Podcasts about sex addicts

In this powerful PBSE conversation (Episode 298), we respond to a listener who vulnerably asked whether he is staying in his marriage out of love—or out of fear and obligation. Three and a half months into the space between Discovery Day and full therapeutic disclosure, he wonders if he can truly love his wife, or if he is staying simply because of the kids, his reputation, or fear of being alone. Mark and Steve normalize these questions and share how fear-based thinking dominates the early stages of recovery, often leaving addicts panicked, frozen, and driven by “shoulds” instead of authentic desire.We discuss how these questions often reflect growth, not failure. Moving from a “me” mindset to a “we” mindset can feel foreign and terrifying, but it is a critical milestone in recovery. We encourage addicts to avoid “future tripping”—trying to predict where they'll be in five, ten, or twenty years—and instead focus on the next right step. We also reframe the partner's question, “Do you really want me?” as a bid for connection and safety, not a demand for a lifetime guarantee.Ultimately, recovery is about gradually putting down the masks, moving out of obligation, and stepping into authentic choice. Relationships will always involve risk, but we are wired for connection, not disconnection. As addicts and partners commit to healing, they return to their natural state of love, intimacy, and collaboration. There are no guarantees about the future, but by staying present, honest, and connected, couples can rebuild a marriage that is chosen—not just endured.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  As a Recovering Porn & Sex Addict, What is Keeping Me in My Marriage?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreRemember our foundational question: 'Do you enter a conversation to be understood or to understand?'Communication is like a bicycle wheel. Picture the two of you riding along the road to your destination, but not getting very far because both wheels on your tandem bicycle are buckled. You will get to your destination, but not very fast and it is taking more effort to cover the distance. Now let's remove one of the bicycle wheels and take a look at what we have in front of us. We can view the hub in the middle and call it “communication”. The hub needs to be tight and work well, because attached to it are the spokes. The spokes are various life issues that we all face. Life will throw up lots of stuff that we have to deal with.Those spokes (or life issues) can be negotiated around and got over much better by the two of you where the hub (communication) is tight and working well for the two of you. How do we tighten the hub so that it keeps the spokes tightly attached to it and stop the wheel warping and hindering progress? The intention is to tighten up the hub so that when communication is working much better for the two of you, both of you can better tackle life issues. Let us look at the features of Communication. It includes body posture, gestures (such as head nods), facial expression, eye contact, physical proximity, appearance, style of speech, tone and volume of voice, words (and the different meanings they may have to you) and physical contact (such as hand shakes). Remember cultural differences and word nuances! The intention is that when therapy comes to an end, armed with new communication skills, each is better equipped to tackle those spoke issues which life will continue to throw up. Improved communication skill is a life skill which works in the home, work, gym or wherever interaction with another takes place.Sometimes we need to think outside of the box. Often we need a little help to see how we restrict our own thinking!  Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone to access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Consider voting for this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction Podcast, biology, gender, Gary McFarlaneSupport the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." — David Augsburger Listening effectively is a very valuable gift to someone. It is costly. It values the other person. It is learned and must be practiced. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Listening means that the information stops in the brain and is processed and digested. When information is not digested, then you will find you did not really listen to it and take it in and it quickly is forgotten. Five types of poor listeners: 1. The advisor: instead of seeking to understand and empathise, they will want to sort out the problem by proposing a fix it. Sometimes the person who has spoken, only wanted to be heard and listened to without a solution. We men can struggle with that. What – no advice wanted! 2. The interrupter: whilst a person is speaking, they are already working out a reply and interrupt when they think they have the answer, before all is shared. Whilst the brain is working out the reply they are not truly listening. Sometimes we are not aware that we interrupt each other. 3. The reassurer: is a person who perhaps interrupts prematurely and gives advice that may belittle what has been said. For example, “It'II be OK”.4. The rationaliser: that person focuses on explaining why the other feels the way they do. The replies may actually totally miss the point. 5. The deflector: perhaps feels uncomfortable with the subject matter and instead of commenting on the issue, moves the conversation off into a different arena. Often ends up talking more about themself.Sometimes we cannot see it. Sometimes we need some help to see it. Sometimes the constraints are self-imposed. Sometimes we need to remove the shackles from our own minds so that we can think outside of the box.  We can teach our brains to say the right things, but our heart can betray us. In other words, whilst we are saying what we have rehearsed in our minds, our body language could be giving off a very different impression and contradict our spoken words!  The other person is likely to detect that we are not really listening and feel devalued. Repeatedly devaluing the other person, causes core emotional needs to be depleting. Fight and/or flight will start to come out as they seek to get those needs met elsewhere.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Consider voting for this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The SeSupport the show

Today on another episode of the Rarified Heir Podcast, we are talking to Robert Crane, son of actor Bob Crane. Sadly, more has been spoken about the unsolved murder and the details surrounding the life of Bob Crane, the star of the hit 1960s television show Hogan's Heroes than about his actual career. Be it autobiographical movies like Auto Focus starring Greg Kinnear or books like My Unhollywood Family and Crane: Sex, Celebrity and My Father's Unsolved Murder both written by his son,  our guest, the mystery surrounding Bob Crane's death somehow has eclipsed all else. Today, we spoke to Robert about not only the devastation of losing his father in Scottsdale, Arizona in 1978 but also spending time with at KNX radio where his dad's massively popular radio show in the 1960s made him one of the most popular DJs in the country.  We discuss what Bob was like as a father  (both the good and the bad), the fractured family dynamic of Bob's first marriage and the fractured relationship with Bob's second family. We also change gears and discuss Robert's connection to SCTV via a book with Dave Thomas and his professional relationship as John Candy's publicist and assistant for more than half a decade. So yes, on this upcoming episode, we dig into the hard stuff as well as the personal stuff which made Bob Crane a fun loving dad as well as the tough stuff which never quite leaves you, even close to 50 years later. This is the Rarified Heir Podcast and this is one interview, you wont forget. Take a listen.  

This episode (#292) explores the repeated heartbreak many betrayed partners experience when they unknowingly enter relationships with porn or sex addicts, offering both empathy and practical strategies for breaking the cycle. It begins by affirming that betrayal is never the betrayed partner's fault, highlighting how addicts often hide their behaviors through manipulation, secrecy, and even self-denial. The emotional devastation of discovering such betrayal—especially after believing a partner shared your values—is profound, and the first step toward healing is letting go of misplaced self-blame. Support systems such as therapy, 12-step programs, or recovery communities are presented as essential for replacing isolation with understanding, accountability, and informed caution.From there, the discussion moves into proactive ways to protect oneself in future relationships. This includes pacing physical intimacy to avoid neurochemical “fog” that can cloud judgment, learning to spot early red flags such as boundary-pushing or defensiveness, and ensuring that emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy are built before sexual involvement. The article stresses the importance of cultivating self-love and personal security before committing to a partner, which allows for the creation and communication of healthy, non-negotiable boundaries. These boundaries not only help filter out unsafe partners early but also foster transparency and respect in ongoing relationships.Finally, the article underscores the value of doing personal work before pursuing another relationship, particularly exploring attachment patterns, vulnerability to codependency, and habitual overlooking of warning signs. Breaking the cycle doesn't simply mean avoiding addicts—it means becoming someone who won't settle for relationships that compromise their self-worth. The conclusion offers a hopeful vision: while no one can guarantee they'll never be hurt again, self-awareness, intentional boundaries, and strong support networks can ensure that if betrayal does occur, it will be recognized sooner, addressed decisively, and healed from more quickly. At the heart of this approach is the belief that every person deserves a relationship where trust is cherished, respect is mutual, and love is genuine.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  I Keep Finding Myself Hurt In Relationships with Porn/Sex Addicts—How do I Break the Cycle?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Dr. Ken Adams, renowned clinician, author, and expert in the field of sex addiction treatment—joins Wendy Conquest and Jeanne Vattuone live from the IITAP Symposium to discuss his groundbreaking new book Light in the Dark co-authored with Dr. Mary Meyer and Culle Vande Garde, this book is the first of its kind to give voice to the lived experiences of adult children of sex addicts. Ken opens up about his own journey, the shame he carried, and the powerful decision to share his personal story in the book. He also breaks down the core structure of the work: personal narratives, common characteristics of adult children, roles they play in the family, and a clear path to healing—with an emphasis on reclaiming personal power and moving beyond a victim identity. Whether you're a clinician, a survivor, or someone looking to understand the intergenerational impact of sexual addiction in families, this episode offers hope, clarity, and a new lens for healing. Trigger warning: This episode discusses topics related to family trauma, sexual addiction, and shame. Please listen with care. Learn more about Light in the Dark and Ken's work at kennyadamsphd.com #KenAdams #LightInTheDark #SexAddictionRecovery #AdultChildrenOfSexAddicts #FamilySecrets #TraumaHealing #ShameRecovery #IITAPSymposium #GenerationalHealing #DysfunctionalFamilies #SexAddictionTherapy #TherapistResources #BreakingTheCycle #SexAddiction

Dr. Ken Adams joins hosts Wendy Conquest and Jeanne Vattuone to explore a topic rarely spoken about: the invisible burden carried by children who grow up in homes shadowed by sexual secrets and betrayal. Drawing from decades of clinical experience, Ken sheds light on how children absorb the confusion, shame, and broken trust that ripple through families affected by sex addiction. This conversation opens a door to understanding the profound impact of betrayal trauma across generations, and the courage it takes to finally name it.

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreHighs and lows of the Couples relationship is a given. What impacts you, may not impact a partner and vice versa. Childhood development personality and characteristic sharping experiences, play a significant part in that process.Sex Addicts need to take their shoes off and step into the shoes of a partner in order to see the relationship from the partner's vantage point and perspective. All clients with Sex and/or Porn Addiction have traits which come from Narcissism. (That does not mean they are necessarily to be diagnosed with NPD - Narcissistic Personality Disorder).Seeing life and the relationship from the vantage point of the impacted partner is going to be very scary for the Addict. It means that they have to set aside Narcissistic tendencies and embrace Empathy for a short while.That really is scary indeed for the Sex/Porn Addict with Narcissistic traits. Most of them believe that they are Empathic and 'do' for others. (I suggest that they are Empathic in a conditional way; only so long as something comes back to reward them for good deeds; but they cannot see it and would strongly object to this statement).I suggest that the antidote to Narcissism is Empathy. They both CANNOT co-exist at a high level of expression in the same person. Just like the same poles of a magnet repel each other, so it is with Narcissism and Empathy. Only one can rule and be (being) used at a higher degree than the other.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Would you consider voting for this Podcast?https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy RelationshiSupport the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWe fall in love with 'Differenceness' and 'Sameness'. Over the years, we can become dissatisfied with the unconscious differences of a partner, that is now in the conscious. So we set about trying to change them to be more like us, since those visible and conscious differences are no longer seemingly acceptable or wanted. We consciously now only want the sameness bits. So the fight over the toilet seat (up or down), and the top off the toothpaste, is in full flow. Yet, it has nothing to do with the toilet seat or the toothpaste (which 'breaks the camel's back') - causing us to retreat from the relationship.Here is a little of what Authors Jacobs, Dicks & Scarff have to say: "Unconscious attraction: Choice or chemistry: we are not aware of it. At an unconscious level we often pick and are picked out by a partner who has had similar earlier life experiences. They may have dealt with these experiences in an opposite way. Unconscious choice of a partner is based on similarity. It may feel that you "complete each other" or have found your "other half........When couples unconsciously choose each other it may be as a second chance to play out old conflicts (from childhood) which were not successfully managed the first time around".We choose partners & are chosen by partners at both conscious & conscious levels.Counselling may explore the idea of "chemistry" between two people: how two people "fit" together to form a "whole".Hendrix & LaKelly add their worth by suggesting:"The Search For "One and Only": So how does this information add to our understanding of romantic attraction? We seem to be highly selective in our choice of mates. In fact, we appear to be searching for a "one and only" with a very specific set of positive and negative traits....... we are each looking for someone who has the predominant character traits of the people who raised us....it is a compelling need to heal old childhood wounds". Aren't we strange and fickle people - us human beings? Might AI do it better for us - partner choice I mean?British Podcast Awards 2025: Would you consider voting for this Podcast?https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | RelaSupport the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreEarly relationships (often with our parents) has a very powerful impact on the blueprint of partner choice. They are unconsciously looked at as being able to repair those childhood wounds. We often seek a blueprint that “fits” ours.When we meet a potential partner, we have an opportunity to re-Attach to a loved person, just like (or better than) the Attachment bonding we had with our parents when we were young. A 'someone' we feel safe with and gives us other familiar feelings which usually make us feel comfortable and have a sense of belonging.We tend to idealise our partners initially. In time, we get very disappointed when they do not live up to our expectations. We feel very let down.Both, may have had Attachment issues from childhood and have separation anxiety, but they may have different coping styles. At some point, when repeated conflict arises, questions and doubt also surface like:“This is not the person I thought I had married.” After the shock, comes denial. The disappointment is so great that you don't allow yourself to see the truth. You do your best to see your partner's negative traits in a positive light. Eventually, however, the denial can no longer be sustained. You feel betrayed.We fall in love with 'sameness' and 'differenceness'. This is why we find “opposites attract”. We are unconsciously searching for and eventually think that we have found 'the one'; our 'other half/better half!'.It should be remembered that all couple fits, serve an emotional and psychological purpose. They are there to provide comfort, a sense of security and wholeness. We are not always aware of our fit until it is challenged or disrupted. Do any of these seem familiar in your relationship?:Babes in the Wood: Cling together in the face of the odds. Unconscious rejection; repressed anger within the relationship; expressed anger at people outside the relationship. They often look the same and will behave in a likeable, affable manner. A couple such as this see all the bad things in the world as belonging in the outside world and not part of themselves. They keep anything bad out of their relationship. The world literally is a “big bad wolf”.Net and Sword: The ‘net' shows all the love & tries to encompass, control or placate the sword. Conscious rejection; deny need or yearning for other. Relationship works well until one partner owns up to their denied feelings & decides they will not be responsible for the others unexpressed feelings. One partner shows all the love and the other, all the rejection. One person expresses all the denied emotions that the other cannot or will not express. This relationship works well until one partner owns up to their denied feelings and decides they will not be responsible for the others unexpressed feelings, often plunging the other into confusion or profound feelings of loss.  Cat and Dog: Characterised by anger, rejection and other destructive emotions. Both are only conscious of the bad in each other, but often will not part because they fear they cannot or will not be able to find a relationship with anybody better. This relationship is characterised by anger, rejection and a host of other destructive emotions. Both are only conscious of the bad in each other and their lives seem like a war zone. Intimacy is regulated by conflict and they often will not part because they fear they cannot or will not be able to find a relationship with anybody better. (I call this one "Tom & Jerry" - characterised by a never-ending chase and never catching the other)Support the show

In todays episode, Patrick shares his thoughts on 3 important principles for a sex addict to remember in recovery: It takes time - don't expect your betrayed partner to recover from discovery quickly. There are many factors that play into their ability to heal and everyone's relationship and trauma level is different. Healing and relational reconciliation is a lifelong commitment. Demonstrate consistency so you can create safety for your partner. Be proactive. Make sure your motivation comes internally - your spouse shouldn't have to push you to move through your own recovery.      If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org Follow Kylene: On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune  On IG: @KyleneTerhune

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhen there is conflict in the couples relationship, sex and intimacy becomes the first casualty which fly out the window. It is very difficult (sometimes feels impossible) to physically touch the person with whom you are in conflict.Yet, touch is exactly what you need to do to begin to break down the walls set in place by conflict. Touch is then so very, very impossible to do.The antidote is to learn to do physical (non-sexual) touch with the person with whom you are in conflict, in order to begin to break down the walls of hostility. But it is hard. "Boy is it hard". But a prize awaits you.Try it. Throw caution to the wind and dive in - with physical (non-sexual) touch. Overcome yourself. Overcome pride. Get you and your ego out of the way. Just do it.Don't talk. Just touch. Just embrace - if you dare. The other person may not welcome your endeavours - initially. (Be warned).Expect the bucking horse. "Get off me. What are you doing. Leave me alone". Its going to happen! Hold on in there for dear life and eventually the bucking horse will reduce. Will calm. Don't talk. Expect the intimidation - which goes with our current culture - "You need to respect my space". There is a prize if you can stay in there. It's worth it.Even as I write these words, I am intimidated because the naysayers in our current culture will be getting ready to chastise me with their disagreement. (The insistence that we must respect another's space and not intrude). That is powerful intimidation.Psychosexual Therapy (I just call it Sex Therapy) with The Kairos Centre, is not about sex. The first thing that we do is to ban sexual intercourse. Then teach how to rebuild intimacy, sensuality and romance at a higher level.Done well, it paves the way for the couple to naturally want to consummate the rebuilt relationship, by progressing to a sexual expression. At that point, I am getting ready to come out of their lives and leave them with the next 80 years to practice this thing called sex!Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | obsessive T

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreUnresolved issues; unprocessed childhood issues, loose canons, unpotted snooker balls - are some of the terms that I use, for the process of work that I do multiple times every day with clients - using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing).Another analogy that I use (but please don't tell my EMDR colleagues that I described it to you like this)! It is as if you own an 8 bedroom mansion house; but for some reason, over lots of years, you never go into 3 of the bedrooms. Over time, the things in those 3 bedrooms (just like many attics), gather cobwebs and dust and are hidden.When Eye Movement begins - known as BLS (Bilateral Stimulation) - it is as if the brain goes into those 3 bedrooms and begins to remove the drapes, blow away the cobbwebbs and finds thing that you did not remember about. You may let out a shriek or exclamation (inside of you and unconsciously). It might sound like this:"....oh my goodness. Oh look. I had forgotten about that. But if that was present at the time of [the negative event] that which I have been carrying all these years, about the event, can't be entirely accurate! I now need to integrate the stuff found in those 3 bedrooms - into my view of the past event. That means I can't continue to see it quite the same way any more, because the stuff I can now see and better understand, is giving me a different/ more accurate knowledge about the events; which was not a full picture that I carried all these years. That makes sense, since the Limbic/Emotional part of the brain must have been making all the decisions during the negative impactful event; the logical reasoning/Pre-Cortex part of the brain would have gone off-line and major decisions being taken based on feelings. I feel, so I do...." Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Here is my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing

My new novel "Hourglass" - about biohacking, seduction, and philosophy - bears the subtitle "Not For Sex Addicts." Did I subtitle it so JUST to be provocative and elicit your curiosity, click, and purchase?No.The subtitle is a selective invitation. A challenge to those with some degree of sexual sovereignty - a mirror held up to their own agency: their capacity to bend the trajectory of their lives through sharper, smarter sexual choices. And the subtitle is my subtle shot across the bow of Sexaholics Anonymous and the broader psychological sphere, which, I contend, disempowers many by giving them the label “Sex Addict.”Here, I level 7 trenchant critiques, breaking down what the mainstream gets wrong about "Sex Addiction" — and why I wrote a spicy science fiction thriller to make sexual self-control SEXY.7:25 “Sex Addict”18:15 Porn Addiction ≠ Sex Addiction22:30 Naughty = Irresistible25:40 Surrender?34:05 The Solution: Prevention38:30 Why I Wrote Hourglass47:00 History of HourglassRead: The Myth of Sex Addiction

In this re-edited interview, we talk with trauma specialist Diane Strickland and creator of the site yourstoryissafehere.com about sex addiction and partners being labeled "codependent." Why women are shamed for their anger. And much more.

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreIn all your getting, get understanding: Men see female promiscuity as a deal breaker. If a man finds that a woman is not sexually active, he will intuitively feel that she is more likely to be faithful. Sexual integrity and sexual loyalty, is the most valued traits in a women, when a man is considering asking her to marry him."Female Choice" and " Paternity Certainty" are significant issues. "Female Choice" is something about the qualities a female is looking for in a long term male partner. Such things like - is he likely to be around, when she is pregnant; carrying the baby and able to hunt and look after them and ensure survival."Paternity Certainty" is about men needing to know that the female is trustworthy. She is the only one that will truly know whether the baby she is carrying, is actually his baby. Therefore, he needs to choose someone who is trustworthy and not promiscuous.So, men categorise females: Are they 'easy' sexually? or are they 'for a good time' only. If they are not 'easy', then they may be categorised in the 'potential marriage partner' category. Most females don't know this dynamic is happening.After sexual intercourse, a woman's evaluation of a man may go up. That is because of the effects of Dopamine and Oxytocin in her metabolism. She gets lots of those bonding hormones during sex.So females are more likely bonding, but males are less likely to be bonding in situations where the Sex is 'easy' and/or 'promiscuous'.Males evaluation of her is likely to be going down within 10 seconds of his ejaculation. The converse may be happening for the female. Her evaluation of him may be going up, due to the effects of the hormones in her body.Folks, the 'Madonna-Whore Complex' is alive and well.Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreGet help: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpThe world's first Online Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Email info@kairos-centre.comGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Re

When “Laura” discovered her husband's sex addiction, it felt like her world cracked apart—over and over again. In this incredibly vulnerable and moving episode, our audience caller opens up to Lucie about the moment of disclosure, the letter that revealed everything, and how she's been piecing her life back together ever since.Laura shares what it's like to be married to someone battling an addiction that's misunderstood and stigmatized—even within recovery communities. From therapy and polygraphs to navigating triggers, broken trust, and spiritual growth, this is a story of devastation, resilience, and radical honesty.Whether you've experienced betrayal or are trying to understand the complexities of addiction in relationships, this conversation will challenge assumptions, break stigmas, and offer hope.Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story. I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone. Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod Find Lucie here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfinkWebsite: https://luciefink.com/ Produced by Dear MediaExecutive Producer: Cloud10See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreThe younger the age that a female experiences sexual arousal, the higher the socio-sexual index she is going to have. (Socio-sexual index is the amount of casual/'promiscuity' sex that a person has).The higher the promiscuity at a younger age, the more open the female will be to all sexual things. In the USA the average age of young females exposure to sexual arousal is aged 10 to 13.Therefore, the arousal template is being set up during that same puberty timeframe. That is a bad time to have that combination. The arousal template is going to potentially seek outlets.More young females are therefore becoming enmeshed in porn, than in previous generations. Very much because of the early female age exposure to sexual arousal. That means we are likely to have many more female porn & sex addicts, than in the past.Combine that with the desire by males for casual sex and multiple partners, that sets up an issue for the future. Two practices collide.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpThe world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.comNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreGen A and their siblings, listen up. Hear this bit of neurobiology. At puberty, males Androgen levels explode at puberty and between aged 13 to 15. It is 10 to 30 times higher at puberty, than pre-puberty.In females, Androgen levels (such as Testosterone - and yep males, females also have levels of Testosterone!) - their's only double and so remain much lower than in females. So, a post-puberty male, is a whole different person to who he was pre-puberty, relative to a post-puberty female.Hence, trying to reason with such males, is now a whole different ball game. (Parents, maybe that explains why you have been pulling your hair out in frustration at this alien stranger living in your house!)Testosterone is a sex seeking hormone. Estrogen is a sex receptive hormone. Therefore, a big sex difference between the two sexes post-puberty is that, reasoning with a post-puberty female, is probably more likely to succeed, than trying to reason with a post-puberty male.This is a big deal re Sex Addiction development.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpThe world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.comNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

The church's belief system on sexuality is so integral, so consequential, to the everyday member's life, that an entire therapy market has blossomed across Utah that revolves around "recovering" from addiction to sexual thoughts. Masturbating? Attracted to a movie star? Kissing someone of the same gender? You've got a problem. And LDS Family Services has just the solution for you. It's just not one that most licensed therapists would ever recommend.Know of a missing woman's case that needs attention? Contact us at someplaceunderneith@gmail.com.Some Place Under Neith produced and edited by Adam Wirtz and Last Podcast Network. Artwork by Kevin Conor Keller, intro song "Subway" by Lunachicks, remixed by Devin Castaldi-Micca. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Some Place Under Neith ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreDon't approach your one year (from last 'Acting out) sobriety, as an end to the work. Don't do 'out of sight out of mind'; 'I never want to see that Recovery Programme material again'. Don't do it like that - at the end.'I can stop reciting my 'Pillars' now. I can stop....I can stop.... I can stop....yipppppeeeeee'Well - Yes and No - you can stop certain things; but not others.It is important to keep doing your Rewards & Treats.It is important to mark anniversary sobriety dates (every year)It is important to keep your Relapse Prevention Plan reviewed and updatedIt is important that you still practice R.U.NIt is important to use your 'Pillars'It is important to keep a Relapse Prevention card on your phone/wallet/purse with essential contact phone numbers updatedIt is important to still subscribe to a Porn BlockerIt is important to 6 monthly review 'Triggers' and how they may have changedIt is important to have a further block of EMDR sessions to address current issues arisingIt is important to review your 'Love Language' and how it may have changedIt is important to review your 'Core Emotional Needs' ExerciseIt is important to review the 'Couples Recovery Plan' - that you signed and datedIt is important to review your 'Values' and the 'Values Exercise' and any ongoing compromisesIt is important to review 'Pinches & Crunches' with your partner..........to achieve a lifetime of Sobriety.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpThe world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.comNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreYou need to applaud yourself on a job well done - to have got this far - at least one year from last Acting out. Now work towards achieving contentment.Life is a balancing act. On the one hand, you need to keep old habits at bay. Yet, on the other hand, you need to build new meaningful activities, to make life a pleasure. Yes, a pleasure!You can't jeopardise quality of life because you are watching for Relapse in the rear view mirror. Relapse is real. Maintaining the gain (of sobriety) is necessary work. Relapse is snapping at the eels of sobriety.Consider creating a Plan of Action to maintain the gain and limit the risk of Relapse. One action plan is to identify 10 High Risk factors. Write them down. Then write down your plan for dealing with each and everyone, when it manifests.That becomes your Safety Plan for long term sobriety. If you can see the triggers; anticipate them; plan for them; practice the plan - then you are part way there to overcoming them. 'Practice makes perfect!'Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpThe world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.comNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreRelapse Prevention tools are for life. Why?Because the neural Pathway that was opened, created and practised for many years, is dominant, but has the potential to be reactivated in an instant. It is easier to reactivate it and it becoming larger than life, for those with a past addiction, than for those without a past addiction.The way that I view it is like this: For those who never had a sex addiction, it will take a little while to establish the neural pathway, drawing them back into repeated practice. For those, however, who previously had the addiction, but closed it down and it lay dormant (not necessary entirely extinct), relapse is as fast as a Tornado jet. Reactivation can go from 0 to 500 knots in seconds. Therefore, you will be on permanent 'watching brief' for triggers that could catapult you back into re-opening the dominant neutral pathway at lightning speed.The Kairos Centre does not consider sobriety has been achieved until a minimum of 1 year from the last 'Acting out'. It will take that sort of time to beginning to cause the neutral pathway to be gathering cobwebs; at the same time, the new replacement positive neutral pathways being developed (from the Recovery Programme tools being practised) - to become the new default. Boundaries, reminders, anniversary celebration of milestones, continued Rewards & Treats, as well as a tried and tested - repeatedly practised - Relapse Prevention plan, are just some of the tools in the 'Avoiding Relapse' and 'Maintenance' armoury - that will be needed.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpThe world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.comNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Caveh Zahedi is one of the most influential independent filmmakers of our time. Jay Duplass, Lena Dunham, Richard Linklater, Greta Gerwig, are all big fans of his 30+ years worth of ultra-autobiographical work (five features, “I am A Sex Addict” perhaps being the most popular). His magnum opus, “The Show About The Show,” started out as a “self-reflexive TV show about its own making” for BRIC TV and has continued despite lawsuits, loss of distribution, re-castings, and many more obstacles, thanks to Zahedi's dogged determination to simply tell the story, mostly through re-enactments using the actual people in his orbit playing themselves, of what happened in his life. He gets a small, but passionate amount of support from his loyal fanbase who want him to see this now decade long journey come to an end in the final season, which is about to be released. Zahedi has done a lot of interviews about his filmmaking, but rarely any, like this one, that focuses on his work as an actor for other filmmakers and in front of his own camera, where he plays a version of himself. He talks about the tonal fine line he has to walk when addressing the camera, nudity (his and others'), actors who work well with his directorial approach (like Emmy Harrington and Jim Fletcher), the rigors of auditioning to play a pedophile rabbi, striving for “non-acting,” and much more. Creative Nonfiction Film Weekend is bringing Zahedi's work (and the man himself) on a UK tour in March 2025. Check here for more info Back To One is the in-depth, no-nonsense, actors-on-acting podcast from  Filmmaker Magazine. In each episode, host Peter Rinaldi invites one working actor to do a deep dive into their unique process, psychology, and approach to the craft.  Follow Back To One on Instagram

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreUndistort your Cognitive Distortions. How?What are Cognitive Distortions? Examples might be: 'All guys do it', 'At least I am no longer visiting porn sites', 'I'll only be on here for 5 minutes, no longer', 'What I do, is not as bad as...', 'What an horrendous day. I deserve....', 'I can't help it'It is reasonable for you to have a conversation with your brain, like this: "Brain, you are supposed to be on my side. There are times when I have found you out. You have not been telling me the whole truth. Whose side are you on in this Addiction Recovery journey? What is this that I am learning about you giving me Cognitive Distortions?"Unless you spot a Cognitive Distortion, you won't realise that you are just 10 Minutes away from 'Acting out' and you are at Preparation Stage on the Cycle of Sex Addiction:ACTING OUT ---> REGRET --> RECONSTITUTION -->DORMANT -->TRIGGER --PREPARATION -->ACTING OUT -->When you recognise and see the Cognitive Distortion, don't debate with it; don't question its truth; don't linger; don't procrastinate. Immediately R.U.N. (We will look at R.U.N in a future episode).For now, you need space away from the place where the 'Acting out' WILL take place, in order to undistorted your Cognition - your Thinking.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpThe world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.comNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |  

WWE trying new things is understandable, but some of these changes were unforgivable! Simon Miller presents 10 Small WWE Character Tweaks That Became DISASTERS!ENJOY!Follow us on Twitter:@SimonMiller316@WhatCultureWWEFor more awesome content, check out: whatculture.com/wwe Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Episode 266, Mark & Steve respond to a raw and heart-felt submission by a betrayed partner. They explore the complexities of sex addiction and betrayal trauma, addressing whether compulsive sexual behaviors stem from addiction or are simply acts of revenge in a relationship. It highlights the secrecy, justification, and emotional dysfunction that often accompany addiction, emphasizing that acting out is rarely just about sex but more about numbing emotional distress. The unpredictability of an addict's behavior can be deeply confusing for their partner, as they cycle through periods of neglect and attentiveness. The article stresses that addiction is rarely resolved by sheer willpower and requires structured recovery efforts, therapy, and accountability.Here's a past PBSE podcast that deals with what justifications around "porn substitutes" not being within the realm of addiction—"It's NOT an Addiction if I'm Only Using “Porn Substitutes”—Right???"The emotional rollercoaster experienced by partners of addicts is another key focus. Many addicts may exhibit changed behavior when confronted with the potential loss of their relationship, but true recovery is determined by long-term consistency and genuine effort, not temporary remorse. The article warns against false promises like “I can stop anytime” and highlights that sustainable change requires addressing the underlying emotional wounds that drive compulsive behaviors. Without proper intervention, the cycle of betrayal and relapse is likely to continue.Finally, the article urges partners to set firm boundaries, demand real accountability, and not rely on verbal reassurances alone. True healing involves transparency, commitment, and professional support. Partners are encouraged to focus on their own healing by seeking therapy and support networks, as their emotional well-being is just as important as their partner's recovery. While hope is possible, it must be based on concrete actions rather than empty words, ensuring a safer and healthier path forward.For betrayed partners confused by their addict partner's mistreatment, here's a past PBSE podcast—The “Abuse Cycle” Par Two—The Impact of Abuse on Betrayal Trauma and HealingFor a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  "Is My Partner a Sex Addict or Just Getting Back at Me? He says He can Stop anytime."Is My Partner a Sex Addict or Just Getting Back at Me? He says He can Stop anytime.Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

In this episode of Your Living Proof Podcast, hosts Danny and Emily Deaton dive deep into a topic that often feels isolating and confusing for many: loving a partner struggling with porn or sex addiction. Whether you're in a relationship with someone facing these challenges or simply seeking to understand more, Danny and Emily offer 5 practical and compassionate tips to help you navigate the complexities of love, trust, and healing. Our Website: https://yourlivingproof.com/ Our FREE Masterclass: https://yourlivingproof.com/free-masterclass To Watch this Episode on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@your_living_proof Sex Addiction Study:https://fightthenewdrug.org/cambridge-neuroscientist-valerie-voon-porn-drug-addict-brain/

In Episode 265, Mark & Steve discuss how recovery from porn and sex addiction often begins with external motivators, such as wanting to “get clean for her” or save a relationship. These external pressures serve as a crucial starting point, especially when addicts feel incapable of self-driven change. However, while these motivations may bring someone to the recovery process, they alone are insufficient for long-term success. Sustained recovery requires a shift toward internal motivation, where individuals focus on long-term sobriety, self-improvement, personal growth, and reclaiming their self-worth. This transition, while gradual, enables addicts to build a foundation of resilience, fueled by intrinsic rewards like freedom, self-respect, and authenticity.Here's a past PBSE podcast article that asks the question—As an Addict, are you “Weaponizing your Weaknesses” as a Reason to NOT Commit to and Live “Real” Recovery?For betrayed partners, navigating the complexities of recovery can be particularly challenging. The cyclical nature of progress and relapse often leads to emotional exhaustion, underscoring the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care. Partners are encouraged to support recovery without taking ownership of the addict's journey, allowing them to decide what they are willing to tolerate. Recovery for couples requires open communication and mutual respect, creating opportunities to rebuild trust and foster collaboration. When both parties commit to growth, the relationship becomes stronger and more fulfilling over time.In a past PBSE podcast, Mark & Steve address a very painful question that betrayed partners often ask—Do I Have to Accept that my Addict Partner, even in Successful Recovery, could Betray Me Again?!Another critical misconception in recovery is the idea of hitting “rock bottom” as a prerequisite for change. While dramatic wake-up calls can sometimes prompt action, lasting recovery stems from deliberate decisions, education, and early intervention. Addicts are encouraged to develop a support network and focus on internal transformation rather than external pressure. Ultimately, recovery is a progressive and collaborative process. By embracing setbacks as opportunities for growth and fostering open communication, addicts and their partners can cultivate a life of integrity, authenticity, and connection.In this PBSE podcast episode, Mark & Steve help addicts in recovery and their betrayed partners in "Defining Slips & Relapses"For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  "As a Porn/sex Addict, does, "I Want to Get Clean for Her," or "Be Worthy of Her," work as a motive for Real Recovery?"Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

In episode 264, Mark & Steve discuss how reconciling with a partner who has struggled with porn or sex addiction is a deeply personal and challenging decision that requires a thorough assessment of their recovery progress and the betrayed partner's own emotional readiness. The trauma of betrayal can leave partners feeling devastated and uncertain about the future, making it crucial to carefully consider whether the addict's changes are genuine and sustainable. True recovery is not just about abstinence; it involves consistent behavioral changes, emotional growth, and accountability. Partners must look for tangible signs of progress such as transparency, professional support, and a sincere effort to rebuild trust over time.Equally important in this journey is the establishment of firm, non-negotiable boundaries to ensure past mistakes are not repeated. Boundaries empower the betrayed partner to regain control over their healing while providing a framework for the relationship to move forward in a healthy way. At the same time, partners must take an honest look at their own readiness—processing past pain, ensuring they have a solid support system, and being willing to walk away if necessary. Self-care, therapy, and peer support can all play essential roles in this process.Reconciliation, if pursued, should be approached with caution and a structured plan, including gradual re-engagement and frequent check-ins to evaluate progress. Watching for red flags such as defensiveness, inconsistencies, and emotional manipulation is crucial to avoid further heartbreak. Ultimately, reconciliation is only worth the risk if both partners are fully committed to healing and growth, creating a foundation for a stronger, more honest relationship. Trusting one's instincts and prioritizing self-respect will be key in making the right decision.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  "My Porn/Sex Addict Partner Put Me Through Hell!  Now He's in Recovery & Wants to Reconcile—is it Worth the Risk?"Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

In Episode 263, Mark & Steve address the devastating impact of betrayal within relationships affected by porn or sex addiction, focusing on the pivotal question, How do I know when I know enough? It discusses the catastrophic effects of betrayal trauma, which shatters trust, devastates intimacy, and leaves partners questioning the foundation of their relationships. The process of recovery is explored through the lens of both betrayed and betraying partners, emphasizing the importance of transparency, patience, and professional guidance to rebuild trust and establish a sense of safety.This episode delves into the concept of "full disclosure," highlighting its limitations and the importance of balancing the need for transparency with the potential harm of unnecessary details. By navigating this delicate process with professional support, partners can identify what information is essential for healing and what may hinder progress. Disclosure is framed as a collaborative, evolving journey where both parties must engage in open communication and a shared commitment to healing, with a focus on long-term trust and emotional safety.Here's a past PBSE podcast that goes into much greater detail on what a Formal Disclosure Looks LikeBeyond disclosure, the episode emphasizes the importance of rebuilding safety, trust, and intimacy through ongoing accountability, transparency, and personal growth. It underscores that healing is a non-linear, deeply personal journey that requires resilience, intentionality, and mutual effort. While betrayal creates profound challenges, it also presents an opportunity for transformation and the possibility of redefining relationships in ways that prioritize honesty, connection, and growth.In a past PBSE podcast, Mark & Steve talk about that fact that There is NO Statute of Limitations on Feelings, Betrayal Trauma and Disclosure.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  "As the Betrayed Partner of a Porn/Sex Addict, How Do I Know if/When I Know Enough About His Secret Behaviors?"Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

#men #masculinity #shame #kindness #curiosity #arousal #desire #attraction #story #vulnerability #growth #abuse #harm #church You can CONNECT with Chris and Scott at https://www.sexcessfulmen.com. UPCOMING RETREATS and EVENTS https://www.wegotballspod.com We will be LIVE every week on Fridays, 11am CDT, on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@WeGotBallsPod Get NEW MERCH at our online shop: https://illume.shop/collections/we-got-balls SUBSCRIBE NOW so you don't miss any exciting episodes.

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreTriggers don't play fair. They are often unpredictable (like a music track which comes on) and moves you from chilled to a fight to maintain sobriety. So underhand. Not a nice play partner.Carolyn Springer talks about the aftermaths of Triggers, from the sense of Shame, Self-blame, failure, powerlessness, critical self-talk, being out of control.What is this 'Shame of being Triggers?' Anyone identify with that expression?Are there only three types of Triggers - which need managing? Not sure about that, but Carolyn Springer knows better:1. Uncomfortable Associations2. Distressing Reminders3. True TriggersShe advocates splitting the problem up into those three types of triggers; work out a strategy for each, whilst asking if the Trigger is an Association, a Reminder or a True/Real/Emergency/Fight Flight Freeze type Trigger.https://www.carolynspring.com/three-types-of-trigger-three-techniques-for-taming/ Begin the process of empowering self with knowledge - from "learning to manage my critical self-talk and self-soothe rather than lacerate myself after being triggered was a key waymaker on my journey of recovery...."Remember the correct order. Don't first of all go after changing behaviours. First, change your thinking/(cognition) and in so doing, you change your life, because changed behaviour will follow afoot.In all your getting, get understanding. In getting understanding, gain wisdom - over time. No quick fixes remember. Don't beat up your brain for the ways it is trying to help you, even though it is doing so amiss - at the moment. Let The Kairos Centre teach you and journey with you.Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreGet the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpThe Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.comNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | 

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreThe cave man/cave woman response of Fight/Flight/Freeze, is alive and well. Don't beat your brain up too badly. It is just doing what it was designed to do to protect you.The options it chooses or gravitates to, are at times, rather dubious and for Sex Addicts. The relief only lasts 5 minutes, but a much longer regret and repercussion timeframe. The brain needs re-training.Stress, tension, anxiety, worry, boredom, loss, rejection, conflict and fear are just a few of the adverse emotions which cause loss of homeostasis and ramps up the brain into action - to protect you with Fight/Flight/Freeze. Realise, however, it isn't only negative emotions that trigger a desire. So also, does reward entitlement, which plants the seed of 'I deserve', 'I'm entitled', 'I earned it', 'It's my right','give me lushness'; often flowing from an existing dopamine high from other (non-sexual) activities. The well carved out grove of entitlement, fires the neural pathway into action. It gets it's cue from the smoke alarm in the brain - the Amygdala. The message it gets is 'let's do what we always do'. No thought is needed or indeed can be reasoned, since the logical brain is nowhere to be found. It has gone offline.There is no point at all shouting "The cave man/cave woman alarm isn't telling the truth". It is futile. 'Protect and survive' kicks in. 'Acting out" is the drug of choice. 'Feels' too powerful to fight. But even 'Feelings' ain't telling the truth. There is a conspiracy at work and you are losing.Same old, same old, same old patterns of behaviours galvanise and will repeatedly do so until you beginning to carve out a new positive hamster wheel habit of behaviours; a new neural pathway response to those emotions.12 steps attendance is needed, but on its own, it mostly is not enough. You need an A-Z Recovery Programme. Stop flirting around the edges with lesser endeavours. Isn't it time to take first steps to craving out that new positive neural pathway/Hamster wheel/habit - which serves you better. A new beginning beckons and awaits you. Let the Kairos Centre come alongside you to reclaim your quality of living life - without shame - bringing colour back to life.Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreWant to know more? Click the link and come get me.Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpDiscover the real, authentic you - without shame.The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. www.kairos-centre.com.Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivit

Virginia finally completes her mission.By cb summers. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. I pulled the blanket off his lap. His cock was poking out of the hole in his pants. I was on my knees on the bench next to him, so I scrunched down to take a nice good look at it in the moonlight. I pushed his semi-tented pants down, to expose all fifteen inches of him.“You have a beautiful penis, Kris.” I traced my fingers over the veins and other details that I'd studied on ‘Santa's Little Helper' all year. It grew slightly, stiffening at my touch. “Your cock saw me through several near-relapses on my road to recovery. Whenever I felt the need to go Santa hunting, I'd put you inside me and make it through another day.”And now I was touching the real thing. Unlike the dildo, which was enchanted with elf magic to make it smaller, I sadly knew that Kris' cock would never fit inside any of my holes. I'd fucked enough men to know that for sure. But I wrapped my hands around it and began to stroke it up and down, gently, lovingly, making Kris moan. I kissed his cock lovingly all over, and licked it to provide some lubrication for my hands. Kris moaned, leaned back, and put his arms out so they were resting on the back of the bench. He trusted me. I unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his broken fly, and opened it up so I could fondle his hot chestnuts. They were huge… bigger than a pair of baseballs, but very soft and covered with downy pubic hair. They moved in my hand, vibrating, rolling… throbbing with ancient power. He groaned and leaned back even further. I got off the bench and stood in front of him and began stroking the incredible length of his cock, as I kissed and sucked and tongued the sensitive underside of its massive head, drooling all over to keep him well lubricated. It was amazing! I felt a ring ting tingling in my panties that got hotter and hotter. Soon I was whimpering and moaning, and cumming from the sheer excitement of holding Kris Kringle's supernaturally beautiful cock in my hands.“Oh… Virginia. You better watch out… I'm cumming.”“Cum for me Kris,” I moaned, stroking him harder, and I felt a surge of cum streaking up the shaft. I put my lips over the tip as wide as I could and felt his hot, creamy cum splash into the back of my throat. Yes. Snowbell was right. Santa's cum tasted just like eggnog. I swallowed, two, three, four big mouthfuls. A lot of it leaked out the side, but I got on my knees and licked every drop off, starting with his balls and going upward until he was clean again. It was absolutely delicious! I'd swallowed a truckload of cum in my time, but nothing that tasted as wonderful as this. When I finished, I looked up at him and played with the hole on top with my tongue. His azure eyes were fixed on my tongue. More cum oozed out the tip and I sucked it up with my kisses. During this whole cock cleaning process, his cock didn't soften at all. He was still hard as a tree trunk.But then I saw him look forward, and his face tensed up. I turned to see the bright lights of Santa's factory in the distance ahead. It was the most amazing non-cock related sight I'd ever seen. I saw a sprawling, snowy village of miniature houses. Off in the distance there was a huge factory with large stained glass windows. Everything was strung with multicolored lights and decorated with oversized ornaments… all was merry and bright! Kris draped the blanket over his erection again. His face was nervous. The time must have been around 7 P.M. by this time. And time was running out.I patted his hand and said, “We'll figure it out. But before we get there. Tell me what's happened since last Christmas.”“Well, after mailing off the all the missed deliveries, Mary went on a vacation. Usually we do that together, but this year I could tell she didn't want me with her. She took her thirty elves, including Snowbell and left me alone in the biggest sex club on earth. There were no toys to make, no letters to read, no lists to compile. It was the most wonderful time of the year… a fucking free for all. I just fucked and fucked and fucked, indulging my desires. I had favorites: Blizzard and Cookiedough and Icicle, the kitchen elf. Oh, boy… Icicle loved to hit my cock with a rolling pin until I came on her. That was pretty weird. But mostly I just had straight sex with any and every female I wanted to. They wanted me to anoint them, and I anointed the hell out of them. I made friends with a few of the male elves who were, shall we say, not as bisexual as most of them. That way I could have orgies without having to worry about some overexcited male elf shooting his jizz in my face. Having some buddies was actually kind of fun.”“The party went on until Mary returned in April. She walked right in on us, having a full-bore, all hands orgy in the main factory floor, me and all ten thousand elves. I'd love to describe that party for you, but I was blotto on elf milk the whole time. It's a blur. Anyway, Mary saw me for the first time, actually fucking the elves, and knowing a thing and seeing a thing are not the same thing. I'm pretty sure that was the straw that broke the reindeer's back. She packed her bags and left.”“Where did she go?”“I didn't know for a few months. But after a while she sent me a letter from the South Pole. She'd built a factory there and wanted me to send her the list of adult believers so she could keep up the sex toy thing. She was planning to deliver the sex toys herself, mailing them if she had to. Mary may be immortal now, but she doesn't have the Christmas Spirit required to deliver millions of toys in a few hours' time… actually, neither do I anymore… Anyway I gave her the list and wished her good luck.”“Are you getting a divorce?”“I don't think we can get divorced. Sure, we were married in a church, but that was just a formality. We were married, as far as the universe is concerned, when she said 'yes'. I think she'll still be immortal, but I don't really know how it's supposed to work. But for now, she's living the life she's chosen with her elves. It's like she's a polygamist with thirty wives. But I'm no one to judge. I have ten thousand eager sex partners myself. I guess we both fucked up big time crossing that boundary.”I didn't want to say it, but it sounded to me like Mary had her elf obsession under control. She was going on trips, building a factory, making plans for the future. Her relationship with those elves, strange though it may be, was clearly optimistic and structured. Kris on the other hand…“Anyway, I wouldn't have been able to get through the year without Blizzard. She made sure all the letters were read, because I wasn't up to it, and made sure all the toys were completed. She even had to check the naughty or nice list for me, because I could only manage to check it once. I've been a mess I can't concentrate for more than a few hours before I want to go find a pretty little elf to fuck. It feels so right when I'm doing it, but a few minutes later I'm trolling again. But I don't think Blizzard, or any of the others have a clue that I've lost the Christmas Spirit. They still think everything is hunky dory… look at them down there.”We were headed toward a brightly illuminated landing strip. A long line of elves were bringing toys out of the factory, and placing them carefully in a black sack. Clearly there were too many presents to fit in that one sack, but they kept putting them in, and it showed no signs of getting any fuller. It was Santa's magic sack! It looked pretty threadbare, but it certainly seemed to work!Kris circled the landing area, and the elves, hearing the sound of the reindeer's jingling bells, waved up at us. I couldn't help myself. I had to wave back. Kris was right! They were beautiful! More beautiful than his description had prepared me for! I knew that if we landed, he'd go right out and grab one, and start fucking her. I could see it in his eyes.“Kris, I think I know what to do.”“What?”“I think you need to fuck me.”His eyes opened wide. A leer spread on his face.“Don't look at me like that, Kris.”He shook the look off his face, “Sorry, Virginia. Habit. You were saying?”“I don't know why… but I think that my problem and your problem are linked somehow. Linked cosmically in ways that neither of us could possibly understand. All I know is that I feel the pathological need to fuck Santa. There's got to be some sort of reason for that. I mean, it led me to you. It took longer than I thought, but in the end, I found you.”He had a serious expression on his face. “What do you think that will accomplish?”“I don't know. I don't even think you'll fit inside me… in fact, I'm certain you won't. But we have to try. There's nothing else we can do.”“Where?” he asked, taking the blanket off, freeing his cock, a desperate expression on his face, “Here?”“No,” I said, pointing off in the distance. “There.”He saw where I was pointing and he turned the reindeer in that direction. We soared over the hills of snow.We landed by the North Pole. It was located about half a mile from the factory. The factory had originally been located at the North Pole, but the ice had drifted over the centuries. But Kris had dutifully moved the twenty-foot, candy-striped pole every year to the correct geographic location. The area around the pole was dark, but there was a candle lantern on top, which bathed the immediate area in a dim, warm glow.We stepped out onto the ice. I put my hand on the ice-covered pole. I could feel the cold, but it felt pleasant. “I can't get over how weird it is not to be bothered by the cold.”“Yeah,” he said, “It took me a while to get used to it too. You can feel it, but instead of freezing your outsides, it just makes you feel warmer inside. The opposite happens too, you know. I deliver toys to the tropics without breaking a sweat.”“Okay,” I said, suddenly horny as hell, “enough chit chat. Let's do this thing.”I started taking off my clothes. But Kris put his arms on my shoulders, calming me. “Virginia.” He said nothing else. Just hearing him say my name calmed me. He picked me up and cradled me in his arms. He lifted my short, black bangs, and kissed the scar on my forehead. Then he kissed my nose, and my cheeks, and finally, my mouth. Then he laid me down in the large snowdrift at the base of the Pole, and I looked up at him as he took off his gloves and coat. He was dimly lit by the lantern, but the Northern Lights were dancing in the sky behind him. It was the most romantic sight of my life. His eyes were swimming with love.“I've been meaning to tell you, Virginia, what a beautiful woman you are.”I blushed. I'd been told that before, but never by Santa Claus… not the real one anyway.“I can really see the elf in you.”“Elf?” I replied.“Oh yes, didn't you know? Your ancestors are from Iceland. Everyone in Iceland has a bit of elf blood in them. Some, like you, have quite a lot. I can see it in your eyes.”I think that was the most wonderful thing I've ever heard in my life.“In fact… I should have said before now… The night I met you at the Sex Addicts meeting… when you introduced yourself to me… well… I knew you of course. I've always known you, but I'd never seen you before. I had no idea what you looked like. I was taken aback.”“Because I look like an elf?”“Yes, in part. But I felt the sudden, powerful need to make love to you.”“Well, of course. You're a sex addict.”“No… I didn't want to fuck you… well, I wanted to do that too, but more importantly, I wanted to make love to you. My feelings were so deep, so fast, I didn't know what to do with them. So I stopped coming to the meetings… I was afraid…”“Kris, are you afraid to love?”“No. I was afraid my feelings weren't real… because you reminded me so much of her.”We were silent for a moment. Then I knew. “Snowbell.”He smiled, tears welling up in his eyes. “You look just like her. You must be related to her somehow. You have her eyes, her chin, her figure, her voice… her laugh even. I thought I only loved you because you reminded me of her.”“Don't be silly, Kris,” I said with a giggle. “You only loved her because she reminded you of me. Only, you didn't know it yet.”He smiled. He knew it was true. As impossible as it was, the universe had meant for us to be together, and he'd projected his feelings for me on that pretty little elf. “Snowbell is an elf, Kris. She can't love you, not really, not the way humans love. But I can. I do.”Kris, looked down at me and removed his shirt. He had an amazing body. He was fat but not flabby. He'd been fucking like a rabbit for a solid year… that can tone a guy up. I could see the muscles rippling in his arms, just under the layer of fat. He had curly white hair on his chest, and beautiful, well defined pecs. He threw the blanket to the ground, and grabbed the waistband of his ripped pants. He pulled outward, in one powerful move, shredding the pants right off his body.“Those pants were too small for me anyway,” he said. I didn't laugh. I was transfixed. Saint Nick stood over me, silhouetted by the aurora borealis, naked to my eyes. His beard had never looked so white and majestic as it did right now.He got down on one knee and said, “Marry me.”I said, “Yes.”He smiled and said, “I now pronounce us husband and wife.”My eyes filled with tears. They froze solid as soon as they dripped off my face. “Can you do that?” I asked,“I can do anything. I'm Santa Claus.”He bent over, kissing me on the lips for a long time. Then he began to undress me. He unbuttoned my shirt took it off. He kissed my shoulders as he unhooked my bra. When he removed that, he said, “You even have her breasts. Only your nipples aren't blue.” I laughed and he bent over to suckle my perfectly pink nipples, sending a shock of pleasure through my body. I ran my hands through his snowy locks, feeling his beard tickling my belly. I unbuttoned my pants and kicked of my shoes. I was breathless in growing anticipation and need.He helped me pull off my pants and panties, and he paused for a moment, just looked with love at my naked body lying in the warm snow bank.“Virginia, you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Elf or human.” Then he took one of my legs in his hands and kissed the long scar, his azure eyes full of lust and love. My eager hand found his cock, and I stroked him with a burning hunger… a need that I hadn't indulged in a year and had never successfully quenched.I looked at him and noticed a strange light shimmering on his face. Then he noticed it on my face too. We both looked up and saw a ten-foot circle of elves surrounding us. The elves were naked, and their bodies were glowing. The fine glitter in their skin was vibrating and sparkling in the dim light. Swirls of colors went around and around seeming to pass from elf to elf. The colors were the same as the colors in the Northern Lights above us, pale greens and pinks, blues and purples… The elves were linked somehow to the aurora borealis. The colors grew brighter and brighter, as Kris and I watched, transfixed.Then the elves started singing. The song was an ancient yuletide carol. I didn't recognize it, but I found it beautiful and brimming with primal power. The elves were smiling with happiness as they sang. I saw that they were holding hands, row upon row. Farther back, the elves began to climb up on each other's shoulders, each row outward growing higher and higher, forming an elfin amphitheater with Kris and I, and the North Pole, in the center.We looked at each other, and our lust could wait no longer. He knelt between my knees and pulled my legs up, lifting my bottom out of the snow. His impossibly huge cock head pressed against my much too small pussy, and I despaired that he could ever possibly enter me.But then a miracle occurred.I began to glow. Tiny flecks of light appeared beneath my skin, glinting all the colors of the rainbow. My pale skin changed slightly in hue, to a pale aqua blue. I felt something… an ancient power flow through every pore of my body. I began to tingle. In a good way, like the way you feel when you hop into a warm bed on a cold winter night. Kris was looking at me, eyes widening in amazement. I felt the tingling sensation run through my limbs down to my pussy. The tuft of black pubic hair on top turned snowy white.“Fuck me, Kris!” I shouted, “Fuck me, Santa!”Kris pulled me onto his rock hard shaft. He felt huge inside me, but it didn't hurt at all. It felt like a warmth penetrating me. He went all the way in, just as 'Santa's Little Helper' had done, until his balls slapped against my ass. I could feel his cock deep inside me, pressing up into the bottom of my heart! Holy holly, it felt great!!! I could feel my vaginal muscles contracting over his cock as he pulled himself out. It seemed as if I could control them now. I'd never been very dutiful about doing Kegel exercises, but now I didn't need them. My vagina was enchanted by the elfin magik of old.Kris lifted me off the ground and fucked me standing up, slamming all fifteen inches of his Yule log in and out of me, slapping his big balls against my narrow ass. His arms were huge and as strong as oaken beams, and I was completely in his power. But then I realized I also had him in my power with the undulations I could perform with my brand new vaginal muscles. I felt an orgasm sweep through my entire body. I shrieked in joy. I was cumming now, cumming hard, and I felt my breasts grow hot. Squirts of liquid shot out of my nipples. It was an amazing feeling, like having the greatest piss you ever had after holding it in for eighteen hours, multiplied by twenty. That good! Kris held my breast in his hand and aimed my nectar stream at his mouth and tasted it. The other breast was shooting straight up, so I caught some of that I my mouth. Oh! Peppermint schnapps, just as he'd said! I felt the intoxication going straight to my head! I never was much of a drinker, so I drank no more of it.I came again and again, as he held me aloft, tirelessly fucking me while the elf choir sang all around us.Kris' face finally screwed up, and I clamped my pussy down on his cock to squeeze off his orgasm, as he'd described Blizzard doing once with her sphincter. I found it easy to do, so powerful were my muscles now. Once his need to cum passed, he put me on my hands and knees in the snow bank and fucked me from behind. I could see that my bangs had turned snowy white… then I saw my shadow on the snow. I reached up to be sure… yes, my ears had grown long tapering points. I hadn't shrunk in size, I was still the same size that I'd always been, and as far as I could tell, my tongue hadn't changed, thank god… but my insides… oh, I was so deep now! I felt the fat head of his enormous cock slamming against the underside of my heart, but it didn't hurt at all. Why would it? I was an elf!I heard Kris grunting again, but I didn't squeeze him off this time.“Cum in me Santa,” I moaned, as I had another powerful orgasm. My breasts squirted hot milk into the snow, which sent up billowing clouds of steam all around us! Kris' tempo got harder and faster and he shouted in a deep booming voice, “Santa Claus is cumming!!!”I felt his warm semen jetting into me more powerfully than I'd ever felt it before, and I'd had a lot of cum shot into me over the years. It was relentless! It felt like gallons of the stuff. It flooded out of my pussy around his thrusting cock, and I reached down and collected several handfuls, bringing them up to my mouth to slurp. I love eggnog straight out of the carton, but this way is even better. Straight out of Santa's cock!Kris came for five solid minutes, fucking me the whole time, but finally he bucked and slowed. I could feel his cock softening inside me as we collapsed in the snow. He reached around and fingered my clit, bringing me to another orgasm, which sent showers of peppermint schnapps all around us. He tried to catch some in his mouth.I said, “Don't drink too much, honey. You have presents to deliver.”I was just what Santa needed. Someone to love him and keep him in line.When my orgasm had passed, we just lay there for a while, listening to the rest of the elf song. When it was over, a hush fell over the North Pole. I could feel something, invisible, yet palpable… in the air there was a feeling of Christmas.A shapely, and beautifully naked female elf stepped out of the circle, and walked up to us. Kris sat up, cuddling me in his arms.“Blizzard. I'd like to introduce you to my new wife, Virginia.”Blizzard bowed to me, “Hello Mrs. Kringle.”Mrs. Kringle? It hit me then. I was Mrs. Kringle now. Virginia fuckin Kringle!“Hello, Blizzard. It's nice to meet you. Kris has told me all about you. You're a very special elf.”“All elves are special, Virginia. Even half-elves like you.” She smiled. “Now, Mr. Kringle, time is running short. There are toys to deliver, children to make happy. Are you feeling the Christmas Spirit?” She held out her hand to him.Kris smiled. We looked at each other. We both felt it. We'd saved Christmas. We both knew that from now on our troubles would be out of sight. I'd been right all along. All Santa Claus ever needed, really, was to fuck me.By cb summers for Literotica

Kris commissions his signature ‘Santa's Dildo'.By cb summers. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. When I woke up, I had a splitting headache. Blizzard was standing on a stool in front of my chair, licking the last of Sugar Plum's cum out of my beard with her long, sensitive tongue. She was wearing a white robe, one of Mary's new uniforms. I waited until she was done.“What time is it?” I mumbled.“Three hours after closing time,” she answered. “I'm glad the quitting bell didn't awaken you. It arose such a clatter.”I felt like throwing up. Blizzard grabbed a trashcan without me even needing to ask. She always knew what I wanted before I did. She was such a good elf. She held the can under my mouth.“I don't feel so good.”“You drank too much elf milk. So did Indigo. I had to send her home early. Everyone else stayed late to get their work done, just in case you're wondering. And be of good cheer, your headache will pass.”I saw the ripped up shreds of the secretary costume in the trashcan.“How did you know?”“I saw how you looked at Holly. I knew what you were thinking. You wanted to anoint her, but you didn't because you loved Mrs. Kringle. But you don't love her any more, do you?”“No.”“I thought not. I am very perceptive. And I don't think you're going to vomit after all.” She was right. I was feeling better.She put the trashcan on the floor. “I suppose I should tell you that I encouraged Holly to present herself as a gift to you. I felt you needed it. It cannot be good to go so many years without anointing anyone. I even made the pretty underwear for her. I wore the same pair last night, though I had to take them in a bit.”“Really? Those were the same panties?”“Yes. Imagine my surprise when you passed on the opportunity. Humans. Very difficult to understand.”“It's a good thing I turned her down. I might have injured her.”“Yes, but I didn't know how large you were at the time. Your elf servants have seen you naked of course, but apparently you triple in size when you harden. I am perceptive, but I didn't think about that. Silly me. So, it's definitely a good thing you didn't attempt to mount Holly. She had a very small pussy.”“How do you know?”“Oh, I made love to her the morning after you turned her down… well, she looked so sad and so horny. She didn't like my tongue at first… it really is quite long, even for an Elf, but she quickly learned to enjoy it. And I learned to enjoy the flavor of human pussy. It's really quite nice.”Even all these years later, the thought of Blizzard going down on Holly was enough to give me a hard-on. “You… had sex with Holly?”“She'd done such a good job as my assistant, I thought it was the least I could do. I anointed her with my milk. She was very happy when she left.” Then Blizzard kissed me on the lips and said, “Thank you, Mr. Kringle, for the secretary's day gift.”I smiled. I felt warm and alive. “Thank you, Blizzard, for the fantasy come true.”She laughed a high, musical laugh. “My pleasure. But it was only fantasy for the first few minutes.” She squeezed my growing erection, “I've got to go home, Mr. Kringle. Maybe tomorrow.”She hopped off my lap and started walking toward the door. I looked around and noticed that the cum had all been cleaned up. I'd have never known an orgy had happened here, other than the stains on my own clothes.“Is that sort of thing normal for elves?”“Not really, Santa. We never have love-share during working hours.” She said as she was walking out the door.“Then why did you do it today?”“You wanted us to, of course,” With a wink of her eye, she closed the door. Blizzard was a perceptive elf, but not a wise one. She knew what I wanted without needing to ask, but she didn't seem to know that sometimes what we want isn't necessarily what's good for us.SCENE 5:SAVING CHRISTMASAs Kris told his story, he rarely looked at me but up at the ceiling instead, perhaps afraid I might be judging him. He needn't have worried. I was sitting cross-legged on the other bed, listening with rapt attention, totally turned on. During his story he'd grown hard every time he got to one of the ‘good parts'. But each time he'd brought his knees up to hide what was happening. But I could see the outlines of his massive shaft inside the loose fitting trousers. I found myself salivating, itching to slip onto his bed and unleash his manhood. But I had a modicum of willpower now, so I forced myself to sit still and listen.When he started describing the crazy elf orgy in his office his eyes glazed over, lost in his memories, unaware that he was getting hard. Much to my surprise and delight, Kris' cock grew larger and larger until his pants were tenting straight up a good ten inches. Then, when he got to the part of his story where he sodomized Blizzard, his cock grew even longer and slowly ripped through the fabric of his loose (but not loose enough) pants. My god! He wasn't lying, it could actually do that! I watched in amazement as the head of his massive pole emerged through the splitting seam, encased at first in his silky red boxers, which were decorated with Christmas trees. But soon the insistent bulge ripped through the silk too, and what to my wondering eyes should appear? Santa's fifteen inch cock! It was darker than the rest of his skin, ruddy and throbbing with his hot blood. The boxers and pants settled, revealing every inch of his throbbing Santahood. I thought he'd been bragging when he how big it was. But I shouldn't have doubted him. Kris Kringle never lies!I'd seen hundreds of cocks on my cross-country quest, from the tiniest little tadgers to the world's biggest pricks. I thought I'd seen them all, but I was wrong. This was definitely the biggest one of them all, by far! I don't particularly care how big a man's penis is when he's fucking me. It always feels great. In fact, anything over two inches thick is downright uncomfortable. But I've always loved to see and hold huge shlongs in my hands, ever since I'd given a bath to fake homeless Santa. Whenever I came across a hung Santa, I'd usually give him a hand job while he fingered me. Sometimes I didn't even need that much to have an orgasm, it was so exciting for me. So looking at Kris' abominable snowman made me instantly wet. I could barely concentrate on his fascinating story.When he finished talking about the orgy, his cock started getting softer, and he only noticed it when it flopped heavily over onto his thigh.“Damn it!” shouted Kris. He sat up in bed to cover himself. His cheeks turned beet red, “I'm so sorry. I hate when it does that!”“It's okay, Kris. Believe me, I've seen it all.” He smiled at me and fumbled his cock back into the ripped hole. I even enjoyed watching that. “I hope that's never happened when kids are around.”“No. I only see kids when I'm delivering toys, and to do that I need all my concentration on the task. I need to be filled, suffused with love and the spirit of Christmas. If I'm thinking about anything else… like naked elves for instance, I just can't do it. I mean, I have to fly my sleigh around to millions of houses in a few hours' time.”“Yes, how do you do that? I've always wanted to know!”“I don't know… I just do. I go into some sort of time warp, I guess. I don't know how it works. It just does. If I'm in the 'Christmas Spirit', that is.” The expression on his face suddenly became desperate and tears filled his eyes.Now I understood. I moved closer, sitting on the edge of my bed. “You're afraid you won't be able to get into the Christmas Spirit this year, don't you?”He burst into tears, holding his hands over his face, his secret fear spoken aloud at last. I moved to his bed and put my hand on his chest. “But what about last Christmas? You delivered the toys then didn't you?”“Yes, but with the added burden of the sex toy deliveries I missed almost twelve thousand homes! I had so send those presents in the… mail.” He said the last word as if it was the most shameful word in the English language. “This year, I don't think I'll be able to deliver any toys at all.” He began weeping again.Santa was a basket case.“Don't cry Kris. I'll help you figure it out.” But of course, I had no idea how. It had taken months for me to stop chasing Santas, even after I realized it was a self-destructive habit that was ruining my life. Christmas Eve was tomorrow! There was precious little time to quiet Kris' troubled mind.I lay down in bed next to Kris, and cuddled him, my hand on his belly, and my head on his shoulder. His strong arm hugged me lightly, but he didn't try to reach farther and feel me up. If he had, I don't know what I would have done.A dim light was coming through the window. Shit! I'd been listening to his story for so many hours, I hadn't noticed the time! It had to be after noon, because the sun was only up between noon and 2 in Alaska that time of year. But Kris felt so warm in my arms. I decided to give him a few minutes to cry softly, while I cuddled him and patted his belly. I closed my eyes… for just a second.When I woke up, Kris' cock had emerged from the hole in his pants again. It seemed to be towering above me. Then I noticed that my bare hand was wrapped around the base of it. Blitzen, it was warm! I could hear from his light snoring that he was asleep. I didn't move a muscle. I just looked at his cock, feeling his flesh in my hand. How long had I been holding it? There was something familiar about his cock… almost like I'd seen it before. Déjà vu… I watched as a tiny bit of pre-cum seeped out of the tip and dripped down the shaft. I stared in fascination as it made its long trip downward, until it spread out on my knuckle. What was I doing?I let go, and sat up. I looked at the clock. We'd been asleep for hours. It was nearly five P.M. on Christmas Eve!“Santa… Kris. Wake up,” I said, my back to him, not wanting to be tempted by the sight of his cock again. “It's Christmas Eve.”He woke up and cursed again at his misbehaving member.I laughed. “Maybe you should invest in some stretch-pants,” I said.He chuckled deeply. “I'm glad I amuse you so much.”I still had no idea what to do to help him, but I knew where to start.“Kris. You need to take me to the North Pole.”I said it firmly, in a no-nonsense way. He said, “Okay.”He'd parked his Sleigh behind a stand of trees a few hundred yards from the diner. My god, the reindeer were beautiful. They were huge and furry. I couldn't believe I was actually seeing them with my own eyes! Kris introduced them to me. Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Sprinkles. Blitzen was apparently home, sick with a cold. As I met each reindeer I was amazed at how individual each one was. Some pranced and pawed, others just stared at me stoically. Apparently Kris understood their language, but I didn't. Just sounded like a bunch of honking and snorting to me.Santa had to hook them to the sleigh, because he'd unbridled them before coming to see me at the Moose Café. That actually touched me a bit. It meant he'd planned to spend some time chatting with me. Or maybe it meant he'd hoped to fuck me. Either way, it was touching.The sleigh was impressive for how unimpressive it was. In all the movies it's this super-amazing contraption. But Santa's sleigh is just an ordinary wooden sleigh with chipped paint and rusty old bells. It looked like it had been patched up a hundred times like the old junker I drove. When I climbed aboard, I didn't feel magical. I had imagined this moment my whole life, but it was actually quite ordinary. Just two people climbing aboard an old sleigh. Ho, hum.But then he shouted in his booming voice, “Dash away!” and the reindeer started galloping. The whole rickety contraption lifted off the snow, as if it were light as a feather. My heart leapt up in my throat! Now this was more like it! The reindeer hooves were now running in midair. We banked up steeply, twisting and dodging among the glistening treetops. I suddenly felt as if the sleigh were going to tip over, so I threw my arms around Kris and looked back to see the lights of Anchorage growing small behind us. The sky was clear. The storm had passed during the night. We were surrounded by stars, dancing playfully around the moon, illuminating a wonderland of snow below us. I held Kris Kringle tight. We snuggled up together, so comfy… so cozy were we.After a while I noticed something odd.“Kris. We must be a thousand feet up, in the arctic… but I'm not cold.”“Of course not. You're with me.”We were picking up speed, but I saw Kris pull back on the reins a bit. I understood. There were still things to be said, but he didn't know how to continue.I gave him a nudge, “So, what happened after the orgy in your office? It sounds like you'd sort of made your peace with the situation.”“Yes. That's right. I didn't have any more orgies for a while. But I did start sleeping with… I mean, fucking female elves, usually one to four at a time. I was shy about it at first, but Blizzard was happy to hook me up with any elf that caught my eye, as long as they weren't Mary's elves. But soon I didn't need help. I hung sprigs of mistletoe about the factory, and if any female elf happened to be standing under one, well she was fair game. It was really quite a fun, liberating time. But I missed Snowbell.”“You didn't see Snowbell?”“No. I asked around for her, but Mary made it clear that Snowbell was her elf, not mine. I didn't want to fight, so there wasn't much I could do about it. Mary and I… well we never talked about any of it. Eventually we stopped talking entirely. She never ate dinner with me anymore, but stayed over in her wing working on her project.”“So you never saw Snowbell again?” I felt sad. From his story, I could tell that Snowbell was special to him.He smiled, “I saw her one last time. She snuck into my bedroom one night. I awoke with her sucking my cock. She laughed and laughed when I woke up, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. Then she got serious and said that she'd been wanting to see me ever so much, but Mary wouldn't let her. I could tell she was conflicted. She was still wearing her hair down as said she would, but she had no choice but to obey Mary. It was in her blood. So I asked her what she was doing in my room. She said Mary had sent her with a proposition. In exchange for one night with Snowbell, I was to donate something to the sex toy project.”“What?”“My cock.”“What do you mean?”“I asked the same thing and when Snowbell told me I had no choice but to comply. I would have traded anything for one more night with that little elf. We fucked for hours. I think we both knew it would be our last time. But before I was done, and when I was at my hardest and longest, Snowbell shaved all the hair off my cock and balls, and spread a molding compound around everything.”Oh, my god… could it be?“When Snowbell was finished she had a perfect cast of my cock and balls. She cleaned off the residue and we went back to fucking… making love, actually, until I fell asleep. When I awoke, Snowbell and the cast were gone.”I started breathing hard. Oh my god, I thought, I hope he tells me what I think he's gonna tell me!“I was sad. But Christmas was coming and I had no time to be maudlin. Anyway, a few days before Christmas Eve Mary finally showed me the sex toy she wanted me to deliver. Apparently, after all the product testing with all the crazy contraptions she could find, she'd determined that the classic sex toy would be best. The big giant dick.”I was right! I was right!“She'd turned the cast of my cock into this big rubber…”I interrupted him, shouting in delight, “…dildo that plays Christmas carols!”He looked at me and a big smile warmed his face. “Did you like it, Virginia?”Oh it was too wonderful for words. “Kris! You saved my life!” I stood up, jumped between his knees and threw my arms around him, kissing him with all my love. Kris Kringle had saved my life!We kissed for a long time. His cock got hard, emerging from the hole in his pants again. It moved up my belly and rested between my breasts, but I didn't touch it. I just wanted to kiss him and he wanted to kiss me. We explored each other's mouths for a long time, sometimes looking into each other's eyes. His azure eyes were the color of a clear blue mountain lake. Eventually his cock realized that I didn't want to fuck, and it shrunk again. I just wanted to kiss Kris Kringle on his sleigh, a thousand feet above the ground, as we crossed the Arctic Circle.When I'd had my fill, I stepped back and saw the quizzical expression on his face.“Thanks,” he said. “But I didn't save your life, Virginia. I just gave you a rubber cock. You didn't send me your customary Christmas list, so I had to put your name on Mary's sex toy list. I was… actually quite worried that you'd be offended by it. That was a pretty obscene Christmas gift. I almost refused to deliver them… but Mary had put so much work into her project, and I was so distracted by all the elf sex I was having, I just didn't have the energy to say no. But right before delivering them, I ripped all the 'from: Santa' tags off.”I put my hands on his fuzzy face. I loved him with all my heart. I'd always loved Santa. But now I loved Kris Kringle, and that's a different thing altogether. “Kris, I never really finished my story earlier. I think now's a good time to tell you how I finally got my shit together. And how you saved my life. ”“Okay”, he said.I kneeled on the bench next to him and held his hand as I talked. “Well, when I found out I was a truck stop whore, I was pretty ticked off, let me tell you. I didn't regret fucking and blowing scores of anonymous Santas. But the lying… it really pissed me off. So before that jerk of a truck driver came back from the shitter, I got behind the wheel of his eighteen-wheeler and drove off without him. He'd taught me how to drive it, the idiot. I headed straight for Alaska. I knew he wouldn't call the cops on me. I mean, what could he say to them? He was my pimp. I could easily prove that and put him in jail."I stopped for gas and Santa hunting all along the Alaska Highway. Fort Nelson, Watson Lake, Winterhorse… Everywhere I stopped I found Santas to kiss and suck and fuck, but they all turned out to be phonies. But I kept heart. I was on a holy mission. Something… some natural force in the universe was driving me to seek you out!”“Well,” he said, “You've finally found me.”I kissed him again, but briefly, and continued my story, “I was getting more and more desperate. By the time I reached Anchorage, Christmas was only a few days away. I started cracking up. I needed to find you… I knew you were in crisis… that you needed me. I was so desperate that I started questioning everything I knew about Santa, and I stopped looking for bearded, jolly, fat men. Now… any man would do. Any man at all as long as he was over thirty. I'd just walk into a gas station or a bar and start kissing every man in the place. Sometimes they'd chase me out… sometimes they wouldn't. Sometimes it ended up with me following them home or taking them back to my stolen truck. Sometimes I was flat on my back in the slushy mud of a freezing cold back alley. Sometimes it was more than one man at a time. One night, four days before Christmas Eve, I went into a sleazy bar, and I was gang fucked. I won't say gang-raped, because I enjoyed every fucking instant of it. There were ten or fifteen men there, all ages, all races, all sizes, fucking me one after another, filling my pussy with cum, shoving their cocks down my throat, jacking off all over my naked body as I lay on my back on the pool table. I loved it… but one by one I realized none of them were you. I begged them to call their friends, anyone, everyone, because Santa was out there somewhere and he needed me to fuck him!”“Oh, Virginia. I'm so sorry.”“An hour and eight men later, a woman came into the bar looking for her boyfriend. When she saw me naked on the pool table, dripping with cum, a line of men waiting for their turn on me, she fought them off and rescued me. I didn't want to leave, but by this time I was too exhausted to resist. She wanted to call the police, but I convinced her that they weren't raping me. I'd asked them to do it… begged them to. She gave me a t-shirt, since my clothes were back at the bar. Then she gave me some sleeping pills, and I fell asleep. But as soon as I woke up I ran straight out the door. Soon I was dashing through the snow, barefoot, going from house to house, looking for men."The first door I banged on was answered by a little old man, probably in his nineties, carrying an oxygen tank. He looked jolly enough for me. I kissed him like crazy, but the tubes that were blowing oxygen up his nose were in the way, so I got on my knees, unzipped his fly and went to town on his cock before he even knew what was happening. He got very hard, very fast. I gobbled on his knob until he shot his wad in my mouth. I looked up at his astonished face, and realized he wasn't you, so I apologized, and ran to the next house. Nobody home. Next house: a woman. Next house…"I found a middle aged man shoveling his sidewalk. I pushed him onto his back in the snow and started kissing him and rubbing myself all over him. I crawled up his body and rubbed my pussy in his face… I was naked under the t-shirt. He was too stunned to lick me or anything so I just fucked his face for a while. He took off his gloves and started feeling me up… my ass, my tits. Finally he started licking my pussy like crazy. That was more like it! I finally had a screaming orgasm. I was going to fuck him next, but I heard his wife in the house yelling, 'what was that noise, Frank? Are you okay?' Frank? Not Santa? I jumped up and ran off. Next house, nobody home, next house a woman making breakfast for her children."Next I came across a small church. I ran inside, intending to pray for you to find me, but instead I found the pastor polishing a candelabra. Soon, I was polishing his penis; first with my mouth, then with my pussy. He was an enthusiastic convert to the church of Virginia, because he bent me over on the railing they give communion at and fucked me from behind. Instead of shooting his wad in me, however, he had me kneel in front of him while he jerked himself off on my face. I looked up at him, my hands together, praying he would turn out to be the real true Santa. He wasn't. Just a perverted priest, led astray by a Santa-seeking slut."I was absolutely totally crazed, but happy, so happy! I felt as if I were fulfilling my purpose in the universe! I didn't even knock at the next door I came to. I just barged right in and saw a teenaged boy sitting in front of a television, playing a video game. He was definitely the youngest person I'd ever considered might be Santa, but by this time my standards had really slipped. It turned out later he was eighteen, but I didn't even think about it at the time. I just pushed his game controller aside, unzipped his fly and started sucking his cock. He couldn't believe what was happening. It was like his secret Christmas wish had come true. I heard later that he was a virgin. He isn't anymore. As soon as he was good and hard, I jumped on his lap and started fucking him. He was so astonished that he didn't even notice the preacher's cum dripping off my face. As I fucked him I lifted my shirt up and rubbed my breasts all over his face. His hard young cock felt so good inside me! I started having a screaming orgasm. Soon he started quivering, then he started cumming."That's when his mother came back from the store. She'd gone to buy a new snow shovel. When she walked in, she thought her son was being attacked by some wild woman from the woods… and I guess he was. She attacked me with the snow shovel.”I lifted up my bangs, to show the long scar I now had on my forehead.Kris' eyes were smoky with compassion. I noticed he had an erection from my story, but he'd put a blanket in his lap to cover it up. He leaned toward me and kissed my scar.I smiled, “There's another one on my thigh… I'll let you kiss that one later. That woman really did a number on me. She even knocked out my two front teeth. I still owe money for the implants. But… actually, she did me a favor. She stopped my ecstatic rampage. I woke up in the Anchorage hospital.”“Yes, I remember,” said Kris. “I'd wondered why you were in a hospital, but I couldn't stick around to find out. I still had millions of presents to deliver.”I put my hand on his cheek. “That's okay. Anyway, when I woke up, it was Christmas eve. I was scarred, and black and blue all over. A male doctor came in to see me, and the first thing I did was to try to unzip his fly to suck his cock. He backed off and I tried to get out of bed to get at him! He said there was a big suture on my thigh, so I needed to keep still. But I didn't care. The nurses had to restrain me… strap me to the bed so I wouldn't hurt myself. The doctor called in a psychiatrist. I was too crazed with desperation to lie, so I told her that I needed to find Santa, I needed to fuck him! I couldn't explain it. I just had to! She was very nice, but in the end she filled out some paperwork to have me transferred to a mental hospital in a few days. I knew what that meant. I'd be locked up! But later that night I was able to talk the nurses into taking off my restraints. They figured it was cruel to keep me strapped down on Christmas Eve. But they kept a sharp eye on me. I waited and waited for everyone to leave for the day. But I fell asleep, listening to the nurses sing Silver Bells as they exchanged presents out in the nurse's station. When I woke up, it was dark. No one was stirring.”“Not even a mouse?” asked Kris, smiling.“Not even a mouse. I snuck out of bed, determined to escape. I was going to run out into the cold dark night. It was crazy. The suture on my leg would have opened up. I'd have bled to death, or froze. I didn't care. I just needed to find Santa… but then… I saw it.”“My present,” he said, smiling.I nodded. “Your present. It was sitting right there, on the rolling tray next to my bed. A big, red, wrapped oblong box. I wondered if the nurses had left it for me. I didn't see a tag. I wanted to run… but I thought… maybe, just maybe, this present was from you. So I carefully unwrapped it, quietly and slowly so nobody would hear me. I was surprised as fuck-all when I saw what was inside. It said 'Santa's Little Helper' on the box, and had a small cartoony drawing of you. Most of the box, though, was clear plastic and I could see what was inside. A giant rubber cock, colored red and white in a spiral pattern, just like the North Pole. I started laughing. I thought, what the fuck is this? Who the hell gave this crazy thing to me? I mean… it was obscene! It was like, fifteen inches long, and four inches thick!” I mimicked the shape and size of it with my hands. He laughed.“When I saw your cock earlier, I should have recognized it. But the spiral red and white stripes must have thrown me off. And I never, even once, thought that YOU had given me that crazy cock! I took it out of the package, absolutely fascinated by it! I didn't know then what I found so fascinating. But… now I know. It was you, Kris. It was your cock. It was what I'd been searching for the last three years… but I didn't even know it! I held it in my hands, feeling its meaty weight… it's insane girth. In spite of the unrealistic coloring, it felt so realistic. I had a rubber cock once… it was all floppy, but this thing… well it was stiff as well as soft, just like a real cock. I knew it would never fit inside me… but I had to try it out. I lay back on my bed, my desire to run away suddenly forgotten. I lifted up my hospital gown and pulled my panties open. I put the head of that monster up to my pussy lips and began to masturbate my clit with it. It felt amazing. I have no idea why. My skin tingled at its touch. It began to vibrate, even though I hadn't turned on any switch. It was a soft vibration… almost undetectable, not like the crude buzzing that normal dildoes make. I started getting wet… and I mean soaking wet. I pushed the head of that thing between my pussy lips and it slid inside. I couldn't believe it. I'd never been able to enjoy the feeling of a big dick inside me, and this was bigger than any I'd ever felt before. It was mind blowing. Oh sure, it felt tight, but it fit! So I decided that it must have been designed to shrink in order to fit inside anybody, no matter their size, you know, like squeezing a sponge. Anyway, it felt good inside me, so I thrust it deeper and it really seemed to go farther than I would have thought possible. It was like a magic act really… the way it seemed to disappear inside me… all the way to the base. And weirdest of all… it was like I could feel all fifteen inches of it inside me, even though I know, for a fact, I am not fifteen inches deep!”Kris was surprised to hear all this. “I didn't know it did that. Mary didn't demonstrate it for me. Just loaded them up on the sleigh. Wow. Elf magic, I guess.”I giggled, “When it was all the way inside me, it started playing a Christmas carol. 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town'. I laughed out loud! I thought it was the craziest gift ever! I was so curious who'd left it for me so I could thank them! I grabbed it by its big, heavy balls and started fucking myself with it, and soon I felt so good, I forgot all about how weird it was. I was just fucking myself, feeling the vibration of the music deep inside me. I crammed it into myself for minute after wonderful minute, screaming into a pillow to stifle the sound. I had a powerful orgasm. Powerful."I lay back, the cock… your cock, still inside me, and I went into a post orgiastic state. But your cock wasn't finished with me! It started moving inside me, very slightly, just enough to keep my orgasm zinging, like it was a stone skipping across a lake. I don't know how long this lasted but when it was over… I was absolutely spent… and I felt content. My need to chase Santa had lessened. It was still there, but the hungry, insane desperation was gone. I pulled your cock out of me and lay in bed, hugging it to my belly like a pet, and fell asleep, getting the first really good night's sleep I'd had in two years.”I kissed Kris again. “Thank you for the present Santa.”“You're welcome, Virginia.”To be continued..By cb summers for Literotica

Kris finds comfort in some sexy elves.By cb summers. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Maybe she'd never really loved me, and the novelty of being Saint Nicholas' wife had worn thin after a century or so. But in any case, whatever love we'd shared had melted away like the mighty glaciers of Greenland. Gone… perhaps never to return.All at once I realized I was free. Free to do whatever I wanted with Snowbell, or the kitchen elf Icicle, or my secretary Blizzard… hell, with any fucking elf at the whole fucking North Pole, and Mary wouldn't mind. Why should she? She was no longer mine, and I was no longer hers.I reached out and pushed a button, closing a curtain over the window into the test room. Then I switched off the sound, cutting off Mary's musical cries of pleasure in mid “Oh”. I didn't want to hear her orgasm right now. I wanted to hear someone else's.I reached over to put my large right hand on Snowbell's miniature belly. She looked up at me and smiled warmly. Then I ran my hand up under her teddy and cupped her naked breast. I pinched her little blue gumdrop nipple and she groaned in her high, wispy voice.“Oh, Santa! That feels good!”She threw her body across my lap, her arms above her head and let me explore her body with my hands as she cooed and hummed. Snowbell's skin wasn't as soft as Mary's, but touching it made my fingers tingle and my cock throb with desire. More elf magic, I suppose. I touched her everywhere: her face, neck, arms and legs, but I saved her pussy for last. When I finally got there, I ran my fingers along the naked lips, then played with her hard little clitoris for a while, which made her laugh and shriek with pleasure.Then I put my big middle finger between her perfect little pussy lips. She gave a little shriek of joy as I buried my finger, knuckle deep, in her tingling vagina. She was deeper than I would have guessed, because my long finger didn't reach the back. When I did this with Mary I could feel the stiff lump of her cervix with my fingertip. But I pushed into Snowbell as far as I could go, meeting no obstructions. The powerful muscles inside Snowbell's vagina constricted around my fingers. I wondered what my cock would feel like inside there…But I laughed at the absurd thought. At fifteen inches, my cock was almost as long as her entire abdomen! And I was four inches thick, but Snowbell's pussy was squeezing my finger tightly as it was. We'd never fit together. But it was an intriguingly naughty thought.I began to finger fuck Snowbell, driving myself into her as if my finger were my cock, letting my knuckle stimulate her clit with each thrust.“Oh, Santa, yes!!!” Whimpered Snowbell. I explored her insides with my finger… it was so smooth in there. None of the little flaps of skin and mysterious shapes that Mary's had. Only smooth skin, with rippling muscles just under the surface, which she seemed to be able to control. Her vagina started to loosen, so I put a second finger in and her pussy seemed to expand to take it. Now I put three fingers in, and spread them wide… fuck! I slipped my entire hand into her, thumb and all! I knew right then that my cock, as big as it was, could definitely fit inside Snowbell. I probably couldn't go very deep inside her, but at least as deep as I ever had with Mary.Snowbell, enjoying the feeling of my whole hand inside her, wrapped her hands around my cock and looked up at me, tears flowing out of her ancient eyes. I saw an aching need in them. She wanted my cock. And not just because Mary told her to make me happy. But because I was Santa fuckin' Claus!I took my hand out of Snowbell and lifted her to kiss her on the mouth. She threw her arms around my neck and her eager lips opened. I felt her lithe elfin tongue penetrate my mouth, and swirl around my tongue and across my teeth, making everything tingle magically. I could tell that her tongue wasn't as long as Tinsel's, which was a bit of a relief. It was so insanely erotic, I felt euphoric. I lifted her higher and took her firm, round breast into my mouth, and tickled her gumdrop nipple with my tongue. A little squirt of nectar came out of the tip, splashing across my tongue. It tasted like peppermint schnapps!!“Snowbell, what was that?”“My milk, Santa. Have some more!” She pressed her other breast into my mouth, and when I tickled the nipple, another jet of peppermint shot across my tongue to the back of my mouth. I was drinking elf milk! It was the most delicious thing I'd ever tasted, and slightly intoxicating.“Please, Santa, fuck me!” moaned Snowbell.I hesitated, still unsure this was the right thing to do, “Are you sure, Snowbell?”“Please, Santa, please! Let it be my Christmas gift. If you give me your cock, you don't have to give me anything else!” She was so adorable.“Okay Snowbell, but only if you give me your pussy as your present to me.” She nodded and we kissed again, hotly. I held her small head in my hands, my fingers fingering her ears up to the long tapering points. She moaned. Apparently an elf's ears are one of their g-spots. Our tongues danced and tingled with magic, as I guided my cock to her pussy lips.“Okay, Snowbell. Are you ready to trade Christmas presents?”“Yes, Santa.” She said sweetly.All I had to do was thrust upward a little and my big cock slipped into her tight wet tunnel. She shrieked a high-pitched wail of pure joy, then lowered herself slowly down my shaft. She was tight, but not nearly as tight as Mary. I easily entered her. My cock began tingling, and I felt her rippling vaginal muscles pulling me ever deeper, like a constricting snake. I kept expecting to reach her cervix any second, but I kept going deeper and deeper, until it seemed utterly impossible. I could see her entire body expanding, elastically, to accept my girth. My cock was going past where her intestines should be… then past her lungs, then past her heart. Then… almost to the base of her throat. Her face was contorting in joy, and her eyes rolled back in their sockets. Finally, all the way down, my balls pressed into her labia, and the tip of my cock pressed against the underside of her clavicle. I was completely encased inside her body. Who knew elf pussies were so deep?It felt more amazing than anything I could have ever imagined. Every inch of me surrounded by the rippling undulations of her vaginal muscles. I could also feel her internal organs moving… her lungs breathing against my shaft, and her two hearts beating just under the head of my cock. I lifted her up, feeling every inch of her insides rubbing along my sensitive skin, until only the head of my cock was still inside her. She looked at me with wonder sparkling in her elfin eyes.“Santa!!! I didn't think you'd fit but you do!!” She hugged me tightly, then said, “Oh please, do it again. Harder, faster…” I pulled her down again, hard this time and drove myself again into her tiny, well lubricated body. Her pussy was dripping, almost flooding, with a steady stream of her juices. I felt a river of it pouring down my balls, setting them alive with tingles. I had no idea what Mary was doing in the test room. I didn't care. I was fucking an elf, and loving it!I was close to cumming again, so I started to pull out.But Snowbell could feel my orgasm coming. She said, “No, Santa, anoint my insides! Please, Santa, oh, pretty please.”I stood up, holding Snowbell easily in my hands. I fucked her standing up, holding her little body in the air, something I'd never done with Mary. I fucked Snowbell as hard and as deep and as powerfully as I could, sliding in and out, all fifteen inches with each stroke, her jingle bell ring ting tingling away. I had an orgasm that was almost as powerful than the one on my wedding night. I shot my semen deep inside that little aqua colored elf, load after load, probably two quarts, but she was so deep that hardly any of it spilled out. As I was cumming, so was she, but it was a much more powerful orgasm than she'd had earlier. Little fountains of peppermint schnapps nectar shot out of her nipples into the air. I leaned forward and took one breast in my mouth and sucked a mouthful of her delicious milk and swallowed it, feeling a rush of intoxication flowing to my brain. I couldn't believe how long her orgasm lasted this time. I tried to pull my cock out, but her muscles held me in. They felt like they were milking the last cum out of me, with rippling inward contractions that were so fucking wonderful, that I started cumming again without warning.“Snowbell!” I shouted hoarsely, pumping my love potion into her pussy with an intensity that would have killed a mortal man. When our orgasms had abated, I flopped weakly down on the couch, leaving my cock inside her, with her straddling and hugging me. I lovingly undid her braids, spreading her soft white hair out on her back. She cooed against me in pleasure the whole time. My cock, though softer, was still deep inside her, being slowly stimulated by the undulations of her vaginal muscles. Her hearts were beating fast against the tip of my cock, but she didn't seem uncomfortable at all. She just hummed “Jingle Bells” contentedly against my belly.After I'd undone all her hair, I said, “I like your hair down, Snowbell.”She smiled, “Okay Santa. I'll wear it this way from now on, forever!”My cock grew hard within a few minutes time. I put my hands under Snowbell's ass and started lifting her up and down. Now my cum began to spill out of her, forming a pool under my balls, soaking the couch. I was hard. So hard. And I could feel every square inch of me inside her. I could fuck her all day.So I did.Needless to say, I didn't make any of my meetings that day. I can only presume that Mary finished her ‘test' long before Snowbell and I were done. I fucked that little elf again and again, her long white hair flying all around her beautiful blue head, until my cock was sore. I drank so much of her milk, that eventually I fell asleep, drunk off my ass.When I awoke it was late the following afternoon, feeling somewhat hung over from the elf milk. Snowbell was nowhere to be seen, but my cum had been cleaned carefully off everything, although there were several large stains of it on the couch and my pants. I put clothes on, wracked with shame. I quickly left Mary's wing of the factory, headed toward my office.When I entered primary toy assembly room #1, I couldn't believe my eyes. Mary had instituted the new dress code overnight, and now the elves were dressed in lovely blue and white clothing, most of it quite skimpy and revealing, although none of the outfits as skimpy as what Snowbell had worn the previous night. There were a handful of holdouts stubbornly wearing their old red and blue lederhosen. Every group has a few curmudgeons, but they were in the minority.It was an amazing, horrifying sight. Now every female elf I saw was radiantly feminine, and every male was oozing virility. The females were all batting their eyelashes at me alluringly and the males were nodding at me knowingly. It was obvious that Snowbell had told them how I'd 'anointed' her insides. Every female elf, including the curmudgeons, appeared to be working up the courage to ask me to anoint them too. I'd never felt so uncomfortable in the toy factory in my life!I scuttled up to my office to think about what to say when I saw Mary. This had to stop! We had to go back to the old uniforms! This was obscene! You can't make toys this way! Half an hour after I sat down at my desk, my secretary Blizzard sauntered in, dressed in a miniature version of a human secretary outfit, tight white shirt, dark blue skirt, high heels, and glasses perched on her nose. A pencil was stuck comically through her braided hair.“Oh…. Shit.” I mumbled. I knew instantly why she was dressed this way.Back in the seventies I'd started an experimental intern program for college kids to come work with us at the North Pole during their summer break. The idea was that these humans would go back to the real world and spread a little belief. But one of the students, Holly, was assigned to work in my office as Blizzard's assistant. She was as sexy as hell. One night after everyone had gone home, she propositioned me. She even went so far as to hop up on my desk and open her legs, showing me her panties, which had a little red bow on the crotch. I came very close to accepting her gift. The next morning I canceled the whole program in spite of Mary's objections. She didn't know how close I'd come to fucking Holly on my desk! Ever since then I'd been fantasizing about what would have happened if I'd accepted. And now that fantasy was standing in front of me, four foot three and as sexy as hell.I'd never seen Blizzard's figure this well before. Whereas Snowbell was thin and willowy, Blizzard was curvy and buxom, like a miniature Marilyn Monroe. Blizzard's skin was snowy white, except for her lips, which were cobalt blue. Her eyelashes were almost an inch long. She batted them at me and winked. My cock got so hard so fast it bonked against the underside of my desk.Blizzard sauntered right up to me and spoke in a breathless voice that immediately reminded me of Holly, “Mr. Kringle, can I ask you a favor?”“Yes, what is it Blizzard?”“You didn't get me anything for secretary's day this year.” She pouted dramatically.“Oh? I didn't know we observed that holiday. But I didn't mean to offend you.”“You could certainly make it up to me.”“How?”“Well… You could anoint me, for one thing,” she said, giggling just like Holly did.Gulp. I hadn't realized how fast temptation would rear its ugly head. I needed to nip this thing in the bud, and I needed to do it soon! But… Blizzard was so fucking hot! Not just because she looked like Holly… but because she looked like Blizzard, one of the sexiest creatures I'd ever laid eyes on. I needed to stop this madness before it got out of control!“Uh… not now, Blizzard. I just woke up.”She looked at me quizzically, and dropped the Holly accent for a minute, and spoke in her own precise and punctilious voice. “Mr. Kringle, I've been your secretary for over eighty years. I know what you want before you do. And you want to anoint me. Don't deny it.”“No I don't, Blizzard. Just… leave me!” I shouted, trying to scare her off. She didn't bat an eyelash, but just smiled, and stepped up to me, and rolled my chair back from the desk. I couldn't cover my erection. It was just too huge.“Well, well, well, Mr. Kringle, what have we here?” With one deft move, she pulled my waistband down, exposing my huge cock. “Your mouth says no, but your cock says yes, yes, yes.”Before I could answer or protest, she bent over, and engulfed my cock in her mouth. I wanted to push her off me… but I couldn't. Once again, I felt the tingling magic of elfin juices. She slobbered all over me as she worked my shaft deep into her flexible throat. Her hands stroked my shaft powerfully, and her long prehensile tongue slipped out around the edge of her lips, wrapping around my pole like a slithering snake all the way down to my balls. It was creepy… but insanely erotic at the same time.I couldn't believe this little, efficient, motherly elf who I'd dictated millions of letters to for eighty years, was now sucking my cock. It was naughty, naughty, naughty!“I told you Blizzard, I'm busy! Go away!” I bellowed at her, hoping deep inside that she wouldn't obey me.She stood up, and for a second I thought she was going to leave. But instead, she hopped up on my desk and opened her legs wide, just as Holly had done. And just as with Holly, she was wearing a little pair of panties with a red bow on the crotch.I stood up and shouted. “Get out of my office, Blizzard, or I'll fire you!”Then once again, mimicking Holly's voice, she said, “Aren't you going to open your present, Mr. Kringle?”My hands were ripping her panties open, before I even knew it.“I told you to get out of my office! Why don't you obey me?” I shouted, but I kept opening my present, ripping her skirt apart, and then shredding her shirt, then her bra without bothering to unhook it. Her pearl necklace burst open, sending pearls scattering among the shreds of clothing I was flinging everywhere. Now she was mostly naked, except for some tattered remains, and oh, baby Jesus, she was a beautiful sight! She was shapely and buxom, and her body was snow white from head to toe, even the irises of her eyes. Her breasts were a lot bigger and less firm than Snowbell's, and as soon as I ripped off her bra, I had my hands on them, pinching her clear, hard, ice colored nipples. She groaned in pleasure… that's as far as I'd gone with Holly.I took my hands out of her, and slammed my hands down on either side of the desk, and shouted in her face, “I said, go!”She crossed her legs slowly, and picked up a pad of paper from my desk. Then slowly took the pencil out of her hair and said, in Holly's voice, “Would you like me to take a letter for you, Mr. Kringle?”“No! No!” Go away, Holly!“And who shall I address it to?” she said, playfully putting the pencil to the paper.I roared, “Get out right now!”She wrote that down, "Was that, 'Get out right now', or 'Get out brown cow'?” she said in a chirpy cheerful voice, as she slowly crossed her legs, hiding her beautiful white pussy from me.“Fuck!” I screamed. I flipped her over on her chest, and put the large head of my cock right up against her wet pussy. I paused, trying to force myself to back off. Oh god, this is exactly what I'd wanted to do to Holly.She still had the pad of paper in her hands. She wrote down, 'fuck' in large letters and asked, “Would that be one exclamation point, Mr. Kringle, or two?”She let out a long, surprised, orgasmic shriek as I thrust into her all fifteen inches of angry Santa. When my balls finally slapped against her labia, she moaned in her own voice, “Oh, Mr. Kringle! I can feel you in my throat!!”I started fucking her, hard, my hand on her back, pushing her down on the desk. She was helpless.“You should have escaped while you could, Holly! Now I'm gonna fuck you senseless!” I was pounding her so hard, so powerfully, I knew Holly couldn't have taken it. I'd have caused her severe internal injuries! But Blizzard could take what I had to give her, because she was an elf!I spread her glittery white buttocks with my hands to watch my cock sliding in and out of her. I could actually see the flexible bones in her pelvis stretching open to accept me. Then I noticed her little asshole… it started to open and close, as if inviting me to touch it. I ran my thumb down to touch the rim of it, something I'd never done with Mary.Blizzard groaned, “Ooh!” and the little hole opened a little, as if beckoning me inside.Although I'd never done such a thing before, I stuck my thumb in her asshole, and she screeched in pleasure. Copious quantities juice began shooting out of her pussy around my cock, bathing my balls. I also saw a pool of liquid spreading out from her breasts. I smelled the peppermint schnapps odor of elf milk. Blizzard began moaning in her high-pitched voice, having orgasm after orgasm.Suddenly I felt hands on my thighs, I turned in surprise to see the three female elves who were tasked to keep my 'Nice or Naughty' list up-to-date. They were in various stages of undress, and were feeling me up, running their hands all over my buttocks and between my legs to tickle my balls as I fucked Blizzard. I looked down at their beautiful bodies. Each one of them was so different, yet so adorable… Teacup was thin and elegant, with vivid blue-green skin and long pointy ears, Cookie dough was very short and very plump, with pale blue skin with lots of little brown freckles that almost looked like chocolate chips, and Indigo was a muscular female with an enormous, shapely ass and skin so dark blue that it was almost black. They all looked up at me with wonder in their elfin eyes. Teacup was standing on my chair, so I reached down and slipped my free hand between her legs. Soon she was giggling happily as I rubbed my fingers all over and into her blue-green pussy.Five more elves came running into the office, whooping like crazy, peeling their clothes off. I looked around and realized that now everyone on my personal staff were in the room, and before I could wrap my mind around it, the office orgy began. One of the males, a muscular looking green elf named Dairy bell, pushed little Pinecone to her knees and began fucking her up the ass, without so much as a how-de-do. His cock grew and grew, so that it was enormous. Not as big as mine, but a lot bigger than I would have guessed and elf cock to be. Sugar Plum, a very shy male elf who often made me hot cocoa, hopped up on my desk and began thrusting his growing cock into Blizzard's mouth. He smiled at me sweetly, hardly able to make eye contact with me, yet here he was, in spite of his shyness, cramming his engorged blue cock into my secretary's mouth! His penis grew quite long, almost twelve inches, although it was only about an inch and a half thick. He was shoving in all the way down her eager throat, and into her esophagus, and she was having no trouble at all breathing around it. Suddenly I could feel his cock and my cock brushing past each other on her insides, separated only by the fleshy membranes of her internal organs.Instead of being shocked by my first sexual interaction with a male elf, I pondered what kind of anatomy allowed this sort of thing to happen? I wondered if I could stick my cock as far up Blizzard's ass as it was now up her vagina. I looked over at Pinecone. She seemed to be handling about half of Dairybell's big cock, so without asking, I repositioned my cock over Blizzard's anus, my mind exploding with the sudden need to take this final plunge into complete depravity. My cock was well lubricated with her vaginal juices, but she was so tight, I felt like she was going to crush my cock as I pushed myself inside. She didn't do anything but moan louder, so I assumed she was enjoying this. The deeper I pushed myself, the tighter she got. When I was halfway in, I met an obstruction, and now I knew how deep an elf's ass is. Then I pulled out again, and pushed my way in. She was no longer as tight as before, so I began pounding her with greater speed.Then Sugar Plum pulled his cock out of Blizzard's mouth, and now she could vocalize her pleasure again. “Oh Mr. Kringle! Your cock feel so good up my ass! Harder! Harder!”Sugar Plum started wriggling his legs under her body. I didn't know what he was doing at first, but soon his legs came out under her legs, right under my balls. Within a second or two he stuck his cock in her pussy, as I was sodomizing her. Her flexible pelvis expanded to take us both at the same time. My balls were slapping against his balls, as we double penetrated Blizzard. It was the most filthy thing ever, and I loved it, god help me, I loved it! Blizzard was moaning loudly in pleasure, and started to cum. She arched up on her arms, shooting her milk right into Sugar Plum's eager mouth. I cupped my hand under the other breast, and brought a handful up to my mouth drinking it down greedily.Then, as if that weren't enough craziness to process, I felt Cookie dough put her hands around my thighs and bury her face between my butt cheeks. Then, much to my horror, I could feel Cookie dough's long tongue working its way into my anus! I tried to reach around to stop her, but then my anus began to tingle with the elf magic, and a warmth spread through my backsides. My pleasure jumped to a higher level than I'd ever experienced before!I felt myself cumming, but Blizzard, sensing I was about to come, clamped her powerful anus tight, trapping my cock inside her, and squeezing off my orgasm, so it had nowhere to go. The insane intensity in my abdomen and nut sack doubled. Now Cookie dough's tongue was going deeper and deeper inside me, so invasive, yet a warmth was spreading through my pelvis that rocked me to the core.I couldn't wrap my mind around this. It seemed like I was in the middle of some kind of nightmare wet dream. Yesterday all these elves had been my most dependable, personal employees, now we were having an orgy of epic debauchery in my office! I looked around in amazement. Fluffball was going down on Pinecone, while Gingerbread fucked her from behind. Pinecone and Dairy Bell had switched positions, and now Dairy Bell was working her long tongue up his asshole as he masturbated himself. Over on my workbench, Dingaling was holding a nutcracker in each hand, thrusting them in and out of Patches' and Thimbletop's pussies. Sugar Plum and I were double-teaming Blizzard, and Indigo jumped up on the desk and pressed her pussy to Blizzard's mouth and long elfin tongue. And as Cookie Dough ate out my ass, my fingers brought Teacup into a shrieking orgasm, and I felt her milk oozing out of her breasts against my arm.A thought flickered through my head that I was cheating… but not on Mary. On Snowbell. But somehow I knew that Snowbell wouldn't care, not because she didn't love me, but because she did!I looked around at these ancient creatures, and felt blessed to be participating in this amazing, world shattering event. But although it was important, it was also unimportant at the same time. This was nothing weird or unusual to the elves. They were just enjoying each other, laughing and fucking, without reservation, as they'd done from the dawn of time, without worrying about right or wrong, male or female, nice or naughty. They all looked at me from time to time, smiling radiantly. They were having an orgy with Santa Claus! It was one of the best days ever!It felt so right! So true! So pure! Sin seemed a silly concept to me now, compared to this pure and open expression of sharing and lust and love. I felt an orgasm building again. But instead of clamping me off as she'd done before, Blizzard scrambled off me and Sugar Plum and jumped to the floor shouting, “Anoint us, Mr. Kringle!”She got between my legs and began to jerk my cock powerfully with her hands, and shouted, “Anoint us all!” All the elves in the room stopped what they were doing and ran to be in front of me and looked up in rapture, just as my sperm shot up my shaft. As I came, Blizzard aimed me around the room like a fire-hose, so my cum spattered all over the elves. They were laughing and rolling around on their backs as if they were playing in the snow. I shot blast after blast, as she pulled it out of me with her powerful, ancient hands. I couldn't believe how much cum I was creating, it was almost miraculous. I'd done this before inside Mary and Snowbell's pussies, but I'd never actually seen it shooting into the air in such quantities before. After each shot the elves would shout, “Hooray!” I came, as far as I could estimate, twice as much, and twice as long, as I had on my wedding day!Blizzard saved the last shot of cum for herself, aiming it right into her face and open mouth. She swallowed it down and said, “Snowbell is right! It tastes just like eggnog!” Then all elves started licking my cum off each other, and giggling at the yummy flavor. I collapsed back into my chair, as if I'd just completed a marathon run from the South Pole. I watched and laughed as the elves began to play with my come, throwing it at each other as if they were having a snowball fight.Then Sugar Plum jumped up on the desk and began jerking his engorged cock and shot a spray of his own watery blue cum all over everyone, including me. I didn't know how to process that. I definitely wasn't sexually attracted to male elves. But… a bit of his cum trickled into my mouth and it tasted of cranberries. I licked my lips, not wanting to insult him by wiping his cum off my face. After all, he'd anointed me.I watched the elves play for the longest time, my heart full of love for them all. They started fucking again and having orgasms and anointing each other. All the female elves, at one point or another, hopped up into my lap and pressed their breasts to my mouth so I could take a deep drink of their intoxicatingly delicious milk. I didn't get another erection, I was just too spent. I was also dazed and drunk. At some point, Cookiedough sat in my lap, and I masturbated her fat little pussy with my fingers until she was writhing in pleasure. I leaned over her and drunkenly took both her large bouncy breasts into my mouth and chugged her nectar as she came.That's the last thing I remember.To be continued..By cb summers for Literotica

