Podcast appearances and mentions of stephanie carnes

We welcome back Stephanie Carnes, a school social worker who has worked extensively with Central American immigrant students and their families. School systems are designed for homogenous student populations, rather than the diverse reality. Despite new immigrants' high motivation levels, they often fail for lack of support. School social workers could help design asset-based programs but often aren't given a seat at the table.

Rhyll Anne Croshaw, with the SA Lifeline foundation, shares her insights about the surrender process. Why do we need the surrender process? Rhyll says that the rewards of surrendering to God are peace. For those of us who struggle with betrayal trauma, peace is like water to our souls. Rhyll shares her 3 step surrender process and adds some extra details that I find particularly helpful. The basics to the 3 steps of surrender are: 1- Knees.2- Phone.3- Box. Surrendering to God is a key component of 12 step recovery work. Rhyll’s insights are helpful for newcomers and those more experienced in 12 step recovery work. NOTES: To attend a gender specific SA Lifeline 12 step meeting for betrayal trauma and/ or sex addiction, please visit https://salifeline.org/ . To attend the SA Lifeline conference (virtually or in person) on September 18th 2021 visit https://salifeline.org/s-a-lifeline-conference-2021/. Speakers include Stephanie Carnes and Jay Stringer. Rhyll Anne Croshaw’s book, What Can I Do About Me, can be purchased here. The Circles Model can be found here. The Betrayal Trauma SOS podcast has a previous episode on surrender. You can listen here, or search for episode 13 on most any major podcast platform.

Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Lyschel Burket who is a certified professional coach who would love to spend some time unpacking a common tool used by couples as they step into the space of healing and rebuilding. The tool is commonly used as a check in tool. Which means they use this tool as guardrails to their time in order to create connection, communication and safety with one another. Many call this tool FANOS - which stands for Feelings, Affirmations, Needs, Ownership and Sobriety/Self Care.  I believe this tool was originally offered by Debra & Mark Laaser with Faithful & True Ministries. It has also been sighted in Stephanie Carnes newest book Courageous Love, A Couples Guide to Conquering Betrayal. 

Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Lyschel Burket who is a certified professional coach who would love to spend some time unpacking a common tool used by couples as they step into the space of healing and rebuilding. The tool is commonly used as a check in tool. Which means they use this tool as guardrails to their time in order to create connection, communication and safety with one another. Many call this tool FANOS - which stands for Feelings, Affirmations, Needs, Ownership and Sobriety/Self Care.  I believe this tool was originally offered by Debra & Mark Laaser with Faithful & True Ministries. It has also been sighted in Stephanie Carnes newest book Courageous Love, A Couples Guide to Conquering Betrayal.

Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D. is the President of the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals, a training institute and professional organization for addiction professionals, and a senior fellow for Meadows Behavioral Healthcare where she works with sexually addicted clients and their families.  Dr. Carnes is the clinical architect for Willow House: Relationship Healing for Women struggling with sex, love and intimacy disorders and works closely with the staff of Willow House and Gentle Path to bring her unique expertise to the programs and to aid the clients who suffer from intimacy and relationship disorders. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AAMFT approved supervisor. Dr. Carnes is also a clinical sexologist and certified sex addiction therapist and supervisor, specializing in therapy for couples and families struggling with sexual addiction.  She presents regularly at conferences at both the state and national levels.  She is also the author of numerous publications including her books, Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts, and Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts, and Facing Addiction: Starting Recovery from Alcohol and Drugs. Her new book, scheduled to be released in may is titled “Courageous Love: A Guide for Couples Conquering Betrayal”.

Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D. is the President of the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals, a training institute and professional organization for addiction professionals, and a senior fellow for Meadows Behavioral Healthcare where she works with sexually addicted clients and their families. Dr. Carnes is the clinical architect for Willow House: Relationship Healing for Women struggling with sex, love and intimacy disorders and works closely with the staff of Willow House and Gentle Path to bring her unique expertise to the programs and to aid the clients who suffer from intimacy and relationship disorders. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AAMFT approved supervisor. Dr. Carnes is also a clinical sexologist and certified sex addiction therapist and supervisor, specializing in therapy for couples and families struggling with sexual addiction. She presents regularly at conferences at both the state and national levels. She is also the author of numerous publications including her books, Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts, and Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts, and Facing Addiction: Starting Recovery from Alcohol and Drugs. Her new book, scheduled to be released in may is titled “Courageous Love: A Guide for Couples Conquering Betrayal”. We are glad you found our season 3 episodes where we share some of our most advanced learnings and bring amazing experts on when it comes to relationships, and the challenges of healing both sides of the relationship after sex addiction and infidelity. Our journey has taken us a long ways from the time we recorded these episodes, but many have still found help and hope for healing in the information. We hope you always seek healing first for yourself, and where possible for the relationship, though staying together or choosing divorce or separation can occur at the point of betrayal and at times even after healing from betrayal and addictions. If you would like support in healing from betrayal we'd invite you to look at our program https://www.beyond-enough.com/beyondbetrayal It is not a program about staying together or leaving your partner, but rather finding the healing we need as an individual who has been made aware of our partner cheating. If you would like support from a licensed therapist contact Brannon's office at www.utahtherapy.org To find out about Ashlynn's groups https://www.thisisashlynn.com/mentoring To get support from Coby check out www.growwithcoby.com Thanks for your continued support for the podcast throughout all of our journey.

Dr. Stephanie Carnes is the President of the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals, more commonly called ITAP, which is a training institute and professional organization for addiction professionals. Dr. Carnes is a Senior fellow at Meadows Behavioral Healthcare where she works with sexually addicted clients and their families. Her father, Dr. Patrick Carnes, is the founder of ITAP and is an internationally recognized expert in the field. He also created the assessment tool and the 30-task model treatment modality which is used by clinicians all over the world to help their patients recover from sexual addiction. Dr. Carnes’ credentials include being a certified sex addiction therapist, a clinical sexologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist and a supervisor specializing in therapy for couples and families struggling with sexual addiction. Dr. Carnes is the clinical architect for Willow House at The Meadows, a 45-day inpatient program designed specifically for women who are struggling love addiction, relationship issues, and intimacy disorders.  Dr. Carnes currently co-facilitates Module 2 in the Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Training as well as the Certified Partner Trauma Therapist Training.  She is the author of numerous publications including her books Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts and Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts. Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder was added as a new mental diagnosis by the World Health Organization in the ICD-11. Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder is characterized by a repetitive and intense preoccupation with sexual fantasies, urges, and behaviors, leading to negative consequences and impairment in a person’s functioning on many levels including family, work and social life. A defining feature of Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder is when a person makes unsuccessful efforts to stop or control the time they participate in sexual fantasies, urges or behavior in an attempt to cope with stress or mood states.

This is an encore. Our conversation with Stephanie Carnes about Central American immigrant youth was one of our most popular. Enjoy it with our wishes for a safe and happy holiday. Stephanie Carnes is a trauma-focused bilingual school social worker in a large public high school in New York’s Hudson Valley. Stephanie worked as the lead clinician in a federally-funded shelter program for unaccompanied children from Central America and as a consultant she challenges the districts and agencies with whom she works to re-envision the meaning of an inclusive community. We talk about the necessity to normalize mental health care, how to create safe environments for immigrant children in American schools, and the power of their resilience.

We talk with Stephanie Carnes, a trauma-focused bilingual school social worker in a large public high school in New York’s Hudson Valley. Stephanie worked as the lead clinician in a federally-funded shelter program for unaccompanied children from Central America and as a consultant she challenges the districts and agencies with whom she works to re-envision the meaning of an inclusive community. We talk about the necessity to normalize mental health care, how to create safe environments for immigrant children in American schools, and the power of their resilience.

