But We Loved

Andy Tobias is one of the most well-known financial thinkers in America and was the treasurer of the Democratic National Committee for almost 20 years. He's also the author of "The Best Little Boy in the World." Often considered the first book to openly address gay American life, it has impacted over a million readers. Andy reflects on his own life experiences trying to be "the best little boy in the world."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark S. King is in recovery for a Crystal Meth addiction that almost destroyed his life. Gay men are 4x more likely to use Crystal Meth than straight men. Mark reflects on what was at the root of his addiction and how he became sober.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tom Viola stepped down in December 2024, after leading Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS for 36 years. His fundraising has helped save countless lives. He reminisces on what it was like to live through the grief and trauma of the AIDS crisis — and how he coped.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this recap of our season's coverage of AIDS, we weave together the different voices of our guests — and their memories — of surviving the AIDS Crisis.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Martha Shelley was one of the architects of the mid 20th century gay rights movement. She recalls the issues she fought against back then — and explains why they're so relevant today.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ellen Broidy proposed and helped lead the very first Pride March in 1970 in NYC. She reflects back on what inspired the march, what its original goals were, and whether she believes those goals have been achieved.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ken Lustbader is a historic preservationist and co-director of the NYC LGBT Historic Sites Project — which has identified nearly 500 historically queer sites in New York. He reflects on how becoming a historian was motivated by living through the loss of the AIDS Crisis.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bill Glenn is the author of I Came Here Seeking a Person. A Vital Story of Grace; One Gay Man's Spiritual Journey. In the 70s, he trained to be a Catholic priest, but left the seminary at 29. But just as he left, his priestly gifts of love and compassion would be needed to get him — and the thousands of queer people he touched — through the AIDS Crisis.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Richard Burns has been a pillar of the American LGBTQ+ rights movement. He helped organize the first National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights in 1979. Later, he became the executive director of the NYC LGBTQ Center when New York was the epicenter for AIDS. Here, he discusses his role in history and why that history must be protected and passed down to young people.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In the 80s and 90s, Derek Hodel was the executive director of the New York Buyer's Club — also known as the People with AIDS Health Group. When life saving AIDS drugs in America were too expensive or not approved yet, Derek bypassed the American healthcare system and brought them in from abroad. He reflects on his work and its impact, nearly 40 years later.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Greg Louganis is often considered the greatest diver of all time. But his sports journey was intertwined with his deep desire to be loved by his parents. He relives the moment when his HIV status, sexual orientation, and diving career all collided at once: the 1988 Summer Olympics.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Michael Willhoite wrote the 2nd most challenged book of the 1990s — a children's book called "Daddy's Roommate." The book set off a cultural and political firestorm in America. But Michael recounts how he never sought out to be political. He just wanted to write a children's book.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jewelle Gomez co-founded GLAAD, the premier queer media watchdog organization, in 1985. She realized early that media was a tool that could prevent homophobia — or perpetuate it. She recounts why GLAAD was founded and why it's still needed today.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Patrik Ian-Polk is the creator of Noah's Arc, the first scripted TV show to center Black gay men. The show defied stereotypes and developed a cult following in the 2000s. He discusses the superheroes in his own life that served as his inspirations.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Peter Staley was one of the most prominent members of the AIDS activism group ACT-UP. He is largely credited as one of the pioneers responsible for the creation of life-saving AIDS drugs. He recounts the most harrowing times of the AIDS crisis — and how he persevered.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode contains frank discussion on suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. In 1998, Celeste Lecesne co-founded the Trevor Project, the nation's leading suicide prevention organization for queer youth. It was born out of an oscar-winning suicide awareness film he wrote called "Trevor." Celeste recounts how the film was actually based on his own life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Susan Stryker is a historian who unearthed the story of Compton's Cafeteria, the first known full-scale queer riot against police harassment in American history. She describes the events of the riot and how her discovery impacted her own life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Luis Camacho Xtravaganza was one of the ballroom dancers who choreographed Madonna's music video for "Vogue." It took voguing from the underground to the mainstream. He relives this complicated time — the rush of stardom and the consequences that came with it.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Rayceen Pendarvis is an elder in the House of Pendavis. Rayceen recounts the beginnings of ballroom, how it exploded in the early 90s thanks to Madonna and “Paris is Burning,” and how, simultaneously, it began collapsing from within as AIDS ravaged the community.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Larry Colton was profoundly impacted by the AIDS crisis in San Francisco. He reflects on the most difficult loss he endured and what he legacy he was left with. Vote for us to win our first Signal Award here! For "Best LGBTQ+ Podcast Episode." Voting closes Oct. 17th.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Experts say 20-30% of the LGBTQ community abuses substances. Donald Flowers Jr. is a gay man who was addicted to alcohol, cocaine, crystal meth, and sex. He reflects on his struggles with addiction and his journey to sobSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get your ticket to our free live show here, this Sunday, September 29th at 2:30pm in NYC! Stewart Butler shaped much of the vibrant queer culture in New Orleans, through his political activism. He was driven by the loss of 32 queer people in the Upstairs Lounge Fire in 1972 — a fire that he witnessed with his own eyes. Frank Perez is an LGBTQ+ historian who recounts Stewart's story for us.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sherry Vine is a legendary drag queen that came up in the 90s, in NYC. She's aware of drag's super power: helping queer people escape from the pain of their lives. She was at the center of that during the AIDS crisis.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In 2009, Annise Parker became the first openly gay mayor of a major American city. As mayor, her signature piece of equal rights legislation famously failed — but it drove her to help elect more LGBTQ+ Americans into office than ever before.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lori Branch was one of the pioneering DJs of house music in the 80s. She reflects on the queer origins of the genre, how this history was erased, and why house music still resonates with so many queer people today.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alex Espinoza is the author of the only official history on gay cruising: Cruising: An Intimate History of a Radical Pastime. He reflects on how cruising helped him find self confidence and led him to the love he had always been searching for.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Studio 54 was much more than a club. It was the embodiment of disco — a movement that empowered LGBTQ+ Americans and prepared them for a fight they never saw coming. Hal Rubenstein, a fashion icon, was a regular there. He remembers how the highs of the 70s sustained him through the lows of the 80s.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In Part 2 of our episode with Tabytha Gonzalez, she details the consequences of her sex work: a harrowing drug addiction followed by 16 years of incarceration. And she reflects on how years later, she'd return to The Stroll with a new purpose.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tabytha Gonzalez is a trans woman who worked on The Stroll in the 90s, a historic area of NYC known for sex work. She recounts the freedom that sex work gave her — and the costs that came with it.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Danny Ingram was a gay soldier who had to stay closeted during the military's ban on gay people in the 80s. But when his partner began to die of AIDS, he realized he couldn't stay silent any longer. He decided to fight to end the ban — and 17 years later, he would win.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brandon Wolf survived the Pulse nightclub shooting in 2016. Hailing from rural Oregon, Brandon reflects on how the club — and the people in it — changed his life forever.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jim Obergefell was the plaintiff in the case that legalized gay marriage for all of America in 2015 (Obergefell v. Hodges). Behind that case was a story of love and loss.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A lawsuit meant Zoe Dunning was the only LGBTQ+ person allowed in the miltiary for 13 years. Compliant at first, she would tranform into one of the most vocal opponents against the military's ban on gays. She would eventually stand next to President Obama as he abolished the ban for good.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jason Prefontaine's father died from AIDS related complications. Decades later, he reunited with him in an unexpected way. Special thank you to Trent Straube for originally writing this story in Poz Magazine 2021.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chris Pimentel lost his first love to AIDS in 1991. But 30 years later, that love story got an unexpected new chapter. Part 2 of this love story drops next week.Special thank you to Trent Straube for originally writing this story in Poz Magazine 2021See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Coming out on YouTube has defined a generation of young queer people. In 2015, Ingrid Nilsen posted one of the most viewed coming out videos of all time. She reflects on the positive and negative impact it's had on her life and millions of others.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Evan Wolfson was a major figure in the fight for gay marriage in America. He shares how - ironically - he never thought he'd get married, what changed his mind, and how his 32 year fight for marriage equality changed America.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jean Carlomusto is an Emmy-nominated documentarian. But in the 1980s, she was a scrappy filmmaker documenting the AIDS crisis for ACT UP. She reflects on the impact that lesbians like her had in responding to the deadly epidemic that was mostly affecting gay men. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this special episode, we learn more about our host, Jordan Gonsalves, in an interview with Eric Marcus from Making Gay History. Jordan shares his coming out story, the inspiration behind But We Loved, and what listeners can expect from future episodes.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Martin Boyce was part of the historic Stonewall Riots in June 1969. He recounts the events of that night in detail and reflects on how his actions changed America for generations to come.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As a gay kid growing up Catholic, in conservative Texas, Jordan Gonsalves knew nothing about queer history. Now, as a journalist, he's searching for the stories he craved when he was coming of age. Through intimate interviews with LGBTQ+ elders, Jordan uncovers the untold stories of queer history. And in the process, he discovers the role models he always needed and the wisdom they've been waiting to pass down.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.