Katherin called me from Atlanta, Georgia. She grew up in a challenging environment with an adoptive mother on dialysis, an adoptive father who disengaged from parenting, and life lessons that taught her to suppress her emotions. Seeking connection, Katherin turned to the affection of men to fill the emotional voids in her life.In reunion, Katherin discovered her birth mother's struggles with mental health and gained a sister with whom she shares a close bond. However, building a relationship with her birth father has been difficult, as his wife harbors resentment over his past transgressions.This is Katherin's journey.In Search of a Salve: Diary of a Sex AddictWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Join us in this episode as podcast listener Camilla shares her experience, strength & hope as a person in recovery whose brother was incarcerated for sex addiction.    Links mentioned in this episode: SAA Prisoner Outreach Program: https://saa-recovery.org/diversity/prisoners/ What is EMDR?   https://www.emdria.org/about-emdr-therapy/   The work of Pia Mellody - https://www.leslierawlings.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Five-Core-Practices.pdf Centering Prayer: https://cp12stepoutreach.org/   YouTube Links to music in this episode (used for educational purposes): David Bowie - Space Oddity (1969): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRMZ_5WYmCg David Bowie - Space Oddity (1973): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo David Bowie - Lazarus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-JqH1M4Ya8 David Bowie & Trent Reznor - I'm Afraid of Americans: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT3cERVRoQo David Bowie & NIN - Hurt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhhEHuChFck Nine Inch Nails - Hurt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ty-bLdf8Bsw Johnny Cash - Hurt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AHCfZTRGiI Johnny Cash - I Came To Believe (2002): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPB92auG30s Johnny Cash - I Came To Believe (1984): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTliWmqXkl4   Be sure to reach us via email: feedback@sexaddictsrecoverypod.com If you are comfortable and interested in being a guest or panelist, please feel free to contact me. jason@sexaddictsrecoverypod.com SARPodcast YouTube Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLn0dcZg-Ou7giI4YkXGXsBWDHJgtymw9q To find meetings in the San Francisco Bay Area, be sure to visit: https://www.bayareasaa.org/meetings To find meetings in the your local area or online, be sure to visit the main SAA website: https://saa-recovery.org/meetings/ The content of this podcast has not been approved by and may not reflect the opinions or policies of the ISO of SAA, Inc.  

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"People being introduced to today's wealth of resources for sexual addiction and sexual betrayal trauma recovery owe a lot to our guest. Carol Sheets, also known to her radio, podcast, and YouTube audiences as "Carol the Coach," was among the first therapists to become a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT). For years she has been offering encouragement, advice, and resources not only for recovering sex addicts, but also for their partners recovering from betrayal trauma. In 2019 Carol released Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook for Sex Addicts to Help Their Partners Heal. This was a simple, practical guide to help recovering addicts understand the pain their partners experience with sexual betrayal, and to give them tools to develop the needed skill of empathy. Carol also created a model for couple's recovery called ERCEM (Early Recovery Couple's Empathy Model), understanding that for couples who have experienced sexual addiction and betrayal to heal, BOTH partners eventually need to discover empathy for the other's past experiences with trauma. Her 2022 book Help Them Heal: Teaching You Both How to Heal Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal, helps couples navigate this difficult work and understand that there is hope for couples after sexual betrayal.Some of the "initials" we talked about in the episode include:CSAT - Certified Sexual Addiction TherapistAPSATS - Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma SpecialistsERCEM - Early Recovery Couple's Empathy ModelAVR - Acknowledge, Validate, Reassure (empathetic communication skill)Greg & Stacey had a great conversation where Carol shared how she got started, how she remains committed to learning newer and better ways to help people, and she even took some time to talk through a recent trigger Stacey experienced. We're grateful for the lifetime of work Carol brings to people in recovery, and we believe you will be too.#carolsheets #carolthecoach #helpherheal #helpthemheal #empathy #ercem #apsats #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw  #connection #conversationCarol The Coach's websiteCarol's books (on Amazon)Sexual Addiction: Strength/Hope/Recovery (Carol's podcast) Awaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

In Episode 256, Mark & Steve talk raw and real to the partners of porn/sex addicts whose authentic voices have been "silenced." Silence often becomes a way of life for partners of sex addicts, rooted in past experiences, family dynamics, and cultural norms that discourage authentic self-expression. Many learn early on that their needs don't matter or that speaking up leads to rejection or conflict. This pattern is exacerbated in relationships with addicts, where manipulation, gaslighting, or neglect make it feel safer to remain quiet. While silence may seem like a survival tactic, it comes at a steep cost—fueling anger and resentment, diminishing self-worth, and preventing relationships from evolving into deeper, more authentic connections. Over time, these suppressed emotions and unmet needs create disconnection and imbalance, leaving partners feeling isolated and unfulfilled.Breaking free from silence requires partners to reconnect with their self-worth and recognize that their value is independent of others' validation. Practicing self-advocacy, even in small ways, is crucial to rebuilding confidence and learning to express needs and boundaries. Establishing boundaries protects emotional well-being and helps partners reclaim their voice in a healthy way. While fear of rejection is a common barrier, it's important to remember that relationships worth keeping are those where both partners can express themselves honestly and be heard without fear of judgment or invalidation.Rediscovering your voice is not just about speaking up—it's about reclaiming your identity and creating a life of authenticity and empowerment. This process may require support from safe spaces like therapy, support groups, or trusted friends. As partners practice authentic communication and challenge fears, they foster deeper connections with themselves and their loved ones. Ultimately, relationships where both individuals can express their true selves are healthier, more fulfilling, and sustainable. By finding your voice, you take the first step toward building a life rooted in respect, mutual growth, and healing.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: "Why Do I Go Silent As the Partner of a Sex Addict, and How Do I Healthily Break Free of This?"Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Welcome back to another episode of Ask Double A!  Today we answer all of your questions about anal, our definition of the perfect partner and whether or not someone is a sex addict!  Ask Adrienne and Amanda (your sex positive besties!) anything on Midlife Craving.com and be featured on the next episode!Buy the toys shared on the show at TracysDog.com Use code CRAVERS20 and get 20% off your entire order!

We typically address betrayal and recovery from the perspective of the betrayer and their partner. But in a family dynamic, there are often children involved that feel the weight of the betrayal as well. Children are keenly aware of feelings and emotions and are heavily impacted by those even when they don't understand exactly what's happening or the reasons behind them. In this episode we welcome Tara McCausland, Executive Director of SA Lifeline. Tara shares about her personal experience growing up with a sex-addicted father and the impact of addiction on family dynamics, especially children. Tara shares how recovery efforts from both parents and open, honest communication played critical roles in her family's healing process.  The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code GEOFF1 for 15% off!  Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust”  Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship. Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse:  Connect with me on social media: INSTAGRAM FACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer: Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody's most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. About Tara McCausland: Tara McCausland is the Executive Director of S.A. Lifeline and holds a B.S. in Family, Consumer, Human Development from Utah State University and a M.A. in Executive Leadership from Liberty University. She is a podcaster, speaker, former life coach and job coach and is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and create a life they love. As the daughter of a recovering sex addict, Tara understands the deep pain associated with addiction and trauma. But having witnessed her parents and others heal and thrive, she knows that with a committed, willing heart and the right tools, recovery from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma is possible. Tara lives in Southern Utah with her husband, Luke, and their 4 kids.  www.salifeline.org FB - salifelinefoundation Instagram - @salifeline SA Lifeline Recovery Puzzle Blog Post on Disclosure by Claudia Black

Send us a textIn this compelling episode, Dr. Stephanie sits down with Dan Harary, the accomplished author of "Carrots – True Confessions of a Hollywood Sex Addict." Delving into the pages of his raw and honest memoir, Dan takes us on an intimate journey through his personal struggles with sex addiction in the glitzy world of Hollywood. Through candid and thought-provoking conversations, Dan shares the profound insights and revelations that led him to confront his demons and ultimately embark on a path of self-discovery and healing. As we explore the complexities and vulnerabilities of addiction, Dan's story serves as a beacon of hope and resilience for listeners grappling with their own inner battles. Join us as we unravel the layers of "Carrots" and discover the transformative power of honesty, redemption, and self-acceptance in the face of addiction.Support the showEVOLVEYOURINTIMACY.COMSex Therapy |Travel | Retreats| Courses| Podcasts | Articles | Blogs, & VlogsAre you looking to enhance your sexual communication skills? Do you crave a safe space to explore your sexual desires with your partner but aren't sure where to start? Look no further than the Evolve Your Intimacy Podcast, hosted by the renowned Dr. Stephanie.Join Certified Sex Therapist and Licensed Professional Counselor Dr. Stephanie Sigler as she interviews top experts in the field of clinical sexology, veterans in the lifestyle, and popular influencers, bringing you the most accurate information regarding your sexual health and pleasure. NEW SHOWS EVERY 1 & 3rd SATURDAY at 1pmHost: Dr. Stephanie Sigler CST, LPC, PhDIf you enjoy the content we produce, show your love by buying me a coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/evolveyourintimacy

In episode 248, Mark & Steve tackle an extremely intense and heart-breaking submission by a betrayed partner. Here's what she submitted—I have listened to many of your podcast episodes. An area I wish you would do an episode on is how is a spouse to handle it when your porn addicted/SA husband comes home and discloses (not the first time in our marriage) that he has been acting out for several years and contracted an STD. How am I supposed to forgive and get past that? I can't see ever having an intimate relationship with him. However, we have built a great life (other than his sexual addiction) over our 20+ year marriage. He shows remorse, is in therapy as am I. We have not had a Formal Therapeutic Disclosure yet but it's coming. There are a lot of aspects I'm struggling with but would love an episode on navigating an incurable STD. Sincerely, Heartbroken Spouse.Our hearts go out to this betrayed partner! In too many ways, the consequences and fallout are not only devastating upon disclosure, but also create an ongoing traumatic nightmare! There are serious, long-term and permanent medical implications at play with this example which we are not going to tackle here.IT IS CRITICAL that this couple, if they haven't already, seek immediate medical testing and treatment, as well as education regarding the issues at play and their long-term implications. What this is like for betrayed partners?The compounding effects of ”Complex Trauma”—trickled disclosure, “bomb dropping”A “painful paradox”—facing the devastation & realities of disclosure and PAST/ONGOING trauma while at the same time—”We have built a great life over our 20+ years of marriage”What is authentic for her going forward—her wants and her needs; what is she willing to do and not do; VERY SPECIFIC BOUNDARIES around this! What is this like for the porn/sex addict?WHEN the addict is ALL in and doing the WORK, the CONSEQUENCES & OUTCOMES of his past choices do NOT magically go away! In some ways, this process actually INTENSIFIES! How does he PROACTIVELY meet his betrayed partner's authentic wants & needs; provide as much safety as is possible; be TRANSPARENT about his work; his learning; his progress; PROACTIVE PLANS he puts together and presents–LEAD OUT!What is he willing or not willing to “sacrifice” for this to work going forward?When these two worlds COLLIDE—Addiction & Ongoing Trauma—how can a Couple navigate this?!Be mindful of the tendency to reactively make BIG decisions in the midst of intense emotion BEFORE the recovery & healing processes have had a truly fair chance to unfold, progress and bring about positive change. Create as safe a space as possible for OPEN, AUTHENTIC EXPRESSION & DIALOGUE—NOT avoiding, minimizing, care-taking, shutting down, etc., to escape sitting in and talking about the HARDAlthough CRAZY HARD in the midst of addiction & betrayal, TEMPORARILY pushing a “pause” button and “sitting in a state of grace” while the small, progressive steps in the process unfold. Then, having done “all” you feel you can, coming together to ask, “Are we compatible”? Can we “get” to compatibility? HOW?This will, due to the ongoing nature of the issues, NEED TO BE AN ONGOING DISCUSSION, with appropriate medical and mental health professionals involved. For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:  https://www.daretoconnectnow.com/post/how-does-a-betrayed-partner-navigate-the-news-that-their-sex-addict-partner-has-contracted-an-incura

Dr. Rob and Tami explore some questions from sex addicts and betrayed partners about trust, intimacy, gaslighting, and disclosure. Dr. Rob highlights the difference between addictive behaviors and sexual preferences, offers a realistic timeline for full disclosure and healing, and explains (again) that there is nothing a partner can do to force an addict to act out. Dr. Rob has written a number of addiction books and explains which one would be most beneficial to whom, and offers additional support options for addicts and betrayed partners.    TAKEAWAYS: [0:29] Does wearing women's underwear mean I'm in danger of relapsing?  [5:33] How can I enjoy what turns me on without acting out again?  [8:20] What turns you on may or may not have anything to do with your addiction.  [11:05] My partner's fear of acting out again is keeping us from enjoying sex. How can we move forward together?  [14:45] You do not want to have sex with someone you don't trust.  [15:18] Dr. Rob highlights effective timing of disclosure to begin to restore trust.  [19:55] In a safe harbor relationship, both partners are committed to healing for a set period of time.  [21:52] Intimacy is not sex, it is the connection and foundation for healing and trust to be rebuilt. [22:46] Is a serial cheater who wants an open relationship dealing with addiction or lifestyle choice?  [25:01] An addict will always cross boundaries, no matter how wide they are or how open the communication is.  [28:09] My partner is withdrawing from sex again, after years of addiction and healing.  Where do we go from here?  [33:19] Is it typical for betrayal partners to confuse empathy with manipulation and control?  [37:25] How can I honor my boundaries while my addict is healing?  [43:37] Tami's advice for advanced planning and handling an addict's love bombing.  [45:13] Support group for addicts and betrayed partners, and using Dr. Rob's books effectively.  [50:01] How will we ever be able to have a healthy sex life again?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss   QUOTES “If your attraction does not hurt yourself or hurt someone else or cause harm, and it brings you pleasure, even if you don't feel good about it, that doesn't mean that there is something wrong with it.”  “You do not want to have sex with someone that you don't trust.”  “Intimacy is not sex, it is the connection and foundation for healing and trust to be rebuilt.”

In a heartfelt conversation, I discuss the caller's struggles with psoriatic arthritis, depression, and alcoholism, reflecting on the impact of neglectful parenting on childhood. We explore the lasting effects of childhood trauma on self-worth and relationships, emphasizing the need to break negative generational patterns for emotional well-being. Additionally, we delve into a caller's tumultuous relationship marked by infidelity, highlighting the link between past familial dynamics and current relationship challenges. Self-reflection and accountability are key in learning from past mistakes to build healthier relationships in the future.Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!NOW AVAILABLE FOR SUBSCRIBERS: MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING' - AND THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI AND AUDIOBOOK!Also get the Truth About the French Revolution, the interactive multi-lingual philosophy AI trained on thousands of hours of my material, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!See you soon!https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022

On today's episode, we hear about:  ·      A woman whose husband is a sex addict and is saying terrible things about her to friends ·      A woman who's recently sober and wants to manage triggers without relapsing ·      A man who's unhappy because his wife quit her job and isn't looking for a new one   Offers From Today's Sponsors ·      10% off your first month of therapy at BetterHelp ·      Three free months of Hallow ·      25% off Thorne orders ·      20% off Organifi with code DELONY ·     20% off + two pillows at Helix Sleep ·      $350 off Pod 4 Ultra at Eight Sleep ·      Up to 30% off Cozy Earth products with code DELONY ·     20% off DeleteMe with code DELONY Next Steps

Dr. Katherin Elizabeth (K E) Garland is an award-winning creative nonfiction writer, blogger, and author based in Florida. She uses personal essays and memoir to de-marginalize women's experiences with an intent to highlight and humanize contemporary issues, such as reproductive rights, intergenerational trauma, adoption, and mental health issues. Her work has appeared in several online magazines and anthologies, including Midnight & Indigo and Chicken Soup for the Soul. Garland's debut memoir, In Search of a Salve: Memoir of a Sex Addict was released September 2023 with NEW Reads Publications. She is married, with two adult daughters and is an associate professor at a community college. Website: https://www.kegarland.com/Music by Corey Quinn

Jennifer Lopez Is Being Called Sex Addict?!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices