Podcasts about gay men

Something goes wrong in bed and gay men immediately blame desire, performance, or themselves. Sex educator and trauma specialist Fran Frye says they're diagnosing the wrong problem. The real issue is the nervous system — and most men have no idea it's running the show. Rick and Fran dig into the five nervous system responses that hijack sexual experiences, why porn is an idea not a manual, and how shame quietly replaces honest communication for gay men over 40. This is not a conversation about dysfunction. It's about finally understanding what your body has been trying to tell you. Key Takeaways: Why "erectile difficulties" are almost always psychological, not physicalHow fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and fuck responses show up during sexThe difference between consent and compliance, and why it mattersWhy gay men struggle more than most with saying noWhat emotional literacy actually looks like in an intimate encounterHow to pause high arousal states before they run the show About Fran Fran Frye works at the intersection of sexuality, trauma, and compassion, with a particular focus on supporting men as they unpack their sexuality within a patriarchal culture that often labels them as dangerous, defective, or emotionally closed off. She helps dismantle these narratives through curiosity, empathy and practical tools that foster healthier relationships with the body, partners and self. A certified Sex Educator, Counselor, and Clinician trained in compulsive sexual behaviors, Fran is also a somatic sex practitioner. Her work spans sexual shame, trauma, grief, relationship rupture and body disconnection, grounded in both professional training and lived experience as a sexual assault survivor, former military spouse, and athlete. Beyond her professional work, Fran is deeply committed to service. Over the years she has volunteered in several areas of crisis and community support, including suicide prevention, rape victim's advocacy, human trafficking prevention, and serving as a rape crisis hotline operator. She has also contributed to efforts addressing food scarcity, sits with hospice patients in their final chapters, and supports Veterans and their families. These experiences have brought her into close contact with trauma, grief, courage, and resilience - insights she carries directly into the compassionate, grounded way she supports others. Connect With Fran Website Instagram YouTube Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you're going to do, but never do? Then it's time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

A lot of gay men pride themselves on being “nice”— easygoing, agreeable, low-drama. But what if that's exactly why you're not getting what you want? In this episode, we break down the difference between being kind and being “nice,” and how approval-seeking, conflict avoidance, and over-accommodating are quietly killing attraction, respect, and real connection.  We talk about: Why “nice” is often a strategy, not a personality The hidden cost of being liked by everyone How this shows up in dating and relationships The difference between being chosen vs. being liked How to shift from approval-seeking to self-respecting If you've ever felt overlooked, under-appreciated, or stuck in the friend-zone, this one will hit. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deeper: The Nice Guy Trap(00:01:04) - Being Nice(00:03:16) - What Does Being A Nice Guy Actually Mean To You?(00:05:46) - Matt on Being A Nice Guy(00:09:49) - Have You Ever Been The Nice Guy?(00:13:30) - Is Your Friend Think You're A Nice Guy?(00:17:16) - What Is Niceness In Your Relationships?(00:20:09) - Gayman's Brotherhood: Connection Circles(00:20:54) - Why Being a Nice Guy Backfires in Dating(00:23:16) - Matt Says Being Honest In Dating Backfires(00:28:19) - In the Elevator With Michael(00:29:38) - Gay Men on Dating and Relationships(00:30:19) - How to Shift From Being Nice to Being Chosen(00:35:02) - How To Be With Yourself(00:39:06) - Be Candid With Yourself(00:42:15) - Michael Jackson on Not Being Like Everyone(00:45:34) - Matt on Not Being the Nice Guy(00:48:20) - Thank You!

In this episode, we explore the psychology of gay men through the lens of psychology, sociology, human behavior, and modern research. We discuss how sexual orientation develops, the role of identity and self-discovery, relationship dynamics, masculinity, mental health, family acceptance, and social pressures. We also examine common myths and misconceptions, what scientists and psychologists have learned over the years, and the challenges and experiences that many gay men face in different cultures and societies. This educational discussion aims to encourage understanding, critical thinking, and informed conversation about human sexuality and behavior.Podcast: Sunday, Monday, and ThursdayLINKS:⁠⁠⁠https://www.officialmoringamagic.com/#aff=enamul33 ⁠⁠⁠ moringa pillsMasonic Regalia and Jewelry Wholesale Prices | Bricks Masons https://bit.ly/4a2nn4DThe Encyclopedia of Power Foods- Latest2024! Ebooks https://bit.ly/49XfoWn⁠⁠⁠https://www.legalcontracts.com/?pid=p⁠⁠⁠Business sponsorship inquiries: evolutionoflondon@gmail.comShop now: www.evolutionoflondon.com(online shopping mall)www.evolutionoflondon.org(custom clothing accessories digital products)www.linktree.com/evolutionoflondon. www.patreon.com/evolutionoflondonDonate/PayPal:Evolutionoflondon@gmail.comMusic: cheap limousine channel on YouTubeGreatness19 channel on YouTubeMr. Evolution of London (health and wellness) on YouTubeWJA Accessories (fitness consultant)Email: healthfitnessconsultant1@gmail.com

Gay men over 40 know how to find sex. What most of them have never been taught is how to find connection. Court Vox is a certified sex and intimacy coach, founder of The Bodyvox, and one of the sharpest voices working with GBTQ men on what actually gets in the way of real intimacy. He joins Rick to talk about choice fatigue on dating apps, the ruptures that quietly kill relationships before they start, and why so much of what gay men call attraction is really just unexamined shame running the show. This is the conversation about desire that most men are not ready to have. Key Takeaways: How app culture creates choice fatigue that makes genuine connection harderWhy rupture and repair skills are the most underrated tools in any relationshipHow to tell the difference between facts and feelings when conflict hitsThe role homophobia and internalized misogyny play in gay men's attraction patternsWhy resistance to certain desires is almost always repression in disguiseWhat somatic coaching does that talk therapy alone cannot About Court Court Vox is a Certified Sex & Intimacy Coach, based in Los Angeles CA . He is Founder of The Bodyvox. Through his courses, workshops, retreats, and private immersions, clients cultivate toys to unlock limitations and shame, to embrace a deeper sense of intimacy with their whole self. Traditional forms of therapy are done solely through talk, while the work of a somatic coach is to further this form of work via body-based exercises, experiential learning, and touch, in comfortable, judgment-free, and caring environments. Body acceptance, exploration of sensation and desires (and learning how to ask for what you want), boundary-setting and intimacy work are some of the many reasons clients seek this form of learning. Vox is a sex educator experienced working with clients of all sexualities and genders and has been featured in AskMen.com, Cosmopolitan, and Well & Good magazines. He offers workshops and retreats across the globe for GBTQ men, and is also part of an elite team of sex educators that create the celebrated program for women, Back to the Body. His online course and community, Invitations to Intimacy, offers foundations in embodiment suited for the eroticerotic, as well as a community of like-minded individuals to support one another on their journey. Attend Courts Events in 2026 Camp Connect Connect - Joshua Tree Connect With Court Website Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you're going to do, but never do? Then it's time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Hookups get a bad rap as shallow, transactional, or disconnected. But what if they could actually become a space for growth, awareness, and real connection? In this episode, we're advocating for shift from default, unconscious hookups  to something more intentional, honest, and grounded. We explore how hookup culture can either reinforce negative patterns or become a powerful mirror for your patterns, desires, boundaries, and capacity for intimacy. We talk about: Why hookups aren't the problem—but how we show up in them can be The difference between unconscious vs. intentional hookups How to bring honesty, communication, and authenticity into casual sex How our own hookups have evolved over time Practical ways to make hookups more enjoyable, respectful, and connected—for everyone involved This isn't about judging hookup culture or pretending it should be something it's not. It's about raising the standard of how you show up—so even casual encounters can feel aligned, present, and real. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - How To Elevate Your Hookup Culture(00:02:22) - The Pros and Cons of Hookup Culture(00:05:50) - What are the cons of hookup culture?(00:07:12) - How Gay Men View Their Hookups(00:11:36) - No More Sex: We Need Love(00:13:34) - What Makes A Hookup Good For You?(00:17:38) - "Honesty Is What Makes A Hookup Good"(00:21:15) - Demisexual Guy On Grindr(00:25:31) - Demisexual People Talk About Their Sexualities(00:26:00) - Michael On His Hookups...(00:29:59) - Elevating Your Hookups(00:31:16) - PODCAST: Please support the community

Can gay men successfully retire early? A lot of gay men tell us the same thing:“I want to retire early.”Or, let's be honest, “I want to retire yesterday.”But then comes the panic: “I don't know if I have enough.” “I don't know how much money I actually need.” “I don't know how to get from here to there.”And this is where most retirement advice makes everything worse. It tells you to chase one giant magic number: $2 million, $3 million, $4 million, or whatever number makes you want to close your laptop, pour a cocktail, and think about it later.But early retirement usually isn't about one giant number. It's about having the right money in the right places at the right time.In this episode of Queer Money, we're talking about how gay men successfully retire early by using five tactics that can speed up your retirement timeline, reduce panic, and help you design a retirement that actually fits your life.Because for gay men, retirement planning is not just about money. It's also about time, health, freedom, safety, location, relationships, and whether you really want to keep working under fluorescent lighting until Medicare shows up.Takeaways from this episode:Why chasing one giant retirement number can sabotage early retirement planningHow to calculate your gap number and your bridge numberWhy early retirement is about income sequencing, not just accumulationHow to build an income bridge before you leave workWhy taxable brokerage accounts, Rule of 55, 72(t), Roth conversions, and cash may all matterHow early retirement can create a powerful tax-planning windowWhy your health should be treated as a financial assetWhy working “just a few more years” is not always freeHow to stress test your retirement plan before you leave workWhy gay men may need to design retirement more intentionally than the traditional advice suggestsThe bigger truth? Early retirement is not always about having more money. Sometimes it's about making better decisions with the money you already have.If you want help understanding your numbers, your timeline, and your next steps, schedule a Queer Money Retirement Readiness Review at the link in the show notes.We'll help you look at where you are, what you have, what you want, and what steps may help you retire early, retire abroad, or simply retire better.Stay fabulous, not fabulously broke.Mentioned in this episode:What if your portfolio came with a visa and passport?That's exactly what the Optimize Portugal Golden Opportunities Fund can do, bringing together diversification, tax efficiency, and a path to EU residency and a passport. Click the link below to explore your ticket to Europe.Get Your Portugal Golden Visa Here!Portugal is calling. Will you answer?Don't just dream of moving to Portugal, make it happen with the investments in your IRA. Investing in Portugal gets you residency, the ability to work in Portugal and returns that just may outpace the U.S. like the Optimize Portugal Golden Opportunities fund did in 2025. Get Your Portugal Golden Visa Here!

LZ opens his “You Are Beautiful” podcast and interviews Tan France about what makes people feel beautiful, personal style, and self-image. Tan shares his daytime and evening go-to outfits, love of jewelry, and his husband's style influence, then discusses coping with online criticism and the broader culture of cruelty. He reflects on looking in the mirror, gratitude for health after a recent benign scare, appreciation for his Pakistani skin after years of hating it due to racism, and his birth name pronunciation. Tan recounts learning to sew as a child to make clothes for his mother and sister, navigating being queer and not fully out to family, and the nuance of being a visibly gay Muslim on Western TV. They discuss Queer Eye's impact, production time with participants, meaningful and difficult “heroes,” Tan's struggle with aging, marriage priorities, and advice for finding style by borrowing inspiration and building your own.Menu: 00:00 Welcome You Are Beautiful00:53 Meet Tan France01:50 Signature Style Staples06:09 Handling Online Hate12:23 Mirror Check Self Image15:45 Learning To Love Skin17:11 Real Name Roots18:41 Fashion Spark Sewing21:50 Queer Eye Coming Out25:08 Representation And Stakes27:27 Rock Bottom Realization27:37 Early Attraction Awakening28:00 Dad's Store Lessons29:14 Watching Queer Eye Hurt30:31 Why Style Matters31:08 Makeover Intimacy Method32:02 Queer Eye Time Limits34:07 Choosing Stores and Stylists36:31 Hero Who Changed Him37:58 When Heroes Resist38:38 A Racist Hero Incident40:53 Favorite Feel Good Episodes42:01 When Self Care Slips44:13 Struggling With Aging46:33 Gay Men and Beauty Pressure48:48 Off Camera Fab Five51:15 Marriage Secret Sauce52:12 Dating and LA Insecurity53:39 Finding Signature Style54:58 Beautiful Because Authentic

The Des Moines Gay Men's Chorus sings music with a message. On this episode of Talk of Iowa, we hear from two members as the chorus turns 25 years old. Then, we hear from the founder of 'The Healing Obituary.' She teaches how to write obituaries and makes the case for why they should be done by humans.

"Come forth, wake up gay, feel gay, go to sleep gay."America turns 250 years old this year, and Pride is 56 years young. In this special episode featuring the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles, Sapphire's Earplay celebrates Pride, resilience, and the songs that shaped LGBTQIA+ history.GMCLA is taking over the Saban Theatre in Los Angeles on June 27 & 28 with Declarations of Independence — a powerful celebration of music that has defined and inspired the LGBTQIA+ community for generations.Grab your tickets at gmcla.org/declarations and use code WEHOPRIDE26 for a special discount at checkout.Stay Connected: https://linktr.ee/msradiosapphire

Many gay men believe their struggles stem from anxiety, loneliness, dating frustrations, low self-esteem, or difficult relationships. But underneath many of these challenges lies a quieter and often overlooked pattern: self-abandonment. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how gay men learn to disconnect from their feelings, needs, boundaries, anger, instincts, and even their dignity in order to preserve connection, approval, desirability, or emotional safety. Drawing from more than 30 years of clinical work, Ken explains how childhood experiences of conditional acceptance, invisibility, bullying, and self-monitoring can evolve into adult patterns of self-suppression that quietly erode self-respect and intimacy. Topics include: What self-abandonment actually is Why many gay men learn to prioritize acceptance over authenticity How self-abandonment masquerades as maturity, patience, and understanding The hidden resentment created by chronic self-suppression Nine common forms of self-abandonment in everyday life How to set boundaries without guilt The difference between healthy compromise and self-betrayal Why authentic relationships require self-respect If you've ever found yourself laughing off hurt feelings, staying too long in one-sided relationships, over-explaining your boundaries, suppressing your anger, or making yourself smaller to keep the peace, this episode offers a framework for understanding what's happening—and how to begin reconnecting with yourself.

Most gay men were never shown what lasting love actually looks like. Steven C. Law lived it for 45 years and then wrote a book to make sure nobody forgets what it cost to love freely before the world made room for it. "The Story of Bob" traces the life of gay rights activist Reverend Bob Wood, a man who spent decades hiding his relationship out of fear, denying himself the simplest moments of connection. Steven and Rick get honest about what it means to be celebrated rather than tolerated, why gay men over 40 carry grief they have never named, and what a 45-year relationship teaches you about love that has nothing left to prove. Key Takeaways: Why being tolerated is not enough and what being truly celebrated actually feels likeWhat Bob Wood's hidden love story reveals about the price gay men paid to surviveHow long-term gay relationships evolve into something most people never get to experienceWhy gay men over 40 carry unprocessed grief from an era nobody wants to revisitWhat 45 years with the same man teaches you about intimacy, silence, and presence About Steven Steven C. Law is a writer whose work bridges faith and cultural engagement. His commitment to compassionate storytelling enriches The Story of Bob with insight and empathy. Steven Law holds degrees from Campbell University and Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School, where his focus was Christian ethics and social policy. As an ordained pastor, he served rural and urban churches, before studying creative writing with C. Michael Curtis. Chief among his accomplishments are 45 bliss-filled years with Dr. William "Donald” Stroud, with whom he created Découvert Fine Art, an art gallery specializing in European Master drawings. He is the founder and president of the Law Stroud Foundation - www.lawstroudfoundation.org. He lives in Rockport, MA. Connect With Steven Website Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Let's have an uncomfortable conversation.Why are so many gay men obsessed with straight men?Seriously.From childhood crushes to gym bros, coworkers, and social media creators who make a living selling the fantasy, the straight man allure has become a huge part of gay culture. But where does it come from? Why do so many people find themselves chasing men who were never available in the first place?In this episode, I'm talking about attraction, masculinity, validation, fantasy, and why I absolutely cannot stand the straight man content business model that's all over social media right now.Some of y'all might agree with me.Some of y'all definitely won't.Either way, let's banter.

Dr. Alan L. Hart, a trailblazing physician, researcher, and writer, whose courage and innovation helped shape both public health and LGBTQ+ history.In this episode, we'll be navigating Hart's incredible journey. We'll learn how Hart managed authenticity, career aspirations, and public scrutiny during a period when transgender lives weren't recognized and were frequently misunderstood.Join us as we examine the life, legacy, and lasting impact of a man whose contributions to both medical history and transgender history deserve to be remembered.Subscribe to the podcast on Patreon for bonus episodes, exclusive discussions, and upcoming virtual community events.----------------------------------------------------------@translessonplan@mariiiwrld@amarispeaksPatreon: ⁠https://patreon.com/translessonplan?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink⁠Subscribe to our newsletter:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/a914d2eca1cf/trans-lesson-plan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠----------------------------------------------------------References:Alan Hart (1890-1962). (n.d.). https://web.archive.org/web/20201118022054/https://www.oregonencyclopedia.org/articles/hart_alan_1890_1962_/#.X7SFB3bP1qYAlan L. Hart | Legacy Project Chicago. (n.d.). Legacy Project Chicago. https://legacyprojectchicago.org/person/alan-l-hartAlberta Lucille Hart/Alan L. Hart: Timeline, 1890-2009 · Timeline: Alberta Lucille Hart/Alan L. Hart, 1890-2009 · OutHistory. (n.d.). OutHistory. https://outhistory.org/exhibits/show/hart/hart2Close, C. P. (2014). Manifesting Manhood: Dr. Alan Hart's Transformation and the Embodiment of Sex in Early Twentieth-Century Sexology. CSUN ScholarWorks (California State University, Northridge). https://doi.org/10.13140/2.1.1470.2887college.lclark.edu. (2020, April 17). From the Archives: Dr. Alan Hart. Lewis & Clark College. https://college.lclark.edu/live/news/43320-from-the-archives-dr-alan-hartDeLuca, L. (2024, February 20). Trailblazing transgender doctor saved countless lives. Scientific American. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/trailblazing-transgender-doctor-saved-countless-lives/Devereaux, E. (2010). DOCTOR ALAN HART. Australian Feminist Studies, 25(64), 175–187. https://doi.org/10.1080/08164641003762479Emmaw, & Emmaw. (2024, June 13). Alan L. Hart: Pioneer in medicine and transgender history - Connecticut History | a CTHumanities project. Connecticut History | a CTHumanities Project - Stories about the people, traditions, innovations, and events that make up Connecticut's rich history. https://connecticuthistory.org/alan-l-hart-pioneer-in-medicine-and-transgender-history/FTM contributions to Medicine, Psychology, Science and engineering. (n.d.). https://web.archive.org/web/20120104072013/http://www.computerconsultingservices.net/mensworld/images/FTMDoctors.htmKatz, J. (1976). Gay American History: Lesbians and Gay Men in the U.S.A. : A Documentary. New York : Crowell.Reich, A., & Colbert, K. A. (2025). Alan L. Hart: an innovative pioneer in radiology and transgender rights. Cureus, 17(7), e87485. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.87485

Gay men know what it cost to come out. Bisexual people paid that same price and then got rejected by the community that was supposed to finally understand. Katherine Wela Bogen is a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology, scholar-activist with 600K followers, and author of the debut novel Queering Him. She and Rick get into the real conversation gay and bisexual men keep not having: where the experiences genuinely overlap, where they do not, and why assuming you already understand bisexuality because you know gay identity causes real damage. This one asks gay men over 40 to look at a blind spot most of them did not know they had. Key Takeaways: Where gay and bisexual experience genuinely meet and where they part waysWhy bisexual people have worse health outcomes than gay or lesbian individualsHow double discrimination operates differently than what gay men experienceWhat it actually costs to get rejected by the community that should get it mostWhat Queering Him is and why Katie wrote it About Katherine In her own words, Katherine Wela Bogen is “first, a storyteller; second, a scholar-activist; and third, a joyful little freak.” Bisexual and Jewish, she grew up in rural New England. A doctoral candidate in clinical psychology, studying the intersections of bisexual identity, sexual trauma, sexual functioning, and kink, she has published more than forty peer-reviewed papers and is the host of the political podcast SuperHumanizer. Bogen's 600k+ social media followers will recognize her as @k.w.bogen from her public-facing scholar activism. Queering Him, the first in the Avra and Kieran trilogy, is Bogen's debut novel. Connect With Katherine Website Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

For many gay men, our relationship with our dad is one of the most defining- and least talked about. In this episode, we explore the nuances of our relationships with our fathers through three core questions: How did your dad react when you came out? How do you express your gayness around him today? Does being gay impact the level of intimacy you have with your dad? From there, we go deeper into family dynamics, cultural expectations, and the different expressions of love and acceptance between fathers and their gay sons. We get into physical affection between fathers and sons, how much access we give them into our lives, and the boundaries we set as adults. We also explore how these early relationships can shape the kinds of men we're attracted to… and the patterns we carry into dating and relationships. This is a grounded, honest conversation about the often complex and layered relationship between fathers and sons.  Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Going Deeper: The Daddy Issue(00:01:47) - Did Gay Men Need Daddies?(00:03:20) - How Did My Dad React To My Coming Out?(00:07:49) - How Did My Dad React To My Coming Out?(00:10:18) - Reno On Not Bringing Up Gay Issues With His Father(00:14:24) - When My Gay Friend Comes Out(00:14:43) - How Did My Dad React To Coming Out?(00:18:53) - Coming Out To My Dad(00:20:52) - How Do You Describe Your Gayness To Your Dad?(00:27:38) - How Do I Feel Representing My Gayness To My Dad?(00:31:14) - How My Parents Accept My Gay Love Life(00:33:37) - Do You Hold Back Your Gayness When You're Around Your Dad(00:37:56) - Adam Levine on Father-Son Conferences(00:42:40) - Does Being Gay Impact How You Experience Intimate Touch With Your Dad(00:45:32) - Does Being Gay Impact How I Experience Intimate With My Dad?(00:47:52) - Michael Jackson on His Dad's Love(00:51:09) - We Love You, Dads

In 1998, eight months into Tony Blair's government, seven gay and bisexual working-class men from Bolton were convicted at Crown Court of buggery and gross indecency for having consensual sex together in a private home. No victim. No complaint. Some went to prison. All were placed on the sex offenders register. The laws used against them dated back to 1895, and in one case to 1533. Greater Manchester Police, the same force that prosecuted Alan Turing, pursued this case with a fervour no other police force in the country was matching at the time. Almost nobody knows this happened. Hugh Sheehan is the writer and audio producer behind Criminally Queer: The Bolton 7, the five-part BBC Sounds documentary series that spent years in the making and is referenced in Russell T Davies' Channel 4 drama Tip Toe, starring Alan Cumming as a gay bar owner in Manchester's Gay Village. Davies made Tip Toe because, in his words, the fight is back on. He's right. And the Bolton Seven are a significant part of why. In this episode of Outcast World, Graeme and Hugh cover the full story: the centuries-old laws that remained quietly on the books after partial decriminalisation in 1967, the two-man rule that made consensual group sex a criminal act regardless of what straight people were doing, the class dimension that meant working-class men from Bolton had no legal defences that a wealthier man in a privately owned home might have had, and the Chief Constable whose fundamentalist homophobia had shaped Greater Manchester Police for over a decade before the Bolton Seven were ever arrested. Criminally Queer: The Bolton 7 is available on BBC Sounds, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.

Why Have So Many Gay Men Struggled to Save for Retirement?We hear this from gay men all the time, usually those in their 50s or pushing their 60s:“I want to retire now, but I have absolutely nothing saved.”And when we ask what happened, the answer usually isn't laziness. It isn't that they didn't care. It often comes down to three quiet beliefs many gay men inherited from culture, trauma, fantasy, and avoidance.In this episode of Queer Money, we're talking about the three retirement plans that sabotage gay men and keep too many of us from saving, investing, and building the future we actually want.These are some of the biggest gay retirement mistakes we see:“I'll die young and beautiful.”“I'll marry a sugar daddy.”“I'll figure it out later.”For many gay men, especially those who came of age during the HIV/AIDS crisis, the idea of growing old, happy, healthy, loved, financially stable, and free wasn't something we were encouraged to imagine. Some of us didn't believe we'd live long enough. Some of us hoped someone else would save us. And some of us assumed we'd eventually get serious about money later.But later showed up, and now she wants receipts.This episode is not about shame. Shame is not a retirement plan either. This is about naming the myths that may have helped us survive emotionally, but are now sabotaging our older gay selves financially.Takeaways from this episode:Why many gay men struggle to picture themselves as older, secure, and financially freeHow the “I'll die young” myth became one of the most damaging gay retirement mistakesWhy waiting for a partner, husband, or sugar daddy to fund your retirement is not a planHow “I'll figure it out later” quietly sabotages retirement savings and investingWhy time in the market matters more than waiting until you “have more money”How old survival beliefs can turn into financial avoidanceWhy gay retirement planning is really about creating options, dignity, freedom, and joyHow asset acquisition and cash-flow building can help gay men retire betterIf this hits a little close to home and you're ready to finally have the retirement conversation, schedule a Retirement Readiness Review with us at the link in the show notes.We'll help you look at where you are, where you want to go, and what steps you can take to retire early, retire abroad, or simply retire better.Chapters:00:00 - Intro01:41 - Starting convo02:42 - Myth 105:52 - Myth 207:56 - Myth 311:41 - Self Reflection13:04 - Reframing 15:37 - The Fix16:33 - OutroMentioned in this episode:Portugal is calling. Will you answer?Don't just dream of moving to Portugal, make it happen with the investments in your IRA. Investing in Portugal gets you residency, the ability to work in Portugal and returns that just may outpace the U.S. like the Optimize Portugal Golden Opportunities fund did in 2025. Get Your Portugal Golden Visa Here!What if your portfolio came with a visa and passport?That's exactly what the Optimize Portugal Golden Opportunities Fund can do, bringing together diversification, tax efficiency, and a path to EU residency and a passport. Click the link below to explore your ticket to Europe.Get Your Portugal Golden Visa Here!

