Podcasts about Betrayal trauma

Betrayal doesn't just hurt—it changes how you attach, trust, and feel safe.Dr. Laney Knowlton (LMFT-S, CSAT-S, CPTT-S, CCPS, CST, CCRDS-S, RAE) joins Amie and Alana and explains how betrayal trauma impacts attachment styles, why disorganized attachment is so common after infidelity, and how healing can happen even if your relationship doesn't survive.If you've ever wondered “Am I broken forever?”—this episode is for you.Together, we unpack:Why betrayal often creates disorganized attachmentHow attachment styles shift after traumaThe difference between innocent trust and earned trustWhy healing is possible—even if your partner never changesHow recovery can lead to deeper connection, confidence, and joyConnect with Dr. Knowlton by visiting her website, checking out her worksheets, or reading her book, Healing From Betrayal, Infidelity, and Problematic Sexual Behaviors Chapters00:54 Introducing Dr. Laney Knowlton04:07 Understanding Attachment Styles09:59 Impact of Betrayal on Attachment14:06 Navigating Betrayal and Recovery17:06 Challenges in Seeking Support22:15 Understanding Normal Responses to Trauma24:46 Stages of Recovery25:08 The Role of Healthy Sexuality37:58 The Path to Self-Connection and JoyRegister Now!Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to podcast@chooserecoveryservices.com. Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Podcast geared toward helping men live authentically and in harmony with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives. Foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Beyond the Facade: Men's Healing Group - We help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You'll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Amie Woolsey hosts this workshop which teaches you how to date yourself first. Learn how to know if you are ready to date again and what a healthy relationship looks like. Should I Stay or Go? - Self-paced course designed to be a companion on your journey toward self-discovery and personal empowerment. Trauma Trigger Kit - Triggers can come out of nowhere. Keep a Trauma Trigger Kit on hand to help you use your five senses to stay grounded and connected to yourself.Believing in You - In this program Amie teaches you how to work WITH your brain instead of against it. Learn tools that will help you move forward to trust, love, and finding joy once again.Intimacy Within ⁠- Creating healthy intimacy with your partner begins with creating healthy intimacy within. Amie's self-paced course and guidebook will walk you through the seven levels of intimacy. Learn how to embrace authenticity and vulnerability even in the face of potential rejection.

In episode #313, we address a hard but necessary truth: addicts cannot change what they refuse to see. Using two deeply moving submissions from betrayed partners, we illustrate how years of porn use, dishonesty, staggered disclosure, and fake recovery create devastating emotional, psychological, relational, and financial consequences. These stories highlight partners who are not “impatient” or “unforgiving,” but who are reaching the end of their capacity after living in chronically unsafe relationships shaped by manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abandonment.We explore how addiction in committed relationships represents a fundamental breach of contract—one in which the addict continues to benefit from a partner's love, loyalty, emotional labor, and sexual availability while secretly violating the very agreements that relationship was built upon. Drawing on clinical concepts such as Integrity Abuse and intentionally manipulated reality, we explain how chronic deception strips partners of informed consent, destabilizes their nervous systems, and forces them into hyper-vigilance, self-doubt, and long-term trauma. The damage extends beyond the relationship itself, often impairing a partner's future capacity for trust, intimacy, and connection.Finally, we issue a direct plea to addicts: face the devastation honestly and let it become the catalyst for real change. This is not about collapsing into shame, but about developing clarity, humility, and resolve. We emphasize that words, promises, and intentions are no longer enough—only consistent action, accountability, sacrifice, and transparency demonstrate true recovery. The episode closes with a sobering reminder from a listener who lost his marriage after decades of delay, underscoring the urgency of choosing change now, before the cost becomes irreversible.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   Face the Devastation You Have Heaped Upon Your Partner and then CHOOSE TO CHANGE!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

After 28 years, I finally understand the mind-pretzel logic that kept my husband stuck in addiction: "Everyone leaves because I'm fundamentally broken, so I might as well use porn. But you're NOT allowed to point out my brokenness, or YOU'RE the bad one." In this episode, we break down Jay's Plan A, B, and C - and why he never planned for the one where I could agree with him about his flaws without him exploding or expecting me to leave. The revelation that changed everything for me: Jay didn't see me as his wife. He saw me as just another level of enemy - closer than most, but still someone who would eventually use ammunition against him. This explains why it was easier for him to let me file for divorce than to let me point out a single flaw. His ego couldn't handle being seen, even by someone who loved him. For the wives watching: If you've tried the "compliment-concern-commitment" approach perfectly for months and he still attacks you, you're not crazy. He might just like to fight. Try it for six months like I did, then trust what you see. For the men watching: If you're stuck in "everyone's against me" thinking, this video shows you how to find actually trustworthy people and build real vulnerability instead of keeping everyone at arm's length as potential threats. Preemptive victimhood doesn't make you the victim. It turns you into the perpetrator. Episode referenced: "She's the Enemy" (December 15th) What we cover: -Why "thank you" wasn't enough (but "this hurts me" was too much) -The narcissistic response to having flaws pointed out -How the Three C's approach worked (and when it didn't) -"Different levels of enemies" - the mindset that blocks real connection -The college friend Jay screamed at for 2 hours -How to test if someone is actually trustworthy -Why strong emotions from your wife mean she loves you, not hates you Timestamps 00:00 Cold Open: Preemptive Victimhood Made Him the Perpetrator 00:37 The Mind-Pretzel: I'm Broken But You Can't Say It 02:44 Plan A, B, C: He Never Expected Me to Agree 04:43 Easier for Me to Leave Than for His Ego to Break 06:47 I Tried the Three C's Perfectly for Six Months (He Still Attacked) 09:43 Everybody's Different (Learning to Trust Again) 10:47 Just Different Levels of Enemies (No Real Friends) 12:03 How to Find People Who Are Actually Trustworthy 13:54 When Victimhood Turns You Into the Abuser -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay's porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we're using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you're seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries.Year-End Matching Gift Opportunity!Now through December 31, 2025 your gift will be DOUBLED, up to $71,500! Please help us reach this match in order to keep all our programs and services running strong into the New Year.Partner with us at BeBroken.org/donate.Thank you for your support!----------In this episode, I sit down with the incredible volunteer team behind the Wives Care groups, which is our eight-week online support group for wives healing from betrayal trauma. Together, we walk through the heart and structure of the program, sharing personal motivations and a week-by-week overview of what participants can expect. From emotional care and boundaries to rediscovering identity in Christ, we highlight the power of community, faith, and practical tools for healing. If you're seeking hope and connection after betrayal, this episode offers encouragement, insight, and a warm invitation to join a caring community.To learn more about the Wives Care Groups – and all our resources for wives, visit Bebroken.org/wives. Topics Covered in this Episode:Overview of the Wives Care program and its purpose in supporting wives healing from betrayal trauma.Structure and evolution of the program, including its transition from a six-week to an eight-week format.Personal motivations and experiences of the volunteer team involved in the program.Week-by-week breakdown of the program's curriculum, highlighting key themes and activities.Importance of creating a safe and confidential space for participants to share their stories.Focus on emotional care, self-regulation, and the grieving process in the early weeks.Discussion on healthy detachment, boundary-setting, and communication tools for navigating relationships post-betrayal.Emphasis on rediscovering identity in Christ and addressing the impact of betrayal on self-worth.Community building and ongoing support opportunities beyond the initial program duration.Encouragement for women to seek help and connect with others for healing and restoration.More Resources:Wives Care Basics Webinar (FREE!)40 Days of Healing for Wives (eCourse)6 Stages of Recovery for Partners of Sex AddictsRelated Podcasts:Wives Care Podcast Bundle - Betrayal Trauma HealingHelping Wives Restore Hope After Betrayal Trauma in MarriageHelping Wives Navigate the Emotional Rollercoaster of Incomplete Recovery After Betrayal Trauma----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

In today's longest episode ever, we go through the backstory of Brandi, who is a Developmental Psychology PhD and whose husband came out as transgender after years of marital dysfunction. What I love about Brandi, who I also knew in grad school, is how she owns her own contribution to this dysfunction, looking at her part through an attachment lens. Anyone who has been involved with an avoidant partner, who was lied to or cheated on, or who was in a sexless marriage that was later explained by something that could have been shared with you sooner (an affair, sexual orientation that wasn't disclosed, porn/sex addiction) will love this episode. Brandi credits her recovery and remarriage to EMDR, IFS therapy, and working on herself, but I also think her sense of humor and ability to be objective about herself and her situation played a huge part! Buckle up for this amazing episode and follow Brandi here, where you can learn all about the details of her story: https://www.tiktok.com/@brandistupicaJoin the Midlife Women's group here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drpsychmom.com/mwg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Give A Gift To The Partner You HAVE, Not The Partner You WISH You Had!"For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For coaching from DPM, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For therapy or coaching, contact us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode 312—Many couples in recovery assume that progress means focusing only on the future, but this mindset often overlooks the deep losses created by addiction and betrayal. Partners may grieve the relationship they thought they had, the years marked by deception, and the emotional safety that was taken from them without consent. When grief is minimized or avoided—often in the name of “positivity”—partners can feel unseen and pressured to suppress their pain, recreating the emotional neglect that existed during active addiction.For addicts, grieving the past is especially difficult because it requires facing accountability without collapsing into shame. Many were raised in environments where responsibility and worthlessness were intertwined, making emotional presence feel threatening. Yet intimacy cannot grow where grief is forbidden. When addicts are unable to stay present with their partner's pain, the relationship develops emotional “no-go zones,” limiting safety and connection. True recovery requires the capacity to face loss honestly, without defensiveness or avoidance.When grief is approached with empathy, timing, and emotional maturity, it becomes one of the most powerful bonding experiences a couple can share. Grieving together does not mean living in the past—it means integrating it. By acknowledging what was lost, couples create space for authenticity, trust, and deeper intimacy. Healing is not about forgetting what happened, but about facing it together so that both partners can move forward grounded in truth, compassion, and shared humanity.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  My Partner is in Recovery. Should we let the past go and move on? Is there a place for "grieving" what we have lost? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

In this episode of Healing With Worth, Marquelle and parent coach Liz Covington explore how neurodiversity can impact marriage and healing after betrayal trauma. Together, they discuss rigidity, sensory differences, emotional regulation, addiction, and how neurodivergent traits can affect intimacy and connection. This conversation offers insight, compassion, and practical perspective for women navigating recovery while in relationships with neurodiverse partners.

In this episode (#311), we respond to a vulnerable question from an addict early in recovery who wonders whether years of porn use have permanently damaged his ability to see his wife as the most attractive person in his life. He worries that neurological “chemical bonding” to porn images and body types means he will always be more attached to fantasy than to his real partner—and that his wife may be committing to a lifetime of being second-best. We affirm that pornography does significantly impact the brain, altering arousal templates and reinforcing dopamine-driven bonding to novelty and visual stimulation. However, this chemical bonding represents only one small aspect of human attachment, and the brain is both neuroplastic and capable of profound healing and expansion in recovery.We then challenge the cultural illusion that attraction is purely biological, automatic, and based solely on physical appearance. From movies to music to porn, society teaches an adolescent model of attraction that reduces human beings to bodies and chemistry and frames attraction as something that “just happens” to us. This narrow view leaves people powerless and sets relationships up to fail—especially when addiction is layered on top. In contrast, we describe attraction as a force that can be cultivated, expanded, diminished, or redirected based on what we value and where we invest our energy. Attraction grows through curiosity, presence, appreciation, and intentional engagement—not through comparison or novelty-seeking.Finally, we emphasize that the real question is not whether a partner can “compete” with porn, but whether the addict is willing to fundamentally change how they understand and practice attraction. Porn never teaches holistic attraction—it teaches consumption without connection. In recovery, addicts are invited to truly see their partner as a whole human being, appreciating not just physical appearance but character, sacrifice, shared history, and emotional depth. The prognosis for attraction is not fixed or predetermined; it is shaped by choice, maturity, and investment. When attraction is approached holistically, porn cannot compete—and many addicts find that what they feared was lost forever is something they are only just beginning to discover.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   After Years of Porn Use, Will I Ever See My Partner as the 'Most Attractive" Person in My Life?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

What if you could go back and prepare for D-Day? Not to stop the betrayal from happening, but to soften the blow, steady your nervous system, and walk yourself through the darkest night of your soul with reverence, support, and a plan. In this deeply soulful Solstice episode, Lora guides you through a powerful re-imagining of D-Day using the energy of the winter solstice — the longest, darkest night of the year. Instead of bracing against the pain of betrayal, you'll learn how to “pack your bag” for the dark night of the soul: tending your body, nervous system, and subconscious so you can move through the darkness with preparation, not panic. Drawing on childbirth metaphors, subconscious re-patterning, and the natural arc from winter solstice to summer solstice, Lora walks you step-by-step into the memory of D-Day and back out again — this time as the woman you are now: wiser, more resourced, and no longer alone. You'll leave with a six-month roadmap for healing, micro-boundaries to support your body and soul, and a new understanding of why you're not broken… you're just ready for a different map.   Top 3 Takeaways Why D-Day still hijacks your body (and how to change it) How betrayal trauma locks into the subconscious mind and nervous system, and why you can't just “decide to stop ruminating” or think your way out of it. The Winter Solstice Betrayal Ritual: Preparing for the Dark Night of the Soul How to “pretend” solstice is your D-Day, pack your metaphoric bag, and consciously walk yourself into the darkness with support, tools, and reverence — so your body learns that you can bear it and you will come out the other side. From Winter Solstice to Summer Solstice: A Six-Month Healing Map How to set micro-boundaries, tiny daily practices, and structures of accountability that quietly rewire your life over six months — so one day you look up and realize, “It's lighter now. I'm actually okay… and I'm not obsessing anymore.”   Favorite Quote “The real tragedy of betrayal isn't the betrayal itself. It's failing to rise up afterward and reclaim your heart, your soul, your identity.”   About Lora Lora Cheadle, JD, CHt is a former attorney turned betrayal recovery coach, hypnotherapist, and author who helps women rebuild their identity and reclaim their power after infidelity and profound emotional betrayal. Using her signature Life Choreography® approach, she integrates legal insight, nervous system regulation, somatic practices, and deep spiritual support to help clients move from shattered to sovereign.   Resources & Links Download the free Betrayal Recovery Guide: https://betrayalrecoveryguide.com Book your $97 Intro Session: https://introductorysession.com Learn more about Rise & Reign: https://loracheadle.com/rise-and-reign Follow on YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook @loracheadle   LOVE THE SHOW? TAKE THE NEXT STEP Don't just listen—start healing.   Download your FREE Betrayal Recovery Tool Kit and take back your power with clarity, confidence, and support that meets you where you are. ✅ Calm the chaos ✅ Rebuild self-trust ✅ Stop the spiral of second-guessing ✅ Reclaim your worth and your future

"The one I thought you were gonna say is: she's the enemy." For years, Jay didn't just lie to me about his addiction. He lied to himself about WHO I was. And those lies kept him stuck in porn for decades. The 5 lies addicts believe about their wives: She's the enemy - Anyone who sees a crack in the mask must be stopped and hushed She's gonna leave anyway - So why bother trying? Might as well do whatever I want She doesn't care about me - I'm not that important to her (justification to use) She's too angry to handle the truth - When really, he feared rejection and being alone She won't meet my expectations - Unspoken demands that turn into resentment and reasons to look elsewhere The shocking part? Jay admits: "I am an abuser, and abusers dominate. And that's what I did." He made me easy to dominate. He sufficiently shut me up. He turned me from a mirror (reflecting his behavior) into a shield (protecting him from truth). Why this matters: These beliefs aren't about you - they're about attachment issues and fear Most addicts don't even know they believe these lies The goal was never sex - it was avoiding being truly known Without consistent boundaries, addicts will keep crossing lines For partners: If he sees you as the enemy for pointing out flaws, if he believes you'll leave no matter what, if he resents you for not meeting unspoken expectations - these are the lies keeping him stuck. For addicts: Your wife could have made recovery so much easier. But your false beliefs about her became your excuse to keep using. The truth? You should have taken your needs to God, not porn. What lie did your addict believe about you? Comment below. CHAPTERS 00:00 Cold Open: "She's the Enemy" 00:31 Intro: The Lies Addicts Tell Themselves 00:51 Belief #1: You're Gonna Leave Anyway 02:20 Belief #2: She's the Enemy 03:52 Did You See Me as Too Weak or Too Angry? 06:12 The Pride and Shame Paradox 08:33 Did You Need Me or Did I Need to Fix You? 10:18 Hot Take: I'm Sick of "Power Over" People 10:29 Were You Sure I'd Never Leave? 10:42 Mirror or Shield? (How He Shut Me Up) 11:47 TRUTH: I Am an Abuser - Addicts Dominate 12:03 Did Fear of Losing Me Compete With Certainty? 13:21 It's Not About You - It's Attachment Issues 14:05 My Rock or My Reason to Use Porn? 15:31 The Truth: Unspoken Expectations Breed Resentment 16:37 What Should My Role Have Been? 17:07 The Importance of Consistent Boundaries 18:41 Questions for Viewers -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay's porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we're using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you're seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

With your co-hostesses: Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com  Temporary Hostess Amy Matters of Matterswellness.com Support HFW through a donation   Listen now: Welcome to part 2 of our discussion around betrayal trauma and what's really happening inside our bodies. Our holistic wellness expert, Amy Matters, is here with us to talk about the rest of the story. We are continuing to dive into Amy's strengths as we discuss the biology of betrayal trauma. Many think that betrayal trauma is only a mental and emotional experience. It's more than that. Betrayal trauma causes physical changes, as well. We Will be Discussing: What are some of the most overlooked biological effects of trauma that you see in your clients? How can understanding the biology of betrayal help women heal more effectively? What are some practical tips and tools for how a woman can support her mitochondria? What hope can we offer our listeners? Resources mentioned in this show: Amy Matters Holistic Functional Health Practitioner Website

This episode (#310) examines one of the most complex issues couples face after sexual betrayal: determining which details about an addict's behavior genuinely help the betrayed partner heal, and which unintentionally deepen her trauma. When discovery occurs, a partner's neurological fight-flight-freeze system activates, compelling her to search for every possible detail to regain safety. Drawing directly from Dr. Minwalla's concept of Integrity Abuse Disorder, we explain how the addict's secret sexual basement—and the manipulated reality that hides it—creates profound emotional and psychological abuse. The partner's desire for information is not curiosity; it is a survival response to having lived in a world where truth was withheld.The episode distinguishes between helpful disclosures that rebuild shared reality (timelines, behaviors, frequency, categories of sexual contact, and STI-related information) and harmful disclosures that load the partner's mind with unnecessary and intrusive content. Details like physical body features, sexual positions, explicit phrases, porn search terms, or exact locations provide no increased safety or accountability. Instead, they create trauma triggers the partner will carry into daily life for years—images that do not help her move forward and often make healing far more difficult.Because both addicts and partners are emotionally overwhelmed in the early stages of recovery, we stress the vital importance of formal therapeutic disclosure and the dangers of “trickle disclosure.” Without clinical guidance, couples often share information impulsively during moments of crisis, leading to retraumatization rather than relief. We teach addicts how to hold boundaries that protect the partner—not by hiding truth, but by committing to share everything in the safe structure of therapy. Ultimately, the article reinforces that transparency is essential and partners deserve the full truth, but truth must be delivered wisely. When done with support, honesty becomes a pathway to grounding, stability, and genuine relational rebuilding rather than a new source of trauma.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   When are Specific Details about an Addict's Behavior Helpful or Harmful for a Partner?  Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

This session from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference provides essential insights for couples navigating the complexities of relationships affected by problematic sexual behavior, including pornography addiction, emotional affairs, and compulsive behaviors. Participants will learn how relationships often begin with commitment and honesty, and how they can rupture through deception, abandonment, or abuse. Encouragement will be given to couples, offering strategies for partners to address emotional trauma and rebuild trust. With a focus on healing, communication, and professional support, this episode offers hope for recovery, even in the face of betrayal and neurodiverse challenges.Bio: Shawna, a professional certified coach, specializes in supporting women experiencing betrayal trauma, particularly those in neurodiverse marriages with autism and Asperger profiles. As the founder of Living Stones Coaching, Mentoring, and Consulting in Arizona, she authored Determined for More, reflecting their 25-year marriage journey. Kevin, also with Living Stones, mentors men struggling with problematic sexual behavior, especially those diagnosed with or considering autism (ASD1), focusing on recovery and relationship growth. Together, they offer personalized, relatable support to clients internationally, guiding couples through healing, sexual integrity, and sobriety. You can contact Shawna and Kevin at: Living StonesIf you would like to learn more about the resources Mona has available you checkout her website at: neurodiverselove.com

Crystal Hollenbeck and Dr. Rob continue their conversation about the power and purpose of triggers, the appropriate time to utilize communication skills, and each of the seven steps of the CALMING model, including handling residual anger and resentment. We often think that anger is the only option for control after betrayal, but Crystal challenges this limiting belief and offers hope to anyone who is ready to move on from an angry life.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:52] Why should I do anything? He betrayed me.  [5:42] Triggers are normal and can be helpful.  [7:27] What to expect from the leveling stage.  [13:13] The management and intuition stages of CALMING.  [20:21] Trusting your intuition after betrayal.  [25:17] The role of forgiveness in healing.  [30:41] This behavior increases the likelihood of repeat betrayal.  [32:30] Boundaries are protection, not restriction. [34:35] Grieving loss and recognizing the positives of post-traumatic growth. [43:44] Moving on after grief is possible.    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Crystal Hollenbeck Betrayal Healing Conference   Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES: “This is part of your story now. You have to talk about it.”  “I have never seen a client not be grateful for healing work, because they come in with wounds they didn't know exist.”  “Forgiveness is for you, not the person that harmed you.”  “Boundaries are protection, not restriction.” “We never stop grieving. We learn to live with grief.”

Crystal Hollenbeck has returned to the podcast to discuss a new resource for anyone who is dealing with betrayal trauma anger. She and Dr. Rob define this healthy emotion in the healing process, discuss her new book Betrayal Trauma Anger and explore anger management options available to help betrayed partners calm down and move forward.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:52] A new resource for managing anger after betrayal and trauma. [3:25] Defining betrayal trauma anger. [4:23] The motivation behind Crystal's new book. [7:01] 3 significant experiences of a betrayed partner.  [8:20] The danger of repressing anger.  [9:58] “I don't like who I've become.” Now what? [12:25] What being betrayed says about you.   [14:43] The reward in Crystal's work.  [16:10] Trauma and broken attachments.  [19:21] 7 stages of recovery with anger.  [24:01] When is enough punishment enough?  [25:13] First steps in the CALMING model.    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Crystal Hollenbeck   Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES: “You're not crazy, you're angry. And you should be.” “When you are betraying someone, you are abusing them.” “Being betrayed does not mean you are stupid or foolish.”  “You are not responsible for what your partner did. Period.”

Most men are taught to hate the part of them that struggles.What if that part isn't your enemy at all… but your protector?Buy The Book Altogether You: https://amzn.to/4rvtnexIn this groundbreaking conversation, Coach Craig sits down with trauma therapist and bestselling author Jenna Riemersma, whose book Altogether You bridges Internal Family Systems (IFS) with Christian faith in a way that is nothing short of revolutionary.Together, they expose why the traditional addiction model keeps men trapped in shame and powerlessness—and how IFS offers a radically different path to healing, integrity, and self-leadership.You'll hear:    •    Why identifying as an “addict” feels empowering at first—but eventually becomes a cage.    •    Why the part of you that acts out isn't sinful, broken, or demonic… it's protective.    •    How Christian theology and modern psychology actually reinforce each other when it comes to understanding your parts.    •    Why partners get stuck in reactive boundary cycles—and how to break them.    •    Why relationship, compassion, and self-leadership heal what shame and control never will.Craig and Jenna unpack the Core Self from two directions—psychology and Christianity—and reveal a way of operationalizing faith that most churches completely miss.If you or your spouse is struggling with pornography, unwanted sexual behavior, or betrayal trauma, this episode will fundamentally shift how you see the struggle, yourself, and each other.This is the conversation every Christian man—and every church—needs to hear.Resources and Links MentionedBuy The Book Altogether You: https://amzn.to/4rvtnexJenna's website https://movetoward.comAltogether You On Demand Workshop https://movetoward.comUse code AY15 for 15% offFree IFS guided meditations and resources Available at https://movetoward.comBook referenced in the episode Altogether You by Jenna Riemersma

In this powerful and deeply insightful conversation, we sit down with Aashita Khanna — RCI-licensed Clinical Psychologist, AASECT-trained Sex Therapist, and Founder of Kama Health India — to break down the truth about sex, intimacy, desire, anxiety, emotional safety, performance pressure, and modern relationships.If you've ever struggled with low desire, sex anxiety, shame, porn pressure, relationship stress, communication issues, confidence in bed, or a disconnect with your partner, this episode will help you understand why it happens and how to move forward with clarity and confidence.Aashita brings science-backed explanations, real therapy-room insights, and practical tools to help individuals and couples rebuild intimacy, heal emotional wounds, and create healthier, more fulfilling sexual and relational lives.This is one of the most important conversations on intimacy, mental health, and the psychology of connection you will hear in India.

When betrayal trauma enters a relationship, the question “Should I stay or should I go?” becomes unavoidable—even if it feels terrifying to consider. In this episode, Amie explores trauma-informed ways to evaluate safety, patterns, repair, and whether healing is possible inside the relationship.You'll learn why considering divorce is not the same as choosing it, how to assess real change, and how to reclaim agency, clarity, and emotional safety.Chapters02:07 The Fear and Stigma of Divorce04:36 Freedom to Consider Divorce05:54 Two Realities10:17 Impact on Children and Personal Well-Being19:44 Pattern Journaling21:01 Season of Support: Holiday Webinar Series25:21 When the Damage is Too Great27:00 Reclaiming Agency 39:40 The Cost of Staying vs. LeavingRegister Now!Should I Stay or Go? - Self-paced course designed to be a companion on your journey toward self-discovery and personal empowerment. Season of Support - Join us for a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Jan 27-30, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don't want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to podcast@chooserecoveryservices.com. Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Luke Gordon hosts a podcast geared toward helping men live authentically and in harmony with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal. Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives. Foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Healing Hearts - For couples seeking healing after betrayal. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Beyond the Facade: Men's Healing Group - We help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Workshop which teaches you how to date yourself first. Learn how to know if you are ready to date again and what a healthy relationship looks like. Trauma Trigger Kit - Triggers can come out of nowhere. Keep a Trauma Trigger Kit on hand to help you use your five senses to stay grounded and connected to yourself.Believing in You - Learn tools that will help you move forward to trust, love, empowerment, and finding joy once again.Intimacy Within ⁠- Self-paced course and guidebook will walk you through the seven levels of intimacy.

With your co-hostesses: Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com  Temporary Hostess Amy Matters of Matterswellness.com Support HFW through a donation   Listen now: Welcome to another episode of Hope For Wives, today we are so excited to introduce you to another extended guest host, Amy Matters! This is Amy's first time with us and while some people chase the spotlight, as a functional health practitioner, she is guiding others toward wholeness from the inside out. Thank you for being with us, Amy!  We are diving into Amy's strengths in this episode as we discuss the biology of betrayal trauma. Many think that betrayal trauma is only a mental and emotional experience. It's more than that. Betrayal trauma causes physical changes, as well. We Will be Discussing: What's actually happening inside the body when someone experiences betrayal trauma? Why do symptoms like brain fog, anxiety, and exhaustion show up after betrayal? How does betrayal impact hormones and the stress response system? Resources mentioned in this show: Amy Matters Holistic Functional Health Practitioner Website

In Episode 309, Mark & Steve address a PBSE listener's questions about "Integrity abuse," which is a relational pattern where one partner chronically violates core commitments—honesty, transparency, fidelity, emotional responsibility, and safety—through secrecy, deceit, manipulation, and strategic omission. Unlike overt emotional or verbal abuse, integrity abuse often operates quietly, making it harder to recognize and name. It creates a manufactured version of reality in which the betrayed partner unknowingly lives while the addict maintains a separate, hidden world of acting out. Although integrity abuse frequently accompanies addiction, it is distinct from addiction and stems from repeated choices to conceal, distort, and protect a double life.These behaviors—gaslighting, compartmentalization, minimization, rewriting history, exploiting trust, and creating a false sense of safety—form an entire system designed to avoid accountability while keeping the partner emotionally invested and off-balance. This system is often maintained for years, leading the partner to doubt her instincts, question her sanity, and internalize the blame for relational confusion she cannot fully understand. The manipulation is so subtle and sustained that partners often sense something is wrong long before they have language for it, but they are repeatedly led to believe the problem lies within themselves.When the truth is finally revealed, the impact on the partner is profound: identity collapse, reality collapse, hypervigilance, panic, sexual shutdown, emotional isolation, and deep attachment injury. She realizes she has not only been betrayed but has been living inside a fabricated version of her relationship. Naming integrity abuse gives betrayed partners validation and helps addicts grasp the full extent of the harm caused—not just through acting out, but through the systemic erosion of safety and truth. This clarity becomes the foundation for authentic recovery, real accountability, and the rebuilding of trust based on transparency rather than illusion.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  What is "Integrity Abuse" and How does it Impact the Betrayed Partner?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

How did Jay pretend to change when he really hadn't? In this episode, Lori asks 11 HARD QUESTIONS to uncover the difference between performing recovery and experiencing true, internal transformation. Jay answers honestly about the exhausting cycle of surface-level change: • REHEARSING the "right" answers just to get Lori "off his back" and his prayers becoming "robotic". • How he engaged in "SPIRITUAL OLYMPICS” to throw everyone off—including himself. • The SHOCKING moment a coach uncovered his core, entitled belief about his PURPOSE IN LIFE. • The "Armchair Meeting of Needs" tactic he used in order to think he had changed. • How he traded his shovel for a "backhoe" to finally GO DEEPER INTO TRANSFORMATION. This episode is a must-watch for anyone struggling to BREAK THE CYCLE where one partner performs change without true, internal motivation. Timestamps 00:00 Rehearsed Answers & Entertainment Confession 00:40 How Did You Pretend to Change? 01:26 Were You Really Close to God? 02:26 What Signs Did You Perform? 05:52 Did You Rehearse Answers to Get Me Off Your Back? 07:27 What Made You Feel Proud (But Wasn't Real)? 08:28 Armchair Meeting of Needs 09:03 Were Recovery Efforts Just Buying Time? 10:05 How Did You Hide That Change Wasn't Internal? 10:53 What If Someone Had Taught You Real Tools? 12:53 What Were You Unwilling to Give Up? 13:50 "My Purpose Is to Be Entertained" 15:07 Did Pretending Become More Exhausting? 16:48 Did You Know You Weren't Really Changing? 19:29 What Would You Have Said If Honest? 22:15 Questions for Viewers + Next Episode -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay's porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we're using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you're seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice #spiritualbypassing #recoverytools #copingmechanisms

Send us a textYour body can't tell the difference between a bear on the trail and a betrayal in your home—and that's why anxiety feels like a siren you can't shut off. We go deep on how the nervous system reacts to infidelity, why depression can masquerade as “laziness,” and how to stop making big life decisions while your brain is in threat mode. Instead of chasing certainty with phone checks and late-night spirals, we unpack a calmer path: regulate first, decide second.We share a clear framework for separating intuition from anxiety. Anxiety is loud, urgent, and catastrophic; intuition is quiet, steady, and specific. You'll learn simple, repeatable practices to create safety in your body—guided breath paired with a vivid safe-place image, hand-on-heart grounding, movement and shaking to release stuck emotion, ragdoll resets, sunlight and bare feet on grass, and even a splash of cold water to nudge your system back to balance. These tools help you break hypervigilant loops and pull out of shutdown so you can hear your own voice again.Along the way, Jen opens up about “functional freeze,” raising kids while numb, and the moment she realized nothing was wrong with her—she was living with betrayal trauma. That insight reshaped her approach: you can't think your way out of betrayal; you have to feel it to heal it. With practice, the alarm quiets, clarity returns, and choices become wiser. You are not broken. Your reactions make sense, and with the right support you can rebuild safety, reclaim agency, and create a future that feels calm, sturdy, and yours.If this resonates, follow and share the show. Leave a review to help others find these tools, and connect with us to take the next step in your healing journey.Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: hello@lifecoachjen.com for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com

This episode (#308) focuses on a partner whose body has completely shut down sexually after decades of betrayal, manipulation, and sexual violation—including being touched while unconscious. We explain how her body has not suddenly changed since disclosure; it has been adapting for years to a marriage that was unsafe long before she understood why. This long-term exposure to deception and boundary-breaking creates what we call “complex trauma shaping,” where the nervous system rewires itself to avoid sexual intimacy because it associates vulnerability with danger.We also dive deeply into the concept of Integrity Abuse Disorder and how the husband's years of secrecy, gaslighting, and emotional inconsistency created an “intentionally manipulated reality” for his wife. Even though he may now be in recovery, his emotional reactions—his “sad tantrums”—trigger her old trauma and reinforce the message that he values sexual access more than her emotional safety. This dynamic retraumatizes her and deepens her shutdown, proving to her body that intimacy remains unsafe.Healing requires him to take responsibility for the full impact of his actions by engaging in what Dr. Minwalla calls “mountain work”—seeing the complete devastation the betrayal caused. Only then can he show up with true empathy, accountability, and emotional regulation. For her, healing means continuing to listen to her body, honoring its wisdom, and working with professionals to slowly rebuild safety. When both partners engage in this work, intimacy can eventually be rebuilt—not through pressure or obligation, but through genuine safety, trust, and connection.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   Why My Body Shuts Down:  Understanding Sexual Trauma Responses After Years of BetrayalLearn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

In this episode, I sit down with Lora Cheadle, former attorney turned betrayal recovery coach, somatic therapist, intuitive channel, and author of FLAUNT! and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal.And this conversation goes everywhere: infidelity, identity collapse, somatic grief, self-abandonment, the gift inside the rupture, spiritual downloads, sacred travel, Egypt codes, plant medicine, and the radical art of rebuilding your truth from the inside out.Lora shares the story of discovering her husband's 15-year, multi-partner affair… and how it became the catalyst for BOTH of them to dismantle old identities, release generational trauma, and rebuild a marriage on truth instead of performance.Timestamps:00:00 – What's turning Lora on in life 01:05 – Expectation vs. desire: how your inner state shapes your reality 03:00 – Lora's transition from attorney → burnout → betrayal coach 04:20 – The moment she discovered a 15-year affair 05:30 – Rebuilding identity after betrayal & staying in the marriage 06:30 – The REAL first steps after discovering infidelity 07:50 – Blame, shame, shock, & why you must stop before you act 08:40 – Self-betrayal, “good girl” conditioning & performance mode 09:40 – Knowing something vs. embodying it 11:55 – Reawakening intuition, somatics, & energy healing13:30 – Did we choose our lessons? The game board of life 14:20 – The Librarians: Lora's channeled guides & Akashic lessons 16:00 – Understanding your soul story like a TV series 17:20 – Co-creating your reality with cosmic free will 19:00 – The gifts inside betrayal (for both partners) 22:00 – Rebuilding authentic relationships without the masks 23:40 – The FLAUNT! Framework (Find your Fetish → Trust your Truth) 26:00 – How to accept unconditionally without sacrificing yourself 27:20 – Navigating the non-linear nature of healing 28:30 – Dark night of the ego vs dark night of the soul 29:30 – How to rebuild self-trust after collapse31:45 – Creating spaciousness to receive guidance 33:00 – Letting yourself evolve + writing in cycles38:40 – Sacred travel: Egypt, Sekhmet, Dendera & receiving codes 40:20 – Mystical experiences + light language activation 43:00 – Plant medicine journeys (San Pedro) & consciousness work 45:00 – Meditation styles for ADHD, anxious, or embodied minds 46:20 – Holding compassion when you've been the betrayer too 47:30 – What is truly “profane”? 48:15 – Life as an experiment + playing with the messinessConnect with Lora: Website - https://loracheadle.com/Download Lora's Betrayal Recovery Guide: betrayalrecoveryguide.comConnect with Kristin:WebsiteInstagramYouTube Kristin's Best-Selling Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sex, Drugs, & Soul on Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Audiobook Link⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to the Podcast:YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For 10% off pleasure goodies at WAANDS, use code SEXDRUGSSOUL.

Is betrayal trauma real trauma? Absolutely. In this episode, Lisa breaks down the key differences between betrayal trauma and classic PTSD, and why the wounds of infidelity reach far beyond emotional pain. You'll discover how betrayal affects the brain, body, and nervous system, and why healing from relational trauma requires a faith-based, trauma-informed approach rooted in both neuroscience and biblical truth. If you've ever wondered why you can't “just move on,” or why your body still reacts to the person who hurt you, this episode will bring clarity, compassion, and hope. Learn how to begin regulating your nervous system, reconnect with God, and rebuild trust the right way. :: NEXT STEPS: MARRIAGE REDESIGNED PROGRAM  Schedule your MARRIAGE REDESIGNED FREE CONSULT  Join our Beauty Beyond Betrayal Sisterhood:   Healing from an affair: Heartbreak Recovery for Christian Women Grab your Free Ebook:   Broken Vows: Begin healing from the devastation of betrayal Email:   info@lisalimehouse.com WEBSITE:  www.lisalimehouse.com Got a question you want answered?  ASK HERE  

Traditional marriage counseling can actually make things worse after infidelity — but trauma-informed, Christ-centered couples therapy can transform your marriage from brokenness to breakthrough. In this episode, Lisa explains why the wrong kind of therapy can re-traumatize the betrayed spouse, and how to find the right kind of help that honors your faith and your healing journey. Learn how her Marriage Redesigned program helps couples re-establish safety, rebuild empathy, and restore intimacy through biblical truth and trauma-informed care. :: NEXT STEPS: MARRIAGE REDESIGNED PROGRAM  Schedule your MARRIAGE REDESIGNED FREE CONSULT  Join our Beauty Beyond Betrayal Sisterhood:   Healing from an affair: Heartbreak Recovery for Christian Women Grab your Free Ebook:   Broken Vows: Begin healing from the devastation of betrayal Email:   info@lisalimehouse.com WEBSITE:  www.lisalimehouse.com Got a question you want answered?  ASK HERE

In episode 307, Mark & Steve respond to an all-too-common history and situation submitted by a betrayed partner. Healthy sexual intimacy after betrayal cannot simply return to what it once was; it must be rebuilt on a new foundation of authenticity and safety. Because pornography shapes the brain and rewires arousal patterns, couples often find themselves questioning what's real, what's healthy, and whether desire is rooted in connection or in old fantasy. Many partners struggle to trust, and many addicts struggle to trust themselves, creating a complex emotional landscape that must be navigated with care. This healing begins by evaluating intention and headspace—asking not what partners want to do sexually, but why they want to do it and what meaning it carries.From there, intimacy must be rebuilt through trust and transparency. Couples need to be able to talk openly about sexual preferences, fears, boundaries, and emotional needs before engaging physically. Silence or lack of objection is not consent; safety must be mutual, expressed, and explicit. Boundaries should be set outside of arousal states, and couples may need to slow down significantly—sometimes even stepping back to basics like hand-holding or non-sexual touch—while they rebuild a foundation that can hold the weight of deeper connection.Ultimately, recovering sexual intimacy after sexual toxicity is an evolving journey, not an achievement. It requires vulnerability, patience, and willingness to explore together rather than perform or comply. When couples move intentionally through this process—anchoring their sexuality in meaning, emotional presence, collaboration, and shared values—they often find themselves creating a sexual connection that is deeper and healthier than anything they experienced before recovery.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   How Do We Discover/Recover Healthy Sexual Intimacy After Sexual Toxicity and Betrayal?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

David and Sherie continue talking about betrayal trauma and the pendulum swing that can happen as we're doing our best to navigate the hurt that occurs with partner betrayal. We need to consider the reasons behind behavior and separate the person from the pattern, having grace for the reasons behind the behavior while also protecting ourself. Listen to learn more!

I have that photograph of Christmas. That kid saw so many possibilities. I think he would've looked at me and said: wait, you're 38 years older than me and you're still doing the same stuff I'm doing? That sucks." This might be the most heartbreaking conversation we've ever recorded. Jay looks back at 11 moments when his heart hardened - and the younger version of himself that got left behind. What you'll discover: • The progression: soft → hard → soft → really hard (how hearts harden and soften over years) • "I had to shut myself down to what lying was doing to her" (the only way to keep lying) • When spiritual language disguises emotional death ("I'm at peace" but couldn't define peace) • The situations that should have broken him but didn't (grandfather's death, divorce, losing his career) • "He had sufficiently shut me up" (how addicts train themselves to stop reacting to pain) • Why his internal world became "really tiny" (addiction closes you down to just the screen) • Narcotics Anonymous Step 3: "We no longer have a conscience" (aggressively pursuing what we want) • The younger self question that gutted him (what would that hopeful kid think?) For partners: This explains why he seems emotionally flat, why your pain doesn't register, why spiritual words feel hollow. You're watching someone whose heart has hardened layer by layer. For addicts: Can you see it happening? The pattern of harden → soften → harden deeper? The moments you chose impulse over conscience? The kid you used to be is still in there. Plus: The difference between acceptance and resignation (one has peace, the other has anger and self-pity). CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro: Powerful clips (younger self, shut her up, no conscience) 01:23 Can you see your heart hardening over the years? 02:41 Did your heart harden spiritually, not just toward me? 03:22 What led you back to porn after 6 months sober in college? 04:51 Beyond anxiety - what other feelings drove you back? 05:09 When did your emotional responses become muted or automatic? 05:45 "I should be feeling something right now, but I don't" 07:43 Did you interpret numbness as maturity or strength? 08:11 How did you train yourself to stop reacting to my pain? 09:39 What situations should have broken you but didn't? 10:45 Did spiritual language disguise your emotional hardening? 12:32 Did your internal world feel smaller and flatter over time? 13:11 When God told you to stop, you consciously chose your own way 15:48 What would your younger self think of who you became? 17:26 Question for viewers: Have you watched someone grow cold? -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay's porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we're using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you're seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

Infidelity doesn't just destroy trust in the present — it rewrites your past and makes you question everything you thought was real.In this video, I respond to a man who discovered that his wife cheated years ago… and now her old lover has confessed everything. What happens when your entire marriage suddenly looks like a lie? What do you do when the woman you trusted most betrays you — and your gut told you the truth all along?If you've been through betrayal or are struggling to move forward, you're not alone. This video will help you understand:Why infidelity destroys your sense of realityHow shame stops men from trusting their instinctsWhat to do when you find out years laterHow to rebuild your self-worth and identity

Dr. Jessica Lamar, Licensed Mental Health Therapist, explores unseen wounds and understanding disenfranchised grief and betrayal trauma. What is disenfranchised grief, and why does it matter? Dr. Lamar overs betrayal trauma, emotional and psychological impact, healing, and support strategies. She and Tami then answer participant questions about grief and boundaries, conversations and resources that are available to help navigate grief.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Intro. [2:58] Defining ambiguous loss – am I even in grief?  [4:40] Disenfranchised grief is a loss that is not openly acknowledged, socially validated or publicly mourned.  [6:02] Examples of disenfranchised grief as it relates to betrayal trauma. [11:30] Ambiguous losses that are associated with betrayal trauma.  [13:56] When betrayal occurs, the resulting grief is often disenfranchised.  [15:47] Statements that are commonly heard in disenfranchised grief.  [18:36] The psychological and emotional impact of disenfranchised grief.  [24:12] Strategies for empowering ourselves after loss.  [27:34] Common ways we invalidate grief after betrayal. [29:45] How can I validate myself in my grief?  [37:04] Interventions to help navigate disenfranchised grief.  [41:35] What resources are available to better understand and process grief.  [44:20] What dialog can we use to better communicate with extended family members who will not allow space for grief?  [47:35] How can I navigate anticipatory grief when I don't know what is actually going to happen?  [48:55] How can I ever start dating again after betrayal?  [50:49] What if the person who feels unsafe to me is a therapist?  [52:28] What is appropriate to say to our adult children?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "When a loss isn't socially recognized, the grieving process can be isolating and difficult to navigate."  "The lack of validation can make the pain even more isolating."  "When we are alone with our betrayal trauma and our grief, we can start to invalidate our own feelings."  "Navigating disenfranchised grief and betrayal trauma requires real, intentional effort to heal."  "No one has the right to tell people what is or isn't a loss."   

This episode (#306) addresses a common but painful question from betrayed partners: “Is my spouse a narcissist, or just showing narcissistic tendencies?” Mark and Steve explain that while the term “narcissist” has become a cultural buzzword, true narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is rare and defined by a complete absence of empathy. In contrast, addicts in denial often appear narcissistic because they're reacting defensively from fear and shame. Their hurtful behaviors—blame-shifting, gaslighting, and emotional withdrawal—mimic narcissism but stem from self-protection, not superiority.The hosts emphasize that what matters most isn't the label but the destination. Whether the issue is narcissism, addiction, or emotional immaturity, the key question is: Where is this relationship heading if nothing changes? The described situation clearly reflects an abuse cycle—one fueled by denial, volatility, and manipulation. For the addict, breaking that cycle means pausing reactivity, taking full ownership, and seeking specialized recovery help rather than generic therapy. True healing begins only when defensiveness gives way to empathy and accountability.For the betrayed partner, safety and support come first. Isolation only deepens the trauma, so finding community through trusted friends, family, or support groups like S-Anon and SALifeline is essential. She must set firm boundaries and remember that protecting her partner from consequences is not the same as loving him. The episode closes with practical resources—including books like The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents—and a hopeful reminder that even deeply wounded couples can rebuild when they both commit to truth, humility, and genuine change.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   Is My Partner a "Narcissist" of does he just have Narcissistic Tendencies?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Welcome to another episode of Restoring the Soul. Today, Michael John Cusick is joined by author, speaker, and men's group leader Drew Boa to discuss Drew's groundbreaking new book, Outgrow Porn: Find Lasting Freedom Without Fighting an Exhausting Battle.This conversation dives deep into breaking free from pornography—not through more willpower or "white-knuckling," but by truly healing and growing emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. Drew shares how his approach helps men connect with their inner child, understand their sexual fantasies, and use practical tools (14 of them, to be exact) to experience genuine freedom. They also discuss the impact of betrayal and sexual addiction on wives and partners, highlighting the importance of support and compassion for everyone affected.Together, Michael and Drew challenge the traditional “battle” rhetoric around pornography recovery and invite listeners into a paradigm-shifting journey—one where lasting change is possible and shame doesn't get the final word.Support the showENGAGE THE RESTORING THE SOUL PODCAST:- Follow us on YouTube - Tweet us at @michaeljcusick and @PodcastRTS- Like us on Facebook- Follow us on Instagram & Twitter- Follow Michael on Twitter- Email us at info@restoringthesoul.com Thanks for listening!

David and Sherie talk about betrayal trauma and the long-term effects, a request from a listener, and where this concept leads us. We talk about the effects but also consider the impact of how our beliefs and the tendency to swing to the other end of the pendulum when hurt can complicate things. The narrative we adopt really influences where healing and reconciliation goes. Listen to learn more about how we conceptualize this important issue, including being careful to respond well in order to really consider and heal the relationship.

This episode (#305) opens with a raw letter from a betrayed partner who discovered her husband had been using social media photos of women they both knew—friends, clients, even family—to fuel his sexual fantasies. Her anguish—“How could he ever love me if he could do this?”—captures the emotional devastation of betrayal trauma. We discuss how porn and sex addiction warp the brain's functioning, turning sexual stimulation into a survival need. When addiction takes over the limbic brain, logic, empathy, and morality shut down, producing behavior that makes no sense to the healthy mind.For betrayed partners, healing begins not with fixing him, but with caring for themselves. That means seeking outside support, reframing “How do I get over this?” into “How do I attend to my trauma?” and embracing acceptance—not as approval, but as facing reality so they can make empowered choices. From there, the partner can form clear, self-protective boundaries based on her authentic needs. Boundaries aren't about controlling the addict—they're about safeguarding one's own integrity and safety.For addicts, true recovery demands brutal honesty and a willingness to dismantle the lies that keep them in the “secret sexual basement.” They must uncover the emotional roots of their addiction, stop reacting defensively, and take proactive leadership in rebuilding trust. Healing requires outside accountability, transparency, and a daily commitment to growth. Ultimately, both partners must walk their own journeys—she toward safety and truth, he toward honesty and maturity. Whether they reunite or not, redemption is possible when both confront reality with courage, humility, and integrity.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  My Porn Addicted Partner uses photos of Family & Friends to Fantasize! What Do I Do?!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

The opposite of love is something OTHER THAN HATE. And when Lori stopped crying? That's when Jay finally got scared. In this raw 26-minute conversation, Lori ask Jay 12 Questions about what really went through his mind when he saw her crying over his betrayal. His answers reveal the uncomfortable truth about damaged empathy, hardened hearts, and why Lori's silence terrified him MORE than her tears ever did. They also cover what EMOTINAL MATURITY is… and isn't. What you'll discover: • What Jay felt in his body the first time he saw Lori cry (fear, and …) • When her crying stopped affecting him the same way (damaged empathy) • Did her tears make him want to just get better at HIDING? (the honest answer) • The story he told himself to pretend her pain didn't exist • The moment she stopped crying and why THAT finally scared him • Did he feel bad for her… or for how it made him look? For Partners: If he's seen your pain through your tears and still nothing changed, this video explains why. Plus, Jay reveals what finally broke through his hardened heart. For Addicts: This conversation shows the difference between feeling bad about messing up vs. feeling bad for the person you hurt. It also challenges you to see your wife's tears as a sign of pain instead of a sign of your worth? Plus: The accounting vs. math analogy that helped Jay understand what Lori needed (and WHY IT DIDN'T LAST). NOTE: We're trying a new editing style, going from natural but long to choppier and shorter. (Tell us which you prefer!) CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro (new editing = choppier.) 01:23 What did you feel when I cried? 06:51 EMOTIONAL MATURITY EQUALS… 08:42 Did you feel bad for me (vs your image)? 11:12 What did you FEEL IN YOUR BODY in the breakthrough moment? 12:20 When did my crying STOP affecting you the same way? 14:58 Did you feel ANNOYED when I cried? 15:33 Did my tears ever make you feel powerful? 18:24 Did you only cry over own feelings… or for me? 19:16 What story did you tell yourself to pretend my pain didn't exist? 20:16 Did watching me cry make you want to get better at HIDING? 21:15 Did you ever feel bad about NOT feeling bad? 22:37 What was hardest: the emotion or consequences? 24:12 Did it SCARE YOU MORE when I stopped crying (indifference) 25:49 Questions for viewers & Sneak Peek -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay's porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we're using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you're seeking. #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

In Episode 304, Mark and Steve address a powerful letter from a partner whose relationship began in betrayal—her husband secretly continued sexual involvement with his ex while dating her and later maintained years of hidden pornography use. Despite countless promises to quit, he lied, relapsed, and gaslighted her, leaving her emotionally and physically wrecked. They affirm that what she's experiencing is genuine betrayal trauma, not overreaction, describing how chronic deceit and emotional abuse erode safety, identity, and even bodily health.The hosts urge her to stop carrying responsibilities that were never hers—monitoring his devices, managing his guilt, or offering premature forgiveness. Healing, they explain, begins with reclaiming her independence and self-worth. That requires professional therapy, strong boundaries, and releasing the roles of “policewoman,” “confessor,” and “absolver.” For the relationship to have any chance of survival, the truth must come out in full through a professionally guided disclosure process, possibly with a polygraph, so she can finally make informed choices about her future.For the husband, Mark and Steve insist that real recovery is proactive, structured, and honest. He must stop reacting only when caught and instead pursue transparency and leadership in his healing. Whether through Dare to Connect or another structured program, addicts need daily accountability and consistent engagement. Ultimately, they stress that rebuilding trust takes time and integrity—measured not in promises but in patterns. For the partner, the focus now is learning to trust herself again; for the addict, it's becoming truly trustworthy. Only then can real recovery and genuine connection begin.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  In a relationship Filled with Betrayal—How Can I Trust He will NOT Betray Me Again?!Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

After betrayal, fear and anxiety can feel like constant companions—keeping you up at night, flooding your thoughts, and robbing you of peace. But what if one of the most powerful healing tools was already in your hands? In this episode, Lisa shares how journaling can help you process fears and worries, release trauma from your body, and renew your mind through God's truth. Backed by the latest research from Dr. James Pennebaker (University of Texas at Austin) and the Journal of Traumatic Stress (2023), you'll discover how writing integrates your emotional and logical brain, helping you move from chaos to clarity. You'll also learn: Why journaling is both scientifically and spiritually proven to reduce anxiety and fear How writing helps you process emotions safely and rewire your thoughts toward truth 3 powerful journal prompts to help you pour out your heart before God and find peace again If you're ready to move beyond fear and start healing your heart, mind, and spirit, this episode will guide you there.

When you love someone who's caught in addiction—whether it's porn, alcohol, or anything else that numbs pain—the chaos doesn't just stay with them. It spills into your relationship, your emotions, and even your identity.In this episode of The No More Desire Podcast, I sit down with Holly Thornton, author of The Hardest Help, who's lived through the agony of betrayal trauma, manipulation, and loss—and emerged with compassion, clarity, and tools that actually work.Together, we explore what most recovery conversations miss: how addiction and betrayal trauma intertwine, and how both partners can begin to heal through boundaries, empathy, and truth.If you're a man working to overcome porn addiction, this episode will give you a powerful glimpse into what your spouse experiences on the other side of your addiction—and how understanding her pain can transform your recovery.And if you're the partner of someone battling addiction, you'll learn how to support your loved one without losing yourself, why “rock bottom” is a dangerous myth, and what practical, compassion-based methods like the CRAFT approach can do to restore hope.In This Episode, We Explore:How betrayal trauma affects the brain—and why partners of addicts often feel anxious, confused, or “crazy.”The myth of rock bottom and why waiting for collapse keeps you trapped in addiction.Emotional regulation tools rooted in neuroscience to calm the nervous system and build resilience.The psychology of boundaries—how to protect yourself and rebuild trust without punishing or controlling your partner.Why curiosity heals more than confrontation, and how to communicate in a way that promotes safety, not shame.How small daily actions rewire the addicted brain through neuroplasticity and consistency.Spiritual and psychological integration—how empathy, compassion, and ownership reconnect you to your True Self.This conversation isn't about blame—it's about healing through understanding.It's about becoming a man who doesn't just say “I'm sorry,” but lives as someone who's safe to love.Because real recovery isn't just about quitting porn—it's about becoming whole, grounded, and emotionally present enough to lead yourself and your relationship with integrity.Link to Blog Article for this EpisodeIf you're ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You'll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart.Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your lifeFollow Holly at thehardesthelp.comor on Instagram @holly_jthortonSupport the showNo More Desire

When your marriage has been shattered by infidelity or sexual addiction, you don't just feel heartbroken—you feel unsafe, disoriented, and disconnected from your own body and faith. That's the power of betrayal trauma—it impacts your brain, your nervous system, and your spirit. In this episode, Lisa Limehouse—betrayal trauma and infidelity recovery specialist—explains how trauma-informed care can help you heal the whole person: mind, body, and spirit. She unpacks how approaches like EMDR, somatic therapies, and Christian trauma recovery restore safety and peace after betrayal. You'll discover:

In PBSE Episode 303, Mark and Steve respond to a betrayed partner's questions about what real accountability looks like for a recovering porn/sex addict. Real accountability in porn and sex addiction recovery is far more than saying “I'm sorry.” It's a deep, ongoing process of taking full ownership of one's actions, beginning with radical honesty toward oneself and others. Addicts must stop minimizing, rationalizing, or blaming others, and instead acknowledge the full scope of their behavior and its impact. Accountability also means recognizing that a betrayed partner should never be the primary support system. Building and actively engaging with a recovery network — including 12-step groups, sponsors, therapists, and accountability partners — is non-negotiable for sustained change.Another critical element of accountability is proactive communication and planning. Addicts must not only do the work but also share it, keeping their partners informed through transparent conversations and consistent updates. They need to anticipate triggering situations, create strategies for managing them, and follow through with deliberate, measurable actions. Empathy plays a pivotal role here — not as self-pity or shared misery, but as a sincere effort to understand and sit with the pain their actions have caused. This emotional ownership helps rebuild trust and fosters deeper connection.Finally, accountability must be consistent. Trust is not restored by one grand gesture but by countless small choices made faithfully over time. Partners, too, can support healing by practicing boundaried empathy — seeking to understand without excusing harmful behavior. Together, honesty, empathy, proactive planning, and unwavering consistency create the conditions for real recovery and a stronger, more authentic relationship. Accountability, at its core, is love in action — the daily choice to show up differently and to earn trust again, one step at a time.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  What does ACTUAL Accountability look like for a Porn/Sex Addict in REAL Recovery? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

HONEST QUESTION: Did you ever think 'SHE'LL NEVER LEAVE ME, so I can keep doing this'? Most partners wonder if their addict secretly believed they could get away with it forever. In this brutally honest conversation, Jay answers questions that keeps betrayed spouses up at night, including: DID YOU THINK I WAS TOO WEAK TO LEAVE? His answer might surprise you. What you'll discover: • Why Jay believed 'people leave' but kept lying anyway (the twisted logic of addiction) • The moment I stopped being the 'good Christian girl' and what finally changed • Did he see my staying as weakness or strength? (you need to hear this) • How addicts put 'stock in their ability to lie' and why that delusion keeps them trapped • The difference between desperate plate-spinning vs. mastermind manipulation (who we work with) • When it finally hit him that I wasn't going to tolerate this forever (it wasn't what I expected) FOR PARTNERS: If you've ever wondered whether your loyalty is being used as a weapon against you, this conversation validates everything you're feeling. Jay reveals what was really going through his mind when I stayed, when I threatened to leave, and when I finally meant it. FOR ADDICTS: If you're thinking 'just one more time' or 'she'll never find out,' you need to hear why that thinking is borrowed time, not clever strategy. PLUS: What I did every time we had a bad conversation (separating boxes, DIY divorce books, and the grief that always followed). COMMENT BELOW: Do you ever feel like YOUR LOYALTY OR KINDNESS is used against you? TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Intro: Did you think I'd never leave? 00:34 Did you think she'll never leave me, so I can keep doing this? 01:42 Did you think you'd never face real consequences? 03:29 Did you ever test my limits? 04:14 Did it ever sink in that I might actually leave? (Lori's experience) 06:13 What I did with MY ANGER (separating boxes & DIY divorce) 07:16 Did you realize my staying wasn't the same as healing? 08:22 Did you misinterpret my silence as a GREEN LIGHT? 10:09 Did you mentally calculate how much I'd put up with? 11:24 Was your ABILITY TO LIE A SOURCE OF PRIDE? 12:34 Did you see me as WEAK FOR STAYING? (his answer surprised me)* 15:04 The type of men we work with 15:40 How many times did you think 'she'll never find out'? 17:22 The moment I stopped being the 'good Christian girl' 17:28 QUESTION FOR VIEWERS: Is your loyalty used as a weapon? -- To Rebuild Trust - https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/ To Recover from Betrayal Trauma - https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/ Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay - https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/ To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww -- Who is This Channel For? If porn addiction has you stuck--whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship--this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay's porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we're using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you're seeking. #narcissisticabuse #gaslighting #toxicrelationships #marriagehealing #trustissues #emotionalabuse #christianmarriage #deception #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

Betrayal trauma leaves deep emotional and spiritual wounds — but healing is possible. In this powerful episode, Lisa  shares five evidence-based, biblically grounded strategies to help you begin recovering from the devastation of betrayal. You'll learn how to: Rebuild safety and stability after betrayal Reconnect with your true identity in Christ Process your pain instead of numbing it Set healthy boundaries that protect your heart Rewire your mind with God's truth using neuroscience and Scripture Grounded in research from Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score), Dr. Caroline Leaf, and Drs. Cloud & Townsend (Boundaries in Marriage), this episode equips you with the tools to move from surviving to thriving — one faith-filled step at a time.

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!We're taking a short break from recording and re-releasing a powerful episode — Betrayal Trauma. This conversation was originally recorded in 2024, and while our language and understanding have evolved since then, the message still holds true. If you're new here, this is one of the episodes that helped so many people finally put words to what they were living through.Betrayal trauma refers to the deep psychological harm that occurs when someone experiences a significant betrayal within a primary relationship such as a romantic partnership and it impacts the victim's sense of trust, safety, and security. Codependency doesn't come close to touching on the trauma experienced by spouses and partners of alcoholics, addicts, or people that have been affected by infidelity, but betrayal trauma does. In this episode we discuss betrayal trauma and its roots, as well as examples and the reasons the effects from betrayal fallout aren't as simple as picking up and moving on. Betrayal trauma has psychological, behavioral, and emotional effects that last long after the events that caused betrayal have passed. You have been through significant trauma whether you realize it or not and your healing journey begins with understanding concepts such as this. We hope you glean some validation and assistance for what's next for you as you navigate your challenges. We're here for you every step of the way.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comSupport the Show:Buy Us a Coffee!Online Program: www.independentlystrong.comSoberlink Device:www.soberlink.com/wheelsCheck out our blog:https://twfo.com/blogFollow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

In this PBSE episode (#302), Mark & Steve respond to a betrayed partner who faces an all-too-common form of "double-dealing." When a partner says “you're the most beautiful woman in the world” but secretly consumes porn featuring people who look nothing like you—who are NOT you—the contradiction is deeply painful. It undermines trust, triggers feelings of rejection, and cuts to the core of self-worth. This isn't just about “boys being boys” — it's a betrayal of the exclusivity and commitment that a relationship is built on. While the addict may genuinely believe his words, addiction operates on a different logic. Pornography is less about attraction and more about escape — a way to numb, avoid vulnerability, and chase novelty. Over time, it stunts emotional maturity, leaving the addict unable to pursue true intimacy in a healthy, adult way.This disconnect creates what we call the “unverifiable problem”: the addict wants to be believed, but his actions have destroyed credibility. Trust can't be rebuilt through promises alone; it requires consistent, verifiable action. Accountability, empathy, transparency, and small daily follow-throughs are essential to show that change is real. Words mean nothing if they aren't backed by behavior. Over time, repeated trustworthy actions can help rebuild the foundation of safety and make belief possible again.For the betrayed partner, healing also involves turning inward. Recovery is not about fixing him — it's about reclaiming your own self-worth, building a support system, and ensuring your emotional needs are met, regardless of his progress. This may include strengthening friendships, pursuing passions, or addressing codependency. Ultimately, true reconciliation happens when both partners do their work on parallel tracks: the addict becoming a trustworthy, empathetic partner, and the betrayed partner reclaiming her agency and strength. Only then can trust, intimacy, and love become real again.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  My Partner says He Only Has Eyes for Me—but He's Hooked on Porn—Should I Believe Him? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Send us a textHave you or someone you love experienced betrayal trauma? In this episode, I sit down with Katie Davis, an LDS betrayal trauma coach, to talk about what betrayal trauma is, how it impacts mental and spiritual health, and the steps to start healing.You'll hear Katie's story of moving through deep hurt toward peace and purpose, and how she now helps others do the same.________________________For more information on this episode and other mental health resources, head to the link below!Show notes: www.ldsmentalhealthco.com/blog/219________________________

In this mini episode, Lisa answers one powerful question: How does betrayal trauma differ from other traumas? Betrayal trauma isn't like any other kind of pain — it strikes at the very foundation of safety, trust, and identity within your most intimate relationship. When the one who vowed to love and protect you becomes the one who causes the deepest wound, it shatters more than your heart — it shakes your entire sense of reality. Lisa explains why betrayal trauma feels so different, how it impacts your mind, body, and spirit, and why healing requires a specialized approach that goes far beyond behavior change. You'll discover how to begin rebuilding safety, regulating emotions, restoring identity, and allowing God to take the ashes of your story and create something brand new. If you're walking through the aftermath of infidelity or sexual betrayal, this short but powerful episode will help you understand what's really happening inside you — and where true healing begins. ✨ Learn more about healing from betrayal trauma through Lisa's Roadmap to Recovery program for women or Marriage Redesigned for couples at lisalimehouse.com. :: NEXT STEPS: MARRIAGE REDESIGNED PROGRAM  Schedule your MARRIAGE REDESIGNED FREE CONSULT  Join our Beauty Beyond Betrayal Sisterhood:   Healing from an affair: Heartbreak Recovery for Christian Women Grab your Free Ebook:   Broken Vows: Begin healing from the devastation of betrayal Email:   info@lisalimehouse.com WEBSITE:  www.lisalimehouse.com Got a question you want answered?  ASK HERE

With your co-hostesses: Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com  and special guest Cat Etherington from nakedtruthproject.com Support HFW through a donation Listen now: Our guest-rockstar, Cat Etherington, is with us as we continue the discussion around how cultural complexities can create additional layers to navigate in a betrayed wife's healing and recovery. We Will be Discussing: How can she navigate this and empower herself? What hope can we leave our listeners around cultural complexities? Resources mentioned in this show: Naked Truth Project Redeemed Hope Healing Intensive Retreat  

This episode of the PBSE Podcast (#301) centers on the question, “How does a porn/sex addict coercing his partner into acting out fantasies impact them both?” Mark and Steve begin by acknowledging the devastating reality of such coercion and the way it violates the original commitment of exclusivity and mutual respect that every relationship is meant to hold. They describe how many addicts enter marriage hiding a “secret sexual basement,” carrying unspoken behaviors and fantasies from their addiction into the relationship. This deception destroys true informed consent—the partner may think she's choosing love and safety, but what she's actually being drawn into is secrecy, distortion, and betrayal.The hosts discuss how this dynamic profoundly harms both people. The partner experiences confusion, disconnection, and trauma as she's pressured to perform or go along with things that feel unsafe or degrading, often silencing her instincts to “keep the peace.” Meanwhile, the addict becomes increasingly numb to real pleasure and intimacy, his brain rewired by fantasy to crave stimulation over connection. The more he pursues pleasure, the less he feels alive. Both individuals lose touch with their authentic selves: she through self-betrayal, he through objectification and emotional decay.Mark and Steve conclude with hope and direction. They emphasize that while innocence and trust may be lost, couples can still rebuild—but only when the addict stops the damage, seeks genuine help, and the partner reclaims her voice and boundaries. A structured therapeutic separation may be necessary to create safety and clarity, allowing each to heal individually before determining whether reconciliation is possible. Real intimacy, they affirm, can be rediscovered—not as a return to what was lost, but as the creation of something new, rooted in honesty, equality, and shared humanity.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  How Does a Porn/Sex Addict Coercing His Partner into Acting Out Fantasies, Impact Them Both?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Betrayal trauma can hit like an emotional wrecking ball—shattering trust, shaking relationships, and leaving you doubting yourself. But healing is possible. In this powerful episode, I sit down with betrayal trauma expert Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Institute, to explore the process of moving from heartbreak to healing. We'll talk about the step-by-step journey of recovery, what transformation really looks like, and how to turn pain into personal power. Whether your experience comes from infidelity, addiction, or other forms of deception, this conversation offers the tools and insights you need to start rebuilding your life.