Healthy MoJo Podcast

In the first of a series, today Kristy gets back together with Mitzi and Scott Cannon a year after their original interviews to talk about where they are in their lives and faith. In particular, this episode will be of interest to listeners who are curious how mixed-faith marriages can change over time, how to navigate previous guilt over porn as a postmormon, and how to move forward positively as a couple when church attendance is no longer a fixture of family life. If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

A co-production with the RationalFaiths podcast, in this episode Leah Marie Pickren Silverman and Michael Barker of RationalFaiths interview Dr. Kristy Money about her work with the Healthy Mormon Journeys Foundation. Specifically, the conversation trends around these questions: -What are some of the relationship mistakes Mormons make while going through a faith crisis? -What unique abilities can a therapist, who is familiar with a high-demand religion such as Mormonism, bring to their LDS clients going through a faith crisis? -What is one piece of advice Dr. Kristy Money would give to someone just entering a faith crisis? If you are interested in hearing more from the RationalFaiths podcast and blog, check them out at http://rationalfaiths.com/.

Mitzi (of Mitzi and Scott interviewed in Episode 24) was gracious to return to the podcast for an interview alone as she and Dr. Kristy Money discuss her sexual history, how her sexuality was immature growing up in the Church and the importance of exploring and focusing on her own needs, as often in our culture men’s sexuality takes center stage in relationships. If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

Dr. Money updates listeners on the crazy events of the last couple weeks since the last episode (moving! babies! new job!), and releases an episode on porn and mixed faith marriages she recorded with Mitzi and Scott Cannon last year, now available publicly. A LOT has changed since we last talked on their faith journey, and we will keep you updated soon!

Bill Reel and Dr. Kristy Money discuss confirmation bias, the backfire effect, and how understanding these concepts can help you avoid hurtful behaviors between those who are journeying away from orthodoxy and their believing friends/family. There are references to different podcasts mentioned in the episode and you can find the show notes at http://hmjfoundation.org/ep023. Lastly, in conjunction with the release of this episode, we are publishing a new e-book titled "How People Change Their Minds About Religion: Do's and Don'ts". It is provided as a free resource by the Healthy Mormon Journeys Foundation and can be downloaded at http://hmjfoundation.org/materials. If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit http://hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

Just another quick update - we should be back on the saddle next week starting w/ part 2 of the Bill Reel episode. if you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit http://hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

This isn't a full episode - rather it is just a quick notice that we're taking a week off, that we'll be back next week, and that we're so grateful for all the help in the form of sharing, feedback, and donations! If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit http://hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

This episode is part 1 of a 2 part series. Today Dr. Money and Bill Reel discuss where he currently stands with his faith journey, healthy and practical ways to journey, and the backfire effect. Bill Reel experienced a faith journey while serving as a Mormon Bishop in his early 30's and currently podcasts at http://mormondiscussionpodcast.org where he discusses how to let go of "a MORMONISM that is unrealistic, too simplistic, and too black and white", and develop a "renewed faith. A beautiful and expansive faith". Also, hope you enjoy the new bumper music by Josh Vietti. You can check him out at http://joshvietti.com. If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit http://hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

In today's episode, we get a behind-the-scenes peek at the origins of the Healthy Mormon Journeys Foundation and the Healthy MoJo podcast, as Marco interviews Dr. Money about her journey away from orthodoxy and how that led her to found the foundation. Dr. Money goes over the principles guiding the foundation and its work, including the symbolism of the feather. She then discusses the foundation's newest resource for preserving relationships after changes in faith, a practical and powerful infographic called "When a Loved One's Beliefs Change." We are purposefully releasing this resource during the busy season of LDS General Conference to empower those on either side of the faith aisle so that all of us can avoid harmful behaviors and embrace relationship-building ones. That is our bread and butter here at the HMJ Foundation - helping people preserve their closest and dearest relationships even when beliefs change. Links referenced in episode: Family Acceptance Project with Bob Reese & Katelyn Ryan >> https://familyproject.sfsu.edu/ Kristy's appearance in the NY times >> https://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/07/us/from-mormon-women-a-flood-of-requests-and-questions-on-their-role-in-the-church.html?_r=0 Hope is a Thing w/ feathers - Poem Emily Dickenson >> https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/hope-thing-feathers-254 Revolution Trimble >> http://www.gregtrimble.com/the-coming-revolution-inside-of-mormonism/ If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit http://hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

In today's episode Dr. Money talks to Mindy Gledhill, an amazing indie singer/songwriter who stands up for important issues in her native Utah, particularly among LDS communities. They answer a listener's question who asks for help discussing her feelings about gender inequality inside the church with her father who currently serves as an Area Authority Seventy. This listener wants to be open and honest with her family, but worries about damaging or losing her relationships with them. In response, Dr. Money and Mindy discuss the important concepts of "differentiation" and "enmeshment." When these ideas are employed, they go a long way towards improving one's personal mental health and building healthy relationships. In terms of links, please check out Mindy's work--she's amazing! Mindy's open letter to Elaine Dalton >> http://www.patheos.com/blogs/mormontherapist/2017/03/mormon-women-march-stand-virtue.html Mindy's amazing music >> http://www.mindygledhill.com/ Mindy's new project (incredible) >> http://www.hiveriot.com/ One of Dr. Money's favorite videos >> https://youtu.be/GmozNfyjAjo Seriously - the cinematography in Mindy's videos is lovely/amazing/captivating/all of the above! If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit http://hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

In this episode Dr. Money along with Marco, our podcast editor, and two of his active LDS friends, Saul and Katelyn attempt to answer a listener's question about how to disclose their faith journey to a close friend without losing that valued friendship. We discuss how Marco disclosed his own faith journey with Saul, how he and Katelyn reacted, and best practices for assuring the disclosing doesn't turn into a burned bridge. For context you can find the letter Marco wrote to disclose his faith journey to Saul. [Letter] Saul, My friend - I like these catch-up sessions. I've probably started this email 10+ times but pulled back because I didn't know how deep these emails should be. Then I thought: "hey, you're talking to your friend Saul" and I decided I'd be transparent.... [omitted non-relevant content] ...The last point I want to touch on is my faith. Besides my wife and my Bishop Saul - you're the first person I've commented about this and I'd love to get your thoughts/insight. I've always tried to be a good person - I do have my faults, but I've always to tried to overcome them. I've always felt the Church was a place where I could grow and improve. But I have to tell you that about 4 months ago in Sunday school we were talking about the Priesthood and how in 1978 it was opened to all worthy males. It is a topic that always made me sick to my stomach. It seems so odd now that was the norm back then and I asked the older members what was the reason given at the time. Some brought up the curse of Cain (which is doctrinally unsound) then there was awkward silence and we moved on. But Saul - I couldn't get it out of my mind. Especially understanding that Joseph Smith had in fact ordained black members of the church - what changed? It nagged at me and I begin to research. Saul, it occurs to me that there is a chance that you might construe this as my attempting to convince you at some point, I want to assure this is not the case - I am merely attempting to clarify what my thoughts are/were so I can attempt to gain more understanding on my feelings. With that said, the sick feeling in my stomach led me to research. I wanted to try to gain an understanding of when/why things changed after Joseph Smith as perhaps it would shed light/understanding and bring me to a satisfying resolution. It was hard to find non anti-mormon information on the topic, but I did find information. The Church's position is that for reasons unclear today sometime while Brigham Young was the prophet, the practice changed. This practice was continued on for almost 100 years until 1978. Long story short (because I need to get ready for work) - I am pained to think that the tenants that I've held to for so long could be wrong. I've always believed that the Prophet is the voice of the God - and that should he think of doing something against his will God would take him from this earth. Sadly this did not happen for Brigham, nor for all of the prophets for near 100 years. It is hard for me to believe that God wanted that practice changed - that he would put aside certain people for that long. So I've made a decision to put a pause on Church for now. I'm sure this all sounds crazy. It is really hard for me to bring this up w/ anyone. I want to want to try to get some feedback - I've continued to pray, and well friend, I hope you can give me some insight. Sorry if this email is too heavy - but it is simply on my mind. I really appreciate your friendship Saul. Please give my best to your family! [End Letter] If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit http://hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

In this episode, we interview a mixed-faith couple who is making it work. They discuss how one of them began to journey away from the church, how that affected each of them, and what they strived to do to make sure they could focus on strengthening their relationship through the process. They also model the exercises in Part 2 of the Mixed-Faith Marriage Workbook found on http://hmjfoundation.org/materials. If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit http://hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

In today's episode, Dr. Money introduces a new survey which has tremendous potential to help others working through their faith journeys - so we need as much participation as we can get! (It only takes 1 min - see link below to participate). Dr. Money also spends time with Jan Chamberlin, discussing her reasons for resigning from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (MoTab). Additionally, Jan helps respond to a listener's question about her relationship with her son who has left the church. Jan gives personal insight into how she, as an active Latter-day Saint, has worked on maintaining a strong and fruitful relationship with some of her children who have journeyed away from orthodox LDS beliefs. The Families and Faith Journeys survey is about family reactions to belief changes. It will take about 1 minute and the HMJ Foundation will use the completely anonymous/confidential results to protect and improve relationships despite changes in belief. Click on this link to participate >> https://goo.gl/forms/fTO8JSv7aGPkj5g72 Jan Chamberlin's CNN interview >> http://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2016/12/31/mormon-tabernacle-choir-jan-chamberlin-quits-donald-trump-inauguration-casarez-dnt-erin.cnn If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit http://hmjfoundation.org/donate to help us further this work. Thank you.

In today's episode Carrie and Ross from the acclaimed podcast "Oh No Ross & Carrie" (do yourself a favor and check them out http://ohnopodcast.com) help us answer a listener's question about being honest/transparent about his faith journey away from the church, both with himself and the missionaries who baptized him. He is particularly concerned about being honest while at the same time not losing the friendship they currently enjoy. If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit http://HMJfoundation.org/donate to send your tax-deductible donation. Thank you.

In today's podcast Dr. Money, along w/ her active LDS father-in-law answer a caller's question regarding how to negotiate their in-laws who disagree with her and her husband's faith journey away from the LDS Church. If discussions of appropriate boundaries and the best way to set them peak your interest, the Healthy Mormon Journey foundation has prepared a workbook called "Faith Journeys and Boundaries: A Practical Workbook" available as a free download at http://mormonjourneys.org/materials. Any material in this podcast or mormonjourneys.org/materials, are provided free of charge for those looking to maintain important relationships after changes in belief. If you find value in this content and feel the HMJ foundation can help others, a one-time or monthly recurring donation of anywhere between $1-20 goes a long way to help us help others. As a 501(c)(3) registered non-profit organization, any donations to the Healthy Mormon Journeys foundation are tax deductible just like tithing donations would be. Thank you.

Dr. Kristy Money marks off one of her bucket list items as she interviews actor and former Mormon, Kevin Rahm. In this fourth of four episode series, as a mental health break, Dr. Money gets all fan-girl on Kevin's impressive filmography. If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit mormonjourneys.org and click on the blue "Donate" button. Thank you.

Dr. Kristy Money marks one off her bucket list as she interviews actor and former Mormon, Kevin Rahm. In this third of four episode series, Kevin and Dr. Money answer a listener's question regarding balancing truth and happiness. They also discuss external vs. internal validation, along with raising their children after they were raised in an orthodox environment. If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit mormonjourneys.org and click on the blue "Donate" button. Thank you.

Dr. Kristy Money marks one off her bucket list as she interviews actor and former Mormon, Kevin Rahm. In this second of four episode series, Kevin discusses his time at BYU, discovering acting, and the beginning of his faith journey. If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit mormonjourneys.org and click on the blue "Donate" button. Thank you.

Dr. Kristy Money marks one off her bucket list as she interviews actor and former Mormon, Kevin Rahm. In this first of four episode series, Kevin discusses growing up Mormon, his LDS mission, along with his initial questions and doubts. If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit mormonjourneys.org and click on the blue "Donate" button. Thank you.

In this weeks episode of the Healthy MoJo podcast (see what we did there!) we introduce two new series: 1) updates from previous episodes (today it is James from ep. 008) 2) a practical tune-up approach to your marriage. Kristy Money and her husband model this approach and you can download the free workbook on mormonjourneys.org/materials to give it whirl for yourself. We are in fact looking for couples to model some of these exercises on the podcast - contact us at mormonjourneys.org/contact to participate. If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit mormonjourneys.org and click on the blue "Donate" button. Thank you.

How do you start a discussion with someone who is on their journey of leaving the church without offending them? Dr. Julie de Azevedo-Hanks and Dr. Kristy Money answer Luara's questions about how to best approach and draw boundaries when compassionately reaching out to those on a faith journey. Links from episode: -Circles of Intimacy>> http://www.jmrlcswc.com/2015/09/personal-boundaries-relationship-levels_34.html -100 phrases to say and to NOT say to your loved ones who think/believe differently from you >> http://mormonjourneys.org/100-phrases/ If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit mormonjourneys.org and click on the blue "Donate" button. Thank you.

We take two questions from today's caller 1) How do I deal w/ wanting to be honest about my faith journey with my wife/family 2) how do I empower my daughter in her decision to pursue a career or become a stay-at-home-mom. If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit mormonjourneys.org and click on the blue "Donate" button. Thank you.

Kristy and Chelsea answer another question on how to stop thinking about the church when you live in an area (like the Jello Belt) with constant reminders, like living in the same town as your ex-boyfriend and seeing him everywhere, the listener asked. You won't want to miss Chelsea's insights on cultural iconography and subculture growth.

Chelsea Shields--anthropologist and TED Fellow--and Dr. Money answer an anonymous listener’s question about managing anxiety that he would be disowned. Chelsea has unique insight while answering this question given her own family history coming from a very orthodox family and speaks to how she maintains a healthy relationship with her parents. One final suggestion that we didn't get to on the podcast: Last year an LDS Charities video had a father suggesting that if his adult children left the church he would disinherit them. I'm willing to give the church the benefit of the doubt they didn't catch that when they finalized the video, since the video was about teaching children altruism through example. However, when the clip about disowning was brought to the church's attention, they immediately took down the entire video. You can keep this fact in your back pocket to help manage anxiety: in a worst case scenario if your loved ones do threaten to disown you can show them through timestamped internet history how the church itself doesn't support this because they took down a video of a father saying as much--they didn't want to endorse his views. In Part 2 Chelsea answers a second anonymous question about how to stop thinking about the church so often when you live in LDS-heavy areas and you see reminders everywhere. Chelsea has spent most of the last 15 years in Utah County and SLC and draws from her cultural anthropological expertise.

It’s normal to worry that when your family finds out where you’re at in your faith journey, they might think it happened because you were lazy or didn’t study enough when really the opposite is true: you studied church history *in depth*. Understandably, you don’t want them to think you are lazy, or didn’t study enough, or are being led by Satan. How much, then, do you tell them about what you learned? How much do you risk straining the relationship? Do you try to tell them everything? Join Paul and Dr. Money as they discuss how to handle this dilemma while preserving relationships, because, as you’ll hear in Paul’s voice, his family means so much to him and he doesn’t want to lose them.

How do you tell your parents about your change of beliefs in a way that's respectful and constructive, especially since they live nearby? They'll know people in your ward, have questions, ask your kids about going to church, so putting them off isn't a long-term solution. Julie asked that question tonight and you won't want to miss what we go over together: her backstory, the nuts-and-bolts of when and how to do it, addressing concerns like wanting them not to worry about you and hoping not to hurt them, as well as not putting the kids in the middle of anything. Thank you Julie for bravely coming on!

Rachel Brown is an insightful therapist and has undergone family holiday trauma surrounding faith issues herself, so she speaks from personal experience as she gives advice about what you can do if you find yourself this holiday season in a high-stress argument or situation over religion. Rachel is one of 11 children so she understands first-hand how many family members gathered together in one place runs a risk that prosteletyzing or declaring one's beliefs to influence someone else's point of view can happen. Radical Acceptance and Mindfulness are two practical approaches she digs into and punctuates with examples of what happened to her to share a message that can help heal relationships.

How can I respect others’ spiritual experiences when I am skeptical of anything spiritual? What are some ways to cope with a conflict or disbelief in the Spirit without lashing out and damaging relationships? What are some ways to learn to trust your own conscience or Spiritual promptings again, even when everyone around you is telling you that your Spirit gauge is wrong, and that you may even have a mental illness? Active church member, scientist, and writer Lauren Ard and I try to answer these questions with her faith journey story as backdrop, a fascinating tale many I'm sure will relate to. She also explains how she's able to make it work in the church not just for family reasons, but because she can do a lot of good in her community. I agree! Check out the resources she's developed for members navigating the middle way: myheavenlymother.wordpress.com gcsisters.wordpress.com mormonactivitydays.com

Welcome to the inaugural episode of the new Healthy Mormon Journeys podcast! As part of the mission of the Healthy Mormon Journeys Foundation (http://mormonjourneys.org/), the purpose of this podcast is to provide advice for those who are working to preserve relationships as they or their loved ones go through their own personal faith journeys. In this first episode, host Dr. Kristy Money (http://drkristymoney.com/) talks to Shairna about her and her husband's faith journeys, and the effects these changes had on their marriage. After working through some hard times (including infidelity) and considering divorce, Shairna talks about how they found healing in part through participation in a vow renewal ceremony, which they were able to individualize in a way they hadn't their LDS temple marriage.