Hi! We are Ally and Jennifer, and we are big girls with big goals. We want to share our knowledge and experience in growing up as the “big girls” and being plus size women in our society today for both our fellow plus size people and those wanting to lear
Ally Haire & Jennifer Kornegay
We've hit you with some pretty heavy topics over the last few weeks, so we thought it was time to dive into a fun conversation around some of our favorite things…And, yes, we'll proudly admit that we recorded an entire episode based on food. Our most favorites, our least favorites, and some questionable choices in between. The takeout, we mean, the takeaway here is that we've had a complicated relationship with food our whole lives. But mac & cheese, tacos, sushi, and fettuccini Alfredo are here to stay.
Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by a pandemic. We realize that we are INCREDIBLY fortunate here. These unprecedented times have taken a lot from each of us, but we got to hold on to those we love most. It breaks our hearts to know that so many others were not so lucky. With that said, we felt the need to get this out. We wanted to acknowledge that these past few years have changed us, and we're still working on figuring out which parts of us are still here, however far down they may be buried. And through all of this, we're learning that we are not alone. And we want you to know that you aren't either.
Breakups suck. That's it. That's the end of the notes.Just kidding.We have a very special listener who is going through a hard time following a very tough breakup, and she asked us to open back up a conversation around some of our past heartbreaks. Specifically, she asked if we could just talk about how we navigated some of these tough times. And the truth is that it's been some time since either of us has really dealt with this firsthand, but we want to help. So, we're digging a little deeper into some old wounds to share some of the things that got us through the minutes, the hours, the days, and the months following these painful points on our timelines.The hardest part of wanting so badly to help our sweet listener is that we don't have all the right answers. We know what worked for us, and we certainly know what didn't. If we could snap our fingers and take that pain away, we'd do it in a heartbeat. With that said, here's what we want you to know. You can do hard things, AND it's okay if it sucks. Some days are going to suck. Some days are going to be really hard. But, your story isn't over. And if you can get through one day, you can get through the next one too. Somehow, that's both the easiest and the hardest way to get through it, just one day at a time.
A letter to any brand calling themselves “Size Inclusive”To Whom it May Concern:XL is not extended sizing.Warmest Regards,The Big Girls ♥️We're not going to go into a long rant here in the show notes because we did a whole lot of that in this episode. We're so over these targeted ads promising a wide selection for our wide bodies only to waste our time with a bullsh*t excuse for extended sizing. We have money to spend, so why doesn't every brand want to take it? Are our bodies not good enough for the most luxurious of labels? Do you want to hide us in the back corner of the store where we have maybe two racks to dig through? Or would you prefer we don't come into your stores at all? Is that why so many brands only offer “extended sizing” online? We could go on, but just listen to the episode. Oh, and hot tip for the fashion industry, we don't want anymore cold shoulder tops. You heard it here first. ✌
The Big Girls Took a "Work Trip!"We definitely did a little work, and we did a whole lot of things that made our souls shine. We ate delicious food. We drank very fun, frozen drinks. We laughed until our stomachs hurt. We walked like a bajillion miles. We connected with our teammates. We danced in a very loud Greek restaurant. And we soaked up ALL the Vitamin D that the Sunshine State had to offer.It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. One of us may have rolled her ankle. One of us may have had to take care of the one who rolled her ankle. We won't name names. But, all in all, we powered through some physical limitations, some amazing conversations, and a surprisingly small number of frustrations.What was our biggest takeaway from our time away from our everyday lives? A few palm trees, a gorgeous pool, and a sunny Florida day can make about 99% of our troubles go away.
Work it, boo.We're continuing with our series of topics that our listeners hand picked for us, and, today, we're talking all things camera confidence!Now, don't get it twisted. We are not the most confident women in the world all day everyday. But, we're trying! We've been learning through our own experiences of stepping out from behind the lens, and one of the most freeing things we've found is that the more we put ourselves out there, the less we care what anyone else thinks. And, guess what. *Spoiler Alert* “You'll stop worrying so much what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.” - David Foster WallaceSo, if you learn anything from this episode, let it be that you are perfect just as you are. Take the damn picture. Wear what makes you happy. And f*ck anyone who has a bad word to say about it. We'll be your hype girls.
HOT TIP: "NO" IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE.As recovering people pleasers, we still struggle with the balancing act of wanting to be everyone's go-to gals and wanting to be overprotective of ourselves. It's certainly not a black and white thing either, right? There's so much grey area here. There are things we may not really feel like doing and things that we really cannot do. And let's face it, we're closing in on our mid-30s, and we still don't get it right everyday.If we had one wish for you, our followers, our listeners, our friends, our families, it would be that you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you are worthy of all good things EVEN IF YOU DON'T SAY "YES" TO EVERYTHING. And, if someone makes you feel like you don't have a choice, it's also okay to say "HELL NO" to continuing that relationship. We know it isn't easy, but damn it, y'all. It's worth it. Some of our best memories have come out of moments where we said "NOPE" to one thing so that we could say "F*CK YES" to something else. And we wouldn't change those decisions if you paid us a million dollars. So, if "no" is still something that feels scary for you, we're challenging you to practice just saying "yes" to more things that light you up. YOU'RE WORTH IT.
