POPULARITY
Sarah Morales is a Certified Life and Relationship Coach and gaslighting specialist who also sits on the board of APSATS – the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts and Trauma Specialists. Together with Dr. Rob she deconstructs the stages of gaslighting, explains the differences between gaslighting, manipulation and guilt, and addresses common emotions and doubts that partners have when they are being gaslit. TAKEAWAYS: [3:19] The motivation behind Sarah's work with gaslighting. [5:42] What are common gaslighting patterns? [8:00] Differentiating between manipulation, guilt, and gaslighting. [10:51] Flowcharts to breakdown gaslighting. [12:37] Stages of progressive and chronic gaslighting. [17:35] Cognitive dissonance at higher levels of gaslighting. [19:41] Do gaslighters know what they are doing? [23:33] Diversion tactics and self-abandonment. [28:40] Maybe my gaslighter is actually right about me? RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Sarah Morales Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. QUOTES: “Gaslighting undermines partners who are asking for what they need in order to feel safe in a relationship.” “Gaslighting only works when it happens from a person that we're supposed to be able to trust.” “Eventually I no longer see myself through my own eyes, I only see myself through my gaslighter's eyes.”
In this episode of the Alpha Male 2.0 Podcast, Caleb Jones dismantles the common accusation that high-sex-drive men are "sex addicts," explaining the real clinical definition of sex addiction versus healthy male sexuality. He exposes how shaming language is used to enforce conformity, clarifies why regular sex improves focus and productivity, and shows how alpha men can confidently reject guilt, misinformation, and societal conditioning.
(Part 2 of 2) Five years after her divorce, Renee is still angry at her ex-husband for leaving her, after 45 years, because she wouldn't have sex with him as often as he wanted. Join us as Renee takes another look at her marriage. Let's do The Work! To catch Byron Katie live every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, 9am/PT on Zoom, register here: athomewithbyronkatie.com
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.What's a “Russian Doll” (or is it called a Babushka) got to do with Sex, Porn, Love Addiction?I thought you would never ask!“I haven't bought into that nonsense “Big boys don't cry”, when I was growing up”. At least, I don't think so”!That guy called John Bowlby in the 1940's dared to put together some suppositions that I didn't like. How dare he put me in a box and think that he knows me. Yet, “Oh my goodness, that stuff he is talking about me; describes me. I don't like this. Anyway, I am a complex being made by God and only Sigmund Freud can unravel the complexities of me”. (This was my coping strategy that I used to avoid getting penetrated and having to go and see those busy-body counsellors and tell them about my growing up stuff, so they could sort me out).The inner child was curled up deep inside the Russian Doll, with layers of protection, to avoid people that I give my heart to, hurting me again. "Big boys don't cry". Therefore, grown up boys absolutely cannot cry. A man's man get's up, stop crying and whimpering and gets on with it. Stiff British lip stuff. (PS: Is that the upper or lower lip that is stiff. I always wondered!)What is the framework and straight jacket which society (which is us) has given men? Is it the right fit? If it isn't, how do we break out and re-invent ourselves?What baton? What generational/family script has been handed on to each of us?What is masculinity? What does it mean? Is it controversial to even ask the question? Too dangerous for me to even dare to begin to offer a 'take'. What does that mean for a progressive society?More questions than answers in this episode.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show
Five years after her divorce, Renee is still angry at her ex-husband for leaving her, after 45 years, because she wouldn't have sex with him as often as he wanted. Join us as Renee takes another look at her marriage. Let's do The Work! (Part 1 of 2) To catch Byron Katie live every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, 9am/PT on Zoom, register here: athomewithbyronkatie.com
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.Russian dolls very well illustrates the brain's attempts to protect and guard us from repeat pain from situations experienced in the childhood development years. The real us, may have got stunted, where the brain built layers and layers around the inner child from the time of early developmental traumas and uncomfortable issues.By adulthood, maybe you no longer know who is the 'Real' you. You get a split second sight of him (very rarely), but before you are ready, he pops back in and disappears.When you get that split second sighting, you know you could get to like him, but as you hold up your hands to beckon him to stay, just as quickly, he disappears. (Make sense to anyone?)You learn to present a version of you, dependent upon the persona you think that group of people want to see or have got use to seeing; but it may not be the real authentic you. It may have got tiring living in that mould and you have outgrow that version of you, but the 'system' won't let you change and metamorphose into a different version of you. You are stuck. The coat no longer fits. So you self-soothe with P....Men are “Wild at heart”. That book (by that title) by John Eldredge – maybe is on to something. There is something that is not done “good enough” during childhood development. The brain then sets about trying to fill the deficits with coping strategies – Sex, Porn and/or Love Compulsive activities enter the mix, after the game console or sports, ain't doing it well enough.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.We need you ladies. Don't give up on us yet!So much more practical in finding solutions. Teach us please ladies. We need you. I am convinced that women have been endowed with an extra perceptive sense which us men do not have. You see danger in innocuous situations that us men just glaze our eyes over, until..... 'Too late guy'.Us men have become emasculated by a society. What does masculinity mean? Aren't there two roles – Masculinity & Femininity? Aren't they different? Don't they complement each other, to create a balanced society? Too simplistic Gary?We need someone in our life to role-model the sexual type that belongs to each of us. Without it, so many are floundering on the high seas, trying to do the best with the best that they have been handed. “Life isn't fair” - I decided, long ago.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'?: A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.Impediments to having great relationships:Disruption in the bonding in early childhood development with the significant caregivers (usually parents), is a key factor. The male (a father) plays a very important role. Masculinity cannot be entirely and comprehensively supplemented by a mother. It is not “do as I say”, it is “do as you see me doing”. The eyes take in the largest amount of information during the communication process.What gets set up in childhood, plays out in adulthood, in how we interact with others; seeking to bond, yet avoid repeat hurt. It is called Insecure Attachment. Insecure Attachment in Adulthood, often presents as “Love Addiction”, where the individual is not so much chasing Love, but connection; acceptance; to be inclusive; to be wanted; to be secure.The stuff of Sex, Porn, Love Addiction is indiscriminate. It impacts, in a significant way, women, children, men, LGBTQI community - cutting across all of the societal stratas and ages - (aged 9 to 75). The scale of addiction is staggering and is at pandemic levels:• 12% of all internet websites contain pornography.• 25% of all search engine queries—68 million per day—relate to sex.• 35% of all downloads are pornographic.• 70% of men aged 18–24 visit porn sites monthly.• Average first exposure: 11 years old.• 1 in 5 pastors struggle with pornography.• Over 50% of practising Christians report occasional porn use.• Neurodivergent individuals show higher compulsive-use rates. Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show
