Breast Cancer Is Boring

We're back! and better than *ever. *Breast Cancer Is Boring is not liable for this claim as this episode contains fairly average conversation about New Years Resolutions that, let's face it, don't stand a chance of being fulfilled but you may actually enjoy listening so GET TO IT!

Dr. Amy Morris joins us to discuss whether you can have cake and still limit your chances of a cancer recurrence...too. She's got the evidence-based answers, and they're not as bad as you think. Follow @dramymorris on socials Follow us @breastcancerisboring

We're all for cancer research, but could we please focus more attention on developing a Dr. Who fourth dimensional phone booth situation into a carry-on suitcase?

Here we go a-fucking-gain, another Pinktober on the horizon. You could scream into the void, or you can listen to our Dos and Don'ts list. Or both. Go wild.

If you thought breast cancer was boring, wait 'til you hear about sarcoma. Join special guest and honorary co-host Brandi Thompson as we explore some of the fun ways in which our bodies are out here trying to un-alive us. Yay!

Reconstructed titties have been kept in the dark (or in very, very bad lighting) for too long! It's time to free the (no)nipples! Who's with us?

If you've ever been diagnosed with breast cancer (or any other kind of cancer), you are very familiar with the above phrase. In this episode, join Lauren and Joselyn as they talk through the lasting impact of a cancer diagnosis, from the soul crushing certainty of metastasis to the manic energy of the "fuck it, let's go to Europe" era. In either case, we're gonna have some fun.

Oooh it's that time of the pod year again! A time where we let The Lord loose and lose a view listeners (probs). It's the god, God and gods episode. Enjoy. The League of Women Voters (but, like, everyone can join) The Seven Tenets (but, like, don't click if you believe in an actual Satan because there's, like, skulls and dragons and stuff)

In this long awaited B Side, Rebecca Handler (award winning author of Edie Richter Is Not Alone, podcast alum and general Person of Note) and Joselyn discuss the merits and myriad flaws of big ass churches erected in the name of that one guy who famously told everyone to sell all their shit. Buy Edie Richter Is Not Alone on paperback! Rebecca Handler's blog!

Special guest Rebecca Handler, award winning author of Edie Richter Is Not Alone (novel), One Woman Party (blog) and one hell of a cool woman, is here to talk breast implants, update us on Cancer Jane and tease her next novel. There's laughter, singing and porn metaphors! What's not to love!? Rebecca Handler iykyk Perfume ("Ew da Toilet") Joselyn bought in Paris (ships to lots of countries, including US)

Joselyn went to France that one time, so here she is to dole out indispensable advice on how to France.

First they came for your skinny jeans, now they're here to pry those Lulu leggings right out from under your errand-running ass. It's workout wear, Gen Z style.

In our first ever LIVE-ish show, someone needs a vacation and it's not not Lauren. Vacation Planning Spreadsheet

Ginny and Joselyn discuss the finer points of sexual dominance, the structures surrounding the human vagina, and why so many people don't know what (or where) they are. #findom

You are not prepared for the genius, the hilarity, the sheer enjoyment that is Ginny (@shudlucky), our very special guest on this week's episode. We're talking social media, working out (or not), why the only mastectomy titties you can find online are white and so, so much more. Follow Ginny on IG! Follow us on IG! Email us (yes, really!) breastcancerisboring@gmail.com

One day we will all race through space-time a la Star Trek Discovery, or the mushrooms will end us all. Either way, these magic mushrooms are cool as shit. Understanding Star Trek Discovery's mycelial network Paul Stamets' TED Talk on why mushrooms are so damn cool (also watch Fantastic Fungi on Netflix) An academic article on the morphology of the mycelial network

One pill to make you larger, one pill to make you small, one pill to stave off a cancer recurrence that would prevent you from going to Paris, and one pill to help with the anxiety you feel about having to take a pill to stave off a cancer recurrence that would prevent you from going to Paris. We're talking drugs, ya'll.

Joselyn is going to Paris and she's got a spreadsheet for that; now you can too. Click the link below for an International Trip Planner spreadsheet and follow along to this episode for tips on how to use it. International Trip Planner!

No way around it, this one's about death. If you're not here for it, no prob. If you are, it's going to be fun, sad, difficult and encouraging. No one should have to talk about death alone, so join us. Some general info on living wills and MPOAs. Info on donating your body to science. Human composting is a thing. Eight hours of peaceful birdsong to calm you after listening to this episode and thinking on the inevitability of your own bodily demise.    

In this B Side, Joselyn and Lauren try a thought experiment where they fantasize about what they would do, what they would wear, how they would live if they were the person they long to be. And then try to rectify why they aren't that person. What fun!  

Well, did you? Because we missed you. Join us as we kick off this season with an update on what we've been doing the past few months, our hopes and dreams for the rest of the year and a sneak peak at what's coming for BCIB S4.

Lauren and Joselyn try to talk you into (and out of) doing things in this new segment, Pep Talks. First up: exercising.

Lauren and Joselyn discuss the flawed research studies and empty cancer cure promises that seem to flood our internet feeds, and how these false claims can turn good girls bad. Do you know how to spot shoddy research studies? You will after listening to this. What is your villain origin story? Receipts: FDA Clinical Trial Phases  CDC resource for understanding evidence Levels of Evidence (US Preventative Services Task Force) Levels of Evidence for Clinical Practice Guidelines Evidence Pyramid 

From our breasts to our bones, there's a whole lotta scans to be done for those of us with a history of cancer. But how do you know which scans you need? This episode breaks down the current guidelines, as well as some questionable coping strategies to help manage scanxiety. Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Join us on IG @breastcancerisboring. References: Guidelines for breast cancer screenings for people at average risk: https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/breast/pdf/breast-cancer-screening-guidelines-508.pdf Guidelines for breast cancer screening for people at high risk (halfway down page): https://www.cancer.org/cancer/breast-cancer/screening-tests-and-early-detection/american-cancer-society-recommendations-for-the-early-detection-of-breast-cancer.html Breast Cancer risk assessment tool: https://bcrisktool.cancer.gov/calculator.html Bone density and estrogen deficiency: https://www.uptodate.com/contents/evaluation-and-management-of-aromatase-inhibitor-induced-bone-loss What is a Dexa scan and what do the scores mean: https://www.breastcancer.org/treatment-side-effects/osteoporosis Now that you're good and stressed, here's a video of a baby monkey making friends with a baby pig: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrYQbWwHKVo

Joselyn is joined by Angela (of They Can't All Be Betty fame) and Jess (improv theatre and writers' group legend) to discuss the show they all hate to love to hate: The Bachelorette. Not watching? Good for you. Also, it literally will not matter as they break down the stars, the contestants, the hosts and the rampant patriarchal misogyny inherent in the premise. Good times! Follow us on IG: @breastcancerisboring Check out Angela's podcast They Can't All Be Betty

We discuss the books we're reading, the state of our boobs (and what a state they are), and the many scars that are left behind to remind you "remember that time you had cancer - hahaha!" Hilarious. Follow us on Instagram?

If you have never seen the 1940 Alfred Hitchcock masterpiece Rebecca starring Judith Anderson, et al., then you are in for an education, an entertainment, and a thorough scolding of remakes that misunderstand the assignment. Let's get mad about movies!! Receipts: Take time out of your busy schedule and watch Rebecca (1940): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1uvgx3NUR0

Not great, thanks for asking! Things are colossally shitty right now and we're going to talk about it, and by "it" we mean abortion, religion, politics, not showering and our hair falling out. You know, just your basic female hysteria. Receipts: Some facts on abortion from actual doctors and shit: https://www.acog.org/advocacy/abortion-is-essential/come-prepared/abortion-access-fact-sheet Maternal mortality rates are three times higher for black women: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/maternal-mortality/2020/maternal-mortality-rates-2020.htm Delaying abortion increases the risk to the pregnant person: https://www.guttmacher.org/evidence-you-can-use/medicaid-coverage-abortion#:~:text=The%20risk%20of%20abortion%20complications,at%2018%20weeks%20or%20later. People do not regret their abortions: https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2020/01/416421/five-years-after-abortion-nearly-all-women-say-it-was-right-decision-study Facts about fetal development from actual doctors and shit: https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/how-your-fetus-grows-during-pregnancy Susan G. has been garbage for a while now: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/karen-handel-susan-g-komen-decision-defund-planned-parenthood_n_1255948 Cancer foundations respond to SCOTUS strike-down of Roe (check out Stupid Cancer's response if you want to see how it's done): https://cancerletter.com/the-cancer-letter/20220701_6/

Have you tried to buy a new car lately? It's bonkers. There are no new cars, used cars are way more expensive than they should be, and salespeople are children. Let's talk about it.

It's the annual god episode everybody, so sit back, relax and prepare to be either offended or elated. Either way, let us know what you think! Follow us on IG: @breastcancerisboring

When a nurse gets cancer, it's a whole other thing and no one knows that better than Theresa Brown; she's a nurse, a best-selling author and a person living with a breast cancer diagnosis. She's also our special guest on this episode! Theresa Brown's website: https://www.theresabrownrn.com/ Theresa Brown's NYT Article on Bullying in Healthcare: https://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/08/opinion/08Brown.html

Ah, good ol' Bach Nation; so popular and yet so problematic. Joselyn and Angela try to parse out why they can't stop watching this bastion of misogyny couched as "traditional values" and explore whether it has the potential to change.

Are you good with money? Great; us neither. And that's okay because David and John from The Queer Money Podcast are our special guests on this episode and they're talking everything from getting out of debt, to planning for retirement, to making sure your skin still looks good when you get there. Tapping in as Honorable Cohost is the amazing Angela from They Can't All Be Betty Podcast! Be excited. Queer Money Podcast They Can't All Be Betty Podcast

Have you ever started reading a book, realized 30% of the way through that you're not into it, but then kept reading until you were 60% of the way through only to discover that, unsurprisingly, you're still not into it? This is just about that. The book: A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

It's the Joselyn solo episode that no one was asking for! Just fiftyish minutes of what I'm reading, watching, doing, working, buying and feeling. Enjoy. Links you might like: CDC covid guidelines by county: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/your-health/covid-by-county.html Just three hours of relaxing birdsong: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA5THpy0zsg

We've got the nerdiest books, the nerdiest shows, the nerdiest banter of any breast cancer podcast out there.

Suzy Biddiscombe (@feelingcreatively) is our special guest star on this episode where we talk creativity, pandemic mommyhood, illustrating a bunny with cancer and lazers with a capital Z. Follow Suzy on IG: @feelingcreatively Check out her Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/FeelingCreatively?ref=profile_header Check out her digital Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/feelingnerdy

Nobody likes doing them, but when Joselyn and Lauren file their taxes there's a little extra irritation that's always waiting for them: Misogyny. Also, TurboTax (Intuit) is a garbage company and the reason taxes aren't free and easy: https://www.propublica.org/article/inside-turbotax-20-year-fight-to-stop-americans-from-filing-their-taxes-for-free https://www.nbcnews.com/business/taxes/turbotax-h-r-block-spend-millions-lobbying-us-keep-doing-n736386 https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2022-03-29/the-ftc-sues-turbotax-over-its-efforts-to-keep-you-from-filing-taxes-for-free https://www.opensecrets.org/news/2022/03/intuit-spends-millions-lobbying-amid-accusations-of-deceptive-turbotax-advertising/

We're discussing how we've changed since getting cancer; physically, mentally, emotionally and hormonally. Considering how far we've come, would we give it all up just to avoid having had cancer in the first place? Absofuckinglutely.

Joselyn and Lauren solve the Wordle of the day together because sometimes a five-letter word puzzle is the only thing that gets you out of bed in the morning. Think you can solve it before we do? You're on!

Joselyn is mad all the time and Lauren feels like a cardboard box. Let's discuss!

Lauren is resolved to read four adult books this year, so Joselyn describes the books she read in the second half of 2021 to see if anything sounds worthy. Books discussed: The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri Edie Richter Is Not Alone by Rebecca Handler Authority by Jeff VanderMeer Acceptance by Jeff VanderMeer The Queen of Blood by Sarah Beth Durst The Reluctant Queen by Sarah Beth Durst Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit And I Do Not Forgive You by Amber Sparks

It's Season 3 bay-bee, and in this episode we're looking back at our 2021 projections and setting new ones for 2022 (mostly nail stickers and Call of Duty because it's been a year and we're exhausted from the lack of estrogen). Are you glad we're back? Comment on our Instagram: @breastcancerisboring

It's the season finale, so join us as we discuss that thing you found on the side of your throat that never used to be there or that new pain you have in your hip; wherever and whatever it is, math says it's both cancer and not cancer at the same time.

Join us for the first annual Breast Cancer Is Boring Comedy Showcase starring Helen Park! We're talking breaking into comedy over Zoom, turning unfunny cancer into hilarious boob coasters and our endless love for Tig Notaro. Receipts: Seriously, who doesn't love Tig Notaro: https://youtu.be/WwFiFJn-v5w?t=176

Healthcare workers say the darnedest things, right? A casual comment with no ill intent can be incredibly triggering; so what do you say? Joselyn and Lauren talk it through.

You think religious vampire zealots are scary, wait until you get a load of where your breast cancer charity donations are going. It's downright terrifying!   Receipts: Susan G.'s most recent financial report: https://www.komen.org/wp-content/uploads/fy19-20-annual-report.pdf Disparities in breast cancer mortality 2006: https://www.youngsurvival.org/learn/about-breast-cancer/statistics Disparities in breast cancer mortality 2019: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6941147/ Komen suing other cancer charities: https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748703700904575390950178142586 Komen cuts funding to PP, restores it after backlash: https://www.cnbc.com/id/100803324 Planned Parenthood providing people with cancer screenings: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/uploads/filer_public/67/30/67305ea1-8da2-4cee-9191-19228c1d6f70/210219-annual-report-2019-2020-web-final.pdf Susan G. sure likes donating money to Republicans: https://www.opensecrets.org/orgs/susan-g-komen-for-the-cure/totals?id=D000057325 Run your charity through Charity Navigator: https://www.charitynavigator.org/ Get involved to make lasting change and save lives: https://www.stopbreastcancer.org/focus/policy/

Joselyn and Lauren just have a lot going on right now and they are talking about it. Tangentially. Chaotically. It's pretty great, actually.

Cancer and dementia are in a dead heat for our demise, but that doesn't mean we're letting these eyebrows slip.

Rebecca Handler is the author of Edie Richter is Not Alone (perhaps you've heard of it; it's kind of a big deal) and she's joining us to talk about death humor, why "journey" is such a triggering word and horror dolls made with 100% human hair. Oh yeah, and also breast cancer.

I'm fine. This is fine. Everything is fine.