Podcasts about Betrayal trauma

The affair is over. He's home. You're doing the work, and on paper things are moving in the right direction. So why does your chest still go tight when his name lights up your phone? Why does your mind race to the worst place when he's fifteen minutes late? If your head has moved on from the betrayal but your body hasn't, you're not broken, and you're not going backwards. That's betrayal trauma, and trauma is treatable. In this episode of Relationships Uncomplicated, Idit Sharoni, LMFT, is joined by Alana Tokayer, LMFT, one of the expert therapists on her team, who is trained in EMDR and works closely with hurt partners after infidelity. Together they explain why the discovery of an affair lives in your nervous system and not just in your thoughts, what EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) actually does and what it doesn't, and what a session really looks like, including why you're never asked to retell the affair over and over. You'll hear how the belief so many hurt partners carry, "I'm not enough," can shift over the course of the work, why one client joked that it felt like sorcery, why intrusive thoughts often quiet down once a memory loses its charge, how to tell whether it's too early to start, and what can happen when this work is done inside a couples session with both partners in the room. The goal was never to make you forget what happened. It's to help you move from reliving it to remembering it. Mentioned in this episode: Episode 85, Do You Need Every Detail for Infidelity Recovery? https://iditsharoni.com/85-do-you-need-every-detail-for-infidelity-recovery/ At Relationship Experts, the couples work and the individual betrayal trauma work happen under one roof, with one team that knows your story. If this episode spoke to you, apply to work with us, and we'll figure out together what you and your relationship actually need: https://iditsharoni.com/45 You don't have to forget the story. You just don't have to keep living inside the worst chapter of it.

Therapist Jeremy Levitt (MS, LMFT, Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapist, Functional Nutrition Therapist, Psychedelic Assisted Therapist, Natural Medicine Facilitator) joins us to unpack how legal, clinically-supervised psilocybin therapy is transforming recovery from betrayal trauma and compulsive sexual behavior — from the neuroscience behind it to remission rates for PTSD and addiction that are hard to ignore. It's not a magic pill, but it might be the most powerful tool you haven't considered yet. Tune in to find out why.Are you interested in having a psilocybin-supported healing intensive? Learn more and join our interest list.We'd love to hear from you!Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!INTENSIVES COMING UP!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Nov 8-11 in Spanish Fork, UTWomen's retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what's heavy and reconnect with your joy. 

(Episode 352)  A betrayed partner wrote to us because, although her addict partner has recently become more proactive in recovery, she worries that her mother and friends now see her as weak, naive, or stupid for staying. Her mother previously left an addicted husband and later built a stable relationship, while her friends have traditionally held a strong “if he treats you badly, leave” position. That history creates enormous pressure, but another person's path doesn't have to become hers. Staying with an addict is not automatically a sign of weakness, just as leaving is not automatically proof of strength. What matters is whether the decision is informed, authentic, and grounded in reality rather than fear, denial, pressure, or desperation.At the same time, staying cannot mean minimizing what is actually happening. Her partner's willingness to eventually disclose slips matters, but waiting weeks or a month to tell the truth still reveals significant deficits in transparency and accountability. Real recovery is about much more than eventually confessing. It involves increasingly proactive honesty, understanding what led to slips or relapse, taking responsibility, engaging a recovery support system, developing empathy, and creating a concrete plan for change. A betrayed partner should not merely ask whether her partner is “trying”; she can look for a measurable upward trajectory in sobriety, honesty, emotional maturity, accountability, and relational safety over time.Perhaps most importantly, she does not have to decide today whether she will stay forever. Healthy commitment still includes agency and boundaries. She can choose the relationship today while retaining the right to reevaluate tomorrow based on her capacities, her values, her boundaries, and what her partner is actually doing. Friends and family may be motivated by genuine love and fear for her, and their perspective can be valuable, but they do not get to make the decision for her. Strength may sometimes mean leaving, and at other times it may mean staying with eyes wide open. The central question is not simply, “Am I staying?” but, “Can I remain in this relationship without abandoning myself, and is this relationship genuinely becoming healthier over time?”For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  My Mother & Friends Think I'm Naive & Stupid for Staying with an Addict—Am I?!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Welcome to episode #284!

(Episode 351)  A betrayed partner wrote to us about her husband's roughly 33-year history of hidden lust addiction and a specific sexual fixation involving women's bodies that remained secret throughout their 15-year relationship. Since D-Day about five months ago, he has thrown himself into recovery—attending meetings, working with a sponsor and therapist, completing disclosure, doing daily check-ins, eliminating old acting-out outlets, and practicing “custody of the eyes.” Yet what troubles his wife is his insistence that he now experiences zero slips, cravings, attractions, fantasies, or temptations and actually feels angry or repulsed when other women enter his field of vision. We cannot know exactly what is happening inside him, but we believe his reaction could be sincere. Early in recovery, addicts often become overwhelmed by the damage they have caused and recoil intensely from everything they associate with their addiction.The concern is that genuine repulsion is not necessarily the same thing as mature recovery. After decades of repetitive sexual conditioning, five months represents the beginning of change, not the completion of it. Strict avoidance may be useful in early sobriety, but if recovery becomes nothing more than “Don't look, don't feel, don't notice, don't be sexual,” it can turn into white-knuckling, fear, obsessive avoidance, or shame. Other women are not the problem, and sexuality itself is not the enemy. The deeper work is learning to live in a world with attractive people and human bodies while seeing others as whole human beings rather than objects, learning to notice attraction without feeding it, and developing the ability to engage sexuality with honesty, boundaries, mutuality, connection, and integrity.For this betrayed partner, the question does not have to be reduced to “Do I believe him or not?” His current feelings may be completely genuine while still reflecting early recovery immaturity, fear, or limited self-awareness. What will matter most is what happens over time. Does he become increasingly capable of acknowledging temptation without shame? Can he distinguish noticing from scanning and attraction from objectification? Can he be transparent even when the truth feels risky, rather than insisting everything is always “zero”? Healthy recovery ultimately moves beyond fear and repulsion toward freedom—the ability to experience whatever arises internally without being controlled by it, hiding it, or turning it into betrayal. His recovery will be demonstrated less by claiming he never feels anything and more by consistently showing that whatever he does feel can be met with honesty, self-awareness, and integrity.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   He Spent Decades Lusting—Now He Says Other Women Repulse Him—Should I Believe Him?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck & Kristin discuss anger after sexual betrayal -- what it actually is, why it shows up the way it does, and what both partners can do with it.   In this episode we cover: A clear definition of betrayal trauma anger and why it is immediate and ongoing, not a one-time reaction Survey findings on self-blame, anger at God, and the physical toll unprocessed anger takes on the body How Ephesians 4:26 -- 'be angry and do not sin' -- reframes anger as something to process, not eliminate Concrete ways a betrayer can sit with a partner's anger instead of reacting to it The difference between reactive abuse and abuse, and why that distinction matters Why suppressing anger is just as harmful as exploding with it   Crystal is a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, sex therapy, and trauma recovery, and the author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You're Not Crazy, You're Angry, and You Should Be.   Learn more about our programs: Living-truthLiving Truth, Women in the Battle, Men in the Battle | sex addiction   The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal.   #LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth  

Host Ron Rapaport interviews certified betrayal trauma practitioner Mr. J about the nature of betrayal trauma, how it differs from other trauma, and practical steps for individuals and couples to begin healing. The episode covers immediate actions after discovering betrayal (medical checks, needs assessments, grounding), managing shame and triggers, rebuilding trust, common reconciliation mistakes, realistic timelines, and resources from Mr. J for ongoing support. Sponsors:   Ayis Caperonis,  author of "Staring Down Depression"                   Kerisma Vere, author of "The Light Switch Myth"                   Blue Sky CBD-click link for 20% off first order                   https://www.bluesky-cbd.com/pages/_go_?ref=3251:615856&discount=ron                    Links:         https://mrjayrelationshipcoach.com                   https://itsawrapwithrap.com  

Why You Can't 'Think' Your Way Out of Infidelity and Betrayal TraumaThe script explains that after infidelity, common coping tools like grounding and traditional talk therapy may stop working because betrayal creates trauma, which is different than a crisis situation. Rehashing the story to gain insight can reactivate D‑Day emotions, intensify triggers, and mimic PTSD-like symptoms such as flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and rumination, leaving people feeling hopeless and stuck. Stay to the end to learn how to get unstuck and let me know if the comments if it makes sense.

