Podcast appearances and mentions of jay stringer

In this episode, we delve deep into the intersection of mental health, trauma, and unwanted sexual behavior, exploring how our past experiences shape our present struggles. Our guest, Jay Stringer, shares powerful insights into the connection between unresolved wounds and their impact on mental health, offering practical guidance on how to approach healing with curiosity instead of self-condemnation. We discuss the importance of understanding our stories, how attachment theory influences our relationships and mental health, and how faith can play a pivotal role in the healing process.We'll explore why it's crucial to focus on the "why" behind behaviors, rather than simply trying to stop them, and how to break free from unhealthy patterns that keep us stuck. With compassion and curiosity at the core of the conversation, Jay offers valuable advice for anyone feeling overwhelmed in their healing journey, helping them take their first practical steps toward mental wellness.ResourcesJay's WebsiteJay's Book GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

Ben and Luke talk to therapist, author, and speaker Jay Stringer about his book "Unwanted". How can we as Christians address the epidemic of pornography with truth, grace, and love instead of shame, fear, and legalism? Listen to the full episodeSpotifyApple----------------------Do you ever struggle with how to share your faith with those who won't walk into a church?Ben has completely revised and updated his powerful book, Jesus in the Secular World: Reaching a Culture in Crisis—a must-read guide for anyone longing to reach those who may never step foot in a church. Packed with real-world insights and practical strategies, this book could be the breakthrough you've been searching for.Don't wait—get your copy today!Click HERE to check it out on Amazon.For more information go to: jesusinthesecularworld.com------------------------Questions, comments, or feedback? We'd love to hear what you think! Send them to provokeandinspire@steiger.org, or send us a message on Instagram.Click HERE to receive news, thought-provoking articles, and stories directly in your inbox from Ben, David, Luke, and Chad!Click below to follow the regulars on Instagram!Ben PierceDavid PierceChad JohnsonLuke GreenwoodSend us a text

Healing Sexual Sin & Shame through the Cross (and Curiosity): Interview with Jay Stringer There is something so incredible about a story of redemption. And, dear reader, I believe this conversation will be a turning point for you, as it has been for so many in our community. I've walked alongside men and women wrestling with the deep pain of sexual brokenness- the battles they face in their marriage beds, their thought lives, their past, and the weight of shame. I've seen firsthand the power of God to restore what seemed utterly lost. And this conversation with Jay Stringer is an invitation to that very healing journey. Jay is a therapist, minister, researcher, and author of Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. His compassionate, curious approach offers a fresh lens: that the very behaviors we hate are not random. They are clues. And they point us to healing. On this Good Friday, as we reflect on the sacrifice of Jesus, there is no better time to consider what it truly means to lay our shame at the foot of the cross. Let's dive in. The Cross and Your Story of Healing We all carry wounds. Some we're acutely aware of, and others we've buried so deeply that they show up in our actions long before we recognize them in our hearts. Jay opened our conversation by pointing us to the profound truth of the cross. Jesus knew exactly what you would do. Every mistake. Every moment of shame. And yet, He chose to take it all upon Himself. He bore your sin and your shame. This is not a journey of trying harder to be good enough. It's about understanding how deeply Jesus loves you, even in your lowest moments, and choosing to respond to His love with a courageous step toward healing. Unwanted Behaviors: They Are Not Random One of the most freeing truths Jay shared is this: our unwanted behaviors are not random. Through his extensive clinical work and groundbreaking research, Jay discovered that the specific ways we struggle are deeply connected to our stories of origin. Jay explained that in his role as the sex addiction therapist for the city of Seattle, he began to see patterns. Men arrested for soliciting sex were not making random choices. Their actions were connected to predictable stories of pain and trauma. Whether you grew up in a home of neglect, where your heart longed for connection and was left empty, or in a home of rigid control, where you felt powerless and unseen, these early experiences shape the way you cope and the behaviors you pursue as an adult. Your brain, your body, your desires are all responding to unhealed wounds. Understanding the Root: Family Systems and the Power of Priming Jay described two primary family systems that often set the stage for future struggles: The Disengaged Family System: Parents were physically or emotionally absent. Your longing for connection was never fulfilled. When you first experienced the neurochemical bond of pornography or sex, it felt like the deepest connection you had ever known. The Rigid, Authoritarian Family System: Parents were hyper-controlling, using performance or religion to shape you. You felt powerless and suffocated. Pornography, in contrast, offered a false sense of control and power over your environment. Both systems prime you for certain temptations. And recognizing this isn't about blaming parents or excusing behaviors. It's about gaining understanding. Because understanding is what allows us to grieve. And grieving opens the door to healing. As Jay says, “You can't just try to stop an unhealthy behavior. You have to understand why you were drawn to that behavior in the first place.” Shame Keeps You Stuck. Curiosity Sets You Free. As Christians, we know the seriousness of sin. But too often, we try to hate our way to holiness. We believe that if we punish ourselves enough, we'll finally change. But, the Apostle Paul tells us that it is God's kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). Not our contempt. Not our loathing. Not our self-hatred. Jay encouraged us to replace self-contempt with curiosity. Ask yourself: Why am I drawn to this behavior? What is the pain underneath my actions? What does this reveal about my longing to be seen, known, and loved? When we approach our story with curiosity, we give God space to reveal the roots of our pain. The Shark of Shame: Swim Toward It Jay also shared a fascinating metaphor that I just love: Professional shark diver Andy Casagrande was once asked what to do if a great white shark is swimming toward you. His answer? Swim toward it. If you swim away, you act like prey. But if you move toward the shark, it confuses the predator, and it backs away. Shame operates the same way. When we run from it, it devours us. But when we confront it — facing it head on, sharing vulnerably in trusted community, seeking counseling, and naming our wounds — we rob shame of its power. Swim toward the shark of shame. Face it. Name it. And watch as it loses its grip on your life. Jesus Took Your Shame to the Cross This is where our faith becomes not just helpful, but essential. The world offers coping strategies, but Jesus offers complete redemption. He didn't just take your sin to the cross; He took your shame. Through His death and resurrection, we are invited into freedom. If you've ever felt like your past disqualifies you from God's love, let me remind you: Jesus knew your struggles when He went to the cross. He went anyway. He has already made a way for you to live in righteousness, peace, and freedom. This is the hope of Easter. The hope of the Gospel. From Crisis to Calling: Your Story Matters So often, the crises of our lives — the shame, the addictions, the brokenness — are actually invitations to transformation. Jay shared that in the absence of elders to guide us through rites of passage, our souls will create crises that force us to confront our identity and our wounds. Rather than run from the crisis, we can see it as a holy opportunity. Your struggle is not the end of your story. It's the beginning of a new chapter. When you engage your story with honesty and curiosity, you step into the redemption God has for you. You become part of His story of restoration — not just for you, but for others. Final Encouragement: There Is Hope for You Dear friend, this journey is not about perfection. It's about progress. It's about engaging your story with curiosity, leaning into the kindness of God, and walking the path of healing, step by step. Jesus took your sin. He took your shame. And He rose again to give you new life. This Easter, may you embrace the truth that resurrection is possible for you, too. You are deeply loved. You are seen. You are not alone. Happy Easter.   With love,   Belah & Team   PS - Check out Jay's book here: Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing PPS - If you want to take the first step into freedom and healing your marriage, schedule a free Clarity Call with us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: “My husband and I lived parallel lives almost our entire marriage…The only thing he wanted from me in the relationship was sex. That was the last thing I wanted to give him because I was exhausted from trying to be the super mom and head of the household. This caused a rift in our relationship…After a separation in our own home we each began our own counseling…Both of our counselors questioned if a form of sex addiction might be part of the problem. I dove into trying to learn everything I could about sex addiction. I joined a 12 step group for spouses of sex addicts. That program is about avoiding unhealthy sexual behaviors. I didn't even know what healthy sexual behaviors were. After 4 years of marriage counseling and feeling stuck in a marriage that was barely hanging on, I discovered your program. I found hope for my marriage and began to see my husband in a different light”

I am joined today by author Jay Stringer to talk about sexual stuckness/difficulties/struggles. Healthy sexuality is deeply tied to the degree to which we have made sense of our story in our family of origin. Sadly, so few of us have ever been asked to connect the dots between our past life story and the sexual difficulties we face in the present. Today, Jay and I try to connect some of those dots. If you want to understand your sexual story in more depth, please sign up for The Sexual Attachment Conference on May 3rd, 2025. We want to help you understand and transform some of the sexual difficulties you may be experiencing either individually or as a couple.

What's your plan for outgrowing porn? The Five Circles tool will help you define what freedom looks like, why it matters, and how to set yourself up for success.Download the Five Circles Of Freedom worksheet at husbandmaterial.com/freedom Mentioned in this episode:Tools For Healing: The Three Circles (blog)Staci Sprout (creator of the Five Circles Model)How To Reframe A Porn Relapse (podcast episode)Unwanted, by Jay Stringer (book; paid link)The Five Circles Of Freedom (worksheet)Support the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

Shame: The Silent Thief of Identity | Breaking Free Through Christ Shame is more than a fleeting emotion—it's a force that erodes identity, distorts relationships, and keeps us trapped in cycles of self-doubt and self-destruction. In this episode of the Exploring More Podcast, Michael Thompson and SJ Jennings dive deep into the nature of shame, comparing it to cancer in the spiritual realm—silent, invasive, and deeply damaging. Through personal stories, expert insights from Brene Brown and Jay Stringer, and biblical truths, they uncover how shame often takes root in relational moments, shaping false identities and leading to self-protective behaviors. But there's hope. Jesus offers a way to break free—not through punishment, but through love, grace, and the restoration of our true identity. Join us as we unpack the systems that reinforce shame, the impact it has on our lives, and the liberating power of the Gospel to set us free. If you've ever wrestled with shame, this conversation is for you. Let's explore more together. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments—we're on this journey with you! We hope you enjoy this episode and invite you to connect with us!

"Marriage can be heaven, and marriage can be hell." -Dan Allender Anyone who is married knows that marriage can reach the extremes of human experience, and sometimes even in the same day. It's the lab in which we grow personally, and where we grow together. It's also the place where everything can fall apart. Today Dan Allender of The Allender Center joins us to explore the transformative power of marriage, particularly in midlife. He talks about the deep work of understanding one another's stories, the role of trauma in relationships (even if you feel like you don't have any), and the necessity of dealing with emotional triggers. Dan is both funny and deeply inspiring. He is an expert at the top of his field, and also the first one to reveal and share what he is experiencing in his own imperfect marriage. You will gain insight into the complexities of relationships, the importance of change-agents in marriage, the dynamics of conflict resolution, and come to a fresh understanding of how fighting for marriage is deeply spiritual work. SOME THINGS YOU HEARD ON THE SHOW: The Deeply Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Healing, Intimacy, and Delight by Dan Allender and Steve Call Unwanted by Jay Stringer website-Dan Allender Quotes from the episode: 35% of divorces are "gray divorces," meaning they involve couples 50 years of ago and older. Our brains have the power to change, but only by engagement deeply within what we'll call our right hemisphere, our emotional portions. If there is not a fabric of forgiveness, then we are in deep waters without a paddle. Difference is where almost all conflict begins. 70 % of the conflict in marriage does not have a right answer. You grow in trust by the capacity to deal with conflict, not to resolve, but to a deepened understanding. And to a deepened understanding allows us to allow difference to continue to occur.but without either the fear or the judgment that's often there. I hope the sense of having work to do is kind of like, I get to put my foot on the neck of evil here. Hell no, I do not want something that has lingered in my body and my heart and my mind to continue to shape something of how I respond to the future. QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU RISE What part of your story can you re-engage with your spouse in order to work toward greater healing? Hint: think about what triggers you. What part of your spouse's story can you re-engage? If 70% of all arguments don't have a "right answer," how can you adjust how you've been approaching a conflict area with your spouse? The change agents Dan lists in his book are humility, honesty, kindness, curiosity, defiance, and an intention to bless. What one is most needed right now in your marriage? How can you "stand on the neck of evil" and push past a particularly difficult part of your marriage? LET'S CONNECT! Did you like this episode? Let us know and leave a review on itunes or share it with a friend. Or message us on Instagram – we'd love to hear from you! Get the Daily Dozen Checklist -12 habits that will immediately make you happier and healthier

Tune into this very special episode where Kyle and his wife Samantha chat about the sex fast they did a few years ago. Was it helpful? Would they do it again? Listen now! Links from today's episode: Kyle's Sextimony (Episode 94) "My Husband Was Addicted To Porn" part 1 (Episode 96) "The Impact Of His Porn Addiction On Me" part 2 (Episode 97) Jay Stringer's Book: Unwanted 6 Pillars of Intimacy Book ⁠⁠Join Unite & Ignite ⁠⁠ Want more from Kingdom Sexuality? Come hang out! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook Group⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Welcome back for our next episode on Season 2. As a reminder, The PodTASC has been rebranded to Justice & Recovery. Same show, different name, as we continue to explore Texas Specialty Court programs. Liz brings another wonderful guest speaker to the show - Stephen Ellison, a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor of Midland County. Stephen shares his journey from a career in the food industry to his current role as the Intensive Outpatient Program Counselor for several specialty court programs. Links/information discussed during the show can be found below:  Contact the show with comments or questions by emailing JusticeRecoveryPodcacst@gmail.com. TASC is hosting its annual training conference on March 24-26, 2025, in Corpus Christi. Registration is now open! Learn more: http://tasctx.org/conference.html Texas Association of Specialty Courts (TASC): http://www.tasctx.org/ TASC Award Nominations: http://www.tasctx.org/awards.html Midland Probation Department programs:  https://midlandcountymi.gov/probation Midland County DWI Court: https://www.co.midland.tx.us/778/DWI-Court Family Promise: https://www.familypromiseofmidland.com/ Fair Havens: https://mfh.org/ Oxford House: https://www.oxfordhousetx.org/ Salvation Army: https://southernusa.salvationarmy.org/texas-midland Springboard Center: https://springboardcenter.org/ Thriving United: https://thrivingunited.org/ Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing – Book by Jay Stringer: https://a.co/d/eDRkm64 Maxie's of Las Vegas: https://maxieslv.com/ Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/ Adam Grant: https://adamgrant.net/

Today's guest Jay Stringer (known by some as "the porn whisperer") shares how your sexual struggles could be predicted by your untreated past trauma. You don't want to miss this incredible episode! Special thanks to Covenant Eyes for sponsoring this series on pornography! Use our code KS30 to get your first 30 days free! Links from today's episode: Covenant Eyes (KS30 for your first 30 days free!!) Arise Unwanted by Jay Stringer Unwanted Workbook The Journey Course @jay_stringer_ Jay-stringer.com  ⁠⁠Join Unite & Ignite ⁠⁠ Want more from Kingdom Sexuality? Come hang out! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook Group⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you've spent years wishing your sexual thoughts and feelings would go away, this episode is for you. Related resources:Unwanted, by Jay Stringer (paid link)How To Interpret Sexual FantasiesHow To Analyze Sexual FantasiesWhy We Sexualize Emotions...And How To Desexualize ThemTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

In this episode, we kickoff our Plumblines section of Kinsmen Journal with an original essay from author and psychotherapist Jay Stringer on the subject of desire. This topic is one that can quickly lead to discussions about shame and what men shouldn't be doing. Instead though, Jay invites us to explore the subject further and consider desire through a different lens. Jay's book, Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing is regarded as one of the foremost resources on the subject. This is an episode not to be missed, though it may be sensitive for listeners under 13.

Parents, this episode is for you! Join Rachael Clinton Chen as she sits down with Jay and Heather Stringer to explore how to talk to your kids about sensitive topics like the body, desire, sex, puberty, and even pornography in ways that are kind and attuned to their needs.  Jay and Heather share the importance of parents first exploring their own stories around sexuality, as unresolved issues or patterns in our own upbringing can impact how we approach these conversations with our children.  In this episode, you'll find thoughtful discussions on attachment, body image, puberty, sex, and how to navigate challenging subjects like porn and sexting. Instead of having one big, awkward conversation, Jay and Heather suggest having ongoing, age-appropriate chats that feel natural and comfortable. The aim is to empower your kids to feel confident and informed as they learn about their bodies and desires, all within the safety of a loving and supportive environment. If you're looking to change the narrative for your kids around sex and want to create intentional, meaningful conversations, this episode is a great place to start. Please note that this episode contains discussions of sex and sexual development and may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised.  

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"For men and women seeking recovery from unwanted sexual behavior, few people have been as influential or helpful as Michael John Cusick. Greg, Stacey, and Bobby all share some of our experiences with how Michael's book and podcast have been invaluable in our own path forward. Greg first met Michael in 2014 when he spoke at Beeson Divinity School in Birmingham, AL. Michael is a therapist,  author, and Founder/CEO of Restoring the Soul, a counseling practice that provides opportunities for life-changing breakthrough with licensed and experienced therapists. Their holistic approach creates an atmosphere of safety and grace where people can explore their relationships, identity, emotions, and spirituality. In 2012 Michael released the book Surfing For God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggles. It, along with Jay Stringer's book Unwanted, has been extraordinarily powerful in helping people discover what needs they are actually trying to meet when pursuing broken behavior. The book contains a story (that Greg and Michael talk about) that's part of the reason for our podcast's name! Restoring the Soul offers individual and group intensive therapy experiences, as well as a blog, podcast, and other resources. Restoring the Soul website Restoring the Soul podcast Surfing For God book (on Amazon)Training Session at Beeson Divinity School (2014) Awaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

If you've been wrestling with sexual "stuff," you may wonder things like, How did I end up this way? Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep trying harder and nothing seems to change? Why aren't my prayers working? How do I get out of this mess? In this conversation with Dr. Carol, counselor, author, and minister Jay Stringer explains why the details of your story, especially your sexual story, shine the light on the path to healing. He uses attachment theory to explain how we come to be where we are, including how our relationship with God is impacted. And he describes what is takes to find the path to wholeness and holiness. Find Jay Stringer on his website, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Check out the Sexual Attachment Conference Find Jay's book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing    Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

We've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's telling her story--and it's a mesmerizing one--of what happened as her family got more and more into the Bill Gothard movement (and she was eventually one of the ones he allegedly abused, and was part of the lawsuit).But when you grow up feeling like your main role is to submit, are you even able to recognize abuse?Lauren tells her story of being in an abusive marriage, and how she eventually realized something was wrong and came out of it.(Also: at the beginning I quoted a Bible passage and said Matthew 18. I meant Matthew 15. Sorry!)Our Sponsor:The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women.  View a sample of the Bible here!To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!About Lauren Rose and Called to Peace:Called to Peace MinistriesFind Called to Peace on Facebook, including my interview on how Sexual Coercion is Domestic AbuseThings Mentioned in the Podcast: Our podcast with another Gothard Survivor, Emily ElizabethOur interview with Alyssa Wakefield, who grew up in a Gothard home and was groomed for abuse (Part 1, and Part 2).Our podcast episode 229 with Jay Stringer about Josh Howerton's wedding night adviceMy Twitter thread about Josh Howerton's "apology"The original thread that went viral, as well as a Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

What is story work? Where did it come from? What does it look like? In part 1 of this 4-part series, Drew shares his story: "The Day I Got Braces."If you love this series, you'd love Husband Material Groups.Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/groupDrew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.comWendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center. Wendell serves as adjunct faculty at The Seattle School Of Theology & Psychology. Email Wendell at bishopmoss@gmail.comMarcus Spaur is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, and CCAR Coach. Marcus is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. Learn more at betweenthecoverscoaching.comChris Inman (M.Div, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Certified Professional Recovery Coach. Chris is the founder of Porn-Free Masculinity. Email Chris at chris@np-recovery.comResources for Story Work:The Allender Center and Allender Theory (organization, podcast, courses)Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way To Healing, by Jay Stringer (book)Redeeming Heartache, with Cathy Loerzel (video)The Place We Find Ourselves, by Adam Young (podcast)The ReStory Course, by Restory Counseling (video course)Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

I am joined today by author Jay Stringer to talk about sexual stuckness/difficulties/pain. Healthy sexuality is deeply tied to the degree to which we have made sense of our story in our family of origin. Sadly, so few of us have ever been asked to connect the dots between our past life story and the sexual difficulties we face in the present. Today, Jay and I try to connect some of those dots. If you want to understand your sexual story in more depth, please sign up for The Sexual Attachment Conference on May 4th. We want to help you understand and transform some of the unique sexual difficulties you may be experiencing either individually or as a couple. 

Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do." Sex was presented as something that HE has been waiting for his whole life, and that she has to provide.  There was no emphasis on how she actually has greater need to be cared for sexually, if you're going to begin well, than he does. Jay Stringer joins us today to talk about how the conversation around sex often leads to couples starting off badly--and also allows men to not have to grow up or do the work of being mature, emotionally healthy people.Our Sponsor:The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A victim-centered approach to what forgiveness looks like after betrayal. Rather than pressuring a victim to forgive, let's examine what Scripture says about lament, anger, accountability, and what reconciliation looks like. I was so, so blown away by this book, and saw things in Scripture I never saw before. Check out Susannah Griffith's story, and this amazing book.  To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!About Jay Stringer:Check out Jay's book UnwantedFind Jay on InstagramLearn more about the upcoming Sexual Attachment ConferenceLinks We Mentioned:Jay's first podcast with us on his book UnwantedOur book The Great Sex Rescue, with the stats on vaginismus and sexual painOur books for engaged couples, The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexOur podcast looking at Josh and Jana's Howerton's sex talkThe podcast showing how Josh Howerton plagiarizes in his sermonsThe Orgasm CourseThe Marriage Night at Lakepointe Church Howerton was referring to The study on the effects of orgasm the first time you have sexJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

This week on the Exodus Cry Podcast, we welcome Jay Stringer, a therapist, author, and researcher focused on sexual health. Jay dives into the widespread issue of porn addiction, offering practical insights for those seeking freedom. Tune in for valuable perspectives on overcoming sexual brokenness and fostering healthier relationships. LINKS: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7h6K1rU... Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Watch our films: www.exoduscry.com/watch Give & fuel the fight: www.exoduscry.com/donate Get involved: www.exoduscry.com/getinvolved Website: www.exoduscry.com Podcast: www.exoduscry.com/podcast Articles: www.exoduscry.com/articles SOCIALS: Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/exoduscry Instagram: www.instagram.com/exoduscry TikTok: www.tiktok.com/exoduscry Twitter: www.twitter.com/exoduscry Facebook: www.facebook.com/exoduscry Exodus Cry is a leading global anti-trafficking nonprofit organization focused on ending widespread sex trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation, exposing this injustice for millions worldwide, and helping its victims to rebuild their lives.

This week we talk about, streaming service changes, Mata's content restrictions, and Andrew Tate.  For the full conversation with Jay Stringer, check out this Wednesday's episode of our Culture Translator podcast. For more Axis resources, go to axis.org 

Today we're reposting our conversation with Jay Stringer, who helps us understand why, and what approaches are actually useful in dealing with sexual brokenness. Jay is a licensed mental health counselor, an ordained minister, and an acclaimed international speaker dedicated to helping both men and women find freedom from sexual brokenness and pursue the life they truly desire.  For more resources, go to axis.org 

In this episode we briefly wrap up our commentary on the Fatherhood section of Volume I. In doing so, we provide some timely resources for you to explore in the new year. Also, we introduce an essay on desire by Jay Stringer. Jay is a psychotherapist and challenges each of us on the way in which we think about the subject of desire in our lives. This is a powerful essay and an episode that's not to be missed as we start the new year.

In today's episode of Lust is Boring, Jason welcomes Sr. Miriam James Heidland, SOLT, to discuss her testimony and her ministry of healing. Together, the two take a DEEP dive into what the patterns of our broken relationships reveal about ourselves, and how this can illuminate the path toward healing. They discuss: How childhood trauma can impact future relationships How our bodies reveal what we're afraid to admit How we can forgive others How we can forgive ourselves How to learn to trust again How to find help when you need healing And more… Come with us on Pilgrimage: https://selectinternationaltours.com/product/pilgrimage-to-italy-january-13-21-2024-24rs01itje/ Support us on Patreon: http://patreon.com/jasonevert Friends of the Bridegroom: www.renewreligious.org Sister Miriam's Podcast: https://www.abidingtogetherpodcast.com The Body Keeps the Score: https://tinyurl.com/4zmbvxza Be Healed: https://jpiihealingcenter.org/product/be-healed-dr-bob-schuchts-copy/ Be Restored: https://jpiihealingcenter.org/product/be-restored-dr-bob-schuchts/ Restore the Glory: https://www.restoretheglorypodcast.com JP2 Healing Center: https://jpiihealingcenter.org Jay Stringer: https://jay-stringer.com  

How we show up in the world often takes on a wide variety of expressions. Our public and private lives reflect the many roles we play in society and the varying facets of personality traits we form to cope with different situations. From parent to co-worker, artist or spiritual practitioner, from a social media persona to a dinner guest with friends, even bygone roles remaining with us from childhood, our sense of identity moves through a myriad of shapes and forms. But what happens when these different aspects of our lives no longer communicate? Or when we are expected to abide by a former version of ourselves that no longer reflects our current view of the world? Joining me for this conversation is licensed mental health therapist, Jay Stringer. Jay's academic background includes a master's degree in counseling psychology from the renowned Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. As well as he has received specialized training under Dr. Dan Allender while serving as a Senior Fellow at the Allender Center.As we approach our final episodes on this seasons theme of art and identity, I think you'll find Jay's perspective to be both rewarding and challenging. Patrons of the podcast can enjoy an additional interview segment with Jay at Patreon.com/makersamdmystics Get Tickets to The Breath & the Clay Bright Wings poetry Contest (until Dec.15th)Art Submissions Now Open!

What does it mean to feel stuck in unwanted sexual behavior, and how does our personal anger factor into the equation? This very question is what we are unpacking in this episode with our guest Aaron Tagert. We walk with you through the profound insights of Jay Stringer, aiming to shed light on the six core experiences that characterize these struggles: deprivation, dissociation, unconscious arousal, futility, lust, and anger. In the midst of these conversations, Aaron urges us to gently examine our own experiences, inviting us to engage with our patterns through a lens of curiosity and compassion.Furthermore, Aaron introduces an exciting upcoming resource, a tailored coaching group for men on the journey toward understanding their sexual struggles. Over the course of eight intensive weeks, participants are guided to explore their stories within a faith-filled and supportive community. This group is not just about identifying participants' struggles, but about climbing out of them and discovering fascinating prospects of freedom. Together, we hope that this exploration leads us to a deeper self-understanding and a more intimate connection with God. Tune in and join us as we uncover the mysteries of unwanted sexual behavior and the paths toward overcoming them. Want us to talk about a specific topic? Change up the format, or just tell us the podcast rocks! We want your feedback on Becoming Whole. You can leave your feedback here

What if we told you that exploring your past could be the key to unlocking your sexual wholeness and integrity? This episode is a powerful exploration of understanding sexual brokenness and the path toward healing. Join our riveting conversation with Aaron Tagert, a seasoned coach at Regeneration, as we dissect the insights from Jay Stringer's thought-provoking book, Unwanted. We'll confront our family dynamics, the effects of abandonment and enmeshment, and the pivotal role curiosity plays in this journey. Story work, as you'll discover, can offer profound insights into our lives, habits, and patterns of brokenness.Ever wondered why we remain stuck in patterns of sexual brokenness and how we can liberate ourselves? Our guest, Aaron Tagert, brings his expertise to the table, illustrating God's care for our past and His invitation to participate in our healing process. Together, we'll probe into addressing sexual temptation and the significance of curiosity in decoding the reasons behind our actions. This isn't just another episode; it's an invitation to embark on a journey towards sexual wholeness. So, tune in, and let's discover the path to freedom together. Want us to talk about a specific topic? Change up the format, or just tell us the podcast rocks! We want your feedback on Becoming Whole. You can leave your feedback here

Join us as we continue our discussion regarding hope after pornography with a focus on some ways to untwist shame and the power it holds over us when we are struggling with unwanted behavior. A resource we discuss and highly recommend is the book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer. We also refer to Episode 9 of our podcast where we go into a deeper discussion of Todd's healing journey. Here is a link to that episode if you would like to listen: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/a3cjHQp4sEb

Jay speaks about his book called Unwanted that is informed by his understanding of the gospel and his own clinical work addressing unwanted sexual behavior from a very loving and gracious approach. Jay's Info: https://jay-stringer.com/ Social Media: @Jay_stringer_ The Parallel: @theparallelpod DM "God's Plan"Godly Pleasure Event Pre-Event Call: https://calendly.com/sonata-allison/preevent

Below are several links to resources mentioned in this podcast episode:THE STORY OF MARRIAGE BOOKLET — Park Hill Church's statement of commitment to the historic Christian teachings on marriage, singleness, and sexuality)SAN DIEGO REVOICE CHAPTER — Revoice Chapters are local community hubs for sexual minorities who follow Jesus. We meet once a month to foster connection, provide safety, and emphasize dignity. We partner with local sexual minorities to facilitate groups, and with local ministers to provide pastoral care as needed. PEOPLE TO BE LOVED — Preston Sprinkle's important book continues to provide the global church much-needed guidance around this every-important conversation. The LGBTQ+ conversation is not primarily about issues to be discussed, but people to be loved. UNWANTED — This incredible book by Jay Stringer has helped countless people who are longing for hope in the midst of unwanted sexual behavior. This book is for all people, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, who want to better understand the reasons undergirding our longings and desires. The truth is more beautiful that we can imagine.

This week we are joined by Jay Stringer. Jay is a licensed mental health counselor, an ordained minister, and an acclaimed international speaker dedicated to helping both men and women find freedom from sexual brokenness and pursue the life they truly desire. Through his clinical work, he offers a comprehensive understanding of the origins of sexual brokenness, shedding light on the factors that sustain these struggles. Jay's academic background includes an MDiv and a master's degree in counseling psychology from the renowned Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. We'll be talking today about his book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. For more written, audio and video resources, go to axis.org.

What if your sexual desires and struggles could help you achieve deeper healing? In this episode, Juli hosts author and licensed mental health counselor Jay Stringer. Jay is deeply curious about the inner workings of our minds, and he loves to help people connect the dots between their sin struggles, the challenges they face, and the places they need healing in their hearts. Join Juli and Jay as they discuss how research helps us make sense of our sin and equips us to free ourselves from unwanted desires and outcomes.   Contribute to Jay's Pioneering Research Jay is now exploring the far-reaching, deep-seated topic of human desire. He needs your help to find some answers. The Holistic Desire Survey is anonymous and your honest responses will contribute to the healing of so many individuals and couples who are facing desire problems.  There are two versions of the survey: A survey for individuals and one for couples. To take the individual survey, click here, and if you'd like to participate in the couple's survey, click here to email the research team and recieve your personal link to the survey. Please complete the survey by August 31st 2023.     Guest: Jay Stringer, LMHC Jay's Website: jay-stringer.com/ Jay's Instagram: @jay_stringer_ Website: The Holistic Desire Survey Java with Juli: #275: Finding Freedom from Unwanted Desires Java with Juli: #211 Understanding Pornography Addiction Java with Juli: #452 Porn Addiction in Marriage: How to Let God Redeem Your Story Q&A: Is there any hope for me in my struggle with porn? Q&A: How do I get past the shame of sexual sin?

What if I told you that your sexual struggles could be predicted by your untreated trauma?Today, we're joined by author Jay Stringer who studied ~4,000 men and women who struggle with sexual compulsion or addiction, such porn, masturbation, affairs, buying sex, and much more. In this episode, we breakdown his NEW study and more:How the sexual fantasies and porn searches of the study participants could be predicted by their untreated traumaWhy we often repeat behavior that harmed us, such as sexual abuse or affairs, and how to avoid thatHow anger actually drives unwanted sexual behaviorWhy people from rigid or disengaged families are much more likely to struggle with sexual compulsion or addictionHow in order to break free, you have to listen to your lust and understand why you struggle in the particular ways that you doWhy typical lust management strategies like accountability software are not enoughWhether you struggle with sexual brokenness or know someone who does, this episode will help anyone find healing and lasting freedom from sexual brokenness.Buy Jay's Book: Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to HealingGet FREE Unwanted ChaptersGet FREE Mini-Course: Why You Feel BrokenShownotes

You and your spouse's intimacy issues began long before you were married. Award-winning author, therapist, and ordained minister Jay Stringer has integrated the best of research and marital modalities for a deeper understanding of how our intimacy patterns began, and more importantly, how they can truly improve together. Today in this vital episode for marital healing, we take a truly biopsychosocialspiritual journey across the most important ways you can build safety together. Take the holistic desire survey here! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/holisticdesire For the couple's research survey on desire, send both your emails to madeline@heartofmanjourney.com Jay's website: https://jay-stringer.com/

What if most counselors treat porn recovery and sex addiction all wrong? What if one's very desires are the roadmap to sexual healing and wholeness? In today's show, Jason interviews Christian author and therapist Jay Stringer, and the two discuss: Why most attempts to manage lust fall short Why we're more likely to be ashamed of our unwanted sexual behaviors when we don't understand them What's often at the root of sexual addiction What our current desires tell us about our past Why porn is sometimes consumed to eroticize trauma and not simply anesthetize our memories of it Learn more about Jay's work: https://jay-stringer.com Come with us to Italy: https://chastity.com/pilgrimage/ Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jasonevert

Today, we're discussing pornography and erotica, and you can probably guess where our collective opinions land. But we want to explore this topic just a little further to solidify where your values land. Sponsor Strong Wives - Coaching & Sexual Clarity Course Email Bonny: bonny@strongwives.com From the Bible So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 (NLT) I will conduct the affairs of my house     with a blameless heart. I will not look with approval     on anything that is vile. Psalm 101:2b–3a Drink water from your own cistern,     running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets,     your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone,     never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed,     and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:15–18 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes. Proverbs 6:25 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” Matthew 5:27–30 "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman." Job 31:1 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4 Resources Defining Pornography • Bonny's Oysterbed7 Episode 3: 50 Shades of Here-We-Go-Again A Shaded View of Romance | The Forgiven Wife Are Romance Novels Okay for Christian Women? | The Forgiven Wife As Bad as Porn? | The Forgiven Wife Common Myths of Romance Novels - Hot, Holy & Humorous An Open Letter on Porn (gottman.com) Why Do Women Pose for Porn? - Hot, Holy & Humorous Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer 5 Reasons to Stop Using Porn...Now - Hot, Holy & Humorous It's True: Porn Can Kill Your Sex Life - Hot, Holy & Humorous You're Not Freaking Out, You're Responding to Death • Strong Wives The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst by Michelle Mays Q&A with J: "My Husband Is Addicted to Porn" - Hot, Holy & Humorous Episode 40: Healing after Porn Discovery Strong Wives - Bonny's website Hope For Wives Podcast: Overcoming the Impact of Sexual Betrayal Is Porn Use an Addiction (and Does It Even Matter)? | The Forgiven Wife Q&A with J: "What Should We Call Persistent Porn Use?" - Hot, Holy & Humorous Why Does He Watch Porn? Understanding Root Causes • Bonny's Oysterbed7 Critiques of Questionable & Misleading Studies; Debunking Propaganda Pieces (yourbrainonporn.com) Check out our webinars. Some are priced at $5, some at $10 — ALL an amazing deal! Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we'd appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmas) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

In this episode I'm joined by Jay Stringer, a licensed mental health counselor, and we talk about the importance of facing and addressing trauma and pain in order to heal and grow. Our tendency often is to numb or run away from pain - or attempt to manage it, but it is more important to be a witness to one's own story while also having empathetic witnesses in the form of supportive friends and family. Learn more about Jay here - https://jay-stringer.com/ On the Extended Version ... Jay and I continue the conversation and  highlight the importance of facing and processing trauma and pain in order to grow and heal, while also acknowledging the difficulty and complexity of doing so.. Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code Passion at https://manscaped.com Adventure Challenge Mini Dates: Our friends at The Adventure Challenge have a new resource, Mini Dates! Get 20% off when you use our code PM20 at  https://www.theadventurechallenge.com The post Lust Management | Jay Stringer #622 first appeared on Sexy Marriage Radio.

In this episode I'm joined by Jay Stringer, a licensed mental health counselor, and we talk about the importance of facing and addressing trauma and pain in order to heal and grow. Our tendency often is to numb or run away from pain - or attempt to manage it, but it is more important to be a witness to one's own story while also having empathetic witnesses in the form of supportive friends and family. Learn more about Jay here - https://jay-stringer.com/ On the Extended Version ... Jay and I continue the conversation and  highlight the importance of facing and processing trauma and pain in order to grow and heal, while also acknowledging the difficulty and complexity of doing so.. Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code Passion at https://manscaped.com Adventure Challenge Mini Dates: Our friends at The Adventure Challenge have a new resource, Mini Dates! Get 20% off when you use our code PM20 at  https://www.theadventurechallenge.com

We are finishing up our Sexual Wholeness series and if you haven't been listening, make sure you go back and tune it to  some of the fantastic interviews with Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma. We are bringing  Jay Stinger back on the podcast to help us talk about how to develop healthy sexuality in our children. We have a lot of kindred connections with Jay and we so appreciate his work.     Jay Stringer is a licensed mental health counselor, ordained minister, researcher and speaker on the subject of sexual desire. Jay is the author of the award-winning book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. Unwanted is based on a multi-year research project with over 3,800 men and women to understand the key drivers of unwanted sexual behavior; pornography, infidelity, or buying sex. Jay is based in New York City where he lives with his wife, Heather, and their two children.   Resources Jay recommends are listed on his Instagram bio. Next week we will be talking with one of the experts he mentions, Kristen Miele, who developed Sex Ed Reclaimed! Don't miss it.  To connect with Jay, visit the following: WEBSITE -  jay-stringer.com SOCIAL -  Instagram: jay_stringer_ Facebook: @JayStringerUnwanted Twitter: @_jaystringer   BOOK - Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, by Jay Stringer   ========================   We LOVE that you have decided to join us this week for the Living Wholehearted Podcast. We hope you enjoyed the conversation, tips, and resources to help you transform every relationship that matters most to you. If you think this will help someone you know, make sure you send it their way or share on socials. Tag us @living_wholehearted and @terramattson! Don't forget to FOLLOW/SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss an episode and help spread the word by leaving us some stars on a review. Thanks for partnering with us to help more leaders, just like you, who want to live and lead with integrity at home, work and in the community.  Go to livingwholehearted.com and sign up to receive our free leadership tips and updates delivered to you in our monthly newsletter. And, if you are a girl mom, check out mycourageousgirls.com.   Until next time, be the leader you would follow!   Grateful for you, Jeff & Terra   To connect with Jeff & Terra Mattson and Living Wholehearted, go to:   INSTAGRAM @TerraMattson @Living_Wholehearted @MyCourageousGirls   FACEBOOK @WeAreLivingWholehearted @MyCourageousGirls   WEBSITES LivingWholehearted.com TerraMattson.com  MyCourageousGirls.com   RESOURCES Shrinking the Integrity Gap        https://davidccook.org/shrinking-integrity-gap-book/       https://a.co/d/dRiP4Ii Shrinking the Integrity Gap e-Course        https://www.livingwholeheartedstore.com/e-courses Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace       https://mycourageousgirls.com/shop/p/book-courageous-being-daughters-rooted-in-grace Dear Mattsons        https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdPzQ_cUwCbRc-MQ40KL3a6ze06CiY38l Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters        http://cpguides.org  

We are in the middle of a sexual wholeness series. Last week, I spoke with Dr. Ryan Hosley about sex addiction, what it is and how someone can find healing. Dr. Ryan spoke about the spouse in several situations and the necessity to bring them into the healing process. This is where I spent most of my role as a marriage and trauma therapist for close to twenty years, helping leaders who found themselves in a sexual betrayal marriage and wanting to find healing and restoration. I learned so much along the way, from the PTSD that spouses carry due to betrayal to the practical steps needed for all parties to heal. Whether you are in this situation, walking with someone here, or are leading those who are or may end up here, today's conversation is for you.    Our guest today, Stephanie Broersma, is a living example of how God brings beauty from ashes in the lives of His children. Married since 2002, she and her husband, Tim, have walked through the valley of marital betrayal and come out the other side stronger, more in love as they continue to pursue recovery, and fully devoted to Christ. She now heads Reclaimed Ministry, an organization that seeks to help other broken brides recover from the pain and devastation of marital infidelity. Stephanie and her husband have four children, and when she finds spare time, enjoys trail running, gardening and spending time with friends and family. She lives in the Northwest pocket of Washington state.    Reclaimed Small Groups are small, confidential, multi-church groups that meet to walk through the topics found in the Reclaimed: Finding Your Identity After Marital Betrayal book. These intimate groups provide close accountability with other women in similar situations. The groups offer support, understanding, and encouragement as they work through the twelve-week course. Much like Reclaimed: Finding Your Identity After Marital Betrayal, the focus is always on the vertical relationship with Jesus Christ. Visit www.reclaimedministry.com for more information and to purchase Reclaimed resources. Other resources include the Made New Conference coming September 2023.    You might also want to listen to Dr. Sheri Keffer, author of Intimate Deceptions, in episode #34. Jay Stringer also speaks in episode #33, but will be with us again next week in episode #179 as he helps us raise kids with a healthy sexuality. To connect with Stephanie, visit: ONLINE - www.reclaimedministry.com SOCIAL -    Follow Reclaimed on the socials:     Instagram: @reclaimedministry     Facebook: Reclaimed Ministry   Join the Facebook private community:     Reclaimed Ministry Community   BOOK -  Reclaimed: Finding Your Identity After Marital Betrayal, by Stephanie Broersma   ========================   We LOVE that you have decided to join us this week for the Living Wholehearted Podcast. We hope you enjoyed the conversation, tips, and resources to help you transform every relationship that matters most to you. If you think this will help someone you know, make sure you send it their way or share on socials. Tag us @living_wholehearted and @terramattson! Don't forget to FOLLOW/SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss an episode and help spread the word by leaving us some stars on a review. Thanks for partnering with us to help more leaders, just like you, who want to live and lead with integrity at home, work and in the community.  Go to livingwholehearted.com and sign up to receive our free leadership tips and updates delivered to you in our monthly newsletter. And, if you are a girl mom, check out mycourageousgirls.com.   Until next time, be the leader you would follow!   Grateful for you, Jeff & Terra   To connect with Jeff & Terra Mattson and Living Wholehearted, go to:   INSTAGRAM @TerraMattson @Living_Wholehearted @MyCourageousGirls   FACEBOOK @WeAreLivingWholehearted @MyCourageousGirls   WEBSITES LivingWholehearted.com TerraMattson.com  MyCourageousGirls.com   RESOURCES Shrinking the Integrity Gap        https://davidccook.org/shrinking-integrity-gap-book/       https://a.co/d/dRiP4Ii Shrinking the Integrity Gap e-Course        https://www.livingwholeheartedstore.com/e-courses Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace       https://mycourageousgirls.com/shop/p/book-courageous-being-daughters-rooted-in-grace Dear Mattsons        https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdPzQ_cUwCbRc-MQ40KL3a6ze06CiY38l Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters        http://cpguides.org   Living Wholehearted is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

We've all read the stories of prominent Christian leaders succumbing to some sort of sexual brokenness. No one ever suspects the story will be about them.But do we take active steps to ensure it won't be?With all the stress, anxiety, and external pressures entrepreneurs face, we're often especially tempted to turn to outlets like pornography or infidelity. Most people don't like to talk about this, but the reality is that so many leaders struggle with this issue. We just keep it secret because of shame or embarrassment. At best, we try to fight against our temptations and end up at the same place we started.Jay Stringer offers us a different path forward on today's podcast. The psychotherapist and author helps guide people to healing by helping them deal directly with their unwanted desires.Jay has joined the show way back in episode 77, and this will be a standalone extension and continuation of that earlier conversation. Still, we'd highly encourage you to go back and check out that discussion to get the whole picture.If you like this content, don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode.

I've heard it said that it takes 10 positive experiences to equal the power of 1 negative experience. If that's true, then it's no wonder shame is running rampant in our lives. And when shame has more power in our lives than the word of God, we begin to question our worth, isolate and numb. And when these become habitual, we're on our way to forming habits around sinful behaviours such as watching porn. This episode was inspired by a powerful approach Shawn Bonneteau learned from Jay Stringer in his famous book "Unwanted". It's the concept of "swimming toward the shark of shame" so we can face, defy and dismantle the lies we believe about ourselves and other people. It's all too common that we hear in the church that there is no condemnation in Christ, but then we realize the church is full of people who are feeling shame about some area of their lives. This doesn't say anything about Jesus, but it certainly says a lot about the approaches we're offering to handle shame. Here you will learn the 4 step blueprint to defying and dismantling shame so you can live in the truth and light of Jesus Christ. We truly believe this is at the heart of one's freedom and abundance as a Christian. If you learn this, I believe you will begin to reclaim what God intended for you. You will begin to thrive in hope, peace and joy... and we desperately want this for you! This is at the heart of recovery from pmo, betrayal trauma, sexual shame and other sexual struggles. No matter if you're single, dating, engaged, married or divorced, there's so much to learn from the word of God and His truth! It's the only way we can truly defy the lies in our life. Are you ready to take the next steps in your recovery? 1. Want free resources and a safe place to heal? Join our free men's community today 2. Ready to work with a coach? Book a free coaching consult call with Shawn Books mentioned in the episode: - Unwanted by Jay Stringer - Going Deeper by Eddie Capparucci

Jay Stringer joins me to talk about the relationship between our current sexual difficulties and our story in our family of origin. Sexual struggles are rooted in our stories—and, very often, our stories of attachment to our primary caretakers. As Jay puts it, “When it comes to sexual struggles, there are always two story lines at play: there is the story line of your present sexual struggles, and then there is the story line of your growing up experiences which set you up for those present sexual struggles.” If you want to explore your sexual story in more depth, please sign up for the Sexual Attachment Conference on May 5-6. You can sign up here. 

Welcome to our first episode in our For the Love of Sex series! We're excited to break open this topic and find ways to cultivate what sexual health means for each of us and lay down toxic perspectives surrounding sex in our lives. Today we're talking about sexual shame and how that can show inside and outside the bedroom. Matthias Roberts is a psychotherapist, author and podcaster. He wrote a book on sexual shame called “Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms” and is committed to helping people find freedom feeling shame around sex. Jen and Matthias discuss: A working definition of what sexual shame is How Matthias's perspective on sex shifted after coming out in a Christian fundamentalist home Questions to ask ourselves to develop our own sexual ethic How sexual shame can affect every area of our life Ways to stay curious and let go of shame about sex Matthias's queer theological perspective on sex The ways shame can seep into our lives is surprising. Join Jen and Matthias as they unpack, with a compassionate lens, how to stay curious and work toward kicking the shame-filled parts of our sex life to the curb. * * * Thank you to our sponsors! Chime | Sign up for your Chime Credit Builder Visa Credit Card today Chime.com/ForTheLove Thistle Farms | Visit ThistleFarms.org and use promo code FortheLove to get 15% off your order Jen Hatmaker & Friends Cruise | Book your spot now at JenHatmaker.com/cruise Thought-Provoking Quotes “Sexuality is also a really core part of who we are. How we experience or do not experience sexuality is identity construing, and it should be. It is part of who we are.” - Matthias Roberts “We have our shame, we have our sexuality, and then we have our divine, or our beliefs around the divine, and what the divine commands of us or doesn't command of us around our sexuality. And when those things play together, we can get a pretty nasty mix really quickly.” - Matthias Roberts “So many of us try to push shame aside. That's our default, "Push it aside. We're not going to pay attention to this. This hurts." Or we get shut down by it, but we never quite take the time, or a lot of people don't take the time to really listen and figure out what the shame is actually telling us. And I think that's a really, really important place to start, because if we don't know what we're working with, the particularities of the shame, then how do we actually work with it?” - Matthias Roberts “I think there's something around queerness and the ways that queer sexual ethic or queer ways of thinking around sexuality can actually free everyone up.” - Matthias Roberts “What would it mean for our bodies to be good as they are right now? Can we get curious about that? If we feel I have a bad body or that sense of inferiority, what does it mean that my body as it is, right now, in this moment, might actually be good and can bring me pleasure?” - Matthias Roberts “Shame disconnects us. It disconnects us from our bodies, from our communities, from our partners. Sex connects us. It is ultimately a connecting force. So we can actually use our sexuality as a way to reconnect to our bodies, reconnect to our partners.” - Matthias Roberts   Guest's LinksMatthias Roberts Website Matthias's Facebook Matthias's Instagram Matthias's Twitter   Resources Mentioned in This Episode Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms For The Love Podcast Episode with Jay Stringer on Purity Culture For The Love Podcast Episode with Brene Brown on Vulnerability Sex, God, & the Conservative Church Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I  Normal Gossip Podcast Holy Runaways: Rediscovering Faith After Being Burned by Religion Connect with Jen!Jen's website Jen's Instagram Jen's Twitter Jen's Facebook Jen's YouTube  

Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon: Support us for as little as $5 a month to help us branch out and continue this movement!https://patreon.com/baremarriageThe Great Sex Rescue:https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/Our series on our 4 step recovery plan when sex has become a major issue:https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/the-sex-recovery-series-4-point-plan-to-rebuild-your-sex-life/One story on what recovery looks like:https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/heres-what-recovery-from-sexual-problems-looks-like/Article by Matthew Fray on Safety for Women:https://matthewfray.com/2017/04/11/safety-and-trust-in-relationships-those-words-dont-mean-what-you-think-they-mean/Article by XO Marriage on the Four Needs of a Man:https://xomarriage.com/articles/the-four-major-needs-of-a-man/Last week's podcast featuring Jay Stringer:https://youtu.be/QWpfqtr7PK4Our podcast looking at postpartum sexual favors:https://baremarriage.com/2021/11/the-sexual-favors-postpartum-podcast-can-we-please-stop-being-selfish/Nathaniel Jolly's take on rape (major trigger warning):https://baremarriage.com/2022/08/rape-victims-deserve-life-nathaniel-jolly-preaches-death/

Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon: Support us for as little as $5 a month to help us branch out and continue this movement!https://patreon.com/baremarriageThe Great Sex Rescue:https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/Jay Stringer's book Unwanted:https://amzn.to/3DOvJgoJay's website:https://jay-stringer.com/Jay's Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/jay_stringer_/Emily Nagoski's book Come As You Arehttps://amzn.to/3zYymvd

Many, if not most, of us have some sort of sexual brokenness or shame or trauma in our pasts. Today we have a conversation with Jay Stringer about his work in this area. Learn more about Jay and his work here - https://jay-stringer.com/ On the Xtended version … Jay and I dive into his research on the subject of sexual brokenness and porn and trauma. How do you deal with unwanted sexual behaviors in your life when they may be coming from things in your past? Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at  https://manscaped.com The post Sexual Shame and Brokenness | Jay Stringer #588 first appeared on Sexy Marriage Radio.

Many, if not most, of us have some sort of sexual brokenness or shame or trauma in our pasts. Today we have a conversation with Jay Stringer about his work in this area. Learn more about Jay and his work here - https://jay-stringer.com/ On the Xtended version … Jay and I dive into his research on the subject of sexual brokenness and porn and trauma. How do you deal with unwanted sexual behaviors in your life when they may be coming from things in your past? Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at  https://manscaped.com The post Sexual Shame and Brokenness | Jay Stringer #588 appeared first on Sexy Marriage Radio.

Many, if not most, of us have some sort of sexual brokenness or shame or trauma in our pasts. Today we have a conversation with Jay Stringer about his work in this area. Learn more about Jay and his work here - https://jay-stringer.com/ On the Xtended version … Jay and I dive into his research on the subject of sexual brokenness and porn and trauma. How do you deal with unwanted sexual behaviors in your life when they may be coming from things in your past? Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at  https://manscaped.com

We're starting a new series that is going to be fire–it's For the Love of Dating, Sex and Relationships. We're going to cover a lot of territory over the life of this series–and with this episode we're going to start with a question; what was it that you learned about sex during the most formative years of your life? Because whether you realize it or not, this can greatly shape how you approach sex as an adult. Maybe you've been unraveling what it is you think about sex, how you think about your body, what sex means to you–and you're tracing it back to what you learned as teenager or young adult–and maybe that education wasn't positive. To help guide us through making those connections to our early sexual education and how we view sex today is therapist Jay Stringer–returning for his second appearance on the show. Jay pulls back the curtain on the teachings many of us got about sex when we were young. Even if you never were a part of movements like “True Love Waits,” or received lessons on purity culture by your church, or other religious organizations–perhaps there was a rigid sexual space in the childhood home you grew up in. We're speaking to all the ways sex might have been presented to us with messages of shame.  Jay encourages us to look at our sexual stories, seeking ways to find healing and wholeness toward a healthy view of sex. And bonus–for you parents who find talking about sex with your kids akin to a slow, painful death, Jay and Jen talk through ways can engage our kids around sex without the shame approach that a lot of us experienced, and to have those conversations in a loving, age-appropriate way by being open and responsive.   Content Warning: This episode talks extensively about sex, sexuality, and unwanted sexual behaviors, so it may not be suitable for young listeners.    Series Description Y'all. It's time to talk about it. The good, the bad, the ugly, the dramatic, the hilarious. That's right–we're talking about relationships. As Jen dips her toes back in the dating world post-divorce, what better time to call in the experts? For many of us grown adults who haven't dated in a thousand years, the methods have changed, the rules have changed (swipe left anyone?) and we're clueless where to start. And for those of you have been in the mix of it for awhile, you'll still find something new to learn in these conversations that run the gamut  from sex, to matchmaking, to finding love in this new world order. We'll also talk about what to do when your kids start dating, how to navigate the apps (RIP to our sanity), and what to do if you don't want to be single, and if you do, how to find the maximum satisfaction out of going it solo.  We'll chat with experts, friends, mentors, leaders–basically the people who have the receipts to give us the goods on what healthy relationships look like and how to nurture and build them to what they need to be. Because at the end of the day, good relationships with ourselves and others are what makes life sweeter.   * * * Thank you to our sponsors!   Betterhelp | Head to betterhelp.com/forthelove to get 10% off your first month.    Liquid IV | Get 25% off your order at liquidiv.com using code FORTHELOVE at checkout.    Faith MeCourse | Reconnect to your faith today at mecourse.org!  Thought-Provoking Quotes “If you hate your sexual desire, and you are militantly trying to stop it, you are going to develop a very severe and harmful theology, and that's exactly what happened in purity culture.” – Jay Stringer    “I've seen the purity culture really affect women in three particular ways. I would say that it deprioritizes women's sexual pleasure. It set women up for sexual violation. Then, the third, is that it contributed to sexual pain.”  – Jay Stringer    “I think one of the greatest myths out there is that you can't change your past. In some ways, the past is far easier to change than the future, in that you can go back to that scared, adolescent girl, and you can begin to mother her. You can ask her, ‘what are the things that you wish that you would have known back in the day?'”  – Jay Stringer    “When we don't have language for what we're experiencing or what we're coming out of, we aren't going to have language to be able to create a new sexual world, so we've got to educate ourselves. We've got to get into community and start talking through this stuff in order to rewrite our sexual script.”  – Jay Stringer    “For a seed to grow, it has to transgress the seed casing, and the root has to go down in order for the shoot to go up, and so that sense of our children need to transgress the boundaries, in some ways, that we have created, in order for them to individuate, to be able to grow. We don't want to create soil that does not allow them to transgress the boundaries of childhood. We want to allow some of that transgression to grow. I think that begins by inviting them to consider like, what do you want your own sexual story to look like?”  – Jay Stringer    “View sexual difficulties as a stage to be able to rewrite your story.”  – Jay Stringer   Jay's LinksWebsite Facebook Instagram Twitter    Books & Resources Mentioned in This EpisodeUnwanted: How Sexual Brokeness Reveals Our Way to Healing - Jay Stringer Addressing Broken Sexual Behavior with Jay Stringer - For the Love Podcast Episode  The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You've Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended - Sheila Gregoire  Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life - Emily Nagoski  Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less - Greg McKeown Dr. Dan Allender  Connect with Jen!Jen's website Jen's InstagramJen's Twitter Jen's FacebookJen's YouTube