psychotherapy teachers, and urge you to check it out if you'd like to hear more! Rhonda, Jill, Jillian, and David

In this week's episode I talk about the magic button to reset your habits. Find out which techniques help you get on track when creating a new routine.

A Country Doctor, Part 1 of 2: "Nothing I do makes a difference!" This is the first of two podcasts on one of the live therapy demonstrations that Dr. Jill Levitt and I did at our psychotherapy workshop on Sunday, May 16th, 2021. I think you will find the session interesting and incredibly inspiring! Our patient is a physician in a small town in the mid-west. I want to thank Dr. Scherer for her tremendous courage in sharing this very personal experience with all of us. Dr. Levitt practices at the Feeling Good Institute in Mountain View, California, where she also serves as Director of Clinical Training. She also teaches at our weekly TEAM-CBT training group as Stanford. I am thrilled to share the audio of Jillian's live session as a two-part podcast, since only mental health professionals are allowed to attend the workshops sponsored by the Feeling Good Institute. Many non-therapists were eager to attend, and disappointed when they learned that only shrinks could attend. But this gives all of you the chance to hear what you missed, and I think you will NOT be disappointed! When Jill and I asked for volunteers for the live demonstrations in the workshop, Jillian was the first to respond with an offer to volunteer. This was her email, describing her situation.. Hi Dr. Burns, I am writing to you offering to be a volunteer for the live demonstrations in the workshop on 5/16, if you need one. I am learning TEAM CBT, and have been enjoying it personally as well as trying to do more of it professionally. I am a family medicine physician, but I have my own direct primary care clinic. This means that I can spend 1-2 hours with a patient if needed. I have been slowly offering this to patients who want to do the work to improve their mood or anxiety. As for why I am writing, my anxiety and need to please people is huge and disruptive to my enjoyment of life. I keep striving and achieving things likely to get the attention of others. I fear not knowing the answer and making a mistake with my patients. This had caused me to develop anxiety and insomnia at my last job. I sought counseling and physician coaching, but ultimately I wound up leaving that job, moving to another state [due to intense stress and demands of that job], and starting my own practice. My current practice is going well, but I am annoyed when patients come in or call with questions I don't know the answer to. I constantly worry that I will not be able to figure something out by myself and that the patients will leave me. In addition, I continually strive for [yet another] training certificate. As you know, I did medical school, residency, and fellowship, but I also have a lactation consultant certificate, training in lifestyle medicine, and now a Level 1 TEAM-CBT certificate with enough hours for Level 2, and most recently I started a 3-year program to become a pastor for our church. And I realize that I will not have the time to sustain all of these. It is as if I love the journey of getting the certificates, but I am not great at implementing them, so I move on to something else. As for the rest of life, I have a great life, but I am melancholy most of the time. My husband is terrific, sensitive, understanding, loving, and yet, I am constantly reading marriage books because I think it could be better. My 2 children, aged 8 and 4, are smart and funny, but I live constantly thinking I am going to screw them up and so I read even more parenting books. My family medicine practice is thriving and offers me part-time work at great pay with autonomy, yet I dread Monday mornings. Overall, my life should be an A+ and enjoyable, but somehow I make it seem like everything is going wrong all the time. I have sought counseling and even TEAM-CBT earlier this year via teletherapy from FGI. I continue to do a Daily Mood Log about 3-4 times a week. I feel like we got so far, but not to complete recovery. My FGI therapist was the eighth therapist I have been to, but the others were mainly talk therapists. I just thought I would reach out in the hope that maybe you need a volunteer, and maybe I would have the opportunity to work with you live. It would be nice if my anxiety and faulty core beliefs didn't steal my joy. Sincerely, Jillian As you can see, Jillian is an incredibly dedicated physician, but feels like she is never doing enough for her patients. At the start of her session, she described her incredibly stressful previous job, when she was often on call for 72 hours at a time, often going long hours without sleep. She said, “I used to walk to work, hoping I'd get hit by a car.” Although, as you saw in her email, she finally quit, and set up her own practice in another state, she continued to struggle with depression and the belief that she wasn't doing enough. Her constant self-criticisms robbed her of happiness, in spite of the fact that she had a fabulous practice, superb medical and human skills, and a wonderful husband and children. Her unhappiness confirms what Epictetus taught us nearly 2,000 years ago: we are upset, not by things, or events, but by our views of them. In this case, the facts of Jillian's life are all stellar. In fact, she rates her life and practice as A+. And yet, she was still lacking in the most important dimension: happiness and self-esteem. Because of her constant and intense feelings of insecurity, Jillian heroically pursued more and more specialty trainings and certifications, thinking that eventually she would develop feelings of competence, confidence, and happiness. She even enrolled in a three-year training program to become a minister, in addition to enrolling in the certification and training program for TEAM-CBT, and more. But nothing was ever enough. That's because, as the sages have taught through the ages, the answer is within. No amount of expertise or accomplishments will ever solve Jillian's problem. Jillian's life was perhaps like trying to get the elusive brass ring on the Merry Go Round, except her ride was far from merry. She told us that she sometimes had fantasies of escaping to a remote tropical island. Perhaps you, too, have sometimes felt like you're not good enough, or that you or your accomplishments are just not good enough. Let us know what you think about the answer that Jillian found in front of a live audience that day, and whether it might apply to you as well. In today's podcast, you will hear the first portion of her session (T = Testing and E = Empathy), and next week you will hear the fantastic conclusion (A = Assessment of Resistance) and M = Methods.) T = Testing To get started, take a look at the Daily Mood Log that Jillian shared with us at the start of her session. As you can see, Jillian's negative feelings were all intense. You would not have known how powerful her suffering was if you had met her in her daily life. In person, she comes across as you might expect from her email: exceptionally warm, thoughtful, human, conscientious and likeable. That's one of the really important reasons for Testing. You can see exactly what you're dealing with, in terms of the type and severity of negative feelings. In addition, we'll ask Jillian to rate her feelings again at the end of the session. That way, we'll know how effective—or ineffective—the session was. This information can sometimes be humbling, but it is always illuminating. Neither Jill nor I could conceive of doing therapy without the Testing! At the end, we'll also ask her to rate us on Empathy, Helpfulness and other dimensions using exceptionally sensitive scales that can highlight even the smallest therapeutic errors that the therapist would not otherwise be aware of. E = Empathy During the empathy phase of the session, Jill and I empathized while Jillian described her struggles with negative feelings and a lack of happiness and self-confidence. During the empathy portion, I did the downward arrow technique to learn more about Jillian's fears and Self-Defeating Beliefs. The goal was not to change Jillian, but simply to understand the root of her suffering at a deeper level. We started with the thought, “I should know how to fix people who come to me with a problem like depression, anxiety, headaches, or headaches, or even the lack of money to pay for the medications I prescribe.” Here's how the Downward Arrow dialogue evolved: David: And if you sometimes do not have the solution for your patients, what does that mean to you? Why is that upsetting to you? Jillian: Then people will be disappointed and leave me. David: And then what? What are you the most afraid of? Jillian: My practice will deteriorate. David: And then? Jillian: My patients will think I'm a failure. David: What would happen then? What are you the most afraid of? Jillian: Then the whole town will think I'm a failure. David: Of course, no one would want something like that to happen, but we might all experience it differently? What would that mean to you if the whole town thought you were a failure? Why would that be upsetting to you? Jillian: That would mean I'm a loser. David: And if that were true, what would that mean to you? Jillian: That would mean that I don't mean anything to anybody. David: And then? What would happen if you didn't mean anything to anybody? Jillian: Then there'd be no point in life. That was pretty much the bottom of the barrel. The purpose of the Downward Arrow Technique is to uncover the Self-Defeating Beliefs at the root of your suffering. Once you've generated your Downward Arrow list, all you have to do is review it, and then look at my list of 23 Common Self-Defeating Beliefs and circle all the ones that seem to fit. As an exercise, you might want to take a look at the list and see how many you can find before you see the ones that Jillian found! Here's Jillian's list: Perfectionism Perceived Perfectionism Achievement Addiction Approval Addiction Fear of Rejection Pleasing Others (Submissiveness) Worthlessness Spotlight Fallacy Brushfire Fallacy Superwoman A Country Doctor, Part 2 of 2 A = Assessment of Resistance At the end of the moving and tearful empathy phase, we asked Jillian about her goals for the session, which included the ability to enjoy my work to give away all of my certificates set limits with my patients feel happy with what I do not have to fear my work anymore! After Jillian said she would be willing to press the Magic Button to achieve all these goals instantly if we had one, we suggested Positive Reframing first. to see what might be lost of she suddenly achieved all these goals. You can creview the Positive Reframing that we did together. Here's Jillian's Emotions table at the end of Positive Reframing, showing her goals for each emotion when we used the Magic Dial. The idea is to dial each feeling down to a lower level that would reduce your suffering while still allowing you to preserve all the awesome things about you!   Emotions % Now % Goal % After Emotions % Now % Goal % After Sad, blue, down, unhappy 80 15   Embarrassed, foolish, humiliated, self-conscious 50 10   Anxious, nervous 90 20   Hopeless, discouraged, pessimistic, despairing 100 0   Bad 70 0   Frustrated, stuck, thwarted, defeated 90 5   Inferior, inadequate, incompetent 95 5   Angry, mad, resentful, annoyed, irritated, upset, furious 100 10     Jillian said that the Positive Reframing really opened her up, especially when we read the list of positives out loud. It kind of shocked her in a good way so see that her negative feelings were not really problems, defects, or symptoms of one or more “mental disorders,” but the expression of what was most beautiful and awesome about her as a human being, and as a physician. This Positive Reframing is one of the unique aspects of TEAM-CBT. Although we are encouraging the patient to keep the symptoms, rather than pressing the Magic Button that makes them disappear, it paradoxically eliminates or drastically reduces the resistance to change, and opens the door to the possibility of ultra-rapid recovery. M = Methods We asked Jillian what Negative Thought she wanted to work on first, and she chose #9: “I'm not having a big enough impact.” She believed this thought 100%. First, we asked Jillian to identify and explain the cognitive distortions in this thought, and she focused on these: Should Statement; Self-Blame, All-or-Nothing Thinking, Mental Filtering, and Discounting the Positive. In retrospect, I think I spotted two additional distortions: Emotional Reading (I feel I'm not having a positive impact, so I must not be having a positive impact) and Mind-Reading (my patients expect me to have the answers to all their problems and judge me when I don't have all the answers.) Then we challenged the Negative Thought, and Jillian she was able, with a little help and a role reversal, to crush it, as you can see here. Usually, crushing one Negative Thought is about all you really have to do, because once the patient blows one Negative Thought out of the water, there is usually a kind of “cognitive click,” and the brain suddenly changes, and all the positive circuits suddenly get fired up. It's amazing to behold, and you will hear it for yourself! The dam did suddenly break, and Jillian could clobber the rest of her Negative Thoughts fairly easily, using a combination of Self-Defense, Self-Acceptance, and a lot of the CAT technique. She suddenly appeared to be a radically and delightfully different person during the Externalization of Voices. You can see her feelings on the Emotions table at the end of the session. Emotions % Now % Goal % After Emotions % Now % Goal % After Sad, blue, down, unhappy 80 15 0 Embarrassed, foolish, humiliated, self-conscious 50 10 0 Anxious, nervous 90 20 0 Hopeless, discouraged, pessimistic, despairing 100 0 0 Bad 70 0 0 Frustrated, stuck, thwarted, defeated 90 5 0 Inferior, inadequate, incompetent 95 5 0 Angry, mad, resentful, annoyed, irritated, upset, furious 100 10 0 Jillian's scores on my Happiness Test on the Brief Mood Survey also soared to 100% and her ratings of Jill and David on Empathy and Helpfulness tests were also perfect. After the workshop, Jillian sent this email. Hi Jill and David, As I drove home tonight from my office, I actually felt like my heart had been opened. My chest didn't feel as tight and locked-up like it normally does. It felt so relaxed. I put my baseball cap on, rolled the windows down, and listened to 90's country music (my favorite) on my drive and sang loudly. I have spent the last hour checking my new superpowers. There have been negative thoughts, but telling them to "shut the heck up. I am not listening to you" has been quite liberating. I even was greeted by my 4 year old when I got out of the car. I knelt down and hugged her without the worry of being a rotten mom, but rather one of feeling like I am the perfect mom for her, flaws and all. Thank you for this opportunity. I took a chance to email you in the first place after listening to a podcast weeks ago. I thought there would be no chance in heck that I would be selected. I am glad I had this remarkable opportunity and grateful to have worked with both of you. Much love and admiration, Jillian I hope you enjoy it as much as we did. Again, a big hug and thanks to the star or our podcast, Dr. Jillian Scherer who gave us all an incredible gift today! Thanks for listening. I hope you learned a ton and were moved emotionally. Write and let us know what you think! Rhonda, Jill, Jillian, and David

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Intense Performance / Public Speaking Anxiety, Part 2 of 2 Last week we presented the first half of the session with Michelle Wharton at the Live Therapy workshop on May 16, 2021. Michelle had been struggling with years of intense public speaking anxiety, especially in professional settings. So far, we've commented on the T = Testing and E = Empathy portions of the session. Today, we present the exciting and inspiring conclusion of that session. A = Assessment of Resistance At the end of the moving and tearful empathy phase, we asked Michelle about her goals for the session, which included Not to have to feel this terror at full volume. Not to be stopped from volunteering for things that require public speaking and teaching, and to be able to feel some excitement in my career! After Michelle said she would be willing to press the Magic Button to achieve all these goals instantly, with no effort, we suggested a round of Positive Reframing so we could see what might be lost of she suddenly achieved all these goals. You can click here  to review the Positive Reframing that we did together, as well as Michelle's Emotions table at the end of the Positive Reframing. You can see her goals for each emotion when we used the Magic Dial. The idea is to dial each feeling down to a lower level that would reduce your suffering, while still allowing you to preserve all the awesome things about you! The Positive Reframing is one of the unique aspects of TEAM-CBT. Although we are encouraging the patient to keep the symptoms, the Positive Reframing typically eliminates or drastically reduces the patient's resistance to change, and opens the door to the possibility of rapid recovery. This will be true even if the patient has been struggling with a problem unsuccessfully for years or even decades, as was the case with Michelle. M = Methods We asked Michelle what Negative Thought she wanted to work on first, and she chose #5: “People will think you are selfish and self-preoccupied.” She believed this thought 100%. First, we asked Michelle to identify and explain the cognitive distortions in this thought. As you can see on her Daily Mood Log (LINK), she found all ten distortions. Of course, the most prominent distortion in this thought is Mind-Reading. That's because Michelle thinks she knows how other people will be thinking and feeling about her when they find out about her intense public speaking anxiety. This distortion is nearly always present in any form of social anxiety. I know this from my clinical work and personal experience, since I have personally suffered from at least five forms of social anxiety, including extremely public speaking anxiety, when I was young. You feel absolutely certain that you're flawed and that people will judge you! Then we challenged the Negative Thought, and Michele she was able, with a little help and a couple of role reversal, to crush it. Take a look. (LINK) Here were Michelle's reflections on that portion of the session. First we used the Double Standard and I think that's when I said this to the imaginary friend with the exact same problem: “I think you're being kind of brave.” Then it evolved into Externalization of Voices. Both David and Jill played the negative Michelle and I had a little difficulty talking back to my Negative Self. I connected on a logical level, but didn't yet have the ammunition or determination I need to blow my Negative Thoughts out of the water. David spotted my ambivalence immediately, and suggested that maybe it wasn't something we should work on. Before he made that comment, I didn't even realize that I had mixed feelings about giving up my intensely self-critical thoughts. At that point, I found myself making the decision to fight back and felt myself getting stronger. The next time David (as the Negative Michelle) asked if he could talk to me for a minute I told him he had only 30 seconds to make his point because it was time to back off. I had some hesitation about only using the Counter Attack to defeat the thought but David said he liked the feisty response. Then David and Jill both told me of all the positive feedback that was coming through the chat, and I was given the opportunity to use the Survey Method with a couple of audience members. I think I asked two or three people if they thought I was using up valuable time, since that was one of my painful Negative Thoughts. The both commented that they found the session incredibly helpful and that they could relate to these feelings of anxiety and shame, and that they weren't judging me harshly at all! Here you can see how Michelle challenged thought #9. As you can see, her belief in this thought fell from 100 to 50, and then to 0. Negative Thoughts % Now % After Distortions Positive Thoughts % Belief 5. people will think that you're selfish and self-preoccupied. 100 50 0 AON OG MF DP MAG/MIN ER LABE SS SB In fact, I'm being kind of brave!! 100         My anxiety is very real, and it's good to ask for help. 100         My fear of public speaking is a common and exceptionally worthy problem! 100 You can see Michelle's Emotions table at the end of the session, after she had crushed all of her Negative Thoughts. Emotions % Now % Goal % After Emotions % Now % Goal % After Down 40 5-10 5 Embarrassed, foolish, self-conscious 100 5 0 Anxious, panicky 100 20-30 0 Discouraged 70 0 0 Inferior, inadequate, incompetent 90 25 5 Frustrated, stuck 80 10 0 Lonely 80 0 0 Angry, mad, resentful, annoyed, irritated, upset, furious 60 0 0 After the workshop, Michelle sent us this email. HI David and Jill, I was going to write to you and tell that I would probably be happy to go ahead with the podcast but that I wanted to do a DML on some concerns about judgements as well as concerns about crossing of professional boundaries (worrying that I'm ‘oversharing' with clients). Then, I just so happened to have supervision scheduled with Robyn Blake-Mortimer (another Level 4 therapist in Adelaide - I think she was Robyn Fowler when working in New York) this morning and she suggested we do some TEAM personal work on it. It was incredibly helpful and I've decided that I'd be happy for you to share the podcast, if Jill and Maor give permission. Robyn helped me to see that there was probably (intentional distortion!) a large impact on my life from the fact that my family survived Cycle Tracy (Christmas 1974) despite our house being 99% destroyed. Our lives were hugely affected and I (now) see a strong connection between this and the bed wetting. Which is not to say it changes the ‘ok-ness' of the issue, rather that it helped me to see the amount of cognitive distortions that were in my worries about broadcasting the podcast (that ‘my problems should all be fixed by now'). Another liberating moment for me, thanks again to TEAM. Here's what was left of our house after the Cyclone - just the bathroom where we were. Thank you again. M. This was my response to Michelle: Wow, Michelle, that's fantastic, kudos, I really like the way you've caught the pass and you're running for a touchdown, like a speedy wide receiver (if you follow football.) I really like all of your thinking and plans! Also, something both of you might want to consider is if we might consider turning each session into two consecutive podcasts. People love and are helped the most by live work podcasts. This is not required, and is just a thought. So proud of both of you! Warmly, david Michelle's scores on all the scales on the Brief Mood Survey at the end of the session were zero, and her scores on the Happiness Test soared to 100%. Her ratings of Jill and David on the Empathy and Helpfulness tests were perfect as you can see at this link. Here's what she wrote on the question on “what did you like the least about your session?” "Absolutely nothing!! This was such a gift and I feel so fortunate and incredibly grateful." Here's what she wrote on the question on “what did you like the best about your session?” "Addressing the ambivalence, the Positive Reframing, the warmth from you both, and how it helped me to soften into and accept these feelings." On the audio, you will also hear the amazing follow-up interview we had with Michelle many weeks after this session. Thanks for listening. I hope you learned a ton and were moved emotionally and inspired. Write and let us know what you think! And thanks, too, to Michelle for giving all of us a gift that's worth far more than gold! Rhonda, Jill, Michelle, and David

Tom Fox's guest this week is Heather Buker. Heather is the Product Manager at Allgress and oversees the full life cycle of development and QA processes. She has spent her professional life in the world of computer engineering until making her way into the cybersecurity space. Tom welcomes her to this week's show to talk about a new innovation from Allgress around authorizations to operate in the federal sector. All About Allgress Heather explains that Allgress is for highly regulated industries such as technology, government, and healthcare. “Allgress in general is a global provider of next-generation audit, compliance, security, and risk management solutions for organizations and their business partners to meet business risk objectives,” she says. Allgress enables organizations to streamline these processes and manage assessment monitoring in a more simplified way, and without the need for a contingent of consultants.  Fed Ramps & ATOs Tom asks Heather to explain what fed ramps and ATOs are and why they're important. Fed ramps are federal risk and management programs that are government-wide. The programs provide a standardized approach to security assessments and continuous monitoring for cloud-based services. An ATO is the government giving you the authorization to operate a compliant cloud-based service. ATOs and fed ramps are necessary if you sell your service to the federal government. After acquiring your fed ramp or ATO, then you can focus on maintaining the continuous monitoring that the ATO provides. How Allgress Maintains Your Federal ATO Effectively “We're going to give you the dynamic preparedness assessment; we're going to automatically determine your impact level based on a survey; we're going to guide you through [attaining an ATO] step by step,” Heather tells Tom. Allgress completely streamlines this process via automation and creates the audit trail that its clients need. “When the auditors come and they have questions, you're gonna have all of the answers, and it's going to be in the single pane of glass view that Allgress provides,” she adds. Allgress provides all the evidence and policies necessary for when you're testing to the federal controls.  The Impact of COVID-19 & What's Next The pandemic put a spotlight on the need for GRC solutions and exposed those companies that didn't have those processes in place. It was a reminder to organizations that we never know when unexpected risk may strike, how we may be impacted, and how it may affect our organizational systems. Businesses have to start preparing for unexpected risks within our organizations. Heather explains to Tom that Allgress helps with this by automating organizational and partner risk assessment and leading them in the direction of a recovery plan. Businesses also need to be putting more importance on the usability of their products.  “User adoption is something that's so difficult to achieve when you introduce a new product to your workforce... It's imperative that GRC solutions continue to become more user-friendly and reduce that learning curve so that users are going to adopt the technology more quickly and with ease,” Heather remarks. Resources Heather Buker | LinkedIn | Twitter Texas Tax rate at 80% of 8.25%

Dr. Will Tuttle discusses the magic button that can open the hearts and minds of non-vegans. A visionary speaker, educator, author, and musician, he's a former Zen monk with a Ph.D. from U.C., Berkeley, and a vegan since 1980. He has appeared in many radio, television, print, and online interviews, as well as documentary films, including Cowspiracy; Prayer for Compassion; HOPE: What You Eat Matters; Vegan: Everyday Stories; and Animals and the Buddha. Dr. Tuttle and his spouse Madeleine provide lecture presentations, workshops, and trainings internationally on The World Peace Diet, veganism, effective activism, meditation, and intuition development. Original posts: http://www.worldpeacediet.com/category/wills-essays/current-blogs/page/16/ Follow Plant Based Briefing on social media: Twitter: @PlantBasedBrief YouTube: YouTube.com/PlantBasedBriefing  Facebook: Facebook.com/PlantBasedBriefing  LinkedIn: Plant Based Briefing Podcast Instagram: @PlantBasedBriefing #worldpeacediet #satyagraha #vegan #herdingculture #plantbased #veganpodcast #plantbasedpodcast #plantbasedbriefing

Fascht en ganzi Stond puurs Entertainment vom Yannick ond de Julia. Obwouh de Yannick sini Ufzgi ned gmacht het hämmer Gspröchsstoff gfonde, wöu Baku ächt abgleferet het. Zämegfasst cha mr säge: mer send aui froh, gets de Magic Button.

Gostam de pódios improváveis, acidentes aparatosos e explosões espontâneas de pneus? Misturem 500g de borracha Pirelli, um Baku e duas colheres de sopa de Magic Button, ponham meia hora na Bimby e têm uma corrida para contar aos netos. A Beatriz, o Tiago e o João discutem todos os acontecimentos da primeira prova verdadeiramente insana de 2021, onde ambos os candidatos ao título acabaram como a Grã-Bretanha na Eurovisão - nil points. Ainda há tempo para darmos um saltinho aos Estados Unidos para falar do Homem-Aranha e de NASCAR à chuva. Imperdível!Junta-te ao nosso campeonato de Fantasy F1!https://fantasy.formula1.com/league/58058?ftm=shareCódigo de acesso: 1e662ac442Esbardalhanço da semana: https://youtu.be/GyHfU6TeLq8

Waarom mag Lewis Hamilton als de grootste verliezer worden bestempeld van de Grand Prix van Azerbeidzjan, wordt het na het bandendebacle in Baku tijd voor een onafhankelijk onderzoek van de FIA naar het rubber van Pirelli en waarom is de terugkeer van een bandenoorlog niet de oplossing voor de Formule 1? We bespreken het in een nieuwe aflevering van de Formule 1-podcast van Motorsport.com In de dertiende aflevering van het seizoen blikken Erwin Jaeggi, Mike Mulder, Bjorn Smit en Koen Sniekers uitgebreid terug op de Grand Prix van Azerbeidzjan. Het panel bespreekt de foutloze face van Max Verstappen die niet beloond werd, de winst van Sergio Perez die eindelijk het gedroomde plan van Red Bull uitvoerde en de pijnlijke blunder van Lewis Hamilton die een einde maakte aan zijn imposante recordreeks. Verder ook antwoord op de vraag waarom de race na de crash van Max Verstappen werd stilgelegd met een rode vlag en waarom er gekozen werd voor een staande herstart en we leggen uit waar de ‘Magic Button' op het stuur van Lewis Hamilton nou precies voor dient. De Motorsport.com Formule 1-podcast is een productie van de Nederlandse redactie van Motorsport.com en verschijnt iedere woensdag. De podcast is te vinden op alle platforms. Vergeet de show niet te volgen, zodat de nieuwe show direct in je feed verschijnt. Heb jij een vraag voor het panel? Stel hem op onze social media-kanalen, via een reactie onderaan dit artikel of stuur een mailtje naar nl.info@motorsport.com!

Waarom mag Lewis Hamilton als de grootste verliezer worden bestempeld van de Grand Prix van Azerbeidzjan, wordt het na het bandendebacle in Baku tijd voor een onafhankelijk onderzoek van de FIA naar het rubber van Pirelli en waarom is de terugkeer van een bandenoorlog niet de oplossing voor de Formule 1? We bespreken het in een nieuwe aflevering van de Formule 1-podcast van Motorsport.com In de dertiende aflevering van het seizoen blikken Erwin Jaeggi, Mike Mulder, Bjorn Smit en Koen Sniekers uitgebreid terug op de Grand Prix van Azerbeidzjan. Het panel bespreekt de foutloze face van Max Verstappen die niet beloond werd, de winst van Sergio Perez die eindelijk het gedroomde plan van Red Bull uitvoerde en de pijnlijke blunder van Lewis Hamilton die een einde maakte aan zijn imposante recordreeks. Verder ook antwoord op de vraag waarom de race na de crash van Max Verstappen werd stilgelegd met een rode vlag en waarom er gekozen werd voor een staande herstart en we leggen uit waar de ‘Magic Button' op het stuur van Lewis Hamilton nou precies voor dient. De Motorsport.com Formule 1-podcast is een productie van de Nederlandse redactie van Motorsport.com en verschijnt iedere woensdag. De podcast is te vinden op alle platforms. Vergeet de show niet te volgen, zodat de nieuwe show direct in je feed verschijnt. Heb jij een vraag voor het panel? Stel hem op onze social media-kanalen, via een reactie onderaan dit artikel of stuur een mailtje naar nl.info@motorsport.com!

Was für ein Grand Prix! Erst holt sich Max Verstappen bärenstark die Führung, um sie dann wieder abzugeben – dank Pirelli. Davor profitiert er aber noch von einem - Achtung festhalten! - Fehler von Lewis Hamilton – dank dem Magic Button. Der lachende Dritte ist dann Sergio Perez – dank gutem Reifenmanagement. Das macht Moritz sehr glücklich, schließlich hat er es ja in der letzten Folge bereits vorausgesagt. Alles was sonst noch wichtig war in diesem Rennen, gibt's in unserer Analyse.

Jon, Spider, Michael and Ruairi workshop Brian Hansen from Atlanta, GA  https://www.briandanehansen.com ..... http://www.convos.at Produced and Mixed by Dylan Seals
http://www.hdaudiopost.com "Conversations Theme" 
Performed by Hazelrigg Brothers
Composed by “Spider” Ron Entwistle, Geoff Hazelrigg, George Hazelrigg
Piano: George Hazelrigg 
Bass: Geoff Hazelrigg
Drums: John O'Reilly Jr.
Mixed by Jon Castelli  

Reifenschlitzer Baku! Warum bei über 300 Sachen die Fetzen fliegen, Vettel einfach grandios ist, Hamilton den Schleudersitz alias Magic Button gedrückt hat und warum wir die Strecke in Baku einfach lieben. Diskutiert mit uns mit! Instagram: instagram.com/stintf1podcast

238: Feeling Great Book Club Featuring Drs. Sharon Batista and Robert Schacter In today's podcast, Drs. Sharon Batista and Robert Schacter describe their visionary 16-week Feeling Great Book Club for mental health professionals that we mentioned in a podcast several months ago. The group was a great success, and I am super thankful to them for creating it! Sharon described how the group came into being. She’d been looking forward to Feeling Great and ordered the hardbound and the audio version as well. But she found, like so many mental health professionals, that it is difficult to keep up with career and family, and sent out a post to colleagues suggesting a possible book group to make the process of learning easier. Bob wrote back and said, “What a brilliant idea! Let’s do it!” Sharon and Bob reported that the more than 40 therapists signed up for the Book Club, which consisted of 90-minute sessions every other week. The participants ranged in experience from Level 1 to Level 4 certification in TEAM-CBT. Sharon explained that “People liked learning the parts of TEAM piece by piece. Being assigned to read 1 chapter per week gave them enough time to read and digest the material in small chunks. And people had a myriad of questions at every group.” Sharon and Bob graciously said that “a highlight for the group was the time David attended and generously gave us over two hours for Q and A.” For me (David) it was also a peak experience. Due, in part, to my narcissism, I just love answering questions, and they asked tons of really good ones! The other phenomenon they described was that “we became a group. It was comforting to see each other every two weeks with a common purpose and sense of community. People felt the group was relaxed and said they gained more understanding than from the training groups they’d been in. People were relieved to discover that they weren’t the only ones who thought TEAM-CBT was very complex.” Sharon added; “As therapists, we face lots of challenges and sometimes make mistakes. The participants got a lot of support and engaged in a process that involved learning and personal growth.” The questions from book club members began with clarifying the descriptions of the ten Cognitive Distortions. People asked questions like these: What is the difference between Overgeneralization and Mental Filtering? Why is a Should Statement a cognitive distortion? Why do some methods work better than others for various distortions? How do we know which ones to use? What is Unconscious Resistance? Why does the therapist need to become the voice of that resistance? What do you do when nothing seems to be working? Can you explain how the Magic Button leads to the “Switch” that makes someone decide to get better. How do you show empathy to someone who is suicidal? Can you explain the Death of the Ego? (This was a big question) When you are dealing with the spiritual side, how do you take the path of acceptance? What is the path of acceptance? What is the difference between a low-level and high-level solution? How can you be happy if the negative thoughts are true? How can you do TEAM-CBT when only 50-minute sessions are possible? Tell us what Enlightenment is! A major question was: Why do some people seem to not want to get better? How do you figure out what the resistance is, and how do you work through it? We shot the breeze about some of these questions in today’s podcast. If you would like to start your own Feeling Great Book Club for therapists or for lay people, and need more information, feel free to contact Sharon or Bob. Sharon M. Batista, M.D., FAPA, FACLP, FAMWA Medical Director, Balanced Psychiatry of New York  (212) 869-0515 drbatista@balancedpsychiatry.com Rhonda and I want to thank both of them and send them a big virtual hug!

What Do Helicopters Sound Like? & If You Had A Magic Button What Would It Do? | Podcast On Today's Show: Maz got in a pretty serious argument with her husband over what noise a helicopter makes so naturally we debate it on air with everybody including listeners giving their noise We talk about an Adelaide criminal on the run named Khe Sanh Trumps Magic Diet Coke button has been removed from the Whitehouse but we want to know what our listeners button would do if they had one! Wellness Guru Maz puts Gawndy through his paces See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Jealousy Addiction! What Can You Do When Good Things Happen to Bad People? Hi podcast fans! Thanks for your wonderful support in 2020. You helped us hit our three millionth download. I wanted to give a shout out to my fantastic hostess, Dr. Rhonda Barovsky, who has brought magic to the Feeling Good Podcast! This is our first podcast of 2021. It is a really good one, I think. A tremendous amount of work has gone into it, both in the weeks prior to the podcast, as well as in the creation of the detailed show notes for those who want to study and understand exactly how TEAM therapy works for the thorny and almost universal problems of jealousy and anger. Much violence in the world, especially in couples, results from these feelings. I want to thank Bridget for her tremendous courage in giving us all this wonderful gift to kick off the new year! For therapists and therapy students, this show, with the show notes, should be a rich source of learning. David And, I, Rhonda wants to thank Dr. Burns for the incredible contribution he has made to the field of mental health treatment and for the honor of being part of the Feeling Good Podcast! Rhonda Bridget asks: Can you help me with my feelings of intense jealousy? Hello David & Rhonda, I’ve had this issue for a while now, and I’m wondering if others deal with it as well. If I find out that someone I dislike has something good happen in their life, I get extremely upset, frustrated, angry, jealous, & resentful. It will eat away at me, sometimes for weeks. The thing is I’m happy with my life & wouldn’t actually want to trade places with these other people, but it’s like just the fact that they get to be happy when they are a “bad person” & don’t deserve it upsets me. By “bad person” I mean people who are manipulative, liars, cheaters, etc. I’ve always been a person who is big on justice. I don’t want to focus on these other people anymore. I don’t want to care. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, Bridget David's Comment I was pleased to receive this email, as jealousy IS a big problem, and one I have not focused on specifically in my books or podcasts. I exchanged several emails with Bridget who graciously gave me permission to feature her work in today’s podcast. When people share their vulnerabilities openly, it is a gift to the rest of us, since the teaching and learning potential is great. In addition, most of us feel close to people who open up and share the inner feelings and insecurities that most of us hide. This is an action that requires great courage, and often results in even greater rewards. Bridget is also interesting because some fans have criticized me for featuring mental health professionals when I’m doing personal work. I do that because I’m no longer in private practice, and do not carry liability insurance. When I do personal work with therapists, it is in the context of their training, and is not considered an ongoing therapeutic relationship. But today, I have decided to bring you some really challenging work with someone who is not a therapist, but a married woman who works as a product manager for a high-tech company. Of course, I have disguised her identity. The emotions she is asking for help with, jealousy and anger, are the toughest emotions to challenge, far harder than depression or anxiety. That’s because the thoughts that trigger depression and anxiety involve Self-Blame and self-criticism, so you tend to feel worthless or inferior. Crushing self-critical thoughts leads to relief and joy. But the thoughts that trigger jealousy and anger typically involve Other-Blame and other-criticism, which is far tougher to defeat, because blaming others can be associated with exciting feelings of moral superiority. (You will notice below that I am embedding the PDFs of Bridget's work in the show notes, as opposed to linking to them as I usually do. Let me know which format you prefer. Thanks! david) STEP 1: Record your negative thoughts and feelings at a specific moment Here was my response to Bridget: Thanks, Bridget! On the attached DML, fill out the event, circle and rate emotions, and record and rate belief in negative thoughts. Scan back to me, and then I'll have further instructions. d Hi Dr. Burns, Here is my DML. Thanks! Bridget's DML at the beginning of the intervention. Notice that the belief in the NTs are all high, and the negative feelings are intense. STEP 2: Positive Reframing Hi Bridget, You’re moving fast! Way to go! Great example! Now list answers to these two questions about every category of negative feeling. What does this negative feeling show about you and your core values that’s’ positive and awesome? What are some benefits, or advantages, of this negative feeling? You can also do this with a couple of your negative thoughts. david Hi Dr. Burns, Some of these were difficult to find positives, but I do truly believe everything I wrote. This is Bridget's Positive Reframing Table. The items in caps were suggested by David, and she endorse these as well. Hi “Bridget,” You did great work on Positive Reframing. I have added several more things in caps in the right-hand column. Delete or edit that are not valid or don’t ring true. Would love to see your edited version. Once you are done, use the % Goal column at top of emotions table to do the following. Imagine you had a Magic Button, and if you pressed it, all your negative thoughts and feelings would vanish, and you’d be euphoric with no effort. However, all these benefits and beautiful things about you would go down the drain at the same time. So, answer this question: Why in the world would you want to do that? Then, answer this question for each negative feeling: “Given that there are many genuine benefits of this feeling, would there be some level I could dial this feeling down to if I had a Magic Dial? For example, my unhappiness is at 100%. Would there be some ideal level of unhappiness that would be less painful, but would still allow me to have the benefits and positives associated with this feeling? Would 40% be enough, for example? Or maybe even 20%” If this makes sense, fill in the %Goal column for each negative feeling. Thanks! david STEP 3: Magic Dial Hi Dr. Burns, Thank you! I actually really liked & agreed with everything you added. Those all seem true to me, so I left them on there and did not change it. I put in percentages for my goals on the daily mood log. I think it's good to keep quite a bit of those feelings after seeing the benefits. Bridget's DML with Goal column filled it  STEP 4: Positive Thoughts Hi Bridget, Perfect, and you are moving fast. So cool! Now I want you to choose one thought to work on first. Identify the distortions in it with abbreviations in the Distortion column. Then see if you can generate a positive thought with the help of the attached booklet, which is for your eyes only. Please do not send to anyone!  It is written for therapists but will be great for you, too, hopefully! Please note the Necessary and Sufficient Conditions for an effective and helpful Positive Thought: It has to be 100% true. It has to reduce your belief in the Negative Thought. Reach out if you need help or if something isn’t clear. david Hi Dr. Burns, I was able to reduce the belief in the thought to 50%. Just because she lives in a nice house in a warm location doesn't mean that's guaranteed happiness. There's a lot of factors involved that could change at any moment. Bridget's DML with first Positive Thought. As you can see at the link, she believes the PT 100%, and this reduced her belief in the NT to 50%. Hi Bridget, Well done! If 50% is low enough, we can move on to another thought. Another distortion in the thought is Mind-Reading, since our assumptions about how other people feel are rarely valid. My research has shown that shrinks cannot even know how their patients feel, even at the end of a therapy session. So, we don’t actually know how she feels most of the time, or at any specific time. In addition, you are saying that it’s unfair that people with poor character can have lots of money and nice things, and this is a source of anger. That’s the “should” telling yourself this “should not” happen. It is so EASY and ENTICING to feel this way. And we certainly see lots and lots of ugly, repulsive, mean-spirited people with tons of money and stuff! It’s unfortunate. Albert Ellis used to point out that we may not like certain things, but it’s not true that they “should not” happen. For example, we don’t like the fact that our cats like to capture, play with, and kill little creatures. But it’s not true that they “should not” do that because it’s their nature. For myself, I’d rather hang out with people I like and respect and feel comfortable with, as opposed to these “hot shot” types. I’ve treated some very wealthy narcissistic individuals, one in particular, and it was incredibly unpleasant. I had no longing at all to live his lifestyle—in a mansion in Southern California filled with priceless antiques and stuff—but miserable relationships with other people he was trying to control since it seemed like his only thing—brag and try to manipulate people. I prefer people who are more on the humble side! Just some babbling. If 50 is good enough—since there IS truth in the thought, time to tackle another. You’re doing great! david Hi Dr. Burns, I worked my way through all my negative thoughts, & I ended up surpassing all of my goals for my negative emotions. Some of the thoughts were hard to challenge. I think the "shoulds" do get in the way a lot for me. And I also do a lot of fortune telling I noticed. I did some cognitive flooding and imagined her being hand fed grapes by the pool, her husband telling her how wonderful she is, her saying "I just love my life", and it all seemed so ridiculous then. There's no way that's how the majority of anybody's days are. I feel much better about it now. Let me know if you have any other thoughts. Bridget's completed DML Notice that she believed all of her PTs 100%, and there was a nice reduction in her belief in the NTs, along with a reduction in her negative feelings.  But was this enough? Had we gone far enough. Only Bridget can answer this question! Hi Bridget, This is fantastic, thanks! Can I use all this great work in an Ask David? We might record it Friday, tomorrow. Are you satisfied with where you’re at now? If you want to bring feelings down further, we can attack a couple of the thoughts that are still at 50%, but not necessary. The question will be how many of the negative feelings you want to retain, and it’s cool that you have surpassed your goals! Very cool, and might be helpful to others. let me know if you give permission to use this personal but terrific material in a podcast. Tons of jealousy in the world! David Hi Dr. Burns, Yes, you can definitely use everything we did here. I think it will help others. I think I’m ok with leaving the thoughts at 50% for those 2. Bridget STEP 5: Additional Methods Hi Bridget, While jogging, I realized that I forgot to comment on your creative use of flooding. I had thought of that also as another useful technique, and there you went and did it before I had the chance to suggest it! You are probably the first person in the world to use flooding for jealousy—usually it is for anxiety, as you likely know. I’ve attached a flooding flowsheet if you do more. The goal would be to see if you can work your jealousy up to higher and higher levels, and keep it as high as possible. I also thought of a ton of additional techniques we could use in challenging any of your negative thoughts, like the Individual and Interpersonal Downward Arrow, to get at the core beliefs underneath the jealousy, and lots more cool techniques. But we may not need any more techniques! Like scheduling time each day to make yourself as jealous as possible, say for one minute, or five minutes, or whatever. I was also curious about your prior experiences with this woman. I’m sure there’s a story behind your negative feelings David Hi Dr. Burns, I actually haven't ever met this woman personally. I guess I've seen her as the enemy ever since I started dating my husband. I saw all their old pictures on Facebook & messages between them, & I had this intense rage about it. My husband told me that she had not been faithful to him throughout their entire relationship, but he kept sticking it out with her. So anyways, I had this intense desire to find out more information constantly. I was looking her up online all the time, trying to find out more. It was an obsession at times. At first I thought I just needed to know what it was about her that he liked so much that he was willing to be with her all those years despite everything she had done. Eventually I realized I was doing it to prove to myself that she was not better than me, that her life was not better. But then it's like I was finding out the opposite. I found out about her marrying into that rich family, saw pictures of her and her husband traveling the world together, then buying this big beautiful home. I was filled with jealousy and rage. I thought here she strung my husband along for years and stole his prime years from me, and now she's living it up! Never paying the price. So yeah I suppose that's the long back story behind it. Wow thanks, Bridget, I really appreciate your candor! It all makes sense now. I’m so sorry she has been haunting you and making your life unhappy at times. She sounds, to me, like a pretty unhappy person, bitter and tortured and maybe trying to impress people with her “things.”. Not my kind of folk at any rate! When I was in grammar school, someone asked me if I was going to any Halloween parties, and I said I hadn’t been invited to any. I told my mother, if memory is correct, and she said why don’t I have a Halloween party? So, the next day at school I said if anyone hadn’t been invited to a Halloween party, they can come to my Halloween party. I had an older sister who helped prepare it to be this really neat party, but I didn’t know if anyone would come as I didn’t feel like I was one of the “popular” people. I might have been more of an intellectual nerd or something like that, and I wasn’t very attractive. But I was really happy when practically the whole class came, and we had the best party ever. Ever since then, I think I’ve kind of preferred the “unpopular” people, and to this day it is the same. I have tons of friends I totally love in low places. Anger and jealousy are, to my way of thinking, by far the hardest emotions to get rid of. It can be done, as you’ve shown, but it ain’t always easy. And what you’re doing totally rocks! Kudos! It was hard for me to shake it in the early days of my career. Now, these emotions never bother me, although I am joyfully angry from time to time! And thanks, too, for such rapid responses! I love the humorous imaging you created of her sitting around the pool being fed grapes, exotic wines, and rare chocolates by her dutiful slave husband, and perhaps a couple servants as well! Happy Thanksgiving, and thank you for giving of yourself!! David Hi Dr. Burns, That is a great story. I hope I can one day rid myself of those emotions like you were able to. I really appreciate you taking the time to work with me & spend so much time on this issue. I am just so grateful! I look forward to the podcast. Happy Thanksgiving! Hi Dr. Burns, Thank you! I actually got the idea by using that cheat sheet for the recovery circle from your new book Feeling Great, which by the way I love. It's like the Bible of cognitive therapy. I have so many spots bookmarked and go back to it all the time. I did the Downward Arrow technique, & it helped reduce my beliefs in the thoughts even more. I don't think that I made the wrong choices in life just because I have to work hard to get by. If I had made other choices, then I might never have met my husband or adopted my cats or maybe I would've never even discovered your books and connected with you which changed my life. I was able to reduce my belief in the thought "It’s not fair I have to work so hard just to get by" to 20%. For my other thought "She gets to live this happy life after how she’s manipulated and treated people poorly for years" I also did the Downward Arrow. That made a big difference as well. Just because she is happy doesn't mean that me doing the right thing has been for nothing. I'm glad I can confidently say I believe I'm a good-hearted, caring person. Her happiness will never change that about me. That thought is also now reduced to 20%. I'm feeling pretty dang good right now! I think I will take your advice and continue to do the cognitive flooding a little each day until the thought has no merit anymore. Link to her downward arrow work Hi Bridget, Thanks for all the positive feedback and hard work. I have more ideas, a lot more actually, if you want to push things further at some point, but doesn’t hurt to take a breather when you have climbed to the top of a mountain! Warmly, david Hi Dr. Burns, I’m always open to more ideas to try. Wouldn’t hurt. Maybe I could even get my belief in the thoughts to 0 eventually. * * * I offered to send Bridget a copy of my video, “Overcoming Toxic Shame,” since she was feeling some shame about carrying this burden alone. * * * Hi Dr. Burns, Yes, you are the only person I’ve ever told this to. I definitely fear being judged & rejected in this situation. I feel like I shouldn’t care so much what everyone else is doing in their lives & just focus on my own life. I feel ashamed & embarrassed of my online stalking too. The thing is that when I “play detective” & find out new information about her online I get this sort of high off it. It can be exciting, but then it always just ends up leading to me feeling bad about myself. So, as you can see there are advantages & disadvantages to doing it. I have done online stalking with other people too & told my husband about it when I would find out something upsetting or just interesting information. Sometimes he would make a face & say why would you be looking them up. And then I’d feel ashamed. I just feel like he does not approve of that behavior, & I can’t blame him. If the roles were reversed, it might make me a little suspicious of his intentions. Maybe even a little concerned. I do have a DVD player & would be very interested in seeing that video you mentioned. STEP 6: A New Idea: Is this actually a habit / addiction? Hi “Bridget,” Your video is ready for shipping, and the next mail package pick up at our house will be tomorrow or Wednesday. It will come express mail, so you should get it later this week. I had one other thought. If your habit of checking up on people gives you a high, but also leads to negative feelings, one could view this problem in the context of habits and addictions. You would have to think about that and see if it is valid or not. I don’t know for sure. But if it is, then abstinence might be helpful, too, since continually re-engaging with your checking up on people might keep fueling your feelings of jealousy. So, giving up this habit might be a price you’d have to pay to escape completely from this problem. Again, just speculation. At any rate, two chapters on habits were not included in my new book due to length, but they are available for free on the home page of my website. It offers one unpublished chapter, but there are actually two. If you are interested in this approach, download the chapters and see what you think, and maybe do some of the written exercises like the Triple Paradox, for example, and let me know what you think, too! Sincerely, David Hello Dr. Burns, I read the extra chapters, and they are great. It's too bad they couldn't have been included in the book because I bet they would help so many people. I did all of the exercises & found them very helpful. I especially loved using the decision-making tool for this. I would never think to compare disadvantages of 2 situations like that. I was actually surprised at how much of a "slam dunk" the option of "stop checking up on people entirely" was. I didn't expect that. I want to change because I'm tired of comparing myself & my life to other people. I also don't want to sit around waiting for justice then getting upset when the opposite happens. I spend too much of my free time thinking about these people I don't even like. I'm letting them win by caring. I also don't want to feel like I'm keeping secrets from my husband. The less I know, the better. All signs point to stopping the behavior. I just hope I can do it! Attached are the exercises I did. Would love your thoughts/feedback. Bridget You can link to Bridget's Triple Paradox and work with the Devil's Advocate tool. If you're interested, you can also review her work with the powerful Decision-Making Tool that I created 40 years ago. For more information, you can download the two free unpublished chapters on Habits and Addictions that I omitted from my new book, Feeling Great, due to length. You will find those chapters for free on the homepage of my website, www.feelinggood.com. Hi Bridget, Forgot to write back, I thought all your work was awesome! Incredible. Thanks, and kudos!! Hope you got or soon get the Melanie video. Apology for slowness. We adopted an incredibly 6-year old cat at the Humane Society, but ran into some temporary complications and now all is well. Plan to integrate her with our 3-year old feral cat, Miss Misty, at the end of a week keeping them separated. The new lady is a purring machine! Her owner died, and then she was adopted and returned, so she is terrified that she’s not “good enough” and fearful that we’ll send her back. We are totally in love with her, but had to take her back for a check-up for ring worm as the Humane Society called and said she had an accidental interaction with a ring worm cat. But they didn’t find anything. It was super-traumatic, since we had to put her back in the carrying cage, and she was desperate, thinking we were returning her. It was heart breaking, once of the worst experiences of my life! But now she’s back with us and looking forward to meeting her new “sister,” Miss Misty. Fortunately, she gets along really well with other cats. But we don’t know about Miss Misty! David Hi Dr. Burns, Aww poor kitty! That is so awesome you decided to take in another cat. I love how passionate you are about them. I loved your story of Obie in your book and how you dedicated it to him. I could really identify with it. We took in a feral kitten this past fall, and it went from him running away from us if we were within 10 feet of him outside to him being a permanent inside cat. Just last night he hopped on the couch next to me and laid on me purring while I put my arms around him like a teddy bear. It was so special! I haven't gotten the Melanie video yet, but I will definitely let you know once I receive it and watch it! -Bridget Hi Bridget, Thanks! Congrats on your kitten! Heaven! d Commentary Here are my random comments / observations. Bridget got a really rapid and fairly dramatic response. This was due, in large part, to the fact that she did all of her homework, and she did everything right away. When I worked with individuals when I was I private practice, doing homework was required, not optional. Many people want to just come and talk to their shrink once a week, but, at least in my experience, this has never once been effective. Bridget was motivated. She asked for help, and worked hard to get that help. Motivation is the key to overcoming depression, anxiety, relationship problems, and habits and addictions. Most religions have the concept of “ask and ye shall receive.” Without the asking, there will be little or no “receiving!” Bridget conquered two of the most challenging of all emotions on her own. I did provide some guidance via email comments, but she did the heavy listing. Over time, new insights develop. Therapy and self-help are fluid in this regard. The idea that this problem could be viewed as a habit or addiction suddenly popped into my mind and clicked, and provided another powerful tool for defeating this problem. Rigid formulaic treatment is less effective, but many therapists and many people in general are looking for “formulas” and secrets of overcoming this or that problem. Methods and tools are great, but formulas leave a lot to be desired. I don’t think that Bridget’s response was any slower than when I do live personal work sessions with therapists. It took longer, since we had to exchange a series of emails. But the total contact time was still in the range of an extended (two hour) therapy session. This demonstration may not satisfy the doubters, but it might at least help a little. The effective ingredient is TEAM, applied systematically with warmth and compassion. I am incredibly indebted to Bridget, and hope you also appreciate her brave contribution! It is not easy to bare your soul to the world, but the world deeply appreciates this type of openness, because most of us suffer in secret, adding loneliness to the equation. When you open up, your worst part sometimes gets magically transformed into your best part. It is a little like emotional alchemy, turning your emotional mud into gold! I hope you enjoyed today's podcast, and a got a feel for how a TEAM therapist might treat someone struggling with intense jealousy and anger. These are topics not often discussed in the psychotherapy world, so hopefully this podcast will be a useful contribution to a challenging topic! Rhonda, Bridget, and David

Podcast 222 Ask David December 28, 2020 Ask David featuring five challenging questions. Jay asks: How do you treat individuals with personality disorders using TEAM-CBT? Jeff asks: Can you talk more about the “great death” of the therapist’s “helping” or “rescuing” self? This was really helpful to me! Darkmana asks: Hey David, are there any books about Buddhism you would recommend? I can see you’re a fan of it from Feeling Great! Angela asks: What’s a perfect score on your empathy test? Margaret asks: What can you say to a patient who doesn’t want to push the Magic Button? * * * Jay asks: How do you treat individuals with personality disorders using TEAM-CBT? Dr. Burns Have you considered doing a podcast on using TEAM-CBT or CBT for Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Personality Disorders? The interesting thing is those with personality Disorders seem to blame everyone and everything for their problems but themselves Also, what if anything could individuals do to not get attracted or quickly eject when they encounter these folks. One theory is that folks with abusive or neglectful parents are vulnerable. Because the chaos and drama is familiar. I think many therapists avoid folks with pd no? Particularly patients with Borderline PD. It's interesting in that kids have years of relating to parents with personality disorders. So how would TEAM-CBT help? Just curious what your experience and Rhonda too Jay Rhonda and David talk about how TEAM-CBT developed out of David's treatment of large numbers of individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder, and what some of the treatment strategies are. * * * Jeff asks: Can you talk more about the “great death” of the therapist’s “helping” or “rescuing” self? This was really helpful to me! Hi Dr. Burns, I loved what you've taught on the death of the selves - and recently read the Four Great Deaths of the Therapists Ego in your new book, Feeling Great. One part that I found so helpful was the death of "The Helping, Rescuing Self." I think I've believed that's my purpose. That's why I'm there. I'm there to "help" the client feel better and live a full, rich, meaningful life. That's something I've struggled with - because if I'm not there to help, what am I there for? And if I don't FEEL like I've helped, then I've failed the client. I'd love to hear this concept expanded on. I think many therapists, coaches, etc. would benefit from seeing how they can work with clients without thinking they have to help or rescue them. Thank you, Dr. Burns. P.S. Your new book is a goldmine. Enjoying it immensely. * * * Darkmana asks: Hey David, are there any books about Buddhism you would recommend? I can see you’re a fan of it from Feeling Great? Hi Darkmana, Thank you for your question. I'm sure there are many great books out there, but I have never studied Buddhism or read anything about it. I just sort of make things up! David will tell his Buddhism story when eating in a noodle house with his son Erik. Rhonda has invited the Dalai Lama to appear on a Feeling Good Podcast. It seems like a long shot, but it would be delightful to have the chance to chat with him, as there is so much overlap between Buddhism and TEAM-CBT! I would guess that he likely has a good sense of humor, since humor and laughter can be such great ways of grasping certain ideas and achieving enlightenment. I have heard that the Buddha talked about the “Great Death” of the self. In Feeling Great, I talk about four “great deaths” that correspond to recovery from depression, anxiety, relationship problems, and habits and addictions. I’d love to hear the Dalai Lama’s thoughts about this. There may be large numbers of “Great Deaths,” I suspect. To me, “reincarnation” is something that happens when we are alive, and not something that happens after our bodies die! However, I think most Buddhists might fiercely oppose my thinking in this regard. I think that “literalism” is one of the problems with most organized religions. Stories that are intended to convey wisdom and insight are taken as literally true. * * * Angela asks: What’s a perfect score on your empathy test? Hello David, In the weekly practice group that I host, the question came up today “what does Dr. Burns mean by no less than 20?  Is it the first section titled “Therapeutic Empathy” which is 20 points total, or the entire survey which is 20 questions? Warmest blessings, Angela Poch, RPC-C Hi Angela, Thanks, yes that is correct. 20 on the empathy scale is the lowest passing grade. A score of 19 and below indicate some significant failure in the therapeutic relationship / empathy. Since we are hoping for failure, I try to make failure as easy as possible! That’s part of my “anti-perfectionism” philosophy. I encourage the four “great deaths” of the therapist’s ego, and this is the first of the four deaths. * * * Margaret asks: What can you say to a patient who doesn’t want to push the Magic Button? Hi Dr. Burns, I attended your intensive in Atlanta and am working on my level 3 certification. TEAM CBT has transformed my life personally and transformed my practice professionally. I will be forever grateful to your hard work and dedication in developing this approach. My burning question is about the magic button / magic dial. After the positive reframe, when we ask, " With all these awesome things your negative emotions show about you and all the benefits you get from them, why would you want to press this button?"  Ninety five percent of the time my clients argue for change and that is great. My problem is when they say, "I guess I wouldn't want to press that button."  I feel like I am cheating them by not offering the magic dial. It seems like all or nothing thinking. If you press the magic button, "all" of these positive things will go away. They never get the chance to even learn about the magic dial and then may never get the chance to learn about cognitive distortions and all of the other cool methods you and others have created. My clients always benefit from the positive reframing. How much do they have to argue for change? How critical is this? Maybe I am thinking about this all wrong. I can really use some guidance. Thank You so Much, Margaret McCall I just realized my pun with "Burn"ing question- that was not intentional, lol Hi Margaret, Great question! Will add it to an Ask David. Quick answer: you can agree that it is not a good idea to press the Magic Button,  and ask them what their NTs and feelings show about them that is positive and awesome, and also ask them why they might NOT want to push the Magic Button, and then once again paradox them. All you have to do is say “Good thinking. Let’s list all the really GOOD reasons NOT to press that button.” Then you go right into Positive Reframing, followed by the Magic Dial. Also, if they do not want help, which is often the case with relationship problems as well as habits and addictions, you can just ask if them if there is anything they DO want help with! It is not my job to persuade the patient to work on something. It is the patient’s job to persuade me to help him or her! Rhonda and David

We discuss the shape of the perp's legs, and specific joint information from the forensic podiatrist. We also talk about how Missy's Camp Gladiator participants possibly got into the church that terrible morning. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/truecrimebroads/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/truecrimebroads/support

Corona Cast 8: Live Therapy with Dan. How Could You Treat an “Existential Depression” in the Midst of a Pandemic? Today David and Dr. Jill Levitt feature live work with Dan, a licensed clinical social worker who’s been struggling with an “existential depression” for 15 years, but it has been recently exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic. The session took place in one hour and forty minutes on a Tuesday evening on July 23rd, 2020, in David’s and Jill’s Tuesday training group at Stanford. Live personal work is one form of training that is vital to professional growth and learning, so it is extremely beneficial for the person who volunteers for the role of “patient.” At the same time, the live work also provides superb learning for those observing the process, since you can see what is really happening during a T.E.A.M. therapy session. Hopefully, you will learn a great deal as you listen to Dan’s live and uncensored therapy session. Jill and I feel very grateful to Dan for allowing us to publish such an intensely painful and personal experience. You will likely feel grateful to Dan as well! All live therapy sessions tend to be dramatic and illuminating from a variety of perspectives. Today’s session is unique in that the A = Assessment of Resistance was outstanding and unique. The remarkable changes that occurred would not have been possible without outstanding E = Empathy and A = Assessment of Resistance, which were stellar. However, the M = Methods portion of the session was also strong, especially in the use of humor and role-reversals during the Externalization of Voices to blast Dan’s Negative Thoughts out of the water. That portion of the session confirmed by the three basic tenants of cognitive therapy: You FEEL the way you THINK. All of your negative feelings are caused by your thoughts in the here-and-now, and not by the actual events in your life. In other words, the COVID-19 pandemic cannot “cause” anyone to feel depressed or anxious. Depression and anxiety are the world’s oldest cons. When you’re depressed, anxious, or angry, the Negative Thoughts that upset you will not be valid. They’ll be distorted and illogical. Depression and anxiety are the world’s oldest cons. You can see the ten cognitive distortions I first published in my book, Feeling Good, at the bottom of Dan’s Daily Mood Log (link). You can CHANGE the way you FEEL. The very instant you stop believing your distorted thoughts, your feelings will change. Recovery is not a long, drawn-out process that requires weeks, months, years or decades, as so many people believe, including the majority of mental health professionals. Recovery happens in a flash, an unexpected “ah-ha” moment when your perceptions of the world are suddenly transformed. You will witness such an event in today’s session. Now let’s see what actually happened! T = Testing Take a look at Dan’s Brief Mood Survey (BMS) at the start of the session. He was feeling moderate to severe depression, no suicidal impulses, and just a little anxiety and anger. His Happiness score was quite low, only 7 out of 20, paralleling his depression score of 12, and his satisfaction with his relationship with his wife was a perfect 30 out of 30. He indicated he’d been doing a lot of psychotherapy homework. This, by the way, is the latest version of the BMS. We’ll ask him to complete it again at the end of the session to see what changes occurred during the session. Because the BMS asks how Dan is feeling “right now,” it’s like an emotional x-ray machine, allowing therapists to see exactly how much, or how little, a patient is changing at every therapy session. The patient’s scores at the start of the next session also allow the therapist to see exactly what happens between sessions in multiple dimensions. At the end of today’s session, Dan will also fill out the Evaluation of Therapy Session (ETS), and rate Jill and David on Empathy, Helpfulness, and Session Satisfaction, and indicate how willing he is to do psychotherapy homework, whether he had unexpressed negative feelings during the session, and whether he had difficulty filling out any of the survey questions honestly. The BMS and ETS are invaluable tools that have been game-changers in psychotherapy. To my way of thinking, it is difficult, if not impossible, to do good therapy, much less outstanding therapy, without these powerful and extremely accurate tools. They have the potential to radically transform clinical work and have been an important key in the evolution of TEAM. E = Empathy After briefly reviewing Dan’s starting scores on the BMS, Jill and David empathized while reviewing the Daily Mood Log that Dan filled out prior to the start of the session. The upsetting event was sitting at home on a Friday night with nothing to do, since his wife was studying for an upcoming exam. He points out that when he’s busy doing therapy, he generally feels fine, but sometimes when he has nothing specific to do, intense negative feelings suddenly hit him and take all the joy out of life. As you can see, his feelings on his Daily Mood Log are similar to his feelings on the Brief Mood Survey but some are far more intense, since he’s focusing on a moment of angst. If you look at his Negative Thoughts, you will see that they all revolve around a common theme that life has no meaning, since people are suffering and dying all over the world, and since all of us will also die one day. He says, “the good things that happen are just like dust in the wind,” and tells himself that “life is unfair.” Dan explains that in the last couple of years he’s experienced several painful events. He got married, but got divorced after just three months when things did not work out with his wife. But he’d sold his condo, and his practice was not going well, and he could barely pay his bills, so he had to move back home with his mother, who then died of cancer. Then, right after she died, things suddenly took a turn in a far more positive direction. He began dating and found an extremely loving and wonderful woman in 2017, whom he married last October, and his clinical practice began to blossom around the same time, so he and his wife were able to purchase a new home. But still, the Negative Thoughts kept popping unexpectedly into his mind, and they can turn feelings of joy (“Wow! I really came back”) into despair in an instant (“I’ll probably lose everything again, and it makes no difference because I’ll eventually die.") David pointed out this is a little like PTSD, when you’re suddenly reminded of a previous trauma and get overwhelmed by angst. And the frequency and intensity of these sudden despair attacks have increased since the start of the pandemic. Dan gave Jill and David an “A” on empathy after about 30 minutes of listening without trying to “help,” and this was a sign that we could move on to the next portion of the session. A = Assessment of Resistance Jill asked Dan if he wanted help tonight, or needed more time to talk and vent. He said he was ready to roll up his sleeves and get to work. His goal was to reduce or eliminate his negative thoughts and feelings, if that was possible. Jill asked if he’d press a “Magic Button,” if that would cause all of his negative thoughts and feelings to instantly disappear completely, with no effort, and he said he would. Almost everyone says they’d push it—which is completely understandable. When you’re in great pain, we all want relief! Jill indicated that we did have powerful tools, but weren’t convinced it would be such a good idea to use them to eliminate Dan’s feelings, and suggested we might first make a list of indicating: What each negative thought and feeling showed about Dan and his core values that were positive and awesome. How his negative thoughts and feelings might be helping him. Doing this skillfully is an art form, since it is radically different from the inept “cheerleading” so many therapists and family members attempt when a loved one is feeling down. You will hear this process unfolding when you listen to the audio of the session. Notice how Dan’s memories of the death of his older brother when he was just three years old and the recent death of his mother bring tears to his eyes, and help him change the way he thinks about his angst, not as something “bad,” but as something beautiful that honors his mother and his brother who passed away. But this is just the tip of the iceberg, as a long list of positives emerges during this portion of the session, which is designed to melt away subconscious “resistance” to change. The A = Assessment of Resistance is really the secret key that opens the door to the possibility of rapid, profound, and lasting change. David and Jill make it look easy, but it is, in reality, quite challenging to learn, because it goes against the very grain of our human inclination to try to “help.” Instead, Jill and David are assuming the role of Dan’s resistance, and showing him, in a gentle and loving way, that his negative thoughts and feelings are not actually symptoms of a defect or “mental disorder, but are really the manifestation of something positive and beautiful about Dan. David and Jill are selling Dan on the status quo and are still NOT trying to “help.” Paradoxically, this procedure typically has the opposite effect of greatly intensifying the patient’s determination to change. But now, the therapists have put Dan into a confusional state, and bind. On the one hand, he desperately wants to change. He doesn’t want to continue throwing cold water on the cherished positive moments in his life. But at the same time, if he presses the Magic Button, all of the positives will go down the drain along with his negative feelings. This is resolved with the Magic Dial. David and Jill ask Dan if he’d be willing to dial his negative feelings down to some lower level instead of lowering them all the way to zero. You can see his goals for each negative feeling on the “% Goal” column of his Daily Mood Log. M = Methods Now David asks Dan which Negative Thought he wants to work on first. He chooses this one: “It’s pointless in life to strive towards anything, because, in the end, we are all going to die.”  Dan believes this thought 80%. While identifying some of the many distortions in this thought, he comes up with this Positive Thought: “Some things are worth striving for!” This thought is 100% true, and his belief in the Negative Thought suddenly drops to 10%, as you can see on his Daily Mood Log (Daily Mood Log.) Next, he wants to work on this thought, which he believes 60%:  “People are dying in the world right now, so I don’t deserve to relax and have fun.” After identifying five distortions in this thought, he challenges it with this Positive Thought: “Although the deaths of so many people are tragic, it isn’t my fault that people are dying all over the world.” Dan rates his belief in this thought at 100%, and his belief in the Negative Thought drops to zero. Then he decides to work on this thought: “I’ve had so many good things happen in the last several years, but I can’t enjoy them, since it’s inevitable that I’ll lose those things.” He adds, “After all, what goes up, must come down!” After a couple of rounds of Externalization of Voices with Jill, he still couldn’t completely crush this thought, so David steps in to give it a try, with Dan playing the role of the Negative Thoughts and David playing the role of Dan’s Positive Thoughts. David interrupts Dan’s verbalization of this thought with some irreverent Buddhist humor. At that moment, Dan suddenly “gets it,” and the floodgates open up as Dan crushes the thought. Some people have called this “ah-ha” moments the “cognitive click.” It’s like waking up from a trance or nightmare, and the patient suddenly sees the world in a radically new and far more realistic light. Jill and David complete the M = Methods portion of the session by challenging the rest of Dan’s Negative Thoughts using Externalization of Voices, including role-reversals with the Self-Defense Paradigm and the Acceptance Paradox. I think you will find these exchange fascinating, and you will hear the tides coming in and the tides going out as Dan sometimes struggles and then defeats all of his Negative Thoughts. You can review Dan’s end-of-session mood ratings on his Daily Mood Log as well as his end-of-session Brief Mood Survey and his ratings of Jill and David on the Evaluation of Therapy Session. The Necessary and Sufficient Conditions for Emotional Change If you look at Dan's Daily Mood Log at the end of the session , you will see that the belief in each Positive Thought was high, and that his belief in the corresponding Negative Thoughts was drastically reduced. This is exactly why his feeling suddenly changed so dramatically. Cognitive Therapy (including TEAM) is NOT about telling yourself positive things or uttering positive affirmations. Instead, it's about crushing the distorted thoughts that trigger all of your negative feelings. The very moment you stop believing your Negative Thoughts, your feeling will instantly change. At the end of the session, Jill gives Dan a critically important “homework” assignment. Listening to the audio of a session and doing written work with the Daily Mood Log are vitally important aspects of TEAM. What happens between sessions is just as important as what happens within sessions! Thank you for listening today, and a HUGE thanks to Dan! I hope you learned a ton, on many different practical plus philosophical levels, and enjoyed today’s live therapy session! The Tuesday group at Stanford is free to all Bay Area mental health professionals as well as graduate students in some form of mental health training. The only “fees” involve a commitment to consistent attendance and the willingness to use the BMS and ETS with all patients, plus the willingness to do homework between Tuesday groups so you can really learn and master the very challenging TEAM techniques. Rhonda and David

Last week you heard Part 1 of David’s TEAM Therapy session with Neil Sattin, who became pretty despondent and discouraged right after the first shut down because of the covid-19 pandemic in March of 2020. David and Neil went through the T = Testing and E = Empathy parts of TEAM, and David helped Neil develop a Daily Mood Log so he could record his negative thoughts and feelings at one specific moment at the end of a day when he was feeling like he hadn’t gotten enough work done. Perhaps you’ve had the same problem at times! Today you’ll hear the A = Assessment of Resistance and M = Methods parts of the session. As they begin, David asks Neil the Magic Button and Miracle Cure questions, and Neil says that he definitely does want help and would push the Magic Button to make all of his negative thoughts and feelings on his Daily Mood Log disappear. David cautions against that and suggests Positive Reframing, asking two questions about each negative thought and feeling. What does this thought or feeling show about you that’s positive and awesome? What are some potential benefits, or advantages, of this thought or feeling? Here’s Neil’s list of Positives: My sadness: Shows that I’m ambitious Motivates me to achieve a lot Shows that I have high standards My anxiety: Shows that I’m responsible Keeps me vigilant Fuels me to take action Reminds me that I’m doing important things My guilt: Shows that I have a moral compass My feelings of defectiveness and inadequacy: Show that I want to be a good role model Show that I’m willing to be honest about my flaws Show that I hold myself accountable Show that I’m humble My feelings of being alone show that: I value connections with others Allow me to feel close to people My feelings of embarrassment and humiliation show that: I have high standards and goals I want my life to mean something I value acceptance My discouragement shows that: I have a vision I’m realistic about the many challenges I face and the sheer volume of work I have to do I’m willing to face the truth My frustration shows that: I’ll persevere. I won’t stop and give up. Feeling annoyed and irritated: Shows that I won’t tolerate things that get in my way Gives me energy and determination Feeling overwhelmed: Reminds me that I might be taking on too much Protects me from trying and failing Shows that I’m looking for ways to take care of myself. After listing these positives, Neil used the Magic Dial and indicated that he’d like to dial down his negative feelings to lower levels, rather than getting rid of them entirely, as you can see in the “% Goal” column of his Daily Mood Log. Then they moved on to M = Methods, focusing first on Neil’s Negative Thought (NT): “I’m not capable of getting organized. After identifying a number of distortions in the thought, Neil was able to generate a positive thought that fulfilled the necessary and sufficient conditions for emotional change: The Positive Thought (PT) has to be 100% true. The PT has to drastically lower your belief in the Negative Thought. You can see this on his DML. David and Neil used a variety of techniques, including Externalization of Voices, to challenge the rest of his NTs. Neil re-rated his negative feelings at the end of the session. They all feel to zero except feeling alone, which went from 80 to 5, which was his goal. Rhonda and David

Today, the Cognitive Distortion Starter Kit Continues with Magnification and Minimization Rhonda begins by reading two beautiful, inspiring emails from Heather Clague, MD and Dipti Joshi, PhD.  Heather and Dipti are dear friends and esteemed colleagues of David and Rhonda. Rhonda and David begin with a brief overview of distortion #6: Magnification and Minimization. Magnification is when you blow things out of proportion. This is common in anxiety and is also called “Catastrophizing.” For example, during panics patients often tell themselves—and believe—that they are on the verge of something catastrophic, like a stroke, a sudden, fatal heart attack, or losing their minds and becoming hopelessly psychotic. Minimization is just the opposite. You shrink the importance of something like your good qualities or the things you’ve accomplished. Minimization is common in depression. Magnification and Minimization almost always play a big role in procrastination as well. For example, you may Magnify the enormity and difficult of the task you’ve been putting off, and Minimize the value of just getting started on it today, even if you only have a few minutes. I sometimes call this distortion the “binocular trick” because it’s like looking through the opposite ends of a binocular, so things either appear much larger or much smaller than they actually are. Techniques that can be especially helpful include Examine the Evidence, the Semantic Technique, Little Steps for Big Feats, the Experimental Technique, the Double Standard Technique, and Externalization of Voices / Acceptance Paradox. Rhonda brings these techniques to life in a description of a depressed man she recently treated who’s been divorced for 2 to 3 years, and living alone due to the Shelter in Place orders during the Covid-19 pandemic. Although he’s lonely, he’s telling himself that he’s “too depressed and scattered” to be in a relationship. At the start of the session, he feels: sad, 90% panicky, 50% ashamed, 50% worthless 50% alone, 90% hopeless90% frustrated, 90% upset, 90%. Rhonda describes her skillful and compassionate TEAM treatment of this man, starting with the Magic Button, Positive Reframing, and Magic Dial, followed by Identify the Distortions, the Paradoxical Double Standard Technique, and Externalization of Voices (including the Acceptance Paradox, the Self-Defense Paradigm, and the Counter-Attack Technique, or “Cat”) Rhonda brings these techniques to life in a description of a depressed man she recently treated who’s been divorced for 2 to 3 years, and living alone due to the Shelter in Place orders during the Covid-19 pandemic. Although he’s lonely, he’s telling himself that he’s “too depressed and scattered” to be in a relationship. At the start of the session, he feels: sad, 90% panicky, 50% ashamed, 50% worthless 50% alone, 90% hopeless90% frustrated, 90% upset, 90%. These techniques were tremendously helpful, and at the end of the session, he no longer believed his negative thoughts about himself and his negative feelings all fell to zero. He recovered, essentially, in one extended (3-hour) TEAM therapy session. David and Rhonda discuss the impact of this type of experience on the therapist as well as the patient. Obviously, the patient feels fantastic, but Rhonda said she also felt “rejuvenated,” with much warmth and kindness. I (David) always feel this as well at the end of an amazing session. Rhonda and David

Over the last few decades, technology has drastically changed the processes around making. With tools like 3D printers and laser cutters hitting the consumer market, the ability to manufacture is now much more accessible. Listen as Erin and Bree discuss how technology has impacted their creative approach, and how it’s not always for the better. […]

With the "Shelter in Place" orders in California, we are recording these podcasts from our homes instead of from the Murietta Studios.  The sound quality may not be as high as usual while we are learning to use the new technology. (I apologize for the echo in this week's podcast. It won't be there again-Rhonda) Let us know what you think!  Thank you, David & Rhonda David and Rhonda are joined again in today’s podcast by Jeremy Karmel, who is working with David on the new Feeling Great app. In our first Corona Cast, we promised to present an example of how TEAM-CBT can be helpful for individuals who feel depressed and anxious about the personal impact of the pandemic. Rhonda kick starts today’s session by describing her treatment with a patient we're calling Alice just a few days ago. Alice woke up feeling stressed and having trouble settling in and getting to work. If you click here, you can see how she filled out the first few steps of the Daily Mood Log just before the start of her session with Rhonda. The Upsetting Event was simply waking up and feeling out of sorts. She circled and rated her negative emotions, which were fairly intense, especially the feelings of depression, anxiety, inadequacy, despair, frustration. Her anxiety was only minimal, but she was also feeling tremendously "jittery." Why was Alice feeling so upset? Her feelings didn't result from the corona virus epidemic, but from her thoughts about it. As you can see, she was telling herself: 1.      This could be the new normal. 2.      My life is going to waste. 3.      I should be handling this better. 4.      I could catch the virus and die. 5.      No one is in charge. She strongly believed all of these thoughts except #4, which she only believed 40%. You may recall that in order to feel upset, two things must be true: You must have one or more negative thoughts on your mind. You must strongly believe these thoughts. How are we going to help Alice? In the old days, I would have jumped right in to help Alice challenge her Negative Thoughts, but now we have a far more powerful and systematic approach called TEAM-CBT, as most podcast fans probably already know! These are the four steps of TEAM-CBT: T = Testing. Rhonda tested how Alice was feeling at the start and end of the session. E = Empathy. Rhonda provided warmth and support without trying to "help" or "cheer-lead." A = Assessment of Resistance. This is one of the unique aspects of TEAM-CBT, and it's the secret of ultra-rapid recovery. Rhonda used the Miracle Cure Question, Magic Button, Positive Reframing, and Magic Dial to bring Alice's "resistance" to change to conscious awareness, then quickly reduced it before trying to "help." M = Methods. Rhonda helped Alice identify the many cognitive distortions in her thoughts. For example, her first Negative Thought, "This could be the new normal," was an example of All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Mental Filtering, Discounting the Positive, Fortune Telling, and Emotional Reasoning. The goal of the M = Methods phase is to crush the Negative Thoughts that  are upsetting you. Do you know how to do this? You have to come up with a Positive Thought that has two characteristics: It must be 100% true. Positive affirmations and rationalizations and half truths are worthless. Cognitive therapy is based on the Biblical idea the "The truth shall set you free." The Positive Thought must drastically reduce your belief in the Negative Thought you've recorded on your Daily Mood Log, and ideally your belief in it will go all the way to zero. In fact, the very instant you stop believing the Negative Thought, your feelings will change, and often quite dramatically. Rhonda helped Alice challenge her Negative thoughts with a powerful technique called the Externalization of Voices. For example, Alice was telling herself that "I should be handling this better" because she'd been having trouble adjusting to the home isolation and had been procrastinating instead of focusing on her writing, and she was also telling herself that "My life is going to waste," thinking she'd be procrastinating and feeling miserable forever: "The new normal." The Positive Thought that crushed it was, "I have a lot of experience as a self-starter, and I've got eight weeks of free time now to write, which is pretty awesome. In addition, I can give myself a break, instead of putting myself down, and give myself a little to regroup!" After all, there are hundreds of millions of people around the world who are feeling isolated and in distress, and probably most of them aren't being nearly as productive as they usually are, but clearly, that isn't going to go on forever! Instead of putting yourself down, you can give yourself some support and encouragement, in exactly the same way you might talk to a dear friend. Once Alice crushed her Negative Thoughts with strong Positive Thoughts, her feelings suddenly changed. Although the session was only one hour long, Alice experienced incredible improvements in how she felt, thanks to Rhonda's compassion and skillful guidance. Alice's depression went from 95 to 5, and her anxiety dropped from 95 all the way to zero. The rest of her negative feelings dropped to very low levels or zero as well. Did it last? Long-term follow-up isn't possible for such a recent session, but she did call Rhonda the next morning to say that she woke up Feeling Great . . . which is the name of my new book, due for release in September. You can see the cover below! If you want, pre-ordering on Amazon may be available by the time you hear this podcast. In next week's Corona Cast 3, we will switch our focus to the impact of the pandemic on personal relationships, using a real example of a young woman named Zeina who felt her mother, aged 72, was not being sufficiently careful about social distancing. Zeina felt panicky because she feared her mother would get the virus and die. They ended up arguing and feeling frustrated with each other. We will illustrate a sophisticated TEAM-CBT technique called "Forced Empathy" that brought tears to Zeina's eyes, and we'll also talk to you about how you can improve your relationships with friends and loved ones as well during these challenging times. Thanks for tuning in, and let us know what you thought about today’s program! Until next time, Rhonda, Jeremy, and David  

With the "Shelter in Place" orders in California, we are recording these podcasts from our homes instead of from the Murietta Studios.  The sound quality may not be as high as usual until we all get the necessary recording equipment, and learn the new technology.  Please bare with us during this transition.  Thank you, David & Rhonda David and Rhonda are joined in today’s podcast by Jeremy Karmel, who is working with David on the new Feeling Great app, and Dr. Alex Clarke, a former student of David’s who is practicing TEAM therapy / psychiatry at the Feeling Good Institute in Mountain View, California. One of our loyal podcast fans, Phil McCormack, sent a heartwarming email which read, in part: In light of the pandemic taking us into uncharted territories, I thought it might be interesting to hear of some tips from you that would help folks deal with the situation, kind of like the David’s Top Ten Tips podcast but this one focused on the hysteria which is prevalent as I write. I’m sure your fans would appreciate it and it might be a good jump start for your new book and app, both called Feeling Great. I realize you are incredibly busy and don’t expect an answer. And if you want to tell me to screw myself, I can use your techniques to handle that! I responded like this: Thanks, Phil. I’m trying to put together at least two or three podcasts on the coronavirus from a variety of perspectives! Might read you question to kick start the first one we do, if that’s okay. david Phil immediately shot back this email: You’re an animal! I have no idea of where you get all your energy and motivation–obviously your techniques work (drug free!) so that must be part of it! Kudos to you for all your effort. It is so, so much appreciated!! I sincerely hope you someday get the recognition you deserve!!! I think Feeling Great might be your ticket... Hope so. Please feel free to read question and thanks for not telling me to “screw myself!” Really appreciate that! Phil How cool is that! Rhonda and I are planning several podcasts on this important topic including today’s as well as a podcast on how Rhonda used TEAM to help a woman with severe feelings of depression, anxiety, inadequacy, despair and frustration about the current corona crisis in a single session. We are also planning podcasts on how to communicate with friends and loved ones during the crisis, as well as a survey to assess changes in mood (depression, anxiety, anger, relationship satisfaction and happiness) since the corona virus hit, and possibly  more. When the survey is ready, we’ll announce it and send you a link in case you’d like to let us know how you've been feeling, and how your feelings might have changed since the virus hit! Rhonda kick starts today’s session by reading a list of negative thoughts from folks who are freaked out about the corona virus, including these: Negative Thoughts with Probable Cognitive Distortions The world will turn into an apocalypse. I’ll be a carrier and won’t know it and then I'll infect my partner and children who will get really sick. I’m divorced and I think my ex- will try to keep me from my kids. She won’t be as vigilant as I am about keeping our kids healthy. They’ll get sick and infect me. I’m looking for a job right now, but no one will be hiring for a long time and I’ll never get a job. I won’t have enough money to pay my rent and I’ll be evicted from my apartment and end up homeless (or) my business will go out of business. I won't have enough money to have fun for several months. My parents will contract the virus, especially one of my parents who has some chronic health stuff, and get really sick or die. I’m going to get cabin fever. I will lose a sense of self/connection to reality with how surreal everything is. People in my life will die from the virus. * * * Negative Thoughts that are Probably Not Distorted The numbers of infected people are way higher than what's being reported because there's no testing The pandemic is worsening. The pandemic will get much worse than we realize now. Needier populations -- people who have lost work who really need it (restaurant workers, hotel, caterers, production staff, people with no savings, etc) — will suffer. The social fabric is going to break down. Things are going to continue worsening as climate change worsens. I live too far from my parents to help take care of them. Rhonda, Alex, David, and Jeremy begin by discussing several of the basic ideas of TEAM-CBT. We feel the way we think. In other words, the events of this world—like the corona virus—cannot have any effect on how we feel. All of our negative and positive feelings result from our thoughts, or “cognitions.” This idea goes back nearly 2,000 years to the teachings of the Greek Stoic philosopher, Epictetus, who said that people are disturbed, not by the things that happen, but by our views of them. Some negative feelings are healthy and some or not. Healthy fear is not the same as neurotic anxiety. Healthy sadness is not the same as depression. Healthy remorse is not the same as neurotic anxiety. And so forth. Healthy anger is not the same as unhealthy anger. Healthy negative feelings result from valid negative thoughts, like “We are in danger because of the spread of the corona virus, and we need to be vigilant to protect ourselves and our loved ones.” Unhealthy negative feelings result from distorted negative thoughts, like "The world will turn into an apocalypse." Anxiety, panic, and depression, in contrast, result from distorted negative thoughts, like many of those that Rhonda read. For example, think about this thought: “My parents will die and I may never see them again.” Review the list of  cognitive distortions and see if you can spot some! This thought is likely to be at least somewhat distorted since your parents probably won’t die. For example, in China there have been around 3,300 deaths so far, and the epidemic has finally been slowing in the past few days. Since there are more than a billion people in China, the odds that you or someone in your family will die, while significant, appear to be incredibly low. So while there is clearly some risk, the distortion would be Magnification, Fortune Telling, and Emotional Reasoning, the three distortions that trigger all feelings of anxiety. In addition, you can see your parents right now if you like, using Skype, for example. So, while that thought also contains a grain of truth, it arguably involves Discounting the Positive as well. In spite of these considerations, TEAM therapist don’t try to “fix” or “help” just because someone may have distorted negative thoughts. Trying to help without first addressing therapeutic resistance is the most common error therapists make, and the most common error most people us make. For example, you will hear politicians telling people to “stay CALM,” or trying to encourage people with good news or promises which sometimes don’t seem entirely honest. Instead of jumping in and trying to "help," TEAM-CBT therapists first ask the person who is upset if they are looking for help. Sometimes, people aren't asking for "help" or cheer-leading, they just want someone to listen and provide validation and support. If the person does want help with negative feelings like panic, depression, frustration, loneliness, or inadequacy, we do a little thought experiment and say: "Imagine that we had a Magic Button, and if press it, all your negative feelings will instantly vanish, with no effort, and you'll feel terrific. Will you push the Magic Button?" Most people say they'd gladly push the button! Then we say that while we don't have a Magic Button, we've got some tremendous techniques that could help them reduce or even eliminate their negative feelings, but don't think it would be such a good idea to do that because their negative thoughts and feelings may be expressions of their core values as a human being, and what is most beautiful and awesome about them, and that their may be some important benefits, or advantages of their negative thoughts and feelings. And maybe we should list those before making any decision to press the Magic Button and make everything disappear. If you're upset, you can try this right now. First, circle your negative feelings and estimate how strong each category is, between 0 and 100%. If you click here, you can see an example of this on the Emotions table of the Daily Mood Log of a woman who was upset about the corona virus scare. Then ask these two questions about each feeling: What does this negative feelings show about me and my core values that’s positive and awesome? What are some benefits or advantages of this negative feelings are. How might it help me, or my loved ones? I call this new technique Positive Reframing. In other words, I want to honor your negative thoughts and feelings before we think about changing them! This is called Positive Reframing and it is the key to the incredibly rapid changes we typically see when using TEAM-CBT.  Typically, we come up with a list of a long list of compelling positives. Then I point out that if they push the Magic Button, all those positives will go down the drain, along with their negative feelings. Would they really want to do that? Now you're in a trap, or dilemma. One the one hand, you are suffering and desperately want to feel better. But at the same time, you don't want to lose all of those awesome positives! Fortunately, we can resolve this paradox. Instead of trying to make your negative feelings disappear by pushing the Magic Button, imagine that we had a Magic Dial instead, and you could dial each negative feeling down to a lower level that would allow you to keep all the positives on your list, and still feel better. What would you dial each type of negative feeling down to? For example, if you're feeling 80% panic or 90% depressed or angry about the corona virus, and you could dial each emotion down to a lower level, what would you dial them down to? You can see an example of this if you click here. As you can see, this person has put these new levels in the "% Goal" column of the emotion table. Jeremy provides a touching real life example of this. He feel intense anger because his fiancé, a nurse—is working in a hospital with a shortage of protective masks. He becomes tearful when he realizes that his anger is actually an expression of his intense love for her. The change in how he feels is almost instantaneous, and touching. The group further illustrate this by using Positive Reframing with many of the negative feelings our podcast listeners like you may be having. Jeremy concludes by drawing a critically important distinction between Positive Reframing, which is nearly always helpful, and “cheer leading,” which is rarely or never helpful, and  can actually be downright irritating! This table below highlights some of the critical differences. Is Positive Reframing Just Cheerleading Warmed Over? by David and Jeremy Cheer Leading Positive Reframing You’re trying to cheer someone up to make them feel better. You are highlighting the benefits of NOT changing. You say generally nice things about someone, like “you’re a good person,” or “you’re a survivor,” or “don’t be so hard on yourself.” The positives are not general but embedded within specific negative thoughts and feelings. You don’t acknowledge the validity or beauty of the person’s negative thoughts and emotions. In fact, you’re trying to tell them that they’re wrong to feel upset! This is always preceded by doing superb empathy. Positive Reframing is actually a deeper form of empathy because you’re honoring the patient’s core values. Cheerleading is irritating to almost everybody who’s upset, because you aren’t listening or showing any compassion or respect. The effect is enlightening and leads to feelings of relief, pride, peace, and acceptance. You’re trying to control the other person. You’re telling them how they should think and feel. There’s no acceptance. You’re Sitting with Open Hands. You’re bringing hidden motivations to conscious awareness so they can decide where to steer the ship. Hollow praise sounds dismissive, glib, and insincere. This technique is very difficult and challenging to learn because you have to let go of the idea that you know what’s best for other people. Thanks for tuning in, and let us know what you thought about today’s program! Oh, if you clicked on the two links to the Daily Mood Log of the woman who was intensely upset about the corona virus, and want to find out what happened in her magical TEAM-CBT session with Rhonda, tune in to our next CoronaCast! Until then, Rhonda, Alex, Jeremy, and David

Today, Rhonda and David answer several challenging questions submitted by listeners like you. What schools of therapy are embedded in TEAM? Do negative feelings cause negative thoughts? Or do negative thoughts cause negative feelings? Or both? Or neither? “Can TEAM-CBT help bipolar patients during the depressed phase?” How do you make Externalization of Voices work? I get stuck! For example, my patient said, "It's unfair that I cannot get a job!" Is there a cure for OCD? 1. What schools of therapy are embedded in TEAM? Dear Dr. Burns, I have some questions specifically about T.E.A.M. therapy. You mention in a blog post that T.E.A.M. therapy "integrates features and techniques from more than a dozen schools of therapy." I'm aware of many of the CBT techniques you use, but I don't think I've read yet of any technique belonging to any other schools of therapy. Would you be so kind as to mention such techniques? Madelen Hi Madelen, This is important because I believe we need to get away from competing schools of therapy and need to create a new, data-driven structure for therapy based on research on how therapy works, which is what TEAM is. At the M = Methods part of the session, you can include methods from any school of therapy. Here are some of the schools of therapy that I draw upon TEAM-CBT. Individual / Interpersonal downward arrow: same (psychoanalytic / psychodynamic) Flooding / Experimental technique: behavior therapy (exposure) Externalization of Voices: Gestalt / Psychodrama / Buddhism Acceptance Paradox: Buddhism Self-Defense Paradigm: REBT CBA / Paradoxical CBA / Devil’s Advocate: Motivational techniques Identify the distortions / examine the evidence: cognitive therapy Empathy: Rogerian (humanistic) therapy Five Secrets / Forced Empathy: Interpersonal therapy Shame-Attacking Exercises: Humor-based therapy / Buddhism Be Specific / Let’s Define Terms: Semantic Feared Fantasy: Role-Playing / Psychodrama / Exposure One-Minute Drill / Relationship Probe: Couple’s Therapy Time Projection / Memory Rescripting: Hypnotherapy Anti-Procrastination Sheet: Behavioral activation therapy (Lewinsohn-type therapy) Brief Mood Survey / Evaluation of Therapy Session: data-driven therapy Talk Show Host / Smile and Hello Practice / Flirting Training: Modeling / teaching effective social behavior Storytelling: indirect hypnosis. Positive Reframing: Paradoxical psychotherapy. Hidden emotion technique: psychoanalytic / psychodynamic Do you need more? Can provide if you want. Let me know why you have this particular interest!At any rate, I really enjoyed and appreciate your thoughtful questions, thanks!David 2. Do negative feelings cause negative thoughts? Or do negative thoughts cause negative feelings? Or both? Or neither? Hello Dr Burns, I would like to thank you for your podcasts. I greatly enjoy listening to them and find them very much helpful both in my personal life and my work as a psychologist. I do have a question: you talk about how cognitive distortions cause anxiety and depression. Are cognitive distortions also a result of depression and anxiety? For instance, if a person was to become depressed after experiencing loss, would they then discount the positive in their lives to a larger extent, for example? Thank you very much! Audrey Hi Audrey, Yes, depression creates a negative bias in perceptions, so you pick out information and details that support your distorted thoughts, like "I'm a loser" or "my case is hopeless." My research, which I'll report in my new book, Feeling Great (sept 2020) indicates that negative thoughts trigger feelings of depression and anxiety, which, in turn trigger more negative thoughts. This is a negative vicious cycle. There is also a positive cycle, in that positive thoughts that you believe to be true trigger positive feelings, which, in turn trigger more positive thoughts! Thanks for the question, Audrey. david  3. “Can TEAM-CBT help bipolar patients during the depressed phase?” Name: Sarah Comment: Hi, Dr. Burns. I am a big fan of your work and very much enjoy reading your blogs and listening to you and Fabrice on you weekly podcasts. I am writing with a question that has to do with the depression side of bipolar disorder and the potential usefulness of CBT. I have not heard you speak about this topic before. My sister in law lives in Switzerland and has been diagnosed with a fairly severe case of bipolar disorder. She does not cycle rapidly, but her manic and depressive states are quite severe. In fact, she has been hospitalized several times during her manic episodes. For the first time in her life, I believe my sister in law has finally accepted the fact that she is bipolar, and she is actively pursuing treatment and trying to get better. After hearing me talk about all the great information I have learned from you, my husband has hunted down several CBT practitioners in Switzerland, in the hopes that changing my sister in law’s thoughts will help her navigate the overwhelming depression she is currently experiencing. Unfortunately, most of the practitioners she has contacted have said that they cannot help her, because she has bipolar disorder. Of course, this is only adding to her sense of hopelessness. In your opinion, could CBT and challenging negative thought distortions be helpful to someone who is bipolar and currently experiencing the depressive side of the disease? In my mind (a layperson who has used CBT to help with panic disorder) it seems so obvious that it could help, but several Swiss psychotherapists seem to disagree with me! Are these therapists afraid to take on a complicated case or is there really nothing they can do? I would love to hear your take on it. Thank you so much for your endless work helping people to feel good! Sarah David will describe his experience running the lithium clinic in Philadelphia at the VA hospital, and will discuss the very important role of good psychotherapy for bipolar patients, although medications will also play an important role in the treatment. 4. Externalization of Voices: How do you make it work? I get stuck! "It's unfair that I cannot get a job!" Dear Dr Burns and Rhonda, I've just finished listening to all of the Feeling Good Podcasts. What a gift! My immense gratitude to you and Fabrice for the time and effort that has gone into these podcasts, as well as the wonderful show-notes. I am a family physician and I work with impoverished patients, many of them refugees. Depression and anxiety are common. We can't find CBT therapists for our patients within their means, so I end up trying to provide some counselling despite not having much background or training (a dangerous proposition, I know, but we have little choice.) Medications tend not to be too helpful, as David points out. I am starting to try to integrate TEAM concepts. I have a question about Externalization of Voices. In all of the examples you've shared in the podcast, whenever David does a role reversal and models the positive voice, he always seems to "win huge". I'm less experienced and find I'm not batting 1000. What do you do when neither you nor the patient have been able to win huge? Many thanks again for all you do, Calvin PS The episode on How to Help and How Not to Help was one of the best yet! Hi Calvin, Thanks for the kind comments! Can you tell me what the thought is that you’ve failed with? All the best, David D. Burns, M.D. Hi David, There have been a couple of examples where we could only get a small win. With the first patient, the thought he was tackling was: "It's not fair that I've worked so hard in life, but I can't get a job." I tried modelling self-defense, along the lines of "I've accomplished a lot given how many challenges I've faced." I also tried suggesting the Acceptance Paradox with something like: "It's true that life's not fair. Who said it should be fair?" This was only a 'small win.' I felt stuck. Another patient felt her chronic insomnia was driven by anxiety. She feared she would never sleep well again. The though was "I'm going to be chronically tired and no longer able to enjoy life the way I used to." We tried: "Sure, I may be more tired than I used to be, but I'll still be able to enjoy life to some extent." Again, this was a small win, not enough to crush it. Thanks again for your willingness to help! Calvin David’s response Hi Calvin, All therapeutic failure, pretty much, results from a failure of agenda setting. I’m not sure you’ve been trained in A = Paradoxical Agenda Setting. The A of TEAM is now also called Assessment of Resistance. When people can’t easily crush a Negative Thought, it is nearly always because they are holding on to it. This is called “resistance.” Let’s focus on the first thought, "It's not fair that I've worked so hard in life, but I can't get a job." This thought triggers anger, and anger is the hardest emotion to change because it makes us feel morally superior and often protects us from feelings of inadequacy, failure, or inferiority. If you do not deal with the underlying resistance to change, the patient will defeat your efforts. When you do Positive Reframing, you start with a Daily Mood Log with one specific moment when the patient was upset and wants help. The anger will be only one of a large number of negative emotions the patient circles and rates, and there will always be numerous negative thoughts as well. The negative feelings might also include sad and down, anxious, ashamed, inadequate, abandoned, embarrassed, discouraged / hopeless, frustrated, and a number of anger words like annoyed, resentful, mad, and so forth. This is super abbreviated, but you would then do A = Paradoxical Agenda Setting (also now called Assessment of Resistance.) You would start with a Straightforward or (better in this case) Paradoxical Invitation—does the patient want help with how he’s feeling? You might tell him he has every right to feel angry and upset and might not want help with his negative feelings as long as he has no job. If he insists he DOES want help, you can ask the Miracle Cure Question, and steer him toward saying he’d like all of his negative thoughts and feelings to disappear, so he’d feel happy. Then you can ask the Magic Button question. If like most patients, he says he WOULD push the button, you can tell him there is no Magic Button, but you DO have lots of powerful techniques that could be tremendously helpful. But you’re not sure it would be a good idea to use these techniques. When he asks why not, you could say it would be important to look at the positive aspects of his negative thoughts and feelings first. Then you do Positive Reframing, and together you can list up to 20 or more positives that are based on each negative emotion and each negative feeling. To generate the list of positives, you can ask: 1. What are some benefits, or advantages, of this negative thought or feeling? 2. What does this negative thought or feeling show about me, and my core values, that’s positive and awesome? For example, My sadness is appropriate, given that I don’t have a job. If I was feeling happy about this, it wouldn’t make sense. The sadness shows my passion for life, for work, and for being productive. My anger shows that I have a moral compass and value fairness. My anxiety motivates me to be vigilant and to look for a job, so I don’t get complacent and starve. My anxiety, in other words, is a form of self-love. My anger shows self-respect, since I have a lot to offer and contribute. My hopelessness or discouragement shows that I’m honest and realistic, since I have tried so often and failed. This is just an example, and with a real patient, it can be very powerful as I have the facts and know the patient, whereas in this example I am just making things up. Then once you have a long and incredibly compelling list, you can ask, “Well, given all of those positives, why would you want to press that Magic Button? If you push it, all these positives will go down the drain at the same time that your negative thoughts and feelings disappear. Then you resolve the patient’s dilemma with the Magic Dial. All this is done AFTER E = Empathy (you have to get an A from your patient) and BEFORE using any M = Methods, like externalization of voices. If you do this skillfully, the Externalization of Voices technique will go way better, because the person will be determined to reduce the anger and other negative feelings. But if the patient says he or she does not want to change, and wants to be intensely angry, that’s fine, too! If this is not clear enough, you could also get some paid case consultations from someone at the Feeling Good Institute, which could be invaluable. This is the most challenging and valuable tool of all! Not sure how much training you’ve had in TEAM.  There are online classes that are excellent. Also, on my workshop page you can check out my upcoming workshop with Dr. Jill Levitt on resistance. There are podcasts, too, on resistance / paradoxical agenda setting as well as fractal psychotherapy. Thanks! David 5. Is there a cure for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? Hi Dr. Burns, I have been suffering from OCD and depression post the delivery of my daughter and have been on antidepressants for the last 7 years. I have recently start going for counseling too with a psychologist. In fact, she is the one who recommended your book which I am finding very useful. Your website is very helpful too. I had just one general question: Are OCD and Depression 100% curable or are they only controllable and one has to be on medicines for the rest of their lives? Reason why I am asking this is the last time we tried to taper down the medicines I ended up having a worse relapse. I want to know if I can plan for a second pregnancy. I know you do not reply to personal messages but would really be grateful if you could reply to this mail Looking forward to hearing from you Regards "Betsy" In my dialogue with Rhonda, I emphasize that I rarely use medications in the treatment of anxiety and depression, including OCD, and I would urge this listener to use the search function on my website to search for podcasts and blogs on antidepressants, anxiety, OCD, and Relapse Prevention Training, and you will find lots of specific resources. For example, if you type in OCD, you will find the Sara story (episode 162) plus lots of additional great resources on OCD, including podcasts 43 - 45 (this page provides links to all the podcasts), and more. Also, my books, When Panic Attacks, and the Feeling Good Handbook, could be very helpful, and you can link to them from my books page. I use four models in the treatment of OCD, and you can find them if you listen to the basic podcasts on anxiety and its treatment. They are the Hidden Emotion Model, the Motivational Model, the Exposure Model, and the Cognitive Model. All are crucial important for recovery, and clearly explained in the podcasts on anxiety. Thanks for listening today, and thanks for all the kind comments and totally awesome questions! David and Rhonda

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In today’s podcast, Rhonda and David are honored to interview Dr. Michael Greenwald, a courageous clinical psychologist who helped make the Atlanta Intensive a truly amazing event. Michael volunteered for the live demonstration to work on his lifelong problem with social anxiety, which seems to be a popular topic these days, and likely a personal problem for many podcast fans. My co-therapist was Thai-An Truong, a highly respected TEAM therapist and TEAM therapy trainer from Oklahoma City. Thai-An also joins today’s podcast via Zoom and dialogues with Michael for the first time since the intensive. The session with Michael was powerful and inspiring, with a good 50% of the audience in tears (of joy) at the end. Michael recorded the session on his cell phone, but the quality was not up to the quality of our podcast recordings, so he agreed to fly up to the “Murietta Studios” from his home in Los Angeles so we could at least describe what happened and share the magic with you. If we can find a way to do some sound enhancement on the cellphone recording of the session, we will likely publish it as a separate mid-week podcast for those who like to hear the incredible therapeutic process unfolding in real time. If you review Michael’s Daily Mood Log at the start of the session, you’ll see that he was feeling depressed, anxious, ashamed, worthless, lonely, self-conscious, discouraged and stuck, and all of these feelings were intense. In addition, he told us that he wasn’t feeling much joy, self-esteem, pleasure or satisfaction in his life. But the strongest feeling was anxiety. He said that coming up on stage to face his fears was an enormous challenge, and that this was the first time he’d ever done something like this. We will do T = Testing again at the end to see what changed, and by how much. We’ll also ask Michael to complete the Empathy and Helpfulness surveys, so we can find out how he experienced Thai-An and David during the session. You may be saddened by the upsetting event Michael recorded at the top of his Daily Mood Log, which was “sitting with my son and trying to make conversation with him.” He said their conversations were always pretty superficial, and that he would typically leave the room after short interactions with his son because he felt so anxious. Here’s an example of a typical exchange. Michael’s son, a graduate student in clinical psychology, was working on his applications to internship programs. Michael: What’s up? Son: I’m working on my applications to internship programs. Michael: That’s good. How’s it going? Are you getting them in on time? Son: Yah, it’s fine. Michael: Are you completing them? Do you want me to look at them? Son: All fine. If you review the negative thoughts on Michael’s Daily Mood Log, you’ll see that he felt like a failure as a father because he did not know how to get close to his son or how to tell him just how much he loved him. He was telling himself things like this: Something is wrong with me because I can’t talk to him. 100% I am failing him as a father. 100% He deserves so much better than me. 100% He must wish he had a different father. 95% And more. I was sad to see that Michael had been beating up on himself pretty badly for years, and I'm pretty sure that the therapists in the audience felt the same way, because it was so clear that he was a tremendously humble, giving and loving father who was totally devoted to his sons. I found myself thinking, "My gosh, I wish I'd been half the father that Michael is!" The E = Empathy phase of the session lasted about 30 minutes. Michael indicated that Thai-An and I had done a good job, and that he felt understood and accepted, so we went on to A = Assessment of Resistance in a step-by-step manner, using these tools: The “Invitation Step” to find out if he was ready to roll up his sleeves and get to work on his social anxiety The “Miracle Cure” question to find out what he hoped would happen in the session The “Magic Button,” to see if he’d want all of his negative thoughts and feelings to disappear suddenly, just by pushing it “Positive Reframing,” asking Michael these two questions about each negative thought or feeling: “What does this negative thought or feeling show about you and your core values that’s positive and awesome?” “What are some benefits, or advantages, of this negative thought or feeling?” At first, these questions didn’t make any sense to Michael, since he was so used to thinking about his negative thoughts and feelings in a negative light, thinking they were “bad” and were the result of some kind of personality defect or mental disorder, like “social anxiety disorder” described in the DSM5. This is also the hardest part of TEAM-CBT for therapists to learn, because it is so anti-intuitive. But as the list of positives grew, Michael began to “get it,” and we could actually see his mood lightening up before our very eyes. It was so cool, and this was the first hint the audience had that something remarkable was afoot. This, for sure, is one of the most powerful and innovative components of TEAM-CBT. The “Pivot Question” and “Magic Dial” Question. Michael decided it wouldn’t be such a great idea to press the Magic Button, since then all of the positives on the Positive Reframing list would go down the drain along with his negative thoughts and feelings. He decided, instead, to dial down his negative feelings to much lower levels that would allow him to feel better without losing any of the positives. You can see this on the “% Goal” column of his DML For example, he decided that it would be desirable to dial his depression down from 85% to 20%, since some sadness was appropriate, given his difficulties getting close to his son. In fact, if his depression disappeared completely, it would be like saying he didn’t really care. Michael decided to dial down the rest of his negative feelings as well in the range of 5% (for discouraged and stuck) to 15% (for anxiety), and 10% for the rest of his negative feelings. This ended the A = Assessment of Resistance phase of the session, and that took about 25 minutes. We then went on to M = Methods, focusing on his negative thoughts, one at a time, and attacking them with a variety of techniques like Identify the Distortions, Externalization of Voices, Acceptance / Self-Defense Paradigms, Examine the Evidence, and the Paradoxical Double Standard Technique. At the end, we went into the audience so Michael could ask participants if they were judging him, and what they thought about him as a father. This is called the Survey Technique, and it is usually pretty threatening to people with social anxiety, or any of us, really! But as you’ll hear in the podcast, the feedback he received was jaw-dropping. Thai-An joined us at the end and dialogued with Michael about the loneliness he’d struggled with, as well as how he could most effectively share his feelings of love and insecurity with his son. His “homework” after the session was to call his son and report back to all of us the next morning! The next morning, Michael reported that he’d had the most phenomenal dialogue ever with his son! He was practically floating on air, and reports that after the intensive, his life has changed dramatically in many ways, including: A terrific relationship with his son. Feelings of true joy, even ecstasy, that he’d never previously experienced or even thought possible. Way better connections with people in general, due to being open and vulnerable for the first time. Greatly improved clinical experiences as a result of using TEAM-CBT in his clinical work. In fact, he is thinking of starting a free weekly TEAM-CBT practice group in the Los Angeles area, and hopefully opening a Feeling Great treatment center somewhere down the line. Make sure you contact Michael if you are interested joining his weekly practice group. (drmichaeldg@gmail.com) You can see his amazing mood scores at the end of the session on his final DML. He also gave us perfect scores on the Empathy and Helpfulness scales, and described his experience as a “transformation.” After the session, he added that he’d seen that people really could improve quickly during other live demonstrations at my workshops, but felt skeptical that a TEAM session could trigger joy, even euphoria, as he’d never actually felt those kinds of feelings. But now, he realized this was actually possible! I would like to thank Michael, as well as my amazing co-therapist, Thai-An Truong. Thai-An is located in Oklahoma City and specializes in treating post-partum depression with TEAM-CBT. She also does one-on-one case consultation as well as awesome online TEAM training for mental health professionals, including free weekly webinars as well as her “TEAM-CBT bootcamp intensives.” If you would like to contact Thai-An, she can be reached at Thai-An Truong thaian@lastingchangetherapy.com. After the show was recorded, I received this amazing email from Michael. I think you'll enjoy it! Dr. Burns, Just some additional thoughts I'd like to mention about the changes I've noticed since the Atlanta therapy demo. The ones you put in the show notes are totally accurate. But the positive changes I've experienced since the demo go way beyond those. I'm not writing this to suggest you include these; I'm great with what you wrote. I only wanted to elaborate a bit on how things have been for me because it's such an incredible change for me. Please feel free to add to the notes, or not, at your discretion. And by the way, we are now two months post-demo and my mood scores remain essentially at zero with high positive feelings. My stress tolerance has increased a great deal. Prior to the demo, when I made a mistake or did something stupid, I would rip into myself with intensely harsh criticism and self-judgment (I think I shared with you about the time I dropped the bottle of Cologne as one example showing the different reactions to myself). Now, when the same sorts of things happen, those harsh voices are absent or merely a whisper, and easily dismissed. So there is no accompanying self-hatred like before. I'm far more outgoing with people in general. I feel closer than ever to my friends and family. I've been more present and available to my friends and family. I'm more open and far less defensive than I've ever been in my life. I feel more positive feelings than ever, and I laugh more than ever. I have more compassion for others as well as for myself. I'm more aware of my emotional world and have more access to my feelings. I'm able to connect more with others in general. The types of situations that would trigger feelings of irritability or anger, no longer do. I'm more able to be available for others, whether in my personal or professional life. I'm closer with my wife, and, honestly, with everyone in my family and social circle. I've been in several social gatherings since the demo, and my levels of anxiety have never been lower, and my level of engagement and participation has never been higher; I'm like a different person. I'm more optimistic and hopeful than before. So I know this is a bit of rambling, but I just wanted to mention these things. As I  had discussed with you during our visit, I've been struck by how far-reaching the benefits of the therapy demo have been for me. We focused on the one moment of one problem on the DML. We blew away those negative thoughts and feelings. That outcome, had it been limited to that specific target, would have been amazing and a total success for me. But as per your model, that was a 'fractal'. And the change in the brain circuits happened with that fractal and the new networks were created, and I feel that they continue to grow. For me, it's truly been the opposite of the drop of ink in the glass of water, discoloring everything, as a distorted thought or belief will do. The therapy demo was the drop of 'clarity' that shined the light on all my distorted thoughts and beliefs at one time. Maybe that's corny, but this is what it feels like to me. So feel free to use or not use any of this as you see fit. I only wanted to mention these things. There's more, but I think this gives the flavor. Thanks again. Love, Michael Thanks for listening today! By the way, if you are looking for CE credits or training in TEAM-CBT, my upcoming workshop on therapeutic resistance on February 9, 2020 will be a good one. You'll learn how to use the techniques described in today's podcast. See below for details and links! David    

Rhonda and David address a question from Karolina, a therapist in Poland who was failing with a depressed patient who felt totally convinced he was a “useless” human being. I think you will find their discussion of this case fascinating, as it deals with the cause of practically ALL therapeutic failure, and illustrates the solution al well, using TEAM-CBT methods and concepts. Today’s podcast is intended for therapists and patients alike! For the show notes, we are including the email David received from Karolina, as well as his initial response. Dear Dr. Burns, I've been listening to your podcast for 6 months now and it's been so helpful with my work as a therapist as well as in my personal life. I'm starting to develop a habit of considering every unwanted state with a "what does it say that's awesome about me?" and I'm much happier now :). I'm wondering if you'd consider helping me some more. I have a client who's been struggling with depression for many years. At the moment he's doing ok and his mood is up. Lately the topic of his uselessness came up again and he's willing to work on that. He said he'll consider the possibility that he's not a useless human being and asked me to not to dismiss the possibility that he is - that's how he'll know that I'm not just trying to cheer him up. It's been bugging me ever since. Although I've agreed, I really can't find in me any part that is ready to think that. I strongly believe he's not a useless person. I can't imagine labeling anyone in that way and in his case it feels so personal as I like him very much and I care about him. I'm starting to have dreams about our next session when I fail him by trying to convince him to think as I do. How can I be open about our conclusion when my mind is already fixed? Any thoughts on this would be deeply appreciated. Best wishes from Poland Karolina Hi Karolina, Thanks! The term has no meaning. It is just a vague put down, like what a bully might say. I might ask him what time of day he was feeling useless, and then have him fill out a Daily Mood Log for that moment, step by step. We can only help him at one specific moment. You can use a large number of techniques but must first get an A on Empathy, and then do effective paradoxical agenda setting, starting with the Paradoxical Invitation Step and then asking “what type of help would you be looking for?” then you can do the Magic Button and Positive Reframing. All of the negative thoughts and feelings on the Daily Mood Log will be advantageous and will show something about him that is awesome and positive. You should be able to generate a list of at least 25 overwhelming positives. Then you can use the Magic Dial. When you get to M = Methods, you can put the thought, “I am a useless human being” in the middle of a recovery circle, and then select a minimum of 16 methods to challenge it. You can start with Identify the Distortions. There are likely at least 9 distortions in the thought, including AON, OG, MF, DP, MAG / MIN; ER; LAB; SH; SB. You can try, “let’s define terms,” and ask what’s the definition of a “useless human being”? You’ll find that no matter how you try to define it, The definition will apply to all human beings. The definition will apply to no human beings. The definition does not apply to him. The definition does not make sense. The definition is based on some kind of arbitrary cut-off points. You can do this as a role-play, being a close friend trying to find out if you’re useless, and asking him for guidance on how to find out. You can do the Paradoxical Double Standard Techniques, Downward Arrow, Hidden Emotion, Externalization of Voices, Acceptance Paradox / Self-Defense Paradigm, Examine the Evidence, Semantic Method, and on and on. The problem is NOT that he’s a “useless human being” but rather that he’s obsessing and wasting time on a meaningless construct, and beating up on himself. The whole key to success will be agenda setting. You can take the position that maybe this is not something that he really wants to challenge, since it may be working for him, and also reflects all those 25 wonderful things about him. The whole key to success will be agenda setting. You can take the position that maybe this is not something that he really wants to challenge, since it may be working for him, and also reflects all those 25 wonderful things about him. Remember that just about 99.9% of therapeutic failure results from Agenda Setting errors. Is this something you want to help him with, or something he is desperately asking you for help with? I am almost 100% positive that this is your agenda, not his. In fact, your need to “help” him with this may actually keep him stuck. In fact, here is the proof. You write: “I'm starting to have dreams about our next session when I fail him by trying to convince him to think as I do. How can I be open about our conclusion when my mind is already fixed?” If you don’t understand this, I recommend some supervision from a TEAM therapists or join one of the online classes, or attend my workshop on resistance, coming up in a month or so, check out my website workshop page for details. You can join online. David D. Burns, M.D. Hi Dr. Burns, Thank you so much for your quick and thorough response! I kinda felt that my "helping" is the issue here as I've felt my own frustration rising... Thanks for reminding me that uselessness is just a meaningless concept, I needed that. And I love the idea of role-playing as a friend asking for help with defining his uselessness. I'll pace myself, though, and give us time to walk through all the steps, especially Empathy and Agenda Setting and check how it goes and what my clients wants, not I. I appreciate information on the resources and supervision I can access online, so good to know there are options! You can use my real name, can't wait to hear the podcast :). Karolina Thanks for listening today! By the way, if you are looking for CE credits or training in TEAM-CBT, my upcoming workshop on therapeutic resistance on February 9, 2020 will be a good one. You'll learn how to use the techniques described in today's podcast. See below for details and links! David

The Secret of a Meaningful Life One of my favorite podcasts of all time, and one of the most frequently downloaded, was the live session with Daisy (podcast #79): “What’s the Secret of a Meaningful Life?” You may recall that Daisy and her husband, Zane, were looking forward with dread to the possibility of childlessness, since their efforts at pregnancy had so far failed, and Daisy was asking if she could possibly have a joyful and meaningful life without children. In today’s podcast we return to the same type of question from the other end of the spectrum. When we age and look back on our lives, and realize that our days are numbered, we may once again, "Have I lived a meaningful life?" Do you know how to answer this question? What, in your opinion, is the secret of a meaningful life? If the answer to this question is important to you, you might enjoy today’s podcast, which features, once again, two beloved friends and colleagues, Dr. Marilyn Coffee and Dr. Matthew May. Matt and I first treated Marilyn for intense depression, anxiety, and anger two years ago at the time of her unexpected and shocking diagnosis of Stage 4 non-smoker’s lung cancer. Marilyn was incredibly depressed and panicky, as you might imagine. If you are interested, you can listen to our initial treatment of Marilyn in podcast #49, “The Dark Night of the Soul.” One of Marilyn's concerns at that time was that she had lost her faith in God and had begun to doubt the existence of an after-life. She was intensely self-critical and ashamed, and was also extremely angry because she began doubting her spiritual teachers and thinking of them as frauds. These doubts were all the more troubling to Marilyn, since she’d been a devout Catholic for her entire life. In fact, she  even has a Master’s Degree in theology, along with several additional Master’s Degrees plus a PhD in clinical psychology! But now she was terrified by the prospect of her own death. During that initial treatment session, Marilyn overcome her fears, depression, and doubts, and ended up in a state of joy, and even laughter. This rapid transformation confirmed the basis of cognitive therapy, that our emotional pain results from our thoughts, and not from what is actually happening to us. And the thoughts that cause depression and anxiety will be distorted and cruel--I've often said that depression and anxiety are the world's oldest cons. Following that session, we were flooded with emails praising Marilyn. Oddly enough, many people said she was their spiritual hero. They said they were stunned and grateful her raw courage, testimony, and honesty. Now, it’s two years later. Sadly, Marilyn has just learned from her doctors that she’s had numerous metastases, and that her lung cancer has spread to the opposite lung, as well as to her bones, brain, liver, and lymph nodes. Marilyn is understandably paralyzed once again by overwhelming feelings of depression, anxiety, shame, hopelessness, and anger. Today’s podcast is based on our most recent session with Marilyn about two weeks ago. I have to warn you that the session may be sobering, and even a bit terrifying, but hopefully you will find it to be inspirational and helpful, because sooner or later, we’ll all have to share the prospect of facing our own inevitable death, and asking ourselves, “Have I had a meaningful life?” We scheduled this follow-up live therapy podcast for three reasons. First, we hoped to provide Marilyn with some relief from the devastating depression that had returned when she learned of her metastases. Second, we wanted to give you, and all of Marilyn’s many fans, an update on what’s happened in the past two years. And third, Marilyn wanted the chance to tell you about some of the positives in her life, since she so often mentions her failures, such as her bouts with alcoholism, and the fact that she never found a loving partner. Every TEAM session begins with T = Testing. You can see her scores on the Brief Mood Survey she filled out just before the session began. (link) All her scores reflect the most severe negative feelings a human being can experience. Marilyn has extraordinarily severe depression, anxiety, and anger, and her positive feelings are totally absent. Marilyn brought a partially completed Daily Mood Log to the session. If you take a look, you'll see all of her intensely Negative Thoughts and devastating feelings about the spread of her cancer.  During the E = Empathy phase, Matt, Rhonda and I gave Marilyn the space she needed to vent and describe her despair and feelings of terror. We did not try to help or cheer her up. Marilyn cried as she described her fear of dying alone, and vividly recalled a friend who died a horrible death from lung cancer 20 years ago. Marilyn says he could barely breathe, and fears a similar horrific fate. Marilyn cries, and confesses that she has not been able to cry up until now. She says she suddenly felt a spiritual presence being around Matt, Rhonda, and David. During the Empathy phase, Matt made many tender comments to Marilyn, shared his own profound sadness, and told Marilyn that joining us today is a gift to him, and to all of us. Matt and I asked Marilyn how we were doing in Empathy, in terms of understanding how she was thinking and feeling, and whether we were providing warmth, acceptance and support. She gave us high grades. When you listen, please notice that we didn’t do anything to try to help Marilyn, or to try to cheer her up. You can hear Matt simply paraphrasing much of what Marilyn had been saying, acknowledging her feelings, and sharing his own feelings of sadness and warmth toward Marilyn. After about 25 minutes of empathy, we moved on to the next phase of the session called A = Assessment of Resistance (formerly called Paradoxical Agenda Setting.) We started by asking Marilyn if she wanted any help with the problems she'd been describing, or if she needed more time to talk while we listened and provided support.  She said that she did want help. Since her remaining time was potentially short, she said she didn’t want to spend it in the misery of overwhelming depression, anxiety, worthlessness, shame, loneliness, hopelessness, and rage. Then I asked the Magic Button question—If we had a Magic Dial, and all of her negative thoughts and feelings would instantly disappear, with no effort at all, simply by pressing it, would she press the button? Marilyn immediately said that she WOULD press the button. Almost everybody says this. And it seems obvious. Why would anyone want to feel intense, relentless and overwhelming negative emotions? Matt, Rhonda, and David debated about whether or not the A = Assessment of Resistance would be needed, since it seemed like Marilyn was suffering so much that she would OBVIOUSLY want help. We decided to address the resistance, since whenever we’ve skipped it, we’ve usually regretted it. So just to be safe, we decided to do some Positive Reframing, and asked these two questions about each of the nine categories of intense negative feelings on Marilyn's Daily Mood Log, such as depression, anxiety, guilt, inferiority, loneliness, hopelessness, rage, and so forth. What does this negative feeling show about you and your core values that’s beautiful, positive and even awesome? What are some benefits of this negative feeling? How might it help you? Surprisingly, Marilyn came up with a list of more than 20 positives with some help from Rhonda, Matt and me. You can take a look at her Positive Reframing List. This process seemed to have a profound calming effect on Marilyn, just as it does on most people. I think one reason is that culture / society have trained all of us to think about our negative feelings as defects, or “mental disorders,” like the many that are listed in the DSM5. Positive Reframing turns all of this upside down, and makes you proud of your negative feelings. Paradoxically, this make it possible for you to get rid of the feelings quickly. We concluded with the Magic Dial, and asked Marilyn what she might want to dial her feelings down to, without getting rid of them completely, since they did have many benefits, and since they also reflected what was most beautiful about her. You can see the result of the Magic Dial on her Daily Mood Log, in the “% Goal” column of her table of negative emotions. For example, she wanted to dial her depression down to 10%, but thought that she'd want to keep the anxiety in the range of 20 - 25. But she said she'd be happy to dial the guilt and shame all the way to zero! After the A = Assessment of Resistance, which seemed to lift her mood considerably, we went on to M = Methods. After easily identifying the distortions in her thoughts, like All-or-Nothing Thinking, Self-Blame, hidden Should Statements, and more, Marilyn was able to challenge and crush her Negative Thoughts pretty quickly using the Paradoxical Double Standard Technique as well as Externalization of Voices. Two strategies seemed important—the Self-Defense Paradigm and the Acceptance Paradox. I emphasized the overlap between the Acceptance Paradox and Marilyn’s Catholic faith. It is the idea that you cannot, and not have to, earn your way to heaven through your good works. Christianity is based on the idea that we are not saved by our achievements or good work, but rather by the grace of God--which is simply the acceptance of our flawed nature. David emphasizes that these ideas are not exclusive to Christianity, but are woven into most if not all religions. During this phase of the session, Marilyn reflected on some of the experiences that she’s proud of, things she would like you to know about, like her trip to Nicaragua to attend seminary at the Franciscan School of Theology. During that time, she worked with the oppressed indigenous people in relocation camps following the bombings, and joined the Witness for Peace group.  She describes this as "one of the most transformative and spiritual experiences of my life." Many of you are probably not familiar with Marilyn's fairly extensive arrest record, which she is equally proud of! She explains: "During the 80s and early 90s, I was arrested several times for political protests, primarily at the Federal Building in San Francisco.  For example, I participated in a major non-violent prayful march at Lawrence Livermore Laboratory.  Several of us were arrested and spent a month in jail (tents on the grounds of Santa Rita Jail.)" Marilyn also wants to know that she was "a damn good therapist." That's something I can attest to, having presented with Marilyn on many occasions, including our empathy workshop at one of the prestigious Evolution of Psychotherapy conferences in Anaheim, California. And still, all of her amazing accomplishments and contributions do not protect her, or any of us, from falling into a black hole of self-doubt and despair from time to time, and when Marilyn falls, the pain she inflicts on herself can be intense. You may notice that the Negative Thoughts on her Daily Mood Log today are very similar to the Negative Thoughts on her Daily Mood Log from two years earlier, during our first session with Marilyn. This confirms the concept of “fractal psychotherapy.” In other words, all of your suffering will be encapsulated in any one brief moment when you are upset. And when you suffer again in the future, it will be that same fractal--the same exact pattern of negative thoughts, distortions and feelings. This is really good news, because the methods that helped you recover initially will be helpful for you when you again fall into the black hole of depression. The goal of TEAM-CBT is NOT eternal happiness--no human being is capable of that! Rather, the goal is to understand and master the tools that will be helpful for you. One important teaching point is that Marilyn’s suffering, once again, does not result from her cancer, but rather from her self-critical thoughts, which are both cruel and distorted. She’s been telling herself that she is not religious enough, that she has lost her faith, and that her life has not been meaningful. Fortunately, these Negative Thoughts can easily be challenged and defeated, as you will hear on the podcast. The entire basis of cognitive therapy is a spiritual idea, that “the truth shall make you free.” Although this is a core Christian teaching from the New Testament (John 8: 32), it is an idea that’s embedded in many religions, including Buddhism, and probably in every religion. Toward the end of the session, Marilyn described inspiring moments when she feels the most spiritual and the most alive. It’s when she notices and profoundly appreciates the simple things in her life, like seeing a sliver of the moon in the evening when walking her dogs, watching a sunset on the beach at Santa Cruz, her first sip of latte in the morning or a bite of a delicious peach! Marilyn also described the intense mourning she feels for people throughout the world who are in poverty or pain. She also grieves for animals who are suffering, and feels devastated by the destruction of our natural resources, such as the rain forests in Brazil. You can see the final T = Testing . As you can see, she met or exceeded her goals for all of her negative feelings. You may be puzzled by the end of session rating for sadness and depression was "50%, but a GOOD 50%!" Sometimes, feelings of sadness and grief, once the distortions have been eliminated, are are the experiences that can wake us up, and provide the profound sense of meaning we are craving in our lives. The highest human experience, perhaps, is the compassion we sometimes feel for ourselves and others who are suffering. In fact, this may be the true meaning of spirituality. I call this feeling, "Sadness as Celebration," and hope to write and talk more about it in a future podcast.  At the end of the session, Marilyn said, “I feel light!” And gave us all big hugs. Will it last? Matt wisely suggests some terrific Relapse Prevention Training that you will hear when you listen to the session. Of course, it will be up to Marilyn--and to all of us--to pick up these tools and use them when we again fall into a black hole. This is also an inherently spiritual idea, and is based on the idea that we have the freedom to chose light or darkness. After the session, Marilyn emailed me and asked if I could include a few additional comments in the show notes. Here’s what she wrote: Greetings David, my dearest friend, Words cannot express my gratitude for you, Matt, & Rhonda - what special gifts you are. I hope the podcast was ok. I am deeply embarrassed because I forgot to express my gratitude and surprise from all the e-mails we received - the compassion and support was/is overwhelming. I hope I can give back! I could never had done this, if I weren’t for you & Matt - and your amazing & compassionate skills. I also forgot to mention that I probably will never get to New York or Ireland because of finances. I take one day at a time and try to be grateful for the small miracles. I go to Stanford next Tuesday. I will definitely be in touch. Thank you again. I also forgot to mention this - which is VERY important is that I am going through this process sober - not avoiding with alcohol. I am going to more meetings & speaking up. Thank you again. I cherish our friendship. With deep gratitude and love. dear friend, Marilyn Thank you, Marilyn, for this incredible gift to all of us! Matt, David, and Rhonda

One Student’s Experience In today’s podcast, Rhonda and I are super-pleased to interview Kyle Jones again. For some time now, Kyle has been telling me that he wants to talk about his psychotherapy training experiences on a podcast. This subject is near and dear to my heart, since I do a great deal of training, so Rhonda and I decided to do this second interview with Kyle, and it’s a good one, I think! You may recall our recent interview with Kyle on his interesting research and perspective on the treatment of LGBTQ individuals several weeks ago. Kyle is a brilliant and super-friendly 5th year graduate student in clinical psychology at Palo Alto University, and has been a member of my Tuesday evening psychotherapy training group at Stanford for the past four years as well. Kyle now sees patients at the Feeling Good Institute in Mt. View, California. He has also been promoted to small group leader in our Tuesday group, and does superb work as a teacher. During today’s interview, Kyle, Rhonda and I focus on many critically important training and treatment issues. Kyle states that he has been exposed to many fine teachers promoting a wide variety of popular treatment “packages” at the Palo Alto University and at his practicum sites, including traditional CBT, ACT, EMDR, psychodynamic therapy, and more. However, in all cases, the therapist was encouraged to “sell” this or that approach to the patient. Unfortunately, this has a tendency to trigger resistance, and is the main cause of therapeutic failure in clinical settings as well as controlled outcome studies as well. Paradoxical Agenda Setting, which is the secret spice of TEAM Therapy, was never mentioned in his training at Palo Alto University. When you do Paradoxical Agenda Setting, you bring the patient’s subconscious resistance to conscious awareness, and then you melt it away with a variety of innovative techniques like the Magic Button, Positive Reframing, Magic Dial, Acid Test, Gentle Ultimatum and more. The rapid reduction the patient’s resistance often leads to the high-speed, mind-boggling recoveries we frequently see in TEAM-CBT. Kyle emphasized that he has not see a single teacher or therapist even use the simple Invitation Step in therapy, in spite of the fact that it is so incredibly basic. Essentially, after empathizing with your patient, you ask if there is something she or he wants help with during the session, or if the patient needs more time to talk and get support. Most therapists wrongly believe that this question is unnecessary since the patient is coming to therapy, so he or she MUST want help. But in fact, nearly ALL patients have some degree of ambivalence about recovery, and if this ambivalence is ignored, the patient may, and probably will, resist the therapist’s efforts to “help.” Rhonda enthusiastically agrees that the Invitation Step is incredibly powerful and admits that it took her several years to “get it,” and that she also resisted using the Invitation Step it at first, thinking it wasn’t needed. But she failed her Level 3 Certification Exam in TEAM-CBT because she didn’t know how to do it! Once she began using it, her practiced changed dramatically. And then she easily passed her exam with flying colors! Intense therapist resistance to these new techniques is extremely common. I once supervised a clinical psychology post-doctoral fellow at Stanford who resisted using the Invitation Step with her patients for the first two months of our supervision. All she did was schmooze with her patients. Finally, I asked her why she wasn’t using the Invitation Step. She told me she was afraid her patients would say, “Yes, I DO want some help with problem X, Y or Z.” And then she might not know how to help them solve whatever problem they had! She said, “As long as I just schmooze with my patients, I know that nothing will change, but they’ll think it’s good therapy!” Fortunately, after we discussed this dilemma, she began using the Invitation Step, along with many other Paradoxical Agenda Setting techniques, and her clinical work improved a ;pt. Kyle also emphasizes the incredible value of the Brief Mood Survey and Evaluation of Therapy Session with every patient at every session, and yet most teachers and therapists in his graduate program, as well as those at his practicum sites, are not using these instruments. I think this is arguably an ethics violation, since therapists’ perceptions of how their patients feel can be wildly inaccurate. I predict that within ten years, all therapists will be required by licensing agencies and insurers to use these kinds of assessment instruments. The importance of assessment instruments in clinical work and training was underscored by my experience several days ago with a patient who gave me incredibly poor grades on empathy as well as helpfulness at the end of a free, two-hour phone session. I had sensed the session had not gone especially well, but I didn’t realize just how awful it was until I saw my ratings! The scores on Empathy and Helpfulness were among the worst I’ve received in the past 25 years. This was illuminating, but disturbing, as I’d been trying my best but I had clearly failed my patient in a big way, and he was ticked off! I would not have known just how angry and upset he was if I had not been using the Evaluation of Therapy Session. I had a fairly sleepless night, and emailed him the first thing in the morning to find out what emotions I’d overlooked, and urged him to express his angry feelings toward me. This led to a tremendous and highly gratifying therapeutic breakthrough. Kyle was generous in his praise for the training we do in our Tuesday group, and I feel extremely fortunate to have had the chance to work with Kyle! I am hopeful that the training methods my colleagues and I have been developing over the past 20 years will begin to catch on, but have to admit that I’ve run into fairly strong resistance from many therapists who fight and oppose our new training and treatment methods. By the way, the Tuesday group is totally free for all clinicians in the San Francisco Bay Area, or from anywhere for that matter. We’ve had commuters and visitors from as far as Denver, Portland, and even China. If you want to dramatically improve your therapy skills, and have an interest in some of the new treatment and training methods we’re using, and want free personal work as well, this might be an option for you, and we’d be really happy to have you visit and maybe even join us! David, Rhonda, and Kyle  

This Podcast Is Episode Number 0315, And It Will Be About Bookkeeping And Accounting Solutions For The Busy Contractor   The calls, emails, messages, and walk-ins that our company deal with every day come from construction contractors, spouses or significant other, construction bookkeepers, advisors, students, and financial planners among others. I do my best to offer support even if it does not lead to an immediate request for our services. The pressures of running a construction company are tremendous. Incoming money is usually unknown, but expenses and bills are due now. You are not alone; many contractors feel the same way. Owning a construction company is so much different from just working for another construction contractor, and in most cases, new contractors had no idea what is involved in the business end of the operation before they started. To make a lot of money in contracting, you need these three things, and that means paperwork: Since you got into the construction business because of your skills, Production is natural for you. If you do it slightly better than your competition, with proper Marketing and Accounting, you can make a lot of money. This is where we come in and help you succeed. Every construction company has common issues. To customize our service to your needs, we use a range of accounting tools and offer a variety of bookkeeping and accounting solutions for your business. I hope this list will give you clarity on what you need help with in your construction bookkeeping challenges (for more information please click on each photo): Bookkeeping Review A 36-Point list of the current issues with your bookkeeping file. If you are a start-up, handyman, trade, or general contractor and confused about the reports generated by your bookkeeper or accounting software and have questions like: How much cash I have in the bank? Who owes me money? Whom I owe money? What is my income for this year? Or What is my company worth? Then this is for you. Get a full, in-depth analysis and review of the biggest concerns you are having with QuickBooks or Xero and any other part of your contracting company. A comprehensive report only costs $29.95 and Contractor Bookkeeping Review with a 30-minute consultation costs $79.95, review with a 1-hour or 2-hour consultations are also available. Bookkeeping Trial Would you like to determine if our bookkeeping process will fit your construction business and test our services before outsourcing your accounting to us? Our $9.95, 14-Day Triple Play Trial might suit you. We will set up Xero, Workflow Max, and Xero Projects For Contractor for your construction company using your existing data. Trial count begins the day your account is set up. Payment Application QuickBooks For Contractors works well if you have a few simple invoices. The problem is when you get beyond two invoices - add some job deposits and change orders and the process gets really tricky because there's no "Magic Button" that will generate an invoice that makes sense to your client. These applications for payment invoices show the money trail from beginning to end in a way that your clients can understand and appreciate, which means you get paid faster and with less hassle. Buy it one time and use it as many times as you need, no need for license codes. It is designed from 1 to 15 consecutive applications and works well with Microsoft Excel or Google Sheets apps on your smartphone or tablet. Business Performance Report Recognize what's happening in your contracting business and how to take action when needed. Turn your accounting data into accounting intelligence. Assess your business performance, monitor trends, and identify improvement opportunities using a custom management and financial report produced from your bookkeeping files. This report will help you understand and improve your business profitability, cash flow, growth, and other Key Performance Indicators (KPI); and guide you in making better decisions for your construction company. You have an option to purchase the report for $29.95 or with Consultation starting at $79.95 for 30-minutes, 1-hour or 2-hour consultation are also available.    Outsourced Accounting Services We use QuickBooks Desktop In The Cloud for contractors who need extensive Financial and Job Costing reports while Xero Outsourced Accounting services saves us time in data entry which means substantial savings over QuickBooks. Our outsourced accounting work includes invoicing (Flat-Rate, Not-To-Exceed, Time & Material, Cost Plus), Washington State sales tax returns, payroll processing, quarterly tax reports, construction job deposits, work-in-progress, retention, residential and complex payment applications, liability insurance audits and business processes. QuickBooks Setup And Cost Codes Templates Have you had it trying to get QuickBooks to come up with Sales Tax Reports, Profit and Loss Reports, Job Costing Reports that make sense? This QuickBooks Set Up Desktop and Online Templates was handcrafted by a team of highly qualified Contractors, Construction Accountants, and Project Management Professionals for construction business owners like you who are using QuickBooks software. It's fast and easy to install, and your purchase comes with access to video instruction on how to set it up quickly (professional Installation is also available). Xero Setup And Cost Codes Templates Have you wasted time googling "Xero Online Set Up For Contractor" and gotten dazed and confused with all the free bad advice? Or did someone set up your Xero Online using the general guide? Chances are your Xero account is not set up correctly. We understand your frustrations that is why we made these templates available. You can spend hours figuring things out on your own, or you could do what you do best, make money in contracting, buy this template and be done with it. Your purchase comes with instructions on how to quickly import the accounts in less than 90 seconds.   Consultation And Training Our stand-alone consulting and training services are available as short as 15 minutes to 20 hours of consultation with Randal (you can schedule it in 1, 2, or 4-hour blocks spread out on different days). Focus on you and your needs and everything about you and your company and anything else you want to discuss. Everything in this meeting is all about you; because sometimes all a contractor needs is someone to listen. It is essential you work with someone who has been where you are now so together you can identify and remove the obstacles that keep you from achieving success.   Conclusion: We know how small, medium and large contractors work and think because we have spent many years as contractors before switching full time into Contractors Bookkeeping and Accounting Services. We have been where you are now which means we understand the day-to-day challenges you face. I have waited for hours for city and county inspectors to show and write off a permit and a hundred and one other things that happen in a contractors busy schedule. Those experiences plus many others are the soft part of what we bring to the table to help contractors. The amount of detailed construction accounting is based upon the size of your business now and where you want it to be in the future. We help a little or a lot depending on your needs and part of what I do is to help you understand what those needs are so you can make informed choices for your construction company. I look forward to being able to assist you with any option that best fits your business. 

Hello amigos This week , we have a producer / DJ Honduras *** Gabriel Mancia *** You Can follow the show: Sunday at 21.00 on Radio Vibration Bruxelles 107.2 FM - Mons 91.0 FM http://www.vibration.fm/player/brussels.htm Monday at 08.00 on HouseOfHouse Radio * http://houseofhouse.be/ * Tuesday at 21.00 on XBeat * http://www.xbeat.org * Wednesday at 22.00 on HouseOfHouse Radio * http://houseofhouse.be/ * TRACKLIST ---------------- 1. Malazinga (Chus/Ceballos dub mix) - GruuvElement's 2. Los Corazones (original mix) - Dennis Cruz 3. Your Love (Gunther Robles remix) - Alessandro Diruggiero, Rone White & Gunther Robles 4. Getcha Luv (original mix) - Sebb Junior 5. Changes (2017 Remaster) - LHK Productions 6. Trippy Phase (WAFF remix) - Joey Daniel & Eder Alvarez 7. Strawberry Jam - Moodena 8. Playzone- Michael Bibi 9. Wickeed (Joseph Mancino remix) - Lo Coco 10. Go Like This - James Cole 11. Trippy Phase (original mix) - Joey Daniel & Eder Alvarez 12. Magic Button (original mix) - Joey Daniel & Eder Alvarez 13. Mobius Strum & Dorian Chavez - MAE 14. Buzzy (original mix) - Lo Coco 15. Diskotech (original mix) - Rhoowax 16. Why -Wheats 17. No Good (club mix) - Mike Vale 18. Out Of Reach (original mix) - Loco Dice, William Djoko 19. Let Me Try - Kry Wolf, Dj Rae 20. Se Quema El Monte -Tini Garcia, Ramon Bedoya 21. Alma Negra - Ramon Bedoya 22. Wait No More - Eli Brown 23. Cartegena - Eli Brown 24. Colombiano (extended mix) - Erick Morillo

Most weeks, our episodes will be referred to as the Motivation Mile meaning that we want to share with you the motivation you need, encouraging you on your way, and provide those critical running tips to help you on your own running journey – all in the time it takes to run a mile. We are excited to launch our first podcast episode.  Don't miss a highlight of where we are headed, our format for the show, a little bit about the running coach, and finally our daily tip. In sum, our goal is to give you as much content as we can in a short amount of time to get you on your way. Each episode will feature that encouragement, motivation, and running tips from form to cross training, recover to race strategies, running in all types of weather to training tips, and everything in between. Our goal is to provide interviews with seasoned runners as well as new and intermediate runners to hear from their experiences and perspectives.  Who knows - you just might be on the next show! We appreciate our sponsor - Great 8 Virtual Races!  They are a new virtual race company with a launch of their own: their Run Across America race series starting with California!  You run when you want, how you want, where you want, and with who you want.  Get your beautiful, full colored Tyvek bib and hand-painted race medal by signing up today.  They offered our listeners a special discount to make sure to check out great8virtualraces.com/motivate today! We finish up our show discussing the runner's Magic Button.  Just what button is that?  You'll have to listen to find out. Come check us out on Twitter, check out our Motivate Me To Run group on Facebook, and even our show notes at motivatemetorun.com.

In this episode of Data Drivers, Wirecard’s General Counsel and VP of Compliance and Governmental Affairs muses to Karen Webster that one button to rule them all may be no mere fantasy — it’s just a ways off.

In this episode of Data Drivers, Wirecard’s General Counsel and VP of Compliance and Governmental Affairs muses to Karen Webster that one button to rule them all may be no mere fantasy — it’s just a ways off.

It's good news. Well, depending on who you are.

There is No Magic Button - Practical tips and motivation to teach you how to reduce, take a break or stop drinking. Due to popular demand I have recorded the chapters from my ebook into a podcast.

There is No Magic Button - Practical tips and motivation to teach you how to reduce, take a break or stop drinking. Due to popular demand I have recorded the chapters from my ebook into a podcast.

There is No Magic Button - Practical tips and motivation to teach you how to reduce, take a break or stop drinking. Due to popular demand I have recorded the chapters from my ebook into a podcast.

There is No Magic Button - Practical tips and motivation to teach you how to reduce, take a break or stop drinking. Due to popular demand I have recorded the chapters from my ebook into a podcast.

There is No Magic Button - Practical tips and motivation to teach you how to reduce, take a break or stop drinking. Due to popular demand I have recorded the chapters from my ebook into a podcast.

There is No Magic Button - Practical tips and motivation to teach you how to reduce, take a break or stop drinking. Due to popular demand I have recorded the chapters from my ebook into a podcast.

There is No Magic Button - Practical tips and motivation to teach you how to reduce, take a break or stop drinking. Due to popular demand I have recorded the chapters from my ebook into a podcast.

This Podcast Is Episode Number 0232 And It Will Be About Contractors Need These Key Resources To Run Their Company Smoothly Contractors Need Additional Resources To Smoothly Run Their Business Running a Construction Business is part serious, part white knuckles, part smooth sailing with moments of fun. Because those moments of fun can be few and far between every Contractor needs to have a little humor. Try to see the glass is half full when it really feels like you are in “The Wizard of Oz, ” and instead of going to Kansas you went somewhere else less fun.     To help free up your time we have numerous FREE Items on FastEasyAccounting.com and located on FastEasyAccountingStore.com. We want to help you make your work time as smooth as possible.  Construction Definitions includes the 8/20 Rule | Chaos | Five At Five For Five | Unlicensed Contractor   https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/free-construction-definitions-the-work-flow-process Construction Definitions A – Z is filled with Randalism’s including the humorous ones to the very serious.   11 Steps To Contractors Success | Experience | Four Dreaded Words | Leveling | Wealth Prevention Tool https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/construction-definitions-a-to-z Streamline Your Contracting Company Operations With Our Free Checklist You are an intelligent Contractor which means you know how to operate your construction company, and the biggest barrier to your success is getting your employees to do what you want them to do when you want them to do it, and do it the way you know works best. https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/contracting-company-operations-checklist Free Construction Estimate Template You need this simple estimate because you can use it anytime, anywhere. It has lines for description, quantity, rate, and amount. It automatically subtotals the items, adds sale tax or markup (if you need it) and totals everything.   https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/free-construction-estimate-template Free Invoice Template Built On Excel You need this simple invoice because you can use it anytime, anywhere. It has lines for description, quantity, rate, and amount. It automatically subtotals the items, calculates sales tax and totals everything for you! It is designed to record a payment and show balance due.  With many invoice forms, it is too easy to have a payment be treated as a credit when it is not applied properly on the form. https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/blog/bid/144649/free-contractor-invoice-template-on-excel In Washington State how you apply payments impacts the amount of sales tax is due and collected.   https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/free-invoice-template-form-for-contractors Free Construction Template Change Order Form For Contractors The purpose of the construction change order form is to help you make a prisoner on paper any conversations between your customer and you, the contractor, your project manager, superintendent, foreman, construction worker or anyone else who has conversations with your customer. https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/free-construction-template-change-order-form-for-contractors A lot of the money is made or lost on a job as shown in the profit and loss by job report can be traced back to how well construction change orders were handled. Customers remember and changes that reduce the amount they owe.  Expect some memory loss about the additions that replaced them.   https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/free-construction-template-change-order-form-for-contractors Free Contractors Application For Payment Sample For Construction Contractors Are You Having Problems Getting Paid On Large Projects? The problem is when you get beyond two invoices, add some job deposits and change orders the process gets real tricky because there is no "Magic Button" in QuickBooks for contractors that will generate an invoice that makes sense to your customer.https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/free-contractors-application-for-payment-sample-0 The Application For Payment Invoices shows the money trail from beginning to end in a way that everyone can understand and appreciate which means you get paid faster, with less hassle and your clients will love you for it! https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/free-contractors-application-for-payment-sample-0 Free Time Card Samples For Construction Contractors Employees need to fill out their time card daily for the most accuracy. The nature of employees it to fill their time card five minutes before they would like to collect their paycheck. See a variety of timecards that can be printed and manually filled out or are Excel and can be filled out on a computer.https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/free-sample-time-card-calculator-downloads Manual time cards are an improvement over no time cards at all.   https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/free-sample-time-card-calculator-downloads Electronic Timecards   Have your employees clock in and out using their cell phone. Recommend electronic time cards as the best way to not over handle the payroll information and have the information in a usable format for future reference.  https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/tsheets This Is The Tip - Of The Iceberg. Everything we publish in our blog posts, articles in other websites, and anything you can find on the web is nothing compared to what is available to you as our client. We show only the basic tools to open your mind to the possibilities that are available to you. The best finish carpentry tools in the hands of a golf professional without proper carpentry training will not produce anything near to what a skilled finish carpenter can. The same can be said about the best construction business consulting and accounting tools in the hands of a skilled finish carpenter. And I say that with respect and admiration for everyone in construction. If you are behind on your taxes and other bills. To get a line of credit, you need financials and you are receiving nasty phone calls and letters from Your Vendors and Government Agencies you may want to engage our services to do your bookkeeping. We try to keep the process as simple as possible. We Do Not Close Sales, We Open Relationships Hard Ball closing is not my style. You are added to our marketing workflow and receive a series of emails, but I do not call so often that you dread taking my call. We have solutions when you are ready.     I would love to chat with you about your business. Here is a link that tells you what to expect. https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/contractors-helpline Safe Driving This Labor Day Weekend. PS.  To everyone in the Houston Area.  Thinking Happy Thoughts in your direction. Washington State has had a nice summer – Please start sending back our Seattle rain; we miss it.       Enjoy your day. About The Author: https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/free-one-hour-consultation-bookkeeping Sharie DeHart, QPA is the co-founder of Business Consulting And Accounting in Lynnwood Washington. She is the leading expert in managing outsourced construction bookkeeping and accounting services companies and cash management accounting for small construction companies across the USA. She encourages Contractors and Construction Company Owners to stay current on their tax obligations and offers insights on how to manage the remaining cash flow to operate and grow their construction company sales and profits so they can put more money in the bank. http://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/sharie-dehart/ 206-361-3950 or sharie@fasteasyaccounting.com I trust this podcast helps you understand that outsourcing your contractor's bookkeeping services to us is about more than just “doing the bookkeeping”; it is about taking a holistic approach to your entire construction company and helping support you as a contractor and as a person. We Remove Contractor's Unique Paperwork Frustrations We understand the good, bad and the ugly about owning and operating construction companies because we have had several of them and we sincerely care about you and your construction company! That is all I have for now, and if you have listened to this far please do me the honor of commenting and rating podcast www.FastEasyAccounting.com/podcast Tell me what you liked, did not like, tell it as you see it because your feedback is crucial and I thank you in advance. You Deserve To Be Wealthy Because You Bring Value To Other People's Lives! I trust this will be of value to you and your feedback is always welcome at www.FastEasyAccounting.com/podcast This Is One more example of how Fast Easy Accounting is helping construction company owners across the USA including Alaska and Hawaii put more money in the bank to operate and grow your construction company. Construction accounting is not rocket science; it is a lot harder than that, and a lot more valuable to construction contractors like you so stop missing out and call Sharie 206-361-3950 or email sharie@fasteasyaccounting.com Contractor Bookkeeping Done For You! Thinking About Outsourcing Your Contractors Bookkeeping Services? Click On The Link Below: www.FastEasyAccounting.com/hs This guide will help you learn what to look for in outsourced construction accounting. Need Help Now? Call Sharie 206-361-3950 sharie@fasteasyaccounting.com Thank you very much, and I hope you understand we do care about you and all contractors regardless of whether or not you ever hire our services. Bye for now until our next episode here on the Contractors Success MAP Podcast. Enjoy your day.     Sharie About The Author: https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/free-one-hour-consultation-bookkeeping Sharie DeHart, QPA is the co-founder of Business Consulting And Accounting in Lynnwood Washington. She is the leading expert in managing outsourced construction bookkeeping and accounting services companies and cash management accounting for small construction companies across the USA. She encourages Contractors and Construction Company Owners to stay current on their tax obligations and offers insights on how to manage the remaining cash flow to operate and grow their construction company sales and profits so they can put more money in the bank. http://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/sharie-dehart/ 206-361-3950 or sharie@fasteasyaccounting.com Our Workflow Removes Your Paperwork Frustrations For Contractors Who Prefer To Do Your Bookkeeping Fast Easy Accounting Do-It-Yourself Construction Accounting Store Is Open Most Contractors Setup QuickBooks Desktop Version In One Of Three Ways: #1 EZ Step Interview inside QuickBooks Setup #2 Asked Their Tax Accountant To Setup QuickBooks #3 They Attended A How To Setup QuickBooks Class Or Seminar And QuickBooks Does Not Work The Way They Want It Too! The Answer: #1 Click Here To Buy An Entire QuickBooks Setup For Your Specific Contracting Company #2 Click Here To Buy Just The Chart Of Accounts For Your Specific Contracting Company   Short List Of Construction Contractors We Serve Asphalt ContractorAsphalt Contractor Brand New ContractorBrand New ContractorBrick And Stone ContractorBrick And Stone ContractorCabinet Installation ContractorCabinet Installation ContractorCarpentry ContractorCarpentry ContractorCarpet And Tile ContractorCarpet And Tile ContractorCommercial Tenant Improvement ContractorCommercial Tenant Improvement ContractorConcrete ContractorConcrete ContractorConstruction EmployeesConstruction EmployeesConstruction ManagerConstruction ManagerConstruction Support SpecialistConstruction Support SpecialistCustom Deck ContractorCustom Deck ContractorCustom Home BuilderCustom Home BuilderDemolition ContractorDemolition ContractorDrywall ContractorDrywall ContractorElectrical ContractorElectrical ContractorEmerging ContractorEmerging ContractorExcavation ContractorExcavation ContractorFinish Millwork ContractorFinish Millwork ContractorFlipper House ContractorFlipper House ContractorFlooring ContractorFlooring ContractorFoundation ContractorFoundation ContractorFraming ContractorFraming ContractorGeneral ContractorGeneral ContractorGlass Installation ContractorGlass Installation ContractorGutter ContractorGutter ContractorHandyman ContractorHandyman ContractorHot Tub ContractorHot Tub ContractorHVAC ContractorHVAC ContractorInsulation ContractorInsulation ContractorInterior Designer ContractorInterior Designer ContractorLand Development ContractorLand Development ContractorLandscape ContractorLandscape ContractorLawn And Yard Maintenance ContractorLawn And Yard Maintenance ContractorMasonry ContractorMasonry ContractorMold Remediation ContractorMold Remediation ContractorMoss Removal ContractorMoss Removal ContractorPainting ContractorPainting ContractorPlaster ContractorPlaster ContractorPlaster And Stucco ContractorPlaster And Stucco ContractorPlumbing ContractorPlumbing ContractorPressure Washing ContractorPressure Washing ContractorRemodel ContractorRemodel ContractorRenovation ContractorRenovation ContractorRestoration ContractorRestoration ContractorRoofing ContractorRoofing ContractorSiding ContractorSiding ContractorSpec Home BuilderSpec Home BuilderSpecialty ContractorSpecialty ContractorStone Mason ContractorStone Mason ContractorStucco ContractorStucco ContractorSubcontractorSubcontractorSwimming Pool ContractorSwimming Pool ContractorSwimming Pool And Hot Tub ContractorSwimming Pool And Hot Tub ContractorTile And Carpet ContractorTile And Carpet ContractorTrade ContractorTrade ContractorTree ContractorTree ContractorUnderground ContractorUnderground ContractorUtility ContractorUtility ContractorWaterproofing ContractorWaterproofing ContractorWindow ContractorWindow Contractor Additional QuickBooks Templates, Resources, And Services QuickBooks Set Up TemplatesSolopreneurQuickBooks Chart Of AccountsFree StuffQuickBooks Item Lists TemplatesConsulting We Serve Over 100 Types Of Contractors So If Your Type Of Company Is Not Listed Please Do Not Be Concerned Because If You Are A Contractor There Is A Good Chance We Can Help You! Call Now: 206-361-3950   Additional QuickBooks Templates, Resources, And Services QuickBooks Set Up Templates   Solopreneur QuickBooks Chart Of Accounts     Free Stuff QuickBooks Item Lists Templates     Consulting   We Serve Over 100 Types Of Contractors So If Your Type Of Company Is Not Listed Please Do Not Be Concerned Because If You Are A Contractor There Is A Good Chance We Can Help You! Call Now: 206-361-3950 If you are a blogger, who writes about construction we would like to hear from you. https://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/guestblogger                                                                     Contractors_Success_MAP, Contractors_Success_Marketing_Accounting_Production, Contractor_Bookkeeping_Services, QuickBooks_For_Contractors, QuickBooks_For_Contractors,Contractors_Success_Map_Contractors_Need_These_Key_Resources_To_Run_Their_Company_Smoothl

The Hidden Side of Depression, Anxiety, Defectiveness, Hopelessness and Rage We nearly always think about negative feelings, such as moderate or severe depression, as problems that an expert must try to fix, using drugs and / or psychotherapy. There are a multitude of theories about why humans become depressed, including, but not limited to: We get depressed because reality sucks. We believe our mood slumps result from the circumstances in our lives, such as being alone following a rejection, experiencing the loss of a loved one, not having enough money, education or resources, social prejudice, or (as in Marilyn’s case) facing some catastrophic circumstance, such as severe illness. We get depressed because of insufficient love and nurturing in childhood, or because of traumatic childhood experiences. Biological factors. We get depressed because of our genes, or diet, or because of a chemical imbalance in our brains. Certainly, there can be some truth in all of these theories. Reality does kick us all in the stomach from time to time, and the pain we feel is understandable. My wife and I lost her father to Parkinson’s Disease a few years ago. We loved him tremendously, and his loss was extremely painful for everyone in our family. And most of us have experienced less than ideal circumstances when growing up, and many have even been victimized by horrific and tragic circumstances, such as child abuse. And clearly, some severe psychiatric illnesses, such as schizophrenia, do result from some kind of brain abnormality. But the problem with all of these theories is that they put us at the mercy of forces that are largely beyond our control—since we often cannot do much to change reality, rewrite our childhoods, or modify our brains short of taking this or that medication. In this podcast, Matt and David take a radically different approach, and argue that Marilyn’s intense feelings of depression and anxiety are not “mental disorders” that reflect some defect in Marilyn, but rather the expression of what is most beautiful and awesome about her. They also argue that there are large numbers of advantages, or benefits, of feeling the way she does, using several Paradoxical Agenda Setting techniques such as the Miracle Cure Question, Magic Button, Positive Reframing, and Magic Dial. The results are stunning and unexpected. Or, as Marilyn put it, this portion of the session was “mind-blowing.” The third and final podcast next week will include the M = Methods phase of the session along with the end-of-session T = Testing and wrap-up, including Relapse Prevention Training. Marilyn DML with goal column

The Dark Night of the Soul (Part 1) The first live therapy podcasts with Mark (the man who felt like a failure as a father: podcasts 29 – 35) were enormously popular, and many people have asked for more. David and Fabrice were delighted with your responses, so the next three podcasts will feature a therapy session with Marilyn by David and his highly-esteemed colleague and co-therapist, Dr. Matthew May. These three podcasts will include the entire session plus commentary the session unfolds. We are extremely grateful to Marilyn for her courage and generosity in making this extremely private and intensely personal experience available to all of us. I believe the session will touch your heart, inspire you, and give you courage in facing any problems and traumas that you may be struggling with. According to the theory behind cognitive therapy, people are disturbed not be events, but rather by the ways we think about them. This notion goes back nearly 2,000 years to the teachings of the Greek Stoic philosopher, Epictetus, who emphasized the incredible importance of our thoughts—or “cognitions”—in the way we feel. Fifty years ago, this notion gave rise to a new, exciting, drug-free treatment for depression called “cognitive therapy,” which was based on this basic notion: When you CHANGE the way you THINK, you can CHANGE the way You FEEL—quickly, and without drugs. That’s why I wrote my first book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, because I was so excited about this notion and the powerful new “cognitive therapy” that was rapidly emerging. The idea behind cognitive therapy is simple. When you’re upset, you’ve probably noticed that your mind will be flooded with negative thoughts. For example, when you’re depressed, you may be beating up on yourself and telling yourself that you’re a loser, and when you’re anxious you’re probably thinking that something terrible is about to happen. However, it may not have dawned on you that your thoughts are the actual cause of your negative feelings. In addition, you’re probably not aware that your negative thoughts will nearly always be distorted, illogical, or just plain unrealistic. In Feeling Good, I said that depression and anxiety are the world’s oldest cons, because you’re telling yourself things that simply are not true. In that book, I listed the ten cognitive distortions, such as All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, and hidden Should Statements, that trigger negative feelings. In the years since I first published Feeling Good, my list of cognitive distortions has gone worldwide, and is used by enormous numbers of mental health professionals in the treatment of individuals struggling with depression and anxiety. The notion that depression, anxiety, and event anger result entirely from your thoughts, and not upsetting events or circumstances external events is enormously liberating, because we usually cannot change what’s actually happening, but we can learn to change the way we think—and feel. But a lot of people don’t buy, or understand, this notion which seems to fly in the face of common sense. For example, you might argue that when something genuinely horrible happens, such as failure, losing a loved one, or being diagnosed with terminal cancer, it is the actual event and not your thoughts, that triggers your negative feelings. And you might also argue, perhaps even with some irritation, that your thoughts are definitely not distorted, since the actual event—such as the cancer—is real. Would you agree? I know that’s what I used to think! The next three podcasts will give you the chance to examine your thinking on this topic, because Marilyn is struggling with a negative event that is absolutely real and devastating. As the session with begins, Marilyn explains that she was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 (terminal) lung cancer, which came as a total shock, especially since she’d never smoked. As Drs. Burns and May go through the T = Testing and E = Empathy phases of the TEAM-CBT session, they learn that Marilyn has been struggling with extreme levels of depression, anxiety, shame, loneliness, hopelessness, demoralization, and anger, to mention just a few of her negative feelings. If you’d like, you can review a pdf of the Brief Mood Survey and Daily Mood Log that Marilyn completed just before the session began. You will see that her negative thoughts focus on several themes, including Her fears of cancer, pain, and death. Her thoughts of spiritual inadequacy, doubting her belief in God, wondering if there really is an afterlife, feeling that she’s not spiritual enough, and thinking that she’s perhaps been duped by religions. Her feelings of incompleteness at never having had a truly loving life partner. Her feelings of self-criticism, beating up on herself for excessive drinking during her life. Click here for Marilyn's Brief Mood Survey, pre-session. Click here for Marilyn's Daily Mood Log. The next Feeling Good Podcast with Marilyn will include the A = (Paradoxical) Agenda Setting phase of the TEAM therapy session, and will include the Miracle Cure Question, the Magic Button, the stunning Positive Reframing Technique, and the Magic Dial. The third and final podcast will include the M = Methods phase, including Identify the Distortions, the Paradoxical Double Standard Technique, Externalization of Voices, and Acceptance Paradox, end of session testing, and wrap-up. Although the subject matter of these podcasts is exceptionally grim and disturbing, we believe that Marilyn’s story may transform your thinking and touch your heart in a deeply personal way. Because Marilyn is a deeply spiritual person who suddenly finds herself without hope and totally lost, we have called part one, The Dark Night of the Soul.

Jill and David encourage Mark to develop his list of positives. Mark draws a blank at first. This is very common among patients and therapists alike. Most of us have not been trained to think about depression, anxiety, shame, defectiveness, hopelessness and anger as being good or positive. In fact, we think of them as symptoms of “mental disorders,” according to the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association.) So we think of them as bad, something to get rid of, something needing treatment. But after David and Jill prime the pump, Mark is surprised that they quickly come up with a list of 16 positives that are real and powerful. At this point, they ask Mark why in the world he’d want to press the Magic Button and have all of his symptoms suddenly disappear--given all these positives. This is called the Acid Test and it's also paradoxical. David and Jill have now become the resistant part of Mark's subconscious mind--the part that clings to these symptoms. And when the therapists become the voice of the resistance, the patient will nearly always become the voice that argues for change. The paradox is resolved with the Magic Dial. Toward the end of this podcast, you will want to review Mark’s Daily Mood Log, with the Goal column filled out on the table of negative emotions. David points out that there is no single tool or technique that triggers recovery in patients. Instead, each component of T E A M contributes in radically different ways to the substantial or even dramatic improvement the therapists are hoping to bring about it today's session. In the next Podcast, David and Jill will begin the M = Methods portion of the session.

Sharon Vornholt elaborates on how marketing can be the "magic button" that allows your business to grow and become more successful. Do you want to be a real estate investor but need step-by-step guidance to help get you started? The Investor Machine is a 90-day program with training, weekly tasks, bi-weekly group calls, and more! Schedule a free call to discuss your goals today!

Sharon Vornholt elaborates on how marketing can be the "magic button" that allows your business to grow and become more successful. Do you want to be a real estate investor but need step-by-step guidance to help get you started? The Investor Machine is a 90-day program with training, weekly tasks, bi-weekly group calls, and more! Schedule a free call to discuss your goals today!

Learn what the Magic Button is and how stopping the search for it will dramatically change your life.