(Episode 350)  For a betrayed partner, few things are more painful than hearing, “I choose you,” while continuing to discover that her partner's eyes, attention, sexuality, and actions are still being directed toward other women. In this episode, we address the experience of a partner who believed her addict partner was genuinely recovering from pornography and sex addiction. They studied recovery together, discussed scanning and objectification, practiced check-ins, and talked repeatedly about what it meant for him to choose her. As her trust slowly returned, however, she discovered another relapse and learned that some of the behaviors she thought were changing—including lingering looks and objectification—had continued. Because she discovered these realities rather than receiving proactive disclosure, the second collapse of trust was especially devastating and left her wondering whether his promises to choose her meant anything at all.We emphasize that knowledge and recovery tools do not automatically create transformation. Pornography, fantasy, scanning, novelty-seeking, and objectification can be deeply entrenched patterns that have often been reinforced for many years. Genuine recovery therefore requires humility about the power of those patterns, consistent use of support and recovery tools, honest self-assessment, and a willingness to change circumstances when necessary. Recovery also does not mean never again experiencing attraction, sexuality, or even an unwanted lustful thought. Rather, we look for “progressive victory”—an increasing ability to recognize unhealthy sexual energy, interrupt it, refuse to feed fantasy or objectification, and bring struggles into honest connection rather than secrecy. Most importantly, recovery must move beyond words. “I choose you” should eventually become visible through proactive transparency, empathy for the damage caused, accountability, behavioral change, and active amends.For the betrayed partner, healing also involves reclaiming power that addiction and betrayal may have taken from her. His objectification is not evidence that she is inadequate, unattractive, or somehow “not enough.” His recovery is his responsibility, while her responsibility is to heal her own identity, establish meaningful boundaries, and determine what she is and is not willing to participate in. Boundaries cannot guarantee that he will never betray her again, because no intimate relationship can provide absolute guarantees, but they can give her a framework for responding to reality rather than trying to control him. He gets to decide whether he will recover, become transparent, and live with integrity; she gets to decide what his actual outcomes mean for her continued participation in the relationship. In the end, choosing a partner is not proven by repeatedly saying the right words—it is demonstrated through increasingly consistent honesty, sexual integrity, accountability, and actions that finally match those words.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   "I Choose You" Means Nothing If His Eyes and Actions Keep Choosing Others!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreThe Attachment That's Really Avoidance — Why Closeness Can Feel Like a ThreatWhy Some People Feel Closest When They're Actually Furthest Away DESCRIPTION:What looks like attachment — staying, showing up, saying the right things — can actually be a form of detachment. Many people in relationships with addiction stay closely tied to the routine and the role, while emotionally checking out from the relationship itself.In this video, Gary unpacks the hidden psychology behind this pattern: why intense involvement in a relationship doesn't always mean genuine emotional connection, and how addiction, trauma, and self-protection can produce something that looks like closeness but functions as distance.Gary trained under Thaddeus Birchard, founder of ATSAC (The Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity) — the body that shaped how sex and porn addiction is treated clinically in the UK. He works with both addicts and their partners through separate, specialist pathways, trains and supervises other therapists in this field, and hosts The Sex Addiction Podcast (66K+ downloads, 189 episodes).TAGS:Core/broad:attachment vs detachment, relationship psychology, emotional detachment, addiction and relationships, betrayal traumaSpecific/technical:attachment styles, avoidant attachment, emotional unavailability, detachment in relationships, addiction and emotional distanceIntent-based:why do I feel disconnected in my relationship, signs of emotional detachment, why does closeness feel threatening, attachment vs avoidanceCredibility/framework tie-in:trained by Thaddeus Birchard, ATSAC therapist, sex addiction specialist UK, accredited sex addiction therapistLong-tail:why attachment can look like detachment, hidden psychology of emotional distance, addiction and attachment issuesSupport the show

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when cheating is no longer limited to secret messages and accidental encounters, but supported by an entire dating platform?And what does it say about modern relationships when secrecy is marketed as freedom?In this solo episode of The Dimple Bindra Show, I examine the growing attention around Gleeden, an extramarital dating platform created for married people seeking discreet encounters.After the platform reported surpassing four million users in India, an uncomfortable question emerged: Are apps like this simply responding to demand, or are they making deception easier to organize and normalize?This conversation goes beyond one dating app. It examines how affairs, hidden relationships, and situationships can slowly disconnect people from their values, their voices, and the person they believe themselves to be.We talk about:• The difference between privacy and secrecy• Why legal does not always mean ethical• Consensual non-monogamy versus a hidden second life• How deception removes a partner's ability to make an informed choice• Why situationships can train people to accept emotional crumbs• The fear of asking, “What are we?”• How cheating can become self-betrayal before it becomes partner betrayal• Why loneliness and unmet needs may explain an affair but cannot excuse deception• The emotional, physical, and family consequences of infidelity• Why an affair cannot repair a relationship that depends on a lieAn open relationship involves honesty, informed consent, and clear boundaries. Betrayal begins when one person believes they are in a committed relationship while the other secretly lives by different rules.This episode is for anyone who has discovered a partner's hidden life, feels trapped in an undefined situationship, or is considering an affair instead of facing a difficult conversation.Your unmet needs deserve to be addressed. They may require an honest conversation, clearer boundaries, couples coaching, therapy, separation, or divorce. They do not give anyone permission to deceive another person.Pain can explain a choice. It does not remove responsibility for that choice.If you have recently been cheated on, are questioning your relationship, or need support after betrayal, you do not have to face it alone. Book a Betrayal Session with me through the link in the show notes.If this episode supports you, please leave a review and share it with a friend or sister who may need to hear it.Always remember, you are awakening.✨ Not sure why you keep choosing pain over peace?Take the free WHY YOU GOT BETRAYED QUIZ and uncover the pattern you didn't even know was holding you back.If you can't eat, can't sleep, and keep replaying the betrayal in your head, this book was written for this exact moment. Pre-order Betrayal ER™ on Amazon.

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreShame and self-criticism are often the real barrier to recovery — not the addiction itself, but the belief underneath it that you're not worth the work of healing.In today's video, trained sex and porn addiction specialist [Gary] walks through a practical 30-day self-compassion exercise designed to rebuild the distorted self-perception that years of shame and self-chastisement can create. Gary trained under Thaddeus Birchard, founder of ATSAC (The Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity) — often described as the UK's foundational figure in the field. He works with both addicts and their partners through separate, specialist pathways, and hosts The Sex Addiction Podcast (66K+ downloads, 187 episodes). If shame is keeping you stuck, this exercise is where to start.TAGS:Core/broad: sex addiction, porn addiction, sex addiction expert, sex addiction recovery, betrayal traumaSpecific/technical: why sex addiction is destructive, sex addiction and the brain, dopamine addiction, neurochemical addiction, sex addiction trauma, compulsive sexual behaviourIntent-based: signs of sex addiction, how sex addiction affects relationships, is sex addiction real, sex addiction help, effects of porn addiction on relationshipsCredibility/framework tie-in: ATSAC therapist, trained by Thaddeus Birchard, sex addiction specialist UK, accredited sex addiction therapistSupport the show

If you're rebuilding trust after infidelity, you've probably noticed something strange: small disagreements can escalate way faster and way bigger than the topic seems to deserve. A dish in the sink. A short text back. Being fifteen minutes late.In this episode, we talk about why that happens — and it's not because either of you is being dramatic. After betrayal, your nervous system starts running everyday moments through a threat filter, not just an annoyance filter. That means ordinary conflict can carry real weight underneath it: questions about safety, about control, and about repair work that hasn't fully landed yet.Enjoyed This Episode?If this conversation resonated with you, here are three ways you can support the show:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review

(Episode 349) Relapse in pornography or sex addiction absolutely matters, but it is often not the most fundamental threat to a relationship. The deeper crisis is what happens when relapse is followed by secrecy, lying, minimizing, withholding, or manipulation of the betrayed partner's reality. Addiction thrives in secrecy and avoidance, which is why genuine recovery must involve much more than simply stopping pornography, masturbation, or other acting-out behaviors. Sobriety without honesty can become little more than compliance or performance. Real recovery requires increasing alignment between a person's internal life, stated values, words, and actions—in other words, integrity.There is an enormous difference between a relapse that an addict voluntarily discloses and one that a betrayed partner is forced to uncover. In both cases the sexual behavior may be the same, but in the first, the addict is practicing recovery by choosing truth over secrecy, taking responsibility, using his support system, and allowing his partner access to reality. In the second, the old addictive system remains active: hide, minimize, avoid consequences, and wait to see whether she discovers the truth. When this happens repeatedly, the betrayed partner is forced into the exhausting role of detective and becomes increasingly hypervigilant because experience has taught her that if she does not investigate, she may not know what is actually happening.For trust to rebuild, the addict must increasingly become the person who proactively brings reality into the relationship rather than waiting to be questioned or caught. Internal motivation becomes visible when he tells the truth even when it is uncomfortable, seeks recovery because it reflects the man he wants to become, and stops trying to control his partner's choices by controlling the information she receives. Betrayed partners do not have to offer unlimited chances, particularly when honesty has been clearly communicated as a critical boundary. Ultimately, meaningful recovery is not simply learning how to stop acting out; it is learning how to live known—moving from secrecy to transparency, image management to accountability, compartmentalization to integrity, and manipulation of reality to genuine connection.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   His Relapses Hurt, but Ongoing Lies and Manipulation of Reality are the Real Crisis!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreLet's look at Episode 189 recording from another perspective.Sobriety rarely happens in a straight line — and if you've relapsed and feel like you're back at square one, you're not failing at recovery, you're likely missing a piece of it.In this video, Gary explains why "white-knuckling" and willpower alone tend to collapse under pressure, and why lasting sobriety depends on treating the trauma underneath the addiction — not just managing the behaviour. If you've fallen down, this is how you get back in the fight.Shame and self-criticism are often the real barrier to recovery — not the addiction itself, but the belief underneath it that you're not worth the work of healing. Trained sex and porn addiction specialist [Gary] walks through a practical 30-day self-compassion exercise designed to rebuild the distorted self-perception that years of shame and self-chastisement can create. Gary trained under Thaddeus Birchard, founder of ATSAC (The Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity) — often described as the UK's foundational figure in the field. ATSAC is the body that shaped how sex and porn addiction is treated clinically in the UK.Gary works with both addicts and their partners through separate, specialist pathways, and hosts The Sex Addiction Podcast (67K+ downloads, 189 episodes). If shame is keeping you stuck, this exercise is where to start.TAGS:Core/broad:Sex addiction, porn addiction, Love Addiction, sex addiction expert, sex addiction recovery, betrayal traumaSpecific/technical:Why sex addiction is destructive, sex addiction and the brain, dopamine addiction, neurochemical addiction, sex addiction trauma, compulsive sexual behaviourIntent-based:Signs of sex addiction, how sex addiction affects relationships, is sex addiction real, sex addiction help, effects of porn addiction on relationshipsCredibility/framework tie-in:ATSAC Therapist, trained by Thaddeus Birchard, sex addiction specialist UK, accredited sex addiction therapist Long-tail:Why sobriety feels impossible, relapse doesn't mean failure, how to recover from a relapse in sex addictionSupport the show

"Separation" doesn't have to mean divorce. In this episode, I'm joined by Shawna Meek of Living Stones Coaching to talk about the therapeutic separation — a structured, intentional time apart designed to create safety and clarity for couples navigating betrayal.Whether you're considering time apart or just trying to understand your options, this conversation offers a grounded starting point. Connect with Shawna Meek: www.livingstonescoaching.com or shawna@livingstonescoaching.comDetermined for More bookSix Episode Podcast SeriesGet the resources mentioned in today's episode: ⁠The Separation Plan Guide⁠⁠Relational Safety Plan for Couples⁠Shawna is a Professional Certified Coach, author, and coaching consultation supervisor. Her specialized focus is supporting woman experiencing betrayal trauma from problematic sexual behavior and are in a neurodiverse marriage, primarily with autism and Asperger profiles. She currently reaches those around the world through her podcast appearances, individual coaching, couples workshops, and supervising other professionals. She is also a brainspotting practitioner. She is the author of the book, Determined for More, based on her own 25 year marriage journey, available on Amazon.Enjoyed This Episode?If this conversation resonated with you, here are three ways you can support the show:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review

This week Amie sits down with Susan Child of Sole Connections Academy to explore foot zoning, holistic wellness, body awareness, self-trust, boundaries, and healing after betrayal.Susan explains her approach to foot zoning and shares what she has observed while working with women navigating experiences including sexual abuse and divorce. The conversation then expands into a deeper exploration of what it means to reconnect with your body after difficult or traumatic experiences.We talk about:Betrayal trauma and disconnection from the bodyFoot zoning and holistic wellnessSelf-trust and learning to listen to your body againNutrition and other wellness practicesConnect with Susan: Sole Connections Academy, Instagram and Facebook: @soleconnectionsacademy We'd love to hear from you!Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!INTENSIVES COMING UP!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Learn more about our Bali retreat for women happening in April 2027!

In this episode, Marquelle Brown gently unpacks the emotional landscape of betrayal trauma through the metaphor of Frozen, exploring Elsa's “conceal, don't feel” mindset, Anna's persistent reaching out, and the deep need for safety, support, and emotional regulation. She reflects on how isolation, shame, and fear keep women stuck, and how healing requires connection, guidance, and learning to navigate overwhelming feelings. Through the imagery of greenhouses, mountains, and true love's courage, she encourages women to remember who they are, seek safe support, rebuild resilience, and move toward hope, healing, and Christ‑anchored strength.

Send us Fan MailWhat if the person who betrayed you was not the beginning of the pattern, but the person who finally made it impossible for you to ignore?What if, long before someone lied or cheated, you had already learned to silence your intuition, sacrifice your needs, and stay loyal to people who were not loyal to you?In this episode of The Dimple Bindra Show, I sit down with award-winning spiritual psychology coach, bestselling author, and lineage healer Lainne Love for an honest conversation about betrayal trauma, self-betrayal, inherited relationship patterns, and breaking generational cycles.Lainne shares how her experiences with abuse, trauma, and a violent mugging forced her to examine the subconscious patterns she had carried for years. She explains why healing rarely happens through one dramatic breakthrough. More often, it develops through small, intentional choices that slowly rebuild safety, confidence, and self-trust.Together, we talk about:• Why betrayal can expose patterns that began much earlier• How ignoring your intuition can weaken your self-trust• The inherited belief that a good woman must stay, forgive, and hold everyone together• How childhood conditioning shapes what you tolerate in adult relationships• Why recognizing a pattern is different from changing it• How betrayal affects your sense of safety and nervous system• Why leaving can feel impossible when you are emotionally depleted• The importance of asking for practical, tangible support• How to break painful cycles and create a healthier legacyThis episode is for any woman who has ever asked herself:“Why do I keep repeating the same painful relationship patterns?”Or:“How can I trust myself again after betrayal?”If you are healing after infidelity, struggling with self-abandonment, or afraid of repeating the relationship patterns you witnessed growing up, this conversation will help you understand what may be keeping the cycle alive.Taking responsibility for your healing does not mean taking responsibility for another person's harmful choices. It means learning to hear your own voice again, honor what you know, and choose differently one step at a time.If you have recently been cheated on or are struggling after betrayal, you do not have to face it alone. Book a Betrayal Session with me through the link in the show notes.Connect with Lainne Love:Instagram: @lainneloveWebsite: http://www.lainne.com/✨ Not sure why you keep choosing pain over peace? Take the free WHY YOU GOT BETRAYED QUIZ and uncover the pattern you didn't even know was holding you back.If you can't eat, can't sleep, and keep replaying the betrayal in your head, this book was written for this exact moment. Pre-order Betrayal ER™ on Amazon.

(Episode 348)  A betrayed partner who has a history of neglect, abuse, people-pleasing, or self-abandonment may find it especially difficult to identify and defend her own wants, needs, and boundaries after betrayal. She may feel compelled to logically justify every boundary, educate her addict partner about betrayal trauma, remind him to work recovery, and provide affection even when she does not genuinely feel safe or connected. But recovery requires a healthier division of responsibility. While the betrayed partner should communicate her unique experience and tell her partner what creates or destroys safety for her, she should not have to become his teacher, therapist, recovery coach, or primary source of motivation.For the addict, lasting recovery must progressively shift from being partner-driven to internally motivated. Fear of divorce, consequences, or a partner's anger may initially bring someone into recovery, but those external pressures are rarely enough to sustain long-term change. The recovering addict needs to develop his own reasons for becoming honest, emotionally mature, empathetic, and sexually healthy. Part of that responsibility includes proactively educating himself about betrayal trauma, integrity abuse, deception, relational safety, and the impact his behaviors have had on his partner. A betrayed partner can certainly share resources or explain what resonates with her, but inviting him to learn is very different from carrying responsibility for whether he actually learns and changes.This same principle applies to boundaries, affection, and sexuality. A betrayed partner does not need an airtight argument before she is allowed to say that something feels unsafe, nor is she obligated to provide physical affection simply because her partner wants it. If affection feels like self-betrayal, slowing down may actually benefit both partners by allowing the betrayed partner to reconnect with her authentic self and giving the addict an opportunity to examine whether his desire for affection is rooted in healthy connection or unhealthy codependency, reassurance-seeking, entitlement, or emotional regulation. Ultimately, healing becomes possible when each person takes ownership of what belongs to them: the betrayed partner discovers and expresses her authentic voice, boundaries, wants, and needs, while the addict takes responsibility for his recovery, education, empathy, and growth.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   Is it My Job to Educate My Addict Partner about My Betrayal Trauma & My Boundaries?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

In Episode 347, a betrayed partner who recently ended a three-year relationship asks whether her former partner can genuinely recover after more than two decades of compulsive pornography use, high-risk sexual behaviors, drug-fueled acting out, and extensive secrecy and deception. Her central concern is not merely whether he can stop acting out, but whether someone who has spent years lying, denying, withholding, and creating an alternate sexual reality can ever become trustworthy. We explain that sexual betrayal often creates a uniquely profound injury because it strikes at the intimate agreements upon which a romantic relationship is built. The sexual behaviors are devastating, but the lying, gaslighting, and “secret sexual basement” can fracture a partner's entire sense of reality, leaving her questioning not only him, but her own judgment, worth, memories, and ability to trust herself.   We believe genuine recovery is absolutely possible, even after decades of addiction, but recovery cannot be reduced to simply stopping pornography or other sexual behaviors. Sobriety is the starting point, not the finish line. True recovery requires the addict to address the larger patterns surrounding addiction—secrecy, emotional immaturity, shame, reactivity, avoidance, entitlement, and disconnection—and replace them with honesty, vulnerability, empathy, accountability, and proactive transparency. In cases involving extensive deception and major unknowns, rebuilding may require a professionally facilitated disclosure process, appropriate verification, daily transparency, consistent recovery work, and the addict taking the lead rather than forcing his partner to drag him through the process. Trust should therefore return gradually and in proportion to sustained evidence, not promises, apologies, or short periods of sobriety.   Finally, the fact that recovery and restored trust are possible does not mean every relationship should or will survive. Sometimes the accumulated damage is simply too great, and the betrayed partner must assess not only his capacity to change, but her own capacity, boundaries, needs, and willingness to participate in rebuilding something she did not destroy. She also does not need to remain in an unhealthy relationship because she fears he might someday recover and become a better partner for someone else. Love and desire alone are not enough; compatibility, capacity, emotional maturity, and consistent action all matter. The goal is not to recreate the pre-betrayal relationship, because that relationship can never simply be restored. The real question is whether both people can build something new—one grounded in truth, healthy boundaries, sustained recovery, safety, and authentic connectionFor a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   Can my Partner with 2 Decades of Porn Use & Years of Secrecy & Lying Genuinely Recover?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

In this episode, Marnie explores the importance of carefully choosing who you trust with your healing. When you have already experienced betrayal, deception, and a loss of trust, finding the right person to support you through recovery can feel scary and confusing. Marnie discusses the difference between clinical expertise, personal experience, and anecdotal advice, and why it is important to understand where the guidance you receive is coming from.Marnie also addresses healing timelines and why there is no universal timeline for recovery. She explores how comparing your healing to someone else's can create shame and make you feel like you are falling behind when, in reality, healing is a deeply personal and non-linear experience.Throughout the episode, Marnie offers practical questions to help you vet therapists, coaches, and other professionals, including specific questions about their training, experience, ongoing education, supervision, and approach to care. She also emphasizes the importance of humility, collaboration, and knowing the difference between evidence, clinical experience, and opinion.Most importantly, Marnie reminds listeners that the helping relationship should never become another betrayal. You deserve to know who you are trusting with your healing, and you deserve support that honors the complexity of what you have been through.Want to connect with us? Click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation.

In Episode 346, a betrayed partner wonders whether her husband can genuinely recover from pornography addiction when he admits that lying, hiding, gaslighting, and hurting her are wrong but still insists that pornography itself is not “bad.” While we believe there are very substantial reasons to view pornography as harmful, we also believe that turning recovery into a debate about morality can actually become a distraction. An addict can endlessly argue research, compare himself to others, minimize consequences, or find someone willing to validate his position. The more important distinction is between compliance and conversion. Compliance says, “I will stop because my wife, therapist, church, or circumstances require me to.” Conversion says, “I am beginning to understand that this behavior is fundamentally incompatible with the person I want to become.” External motivation may get someone through the recovery door, but lasting change requires the motivation to eventually become internal.The deeper examination involves asking what pornography has actually trained within the individual. Repeated pornography use can condition the mind toward objectification, scanning, comparing, novelty, entitlement, immediate gratification, fantasy, and consumption. Healthy relational sexuality, by contrast, requires presence, patience, mutuality, vulnerability, emotional connection, and the ability to tolerate another person's needs and boundaries. We discovered in our own recovery that pornography was often a counterfeit substitute for the real connection we desperately wanted but did not know how to create. And these patterns do not necessarily remain isolated to sexuality. A consumer mindset can spill into marriage, family, friendships, business, and everyday relationships, where people subtly become means to our own emotional or relational ends. The critical question therefore becomes: Does this behavior increase my capacity for authentic connection, or does it train me further into escape and disconnection?Finally, an addict who strongly insists that pornography is not wrong may need to ask whether that is truly his deepest conviction—or whether the argument is protecting something he still does not want to surrender. Pornography may have functioned for years as comfort, stimulation, emotional anesthesia, escape, control, or self-soothing, and giving it up can feel frightening. Underneath the intellectual debate may be a much more vulnerable truth: I still want this, or I don't know how to cope without it. That is where meaningful recovery can begin. The betrayed partner cannot argue or research her husband into transformation; she can establish boundaries, protect her own healing, and watch whether his recovery increasingly becomes authentic and internally motivated. Ultimately, true recovery occurs when the addict moves beyond “I won't use porn because it hurts my partner” toward “I don't want to live this way because it moves me away from honesty, connection, integrity, self-mastery, and the man I genuinely want to become.”For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   If He Doesn't Think Porn Is Bad, Can He Still Truly Recover?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Ever feel like you're doing all the right things but still stuck in the same patterns? In this trauma-informed masterclass, former CPA turned coach Lindsay Poelman walks you through the five hidden layers that quietly run your life beneath the surface: conditioning, nervous system, story, wounding, and inheritance. If mindset work, journaling, or even therapy have left you feeling like something is still missing, this episode is the missing piece.You'll learn how your subconscious, not your willpower or discipline, is actually steering the ship, and why lasting change starts with becoming fluent in the language of your own body. Lindsay breaks down what each layer sounds like, what it looks like day to day, and the research-backed long-term effects of ignoring your body's cues, from burnout and anxiety to chronic stress, rumination, and shame. Then she shows you the way back: naming your layers, meeting them with a curious, compassionate "gardener" approach, and doing the nervous-system-based, neuroscience-backed, trauma-informed work that actually holds.This is nervous system regulation, somatic awareness, subconscious reprogramming, and trauma education brought together in one place, for every human, not just coaches.Podcast listeners! subscribe here for your exclusive intro price on The Fluent Human Course: https://www.lindsaypoelmancoaching.com/podcastsubscriberTake the free Fluent Human Quiz to discover your most dominant layer, then listen all the way to the end for an exclusive podcast-listener intro price on The Fluent Human Course and Certification. Quiz Link: https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/smIB1wMqOnce you subscribe, watch for your special code on the thank-you page and in your welcome email, and be sure to whitelist lindsay@lindsaypoelmancoaching.com so nothing lands in spam.Support the showLindsay's current program offerings:Feeling the pull towards a new career? Ready to layer these tools into your already existing one? Become a Certified Trauma-Informed Coach through The Fluent Human Method™... the certification that teaches you to hold the whole human: nervous system, neuroscience, body, intuition, and soul. Join now to be a part of our upcoming LIVE cohort! Not here to get certified, here to learn about yourself? The Fluent Human Course™ walks you through all 8 pillars at your own pace, with live debrief calls every fall and spring. Get the course.New to all of this? Start free. 10 Things to Know About Trauma is ten short videos that will change the way you see yourself... and everyone around you. Send it to me.Want a certification above + PRIVATE MENTORSHIP from yours truly? I have limited spaced available. Apply here.Check out her website here: Website.Find me on Instagram : @lindsaypoelmancoaching---Meet Lindsay:...

Betrayal Trauma Is Not Codependency Episode Summary For years, partners who have experienced sexual betrayal have sometimes been labeled as codependent or “co-addicted.” But is that an accurate way to understand what happens after betrayal? In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the important difference between betrayal trauma and codependency. They discuss research showing that the trauma symptoms experienced by betrayed partners are distinct from codependency and explain why labeling a betrayed partner as codependent can unintentionally shift responsibility away from the person who engaged in deception or betrayal. At the same time, codependent patterns can exist in any relationship. Kevin and MaryAnn explore what happens when we become afraid to speak honestly, avoid conflict, enable unhealthy behaviors, lose our sense of identity, or depend on another person to determine our worth. The conversation also explores the importance of differentiation—learning to remain connected to others without losing yourself. Healing means recognizing what belongs to you, taking responsibility for your own growth, setting healthy boundaries, developing your voice, and refusing to take responsibility for another person's choices. Ultimately, healthy relationships are not built by losing ourselves in another person. They are strengthened when two people develop a clear sense of who they are while learning how to love, support, and connect with each other. Resources Facing Codependence — Pia Mellody A foundational resource for understanding codependency, its origins, and developing a healthier sense of self. Codependent No More — Melody Beattie A classic resource for recognizing codependent patterns, developing boundaries, and learning healthier forms of self-care. The Other Side of Infidelity — Dr. Kevin Skinner | TEDxRiverton A presentation exploring the often-overlooked experience of betrayed partners and the traumatic impact of sexual betrayal. Learn More About Healing as a Couple If sexual betrayal has affected your relationship and you are trying to understand how to move forward together, learn more about the Intimacy Repair Method™. The Intimacy Repair Method provides couples with a structured approach for rebuilding emotional safety, restoring trust, understanding each partner's experience, and creating greater connection after betrayal. Visit IntimacyRepairMethod.com to learn more about resources, courses, and opportunities for couples.

In episode 345, a couple is facing the enormous aftermath of pornography addiction, sexual betrayal, deception, failed disclosure, and trickle truth. The husband reports that he is now 18 months sober, has become rigorously honest and transparent, participates in therapy and 12-step recovery, and is working to sit with his wife's pain without defensiveness. Yet his wife's trauma remains intense. She has maintained a boundary of no physical contact for approximately 18 months, frequently expresses disgust and anger toward him, and periodically insists that she wants a divorce while demanding that he be the one to file. The critical reality is that his recovery does not erase the impact of his past choices. Sobriety, honesty, and improved behavior matter tremendously, but they cannot dictate the pace of her healing or guarantee that she will ultimately want reconciliation.At the same time, understanding the source of a betrayed partner's anger does not mean that every form of communication should continue indefinitely. If the marriage is going to have a genuine chance, patterns of contempt, humiliation, name-calling, aggression, defensiveness, and retaliation must progressively give way to healthier communication and individual accountability. The husband must continue owning the tremendous harm he caused while recognizing that his job is to create the best possible environment for his wife's healing—not to control or perform that healing for her. Likewise, although she did not cause the betrayal or deserve its consequences, she is ultimately the only person who can pursue her own healing, recover her voice and agency, and determine what she authentically wants. Both partners need to move away from “I did this because you did that” and toward taking responsibility for how each chooses to show up now.The deeper question is therefore not simply whether he should file for divorce because she tells him to. He can authentically say that he does not want a divorce, respects her right to choose one, and still wants to give the marriage an opportunity to heal. But neither partner should remain indefinitely trapped in a painful holding pattern. With professional support, they need to identify what reconciliation would actually require, what each person's deepest wants and needs are, whether those needs are compatible, and whether both genuinely want to undertake the work necessary to build a fundamentally different relationship. If both choose reconciliation, the long-term goal must be a return to true partnership rather than a permanent dynamic of offender and victim, guilty spouse and judge. If one or both ultimately determine that reconciliation is no longer possible, healing must continue individually so that both can move toward lives of greater honesty, wholeness, safety, and peace.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   My Addiction Shattered My Wife; She Wants a Divorce, but I Don't. Now What?!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Betrayal during a marriage can make you question your own mind, your memories, and your ability to trust what's right in front of you. If infidelity, lying, hiding, or a double life showed up in your marriage this episode can be your next step in your divorce healing journey.This is the second episode in the Ex-Files where I'm talking about why betrayal pain feels so different from “normal” breakup grief, and why your brain may keep reaching into the past to re-check old moments for clues. I share the validation so many women need to hear: being deceived is not evidence you're naive, broken, or unlovable. I explain concepts like betrayal trauma and betrayal blindness, and how intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, and sleepless nights can be a documented nervous system response, not a personal failure.From there, I get practical. I walk you through how to rebuild self-trust after betrayal by separating facts from the story your brain layers on top, grieving the reality you thought you were living in, and setting boundaries with rumination so you're not trapped in the 2 a.m. timeline replay. You'll also learn grounding tools you can use immediately and a simple approach to rebuilding confidence through small daily decisions that honor your intuition.If you're ready to stop outsourcing closure and start coming home to yourself, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick rating or review so more women can find support when betrayal turns their world upside down.To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started!If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.======================================DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================

Do you feel anxious, obsessive, forgetful, emotionally overwhelmed, or completely unlike yourself after discovering an affair, pornography use, or sexual betrayal? You are not crazy—your brain and nervous system are responding to a devastating loss of safety. In this episode of Marriage Redesigned with Lisa, she explains how betrayal trauma affects the brain through fight, flight, freeze, amygdala activation, hypervigilance, and fragmented memories. You'll learn why you keep replaying what happened, asking the same questions, searching for answers, and reacting intensely to seemingly small triggers. Drawing from Scripture, neuroscience, and current trauma research, Lisa shares three practical steps to help you regulate your nervous system, understand your reactions, and begin rebuilding safety through truth, consistency, and evidence. In this episode, you'll learn: Why betrayal can produce trauma-like symptoms How the brain's threat-detection system responds after discovery What fight, flight, freeze, and fawn may look like in betrayal recovery Why memories and thoughts can feel scattered or intrusive Why repeated questioning is often an attempt to rebuild reality Three steps to begin feeling safer and more grounded Download Lisa's free couple's resource, We Are Not Crazy, using the link in the show notes. You are not losing your mind. You are responding to a profound relational injury—and with biblical truth, appropriate support, and genuine safety, healing is possible. :: NEXT STEPS 7 PILLARS OF HEALING FROM BETRAYAL TRAUMA Join our Beauty Beyond Betrayal Sisterhood:   Healing from an affair: Heartbreak Recovery for Christian Women Email:   info@marriageredesigned.com WEBSITE:  www.marriageredesigned.com Got a question you want answered?  ASK HERE

Full-length discussion with betrayal trauma expert, Mr. Jay. Contact links below for both when you are ready to know more or schedule an appointment.NARC Troopers w P PESQUEDA contact email" narc2thrive@gmail.comwww.narctroopers.coMR JAY contacts: Mr. Jay is a family man and enjoys showing his children the beauty of life.  With all of his collective life experiences, Mr. Jay lives by the motto, “We are all beautifully broken, but even broken crayons can create amazing masterpieces.”https://linktr.ee/traumapractitionerjayhttps://mrjayrelationshipcoach.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@BetrayalTraumaPractitioner https://x.com/JayRelationshiphttps://www.instagram.com/mrjayrelationshipcoach/https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrjayrelationshipcoach/https://www.facebook.com/MrJayRelationshipCoachhttps://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdMfnhJW/                                     

Today we discuss betrayal trauma.Contact Mr Jay Mr. Jay is a family man and enjoys showing his children the beauty of life.  With all of his collective life experiences, Mr. Jay lives by the motto, “We are all beautifully broken, but even broken crayons can create amazing masterpieces.”https://linktr.ee/traumapractitionerjayhttps://mrjayrelationshipcoach.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@BetrayalTraumaPractitioner https://x.com/JayRelationshiphttps://www.instagram.com/mrjayrelationshipcoach/https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrjayrelationshipcoach/https://www.facebook.com/MrJayRelationshipCoachhttps://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdMfnhJW/Contact P Pesqueda NARC2thrive@gmail.comnarctroopers.com

Episode 344—Long-term betrayal and integrity abuse can severely disrupt a betrayed partner's ability to trust her own perceptions. After repeatedly sensing that something was wrong, being told she was mistaken, and later discovering that her intuition had been accurate, she may become intensely hypervigilant. When a new concern arises—such as inappropriate boundaries with a coworker—she may feel certain that more occurred while simultaneously questioning whether her nervous system is simply expecting the worst. This confusion does not mean she is irrational or broken; it means her natural intuition has become entangled with fear, traumatic memory, grief, and protective vigilance.Polygraphs, formal disclosures, accountability systems, and additional facts may be valuable parts of the recovery process, but they cannot become the sole source of safety. No test is perfectly accurate, and even a favorable result may not quiet a traumatized brain that has learned to distrust reassurance. The betrayed partner's Information-Gathering or Investigator Part may believe that enough details will finally guarantee she is never blindsided again, but complete certainty is impossible in any relationship. Healing does not mean returning to a pre-betrayal state or forgetting what happened. It means carrying the past differently, allowing its meaning to change as both partners develop new skills, boundaries, support systems, and patterns of behavior.The partner can begin rebuilding intuition by observing progressive evidence rather than depending on promises or perfection. She can watch whether her spouse is proactive in recovery, transparent, accountable, emotionally grounded, open to feedback, connected to support, and willing to maintain appropriate boundaries without being managed by her. At the same time, she can strengthen her own identity, self-worth, emotional grounding, support network, and confidence in her ability to respond if betrayal happens again. Her job is not to police his recovery but to become increasingly capable of seeing the relationship clearly and freely choosing whether to remain in it. Her intuition has not disappeared; with time, support, verification, and self-trust, it can be retuned into a wiser and more resilient source of discernment.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   After his Gaslighting, Betrayal and Integrity Abuse, My Intuition is Broken!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

The partner in this situation (Episode 343) recognizes that her husband's honesty about two recent relapses represents meaningful progress after years of pornography use, self-gratification, betrayal, and deception. However, the aftermath of those relapses remains deeply damaging. He spirals into shame, discouragement, and self-condemnation, creating a heavy emotional atmosphere in the home and leaving her feeling responsible for stabilizing him while she is also trying to process her own grief and betrayal trauma. His requests that she pursue him, cuddle him, initiate affection, or make him feel wanted become especially painful when he later rejects her or questions whether her efforts are genuine.Although unresolved grief, childhood wounds, and protective parts may help explain why addiction and shame become activated, they do not excuse the behavior or make his partner responsible for healing him. His shame functions like a bucket full of holes: no amount of external reassurance can fill what he has not learned to repair internally. When he seeks sexual or emotional validation from the person he has just harmed, he risks using her as a confessor, rescuer, and sexual absolver. Real accountability goes far beyond admitting the relapse. It requires him to tolerate difficult emotions, contact his sponsor, therapist, group, or recovery support, examine what led to the relapse, identify the deeper needs he was attempting to meet, and develop a specific plan for changing his recovery practices.For the betrayed partner, healthy boundaries include taking physical or emotional space, declining to become his primary emotional regulator, and participating in affection or sexual intimacy only when it feels authentic and safe for her. She can acknowledge his honesty without taking responsibility for his shame, and she can refuse to remain in a cycle where she is asked to pursue him only to be rejected or interrogated. He does not need to be perfect, but he does need to stand up, lead his recovery, respect her healing process, and protect her from additional harm. Genuine connection becomes possible when he owns his recovery and she remains loyal to her safety, truth, boundaries, and healing.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   He's Honest About Relapses, But His Spiraling Shame and Neediness Cycle is Exhausting!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

What if the exhaustion you're carrying isn't about your schedule at all — but a betrayal you haven't even named yet?In this episode of Break Free from the Burnout, Dr. Anastasia Chopelas sits down with attorney-turned-somatic-healing practitioner Lora Cheadle to unpack the real difference between burnout from overwork and burnout rooted in betrayal trauma. Lora explains how betrayal — the breaking of an expectation you relied on — shows up in the body, why high-achieving women are especially prone to internalizing it, and how her concept of "flaunt" (full expression instead of collapse) helps release what's been held in the gut, shoulders, and mind. The conversation moves through unconscious agreements, questioning inherited beliefs, and why grieving before healing matters more than rushing to fix it. Lora also shares her betrayal recovery guide, built around small, sequential steps rather than an all-at-once overhaul.Ready to reconnect with yourself before chasing the next goal? For Lora's Free Betrayal Recovery Guide, which includes a downloadable guide, somatic tools, and a healing visualization, go to www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and visit https://scientifichealer.com/relationship for Dr. Chopelas's five-step relationship healing protocol.Show notes at https://www.breakfreefromtheburnout.comDiscover your energy leaks.  Presentation on the Hidden Science of Energy Blocks: https://healersu.com/registerLiked this episode? Pay it forward and share it with a friend.Love the show? Write a 5-star review — even one sentence helps us keep bringing you the content you want to hear.More from Dr. Anastasia:Websites: https://www.healersu.com and https://www.scientifichealer.comLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/drachopelasFacebook: https://facebook.com/dranastasiachopelasYouTube: https://youtube.com/c/dranastasiachopelasSome product links on this site are affiliate links, which means we'll earn a small commission for any affiliate purchases you make (at no additional cost to you). We only recommend products that we use and/or personally trust, so you can browse with confidence.

In this episode, I sit down with Adam and Judith Nisenson to discuss the often overlooked experiences of women who betray and men who are betrayed.Cheating doesn't just happen to women, men get betrayed too.Links:Apsats.orghttps://www.betrayalshrink.com/https://open.spotify.com/show/1MQanETH3GogBFRhyx4lE9https://www.womenswrk.com/https://www.betrayalshrink.com/blog-resources/categories/men-get-cheated-on-too-podcast

Everyone acts like being a lovergirl is a flaw: too soft, too much, too easy to hurt... I disagree. In this episode I'm getting real about my own love story (the highs, the heartbreak, the lessons), what betrayal trauma actually did to me and how I'm healing from it, and why loving hard is a superpower, not a weakness. If you've ever been told you love "too much," this one's for you.Follow the podcast on all platforms

PBSE, Episode 342—Lying in addiction can take many forms, including outright denial, omission, minimization, exaggeration, deflection, gaslighting, and carefully constructed half-truths. Even when the subject of the lie appears trivial, the impact on a betrayed partner can be enormous because each new deception reinforces the message that reality is still being hidden and that she must remain vigilant to discover the truth. Repeated dishonesty is not merely a bad habit; it can become a form of integrity abuse that undermines a partner's safety, informed choices, and ability to trust her own perceptions.For many people, lying developed early as a protective response to punishment, instability, humiliation, rejection, or abandonment. Understanding these origins can help us approach the wounded and frightened parts of ourselves with compassion, but it cannot become an excuse for continuing to harm others. Habitual lying also reflects emotional immaturity because it attempts to avoid the normal discomfort of adulthood—disappointment, accountability, difficult conversations, consequences, and being seen accurately. Recovery begins when we honestly acknowledge that protecting our comfort, reputation, or immediate gratification has often taken priority over the safety of the person we say we love.Real integrity is built through repeated action rather than promises. We must practice moving toward discomfort, tell the truth before being discovered, and immediately correct any lie, omission, or distortion once we recognize it. This may require therapy, trauma work, accountability, recovery support, and clear relational boundaries, but no one else can make the central choice for us. Lasting change occurs when honesty becomes part of who we are—not simply a strategy to preserve the relationship—and when our partner can increasingly see that our words, actions, values, and priorities finally match.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   Why Do I Keep Lying to My Partner About the Stupidest Little Things?!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of The Dimple Bindra Show, Dimple speaks with Hong Kong-based dispute resolution strategist Lisa Tipton about what really happens to women after betrayal, cheating, emotional shock, and separation.This conversation explores the emotional, psychological, financial, and practical realities many women silently face after discovering infidelity.In This Episode We Talk About: Why betrayal creates emotional confusion and shock  Why women blame themselves after cheating  The hidden pressure women carry after betrayal  Why many women stay silent and isolate themselves  The emotional impact of betrayal on confidence and identity  How Asian women navigate shame, family pressure, and secrecy  What a healthy support system should actually look like  Why women should stabilize emotionally before making major decisions  How to prepare for difficult conversations around separation, finances, children, or property  Boundaries, gaslighting, manipulation, and protecting your peace  Common mistakes women make when trying to “keep the peace”  Why practical preparation matters after betrayal  The importance of emotional stabilization in the first 72 hours  How women can begin rebuilding clarity, self-trust, and emotional strength If you are navigating betrayal, emotional confusion, infidelity, or relationship conflict, this episode will help you feel less alone and more emotionally grounded.Follow Lisa Tipton Here! ✨ Not sure why you keep choosing pain over peace? Take the free WHY YOU GOT BETRAYED QUIZ and uncover the pattern you didn't even know was holding you back.If you can't eat, can't sleep, and keep replaying the betrayal in your head, this book was written for this exact moment. Get Betrayal ER™ on Amazon.

It's one of the most common—and heartbreaking—questions after betrayal trauma.This week Amie and Alana discuss what healing actually looks like after betrayal trauma, why recovery often feels painfully slow, and the practices that truly help. They explore support groups, self-compassion, psychoeducation, nervous system healing, somatic work, family-of-origin healing, and the obstacles that can quietly keep us stuck.Most importantly, this episode offers hope. Even if you can't see it today, healing is possible. If you're in the middle of the darkness, keep listening.Chapters01:14 Will I Ever Heal?2:00 Personal Story05:01 Darkness to Sunrise Metaphor07:47 Early Stage Healing Tools11:03 Real Self-Care Explained16:51 Psychoeducation and Roadmap21:24 What Hinders Healing25:14 Advanced Somatic Work32:15 There is HopeRegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men's Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.

Let's Think About "Betrayal Trauma" With Special Guest Mr. Jay What happens when the people we trust the most become the ones who hurt us the deepest? In this emotional and deeply vulnerable episode of Mitzi, Let's Think About It, Mitzi sits down with special guest Mr. Jay to unpack the painful reality of betrayal trauma — the kind of pain that changes how we see relationships, trust, love, and even ourselves. Together, they explore the emotional scars left behind by betrayal, the silent grief people carry, and the difficult journey of healing after trust has been broken. This conversation goes beyond heartbreak. It dives into the emotional confusion, anxiety, overthinking, abandonment wounds, and inner battles that betrayal can leave behind. If you've ever questioned your worth after being hurt… If you've struggled to trust again… If you've carried pain that nobody else could fully see… This episode will speak directly to your heart. In this episode, Mitzi and Mr. Jay discuss: • The emotional effects of betrayal trauma • Healing after broken trust • Mental and emotional recovery • Self-worth after betrayal • Why betrayal changes people emotionally • Learning to trust yourself again • Vulnerability, pain, and emotional growth And maybe the hardest question of all: How do we heal from pain caused by someone we once felt safe with? This episode is raw, reflective, emotional, and deeply human.

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and build a plan to overcome your pornography use? Click here to book a free call with Sam to get help to overcome pornography – https://stopporn.info/    Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Episode show notes: When a man struggles with a pornography addiction or habit, it shatters trust and security in his relationship. Most men desperately seek to repair and restore the relationship, but sadly find themselves struggling to help her feel better despite making positive changes individually. This episode of share with you, three specific ways, couples can approach the healing process together to help her pain heal and ultimately find closure. After 15,000 hours of doing therapy with clients, these are the top tools that I've had the most difference in the lives of my clients.

Send us Fan MailWhat if the betrayal didn't start the day you found out… but the day you stopped trusting yourself?In this episode, I talk about the psychology of self betrayal and why so many women ignore red flags, suppress their intuition, and rationalize unhealthy behavior before the truth finally comes out.I break down concepts like cognitive dissonance, trauma bonding, emotional paralysis, and why your body often knows something is wrong before your mind accepts it.If you've ever told yourself:“Maybe I'm overthinking.”“Maybe he's just stressed.”“I don't want to ruin this.”Please share this episode with someone who may need it.✨ Not sure why you keep choosing pain over peace? Take the free WHY YOU GOT BETRAYED QUIZ and uncover the pattern you didn't even know was holding you back.If you can't eat, can't sleep, and keep replaying the betrayal in your head, this book was written for this exact moment. Get Betrayal ER™ on Amazon.

In this episode (340), we respond to a deeply painful submission from a betrayed partner who is trying to determine whether she can stay in a marriage where her husband's recovery journey seems to be destroying her own healing journey. She discovered in 2024 that her husband had a long history of pornography addiction, alcoholism, escapism, attempted infidelity, trickle truths, and repeated broken promises. At the same time, she has been carrying an overwhelming personal load: mothering three children, navigating a long custody dispute, starting a new job after finishing college, managing the household, dealing with childhood sexual trauma and PTSD, and eventually experiencing a nervous breakdown and hospitalization.We emphasize that the first issue is not whether the marriage can be saved, but whether there is safety and stabilization. Her husband's alcohol-fueled rage, property damage, suicidal crisis, hospitalization, shame spirals, emotional attacks, and mental health diagnoses all point to the need for professional intervention, psychiatric care, risk assessment, and a clear safety plan. We also make clear that while diagnoses such as PTSD, borderline personality disorder, depression, anxiety, ADHD, alcoholism, and sex addiction can help explain behavior, they do not excuse harmful impact. His pain is real, but it cannot make her responsible for managing his emotions, preventing his collapse, or absorbing his volatility.The episode's core message is that his recovery must become his responsibility, not hers. A betrayed partner's overfunctioning can easily look like loving support, but if she is managing his emotions, protecting him from consequences, organizing his recovery, and sacrificing her own stability, the system becomes unsustainable and potentially dangerous. Any decision about staying cannot be based on his potential, temporary remorse, or the “flicker of a good man” she still sees in him; it must be based on sustained, observable, accountable change over time. Before true coupleship work can happen, there must be parallel healing: he must build and lead his own recovery system, and she must prioritize her safety, capacity, trauma healing, boundaries, and support network.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  When His Recovery Journey Is Destroying Her Healing JourneyLearn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Why does betrayal feel like it shatters your entire world? #BetrayalTrauma practitioner and #RelationshipCoach Mr. Jay explains why broken trust affects us so deeply, how childhood wounds amplify #emotionalpain, and the practical steps toward #healingafterinfidelity, abandonment, or emotional betrayal. Mr. Jay shares the surprising statistics behind healing after betrayal, why many couples actually grow stronger, and the mindset shifts necessary to #rebuildtrust, restore intimacy, and move forward together after emotional devastation.This episode offers hope for anyone #rebuildingtrust after trauma.Learn more and connect with Mr. Jay at: www.MrJayRelationshipCoach.com https://linktr.ee/traumapractitionerjay#betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumahealing #relationshiphealing #rebuildingtrust #trustafterbetrayal #infidelityrecovery #emotionalhealing #traumahealing #attachmenttrauma #childhoodtrauma #innerchildhealing #selftrust #healthyrelationships #relationshipadvice #mentalhealth #anxietyrecovery #depressionhealing #forgivenessjourney #boundaries #selfworth #resilience #personalgrowth #spiritualhealing #healthyrelationships #healthyrelationshiptips _____________________________________ABOUT SAMIA:Samia Bano is the #HappinessExpert, author, speaker, podcaster & coach for coaches and healers. Samia is most known for her book, 'Make Change Fun and Easy' and her #podcast of the same name. With the help of her signature Follow Your Heart Process™, a unique combination of #PositivePsychology and the #spiritual wisdom of our most effective #ChangeMakers, Samia helps you overcome #LimitingBeliefs, your chains of fear, to develop a #PositiveMindset and create the impact and income you desire with fun and ease…Samia's advanced signature programs include the Happiness 101 Class and the Transformative Action Training.Samia is also a Certified #ReikiHealer and Crisis Counselor working to promote #MentalHealthAwareness.  Samia models #HeartCenteredLeadership and business that is both #SociallyResponsible and #EnvironmentallyFriendly.Samia is a practicing #Muslim with an inter-spiritual approach. As someone who has a love and appreciation for diversity, she is a #BridgeBuilder between people of different faiths and cultures. Although Samia currently lives in California, USA, she has lived in 3 other countries and speaks Hindi, Urdu, and English fluently.  Want to learn even more about Samia? Visit www.academyofthriving.com :)To Book your Free HAPPINESS 101 EXPLORATION CALL with Samia, click: https://my.timetrade.com/book/JX9XJ

Send us Fan MailIf you stayed after betrayal… not because you didn't know better, but because you were worried about him, this episode is for you.In this episode of The Dimple Bindra Show, we uncover a deeply hidden pattern many women don't even realize they're living:You didn't stay out of love. You stayed out of responsibility.After betrayal, some women don't leave,  not because they are weak, but because they feel responsible for the person who hurt them.You start thinking: • Where will he go? • How will he survive? • What will happen to him without me?And without realizing it, you step into a role you were never meant to play:The caretaker. The fixer. The parent.In this episode, Dimple breaks down: • Why women become caretakers after betrayal • The connection between childhood conditioning and staying • How responsibility turns into self-betrayal • Why you cannot heal while parenting the person who hurt you • The moment empathy starts costing you your safety and voiceThis episode is for you if: • You stayed because leaving felt “cruel” • You feel responsible for someone who betrayed you • You've always been the strong one, the fixer, the emotional supportHere's the truth: You are not heartless for choosing yourself. You are not abandoning anyone.You are stepping out of a role you were never meant to carry.✨ Not sure why you keep choosing pain over peace? Take the free WHY YOU GOT BETRAYED QUIZ and uncover the pattern you didn't even know was holding you back.

Send us Fan MailYou're not just losing a person, you're losing the reality you thought you were living in. One day everything feels stable, and the next, you're questioning what was real, what wasn't, and how you didn't see it. In this episode of The Dimple Bindra Show, we dive deep into the psychology of betrayal and breakups with Hong Kong-based psychologist Peter Chan from Treehole HK.Check out Peter Chan's YoutTube Channel Here! Together, we unpack: Why betrayal feels more devastating than a normal breakup  The role of shock, anger, and emotional collapse Why your mind keeps replaying everything (rumination loops)  Why you still miss someone who hurt you  How betrayal impacts your ability to trust again  The concept of “secure attachment” breaking overnight Practical tools like “worry time” to regain control We also explore how to begin rebuilding your sense of self, even when everything feels broken.If you're in the first days or even months after betrayal, this conversation will help you understand what's happening inside your mind and how to move forward with clarity.Follow:✨ Not sure why you keep choosing pain over peace? Take the free WHY YOU GOT BETRAYED QUIZ and uncover the pattern you didn't even know was holding you back.If you can't eat, can't sleep, and keep replaying the betrayal in your head, this book was written for this exact moment. Get Betrayal ER™ on Amazon.

Send us Fan MailThere's one behavior after cheating that tells you everything.And most women misunderstand it.In this episode of The Dimple Bindra Show, we break down a confusing pattern that looks like change… but often isn't:When he suddenly becomes “better” after getting caught.He's calmer. Kinder. More careful. More attentive.And it makes you think:“Maybe he's really changing.”But here's the truth: Niceness is not accountability.In this episode, Dimple unpacks: • Why sudden “good behavior” after cheating can be misleading • The difference between real change vs strategic adjustment • Why men often change when something is at risk, not when they gain awareness • How women start gaslighting themselves when things “look better” • What true accountability actually looks like over timeThis episode is for you if: • He seems better… but you still feel unsure • You're questioning your instincts because “he's trying” • You feel confused between what you see vs what you feelHere's the truth: Just because he's quieter… doesn't mean he's different.Just because he's nicer… doesn't mean he's accountable.Real change is not about tone. It's about responsibility,  consistently, over time.If his behavior only changed after consequences showed up… that's not transformation. That's strategy.Follow Dimple Bindra here!✨ Not sure why you keep choosing pain over peace? Take the free WHY YOU GOT BETRAYED QUIZ and uncover the pattern you didn't even know was holding you back.If you can't eat, can't sleep, and keep replaying the betrayal in your head, this book was written for this exact moment. Pre-order Betrayal ER™ on Amazon.

In this episode, Marnie speaks with Candice Christiansen about navigating betrayal trauma through the lens of neuro-difference, an incredibly important topic we have not focused on before on the Helping Couples Heal Podcast. Together, they explore why traditional recovery models may not always meet the needs of individuals and couples navigating autism, ADHD, trauma, and betrayal.Candice shares both her personal story and more than two decades of clinical experience supporting neuro-different adults and couples. Together, she and Marnie explore how betrayal trauma can impact neuro-different nervous systems, why a neuro-affirming approach can be an important part of recovery, and how couples can begin understanding each other's communication styles, sensory experiences, and expressions of empathy with clarity and compassion.Their conversation also touches on the added complexity of betrayal trauma when autism or ADHD may be present, common misunderstandings around empathy and emotional processing, and how healing often requires individualized support rather than a one-size-fits-all approach. Throughout the episode, Candice offers compassion, clarity, and hope for individuals and couples navigating betrayal trauma alongside neuro-difference, and reinforces that healing looks different for every person. Meaningful support and connection are possible.Resources Mentioned in This EpisodeLearn more about Candice and her work here: CandiceChristiansen.comVisit the Namaste Center for Healing here: Namasté Center for HealingInterested in Candice's book Love, Sex & Autism? Learn more and purchase here: Love, Sex & AutismCandice mentions Embrace Autism as a helpful resource for autism education and self-screening tools: Embrace Autism WebsiteInterested in Candice's Autism Self-Screening Tool? Reach out to her at candice@namasteadvice.comWant to connect with us? Click here to schedule your free 15-minute call.

DOPEY FILM FESTIVAL TICKETS: https://buytickets.at/thedopeyfoundation/2216905 JOIN PATREON: www.patreon.com/dopeypodcast NOTES:  This week on Dopey! We have it all! Emails! Blood Shot Voice mails! Comments! Mysogny and Sisterhood! Then we bring dopey with Natanya Ross — the iconic 90s child star from The Secret Life of Alex Mack. I sat down with her in LA and she absolutely opened up her soul. We covered everything from her crazy early fame (she was doing Gerber commercials at six months old), discovering she was adopted at 19, her adoptive mother's horrific betrayal and financial abuse, to descending into heavy opioid and heroin addiction. Natanya got real about living in a car and at the notorious American Hotel on Skid Row with other child stars, her relationship with Brad Renfro (who tragically overdosed and died right next to her), the later death of her fiancé Blake, and how she fought her way into long-term recovery. She's now deep in the treatment world — Executive Director of Business Development at Valiant Behavioral Health, President of the Women's Association of Addiction Treatment, and founder of San Fernando Valley Feed the Homeless.  This one is serious Dopey business — raw child star trauma, Hollywood darkness, and triumphant recovery all in one.  ALL THAT AND WAY MORE on this weeks new episode of that good old Dopey Show! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.