Here comes the brides all dressed in...anxiety.As elder millennials, it was right around the time that we were graduating high school that we started getting inundated with the idea of this magical day in the future that we'd be shopping for our weddings gowns. Basically, "Say Yes to the Dress" had just begun its now twenty season run and graced our televisions with the promise of an incredibly beautiful experience on the day that we would choose THE dress. *Spoiler Alert* It was nothing like what we'd seen on TV.While we absolutely acknowledge that plus size brides are not the only ones who struggle with body image on this most hyped up of days, you'd have a hard time convincing us that our experiences wouldn't have been different if we had smaller bodies. So, we're sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly behind our wedding gowns and how they came to be. And just in case any bridal designers stumble onto this episode, here's a tip from us to you: BRIDAL SIZING IS DUMB. That's all.
This one was tough...for one of us.Retail therapy is defined as the act of shopping as a way to relieve emotional distress in other areas of life. Simply put, it's spending money thinking it will make you happy. And it does...for a minute at least. But, so far, there hasn't been a single pair of shoes or a perfect maxi dress that's fixed everything. Have you ever made mistakes in managing your money? Want to know a secret? Statistically, there are more people that DON'T know how to handle their finances than people that do. So why is there so much shame around it? We'll tell you why! It's because we were raised to keep money mishaps behind closed doors as our dirty little secrets. So, we're busting the doors wide open today and sharing some tips to flip the script. Let's get into it!
If you take anything away from this episode, let it be this: DON'T COMMENT ON SOMEONE ELSE'S BODY.And maybe few other tips for being a decent human being on the internet. We are a little angry. We are definitely fed up. And we want to start changing conversations. Here's a good place to start. If you are not one of the medical professionals that we personally see for our healthcare needs, our bodies are none of your business. Here's another note for you. If your approach to selling a product is to target fat women on the internet, you can go ahead and miss us entirely. Get the picture yet? Need a reminder? Here it goes! DON'T COMMENT ON SOMEONE ELSE'S BODY.We popped open a whole can of worms around how we're conditioned to look at weight loss as a whole, and the conversation just flowed from there. There's maybe a few extra curse words in this one and a whole lot of passion, so buckle up and learn something with us as we wrap up our first two-part episode.
Let us start by saying that this episode started out as an interview. It was going great for a solid amount of time...then it took a right...and a left. And somehow it wound up being a two part episode around WLS (Weight Loss Surgery), the assumptions we make around taking the "easy route," not reaching out to strangers on the internet about weight loss, and NOT COMMENTING ON SOMEONE'S BODY.We'll leave you with that...for now. Enjoy our first two part episode! Part II will be released later this week!
We're keeping it casual today, friends. We had the pleasure of hanging out with two of our friends from our real estate lives, and the conversations we had around our bodies, our relationships with food, and our day to day experiences were incredibly eye opening. We know that we are well on our way to having a loving and caring relationship with our own individual body images, but we're still just one bun short of a full belly.
We don't know about you, but we did not wake up like this.Yes, we say it all the time, but one more time for the people in the back. SOCIAL MEDIA IS A HIGHLIGHT REEL. While we're loving the trend toward authenticity, we seem to keep running into the same notion, on screen and off, that we as women shouldn't look like we're trying too hard. And we're not here for it. We'll take a red carpet and a round of applause for the days we slap on a full face and even put on a bra, thank you very much.Long story short, perfection is cancelled. You heard it here first.
We are fully aware that we dropped a pretty heavy episode on you guys earlier this week, so today we're keeping it easy breezy while we gush over our big gal pals!It's been quite a year for the both of us in developing new friendships with people who understand and share in our experiences as plus size women. It's not always easy to discuss life as a big gal with our straight-sized friends through no fault of their own, obviously! Finding people who we've been able to open up to from the moment we met has been literally life changing, and our hope is that this episode may inspire you to find your own tribe of people who can be your safe space too!If you're in the Charlotte area, or you'd just like to follow along with our girl gang here, give @clt.plus a follow. If you don't have a plus size community near you, let this be your sign to start your own!
Sadly, we're talking about a very not fun “D Word” today. Buckle up, it's a heavy one.Millions, literally, millions of people suffer from depression in the US alone. The funny thing is, we can probably count on one hand the number of conversations we've had openly about our mental health struggles. While it's becoming less taboo to talk about, it can definitely still feel so isolating.We don't have the answers to fixing our mental health. Believe us when we say we absolutely wish we did. We just want you to know that you are not alone.ResourcesNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline - (800) 273-8255BetterHelp - An online counseling platform designed to match you with the right therapist based on your specific needs.Instagram Accounts Mentioned@realdepressionproject - An account dedicated to written representation of the daily struggles of depression and anxiety.@ingridclaytonphd - Dr. Clayton's account is based around trauma and coping mechanisms.
Go ahead and grab the whole bottle of wine. We're spilling all the secrets behind our plus size heartbreaks.
This episode should be called "We've Been Talking About Goals for a Week, and We Haven't Shared Our Own Goals." That's a little lengthy, so...WE GOT GOALS, YA'LL!We want to be crystal clear here. These are not our New Year's Resolutions. These are short term goals, long term goals, mindset goals, financial goals...and everything in between. This is an episode centered around why we're here and why we're going to keep showing up in our lives for ourselves, for our families, and for each other.
Hustle? No, thanks. We left her in 2021.For real, though. At some point over these last two years and all these *unprecedented* times, something just clicked for us. There has to be more to life than "the grind." Are we really supposed to just keep our heads down and race through our midlife years so that we can be happy later? Again, no thanks!We say all of that, and then we hyperventilate into paper bags because being "the hardest worker in the world" was who we were. Literally. Our identities were completely wrapped up in our careers, and we didn't know who we were if we weren't saying "yes" to everyone.There has to be a balance. And, damn it, we're going to find it. We may just need to take a nap first.
We are BIG GIRL-CRUSHING today!It's no secret that Instagram is a big part of our lives, and the women we're *gushing* over today have inspired us in so many big ways. It's still crazy to think that you truly can curate your own community over the internet, and these influential rockstars have opened up so many doors for people of all shapes and sizes. We're also throwing in a few of our favorite celebs, and maybe even opening up a bit of a *controversial* can of worms. Check out our list below, and go give them a follow over on the Gram!Ally's ListAshley Graham (@ashleygraham)Melissa McCarthy (@melissamccarthy)Rochelle Johnson (@iambeauticurve)Natalie Drue (@nataliemeansnice)Anna OBrien (@glitterandlazers)Liza Mae (@thatblonderebel)Rosey Blair (@roseybeeme)@whatkaliwears@nataldee@flyforagingerJennifer's ListKelly Clarkson (@kellyclarkson)Meghan Trainor (@meghan_trainor)Chrissy Metz (@chrissymetz)Ashley Dorough (@ashley_dorough)Emily Jane Johnston (@emilyjanejohnston)Alyssa Davis (@alyssacdavis)
Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by the fashion industry. *RAISES BOTH HANDS*In our first episode, we're giving you the lowdown on our favorite plus size brands, some hit or miss choices, and our struggles with shopping in a straight size world growing up. Scroll for the lineup of the brands we mentioned!Super Plus Size Friendly BrandsWalmart $Old Navy $Torrid $$ASOS $$Eloquii $$$Lane Bryant $$$Semi-Friendly Plus Size BrandsBoohoo $H&M $$Target $$Anthropologie $$$Plus Size Brands We Want to Research (An excuse to go shopping. Haha!)SpanxMadewellSheertexGood AmericanUniversal StandardPlus Size Friendly Activewear BrandsFableticsAthleta
New Year, New You? NAH, BOO. We like you just the way you are. Let us guess. Everyone around you is talking about their 2022 resolutions. "When I lose the weight this year, I'll be happy." "I'll slow down when I get that promotion in October." IT'S A TRAP. Hate to break it to you, friends, but, if you keep waiting for the perfect time to live your life, you're going to waste it. Now, don't get us wrong. We're all for learning and growing until we're old and grey, but we're certainly not waiting until that time comes to start making moves. We may not have it all figured out yet, but we're further than we were yesterday. Why now? WHY NOT NOW?
Let's start talking about the M Word: MONEY.Let's be honest, like REAL honest here. Neither one of us have our financial sh*t together. We're learning as we go! We started our journey into financial literacy just a few months ago, and we're sharing some of our first finds with all of you! We've got lots more to learn and big goals when it comes to our financial futures, and these are just a few of the resources that have inspired us to start making money moves. Books“Rich Dad Poor Dad” - Robert Kiyosaki“We Should All Be Millionaires” - Rachel RodgersPodcastsThe Financial Feminist - Tori DunlapBad With Money - Gaby Dunn
Hi, friends! We are Ally Haire and Jennifer Kornegay, and we are BIG GIRLS with BIG GOALS! We are inviting you to come along with us as we learn how to take up space in today's world. We're covering anything and everything from shopping for plus size clothes to teaching ourselves about money and just about all the things in between. We're really just here to share the things that we wish someone would've shared with us a long time ago. So, whether you're a big girl or you've got big goals, OR BOTH, go take up space today. ALL OF IT!