Tune in to hear a bunch of anonymous cheating confessions plus get Kathy's take on them. Why do men cheat on women? Why do women cheat on men? And once someone cheats will they always be a cheater? Tune in to find out plus hear from a guy who can't stop secretly groping his wife's best friend under the table when the wife is sitting right there, Morgan (ep. #479) who had a free pass to start hotwifing but instead wound up cheating on her husband Jay (ep #52), a guy who thinks he might have a porn and sex addiction because he can't stop cheating on his vanilla girlfriend, a woman who is married and is on a mission to cheat on her husband because they haven't had sex in many years, a guy who wants to know how he can cheat and do it anonymously in his area plus hear Kathy's cheating confession plus a whole lot more. To see HOT pics MORGAN plus my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at strictlyanonymouspodcast@gmail.com or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show." Want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://motorbunny.com/strictly — Black Friday Sale PLUS $50 off! https://butterwellness.com/ — Use the code STRICTLY at checkout for 30% OFF your entire order https://vb.health — To get 10% off LOAD Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY https://www.quince.com/strictlyanon — For premium quality Quince clothing plus FREE shipping and 365 day returns! https://bluechew.com — Get your first month of the new Bluechew Max FREE! Use code: STRICTLYANON https://brooklynbedding.com — Use my promo code STRICTLY at checkout to get 30% off sitewide https://beducate.me/pd2536-anonymous — Use code ANONYMOUS69 to get 50% off your yearly pass plus a 14-day money-back guarantee https://uberlube.com/discount/Strictly — Use code STRICTLY for 10% off Uberlube aka the BEST Lube EVER Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ X https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else: https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'?: A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.What is Man-ness? There is still a caveman instinct inside of us as men. Has the image got distorted as men try to metamorphize ourselves to fit what society tells us a man should be. Trying to fit what we are really not, is hard work. At some point there may be an increased desire to self-soothe and escape into cyberworld for a while – using sex, porn and/or other compulsive behaviours. Consider this poem: Children Learn What They LiveAuthor: Dorothy Law NolteIf a child lives with criticism, he [she] learns to condemn.If a child lives with hostility, he [she] learns to fight.If a child lives with ridicule, he [she] learns to be shy.If a child lives with shame, he [she] learns to feel guilty.If a child lives with tolerance, he [she] learns to be patient.If a child lives with encouragement, he [she] learns confidence.If a child lives with praise, he [she] learns to appreciate.If a child lives with fairness, he [she] learns justice.If a child lives with security, he [she] learns to have faith.If a child lives with approval, he [she] learns to like himself [herself].If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he [she] learns to find love in the world.Templates and scripts from batons and intergenerational patterns passed on, are already shaping the developing brain in such an early formative time, which will set up patterns that continue to play out in adulthood. Therefore, significance must be given to this period in the man's life.(Let's build upon this in the subsequent episodes of this interesting podcast chat).Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show
If you're stuck in sexual sin, you've probably tried different ways to escape. But have you ever considered that the real problem lies within? It's your heart. In today's message, Director of Ministry Outreach Patrick Hudson uses Pharoah's rebellion in the Exodus account to break down four ways the sexual sinner hardens his heart towards God. As Patrick testifies, God has made a way out for you—but it requires a response to His voice. Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
You might know Elizabeth Gilbert as the author of Eat Pray Love; now, she's written All The Way To The River, charting her electric, heart-breaking relationship with her partner Rayya, who died in 2018.In this Book Club chat, Fearne explains that she chose this to be part of the Happy Place Book Club because she recognised so many of her own behaviour traits in it – see: chaotic relationships and people pleasing!Elizabeth talks through how to tell if you're co-dependent, what a love and sex addict really is, and how to block someone's number for your own emotional safety.Fearne and Elizabeth also get into those moments where you want to react with defensiveness and rage, and how to extend compassion to yourself and others instead.If you liked this episode of Happy Place, you might also like: Book Club Meets: Aisha Muharrar Book Club Meets: Emily Henry Book Club Meets: Lorna Tucker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
If you just found out your husband is a sex addict, you're probably feeling lost, angry, and unsure of what to do next. You're not alone.In this episode, Craig talks about what recovery really looks like for couples facing sexual betrayal. He shares the first steps for healing, what to expect during the process, and how to protect your emotional well-being while your partner does the work to change.You'll learn why recovery isn't just about stopping the behavior—it's about rebuilding honesty, trust, and connection one step at a time.Visit https://mindfulhabithelp.com to learn more about our Partner Empowerment Group for spouses of sex addicts, or explore our friend Dr. Debbie Silber's Post Betrayal Transformation Institute, a wonderful program and friend of ours: https://mypbtinstitute.com/~access/a8c2087f/If you're ready to start healing, this episode will help you take your first step toward strength and clarity.
In this episode of Conversations on Sex Addiction and Relationships: Partner Wants to Have Sex and Sex Addict Doesn't We explore the painful dynamics of betrayal trauma, intimacy anorexia, avoidance, childhood wounds, entitlement, and fear that often lie at the heart of these behaviors.
In this episode, we dive into a listener question about a sex addict who withholds intimacy while engaging sexually with others. Many partners struggle with betrayal, confusion, and grief when their spouse avoids connection at home but seeks it elsewhere. We explore the concept of intimacy anorexia, why addicts withdraw sexually, and what it might mean for the future of a marriage. Our discussion covers: Recognizing patterns of sexual avoidance and betrayal Understanding the emotional impact on the betrayed partner How to approach healing and communication in complex relationships The psychology behind why some partners “play married” instead of fully engaging If you've ever felt sexless in your marriage, betrayed, or just confused about your partner's behavior, this conversation is for you.
In PBSE Episode 303, Mark and Steve respond to a betrayed partner's questions about what real accountability looks like for a recovering porn/sex addict. Real accountability in porn and sex addiction recovery is far more than saying “I'm sorry.” It's a deep, ongoing process of taking full ownership of one's actions, beginning with radical honesty toward oneself and others. Addicts must stop minimizing, rationalizing, or blaming others, and instead acknowledge the full scope of their behavior and its impact. Accountability also means recognizing that a betrayed partner should never be the primary support system. Building and actively engaging with a recovery network — including 12-step groups, sponsors, therapists, and accountability partners — is non-negotiable for sustained change.Another critical element of accountability is proactive communication and planning. Addicts must not only do the work but also share it, keeping their partners informed through transparent conversations and consistent updates. They need to anticipate triggering situations, create strategies for managing them, and follow through with deliberate, measurable actions. Empathy plays a pivotal role here — not as self-pity or shared misery, but as a sincere effort to understand and sit with the pain their actions have caused. This emotional ownership helps rebuild trust and fosters deeper connection.Finally, accountability must be consistent. Trust is not restored by one grand gesture but by countless small choices made faithfully over time. Partners, too, can support healing by practicing boundaried empathy — seeking to understand without excusing harmful behavior. Together, honesty, empathy, proactive planning, and unwavering consistency create the conditions for real recovery and a stronger, more authentic relationship. Accountability, at its core, is love in action — the daily choice to show up differently and to earn trust again, one step at a time.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: What does ACTUAL Accountability look like for a Porn/Sex Addict in REAL Recovery? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
Join us in this episode as Ben S reads a written First Step from podcast listener "Noah". Annual Bay Area Giving Thanks information: https://bayareasaa.org/announcements/announcing-the-23rd-annual-giving-thanks-11-1-25/ Donate here: https://tinyurl.com/BAGTdonation or text "BAGT" to 91999 Book mentioned in this episode: Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook for Sex Addicts to Help their Partners Heal by Carol Juergensen Sheets , Allan J. Katz Since suicide was mentioned in this episode, if you are in suicidal crisis or emotional distress, reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the US by dialing 988. https://988lifeline.org YouTube Links to music in this episode (used for educational purposes): This Past Weekend #611 Louis C.K.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsIo5wYFeZc This Past Weekend #612 Pete Davidson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmxcNhJSvzM Jess Ray - Runaway: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7PEXQMr9Wo Judah. - I Am: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNQNcbCuHhg Mumford & Sons - Surrender: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2TsMjUYEF0 Be sure to reach us via email: feedback@sexaddictsrecoverypod.com If you are comfortable and interested in being a guest or panelist, please feel free to contact me. jason@sexaddictsrecoverypod.com SARPodcast YouTube Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLn0dcZg-Ou7giI4YkXGXsBWDHJgtymw9q To find meetings in the San Francisco Bay Area, be sure to visit: https://www.bayareasaa.org/meetings To find meetings in the your local area or online, be sure to visit the main SAA website: https://saa-recovery.org/meetings/ The content of this podcast has not been approved by and may not reflect the opinions or policies of the ISO of SAA, Inc.
What's the difference between having a high sex drive, watching a lot of porn, and having an addiction to sex? That's something we find out in this episode with sex therapist Heide McConkey who's spent nearly 30 years working with people who have Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder. SHOW NOTES:Sex Addiction Australia: https://www.sexaddictionaustralia.com.au/Sex Addiction Anonymous: https://saa-recovery.org/Lifeline: 13 11 14RELATED EPISODES:How Often Are You Having Sex?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ35yOTAfyo&t=491sHow To Deal With Mismatched Libidos: https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/mismatched-libidos-different-low-sex-drives-laura-lee-sexologist/105812842DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
In this vital and eye-opening episode, we speak with Hannah Ashwell from QuitPorn Faith about the complex, often misunderstood topic of sex addiction within the Church—especially when it involves individuals who have offended or are at risk of offending. Hannah shares the most common misconceptions churches hold and how these can hinder true healing and safety.We explore how faith communities can create cultures of openness and accountability while implementing essential safeguarding protocols to protect everyone. Drawing from real-world experience, Hannah offers insight into how churches can balance grace with responsibility, and restoration with necessary boundaries. From practical next steps when someone discloses illegal behavior to examples of churches walking this difficult path well, this conversation provides both courage and clarity.For leaders who feel overwhelmed by the weight of these issues, Hannah offers hope: with the right tools and heart posture, churches can be places of redemption and protection.Resources:More From Hannah AshwellAll Our ToolsJoin A Group! GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
This episode of the PBSE Podcast (#301) centers on the question, “How does a porn/sex addict coercing his partner into acting out fantasies impact them both?” Mark and Steve begin by acknowledging the devastating reality of such coercion and the way it violates the original commitment of exclusivity and mutual respect that every relationship is meant to hold. They describe how many addicts enter marriage hiding a “secret sexual basement,” carrying unspoken behaviors and fantasies from their addiction into the relationship. This deception destroys true informed consent—the partner may think she's choosing love and safety, but what she's actually being drawn into is secrecy, distortion, and betrayal.The hosts discuss how this dynamic profoundly harms both people. The partner experiences confusion, disconnection, and trauma as she's pressured to perform or go along with things that feel unsafe or degrading, often silencing her instincts to “keep the peace.” Meanwhile, the addict becomes increasingly numb to real pleasure and intimacy, his brain rewired by fantasy to crave stimulation over connection. The more he pursues pleasure, the less he feels alive. Both individuals lose touch with their authentic selves: she through self-betrayal, he through objectification and emotional decay.Mark and Steve conclude with hope and direction. They emphasize that while innocence and trust may be lost, couples can still rebuild—but only when the addict stops the damage, seeks genuine help, and the partner reclaims her voice and boundaries. A structured therapeutic separation may be necessary to create safety and clarity, allowing each to heal individually before determining whether reconciliation is possible. Real intimacy, they affirm, can be rediscovered—not as a return to what was lost, but as the creation of something new, rooted in honesty, equality, and shared humanity.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: How Does a Porn/Sex Addict Coercing His Partner into Acting Out Fantasies, Impact Them Both?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centrePut these tools into your armoury of resources to help you communicate more effectively:John Grays 'Men are from mars and women are from Venus' is still worth a read. Also (although a somewhat provocative title) 'Men don't listen and women can't read maps' - is worth reading.Both books remind us that there is a difference between how masculinity and femininity communicate. There is a big difference between 'Hearing' and 'Listening'.There is a difference in how we communicate when we are in conflict with someone. There is a difference in how we communicate when we are in a 'Parent role', 'Adult role' or Child role". (That is the theme of TA (Transactional Analysis - for which you can do a 3 years degree to understand the dynamics).There is a difference between Sympathy and Empathy. There is a difference between Narcissism and Empathy. (I describe Empathy as the antedote to Narcissism).There is a difference in how we communicate when '...now is not a good time for me...', but we are forced to do communication. It can quickly go downhill.There is a difference in how we communicate when there is a power imbalance. There is a difference in how we communicate when Shame is at work (very much applicable to those with Sex/Porn/Love Addiction - remembering my mathematical formula - SHAME + NARCISSISM = SEX/PORN ADDICTION.Know the terrain in which YOU are communicating. Remember that the biggest aspect of effective communication is what we take in with our eyes.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone to access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpWant to access past episodes for a small monthly fee - Here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412/supportGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction Podcast, biology, gender, Gary McFarlaneSupport the show
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreSex addict, your body demeanour is going to give you away. Know the facts about the body and how you main have trained it to 'tell on you'!When we first meet someone we form a very strong impression of them within the first 40 seconds. We form a lasting opinion of them within the first 4 minutes. Our opinion will influence the way in which we respond and behave towards that person until something happens to cause us to change our mind. Even then, changing our mind is a process and is not immediate.Our voice and body language communicate about 93% of our message. Let's break that down a bit more. Dependent upon the statistics that you read, anything from 55% to 70% of what is communicated and we take in, is what we gain visually, using our sight. In other words what we see. 38% comes from what we hear (tone, pitch of voice etc) and only 7% comes from the actual words that we hear. Remember words are ambiguous.The way someone dresses influences opinion. As a speaker, if I dress in a way that is insensitive, inappropriate or is causing you to pay more attention to it; perhaps I have been culturally insensitive in my dress sense; then for quite a long time you will have been absorbed with that fact. You will have stopped listening effectively and be distracted in your thoughts, although you will have been “hearing” noise coming out of my mouth. There is a great difference between listening and hearing.If you detect a nervous disposition from me as I am speaking to you, my nervous disposition and shaking hands will be giving you mixed messages and reduce the impact of what I am saying. What is the importance of all of this?It is important to maximise that which takes in most of the information whilst we communicate. That is the visual. Therefore, avoid having those important conversations sitting side by side, particularly with the television on. Text messages can be disastrous when dealing with important matters. Laying side by side and pillow talk conversations can become problematic if the subject has more importance to one of you than is realised by the other.I am not saying not to do it, but I want you to be aware that the aim should be to maximise eye to eye and body to body visual contact.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone to access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Consider voting for this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction Podcast, biology, gender, Gary McFarlaneSupport the show
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhen we are communicating, the information is passing through the filters of the different structures of the brain. Sex Addiction does damage the brain and so, damages the filters.We all have filters. The message being transmitted is going through the receiver, but the receiver has filters and that means the message can come out the other end looking very different to what went in and was received. A damaged or compromised brain may incorrectly filter the message.For there to be effective transmission and receipt, the equipment must be working well. Stress, headaches, worry, multi-tasking and distractions are some things which act as blocks to effective transmission. Fight, Flight Freeze, Brain damage, dopamine and other neurochemical highs or lows, are other compromises to the filtering mechanisms of the brain.We need to learn to listen effectively and hear well. The speaker must have a clear idea of what they intend to communicate. The recipient must feel the message is relevant and be interested or greater levels of concentration will be required. The time and place must be appropriate. Both should be free from interference from strong emotions and past history! They must share the same language and not have coded meanings. The problem we have is that on a lot of occasions many of those things are not present and so there are problems in transmitting and/or receiving. Filters may act as blocks. What is said is not what we want to hear and so we do not listen and/or we do not interpret it the way it was intended. That can all be happening consciously or even unconsciously. It is the unconscious which is perhaps more difficult to identify and address. Don't be entrenched and fixed in your views. Don't be dogmatic. Leave scope for a different opinion. I demonstrate this in therapy by showing ambiguous picture and ask each person to describe what they see. Some cannot see all the different images contained in one picture. They need help. When pointed out, they exclaim with pleasure that they too can now see the differing images! But they needed help. Until they received help, many will hold firmly to their view that there is nothing further to be seen. Life is not always Black and White. Sometimes we all need help to see and better understand that which we just cannot see or understand with our own five senses. Sometimes we need someone to help us introduce some colour into our black and white, all or nothing way of thinking. That so often is all that counselling is - just adding some colour!Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone to access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction PodSupport the show
In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) You've talked about penis size and sensitivity, but I haven't heard you talk about clitoris size in that regard. I used to have a normal size clitoris, but after taking testosterone to help with low libido, it seems to have tripled in size. I have stronger orgasms now—but it takes so much longer to climax. I can't figure out the right spot anymore: the sensitive area seems to have moved. Any advice on how to find it again?2) My boyfriend is obsessed with one of my friends. I've only met her recently and she is very attractive and posts a lot online. I trust him, but I recently caught him masturbating while watching a video of her online. It's completely freaked me out. Does this mean he's going to leave me for her or would rather be with her? 3) How can you tell if your partner is a sex addict? My new partner has admitted to a history of repeated cheating, and, while he wants lots of sex, he seems disconnected from me. He never makes eye contact during sex. My gut tells me something isn't right. I don't know him well enough to tell if he's watching lots of porn, but he is paranoid about me picking up his phone. Am I overreacting or sensing something?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey's book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this powerful PBSE conversation (Episode 298), we respond to a listener who vulnerably asked whether he is staying in his marriage out of love—or out of fear and obligation. Three and a half months into the space between Discovery Day and full therapeutic disclosure, he wonders if he can truly love his wife, or if he is staying simply because of the kids, his reputation, or fear of being alone. Mark and Steve normalize these questions and share how fear-based thinking dominates the early stages of recovery, often leaving addicts panicked, frozen, and driven by “shoulds” instead of authentic desire.We discuss how these questions often reflect growth, not failure. Moving from a “me” mindset to a “we” mindset can feel foreign and terrifying, but it is a critical milestone in recovery. We encourage addicts to avoid “future tripping”—trying to predict where they'll be in five, ten, or twenty years—and instead focus on the next right step. We also reframe the partner's question, “Do you really want me?” as a bid for connection and safety, not a demand for a lifetime guarantee.Ultimately, recovery is about gradually putting down the masks, moving out of obligation, and stepping into authentic choice. Relationships will always involve risk, but we are wired for connection, not disconnection. As addicts and partners commit to healing, they return to their natural state of love, intimacy, and collaboration. There are no guarantees about the future, but by staying present, honest, and connected, couples can rebuild a marriage that is chosen—not just endured.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: As a Recovering Porn & Sex Addict, What is Keeping Me in My Marriage?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreRemember our foundational question: 'Do you enter a conversation to be understood or to understand?'Communication is like a bicycle wheel. Picture the two of you riding along the road to your destination, but not getting very far because both wheels on your tandem bicycle are buckled. You will get to your destination, but not very fast and it is taking more effort to cover the distance. Now let's remove one of the bicycle wheels and take a look at what we have in front of us. We can view the hub in the middle and call it “communication”. The hub needs to be tight and work well, because attached to it are the spokes. The spokes are various life issues that we all face. Life will throw up lots of stuff that we have to deal with.Those spokes (or life issues) can be negotiated around and got over much better by the two of you where the hub (communication) is tight and working well for the two of you. How do we tighten the hub so that it keeps the spokes tightly attached to it and stop the wheel warping and hindering progress? The intention is to tighten up the hub so that when communication is working much better for the two of you, both of you can better tackle life issues. Let us look at the features of Communication. It includes body posture, gestures (such as head nods), facial expression, eye contact, physical proximity, appearance, style of speech, tone and volume of voice, words (and the different meanings they may have to you) and physical contact (such as hand shakes). Remember cultural differences and word nuances! The intention is that when therapy comes to an end, armed with new communication skills, each is better equipped to tackle those spoke issues which life will continue to throw up. Improved communication skill is a life skill which works in the home, work, gym or wherever interaction with another takes place.Sometimes we need to think outside of the box. Often we need a little help to see how we restrict our own thinking! Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone to access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Consider voting for this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction Podcast, biology, gender, Gary McFarlaneSupport the show
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." — David Augsburger Listening effectively is a very valuable gift to someone. It is costly. It values the other person. It is learned and must be practiced. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Listening means that the information stops in the brain and is processed and digested. When information is not digested, then you will find you did not really listen to it and take it in and it quickly is forgotten. Five types of poor listeners: 1. The advisor: instead of seeking to understand and empathise, they will want to sort out the problem by proposing a fix it. Sometimes the person who has spoken, only wanted to be heard and listened to without a solution. We men can struggle with that. What – no advice wanted! 2. The interrupter: whilst a person is speaking, they are already working out a reply and interrupt when they think they have the answer, before all is shared. Whilst the brain is working out the reply they are not truly listening. Sometimes we are not aware that we interrupt each other. 3. The reassurer: is a person who perhaps interrupts prematurely and gives advice that may belittle what has been said. For example, “It'II be OK”.4. The rationaliser: that person focuses on explaining why the other feels the way they do. The replies may actually totally miss the point. 5. The deflector: perhaps feels uncomfortable with the subject matter and instead of commenting on the issue, moves the conversation off into a different arena. Often ends up talking more about themself.Sometimes we cannot see it. Sometimes we need some help to see it. Sometimes the constraints are self-imposed. Sometimes we need to remove the shackles from our own minds so that we can think outside of the box. We can teach our brains to say the right things, but our heart can betray us. In other words, whilst we are saying what we have rehearsed in our minds, our body language could be giving off a very different impression and contradict our spoken words! The other person is likely to detect that we are not really listening and feel devalued. Repeatedly devaluing the other person, causes core emotional needs to be depleting. Fight and/or flight will start to come out as they seek to get those needs met elsewhere.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Consider voting for this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The SeSupport the show
Today on another episode of the Rarified Heir Podcast, we are talking to Robert Crane, son of actor Bob Crane. Sadly, more has been spoken about the unsolved murder and the details surrounding the life of Bob Crane, the star of the hit 1960s television show Hogan's Heroes than about his actual career. Be it autobiographical movies like Auto Focus starring Greg Kinnear or books like My Unhollywood Family and Crane: Sex, Celebrity and My Father's Unsolved Murder both written by his son, our guest, the mystery surrounding Bob Crane's death somehow has eclipsed all else. Today, we spoke to Robert about not only the devastation of losing his father in Scottsdale, Arizona in 1978 but also spending time with at KNX radio where his dad's massively popular radio show in the 1960s made him one of the most popular DJs in the country. We discuss what Bob was like as a father (both the good and the bad), the fractured family dynamic of Bob's first marriage and the fractured relationship with Bob's second family. We also change gears and discuss Robert's connection to SCTV via a book with Dave Thomas and his professional relationship as John Candy's publicist and assistant for more than half a decade. So yes, on this upcoming episode, we dig into the hard stuff as well as the personal stuff which made Bob Crane a fun loving dad as well as the tough stuff which never quite leaves you, even close to 50 years later. This is the Rarified Heir Podcast and this is one interview, you wont forget. Take a listen.
This episode (#292) explores the repeated heartbreak many betrayed partners experience when they unknowingly enter relationships with porn or sex addicts, offering both empathy and practical strategies for breaking the cycle. It begins by affirming that betrayal is never the betrayed partner's fault, highlighting how addicts often hide their behaviors through manipulation, secrecy, and even self-denial. The emotional devastation of discovering such betrayal—especially after believing a partner shared your values—is profound, and the first step toward healing is letting go of misplaced self-blame. Support systems such as therapy, 12-step programs, or recovery communities are presented as essential for replacing isolation with understanding, accountability, and informed caution.From there, the discussion moves into proactive ways to protect oneself in future relationships. This includes pacing physical intimacy to avoid neurochemical “fog” that can cloud judgment, learning to spot early red flags such as boundary-pushing or defensiveness, and ensuring that emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy are built before sexual involvement. The article stresses the importance of cultivating self-love and personal security before committing to a partner, which allows for the creation and communication of healthy, non-negotiable boundaries. These boundaries not only help filter out unsafe partners early but also foster transparency and respect in ongoing relationships.Finally, the article underscores the value of doing personal work before pursuing another relationship, particularly exploring attachment patterns, vulnerability to codependency, and habitual overlooking of warning signs. Breaking the cycle doesn't simply mean avoiding addicts—it means becoming someone who won't settle for relationships that compromise their self-worth. The conclusion offers a hopeful vision: while no one can guarantee they'll never be hurt again, self-awareness, intentional boundaries, and strong support networks can ensure that if betrayal does occur, it will be recognized sooner, addressed decisively, and healed from more quickly. At the heart of this approach is the belief that every person deserves a relationship where trust is cherished, respect is mutual, and love is genuine.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: I Keep Finding Myself Hurt In Relationships with Porn/Sex Addicts—How do I Break the Cycle?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreHighs and lows of the Couples relationship is a given. What impacts you, may not impact a partner and vice versa. Childhood development personality and characteristic sharping experiences, play a significant part in that process.Sex Addicts need to take their shoes off and step into the shoes of a partner in order to see the relationship from the partner's vantage point and perspective. All clients with Sex and/or Porn Addiction have traits which come from Narcissism. (That does not mean they are necessarily to be diagnosed with NPD - Narcissistic Personality Disorder).Seeing life and the relationship from the vantage point of the impacted partner is going to be very scary for the Addict. It means that they have to set aside Narcissistic tendencies and embrace Empathy for a short while.That really is scary indeed for the Sex/Porn Addict with Narcissistic traits. Most of them believe that they are Empathic and 'do' for others. (I suggest that they are Empathic in a conditional way; only so long as something comes back to reward them for good deeds; but they cannot see it and would strongly object to this statement).I suggest that the antidote to Narcissism is Empathy. They both CANNOT co-exist at a high level of expression in the same person. Just like the same poles of a magnet repel each other, so it is with Narcissism and Empathy. Only one can rule and be (being) used at a higher degree than the other.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Would you consider voting for this Podcast?https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy RelationshiSupport the show
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWe fall in love with 'Differenceness' and 'Sameness'. Over the years, we can become dissatisfied with the unconscious differences of a partner, that is now in the conscious. So we set about trying to change them to be more like us, since those visible and conscious differences are no longer seemingly acceptable or wanted. We consciously now only want the sameness bits. So the fight over the toilet seat (up or down), and the top off the toothpaste, is in full flow. Yet, it has nothing to do with the toilet seat or the toothpaste (which 'breaks the camel's back') - causing us to retreat from the relationship.Here is a little of what Authors Jacobs, Dicks & Scarff have to say: "Unconscious attraction: Choice or chemistry: we are not aware of it. At an unconscious level we often pick and are picked out by a partner who has had similar earlier life experiences. They may have dealt with these experiences in an opposite way. Unconscious choice of a partner is based on similarity. It may feel that you "complete each other" or have found your "other half........When couples unconsciously choose each other it may be as a second chance to play out old conflicts (from childhood) which were not successfully managed the first time around".We choose partners & are chosen by partners at both conscious & conscious levels.Counselling may explore the idea of "chemistry" between two people: how two people "fit" together to form a "whole".Hendrix & LaKelly add their worth by suggesting:"The Search For "One and Only": So how does this information add to our understanding of romantic attraction? We seem to be highly selective in our choice of mates. In fact, we appear to be searching for a "one and only" with a very specific set of positive and negative traits....... we are each looking for someone who has the predominant character traits of the people who raised us....it is a compelling need to heal old childhood wounds". Aren't we strange and fickle people - us human beings? Might AI do it better for us - partner choice I mean?British Podcast Awards 2025: Would you consider voting for this Podcast?https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | RelaSupport the show
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreEarly relationships (often with our parents) has a very powerful impact on the blueprint of partner choice. They are unconsciously looked at as being able to repair those childhood wounds. We often seek a blueprint that “fits” ours.When we meet a potential partner, we have an opportunity to re-Attach to a loved person, just like (or better than) the Attachment bonding we had with our parents when we were young. A 'someone' we feel safe with and gives us other familiar feelings which usually make us feel comfortable and have a sense of belonging.We tend to idealise our partners initially. In time, we get very disappointed when they do not live up to our expectations. We feel very let down.Both, may have had Attachment issues from childhood and have separation anxiety, but they may have different coping styles. At some point, when repeated conflict arises, questions and doubt also surface like:“This is not the person I thought I had married.” After the shock, comes denial. The disappointment is so great that you don't allow yourself to see the truth. You do your best to see your partner's negative traits in a positive light. Eventually, however, the denial can no longer be sustained. You feel betrayed.We fall in love with 'sameness' and 'differenceness'. This is why we find “opposites attract”. We are unconsciously searching for and eventually think that we have found 'the one'; our 'other half/better half!'.It should be remembered that all couple fits, serve an emotional and psychological purpose. They are there to provide comfort, a sense of security and wholeness. We are not always aware of our fit until it is challenged or disrupted. Do any of these seem familiar in your relationship?:Babes in the Wood: Cling together in the face of the odds. Unconscious rejection; repressed anger within the relationship; expressed anger at people outside the relationship. They often look the same and will behave in a likeable, affable manner. A couple such as this see all the bad things in the world as belonging in the outside world and not part of themselves. They keep anything bad out of their relationship. The world literally is a “big bad wolf”.Net and Sword: The ‘net' shows all the love & tries to encompass, control or placate the sword. Conscious rejection; deny need or yearning for other. Relationship works well until one partner owns up to their denied feelings & decides they will not be responsible for the others unexpressed feelings. One partner shows all the love and the other, all the rejection. One person expresses all the denied emotions that the other cannot or will not express. This relationship works well until one partner owns up to their denied feelings and decides they will not be responsible for the others unexpressed feelings, often plunging the other into confusion or profound feelings of loss. Cat and Dog: Characterised by anger, rejection and other destructive emotions. Both are only conscious of the bad in each other, but often will not part because they fear they cannot or will not be able to find a relationship with anybody better. This relationship is characterised by anger, rejection and a host of other destructive emotions. Both are only conscious of the bad in each other and their lives seem like a war zone. Intimacy is regulated by conflict and they often will not part because they fear they cannot or will not be able to find a relationship with anybody better. (I call this one "Tom & Jerry" - characterised by a never-ending chase and never catching the other)Support the show
In todays episode, Patrick shares his thoughts on 3 important principles for a sex addict to remember in recovery: It takes time - don't expect your betrayed partner to recover from discovery quickly. There are many factors that play into their ability to heal and everyone's relationship and trauma level is different. Healing and relational reconciliation is a lifelong commitment. Demonstrate consistency so you can create safety for your partner. Be proactive. Make sure your motivation comes internally - your spouse shouldn't have to push you to move through your own recovery. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8 Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2 For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org Follow Kylene: On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune On IG: @KyleneTerhune
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhen there is conflict in the couples relationship, sex and intimacy becomes the first casualty which fly out the window. It is very difficult (sometimes feels impossible) to physically touch the person with whom you are in conflict.Yet, touch is exactly what you need to do to begin to break down the walls set in place by conflict. Touch is then so very, very impossible to do.The antidote is to learn to do physical (non-sexual) touch with the person with whom you are in conflict, in order to begin to break down the walls of hostility. But it is hard. "Boy is it hard". But a prize awaits you.Try it. Throw caution to the wind and dive in - with physical (non-sexual) touch. Overcome yourself. Overcome pride. Get you and your ego out of the way. Just do it.Don't talk. Just touch. Just embrace - if you dare. The other person may not welcome your endeavours - initially. (Be warned).Expect the bucking horse. "Get off me. What are you doing. Leave me alone". Its going to happen! Hold on in there for dear life and eventually the bucking horse will reduce. Will calm. Don't talk. Expect the intimidation - which goes with our current culture - "You need to respect my space". There is a prize if you can stay in there. It's worth it.Even as I write these words, I am intimidated because the naysayers in our current culture will be getting ready to chastise me with their disagreement. (The insistence that we must respect another's space and not intrude). That is powerful intimidation.Psychosexual Therapy (I just call it Sex Therapy) with The Kairos Centre, is not about sex. The first thing that we do is to ban sexual intercourse. Then teach how to rebuild intimacy, sensuality and romance at a higher level.Done well, it paves the way for the couple to naturally want to consummate the rebuilt relationship, by progressing to a sexual expression. At that point, I am getting ready to come out of their lives and leave them with the next 80 years to practice this thing called sex!Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | obsessive T
Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreUnresolved issues; unprocessed childhood issues, loose canons, unpotted snooker balls - are some of the terms that I use, for the process of work that I do multiple times every day with clients - using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing).Another analogy that I use (but please don't tell my EMDR colleagues that I described it to you like this)! It is as if you own an 8 bedroom mansion house; but for some reason, over lots of years, you never go into 3 of the bedrooms. Over time, the things in those 3 bedrooms (just like many attics), gather cobwebs and dust and are hidden.When Eye Movement begins - known as BLS (Bilateral Stimulation) - it is as if the brain goes into those 3 bedrooms and begins to remove the drapes, blow away the cobbwebbs and finds thing that you did not remember about. You may let out a shriek or exclamation (inside of you and unconsciously). It might sound like this:"....oh my goodness. Oh look. I had forgotten about that. But if that was present at the time of [the negative event] that which I have been carrying all these years, about the event, can't be entirely accurate! I now need to integrate the stuff found in those 3 bedrooms - into my view of the past event. That means I can't continue to see it quite the same way any more, because the stuff I can now see and better understand, is giving me a different/ more accurate knowledge about the events; which was not a full picture that I carried all these years. That makes sense, since the Limbic/Emotional part of the brain must have been making all the decisions during the negative impactful event; the logical reasoning/Pre-Cortex part of the brain would have gone off-line and major decisions being taken based on feelings. I feel, so I do...." Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Here is my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing
My new novel "Hourglass" - about biohacking, seduction, and philosophy - bears the subtitle "Not For Sex Addicts." Did I subtitle it so JUST to be provocative and elicit your curiosity, click, and purchase?No.The subtitle is a selective invitation. A challenge to those with some degree of sexual sovereignty - a mirror held up to their own agency: their capacity to bend the trajectory of their lives through sharper, smarter sexual choices. And the subtitle is my subtle shot across the bow of Sexaholics Anonymous and the broader psychological sphere, which, I contend, disempowers many by giving them the label “Sex Addict.”Here, I level 7 trenchant critiques, breaking down what the mainstream gets wrong about "Sex Addiction" — and why I wrote a spicy science fiction thriller to make sexual self-control SEXY.7:25 “Sex Addict”18:15 Porn Addiction ≠ Sex Addiction22:30 Naughty = Irresistible25:40 Surrender?34:05 The Solution: Prevention38:30 Why I Wrote Hourglass47:00 History of HourglassRead: The Myth of Sex Addiction
In this re-edited interview, we talk with trauma specialist Diane Strickland and creator of the site yourstoryissafehere.com about sex addiction and partners being labeled "codependent." Why women are shamed for their anger. And much more.
When “Laura” discovered her husband's sex addiction, it felt like her world cracked apart—over and over again. In this incredibly vulnerable and moving episode, our audience caller opens up to Lucie about the moment of disclosure, the letter that revealed everything, and how she's been piecing her life back together ever since.Laura shares what it's like to be married to someone battling an addiction that's misunderstood and stigmatized—even within recovery communities. From therapy and polygraphs to navigating triggers, broken trust, and spiritual growth, this is a story of devastation, resilience, and radical honesty.Whether you've experienced betrayal or are trying to understand the complexities of addiction in relationships, this conversation will challenge assumptions, break stigmas, and offer hope.Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story. I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone. Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod Find Lucie here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfinkWebsite: https://luciefink.com/ Produced by Dear MediaExecutive Producer: Cloud10See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The church's belief system on sexuality is so integral, so consequential, to the everyday member's life, that an entire therapy market has blossomed across Utah that revolves around "recovering" from addiction to sexual thoughts. Masturbating? Attracted to a movie star? Kissing someone of the same gender? You've got a problem. And LDS Family Services has just the solution for you. It's just not one that most licensed therapists would ever recommend.Know of a missing woman's case that needs attention? Contact us at someplaceunderneith@gmail.com.Some Place Under Neith produced and edited by Adam Wirtz and Last Podcast Network. Artwork by Kevin Conor Keller, intro song "Subway" by Lunachicks, remixed by Devin Castaldi-Micca. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Some Place Under Neith ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.
Caveh Zahedi is one of the most influential independent filmmakers of our time. Jay Duplass, Lena Dunham, Richard Linklater, Greta Gerwig, are all big fans of his 30+ years worth of ultra-autobiographical work (five features, “I am A Sex Addict” perhaps being the most popular). His magnum opus, “The Show About The Show,” started out as a “self-reflexive TV show about its own making” for BRIC TV and has continued despite lawsuits, loss of distribution, re-castings, and many more obstacles, thanks to Zahedi's dogged determination to simply tell the story, mostly through re-enactments using the actual people in his orbit playing themselves, of what happened in his life. He gets a small, but passionate amount of support from his loyal fanbase who want him to see this now decade long journey come to an end in the final season, which is about to be released. Zahedi has done a lot of interviews about his filmmaking, but rarely any, like this one, that focuses on his work as an actor for other filmmakers and in front of his own camera, where he plays a version of himself. He talks about the tonal fine line he has to walk when addressing the camera, nudity (his and others'), actors who work well with his directorial approach (like Emmy Harrington and Jim Fletcher), the rigors of auditioning to play a pedophile rabbi, striving for “non-acting,” and much more. Creative Nonfiction Film Weekend is bringing Zahedi's work (and the man himself) on a UK tour in March 2025. Check here for more info Back To One is the in-depth, no-nonsense, actors-on-acting podcast from Filmmaker Magazine. In each episode, host Peter Rinaldi invites one working actor to do a deep dive into their unique process, psychology, and approach to the craft. Follow Back To One on Instagram
WWE trying new things is understandable, but some of these changes were unforgivable! Simon Miller presents 10 Small WWE Character Tweaks That Became DISASTERS!ENJOY!Follow us on Twitter:@SimonMiller316@WhatCultureWWEFor more awesome content, check out: whatculture.com/wwe Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In Episode 266, Mark & Steve respond to a raw and heart-felt submission by a betrayed partner. They explore the complexities of sex addiction and betrayal trauma, addressing whether compulsive sexual behaviors stem from addiction or are simply acts of revenge in a relationship. It highlights the secrecy, justification, and emotional dysfunction that often accompany addiction, emphasizing that acting out is rarely just about sex but more about numbing emotional distress. The unpredictability of an addict's behavior can be deeply confusing for their partner, as they cycle through periods of neglect and attentiveness. The article stresses that addiction is rarely resolved by sheer willpower and requires structured recovery efforts, therapy, and accountability.Here's a past PBSE podcast that deals with what justifications around "porn substitutes" not being within the realm of addiction—"It's NOT an Addiction if I'm Only Using “Porn Substitutes”—Right???"The emotional rollercoaster experienced by partners of addicts is another key focus. Many addicts may exhibit changed behavior when confronted with the potential loss of their relationship, but true recovery is determined by long-term consistency and genuine effort, not temporary remorse. The article warns against false promises like “I can stop anytime” and highlights that sustainable change requires addressing the underlying emotional wounds that drive compulsive behaviors. Without proper intervention, the cycle of betrayal and relapse is likely to continue.Finally, the article urges partners to set firm boundaries, demand real accountability, and not rely on verbal reassurances alone. True healing involves transparency, commitment, and professional support. Partners are encouraged to focus on their own healing by seeking therapy and support networks, as their emotional well-being is just as important as their partner's recovery. While hope is possible, it must be based on concrete actions rather than empty words, ensuring a safer and healthier path forward.For betrayed partners confused by their addict partner's mistreatment, here's a past PBSE podcast—The “Abuse Cycle” Par Two—The Impact of Abuse on Betrayal Trauma and HealingFor a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: "Is My Partner a Sex Addict or Just Getting Back at Me? He says He can Stop anytime."Is My Partner a Sex Addict or Just Getting Back at Me? He says He can Stop anytime.Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
In this episode of Your Living Proof Podcast, hosts Danny and Emily Deaton dive deep into a topic that often feels isolating and confusing for many: loving a partner struggling with porn or sex addiction. Whether you're in a relationship with someone facing these challenges or simply seeking to understand more, Danny and Emily offer 5 practical and compassionate tips to help you navigate the complexities of love, trust, and healing. Our Website: https://yourlivingproof.com/ Our FREE Masterclass: https://yourlivingproof.com/free-masterclass To Watch this Episode on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@your_living_proof Sex Addiction Study:https://fightthenewdrug.org/cambridge-neuroscientist-valerie-voon-porn-drug-addict-brain/
In Episode 265, Mark & Steve discuss how recovery from porn and sex addiction often begins with external motivators, such as wanting to “get clean for her” or save a relationship. These external pressures serve as a crucial starting point, especially when addicts feel incapable of self-driven change. However, while these motivations may bring someone to the recovery process, they alone are insufficient for long-term success. Sustained recovery requires a shift toward internal motivation, where individuals focus on long-term sobriety, self-improvement, personal growth, and reclaiming their self-worth. This transition, while gradual, enables addicts to build a foundation of resilience, fueled by intrinsic rewards like freedom, self-respect, and authenticity.Here's a past PBSE podcast article that asks the question—As an Addict, are you “Weaponizing your Weaknesses” as a Reason to NOT Commit to and Live “Real” Recovery?For betrayed partners, navigating the complexities of recovery can be particularly challenging. The cyclical nature of progress and relapse often leads to emotional exhaustion, underscoring the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care. Partners are encouraged to support recovery without taking ownership of the addict's journey, allowing them to decide what they are willing to tolerate. Recovery for couples requires open communication and mutual respect, creating opportunities to rebuild trust and foster collaboration. When both parties commit to growth, the relationship becomes stronger and more fulfilling over time.In a past PBSE podcast, Mark & Steve address a very painful question that betrayed partners often ask—Do I Have to Accept that my Addict Partner, even in Successful Recovery, could Betray Me Again?!Another critical misconception in recovery is the idea of hitting “rock bottom” as a prerequisite for change. While dramatic wake-up calls can sometimes prompt action, lasting recovery stems from deliberate decisions, education, and early intervention. Addicts are encouraged to develop a support network and focus on internal transformation rather than external pressure. Ultimately, recovery is a progressive and collaborative process. By embracing setbacks as opportunities for growth and fostering open communication, addicts and their partners can cultivate a life of integrity, authenticity, and connection.In this PBSE podcast episode, Mark & Steve help addicts in recovery and their betrayed partners in "Defining Slips & Relapses"For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: "As a Porn/sex Addict, does, "I Want to Get Clean for Her," or "Be Worthy of Her," work as a motive for Real Recovery?"Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
In episode 264, Mark & Steve discuss how reconciling with a partner who has struggled with porn or sex addiction is a deeply personal and challenging decision that requires a thorough assessment of their recovery progress and the betrayed partner's own emotional readiness. The trauma of betrayal can leave partners feeling devastated and uncertain about the future, making it crucial to carefully consider whether the addict's changes are genuine and sustainable. True recovery is not just about abstinence; it involves consistent behavioral changes, emotional growth, and accountability. Partners must look for tangible signs of progress such as transparency, professional support, and a sincere effort to rebuild trust over time.Equally important in this journey is the establishment of firm, non-negotiable boundaries to ensure past mistakes are not repeated. Boundaries empower the betrayed partner to regain control over their healing while providing a framework for the relationship to move forward in a healthy way. At the same time, partners must take an honest look at their own readiness—processing past pain, ensuring they have a solid support system, and being willing to walk away if necessary. Self-care, therapy, and peer support can all play essential roles in this process.Reconciliation, if pursued, should be approached with caution and a structured plan, including gradual re-engagement and frequent check-ins to evaluate progress. Watching for red flags such as defensiveness, inconsistencies, and emotional manipulation is crucial to avoid further heartbreak. Ultimately, reconciliation is only worth the risk if both partners are fully committed to healing and growth, creating a foundation for a stronger, more honest relationship. Trusting one's instincts and prioritizing self-respect will be key in making the right decision.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: "My Porn/Sex Addict Partner Put Me Through Hell! Now He's in Recovery & Wants to Reconcile—is it Worth the Risk?"Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
In Episode 263, Mark & Steve address the devastating impact of betrayal within relationships affected by porn or sex addiction, focusing on the pivotal question, How do I know when I know enough? It discusses the catastrophic effects of betrayal trauma, which shatters trust, devastates intimacy, and leaves partners questioning the foundation of their relationships. The process of recovery is explored through the lens of both betrayed and betraying partners, emphasizing the importance of transparency, patience, and professional guidance to rebuild trust and establish a sense of safety.This episode delves into the concept of "full disclosure," highlighting its limitations and the importance of balancing the need for transparency with the potential harm of unnecessary details. By navigating this delicate process with professional support, partners can identify what information is essential for healing and what may hinder progress. Disclosure is framed as a collaborative, evolving journey where both parties must engage in open communication and a shared commitment to healing, with a focus on long-term trust and emotional safety.Here's a past PBSE podcast that goes into much greater detail on what a Formal Disclosure Looks LikeBeyond disclosure, the episode emphasizes the importance of rebuilding safety, trust, and intimacy through ongoing accountability, transparency, and personal growth. It underscores that healing is a non-linear, deeply personal journey that requires resilience, intentionality, and mutual effort. While betrayal creates profound challenges, it also presents an opportunity for transformation and the possibility of redefining relationships in ways that prioritize honesty, connection, and growth.In a past PBSE podcast, Mark & Steve talk about that fact that There is NO Statute of Limitations on Feelings, Betrayal Trauma and Disclosure.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: "As the Betrayed Partner of a Porn/Sex Addict, How Do I Know if/When I Know Enough About His Secret Behaviors?"Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
Katherin called me from Atlanta, Georgia. She grew up in a challenging environment with an adoptive mother on dialysis, an adoptive father who disengaged from parenting, and life lessons that taught her to suppress her emotions. Seeking connection, Katherin turned to the affection of men to fill the emotional voids in her life.In reunion, Katherin discovered her birth mother's struggles with mental health and gained a sister with whom she shares a close bond. However, building a relationship with her birth father has been difficult, as his wife harbors resentment over his past transgressions.This is Katherin's journey.In Search of a Salve: Diary of a Sex AddictWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean
Welcome back to another episode of Ask Double A! Today we answer all of your questions about anal, our definition of the perfect partner and whether or not someone is a sex addict! Ask Adrienne and Amanda (your sex positive besties!) anything on Midlife Craving.com and be featured on the next episode!Buy the toys shared on the show at TracysDog.com Use code CRAVERS20 and get 20% off your entire order!
In a heartfelt conversation, I discuss the caller's struggles with psoriatic arthritis, depression, and alcoholism, reflecting on the impact of neglectful parenting on childhood. We explore the lasting effects of childhood trauma on self-worth and relationships, emphasizing the need to break negative generational patterns for emotional well-being. Additionally, we delve into a caller's tumultuous relationship marked by infidelity, highlighting the link between past familial dynamics and current relationship challenges. Self-reflection and accountability are key in learning from past mistakes to build healthier relationships in the future.Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!NOW AVAILABLE FOR SUBSCRIBERS: MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING' - AND THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI AND AUDIOBOOK!Also get the Truth About the French Revolution, the interactive multi-lingual philosophy AI trained on thousands of hours of my material, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!See you soon!https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022
On today's episode, we hear about: · A woman whose husband is a sex addict and is saying terrible things about her to friends · A woman who's recently sober and wants to manage triggers without relapsing · A man who's unhappy because his wife quit her job and isn't looking for a new one Offers From Today's Sponsors · 10% off your first month of therapy at BetterHelp · Three free months of Hallow · 25% off Thorne orders · 20% off Organifi with code DELONY · 20% off + two pillows at Helix Sleep · $350 off Pod 4 Ultra at Eight Sleep · Up to 30% off Cozy Earth products with code DELONY · 20% off DeleteMe with code DELONY Next Steps