This week, Katie is back from Portugal and Caleigh moved across the country. We decided to discuss HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) because of a recent Nature/New York Times article and the movie Bohemian Rhapsody. We start off by describing what a virus is and some statistics about HIV/AIDS generally. We dive into a little more detail about the specific type of virus that causes AIDS (a retrovirus that has 9 genes and affects the immune system). We cover a paper from friend of the pod, Stephanie Carnes, about some basic science of HIV. Then, we talk about preventing the spread of HIV with PrEP and treatment approaches. We cover the new paper that claims a HIV patient is in remission. We finish by discussing some alarming disparities in affected communities and treatment availability.

Stephanie Carnes Sex addicts don't always show their deepest sexual desires to their loved ones. How can you tell whether your partner is simply behaving badly or truly suffers from a disease called sex addiction? When you discover that the person you loved and trusted most in the world is hiding from you, the result can be devastating.Sex addiction therapist Dr. Stephanie Carnes helps you face that heartbreak and betrayal. She gives you a comprehensive guide to examining the relationship, including difficult questions like “Should I Stay or Should I Go?, How Do I Set Boundaries and Keep Myself Safe?, What Does It Mean if My Partner Has Shown an Interest in Minors? and "What should I tell the kids?".She weaves real-life stories with practical therapeutic advice and specific tasks that gently educate, empower, and guide the partner of the sex addict through a process of recovery. Both you and your partner can discover hope and healing. Learn more about Stephanie Carnes: iitap.com/blog/portfolio_page/dr-stefanie-carnes

Medical professionals who work in the area of chronic pain often differentiate between pain and suffering. Pain is the physical experience (i.e., a pinched nerve) that travels from nerve to nerve and registers in the brain. Pain can be treated medically. Suffering, however, is the sense of hopelessness or despair that attaches to pain. It does not travel via nerve endings, but is part of our immaterial mind (not our physical brain). Hence there is no medical treatment for suffering. That is a work done in the soul not the body.As we look at the suffering story which you use to make sense of your experience, we are examining suffering (i.e., the meaning you have given to your experience) rather than pain (i.e., the act of betrayal or how you learned of it). As in chronic pain, both pain and the suffering are real and should be treated. In Steps 4-6 we will treat the suffering. As your spouse works through False Love and in chapters Steps 7-8 of True Betrayal we will treat the pain of your experience.You might ask the question, “Why are we dealing with the ‘suffering’ before the ‘pain’? Can’t we do both at the same time?” We are. If you spouse is working through False Love, that is the most important component of working on the pain that can be addressed at this stage. At this time in your spouse’s work, he/she will be learning what it means to genuinely repent to God, how to thoroughly confess his/her sin to you (humbly seeking forgiveness, not just giving you an accurate history), and learning what is reasonable to expect of him/her in the restoration process. This is an important time for your spouse, but these steps may not be as conversationally interactive as the previous steps.“However, in early recovery there is very little available for you because all the energy you partner put into his or her addiction must now be directed toward his or her own recovery… The addict can no more understand your need for remorse than you can understand what it’s like for him to not act out for 30 days (p. 50).” Stephanie Carnes in Mending a Shattered HeartUnless we take some time to work on the suffering side of your experience, it would be tempting for you to grow increasingly passive, impatient, and bitter as your spouse transitions from steps where there is a high information transfer to steps that produces less information to share.These do not have to be “the silent steps” for you. They can be a time when you work through the information you have gained in the first three steps of your journey. You have taken in an unsettling amount of information. It would be unwise to quickly move forward without taking time to assimilate what you’ve learned, distilled the destructive messages (Step 4), grieve the betrayal (Step 5), and reframe these painful events in light of the gospel (Step 6). While you may share with your spouse pieces of Steps 4 and 5, the more complete version of what needs to be said will put into words as you complete Step 6. Realize that your spouse will be in a similar place in his/her journey through Steps 4-6 of False Love. Hopefully, the honesty and disclosure of Steps 1-3 has developed enough trust to sustain this middle leg of the journey.As we define and examine the suffering story you use to make sense of your suffering, we will do so in three sections.Sexual Sin: A Disrupted StoryTen Potential Themes of Your Suffering StoryFrom Facts to Themes to Story See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.