Listen to Gabe Salazar, the Artistic Director of the Gay Men's Chorus of South Florida, as he sharesthe inspiration for the latest concert which honors the families and community impacted by the Pulse shooting.

Jake and Kendrick came on Dance Dad to talk about Heated Rivalry. They ended up talking about something much harder: what gay men are taught to hide from themselves and each other.   John Corella, host of Dance Dad and co-creator of Dance Moms, sits down with Jake and Kendrick of The JK But Gay Show for a Pride Month conversation about body image, masculinity, friendship, intimacy, and the stories gay men carry into adulthood. The episode starts with a debate about Heated Rivalry, but it quickly becomes more personal than anyone expected.   John came in skeptical of the show. Jake and Kendrick came in as fans. What they work out together touches on gay body image issues, whether therapy changes the way you consume media, and whether a show can be pure entertainment and still carry a real responsibility to the people watching it. Nobody wraps it up neatly, and that is what makes it worth listening to.   The conversation gets personal fast. Jake talks about growing up where crying was not acceptable and what that cost him. Kendrick shares a coming out story that started during confession at the Vatican. John reflects honestly on why he kept falling for emotionally unavailable men. LGBTQ masculinity is not treated as a talking point here. It comes up the way it actually lives, inside specific memories and patterns that took years to name.   Underneath all of it is the thing Jake and Kendrick built together. Real gay male friendship is rarer than it should be, and they started their show because they knew that. Gay men and emotional maturity, platonic loyalty, and what it looks like to grow alongside another person are not side topics here. They are the whole foundation.   This is one of those episodes that stays with you.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Welcome to Dance Dad with John Corella 02:10 Meet Jake and Kendrick of the JK But Gay Show 08:31 Does Heated Rivalry Give Gay Men Body Image Issues 15:55 Hiding Your Identity in Sports and the Closet 41:17 Does Heated Rivalry Reinforce or Challenge Masculinity 48:12 Why Gay Men Are Drawn to Emotionally Unavailable Partners 52:51 The Difference Between Sex and Intimacy for Gay Men 59:46 A Gay Therapist Explains Why Heated Rivalry Feels So Good 1:17:06 Kendrick's Coming Out Story at the Vatican 1:21:04 Favorite Selena Quintanilla Songs 1:24:10 The Boldest Thing Each of Them Has Ever Done   Connect with Jake and Kendrick: Follow Jake and Kendrick on Instagram    Connect with John Corella: Follow Dance Dad with John Corella on Instagram Follow John on Instagram Join Dance Dad with John Corella on Patreon Visit John Corella's website Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Connect with Chris Tompkins:  ARoadTripToLove.com  Instagram  @ARoadTripToLove Find Travis: travisstock.com Instagram: @travers03 Support the show at patreon.com/thenewmasculine.

You lived through it. You lost people. And somewhere along the way you decided HIV was somebody else's problem now. It is not. Andrew Spieldenner and Alex Garner from MPact Global Action join Rick for a conversation that does not let the queer community off the hook. MPact works across 60 countries supporting LGBTQ-led organizations fighting HIV stigma, funding cuts, and the political forces making all of it worse. This episode covers where the stigma still lives, why gay men over 50 are among the fastest growing groups of new diagnoses, and why staying sexual, visible, and engaged is still an act of resistance. Key Takeaways: Why HIV stigma has not gone away, it has just gotten quieter and more insidiousHow structural racism and poverty drive HIV transmission more than individual behaviorWhy gay men over 50 are seeing rising new diagnosis rates and what that meansThe dangerous gap between available prevention tools and who actually gets access to them About Andrew Andrew R. Spieldenner, Ph.D. is Executive Director of MPact Global Action, an international gay rights organization in the HIV response, and Professor in the Department of Communication at California State University-San Marcos. Openly living with HIV, Dr. Spieldenner's writing is at the intersection of health and culture, particularly looking at HIV and the LGBTQ community. Dr. Spieldenner's edited books include Intercultural Health Communication, Post-AIDS Discourse in Health Communication, and the award-winning A Pill for Promiscuity. About Alex Alex Garner is a writer, artist, and community advocate dedicated to advancing queer visibility and health equity. He currently serves as Senior Director of Strategic Initiatives & Communications at MPact Global Action and previously led sexual health innovation and global campaigns as Senior Health Innovation Strategist at Hornet. With over 25 years in community organizing and two decades as a writer, Alex uses storytelling, art, and advocacy to humanize queer experiences and destigmatize conversations around sex, HIV, and identity. Born and raised in Southern California, Alex is a proud Chicano, gay/queer, and male-presenting person who embraces fluidity and authenticity. Living openly with HIV for 30 years, he shares his personal journey including his time as a sex worker and performer to challenge stigma and inspire others. Connect With Andrew and Alex Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Michael Pezzullo, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, gay men's therapist, relationship coach, speaker, and creator of Therapy for Gay Men. His work focuses on helping gay men understand the deeper emotional and relational patterns shaping their dating lives, sexuality, attraction, confidence, self-worth, trauma, addiction, intimacy, and relationships.In this conversation, Michael Pezzullo and Dr. Joe Kort explore why gay men often repeat the same dating and relationship patterns, why emotionally unavailable men can feel so compelling, and how early experiences, insecurity, shame, and the desire to belong can influence who men pursue and what they tolerate in relationships. Michael discusses how many gay men may feel stuck not because they lack insight, but because deeper emotional patterns continue to shape their choices beneath the surface.They also discuss gay identity, labels, and the difference between calling oneself gay, queer, or something else entirely. Michael and Dr. Kort talk about why language can feel empowering for some people and painful for others, especially when certain words were once used as slurs. They also explore generational differences, individual identity, and why it is important to let people define themselves in the language that feels most accurate to them.The conversation also looks at gay dating, body image, self-worth, and the pressure some men feel to fit into certain gay spaces or beauty standards. Michael shares his perspective on dating in places like West Hollywood, the myth that more options always make dating easier, and how comparison, insecurity, and the search for belonging can shape gay men's experiences in community, sex, and relationships.Michael and Dr. Kort also discuss open relationships, monogamy, porn, sexual confidence, erectile dysfunction medication, gay shame, and the importance of honest communication between partners. They explore why open relationships are not automatically better or worse than monogamy, why both require negotiation and emotional honesty, and why gay men need more space to talk openly about what works, what does not, and what actually feels safe and meaningful.Listen to this Smart Sex, Smart Love episode as Dr. Joe Kort talks with Michael Pezzullo about gay dating patterns, emotionally unavailable men, gay shame, open relationships, self-worth, sexuality, labels, body image, and what it takes for gay men to build stronger intimacy, confidence, and emotional safety.Support the show

A lot of gay men take pride in being independent, self-sufficient and in control. But is there a shadow side? When the time comes to let someone in, ask for support, or even rely on others—it feels uncomfortable, exposing, even threatening. In this episode, we explore the spectrum between dependence, co-dependence, independence, hyper-independence, and interdependence—and why so many gay men get stuck at the far end of doing life alone. We talk about:  What hyper-independence actually is (and why it's so common) The fear of losing yourself, your freedom, or your identity Why intimacy feels harder than being alone How this shows up in dating, relationships, and asking for support What it looks like to move toward interdependence (secure attachment)  This isn't about becoming dependent. It's about learning how to find a happy middle ground where you can let someone in without losing yourself or pulling further away.  Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deeper: How to Let People In(00:01:14) - What is Dependency and Independence?(00:03:34) - Guys Who Are Hyper Independent or Codependent(00:04:54) - Cocodependent and Secure Attachment: How Do You Know(00:08:04) - How to Grow Up With Someone (Gay Men)(00:10:49) - Insecure Attachment and The Fear That(00:13:38) - What Are Some Boundaries That You Have For Yourself?(00:15:23) - What's the Hardest Part of Learning To Trust Again?(00:17:06) - How Anxious Attachers Get Out Of Conflict(00:18:45) - How To Start Moving Toward Interdependence(00:20:21) - Can An Avoidant Attachment Style Overcorrect Into Becoming Cod(00:24:59) - How to Cope With Anxious Partner(00:27:54) - The Importance of Living With Your Partner(00:30:44) - How To Overcome The Fear Of Disappointment During Relationships(00:34:35) - Gay Men Talk About Being Independent

Dr. Rob and Tami answer participant questions about boundaries, chronic betrayal, and recovery timelines. They address the pregnant partner, the betrayed spouse with an STD, and the mother of teens who wants to keep her children from following down the path of addiction and betrayal.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:30] Can ketamine EMDR help my betrayed wife?  [7:10] I'm pregnant. Should I stop checking in on his recovery?  [14:35] Boundaries are set to keep you safe.  [16:58] Why should he stop acting out when it has increased the intensity of our sex life?  [24:09] Can an addict like me actually come out of this on the other side?  [34:10] Am I really the victim?  [36:52] How can I build trust after chronic betrayal?  [40:26] He acted out in my one deal-breaker way. Now what?  [47:30] How do couples recovery from sexual betrayal and compromised health?  [50:48] How can I talk to my boys so they don't go down the same path as their father?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "He should be showing you with his actions when his recovery is solid."  "He's going to do what he's going to do whether you ask or you don't."  "You have to do what you need to do to take care of you regardless of what he does."  "Addicts are always either moving forward in recovery or sliding back."   

The most romantic gay dating story I've heard all year involves a popped tire, a mechanic, and a 70-year-old man on his way to a first date.This week on Sex Advice for Seniors, I sat down with Anthony Canapi, CEO of Best Man Matchmaking, the only US matchmaker working exclusively with gay men. He's also a psychotherapist, which matters more than you'd think when the people coming to him are 60, 70, or even older.Follow Anthony here:WebsiteInstagramIf you're struggling with unreliable erections, check out my new program:https://www.stayfirmprogram.comReady to Go Deeper?Upgrade to unlock more confidence, clarity, and pleasure in your intimate life.As a paid subscriber, you'll get:✨ Full access to my sexy stories

There's something unique about friendships between gay and straight men. They often feel easy, natural, and unexpectedly intimate. In this episode, we explore the unique reasons why gay and straight men are drawn towards each other. From male bonding and emotional intimacy to validation, and the freedom to drop the “rules” of being a man, these friendships often offer something both sides aren't getting elsewhere. We unpack: Why gay men are drawn to straight men… and what they represent Why straight men feel safe, open, and even curious around gay men How masculinity is shifting in 2026… and where these friendships fit What each side gives the other and how we balance each other out  This isn't about hookups or labels. It's about what men are craving, and what that reveals about modern masculinity. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gaming Going Deeper(00:00:59) - Gay Men On Straight Men's Friendship(00:04:43) - Why Do Gay Men Are Attracted To Straight Men?(00:06:55) - Gay Hockey Players Play With Straight Guys(00:08:41) - Why Are You Attracted To Straight Male Friends?(00:13:32) - Straight Men On The Gay Men's Brotherhood(00:17:46) - Gay Men's Brotherhood Connection Circles(00:18:28) - Why Are Straight Men Drawn To Gay Men?(00:22:43) - Damon on Why Gay Men Are Drawn to Him(00:23:50) - Straight Men Are Desperate For Sex(00:26:45) - Broke Male Podcast: Permission To Be You(00:31:41) - "It's Okay to Hug Your Gay Father"(00:33:11) - Gay Men Going Deep(00:33:48) - Gay Men Want More Sexual Closeness(00:39:15) - Straight Men Talk About Gay Bars(00:41:46) - Set Free Your Gay Men!(00:43:12) - Going Deep: Gay Men's Brotherhood

In Part 1 of this series, we explored why insight alone isn't enough to create real change in gay men's lives — even for those who are highly self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and deeply reflective. So what actually does work? In Part 2, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, moves beyond theory and into real-world application. This episode focuses on the practical side of personal growth: how to translate insight into concrete, repeatable behaviors that lead to meaningful change. Instead of trying to "fix everything," Ken introduces a more realistic and effective approach — replacing old patterns with small, intentional actions that build over time. This episode explores: Why change requires replacement, not just awareness How to interrupt emotional and behavioral loops in real time The role of structure, delay, and intentional choice in breaking compulsive patterns Why "partial wins" matter more than perfection How to reduce isolation through small, manageable social actions The difference between motivation and movement How self-respect is built through behavior, not just mindset Ken also walks through specific, real-life examples of how to replace common patterns, including: compulsive app use → meaningful connection urgency and impulsivity → structure and delay emotional numbing → purposeful action self-criticism → self-respect through follow-through isolation → low-pressure social engagement If you've ever felt like you know what's going on in your life — but still struggle to change it — this episode offers a clear and grounded path forward. Because at a certain point, growth isn't about understanding more. It's about living differently.

Dr. Rob and Tami answer participant questions about how to reintegrate sex, self-pleasure for partners, the pain of a sexless relationship and the role of "hopium". They offer perspective on demanding repair, seeking connection and the power of taking care of yourself no matter what your partner is or isn't doing.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] What can I do to reclaim my sexuality?  [11:02] Should I insist on my partner moving out or do an in-house separation?  [16:42] When sex addiction isn't the only problem.  [19:32] How can I get my intimate needs met?  [29:05] Questions you really don't want the answers to. [34:02] How can I build shame resiliency?  [39:56] Where do we start with sexual reconnection?  [42:51] Moving beyond objectification.  [48:03] I feel he broke it, and he needs to fix it.  [54:41] The power of community and connection.  [58:20] Is masturbation sexual betrayal?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "Your courage and willingness to talk about these issues will get you halfway there."  "Do not threaten something that you're not willing to follow through on."  "You have zero control over him. The only thing you can take care of is you."   

Many gay men already understand themselves surprisingly well. They've read the books, listened to the podcasts, explored their childhood patterns, and can explain their shame, anxiety, trauma, or relationship struggles in detail. So why do so many still feel stuck? In Part 1 of this two-part series, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores one of the biggest limitations of insight-based personal growth: understanding yourself does not automatically change your life. Drawing from more than 34 years of work with gay men, Ken explains why insight alone often turns into rumination instead of transformation — and why lasting change requires behavioral shifts, emotional regulation, structure, repetition, and real-world action. This episode explores: Why books like The Velvet Rage and The Body Keeps the Score are helpful — but incomplete on their own The repeating emotional-behavioral loops many gay men experience Why shame and trauma frameworks can unintentionally keep people stuck The difference between awareness and behavioral change How gay men can begin replacing compulsive or self-defeating patterns with healthier alternatives Why "partial wins" matter more than perfection How therapy and coaching can help translate insight into real-life change Ken also offers practical examples of replacement behaviors for: compulsive app use emotional numbing self-criticism isolation urgency and impulsivity all-or-nothing thinking If you've ever thought: "I understand why I do this… but I still keep doing it," this episode is for you. Part 2 will continue the conversation by exploring additional behavioral replacements and strategies for handling the everyday stressors many gay men face.

We've all dealt with them. And maybe we've probably been one too… In this episode, we unpack what's really going on beneath hate. Not just online trolls or obvious critics, but the subtle ways judgment, resentment, and animosity show up in everyday life. We explore: Why people hate in the first place (and why it's rarely about you) The difference between healthy disagreement and actual hate How hate often masks insecurity, unmet expectations, or avoidance What it actually costs you to be a hater And how to deal with haters without shrinking, proving, or losing yourself This isn't about pretending to be positive or “above it.” It's about understanding psychology so you don't get pulled into it, or unconsciously become part of it. ️ Connection Circle: Your Coming Out Process If this episode resonates, join Matt for a live Connection Circle. This is an opportunity to share your story, be witnessed without judgment, and begin releasing the parts of you that learned it wasn't safe to be fully authentic. You don't have to carry it alone anymore. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gaiman Going Deeper: How To Deal With Haters(00:01:34) - Michael Jackson on Why People Hate Him(00:04:55) - How to Stop Criticizing Others(00:05:35) - Haters Need to Be Seen In Their Pain(00:09:00) - How to Disagree With a Hater(00:14:00) - "Disengagement Is a Powerful Tool"(00:15:51) - Michael on The Impact Of Hate On His Life(00:20:45) - The Influences of Social Media(00:21:12) - How to Handle Haters(00:21:43) - How To Stop Defensiveness(00:25:55) - Let the Haters Be Wrong(00:29:58) - Dropping Love For The Brothers(00:31:05) - A Connection Circle

Gay men are burning out in silence and calling it fine. Shaun Williams, therapist, late bloomer, and co-founder of Gay Fathers Worldwide, has spent years inside that silence and knows exactly what it is costing us. After coming out in 2019 following decades of living someone else's story, Shaun built Bent Couch Counselling and a global community of over 1,300 gay fathers because the existing resources were not built for men like him. He and Rick get brutally honest about the mental load of coming out later in life, why gay men perform connection instead of feeling it, and what it actually takes to stop running and start healing. Key Takeaways: Why gay men over 40 carry a mental load that never gets named or treatedHow coming out later in life creates a specific kind of burnout nobody warns you aboutWhy 61% of gay couples report feeling lonely even inside their relationshipsWhat performing connection instead of feeling it is doing to gay men's mental healthHow to create emotional safety at home when you never had a roadmap for it About Shaun Shaun Williams is the heart behind Bent Couch Counselling, a compassionate and inclusive mental health service launched in October 2022. Built on empathy and lived experience, Bent Couch offers a safe space for men and LGBTQ+ individuals to navigate life's challenges with dignity and support. Shaun came out in 2019 after decades of living a different story. That personal journey—full of courage, grief, and growth— became the foundation for the work he does today. His mission is simple but powerful: to walk alongside others as they rediscover resilience, self-acceptance, and connection. At Bent Couch, Shaun supports clients facing burnout, anxiety, shame, life transitions, identity exploration, and relationship complexities. Every session is grounded in non-judgement, cultural sensitivity, and a deep respect for diverse gender identities and life experiences. Beyond the counselling room, Shaun facilitates Community Couch Conversations – heartfelt group discussions for gay and queer men to connect, reflect, and be seen. He's also the co-founder of Gay Fathers Worldwide, a thriving online support network for men who've had children in heterosexual relationships and are now living openly as gay. Since 2020, this community has grown to over 1,300 members across the globe – a testament to Shaun's belief in the healing power of peer connection. Shaun lives in Melbourne with his partner and their beautifully blended family of five children. As a cis-gay man who came out later in life, he brings a rare depth of insight into the tensions between two worlds— the life he once lived and the authentic life he now embraces. His work is guided by warmth, understanding, and the unwavering belief that everyone deserves to feel at home in themselves. Connect With Shaun Website Gay Fathers Worldwide Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Between 50-75% of my friends died of AIDS. I was trying to figure out what had happened to our community.Today we meet Gabriel Rotello and we're talking about the queer book that saved his life: Gay New York by George Chauncey.Gabriel Rotello is an Emmy-nominated and GLAAD Award-winning writer, director, producer, journalist and musician. He published his nonfiction book in 1997: Sexual Ecology: AIDS and the Destiny of Gay Men. In 1989 he launched OutWeek Magazine as its editor-in-chief. In 1993, he became the first openly gay op-ed columnist for a major American newspaper, New York Newsday. He was also a columnist for The Advocate. For almost three decades, Gabriel has written, directed and produced dozens of television documentaries for HBO, Netflix, National Geographic, and Comedy Central.Gay New York brilliantly shatters the myth that before the 1960s gay life existed in the closet, where all gay men were isolated, invisible, and ashamed. Based on years of research in diaries, letters, newspaper stories, and police reports, George Chauncey describes the saloons, speakeasies, and streets where queer men gathered; the intimate parties and immense drag balls where they celebrated; the highly visible residential enclaves they built in Greenwich Village, Harlem, and Times Square; and the complex prewar sexual culture they inhabited, which did not divide men into heterosexuals and homosexuals.George Chauncey is the DeWitt Clinton Professor of History at Columbia University and previously taught at Yale and the University of Chicago.Connect with Gabrielwebsite: gabrielrotello.comOur BookshopVisit our Bookshop for new releases, current bestsellers, banned books, critically acclaimed LGBTQ books, or peruse the books featured on our podcasts: bookshop.org/shop/thisqueerbookBuy your copy of Gay New York here: https://bookshop.org/a/82376/9781541699212Buy your copy of The CBGB Conspiracy: https://bookshop.org/a/82376/9798888249093Become an Associate Producer!Become an Associate Producer of our podcast through a $20/month sponsorship on Patreon! A professionally recognized credit, you can gain access to Associate Producer meetings to help guide our podcast into the future! Get started today: patreon.com/thisqueerbookCreditsHost/Founder: John ParkerExecutive Producer: Jim PoundsAssociate Producers: Archie Arnold, K Jason Bryan and David Rephan, Bob Bush, Natalie Cruz, Troy Ford, Jonathan Fried, Joe Perazzo, Bill Shay, Sean Smith, and Karsten VagnerPatreon Subscribers: Stephen D., Stephen Flamm, Ida Göteburg, Thomas Michna, Sofia Nerman, and Gary Nygaard.Creative and Accounting support provided by: Gordy EricksonQuatrefoil LibraryQuatrefoil has created a curated lending library made up of the books featured on our podcast! If you can't buy these books, then borrow them! Link: https://libbyapp.com/library/quatrefoil/curated-1404336/page-1Support the show

Watch this episode ad-free by joining the ITBR Patreon! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/ivorytowerboilerroom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠-----Re-Release time! Today on ITBR we're going down memory lane with friend of the show Christian Garcia from "That Ol' Gay Classic Cinema" podcast. This episode initially released back in 2023, and with queer media blowing up this year like Heated Rivalry, it only felt right to share our discussion on Queer as Folk! Sit back, relax and grab some popcorn... this one's a fun one!Do gay men think about sex every nine seconds? We're introduced to what will become one of the rockiest, heartwarming, and transformative relationships in TV history, Brian and Justin. What do we think about that moment when they first lock eyes? Then, we dissect the difference in age between Brian and Justin, and the beautiful friendship trio that is Michael, Emmett, and Ted. Make sure you rewatch all of the episodes with us on Showtime: ⁠https://www.sho.com/queer-as-folk/sea...Follow Christian on Instagram, ⁠@bookaholic_221⁠ and his podcast, ⁠@thatolgayclassiccinema⁠. Listen to his podcast here: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...-----Follow ITBR on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@ivorytowerboilerroom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and TikTok ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@dr.andrewrimby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can watch video episodes of the podcast: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@ivorytowerboilerroom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Thanks to our following sponsors! To subscribe to The Gay and Lesbian Review visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠glreview.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Click Subscribe and enter promo code ITBRChoice to get a free issue with a subscription purchase. Follow them on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@theglreview⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and TikTok ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@g_and_lr⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Head to Broadview Press, an independent academic publisher, for all your humanities related books. Use code ivorytower for 20% off your⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ broadviewpress.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠order. Follow them on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@broadviewpress⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Thanks to the ITBR team! Dr. Andrew Rimby (Host and Director), Mary DiPipi (Chief Contributor), and Sean Penta (Intern)

Dr. Marc Brackett, PhD, is founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor in the Child Study Center at Yale University. We discuss the science of emotion regulation and practical tools to increase your emotional intelligence. Dr. Brackett clarifies exactly how to do that both in the context of relationships, but also things that you can do on your own to become more emotionally intelligent to later serve you in the context of relationships, work, school, etc. We also discuss how your childhood experiences influence your relationship with emotions, with particular emphasis on how boys and men are socialized around emotional processing and expression. Read the show notes at hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman Lingo: https://hellolingo.com/huberman LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman Rorra: https://rorra.com/huberman Timestamps (00:00:00) Marc Brackett (00:02:55) Emotion Regulation (00:05:53) Emotion Mindset, Anxiety; Good or Bad Emotions? (00:11:25) Sponsors: Joovv & Lingo (00:13:54) Permission for Happiness; Gender, Emotion Suppression (00:22:13) Young Men, Vulnerability, Incapable; Gay Men (00:31:00) Boys & Men, Crying; Emotion Socialization (00:37:34) Sponsor: AG1 (00:38:58) Physical Interaction; Rough/Tumble Play, Teaching Emotion Regulation (00:46:47) Emotion Calibration, Tools: Leaders & Being a Role Model; Meta-Moment (00:56:15) Meditation & Stress Tolerance, Tool: Label Emotions; Childhood (01:03:12) Sponsor: LMNT (01:04:32) Understand Your Assumptions, Tool: Intentional Co-Regulation (01:12:09) Vocabulary & Rethinking Emotion, Tool: Reframing (01:15:49) Emotional Intelligence Training, Self-Evaluation (01:22:15) Living with Discomfort & Emotional Intelligence (01:27:01) Marc's Work & Criticism; Emotion "Leakage" & Switching Mindset (01:34:19) Sponsor: Rorra (01:35:32) Excitement, Positive Emotion; Modern Concerns, AI & Disconnection (01:45:11) Major Societal Challenges & Everyday Progress (01:54:38) Physical/Emotional Identity & Envision Best Self, Tool: Meta-Moment (02:05:33) Emotional Intelligence (02:12:46) Curiosity & Compassion; Reflection, Identity (02:19:32) Point of Connection Game (02:25:02) Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow, Reviews & Feedback, Sponsors, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Disclaimer & Disclosures Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why does it feel so hard to build real friendships as a gay man in adulthood? You meet people. You have good conversations. There's even mutual interest. But somehow, nothing turns into something consistent or meaningful. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explains why this isn't about a lack of effort—it's about a lack of structure. He breaks down: why modern gay social life often prevents friendships from forming the subtle patterns that stop connections from developing and what actually creates real, lasting friendships over time This is a practical, grounded look at how connection really works—and what to do differently if you want your social life to feel more stable, consistent, and real. Work with Ken: https://gaytherapyla.com/individual-therapy-and-counseling-gay-men/ https://gaytherapyla.com/services-offered/gay-men-online-counseling-coaching/

