Podcasts about Betrayal trauma

Traditional marriage counseling can actually make things worse after infidelity — but trauma-informed, Christ-centered couples therapy can transform your marriage from brokenness to breakthrough. In this episode, Lisa explains why the wrong kind of therapy can re-traumatize the betrayed spouse, and how to find the right kind of help that honors your faith and your healing journey. Learn how her Marriage Redesigned program helps couples re-establish safety, rebuild empathy, and restore intimacy through biblical truth and trauma-informed care. :: NEXT STEPS: MARRIAGE REDESIGNED PROGRAM  Schedule your MARRIAGE REDESIGNED FREE CONSULT  Join our Beauty Beyond Betrayal Sisterhood:   Healing from an affair: Heartbreak Recovery for Christian Women Grab your Free Ebook:   Broken Vows: Begin healing from the devastation of betrayal Email:   info@lisalimehouse.com WEBSITE:  www.lisalimehouse.com Got a question you want answered?  ASK HERE

In episode 307, Mark & Steve respond to an all-too-common history and situation submitted by a betrayed partner. Healthy sexual intimacy after betrayal cannot simply return to what it once was; it must be rebuilt on a new foundation of authenticity and safety. Because pornography shapes the brain and rewires arousal patterns, couples often find themselves questioning what's real, what's healthy, and whether desire is rooted in connection or in old fantasy. Many partners struggle to trust, and many addicts struggle to trust themselves, creating a complex emotional landscape that must be navigated with care. This healing begins by evaluating intention and headspace—asking not what partners want to do sexually, but why they want to do it and what meaning it carries.From there, intimacy must be rebuilt through trust and transparency. Couples need to be able to talk openly about sexual preferences, fears, boundaries, and emotional needs before engaging physically. Silence or lack of objection is not consent; safety must be mutual, expressed, and explicit. Boundaries should be set outside of arousal states, and couples may need to slow down significantly—sometimes even stepping back to basics like hand-holding or non-sexual touch—while they rebuild a foundation that can hold the weight of deeper connection.Ultimately, recovering sexual intimacy after sexual toxicity is an evolving journey, not an achievement. It requires vulnerability, patience, and willingness to explore together rather than perform or comply. When couples move intentionally through this process—anchoring their sexuality in meaning, emotional presence, collaboration, and shared values—they often find themselves creating a sexual connection that is deeper and healthier than anything they experienced before recovery.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   How Do We Discover/Recover Healthy Sexual Intimacy After Sexual Toxicity and Betrayal?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

David and Sherie continue talking about betrayal trauma and the pendulum swing that can happen as we're doing our best to navigate the hurt that occurs with partner betrayal. We need to consider the reasons behind behavior and separate the person from the pattern, having grace for the reasons behind the behavior while also protecting ourself. Listen to learn more!

I have that photograph of Christmas. That kid saw so many possibilities. I think he would've looked at me and said: wait, you're 38 years older than me and you're still doing the same stuff I'm doing? That sucks." This might be the most heartbreaking conversation we've ever recorded. Jay looks back at 11 moments when his heart hardened - and the younger version of himself that got left behind. What you'll discover: • The progression: soft → hard → soft → really hard (how hearts harden and soften over years) • "I had to shut myself down to what lying was doing to her" (the only way to keep lying) • When spiritual language disguises emotional death ("I'm at peace" but couldn't define peace) • The situations that should have broken him but didn't (grandfather's death, divorce, losing his career) • "He had sufficiently shut me up" (how addicts train themselves to stop reacting to pain) • Why his internal world became "really tiny" (addiction closes you down to just the screen) • Narcotics Anonymous Step 3: "We no longer have a conscience" (aggressively pursuing what we want) • The younger self question that gutted him (what would that hopeful kid think?) For partners: This explains why he seems emotionally flat, why your pain doesn't register, why spiritual words feel hollow. You're watching someone whose heart has hardened layer by layer. For addicts: Can you see it happening? The pattern of harden → soften → harden deeper? The moments you chose impulse over conscience? The kid you used to be is still in there. Plus: The difference between acceptance and resignation (one has peace, the other has anger and self-pity). CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro: Powerful clips (younger self, shut her up, no conscience) 01:23 Can you see your heart hardening over the years? 02:41 Did your heart harden spiritually, not just toward me? 03:22 What led you back to porn after 6 months sober in college? 04:51 Beyond anxiety - what other feelings drove you back? 05:09 When did your emotional responses become muted or automatic? 05:45 "I should be feeling something right now, but I don't" 07:43 Did you interpret numbness as maturity or strength? 08:11 How did you train yourself to stop reacting to my pain? 09:39 What situations should have broken you but didn't? 10:45 Did spiritual language disguise your emotional hardening? 12:32 Did your internal world feel smaller and flatter over time? 13:11 When God told you to stop, you consciously chose your own way 15:48 What would your younger self think of who you became? 17:26 Question for viewers: Have you watched someone grow cold? -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay's porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we're using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you're seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

Is betrayal trauma really different for men and women? Most men do not come into therapy later rather than sooner. Men feel isolated for most of the betrayal trauma experience. Women usually over-function during the BT experience especially earlier in the journey. Join the conversation: Do you think men are given the same emotional space to heal as women? Drop your thoughts below. Subscribe for more open, unfiltered discussions on healing, relationships, and emotional recovery. Turn on notifications so you don't miss new weekly episodes. #BetrayalTrauma #MensMentalHealth #Relationships #HealingJourney #TherapyTalk #EmotionalHealing

Infidelity doesn't just destroy trust in the present — it rewrites your past and makes you question everything you thought was real.In this video, I respond to a man who discovered that his wife cheated years ago… and now her old lover has confessed everything. What happens when your entire marriage suddenly looks like a lie? What do you do when the woman you trusted most betrays you — and your gut told you the truth all along?If you've been through betrayal or are struggling to move forward, you're not alone. This video will help you understand:Why infidelity destroys your sense of realityHow shame stops men from trusting their instinctsWhat to do when you find out years laterHow to rebuild your self-worth and identity

Dr. Jessica Lamar, Licensed Mental Health Therapist, explores unseen wounds and understanding disenfranchised grief and betrayal trauma. What is disenfranchised grief, and why does it matter? Dr. Lamar overs betrayal trauma, emotional and psychological impact, healing, and support strategies. She and Tami then answer participant questions about grief and boundaries, conversations and resources that are available to help navigate grief.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Intro. [2:58] Defining ambiguous loss – am I even in grief?  [4:40] Disenfranchised grief is a loss that is not openly acknowledged, socially validated or publicly mourned.  [6:02] Examples of disenfranchised grief as it relates to betrayal trauma. [11:30] Ambiguous losses that are associated with betrayal trauma.  [13:56] When betrayal occurs, the resulting grief is often disenfranchised.  [15:47] Statements that are commonly heard in disenfranchised grief.  [18:36] The psychological and emotional impact of disenfranchised grief.  [24:12] Strategies for empowering ourselves after loss.  [27:34] Common ways we invalidate grief after betrayal. [29:45] How can I validate myself in my grief?  [37:04] Interventions to help navigate disenfranchised grief.  [41:35] What resources are available to better understand and process grief.  [44:20] What dialog can we use to better communicate with extended family members who will not allow space for grief?  [47:35] How can I navigate anticipatory grief when I don't know what is actually going to happen?  [48:55] How can I ever start dating again after betrayal?  [50:49] What if the person who feels unsafe to me is a therapist?  [52:28] What is appropriate to say to our adult children?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "When a loss isn't socially recognized, the grieving process can be isolating and difficult to navigate."  "The lack of validation can make the pain even more isolating."  "When we are alone with our betrayal trauma and our grief, we can start to invalidate our own feelings."  "Navigating disenfranchised grief and betrayal trauma requires real, intentional effort to heal."  "No one has the right to tell people what is or isn't a loss."   

Sex addiction takes its toll on the addict and the partner. Listen in for physical symptoms to know about. Subscribe for more powerful discussions on healing, relationships, and emotional recovery. Join our community for new uploads every week. #EmotionalHealing #Relationships #TherapyTalk #Anger #RecoveryJourney #MentalHealthAwareness #AddictiontoSex #BetrayalTrauma #Cheating

This episode (#306) addresses a common but painful question from betrayed partners: “Is my spouse a narcissist, or just showing narcissistic tendencies?” Mark and Steve explain that while the term “narcissist” has become a cultural buzzword, true narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is rare and defined by a complete absence of empathy. In contrast, addicts in denial often appear narcissistic because they're reacting defensively from fear and shame. Their hurtful behaviors—blame-shifting, gaslighting, and emotional withdrawal—mimic narcissism but stem from self-protection, not superiority.The hosts emphasize that what matters most isn't the label but the destination. Whether the issue is narcissism, addiction, or emotional immaturity, the key question is: Where is this relationship heading if nothing changes? The described situation clearly reflects an abuse cycle—one fueled by denial, volatility, and manipulation. For the addict, breaking that cycle means pausing reactivity, taking full ownership, and seeking specialized recovery help rather than generic therapy. True healing begins only when defensiveness gives way to empathy and accountability.For the betrayed partner, safety and support come first. Isolation only deepens the trauma, so finding community through trusted friends, family, or support groups like S-Anon and SALifeline is essential. She must set firm boundaries and remember that protecting her partner from consequences is not the same as loving him. The episode closes with practical resources—including books like The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents—and a hopeful reminder that even deeply wounded couples can rebuild when they both commit to truth, humility, and genuine change.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   Is My Partner a "Narcissist" of does he just have Narcissistic Tendencies?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Welcome to another episode of Restoring the Soul. Today, Michael John Cusick is joined by author, speaker, and men's group leader Drew Boa to discuss Drew's groundbreaking new book, Outgrow Porn: Find Lasting Freedom Without Fighting an Exhausting Battle.This conversation dives deep into breaking free from pornography—not through more willpower or "white-knuckling," but by truly healing and growing emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. Drew shares how his approach helps men connect with their inner child, understand their sexual fantasies, and use practical tools (14 of them, to be exact) to experience genuine freedom. They also discuss the impact of betrayal and sexual addiction on wives and partners, highlighting the importance of support and compassion for everyone affected.Together, Michael and Drew challenge the traditional “battle” rhetoric around pornography recovery and invite listeners into a paradigm-shifting journey—one where lasting change is possible and shame doesn't get the final word.Support the showENGAGE THE RESTORING THE SOUL PODCAST:- Follow us on YouTube - Tweet us at @michaeljcusick and @PodcastRTS- Like us on Facebook- Follow us on Instagram & Twitter- Follow Michael on Twitter- Email us at info@restoringthesoul.com Thanks for listening!

David and Sherie talk about betrayal trauma and the long-term effects, a request from a listener, and where this concept leads us. We talk about the effects but also consider the impact of how our beliefs and the tendency to swing to the other end of the pendulum when hurt can complicate things. The narrative we adopt really influences where healing and reconciliation goes. Listen to learn more about how we conceptualize this important issue, including being careful to respond well in order to really consider and heal the relationship.

This episode (#305) opens with a raw letter from a betrayed partner who discovered her husband had been using social media photos of women they both knew—friends, clients, even family—to fuel his sexual fantasies. Her anguish—“How could he ever love me if he could do this?”—captures the emotional devastation of betrayal trauma. We discuss how porn and sex addiction warp the brain's functioning, turning sexual stimulation into a survival need. When addiction takes over the limbic brain, logic, empathy, and morality shut down, producing behavior that makes no sense to the healthy mind.For betrayed partners, healing begins not with fixing him, but with caring for themselves. That means seeking outside support, reframing “How do I get over this?” into “How do I attend to my trauma?” and embracing acceptance—not as approval, but as facing reality so they can make empowered choices. From there, the partner can form clear, self-protective boundaries based on her authentic needs. Boundaries aren't about controlling the addict—they're about safeguarding one's own integrity and safety.For addicts, true recovery demands brutal honesty and a willingness to dismantle the lies that keep them in the “secret sexual basement.” They must uncover the emotional roots of their addiction, stop reacting defensively, and take proactive leadership in rebuilding trust. Healing requires outside accountability, transparency, and a daily commitment to growth. Ultimately, both partners must walk their own journeys—she toward safety and truth, he toward honesty and maturity. Whether they reunite or not, redemption is possible when both confront reality with courage, humility, and integrity.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  My Porn Addicted Partner uses photos of Family & Friends to Fantasize! What Do I Do?!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

The opposite of love is something OTHER THAN HATE. And when Lori stopped crying? That's when Jay finally got scared. In this raw 26-minute conversation, Lori ask Jay 12 Questions about what really went through his mind when he saw her crying over his betrayal. His answers reveal the uncomfortable truth about damaged empathy, hardened hearts, and why Lori's silence terrified him MORE than her tears ever did. They also cover what EMOTINAL MATURITY is… and isn't. What you'll discover: • What Jay felt in his body the first time he saw Lori cry (fear, and …) • When her crying stopped affecting him the same way (damaged empathy) • Did her tears make him want to just get better at HIDING? (the honest answer) • The story he told himself to pretend her pain didn't exist • The moment she stopped crying and why THAT finally scared him • Did he feel bad for her… or for how it made him look? For Partners: If he's seen your pain through your tears and still nothing changed, this video explains why. Plus, Jay reveals what finally broke through his hardened heart. For Addicts: This conversation shows the difference between feeling bad about messing up vs. feeling bad for the person you hurt. It also challenges you to see your wife's tears as a sign of pain instead of a sign of your worth? Plus: The accounting vs. math analogy that helped Jay understand what Lori needed (and WHY IT DIDN'T LAST). NOTE: We're trying a new editing style, going from natural but long to choppier and shorter. (Tell us which you prefer!) CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro (new editing = choppier.) 01:23 What did you feel when I cried? 06:51 EMOTIONAL MATURITY EQUALS… 08:42 Did you feel bad for me (vs your image)? 11:12 What did you FEEL IN YOUR BODY in the breakthrough moment? 12:20 When did my crying STOP affecting you the same way? 14:58 Did you feel ANNOYED when I cried? 15:33 Did my tears ever make you feel powerful? 18:24 Did you only cry over own feelings… or for me? 19:16 What story did you tell yourself to pretend my pain didn't exist? 20:16 Did watching me cry make you want to get better at HIDING? 21:15 Did you ever feel bad about NOT feeling bad? 22:37 What was hardest: the emotion or consequences? 24:12 Did it SCARE YOU MORE when I stopped crying (indifference) 25:49 Questions for viewers & Sneak Peek -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay's porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we're using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you're seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

Anger after betrayal can feel overwhelming, confusing, and even “out of character.” In this episode of Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships, Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck joins Dan Drake, Jeanne Vattoune, Tim Stein and Wendy Conquest to break down the reality of betrayal trauma anger, why it shows up, how it unfolds over time, and what tools can help process it. Whether someone is facing infidelity, broken trust, or betrayal in relationships, this conversation offers clarity, validation, and practical guidance for navigating one of the most difficult emotions in healing.

When betrayal is discovered, anger can feel overwhelming. In this episode of Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships, we sit down with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck to explore how betrayal trauma anger shows up both immediately and over time. Dr. Hollenbeck explains why betrayed partners often experience anger in waves as more consequences and realizations surface, not only at discovery, but months or even years later. This conversation validates the deep emotional impact betrayal has on both sides of the relationship and offers tools for navigating anger without shame.

In Episode 304, Mark and Steve address a powerful letter from a partner whose relationship began in betrayal—her husband secretly continued sexual involvement with his ex while dating her and later maintained years of hidden pornography use. Despite countless promises to quit, he lied, relapsed, and gaslighted her, leaving her emotionally and physically wrecked. They affirm that what she's experiencing is genuine betrayal trauma, not overreaction, describing how chronic deceit and emotional abuse erode safety, identity, and even bodily health.The hosts urge her to stop carrying responsibilities that were never hers—monitoring his devices, managing his guilt, or offering premature forgiveness. Healing, they explain, begins with reclaiming her independence and self-worth. That requires professional therapy, strong boundaries, and releasing the roles of “policewoman,” “confessor,” and “absolver.” For the relationship to have any chance of survival, the truth must come out in full through a professionally guided disclosure process, possibly with a polygraph, so she can finally make informed choices about her future.For the husband, Mark and Steve insist that real recovery is proactive, structured, and honest. He must stop reacting only when caught and instead pursue transparency and leadership in his healing. Whether through Dare to Connect or another structured program, addicts need daily accountability and consistent engagement. Ultimately, they stress that rebuilding trust takes time and integrity—measured not in promises but in patterns. For the partner, the focus now is learning to trust herself again; for the addict, it's becoming truly trustworthy. Only then can real recovery and genuine connection begin.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  In a relationship Filled with Betrayal—How Can I Trust He will NOT Betray Me Again?!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

In this upcoming episode of Conversations on Sex Addiction and Relationships, the team explores how betrayal trauma extends beyond sexual infidelity with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck. While sexual betrayal is often the most visible form of hurt, many partners experience deep wounds from emotional betrayal, financial secrecy, or broken trust from friends, family, and community members. Crystal shares insights from her research and introduces the CALMING Model, a seven-phase approach to processing anger and navigating the chaos of betrayal. Wondering why betrayal hurts so deeply? This conversation explains why and offers compassion, clarity, and practical tools for moving forward.

In this episode of the David Watson Podcast, betrayal-trauma practitioner Mr Jay breaks down what really happens to your brain and body after infidelity or a breakup, why the pain can feel worse than grief, and the practical steps to move from shock to stability to rebuilding. We talk about • Why betrayal trauma is different: it feels personal, it's a “secret society,” and it even rewrites your past • The brain on betrayal: amygdala overdrive, prefrontal cortex shutdown, hippocampus and time/place distortions • Triggers and “emotional flashbacks,” and how to calm the system so you can think again • The early rule: don't make major decisions in the first 3–6 months; choose from empowerment, not fear • Needs assessment 101: what you actually need in week 1 vs. week 12 • Betrayal blindness and the thousand micro-justifications that precede an affair • Reframing the inner dialogue: separating your worth from someone else's choices • Pebbles and raindrops: tiny promises that rebuild self-trust and self-esteem • Practical tools: journaling, simple meditations, walking, “gratitude with reasons,” and everyday follow-through • Staying vs leaving in long relationships: finances, family systems, resentment, and compassion without excusing • The “dash” on the tombstone, bridge-and-volcano analogy, and other mindsets that help you keep going Key takeaways • Healing time beats time alone. Numbing and avoiding stretch the pain; gentle daily work releases it. • You are 0% responsible for someone else's decision to betray. You're 100% responsible for how you show up next. • Self-esteem returns through kept promises to yourself. Start very small and be consistent. • If you stay, rebuild from safety and transparency; if you leave, leave when you feel grounded and resourced. Resources and mentions • Mr Jay, betrayal-trauma practitioner and relationship coach • Gratitude journal exercise: list 3 things you're grateful for, with 3 reasons each • Music mention: The Lady of Shalott by Loreena McKennitt If you're in the thick of it Please don't do anything rash. Give yourself days and weeks to settle your nervous system. Talk to someone trained in betrayal/trauma. Being heard and guided changes everything.  Where to find Mr Jay https://mrjayrelationshipcoach.com

After betrayal, fear and anxiety can feel like constant companions—keeping you up at night, flooding your thoughts, and robbing you of peace. But what if one of the most powerful healing tools was already in your hands? In this episode, Lisa shares how journaling can help you process fears and worries, release trauma from your body, and renew your mind through God's truth. Backed by the latest research from Dr. James Pennebaker (University of Texas at Austin) and the Journal of Traumatic Stress (2023), you'll discover how writing integrates your emotional and logical brain, helping you move from chaos to clarity. You'll also learn: Why journaling is both scientifically and spiritually proven to reduce anxiety and fear How writing helps you process emotions safely and rewire your thoughts toward truth 3 powerful journal prompts to help you pour out your heart before God and find peace again If you're ready to move beyond fear and start healing your heart, mind, and spirit, this episode will guide you there.

When you love someone who's caught in addiction—whether it's porn, alcohol, or anything else that numbs pain—the chaos doesn't just stay with them. It spills into your relationship, your emotions, and even your identity.In this episode of The No More Desire Podcast, I sit down with Holly Thornton, author of The Hardest Help, who's lived through the agony of betrayal trauma, manipulation, and loss—and emerged with compassion, clarity, and tools that actually work.Together, we explore what most recovery conversations miss: how addiction and betrayal trauma intertwine, and how both partners can begin to heal through boundaries, empathy, and truth.If you're a man working to overcome porn addiction, this episode will give you a powerful glimpse into what your spouse experiences on the other side of your addiction—and how understanding her pain can transform your recovery.And if you're the partner of someone battling addiction, you'll learn how to support your loved one without losing yourself, why “rock bottom” is a dangerous myth, and what practical, compassion-based methods like the CRAFT approach can do to restore hope.In This Episode, We Explore:How betrayal trauma affects the brain—and why partners of addicts often feel anxious, confused, or “crazy.”The myth of rock bottom and why waiting for collapse keeps you trapped in addiction.Emotional regulation tools rooted in neuroscience to calm the nervous system and build resilience.The psychology of boundaries—how to protect yourself and rebuild trust without punishing or controlling your partner.Why curiosity heals more than confrontation, and how to communicate in a way that promotes safety, not shame.How small daily actions rewire the addicted brain through neuroplasticity and consistency.Spiritual and psychological integration—how empathy, compassion, and ownership reconnect you to your True Self.This conversation isn't about blame—it's about healing through understanding.It's about becoming a man who doesn't just say “I'm sorry,” but lives as someone who's safe to love.Because real recovery isn't just about quitting porn—it's about becoming whole, grounded, and emotionally present enough to lead yourself and your relationship with integrity.Link to Blog Article for this EpisodeIf you're ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You'll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart.Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your lifeFollow Holly at thehardesthelp.comor on Instagram @holly_jthortonSupport the showNo More Desire

When your marriage has been shattered by infidelity or sexual addiction, you don't just feel heartbroken—you feel unsafe, disoriented, and disconnected from your own body and faith. That's the power of betrayal trauma—it impacts your brain, your nervous system, and your spirit. In this episode, Lisa Limehouse—betrayal trauma and infidelity recovery specialist—explains how trauma-informed care can help you heal the whole person: mind, body, and spirit. She unpacks how approaches like EMDR, somatic therapies, and Christian trauma recovery restore safety and peace after betrayal. You'll discover:

In PBSE Episode 303, Mark and Steve respond to a betrayed partner's questions about what real accountability looks like for a recovering porn/sex addict. Real accountability in porn and sex addiction recovery is far more than saying “I'm sorry.” It's a deep, ongoing process of taking full ownership of one's actions, beginning with radical honesty toward oneself and others. Addicts must stop minimizing, rationalizing, or blaming others, and instead acknowledge the full scope of their behavior and its impact. Accountability also means recognizing that a betrayed partner should never be the primary support system. Building and actively engaging with a recovery network — including 12-step groups, sponsors, therapists, and accountability partners — is non-negotiable for sustained change.Another critical element of accountability is proactive communication and planning. Addicts must not only do the work but also share it, keeping their partners informed through transparent conversations and consistent updates. They need to anticipate triggering situations, create strategies for managing them, and follow through with deliberate, measurable actions. Empathy plays a pivotal role here — not as self-pity or shared misery, but as a sincere effort to understand and sit with the pain their actions have caused. This emotional ownership helps rebuild trust and fosters deeper connection.Finally, accountability must be consistent. Trust is not restored by one grand gesture but by countless small choices made faithfully over time. Partners, too, can support healing by practicing boundaried empathy — seeking to understand without excusing harmful behavior. Together, honesty, empathy, proactive planning, and unwavering consistency create the conditions for real recovery and a stronger, more authentic relationship. Accountability, at its core, is love in action — the daily choice to show up differently and to earn trust again, one step at a time.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  What does ACTUAL Accountability look like for a Porn/Sex Addict in REAL Recovery? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

HONEST QUESTION: Did you ever think 'SHE'LL NEVER LEAVE ME, so I can keep doing this'? Most partners wonder if their addict secretly believed they could get away with it forever. In this brutally honest conversation, Jay answers questions that keeps betrayed spouses up at night, including: DID YOU THINK I WAS TOO WEAK TO LEAVE? His answer might surprise you. What you'll discover: • Why Jay believed 'people leave' but kept lying anyway (the twisted logic of addiction) • The moment I stopped being the 'good Christian girl' and what finally changed • Did he see my staying as weakness or strength? (you need to hear this) • How addicts put 'stock in their ability to lie' and why that delusion keeps them trapped • The difference between desperate plate-spinning vs. mastermind manipulation (who we work with) • When it finally hit him that I wasn't going to tolerate this forever (it wasn't what I expected) FOR PARTNERS: If you've ever wondered whether your loyalty is being used as a weapon against you, this conversation validates everything you're feeling. Jay reveals what was really going through his mind when I stayed, when I threatened to leave, and when I finally meant it. FOR ADDICTS: If you're thinking 'just one more time' or 'she'll never find out,' you need to hear why that thinking is borrowed time, not clever strategy. PLUS: What I did every time we had a bad conversation (separating boxes, DIY divorce books, and the grief that always followed). COMMENT BELOW: Do you ever feel like YOUR LOYALTY OR KINDNESS is used against you? TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Intro: Did you think I'd never leave? 00:34 Did you think she'll never leave me, so I can keep doing this? 01:42 Did you think you'd never face real consequences? 03:29 Did you ever test my limits? 04:14 Did it ever sink in that I might actually leave? (Lori's experience) 06:13 What I did with MY ANGER (separating boxes & DIY divorce) 07:16 Did you realize my staying wasn't the same as healing? 08:22 Did you misinterpret my silence as a GREEN LIGHT? 10:09 Did you mentally calculate how much I'd put up with? 11:24 Was your ABILITY TO LIE A SOURCE OF PRIDE? 12:34 Did you see me as WEAK FOR STAYING? (his answer surprised me)* 15:04 The type of men we work with 15:40 How many times did you think 'she'll never find out'? 17:22 The moment I stopped being the 'good Christian girl' 17:28 QUESTION FOR VIEWERS: Is your loyalty used as a weapon? -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay's porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we're using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you're seeking. #narcissisticabuse #gaslighting #toxicrelationships #marriagehealing #trustissues #emotionalabuse #christianmarriage #deception #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

Betrayal trauma leaves deep emotional and spiritual wounds — but healing is possible. In this powerful episode, Lisa  shares five evidence-based, biblically grounded strategies to help you begin recovering from the devastation of betrayal. You'll learn how to: Rebuild safety and stability after betrayal Reconnect with your true identity in Christ Process your pain instead of numbing it Set healthy boundaries that protect your heart Rewire your mind with God's truth using neuroscience and Scripture Grounded in research from Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score), Dr. Caroline Leaf, and Drs. Cloud & Townsend (Boundaries in Marriage), this episode equips you with the tools to move from surviving to thriving — one faith-filled step at a time.

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!We're taking a short break from recording and re-releasing a powerful episode — Betrayal Trauma. This conversation was originally recorded in 2024, and while our language and understanding have evolved since then, the message still holds true. If you're new here, this is one of the episodes that helped so many people finally put words to what they were living through.Betrayal trauma refers to the deep psychological harm that occurs when someone experiences a significant betrayal within a primary relationship such as a romantic partnership and it impacts the victim's sense of trust, safety, and security. Codependency doesn't come close to touching on the trauma experienced by spouses and partners of alcoholics, addicts, or people that have been affected by infidelity, but betrayal trauma does. In this episode we discuss betrayal trauma and its roots, as well as examples and the reasons the effects from betrayal fallout aren't as simple as picking up and moving on. Betrayal trauma has psychological, behavioral, and emotional effects that last long after the events that caused betrayal have passed. You have been through significant trauma whether you realize it or not and your healing journey begins with understanding concepts such as this. We hope you glean some validation and assistance for what's next for you as you navigate your challenges. We're here for you every step of the way.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comSupport the Show:Buy Us a Coffee!Online Program: www.independentlystrong.comSoberlink Device:www.soberlink.com/wheelsCheck out our blog:https://twfo.com/blogFollow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

In this PBSE episode (#302), Mark & Steve respond to a betrayed partner who faces an all-too-common form of "double-dealing." When a partner says “you're the most beautiful woman in the world” but secretly consumes porn featuring people who look nothing like you—who are NOT you—the contradiction is deeply painful. It undermines trust, triggers feelings of rejection, and cuts to the core of self-worth. This isn't just about “boys being boys” — it's a betrayal of the exclusivity and commitment that a relationship is built on. While the addict may genuinely believe his words, addiction operates on a different logic. Pornography is less about attraction and more about escape — a way to numb, avoid vulnerability, and chase novelty. Over time, it stunts emotional maturity, leaving the addict unable to pursue true intimacy in a healthy, adult way.This disconnect creates what we call the “unverifiable problem”: the addict wants to be believed, but his actions have destroyed credibility. Trust can't be rebuilt through promises alone; it requires consistent, verifiable action. Accountability, empathy, transparency, and small daily follow-throughs are essential to show that change is real. Words mean nothing if they aren't backed by behavior. Over time, repeated trustworthy actions can help rebuild the foundation of safety and make belief possible again.For the betrayed partner, healing also involves turning inward. Recovery is not about fixing him — it's about reclaiming your own self-worth, building a support system, and ensuring your emotional needs are met, regardless of his progress. This may include strengthening friendships, pursuing passions, or addressing codependency. Ultimately, true reconciliation happens when both partners do their work on parallel tracks: the addict becoming a trustworthy, empathetic partner, and the betrayed partner reclaiming her agency and strength. Only then can trust, intimacy, and love become real again.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  My Partner says He Only Has Eyes for Me—but He's Hooked on Porn—Should I Believe Him? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Send us a textHave you or someone you love experienced betrayal trauma? In this episode, I sit down with Katie Davis, an LDS betrayal trauma coach, to talk about what betrayal trauma is, how it impacts mental and spiritual health, and the steps to start healing.You'll hear Katie's story of moving through deep hurt toward peace and purpose, and how she now helps others do the same.________________________For more information on this episode and other mental health resources, head to the link below!Show notes: www.ldsmentalhealthco.com/blog/219________________________

In this mini episode, Lisa answers one powerful question: How does betrayal trauma differ from other traumas? Betrayal trauma isn't like any other kind of pain — it strikes at the very foundation of safety, trust, and identity within your most intimate relationship. When the one who vowed to love and protect you becomes the one who causes the deepest wound, it shatters more than your heart — it shakes your entire sense of reality. Lisa explains why betrayal trauma feels so different, how it impacts your mind, body, and spirit, and why healing requires a specialized approach that goes far beyond behavior change. You'll discover how to begin rebuilding safety, regulating emotions, restoring identity, and allowing God to take the ashes of your story and create something brand new. If you're walking through the aftermath of infidelity or sexual betrayal, this short but powerful episode will help you understand what's really happening inside you — and where true healing begins. ✨ Learn more about healing from betrayal trauma through Lisa's Roadmap to Recovery program for women or Marriage Redesigned for couples at lisalimehouse.com. :: NEXT STEPS: MARRIAGE REDESIGNED PROGRAM  Schedule your MARRIAGE REDESIGNED FREE CONSULT  Join our Beauty Beyond Betrayal Sisterhood:   Healing from an affair: Heartbreak Recovery for Christian Women Grab your Free Ebook:   Broken Vows: Begin healing from the devastation of betrayal Email:   info@lisalimehouse.com WEBSITE:  www.lisalimehouse.com Got a question you want answered?  ASK HERE

With your co-hostesses: Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com  and special guest Cat Etherington from nakedtruthproject.com Support HFW through a donation Listen now: Our guest-rockstar, Cat Etherington, is with us as we continue the discussion around how cultural complexities can create additional layers to navigate in a betrayed wife's healing and recovery. We Will be Discussing: How can she navigate this and empower herself? What hope can we leave our listeners around cultural complexities? Resources mentioned in this show: Naked Truth Project Redeemed Hope Healing Intensive Retreat  

This episode of the PBSE Podcast (#301) centers on the question, “How does a porn/sex addict coercing his partner into acting out fantasies impact them both?” Mark and Steve begin by acknowledging the devastating reality of such coercion and the way it violates the original commitment of exclusivity and mutual respect that every relationship is meant to hold. They describe how many addicts enter marriage hiding a “secret sexual basement,” carrying unspoken behaviors and fantasies from their addiction into the relationship. This deception destroys true informed consent—the partner may think she's choosing love and safety, but what she's actually being drawn into is secrecy, distortion, and betrayal.The hosts discuss how this dynamic profoundly harms both people. The partner experiences confusion, disconnection, and trauma as she's pressured to perform or go along with things that feel unsafe or degrading, often silencing her instincts to “keep the peace.” Meanwhile, the addict becomes increasingly numb to real pleasure and intimacy, his brain rewired by fantasy to crave stimulation over connection. The more he pursues pleasure, the less he feels alive. Both individuals lose touch with their authentic selves: she through self-betrayal, he through objectification and emotional decay.Mark and Steve conclude with hope and direction. They emphasize that while innocence and trust may be lost, couples can still rebuild—but only when the addict stops the damage, seeks genuine help, and the partner reclaims her voice and boundaries. A structured therapeutic separation may be necessary to create safety and clarity, allowing each to heal individually before determining whether reconciliation is possible. Real intimacy, they affirm, can be rediscovered—not as a return to what was lost, but as the creation of something new, rooted in honesty, equality, and shared humanity.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  How Does a Porn/Sex Addict Coercing His Partner into Acting Out Fantasies, Impact Them Both?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

When addicts first get caught, most expect their partner to just move on: “I'm sorry! I quit! let's never talk about this again!” But here's the brutal truth: that mindset destroys any chance of real healing. In this raw conversation, Jay reveals what he expected Lori to just get over shortly after D-Day, and why that expectation was completely backwards. We break down: • WHY ADDICTS RESIST talking about it • The SILENT TACTICS keep partners trapped • What "PROACTIVITY" actually means in recovery • Why betrayal trauma is like still being IN COMBAT • ONE THING that would have SPED UP our healing (both partners need to hear this) • Why this is NOT BIBLICAL or healthy For addicts: If you're frustrated, she's not "over it yet," this will show you what you're actually asking her to carry. (Hint: Trust isn't something you automatically deserve.) For partners: If anyone has told you to just forgive and move on, this validates why that advice is toxic. You're not being stubborn. You're in trauma. And he needs to understand what that really means. This is about what real repair looks like versus just getting back to ‘status quo.' Because maintaining peace through silence isn't peace at all. Timestamps 00:00 Hook 00:39 Intro 01:42 How quickly did that mindset kick in for you? 04:00 Why does she keep talking about it? 06:52 Did you pressure me even silently to move on faster (or maybe not so silently)? 09:55 I didn't want to work hard. 10:45 What surprised you most about how long healing really takes? 11:35 What is the "lived out" definition of what you need? 13:58 How did learning about betrayal trauma change your expectation? 15:50 What did you need to unlearn about healing timelines to really show up for me? 18:01 What advice would you give to men who are frustrated that their wives aren't "over it" yet? 19:23 For our listeners: Did anyone tell you to "Just get over it?" 20:17 If you could go back to the beginning, what's one thing you would tell me about the pace of healing? 21:52 What Lori wished had happened. 23:36 Your silence may be costing you your peace. 24:58 Behind the Scenes -- We mentioned The Basics of Rebuilding Trust, buy it here: https://jayandloripyatt.gumroad.com/l/LzMJm To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay's porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we're using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you're seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

In this episode, we are joined by Mr. Jay, a renowned betrayal trauma practitioner, as he delves into the complexities of healing from emotional abuse and relational trauma. Mr. Jay explains what betrayal trauma is, how it differs from other traumas, and discusses its profound impact on personal identity. He emphasizes the importance of understanding and addressing past wounds alongside current pain to facilitate true healing. The conversation also explores the role of faith in the recovery process and provides practical strategies for managing triggers and rebuilding trust. Mr. Jay's unique combination of professional expertise and a faith-based approach offers invaluable insights for those on their journey to recovery.00:00 Introduction to Mr. Jay and Betrayal Trauma01:10 Defining Betrayal Trauma02:39 Personalization and Secrecy of Betrayal Trauma04:06 Impact of Betrayal Trauma on Past, Present, and Future04:58 Betrayal Trauma from Suicide and Personal Health06:09 Identity Loss and Co-Creation in Relationships08:35 Rebuilding Trust and Individualized Healing Plans11:13 Role of Faith and Spirituality in Healing12:00 Forgiveness and Self-Love15:04 Challenges in Forgiving the Impact18:47 Willingness to Repair and Rebuild23:48 Patterns of Behavior and Trust25:02 Creating Your Soulmate After Betrayal25:40 Personal Story of Trauma and Healing27:09 Discovering Betrayal Trauma28:56 Challenges in Betrayal Trauma Therapy36:53 Signs of Genuine Effort in Healing37:55 Coping Mechanisms for Triggers44:47 Final Messages of Hope and EncouragementTo learn more about today's guest, Mr. Jay, visit:MRJAYRelationshipCoach.comTo learn more about the host, Deborah Ashway, LCMHCS, LCAS, visit:InnerSourceTherapy.com

Ready to heal and trust again? Book your call: https://cal.com/jordan-apodaca/infidelity-recovery-free-strategy-call Discover the intense emotional and psychological effects of infidelity and how betrayal trauma triggers persistent intrusive thoughts. This video delves into different types of intrusive thoughts such as visual flashbacks, comparative obsessions, replay loops, catastrophic projections, and self-attacks. Learn about the brain's threat detection system and the importance of grounding techniques and present-moment awareness for managing these thoughts. Understand the necessity of discerning between trauma responses and current red flags, and the steps towards active healing to achieve freedom from these thoughts. A guide to recognizing, processing, and overcoming the profound impact of infidelity on your mental wellbeing. 00:00 The Aftermath of Infidelity 01:41 Understanding Intrusive Thoughts 04:15 Coping Strategies for Intrusive Thoughts 06:42 Healing and Moving Forward Free course, The Infidelity Recovery First Aid Kit: https://jordanapodaca.gumroad.com/l/infidelity-recovery-first-aid-kit Success Stories and More Resources: https://jordanapodaca.com/ If you're struggling with the pain of infidelity, you don't have to go through this alone. I help people heal from betrayal and open their hearts to love again in as little as one session—even if you think you'll never trust again. Book your call today and discover how you can: - Break free from intrusive thoughts - Stop feeling worthless - Learn to trust again - Build stronger relationships than ever before Don't waste months or years trying to heal on your own. Take the first step toward transformation now: https://cal.com/jordan-apodaca/infidelity-recovery-free-strategy-call --------------------------------------------------------------------- • Educational Purpose Only: Our courses and services are for educational purposes only and are not certification programs or recognized by any professional boards. • Not Medical/Therapeutic: Hypnosis and coaching services are not substitutes for professional therapy or medical treatment. If under care of a mental health professional, inform them before participating. • No Guarantees: We make no guarantees regarding results, outcomes, or income potential from our programs. • Your Responsibility: You are solely responsible for your implementation of techniques learned, compliance with applicable laws, and any results with clients. • No Refunds: We do not offer refunds except as required by law. • Lifetime Access: Includes all future updates to the program for as long as it exists. • Intellectual Property: All materials are property of JJA Consulting LLC and may not be shared or distributed. • Code of Conduct: We reserve the right to remove disruptive participants without refund. By purchasing our products or services, you agree to these full terms: https://jjaconsultingllcterms.carrd.co/ JJA Consulting LLC | info@jordanapodaca.com _ To your success! Jordan Keywords: healing from infidelity, infidelity recovery, betrayal trauma, cheating, relationships, trust again, infidelity, relationship advice, heartbreak, healing, betrayed, narcissistic abuse, divorce, marriage, therapy, narcissist, toxic relationships, self worth, healing journey, cheating spouse, affairs, narcissism, trauma, toxic relationship, breakup, love again, moving on, healing journey, recovery, personal growth, affair recovery, trust issues, relationship healing, marriage problems, emotional healing, infidelity support, relationship trauma, rebuilding trust, healing from betrayal, relationship counseling, surviving infidelity, trust building, relationship repair, marriage counseling, affair help, relationship recovery, betrayal recovery, emotional abuse, trust restoration, marriage advice, healing after cheating, relationship trust, marriage healing, overcoming infidelity, affair trauma, relationship rebuilding, marriage recovery, healing from narcissist, relationship help, finding love again, trust in relationships, healing broken trust, relationship wisdom, marriage transformation, affair support, relationship transformation. Subscribe to The Infidelity Recovery Podcast on Soundwise

Betrayal trauma can hit like an emotional wrecking ball—shattering trust, shaking relationships, and leaving you doubting yourself. But healing is possible. In this powerful episode, I sit down with betrayal trauma expert Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Institute, to explore the process of moving from heartbreak to healing. We'll talk about the step-by-step journey of recovery, what transformation really looks like, and how to turn pain into personal power. Whether your experience comes from infidelity, addiction, or other forms of deception, this conversation offers the tools and insights you need to start rebuilding your life.

With your co-hostesses: Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com  and special guest, Cat Etherington, nakedtruthproject.com Support HFW through a donation Listen now: Our guest-rockstar, Cat Etherington is with us as we dive into our next discussion. Today we're leaning into a tender but important conversation: the impact of betrayal—and how culture makes that even more complicated. Because betrayal doesn't happen in a vacuum. It collides with family expectations, faith communities, cultural norms, and even those unspoken rules we grew up with about what we ‘should' feel, behave, or forgive.  So in this episode, we're going to talk about how cultural layers can influence healing from the impact of betrayal trauma. We Will be Discussing: What are some cultural complexities betrayed women might navigate? Where have we seen this played out? Resources mentioned in this show: Naked Truth Project

Episode 300 highlights the raw submission of a betrayed partner struggling with a husband who pressures her sexually despite her clear “not yet.” He gawked, grabbed, and dismissed her boundaries while excusing his behavior as a “high sex drive.” His minimization left her doubting herself, wondering if she was the problem. This dynamic illustrates how gaslighting erodes self-trust and places partners in a painful double bind: desiring genuine intimacy but being bombarded by objectification and entitlement.We define the difference between healthy touch and hyper-sexualization. Healthy touch always begins with safety and consent; it grows out of affection, connection, and respect. Hyper-sexualization, by contrast, is compulsive and dismissive of boundaries, reducing a partner to body parts and creating an environment of pressure and fear. True intimacy is never about entitlement—it's about connection, balance, and honoring the partner's voice.For betrayed partners, the call is to trust your body, your instincts, and your discomfort—it is valid and it is telling you something. For porn/sex addicts as well as partners with a sexual entitlement mindset and behaviors, the message is equally clear: recovery cannot be paused, trauma is not a free pass, and love means relinquishing control and honoring boundaries. Healing is possible, but it begins when both partners reject coercion and embrace the hard work of building safety first.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  When Touch Feels Like Pressure:  Breaking Free from Over-Sexualization Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In this episode, I welcome back Tammy Gustafson, a licensed counselor and betrayal trauma coach, to explore two really tough situations wives face after sexual betrayal: the “roommate scenario,” where the husband isn't working on recovery, and “incomplete recovery,” where progress is inconsistent. Tammy shares heartfelt advice on setting boundaries, focusing on self-care, and shifting attention from the husband's actions to the wife's own healing. We discuss the importance of deep character change, not just behavior, and offer practical steps for finding support and reclaiming joy. If you can resonate with either (or both) of these scenarios, we want you to know that healing and thriving are possible, even in the midst of these challenging recovery circumstances.To learn more about Tammy and her resources, visit BetrayalHealing.com. Topics Covered in this Episode:Discussion of the "roommate scenario" where a wife remains in a marriage despite her husband's lack of commitment to recovery.Emotional challenges faced by wives in limbo due to financial dependence, children, or personal beliefs against divorce.Importance of establishing healthy boundaries and focusing on self-care for emotional well-being.The concept of "incomplete recovery," where the husband shows some effort but remains inconsistent, causing confusion and pain for the wife.The emotional toll of navigating uncertainty and mixed signals in the recovery process.Distinction between sobriety and deeper character transformation necessary for true healing.Encouragement for wives to set high expectations for their husband's recovery, looking for genuine changes in behavior and character.The role of curiosity and new language from husbands as indicators of real progress in recovery.Practical advice for wives on maintaining clarity, protecting their hearts, and seeking support from safe individuals.Resources and support available for women dealing with betrayal and navigating their healing journey.More Resources:Betrayal Healing Coaching with TammyWives Care Groups for Betrayal Trauma HealingBasics Webinar for WivesRelated Podcasts:The Need for Safety in Betrayal Trauma HealingIdentifying and Meeting Needs in a Betrayed WifeThe Recovery Process for Couples----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

With your co-hostesses: Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com and special guest host: Cat Etherington from nakedtruthproject.com Support HFW through a donation Listen now: We are continuing our discussion with Cat Etherington around, “Parenting Lessons from the Trenches.”  We Will be Discussing: How do we repair and apologize (practical tools)? What hope can we leave our listeners? Resources mentioned in this show: Naked Truth Project Parenting Resources

In this episode (#299), Mark and Steve respond to a betrayed partner's story of exhaustion after five years of broken promises from her addict spouse. Despite his grand gestures—weekly check-ins, new hobbies, and podcast listening—he repeatedly relapses and becomes defensive when confronted. This cycle leaves her hyper-vigilant, carrying the weight of the household, and feeling unseen and dismissed. The hosts emphasize that her pain and misery are valid and reflect the natural toll of betrayal trauma.From the addict perspective, they explore why big gestures rarely last: they are usually attempts at damage control rather than authentic recovery. Addicts often react with defensiveness and irritability, avoiding accountability because of shame, fear, and resistance to change. This defensiveness poisons intimacy, keeping the relationship stuck in a pattern of false starts and inevitable disappointment.The path forward lies not in more monitoring or empty promises, but in authentic change. For partners, that means setting clear boundaries that reclaim agency and stop enabling the cycle. For addicts, it requires leaving behind reactivity and committing to proactive, consistent recovery practices. Healing is possible, but only when both partners step out of the destructive cycle and choose honesty, vulnerability, and daily integrity over grand but fleeting gestures.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   Big Gestures, Broken Trust—Living in the Cycle of Empty CommitmentsLearn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Jay explains many deception tactics he used to hide his addiction. From robotic denials to fake confusion, playing dumb to calculated outbursts, this video exposes the manipulation patterns that betrayed partners recognize but often can't prove. It also covers: -Specific moments Lori caught him using these tactics -Addicts' delusions and brain fog -Calculated timing of confessions -Partial truths If you're a betrayed partner questioning your sanity or an addict wondering how long your tactics will work, this conversation will open your eyes. The lies addicts think are CLEVER are actually TRANSPARENT—and prolonging deception only makes healing harder for everyone. Timestamps 00:00 Intro 01:31 What tactics did you use to lie and cover up your porn use? 02:28 Minimizing is lying 03:48 Becoming re-sensitized 05:35 Ever play dumb or fake confusion to avoid getting caught? 06:27 USED THE TRUTH to make your lies more believable? 07:54 Addicts test the waters by dripping the information out 10:03 Ever knowingly PLAYED UPON MY SYMPATHIES? 12:08 Phrases or emotion did you fake to throw me off? 13:12 Robotic lines 13:53 Using anger to hide 15:15 Ever not think too hard? 16:22 The DELUSIONAL Brain Fog* 17:18 Ever used my trauma fog or MY KINDNESS against me? 17:55 Waited me out, hoping I would forget? 20:02 What tactics did we forget? Let us know in the comments. -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Addiction - https://porniskillingme.com/contact-me/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay's porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we're using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you're seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice #betrayedwife

Healing from Betrayal: Understanding and Managing ResentmentIn this episode of 'Healing With Worth,' hosts Naomi and Marquelle dive deep into the complex emotion of resentment that often accompanies betrayal trauma. They discuss how resentment is intertwined with grief, pain, and a sense of powerlessness. The hosts emphasize the importance of acknowledging and validating these feelings, as well as setting boundaries to protect one's emotional well-being. They provide insights on processing grief, moving through emotions, and the necessity of self-care and support. Tune in to learn strategies for managing resentment and fostering a healing journey.00:00 Introduction to Healing With Worth00:50 Understanding Resentment in Betrayal Trauma02:46 The Deep Impact of Betrayal Trauma06:47 Navigating Grief and Setting Boundaries10:24 The Role of Self-Compassion and Support20:23 Creating a Plan for Healing23:31 Conclusion and Resources

When betrayal first hits, the shock is overwhelming—you feel frozen, gasping for air, and wondering if life will ever feel normal again. That's the power of trauma: it shakes your very foundation. But here's the hope—God can bring you through it. In today's episode, Lisa walks you through 5 signs you're moving from the shock of betrayal into true healing. You'll discover how to recognize emotional progress, why your brain and nervous system respond the way they do, and how biblical truth anchors you in the process. Inside, you'll learn: How to face your emotions with God instead of numbing them Why triggers lose their grip as your brain rewires for peace The shift from “betrayed wife” to your true identity in Christ How boundaries become natural and life-giving Why glimpses of hope are a sure sign of God's healing work If you've been asking, “Am I really healing, or am I still stuck in the pain?”—this episode will give you the clarity and encouragement you need.

Join us this week for a replay of one of our most popular episodes! How can you trust yourself again after betrayal? Being betrayed by a partner is traumatizing physiologically, emotionally, and mentally. When you've had this kind of blow in your life, it affects your sense of self, sense of safety, and self identity. This makes trusting yourself difficult. This is a very natural response when you've experienced betrayal, but learning to trust yourself again is the first key to healing. Join Amie Woolsey in this episode as she shares:The power of thought dumpingTools to begin to regain trust in yourselfWhat it will look and feel like when you start trusting yourself againSecure Your Spot!Worthy By Design Women's Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. This is not just for women who have been betrayed, but perfect for ALL women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join us October 14-17, 2025, and leave with strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Register Now!Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery. Register here to get the webinar link. View past webinars here: Believing in You - In this program Amie teaches you how to work WITH your brain instead of against it. Learn tools that will help you move forward to trust, love, empowerment, and finding joy once again.Intimacy Within ⁠- Creating healthy intimacy with your partner begins with creating healthy intimacy within. Amie's self-paced course and guidebook will walk you through the seven levels of intimacy. Learn how to embrace authenticity and vulnerability even in the face of potential rejection.⁠⁠Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Luke Gordon hosts a podcast geared toward helping men live authentically.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal.  Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives. Healing Hearts - For couples seeking healing after betrayal.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Beyond the Facade: Men's Healing Group - We help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn how to know if you are ready to date again and what a healthy relationship looks like. Should I Stay or Go? - Self-paced course designed to be a companion on your journey toward self-discovery and personal empowerment. Trauma Trigger Kit - Keep a Trauma Trigger Kit on hand to help you use your five senses to stay grounded and connected to yourself.

With your co-hostesses: Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com and special guest host: Cat Etherington from nakedtruthproject.com Support HFW through a donation Listen now: Today, Cat Etherington is helping us dive into a topic “Parenting Lessons from the Trenches,” how do you show up as an attuned and emotionally regulated mama when you feel like you're living in an episode of the walking dead –  you're not thriving, you're surviving. Survival parenting isn't perfect parenting, but it's still parenting. You're not alone, and you're not failing. You're human, and you're doing your best in really tough circumstances. We Will be Discussing: 1. What is one of your worst parenting moments when parenting out of survival? 2. What is one of your parenting wins in spite of parenting out of survival?

In Episode 297, Mark & Steve respond to a heart-felt submission by a porn/sex addict in active recovery. He describes an ongoing situation that is very difficult for his betrayed partner and shows a great deal of genuine concern for her. Here's the issue—compliments by friends, family and others, aimed at an addict in recovery, can create painful triggers for betrayed partners, who know both the admirable qualities others see and the secret story of betrayal they carry. For partners, hearing “he's such a great guy” can feel invalidating and isolating, as if the hidden wounds don't matter. They may wonder if they are the problem for feeling hurt, and at times, even face gaslighting from addicts who deflect or minimize their concerns.The tension lies in the gap between public image and private reality. Using the metaphor of a “secret sexual basement,” we see how the addict's public face often draws praise while the partner alone carries knowledge of the hidden side. Navigating this dynamic requires careful balance—between authenticity and discretion, between validating the partner's pain and protecting privacy, and between acknowledging progress while still honoring past harm.Ultimately, recovery means choosing empathy and proactivity. Addicts can lead by checking in with their partners after triggering moments, acknowledging how compliments might sting, and creating space for open dialogue. Couples together can decide what level of transparency feels safe, remembering that disclosure is not a solo act but a shared journey. When both partners embrace authenticity with compassion, they can integrate the painful past with a healthier present and move forward stronger together.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  Everyone Thinks He's Great . . .  But They Don't Know the Whole Story!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

When a partner reaches the heartbreaking point of saying, “I love him, but I feel I'm losing myself,” the question of staying or leaving becomes urgent. After 21 years of repeated betrayal, secrecy, and broken promises, one woman wonders how long she can endure the cycle. This PBSE episode (#296) unpacks that struggle, emphasizing that being lured back by charm is not weakness but love—and also highlighting how charm without change is manipulation and emotional abuse.We examine the addict's cycle of secrecy, discovery, promises, and relapse, and show how it traps both partners in a destructive spin. From the partner's perspective, the cost of staying has shifted from compromise to self-abandonment. Using analogies like a failing business merger or an overdrawn bank account, we frame the critical question: at what point does loyalty become losing yourself? The markers include lack of honesty, no accountability, and the erasure of authentic identity.Ultimately, partners must find clarity through boundaries, safe support, and honest reflection. Journaling, support groups, and evaluating whether growth or disappearance defines the relationship can provide direction. While ending a marriage is always a tragedy, the greater tragedy is staying in one where you are erased. The message is clear: you are worth safety, truth, and love—whether inside this relationship or beyond it.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   When Loving Him Means Losing Me—Do I Stay or Go?!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Send us a textHow many times have you forced yourself to stay in a job, a relationship, or even a “healing” practice that secretly drained your soul? In this unapologetic episode of The Dimple Bindra Show, we're exposing the truth about why women push themselves into toxic cycles that don't feel good, and how to finally break free.If you've ever felt the weight of burnout, betrayal trauma, toxic love, or emotional abuse, this conversation will hit home. You'll discover why exhaustion isn't weakness, it's your body screaming for freedom. Your intuition, your feminine energy, and your truth are the medicine you've been waiting for.Here's what you'll learn inside this no-BS, healing-from-the-inside-out episode:Why “should” is the most dangerous word in your vocabularyHow forcing yourself to perform is actually self-abandonmentThe hidden ways your body has been protecting you all alongClear signs that your job, relationship, or healing journey is out of alignmentA grounding exercise to get radically honest about what you've been forcingSoul-level declarations to reclaim your truth, power, and embodimentThis isn't another motivational pep talk. This is a wake-up call for your nervous system. If you've been faking smiles through burnout, staying silent in toxic relationships, or numbing yourself with “spiritual to-do lists,” this episode is your permission slip to stop performing and start living in alignment with who you really are.✨ Not sure why you keep sabotaging your healing or staying stuck in survival mode? Take my free Healing Archetype Quiz to uncover the hidden pattern blocking your power and discover how to rise as the woman you were born to be.✨ Take the free Healing Archetype Quiz

Are you resentful that you're the one doing all the healing work after betrayal? It feels unfair—you didn't cause the affair or the lies, yet you're left carrying the heavy weight of betrayal trauma. In this episode of Beauty Beyond Betrayal, Lisa unpacks why healing, as unjust as it feels, is still your choice, your responsibility, and your gift to yourself. You'll discover 3 powerful steps to move out of resentment and step into healing, freedom, and hope. Learn how to shift your mindset from “Why me?” to “What now?”, reclaim your daily power through practical tools, and release resentment through biblical truth. If you're ready to break free from bitterness and step into God's restoration, this episode is for you.

Have you ever tried to explain betrayal trauma to a therapist, pastor, family member, or friend—only to be met with blank stares, clichés, or advice that left you feeling even more alone? You're not crazy, and you're not overreacting. Betrayal trauma is real, and in this episode of Beauty Beyond Betrayal, I'll give you the exact language to help others finally understand. You'll discover: 3 powerful ways to explain what betrayal trauma really is How betrayal trauma impacts your body, mind, and spirit 3 specific things you can share about what you need in order to heal If you've ever felt unseen or unheard in your pain, this episode will give you clarity, confidence, and hope as you invite others into your healing journey. And if you're ready to go deeper, my 7 Pillars of Healing from Betrayal Trauma program is designed to help you move from shattered to restored—step by step, God's way. Don't wait to begin your healing. :: NEXT STEPS: Beauty Beyond Betrayal Website:  www.beautybeyondbetrayal.org  Work with Lisa:  Coaching Information Schedule your MARRIAGE REDESIGNED FREE CONSULT  Join our Beauty Beyond Betrayal Sisterhood:   Healing from an affair: Heartbreak Recovery for Christian Women Grab your Free Ebook:   Broken Vows: Begin healing from the devastation of betrayal Email:   info@lisalimehouse.com Got a question you want answered?  ASK HERE  

Delanie Fischer is joined by Dr. Tara—Tenured Professor of Relational and Sexual Communication and Quantitative Research at California State University Fullerton, TV Sexpert on Celebs Go Dating, and Co-Host of the iconic radio show Loveline—to unpack the “whys” behind infidelity. Dr. Tara shares the 3 main reasons people cheat, how to begin healing from betrayal, and what to consider for creating healthier relationship dynamics.Plus:+ 2 Sexual Health Myths Debunked+ Serial Cheaters vs. Serial Monogamists+ A Breakdown of Catastrophe TheoryMore episodes related to this topic:When My Husband Came Out: Sexuality, Betrayal, and Healing with Jessica Frew: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/229e6642/when-my-husband-came-out-sexuality-betrayal-and-healing-with-jessica-frewMeeting Your Soulmate (While Married) and Breaking Free From "Good Girl" Conditioning with Amber Rae: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/21afaab6/meeting-your-soulmate-while-married-and-breaking-free-from-good-girl-conditioning-with-amber-raeDiagnosed Narcissist (Lee Hammock) and Clinical Psychologist (Dr. Ramani) Offer Insights Into Manipulation And Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/241deda3/diagnosed-narcissist-lee-hammock-and-clinical-psychologist-dr-ramani-offer-insights-into-manipulation-and-narcissistic-personality-disorder-npdDeceptive Affection, Betrayal Trauma, and Multidimensional Healing with Támara Hill: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24cc8b07/deceptive-affection-betrayal-trauma-and-multidimensional-healing-with-tamara-hillYour Burning Relationship Questions Answered with Rachel DeAlto: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/3f1ddb9c/your-burning-relationship-questions-answered-with-rachel-dealtoIs It Porn Addiction? Inside the Impact, Neuroscience, and Recovery with Steve Moore and Mark Kastleman: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2230ec70/is-it-porn-addiction-inside-the-impact-neuroscience-and-recovery-with-steve-moore-and-mark-kastlemanSelf-Helpless on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelplessYour Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.