Two Hairy Guys vs

John and Mark are back and have LIVE VIDEO this time...although you won't find it here, since this is a podcast. Find us on YouTube as 2HGVS if you want our HD glory.

Annnnnnd they're back! After too long of a break and frankly too long of a 2021, our hairy humans are back to talk about how they have kept their sanity...or not...during the pandemic. Unfortunately this has all gone on much longer than most people anticipated, so finding new ways to keep their wits has been a priority for both John and Mark. Expect a return to more regular episodes soon!

WE ARE BACK!!!That's right, the hairy lads are back at it after TOO LONG of a hiatus. Granted, you can blame Mark for a couple of weeks of being a slow editor...but the title of this episode says it all about why we had to leave for a bit. Mark may have changed jobs, but John changed careers...and that's all we're going to say in the description about that. You'll have to listen to get the rest. You'll immediately notice a 95% decrease in profanity from the last episode. Both hairy guys are in much better moods.And yes, you may notice a random ad at the end. We have elected to allow our host to put one ad per episode, at the end. Podcasting is not free or even cheap, so every nickel helps. Sorry not sorry...and no, we have no control over what ad is placed there. We hope it's something cool.

Heads up just for listener Mario…this one gets a little NSFW just due to language. John needed to vent. Mark didn’t feel like bleeping. So if you didn’t like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, maybe skip this one. ;-)They're baaaack! It's been a few weeks. In an episode or two that will be explained, we promise. GenX doesn't really have an anthem...Flock of Seagulls doesn't qualify, no matter what John might say...but we did have some cool experiences. And some not so cool ones too...from the AIDS crisis, to Challenger, to Nirvana, to smoking in dorms...John and Mark wax nostalgic like the two middle aged Minnesota men they are.

John and Mark have been called all sorts of things by all sorts of people over the years, and this week's episode is all about how some of those terms of endearment...and perhaps not so endearing...came to be. From parents to bullies, teachers to roadies, nicknames are the subject of the day. And not just because John calls Mark pookie. That's a whole other episode.

Bugs Bunny, wayward super heroes, TV lawyers, and undercover cops who apparently lived like moguls...the 80s were about more than just mullets. Although those were a thing. Just ask John's kids. The mysterious kitchen fire from last week is also explained.And as promised...https://youtu.be/jrLvtoKZfxYIt's Two Hairy Guys vs Childhood TV!

From robes to mass murder to Flavor Aid, cults are a topic of morbid fascination. And although our bearded duo may be strange, they aren't THAT type of strange...but they are morbidly fascinated. Charles Manson, Jim Jones, David Koresh...all the big news ones are here, along with a discussion of what constitutes a cult and how some modern religions may occasionally walk that line a bit close for comfort. It's Two Hairy Guys vs Cults, right here!

We are BACK! New hosting provider, same two hairy hosts. No mystery here, we just needed a platform a little easier to grow on, so we changed to Spreaker...it's not like it's a conspiracy or anything...That's right, on this episode we go full tin foil hat. Area 51, JFK, MkUltra, Freemasons, and the Illuminati...plus a few others for good measure...it's all here and it's all just a conspiracy theory.Or is it?

Everybody has their obsessions...compulsions...weird fixation on water squirting toilets...Whether it be guitars, fountain pens, watches, or even bidets (Seriously. Bidets. John is different, ok?), even hairy guys have things that bring them comfort.Join John and Mark as they discuss this widely (and we mean widely) varied topic, and how it helps them get through the stress of the pandemic. And gives John that clean and fresh feeling. It's been a weird week.

It's cold in Minnesota right now. Really cold. Even for a big hairy guy. With below-zero (F, not that wimpy C stuff) temps every night this week and more double-digit below-zero temps coming this weekend, our walking space heaters talk about how they avoid becoming hairy popsicles. Ewww. Hairy popsicles. It's Two Hairy Guys vs The Frozen Tundra!

Resources first...National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255To Write Love On Her Arms: https://twloha.com/National Alliance on Mental Illness help page: https://nami.org/helpSerious topic this week, especially amidst the pandemic. Neither John nor Mark are mental health professionals, they are simply two normal people who deal with issues in their own lives. Hopefully through these stories others may hear their own struggles echoed and learn there is a way out. John deals with clinical depression, Mark has anxiety, ADD, and has been through a legitimate nervous breakdown. If these topics are triggering to you, please be aware they are front and center in this episode.

RANT ONFor those who have never experienced a Mark Okern rant, mouthguards are available at all local sporting goods stores. We recommend one. Meetings. Chewing like a cow. More meetings. Slurping. Being late. Did we mention meetings? AIR TRAVEL NEWBS. Oh yeah. We've got it all this week. John explains what makes him want to feed his family into a pasta maker, and Mark explains why his grandfather's groin was the topic of conversation for Christmas dinner. And no meetings. Please. It's Two Hairy Guys vs Pet Peeves. Don't tick them off. You'll get your own episode. Just sayin'.

Are you one of those people who has to read every single thing that crosses your path? You read the back of the soap bottle when you're using the bathroom? The ketchup disclaimers when you're eating fries? Yeah. Mark too. Maybe John. Not sure. But both of our hairy hosts read a LOT of books, and not just stories about bearded chubby middle aged midwestern dudes saving the universe. They read books about things that actually happen, too. From British veterinarians to existential philosophy, this is Two Hairy Guys vs Non-Fiction...aka books part two.

Welcome to 2021! Feels a lot like 2020 so far...Ever have that experience where you are absolutely certain you did something, only to realize you had not? Welcome to the world of hairy guys, where Mark and John realized THEY HAD NOT DISCUSSED BOOKS YET. So to kick off season 2, here is what is certain to be an intro episode to many more. From Lord of the Rings, to horrible books that got turned into worse movies with Kirk Cameron, to discussions of art and politics in it...we've got it here on the intro episode of Two Hairy Guys vs Books.

Leg lamps, lard, and pets pooping out tinsel...that's right, it's time for our Santa wannabes to talk about holiday traditions!John definitely has Mark beat, although Mark does have a Christmas Story-ish tradition of his own. However, stay tuned for John's creation of a new theological concept, one which you won't hear anywhere except right here. And you'll be thankful for that. This is our last episode of 2020 (THANK GOODNESS, KILL THIS PAST YEAR WITH FIRE PLEASE), so we'd like to wish everyone a peaceful and happy new year, and we will see you...so to speak...in 2021. Glögg recipe:https://www.thespruceeats.com/traditional-glogg-recipe-3510987The ASI event with a lot of aquavit and too little food:https://www.asimn.org/programs-education/events/taste-aquavit-week-asi

"To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;For in that sleep of death what dreams may come"Hamlet. Act III. Scene I. C'mon. Your high school english teacher is not amused. It's our downy duo (Gimme a break. There aren't that many hair words that start with D.) taking on those most elusive of things...Dreams. This one goes all over the place and is likely to kick off a few on consciousness and what it means to be self aware. But in the meantime, hear about how John thought his wife was an alligator and Mark shot Jason from Friday the 13th in the face. It's Two Hairy Guys vs Dreams this week!YouTube link referenced during this episode:https://youtu.be/lyu7v7nWzfo

It's time to talk about what brought our follicle-fertile friends together, and that happened because both of them make a lot of noise on musical instruments. Actually, there's more to being a musician than just being homeless and living in a van...it's about living the life of a creative, someone who has to create or die...or at least become unbearable to everyone around them. In Mark's case, even MORE unbearable. Ask a few keyboard players who've had him as a music director. John and Mark discuss how the pandemic has affected their creativity and how they've each coped with those challenges, how they got their first real start as musicians, and John even returns us briefly to his childhood in paint chip land. Which would explain a few drummers we've known...It's Two Hairy Guys vs Being Musicians!

Ok, so "scary" has taken on new meaning in 2020, but our furry fiends found a few things to discuss regardless. First things first...a huge shoutout to our sponsor of this episode, Willy B's Barbecue. Looking for a gift for your own hairy guy or hairy girl? Or non-hairy, we suppose...John and Mark just can't speak to a non-hairy life. But they can speak to meat, and things that you put on meat.Order your rubs and spices here:https://www.willybbbq.com/Use discount code 2HGV for 20% off, and order by December 10th to ensure everything arrives for Christmas!Claustrophobia. Heights. Spiders. Lots of spiders. Serial killers. More spiders. John and Mark talk about their fears and encounters with all of the above. And yes, really, a serial killer. Next year we'll try to do this around Halloween. Or maybe Sweetest Day. We're weird. Scale of the universe video:https://youtu.be/zR3Igc3RhfgHow the universe will end video:https://youtu.be/uD4izuDMUQA

BONUS CONTENT TIMEThis wasn't a travel story, but it's too good not to tell. Mark was once a DJ, and had one of the most surreal experiences of his life at a dive bar in West Salem, WI. Jerry Springer should have performed this wedding. Boobs, pickup trucks, family feuds, crotch shots, and cops. All this right here on a bonus of Two Hairy Guys vs Wisconsin Wedding Warfare!

Annnd they're back, with more travel stories...albeit with huge tangents. BONUS THIS WEEK...a story came up that was so entirely appropriate that Mark couldn't resist telling it, but it didn't involve travel, so there will be a THGV bonus short posted later this week!As for the rest, it's all here...why Mark will never eat at Jack In The Box ever again (the town in question is Fort Smith, Arkansas by the way), how one of John's kids ate a smurf (or at least regurgitated one), and the infamous NOTAWEDDING.All that with a bonus to come, on Two Hairy Guys vs Travel...Part 2.

A day late in this release, sorry...Mark's work laptop decided to blow its battery, so it's been a 2020 of a week. In that vein, our hairy hound dogs are discussing a very UN-2020 topic, something that is rumored to have existed before the dark year came upon us all: TRAVEL.Both John and Mark enjoy travel, and in fact, they enjoy it so much that one episode wasn't nearly enough to cover the topic. So here is travel part one, covering childhood and school years. John's road trips to see televangelists are here, as is Mark's strong dislike of Mickey Mouse. We wish you all a happy and safe Thanksgiving. What are we grateful for? That 2020 is ending soon, for one.

You say potato, I say potah-to.You say let's hang out, I say LEAVE ME ALONE!John's an extrovert. Mark's an introvert (seriously. no, really. he is. we swear.). Our bearded buddies discuss the differences and the misconceptions, including how John knows where on the scale from "warm and fuzzy" to "homicidal toward humanity" Mark is at any given moment. It's Two Hairy Guys vs Introverts and Extroverts.

Fish, ferrets, birds, dogs and cats, living together...mass hysteria!Sorry. Channeled our inner Ghostbusters there for a moment. Since the rest of the world has nothing but serious topics this past week, we decided to keep things light and fluffy...and talk about family members who have more fur than we do: our pets, past and present. Cute dogs, homicidal cats, dumb birds, and genius goldfish...we've got it all for you. It's Two Hairy Guys vs Pets!Mark's dogs have both come from Secondhand Hounds. Visit their website at https://www.secondhandhounds.org/

Ok, so we know humans aren't always that bright as a species. John and Mark, even moreso. In this extra long but entirely worth it episode, the bearded bros discuss the dumbest stuff they've had the idea to do in their lives. This is likely to be part one of an ongoing series, if this first round is any indication...From drinking large quantities of green alcohol, to playing on train tracks, to homemade body modification, it's all here, including Mark nearly passing out from laughter and possibly slight shock at John's final tale of "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????"

This episode was actually recorded a few weeks ago, but with John under the weather, we decided to take what ended up being an over hour long discussion about aliens, metaphysics, actual physics, religion, and some pop culture for good measure...and release it as the most appropriate 2020 episode yet. In other words...Put on your tin foil hats and protect your probing zones. That's right, it's time for Two Hairy Guys vs Aliens!

This episode is like a high school geometry class...tangents galore. Mark apologizes for that joke. Both of our bearded wonders enjoy camping, and in this episode we hear about such wonders as the cologne chemical weapon invented by one of Mark's fellow Boy Scouts, and John's deep, abiding hatred of stairs. What begins as an innocent walk down amnesia lane about camping soon turns into a free for all about Minnesota, and the cool stuff to see and do in the snow bound land where the mosquito is king.All this and more, on Two Hairy Guys vs Camping & etc

For the few deranged listeners who have stuck around following our interview of John...here's the follow up horror story for your pre-Halloween fun...It's Two Hairy Guys vs Mark!Want to hear how a band and AV geek became the bearded sex symbol (well, at least to Yetis) he is today? Yearning to hear his favorite swear word? It's all here!

Want to learn more about the two hairy guys themselves? You're in luck! If not...well...this is just not your day. :-) In this episode, a very raspy-voiced Mark interviews a very raspy-voiced John. Allergies and singing cannot deter our heroes from giving you more information than you ever wanted about John. All that fun at no cost, here on Two Hairy Guys vs John!

Cool calculator watches, cowboys on the plains, symphony musicians, rock stars...the world was our oyster. Granted, not all oysters end up being edible...In this episode, Mark and John talk about what they wanted to be when they grew up, what they DIDN'T want to be when they grew up, and how they ended up where they are...because they haven't grown up yet.

Last week may have been a serious topic, but this week is one of the most animated episodes so far for these Two Hairy Guys. From 1970s hand-me-downs, to conversion vans without seat belts, and every ugly vehicle in between, John and Mark talk cars. If you aren't a car person, don't fear. Neither are they. But what is common to all of us is the freedom and fun...and occasionally frustration...that automobiles can bring.

Everyone has certain points in their lives, certain choices, certain encounters that mold them and shape their path. Two Hairy Guys are no different, and we aren't just talking about the decision to grow beards.In a return to a more serious topic, we talk about the events and choices that we consider key to our lives. From being dumped by high school girlfriends (deservedly, at least for Mark) to the choices of where to live, and the struggles to make our own existence matter, we talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It's Labor Day weekend here in the US, and our bearded bozos are back, talking about the multitude of jobs they've held over the years. Seriously. It's a lot. There's something seriously wrong with these guys. Hear how Mark ended up playing the Easter Bunny in a Hallmark store and learn about the great La Crosse drunken dart team fight of a year he's long forgotten. Find out how John came to love coffee, possibly even more than his own children...again...and how one transitions from fast food to furniture store. All that and our first round of censor bleeps...all for Mark, no surprise there...on this episode of Two Hairy Guys vs.

Memory is a strange thing...they say it's the second thing to go, and Mark has forgotten the first.In this episode, our bearded wonders pivot from pop culture and dig into the first serious topic of the podcast. From what point in our childhood can we recall the earliest coherent memory? How does the mind process memories under stress, and how does the mind protect itself against trauma? Can we actually trust our own recollections, or in the words of Queen, "...is this just fantasy?"John and Mark discuss all of that and more.Possible Trigger: this topic necessitates some brief discussion of abusive situations in a theoretical context.

Is the world your toilet? Does your body crave buttery goodness? Do you have an unhealthy obsession with pineapples?Well, welcome to Santa Barbara...or is it British Columbia made to look like Santa Barbara...anyway. Welcome to the detective agency of Shawn Spencer and Burton "Gus" Guster. John possibly loves the show Psych above his own children, and while Mark is in comparison a newcomer in every way, he can hold his own in trivia. This is the first of what will likely be many returns to the show. It's just that good. We're wrapping up our introductory run of pop culture episodes with this cult favorite before jumping into a more serious topic next week. Don't worry, we'll circle back.

Now with 100% less John falling off his chair, and he changes his name in Squadcast yet again to confuse Mark during recording.Star Wars, Dead Poets Society, Saw, and leg lamps...all are fair game for our whiskered wanderings in this episode. We discover that we both remember seeing the same first movie in the theater, Mark gripes about Leia flying through space, John has a borderline unhealthy fixation on Ralphie's childhood home, and somehow Psych makes its way into yet another discussion.

What does John sound like when falling off a chair? Find out in the first few seconds of episode 3, now with theme music! (written and played by John, when he wasn't falling off his chair). In this episode, our bearded blundering takes us into the realm of video games, from Pong through Cyberpunk 2077, and all the stops in between. Atari, Nintendo, Colecovision, PC, Sony Playstation, Xbox, Commodore64...we mention them all, and owned a few. Producer's note: For the record, Mark's "Milwaukee mouth" means he mumbles sometimes, and if you think you heard "Day of Sex" instead of the correct "Deus Ex", well, you dirty bird, you.

That's right, this is episode 2. Where's episode 1? Well, Mark (the former pro audio guy) can't seem to get his settings right, so it's still being edited. This one still isn't perfect, but he swears he'll try without the echo cancelling next time!Music is what brought John and Mark together, so on this episode they talk about their history related to music, the artists and albums that influenced them, the Minneapolis music scene and shared misery of playing clubs, and plans for post-COVID jamming.