What if the things you turn to for fun, pleasure, and productivity are also the ways you avoid your life? In this episode, we explore escapism through a grounded, real-world lens. Not necessarily as a clinical issue, but as a pattern most of us fall into without realizing it. From constant busyness and social plans to sex, substances, and scrolling, it's never been easier to stay stimulated- and disconnected at the same time. We break down: Why escapism is so common (and why it makes sense) The difference between enjoyment and avoidance How to recognize when it shifts from choice to compulsion The hidden costs of always staying “on” Why a full life can still feel empty Join us for an eye-opening episode about understanding the spectrum of escapism… and what it might be helping you avoid. ️ Connection Circle: Slowing Down Without Falling Behind If this episode resonates, join Michael for a live Connection Circle where we explore how to slow down, be more intentional, and stay connected to your life… without feeling like you're falling behind. www.gaymensbrotherhood.com/events Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Man Going Deep: Escapism(00:03:34) - Have You Been In A Pattern of Avoidance?(00:07:30) - Have You Ever Been In A Compulsive Loop With Something?(00:10:49) - How To Cope After A Breakup(00:13:26) - Talking About Relationships(00:15:14) - What is the anxiety of working?(00:16:24) - Burnout and Escapism(00:20:05) - Gay Man's Brotherhood: Slowing Down Without Falling Behind(00:22:13) - How to Stop Distract Yourself With Your Phone(00:26:19) - What is the cost of constant numbing, avoidance of self?(00:28:35) - How to Slow Down Your Life(00:29:26) - A Gay Man's Four Fs(00:30:47) - Gay Men's Brotherhood

Aging hits different when you're a gay man over 40. The body shifts. Friends disappear. Mortality stops being abstract. In this raw conversation, Ken Breniman, author, therapist, and leader of naked yoga for LGBTQ+ men, dives into death awareness, grief, body shame, loneliness, and why avoiding mortality keeps you negotiating your life. We talk orangutans in Borneo, naked yoga as radical body acceptance, and the courage it takes to face the truth about aging. If you're over 40 and still pretending you have unlimited time, this episode will wake you up, to stop negotiating your gay life. Live like you mean it. Key takeaways: Death Awareness Is Not Morbid. It's Clarifying.When you stop pretending you're immortal, you stop tolerating what drains you. Mortality sharpens decision-making.Body Shame Doesn't Expire at 40.Naked yoga isn't about exhibitionism. It's exposure to truth. Aging bodies deserve presence, not critique.Loneliness Doesn't Fix Itself.Community takes intention. Waiting to “feel ready” keeps you isolated longer than you admit. About Kenneth Ken Breniman is a queer healer, writer, and elder-in-training who helps people dream more and dread less in uncertain times. He is a licensed clinical social worker, certified yoga therapist, and thanatology-informed grief educator whose work explores aging, intimacy, grief capacity, and personal death awareness, especially within LGBTQ+ communities. Ken is the author of a three body solution, an award-winning speculative sci-fi novel that uses humor, absurdity, and imagination to explore gerotranscendence, life force, and what it means to grow older without hardening or checking out. Drawing from grief work, primatology, contemplative practice, and storytelling, Ken blends depth with playfulness to make difficult conversations feel human, accessible, and even joyful. He lives with his long-time partner and believes the future belongs to those willing to stay curious, stay tender, and evolve together. Connect With Ken Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

HEY GUYS!  Please VOTE the Naughty Audio for Men Podcast for Best Podcast in the International Content Creator Awards BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT 12 AM EST!   VOTE HERE:  http://iccawardsshow.com/vote/ Patreon Perks1st Tier Patrons: exclusive early access to audio interview!2nd Tier Patrons: exclusive access to video interview!Join my Patreon: www.patreon.com/naughtyaudioformenFollow me on: Twitter/X: @audioformenBluesky: @audioformen.bsky.socialComment on my Reddit page: https://www.reddit.com/r/NaughtyAudio4Men Listener Feedback: Email: naughtyaudioformen@gmail.com

At what point did life stop being fun? As kids, play came naturally. We were curious, spontaneous, and fully present. But for many adults, especially gay men who grew up navigating shame and self-consciousness, play slowly disappears. Responsibility takes over. Image matters more. We try to be cool. And somewhere along the way, joy gets replaced with pressure, performance, and productivity. In this episode, we explore why so many adults lose their playful side and why reconnecting with it can be one of the most powerful ways to reclaim joy, authenticity, and connection. Some of the things we cover in this conversation are: How shame and self-consciousness disconnect us from play The difference between authentic play and performative fun How western culture slowly erodes our inner child Why playfulness is connected to vulnerability and authenticity The role of play in intimacy, connection, and great sex How play can protect against burnout and bring us back to life Why joy and appreciation are skills worth intentionally developing If life has started to feel heavy, serious, or overly effortful, this episode is a reminder that play is not childish. It may be one of the most important ingredients in a meaningful life. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop seri... Chapters (00:00:05) - Let's Play(00:02:05) - Why Do Gay Men Stop Playing?(00:04:19) - What Did You Play For As A Child?(00:07:15) - When Did You Start Playing Solo?(00:13:20) - What Would You Get Out Of Play?(00:18:10) - How I Used To Play Both Girls And Boys(00:21:05) - Gay Men Talk About Childhood Play(00:23:32) - Have Your Relationships to Play Changed As You Get Older?(00:29:03) - The Importance of Play(00:31:01) - The Role of Play in Me(00:36:39) - What Does Playing Bring Up For You?(00:37:00) - What Are The Ways That You Play?(00:40:02) - The Importance of Travel(00:42:20) - Matt the Filmmaker on Play(00:47:33) - Michael's Secret To Fun And Play(00:50:39) - Play Will Save Your Life!

Chelsey Brooke Cole and Tami discuss narcissistic personality structure and how to identify if someone is a narcissist. They consider myths of narcissism, the narcissistic cycle and how hoovering shows up, and the look and feel of various narcissistic types. They then answer participant questions about narcissist behavior, options for healing, and a realistic look at a future in a partnership with a narcissist.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:20] Hoovering and other narcissistic buzzwords.  [3:58] Chelsey's personal experience with narcissism.  [5:01] Debunking common myths about narcissism.  [9:20] Typical behavoirs of a narcissist.  [13:20] The defense mechanisms for the insecure, fragile ego of a narcissist.  [19:53] Characteristics of the six types of narcissists.  [25:05] Sex addiction and the narcissist.  [31:57] The narcissistic cycle of abuse, including hoovering.  [37:49] What triggers the Hoover phase?  [48:37] What happens if you decide to stay?  [49:45] Are there drawbacks to seeking a narcissist diagnosis?  [51:27] How can you gray rock a narcissist so they don't get escalation tactics?  [53:02] Is it a bad idea to point out narcissistic tendencies in your partner?  [54:09] Is narcissism treatable?  [56:17] Does my partner's behavior indicate narcissism?  [58:10] Do narcissists know what they are doing?  [1:00:21] What is the best approach to address the abuse of narcissistic traits used to self-protect and control?  [1:02:03] Can a narcissist develop empathy for their partner, and what does treatment involve?  [1:04:31] Is narcissism a mental health condition?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "Narcissism is not a diagnosis, it's a personality style and trait."  "All narcissists, even the ones who will self-report having high self esteem, are subconsciously insecure pathologically."  "Narcissistic abuse is like being in the middle of a tornado but not knowing it's a tornado."  "Feeling desperate is not the same as being accountable."  "Real accountability ends with you, Hoover statements always end with them." 

Dr. Rob and Tami answer questions about co-regulating, couples healing, betraying partners who continue to minimize and resources to help betrayed partners move forward. They also address maladaptive behaviors and coping mechanisms, the power of curiosity in diffusing defensiveness, and the importance of honoring the grief and anger that comes with betrayal.    TAKEAWAYS: [:50] How can I tell if my partner is becoming regulated again?  [6:27] Physical signs that your partner is getting upset.  [9:20] What is defined as a crisis, and when do you talk about it?  [18:20] What is the practical difference between addiction and problematic porn?  [21:45] Why is your spouse not your priority?  [27:43] The power of curiosity in diffusing defensiveness.  [31:30] Three follow-up questions about recovery resources.  [33:10] Is there any hope for a future that is not dominated by betrayal?  [38:10] Honoring the grief and anger that comes with betrayal.  [45:46] How can I get past the egregious images of his betrayal?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "It is the addict's responsibility to set aside their own crisis until the partner feels heard and supported."  "The more you grow in your recovery, the more capacity you will have."  "How are you supporting yourself?" And if he's not listening to you, do you have people in your life who are?"  "Your relationship may never improve, but you don't have to feel damaged."  "Even if your partner chooses not to do the work, that does not have to define who you are."   

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores why many gay men experience a shift in ambition after 40—and why it's not burnout, but a natural developmental transition. He explains what's changing psychologically and how to navigate this stage with clarity and purpose.

Dr. Marc Breedlove, PhD, is a professor of neuroscience at Michigan State University and an expert on how hormones shape brain development and sexual orientation. We discuss how prenatal testosterone impacts whether someone is romantically attracted to men or women later in life, and what correlates of sexual orientation — such as finger-length ratios — tell us about the role of hormones in brain and psychological development. We also discuss why the number of older brothers a male has biases sexual orientation. Throughout, we explain how nature and nurture interact to shape male-female differences, behavior, and romantic partner choice. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman David: https://davidprotein.com/huberman Rorra: https://rorra.com/huberman Function: https://functionhealth.com/huberman Timestamps (00:00:00) Marc Breedlove (00:03:24) Hormones & Sexual Orientation (00:07:37) Prenatal Testosterone, Finger Ratio, Men & Women Differences (00:14:08) Sponsors: David & Rorra (00:16:46) Finger Ratios, Prenatal Testosterone, Gay & Straight Men/Women (00:23:57) Mice & Sex Differences, Androgens (00:26:54) Brain Differences & Sexual Orientation (00:33:52) Group vs Individual Differences, Height Analogy; Bisexuality (00:36:57) Brain Development, Hormones & Behavior; Brain Plasticity (00:42:52) Sponsor: AG1 (00:44:16) Sexual Behavior, Libido (00:51:37) Gay Rams, Brain Differences (00:58:00) Aversion Pathway, Men vs Women, Same-Sex Partner (01:06:58) Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (CAH), Intersex Phenotypes (01:13:55) Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS) (01:18:14) Sponsor: Function (01:19:25) Gay Men & Older Brothers, Maternal Immunization Hypothesis (01:32:55) CAH Carriers, Advantage, Stress Tolerance (01:35:41) Birds & Sexual Differentiation, Gynandromorphs (01:41:32) Anabolic Steroids, Hypersexuality; Adult Brain Plasticity (01:45:31) Age & Testosterone Decline; Sexual Orientation & Activities (01:53:14) Marc's Academic Journey, Ozarks, Luck (02:02:35) Exploration; Kids & Sex Differences (02:08:47) Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow, Reviews & Feedback, Sponsors, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Disclaimer & Disclosures Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shia LaBeouf talks about the gay men incident that led to his arrest

Gay men over 40 have been watching themselves disappear from screens, from conversations, and from their own community's narrative for decades. Rich Burns got fed up and built the antidote. The Humanitas Prize-winning creator and star of "The Disappointments" turned personal professional failure, romantic wreckage, and the specific ache of gay male invisibility into a series with over 4 million views and a global audience that stretches far beyond the LGBTQ+ community. Rich and Rick go deep on why older gay men are still being erased, what it actually costs to tell the truth on screen, and why humor is not a coping mechanism but a weapon. Key Takeaways: Why gay men over 40 are still invisible in media and what one man did about itHow Rich used personal humiliation and career setbacks as creative rocket fuelThe financial reality most gay men live with that Hollywood keeps airbrushing outWhat 4 million views taught Rich about the universal power of gay male experienceWhy humor is not softening the blow but telling the whole truth About Rich Rich Burns is the writer, star and creator of the Humanitas Prize-winning digital series The Disappointments. He also created and serves as the head writer for the Netflix original series Mermaid Magic which debuted August 2024 at #1 on Netflix Kids, with a second season coming. He developed and wrote on the Netflix reboot of the animated series Winx Club - The Magic Is Back. He served as head writer on two other recent Netflix chart toppers: DreamWorks' Spirit Riding Free and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. Additionally, Rich was a staff writer at Walt Disney Feature Animation, scripting successful sequels to Brother Bear (Annie Award-nominated for Best Feature - Screenplay), The Fox and The Hound and The Little Mermaid, among others. His screenplay The Dunes of Overveen, based on a true story about a gay artist in Amsterdam who led a resistance raid against the Nazis during WWII, won an Outfest Award. Connect With Rich & Watch The Disappointments Website Instgram - The Disappointments Instagram - Rich Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Good Vibe Tribe - Boston Gay Men's Chorus full 292 Wed, 18 Mar 2026 13:21:39 +0000 D31ZXskj03Tu1zgdvzPeKJ69FGwDztyc society & culture Karson & Kennedy society & culture Good Vibe Tribe - Boston Gay Men's Chorus Karson & Kennedy are honest and open about the most intimate details of their personal lives. The show is fast paced and will have you laughing until it hurts one minute and then wiping tears away from your eyes the next. Some of K&K’s most popular features are Can’t Beat Kennedy, What Did Barrett Say, and The Dirty on the 30! 2024 © 2021 Audacy, Inc. Society & Culture False https://player.amperwavepodcasting.com?feed-link=ht

What is looksmaxxing? Looksmaxxing is the process of maximizing one's physical attractiveness through various methods, ranging from improved grooming and skincare to extreme, sometimes surgical, interventions. Originating in online "incel" forums, the term gained popularity on TikTok in the 2020s, with practitioners, often young men, focusing on optimizing facial structure and aesthetics. Do gay men looksmaxx? Would you take a pill that would make you hotter and younger? Are drugs like Ozempic and botox and fillers a form of looksmaxxing? The hosts discuss the first time they realized that looks mattered in gay dating... Are apps at the forefront of how gay men feel about themselves? The hosts discuss how their tastes may or may not have changed as they've aged.. The hosts play a fun lighting round of things they would change if they could... Hot Topic: 5 Sexual Wellness Trends that are good for the gay community today Hot Topic: How Grindr can impact gay travel in a good way... Hot Topic: Oscar Fashions plus did Connor Storrie leave with Troye Sivan post Oscar party? Hot Topic: Mamdani appoints Trans woman to lead NYC LGBTQIA+ office Hot Topic: Lil Nas X has his day in court Hot Topic: Weho Pride announces major music lineup plus the PussyCat Dolls Reunion minus 1... Hot Topic: Boy George on his new Vegas residency plus his comments to Chappell Roan... Visit: Studio.com/stevev for the website version and visit the app version: Studio.com/stevev/connect Follow Stevie on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Jeremy on IG: @jrosslopez Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Why do many successful gay men feel unsettled in midlife? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, long-term specialist in therapy for gay men, explains how midlife restlessness is often a normal developmental transition — bringing new questions about meaning, relationships, sexuality, and purpose — and how it can become a powerful opportunity for growth and reinvention.

The more options people have, the harder it becomes to choose. The hosts share their personal stories... What makes someone stay emotionally? What actually creates lasting connection? We discuss how gay men are redefining what relationships look like often without children and with monogamy and open relationships... We talk alignment in a relationship and even when you find a partner you need to continually align... What makes relationship material?? The hosts discuss Hot Topic: Gay men share the moment they realized their partner was 'the one' Hot Topic: "Heated Rivalry" cast have a message to 'toxic fandom'... Hot Topic: New Study talks about the size of penises and which states have the largest Hot Topic: George Michael new concert film and album coming out soon! Advice: Saw a colleague at an orgy and now it's potentially awkward... Advice: My BF is giving hints that he wants to explore BDSM but not sure I want that... Thirst Trap: Who took the hottest shot of the week?! Visit: Steve V's new app - Studio.com/stevev for the website version and visit the app version: Studio.com/stevev/connect Follow Stevie on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Episode 1908 - brought to you by our incredible sponsors: BETTER HELP: Your emotional well-being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/HARDFACTOR.  QUINCE: Don't keep settling that clothes that don't last. Go to Quince.com/hardfactor for free shipping and 365-day returns.  BRUNT WORKWEAR: Get $10 Off boots and clothing at BRUNT with code HARDFACTOR at www.bruntworkwear.com LUCY -  100% pure nicotine. Always tobacco-free. LUCY's the only pouch that gives you long-lasting flavor, whenever you need it. Get 20% off your first order when you buy online with code (HARDFACTOR).   00:00:00 Timestamps 00:04:59 Kristi Noem grilled about killing dogs and sex on planes during ICE behavior hearing 00:21:30 Update on man with “World's Smallest Penis” 00:25:40 Dubai beggar turns out to be a rich guy who likes stealing money from people with kind hearts 00:28:50 Shia LaBeouf arrested again.  This time, he blames “Big Scary Gay Men”  And much more Thank you for listening and supporting the pod! Go to patreon.com/HardFactor to join our community, get access to Discord chat, bonus pods, and much more - but most importantly: HAGFD!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices