Podcasts about gay men

In 2019, Rhyheim Shabazz was just another horny LA slut having orgies on the regular. But when he started filming those orgies, the expressions on his bottoms’ faces were unlike anything he’d seen in porn. Rhyheim channelled that realization into a wildly successful career as an actor and director in the gay porn industry, and launched his own hit studio VOYR in 2023. In this episode, Rhyheim talks to Gabe and Chris about his stunning career trajectory, Brazilian boys, and yes, Chris’s ass. He also offers tips and tricks for aspiring content creators looking to follow in his footsteps, and gags - along with our hosts - at one of the most shocking cruising confessions we’ve ever heard on our show. Follow Sniffies' Cruising Confessions: cruisingconfessions.com Try Sniffies: sniffies.com Follow Sniffies on Social: Instagram: instagram.com/sniffiesapp X: x.com/sniffiesapp TikTik: tiktok.com/@sniffiesapp Follow the hosts: Gabe Gonzalez: instagram.com/gaybonez Chris Patterson-Rosso: instagram.com/cprgivesyoulife Guests featured in this episode: instagram.com/r.h.y.h.e.i.m/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Skip Speer and Tami talk about doomscrolling and hopescrolling, the features of each, and how to tailor your algorithm to lift you up at every stage of recovery. They then answer participant questions about sex addiction, including narcissism, gaslighting, and therapist obligations as mandatory reporters.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:49] Doomscrolling versus hopescrolling – how to engage in what serves you.  [7:01] Using your phone to numb out? Try this instead. [8:50] What is the difference between a CSAT and a regular therapist?  [13:25] Do we really need a couples therapist?  [20:24] The importance of accountability in therapy. [26:57] Programs for sex addiction with narcissistic traits. [37:25] The danger of denial in recovery.  [41:03] Dealing with a sex offender changes the recovery game.  [44:49] Key differences between narcissism and sociopathic behaviors.  [46:45] How can I financially separate myself from my betraying partner?  [50:05] My partner is looking at underage porn. Should I report him?  [54:33] Is the term 'gaslighting' used too loosely?  [56:30] What are the obligations of a mandatory reporter?  [58:30] What is the likelihood that underage porn addicts will ever ask for help if they know they will be reported?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "It feels better to comfort than confront, but at the end of the day, recovering addicts need accountability."  "In real recovery, we're looking for anything that is problematic or helping us escape in unhealthy ways."  "You know what your partner is not willing to do. So what are you willing to do?"   

Dr. Skip Speer and Tami answer participant questions about missing a partner who has betrayed you, strategies for opening up in honest and helpful ways, timelines for dedicating time to recovery resources, and appropriate dialogue to have with family and friends during recovery.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:04] What is my role in holding the pain of my betraying partner?  [6:50] Seeking Integrity resources that are available to navigate unhealthy relationships.  [7:58] What treatment options are available to a narcissistic sex addict betrayer?  [13:24] How and when should we approach discussing our situation with family and friends?  [17:10] How can I open up as the betrayer and address the tough topics with my partner?  [23:37] Do I need to discuss being a 12-Step sponsor with my spouse?  [27:20] Is it normal to miss my betraying spouse?  [30:51] How can we navigate my partner's addictions with our children?  [36:15] Which support groups offer accountability instead of enablement.  [43:29] Can betrayed partners have traits of love addiction?  [44:31] How can I avoid getting pulled in to my sex addict partner's lies?  [50:02] How do I know when it's time to adjust the amount of time we spend on recovery resources?  [54:14] How can I possibly initiate sex after the years of my partner's betrayal?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "If a person is willing to engage in therapy and get in and do the work, there is hope."  "The more you focus on healing for you, the faster you will heal."  "Things may be bad, but they will get so much worse if you keep holding onto it."  "No addict changes unless the pain of changing is less than the pain of staying the same."   

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gay men's specialist therapist, discusses the new movie, "Wicked: For Good" and its implications for gay men, in themes about silencing political voices, seeing things for what they are, and how to stay resilient during Trump 2.0 America.  

Club Heasa - Building a Gay Men's Oasis in Costa Rica with Colin BrownleeIn this episode of the 'Where Do Gays Retire' podcast, host Mark Goldstein interviews Colin Brownlee, who has established Club Heasa, a men-only vacation and short-term rental community in Costa Rica. Colin shares his journey from a marketing career in Vancouver to building a successful hotel business in Costa Rica, and eventually founding Club Heasa to create a safe and comfortable space for mature gay men. They discuss the specifics of Club Heasa, including its amenities, location, pricing, and the compelling reasons for choosing to make it a gay men-only community. Colin also offers insights into the Costa Rican climate, healthcare, local attractions, and the significance of creating physical spaces for the LGBTQ+ community. The episode sheds light on the benefits of retiring in Costa Rica and offers practical advice for potential residents.00:00 Introduction to the Podcast00:50 Meet Colin Brownlee: From Vancouver to Costa Rica01:56 The Birth of Club Heasa02:25 Welcome Colin to the Podcast02:39 Exploring Club Heasa: Concept and Vision03:03 The Story Behind the Name 'Club Heasa'09:40 Creating a Gay Men Only Community09:53 Challenges and Decisions in Building Club Heasa15:05 The Importance of Physical Community18:05 Demographics and Age Considerations20:12 Short-Term Vacation Rentals at Club Heasa25:33 Climate and Location Benefits31:32 Pricing and Amenities at Club Heasa33:17 Common Areas and Social Spaces37:11 Local Attractions and Excursions39:24 Transportation and Accessibility40:00 Car Rentals and Cost Savings40:11 Rules and Regulations at the Hotel42:49 Laundry and Housekeeping Services43:31 Guest Demographics and Preferences46:24 LGBTQ Scene and Social Life50:33 Healthcare and Medical Facilities53:28 Travel Insurance and Citizenship55:10 Security and Online Shopping57:03 Natural Risks and Earthquakes59:35 Visa Limits and Food Scene01:03:45 Final Thoughts and FarewellTakeaways: This episode highlights the importance of finding a safe and affordable retirement place for the LGBTQ community, as discussed by Mark Goldstein. Colin Brownlee's journey from marketing in Canada to creating Club Heasa in Costa Rica is both inspiring and insightful. Listeners will gain insight into the cost of staying at Club Heasa and the experiences that await them there. Colin emphasizes the significance of building a community for gay men in Costa Rica, especially as traditional gay neighborhoods fade away. The podcast dives into the unique amenities and environment of Club Heasa, including its clothing-optional policy and planned excursions. Listeners can learn about the healthcare accessibility in Costa Rica, making it a viable option for retirees. Links referenced in this episode:wheredogaysretire.comclubheasa.comlgbtqseniors.combooking.comexpedia.comCompanies mentioned in this episode: Club Heasa Hotel Banana Azul Ajijic Wilton Manors Fort Lauderdale Palm Springs Steve Cross Rick's Bar Mentioned in this episode:Introducing LGBTQSeniors.com – A Free Community for Connection & PrideMark

Club Heasa - Building a Gay Men's Oasis in Costa Rica with Colin BrownleeIn this episode of the 'Where Do Gays Retire' podcast, host Mark Goldstein interviews Colin Brownlee, who has established Club Heasa, a men-only vacation and short-term rental community in Costa Rica. Colin shares his journey from a marketing career in Vancouver to building a successful hotel business in Costa Rica, and eventually founding Club Heasa to create a safe and comfortable space for mature gay men. They discuss the specifics of Club Heasa, including its amenities, location, pricing, and the compelling reasons for choosing to make it a gay men-only community. Colin also offers insights into the Costa Rican climate, healthcare, local attractions, and the significance of creating physical spaces for the LGBTQ+ community. The episode sheds light on the benefits of retiring in Costa Rica and offers practical advice for potential residents.00:00 Introduction to the Podcast00:50 Meet Colin Brownlee: From Vancouver to Costa Rica01:56 The Birth of Club Heasa02:25 Welcome Colin to the Podcast02:39 Exploring Club Heasa: Concept and Vision03:03 The Story Behind the Name 'Club Heasa'09:40 Creating a Gay Men Only Community09:53 Challenges and Decisions in Building Club Heasa15:05 The Importance of Physical Community18:05 Demographics and Age Considerations20:12 Short-Term Vacation Rentals at Club Heasa25:33 Climate and Location Benefits31:32 Pricing and Amenities at Club Heasa33:17 Common Areas and Social Spaces37:11 Local Attractions and Excursions39:24 Transportation and Accessibility40:00 Car Rentals and Cost Savings40:11 Rules and Regulations at the Hotel42:49 Laundry and Housekeeping Services43:31 Guest Demographics and Preferences46:24 LGBTQ Scene and Social Life50:33 Healthcare and Medical Facilities53:28 Travel Insurance and Citizenship55:10 Security and Online Shopping57:03 Natural Risks and Earthquakes59:35 Visa Limits and Food Scene01:03:45 Final Thoughts and FarewellTakeaways: This episode highlights the importance of finding a safe and affordable retirement place for the LGBTQ community, as discussed by Mark Goldstein. Colin Brownlee's journey from marketing in Canada to creating Club Heasa in Costa Rica is both inspiring and insightful. Listeners will gain insight into the cost of staying at Club Heasa and the experiences that await them there. Colin emphasizes the significance of building a community for gay men in Costa Rica, especially as traditional gay neighborhoods fade away. The podcast dives into the unique amenities and environment of Club Heasa, including its clothing-optional policy and planned excursions. Listeners can learn about the healthcare accessibility in Costa Rica, making it a viable option for retirees. Links referenced in this episode:wheredogaysretire.comclubheasa.comlgbtqseniors.combooking.comexpedia.comCompanies mentioned in this episode: Club Heasa Hotel Banana Azul Ajijic Wilton Manors Fort Lauderdale Palm Springs Steve Cross Rick's Bar Mentioned in this episode:Introducing LGBTQSeniors.com – A Free Community for Connection & PrideMark

Dr. Jessica Lamar, Licensed Mental Health Therapist, explores unseen wounds and understanding disenfranchised grief and betrayal trauma. What is disenfranchised grief, and why does it matter? Dr. Lamar overs betrayal trauma, emotional and psychological impact, healing, and support strategies. She and Tami then answer participant questions about grief and boundaries, conversations and resources that are available to help navigate grief.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Intro. [2:58] Defining ambiguous loss – am I even in grief?  [4:40] Disenfranchised grief is a loss that is not openly acknowledged, socially validated or publicly mourned.  [6:02] Examples of disenfranchised grief as it relates to betrayal trauma. [11:30] Ambiguous losses that are associated with betrayal trauma.  [13:56] When betrayal occurs, the resulting grief is often disenfranchised.  [15:47] Statements that are commonly heard in disenfranchised grief.  [18:36] The psychological and emotional impact of disenfranchised grief.  [24:12] Strategies for empowering ourselves after loss.  [27:34] Common ways we invalidate grief after betrayal. [29:45] How can I validate myself in my grief?  [37:04] Interventions to help navigate disenfranchised grief.  [41:35] What resources are available to better understand and process grief.  [44:20] What dialog can we use to better communicate with extended family members who will not allow space for grief?  [47:35] How can I navigate anticipatory grief when I don't know what is actually going to happen?  [48:55] How can I ever start dating again after betrayal?  [50:49] What if the person who feels unsafe to me is a therapist?  [52:28] What is appropriate to say to our adult children?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "When a loss isn't socially recognized, the grieving process can be isolating and difficult to navigate."  "The lack of validation can make the pain even more isolating."  "When we are alone with our betrayal trauma and our grief, we can start to invalidate our own feelings."  "Navigating disenfranchised grief and betrayal trauma requires real, intentional effort to heal."  "No one has the right to tell people what is or isn't a loss."   

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, therapist Debbie McRae discusses therapeutic separation as an effective intervention for couples struggling with the impact of betrayal and addiction. She highlights the structure of therapeutic separation as a compassionate approach to help both individuals regain safety, clarity and hope in the relationship. She and Tami then answer participant questions about therapeutic separation, when it's the right next move, and what to do when it didn't resolve your relationship issues.    TAKEAWAYS: [:55] The possibilities with therapeutic or healing separation.  [2:07] Common scenarios in couples dealing with betrayal.  [3:00] Is therapeutic separation right for my relationship?  [6:04] The purpose and plan of therapeutic separation.  [10:34] Realistic separation timelines and action plans.  [17:47] Addressing common therapeutic separation fears.  [24:57] Managing the message to others.  [29:45] What to do when you're stuck. [32:11] The importance of regular therapist check ins.  [36:32] How does therapeutic separation end?  [40:16] What is the difference between sobriety and recovery?  [47:54] My partner is gaslighting me. Would in-home separation help?  [52:19] How do I know if my partner is really doing the work?  [57:08] Therapeutic separation didn't work. How do I move forward?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "Therapeutic separation aims at creating stability, safety, and gives each individual time to gain insights."  "As you define clear goals and understand the purpose of therapeutic separation, it becomes a roadmap for healing."  "In therapeutic separation, both partners are fully committed to doing their recovery work."  "All of this is scary, but the scariest thing is staying stuck."  

What we want you to gain from this episode is the importance of non-sexualized, safe, and brave spaces for gay men to heal and grow together. By the end of this episode, you will be able to identify what a nest is, how you could benefit from one, and where to find or create one if you are interested in nesting. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What is “nesting” and why is it important for gay men? What moments in our lives require the need for nesting? How do we know when we're “nested” — or when we're not? What makes a nest truly safe? How do you tend and protect a nest once it's formed? What could gay culture look like if nesting became normal? What's one small way you can begin nesting today? Today's Guest: Nigel Pedlingham Gay Men's Retreat Instagram LinkedIn Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel Facebook Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Many gay men fear psychiatric meds. Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains how the right medication can restore—not change—who you are, separating facts from stigma and myths about treatment and mental health.

We all say we want love… but are we actually open to receiving it? In this episode, we're going deeper into what it really means to open your heart. From the subtle subconscious programming that keeps love at arm's length to the sneaky ways we self-sabotage, we're unpacking the hidden barriers that make intimacy feel unsafe (even when we crave it most). You'll learn: Why receiving love can feel harder than giving it How old conditioning teaches us to block love without realizing it The difference between performing for love and allowing it in Practical ways to build safety, self-trust, and openness in all forms of love—romantic, platonic, and self If you find yourself pushing love away, deflecting compliments, or find yourself stuck in patterns that keep intimacy just out of reach—this one's for you. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Mid-life gay men still use apps like Grindr or Scruff; not just for sex, but for social connection, validation, and visibility.  Gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores desire, aging, open relationships, and how to use apps with intention instead of compulsion.

Some of us don't fall in love with people, we fall in love with an idea of them. The story, the potential, the fantasy of the perfect boyfriend who finally makes everything click. But that idealized version of love often keeps us chasing what looks right instead of what feels real. In this episode, Michael and therapist, Michael Pezzullo, explore how fantasy, perfectionism, and external validation shape the way we love- and why chasing the ideal often keeps us from the real thing. We'll unpack: What it looks like to fall in love with potential - and why we do it  How to tell the difference between healthy excitement and mental storytelling How seeking the “perfect” partner keeps us single or dissatisfied How to stop chasing the ideal and let love be more organic and human Whether letting go of the fantasy means “settling for less” If you've ever been in love with potential or the picture-perfect relationship, this conversation will help you come back to reality…where real connection actually happens. Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo Website Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Website Instagram Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Why does joy feel so hard to hold onto? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're revealing the joy killers: those sneaky ways we sabotage happiness even when life is going well. We explore: The difference between chasing pleasure and cultivating joy Foreboding joy (a.k.a. waiting for the other shoe to drop) and how it robs us of the present. How trauma and disappointment condition us to expect loss  The role of protector parts and self-sabotage in keeping joy at arm's length. What we're really trying to protect ourselves from when we don't let joy all the way in. By the end, you'll see how internalized shame, fear, and control kill our joy- and how practicing gratitude, presence, and vulnerability can help us reclaim it. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

What would your day, your week, your next year, or even your life look like if you spent it following your joy? What if joy became your North Star? Your guiding light? Your compass? What is in the way of you experiencing more joy in your life? What if you could find joy in how you dress, what you eat, how you exercise, where you live, what you do for work, who you spend time with, and how you navigate your day to day life? These, and more, are the questions we'll cover in this intuitive and inspired conversation around following your joy. True to form, you will be joining Reno on location at Sunset Beach, in beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia, where he followed his joy down to the beach where he fell in love with Vancouver, so that he could not just talk about following your joy, but embody it. Note: You may occasionally hear some fun background noise, which actually becomes part of the conversation, so you'll want to keep listening. Today's Host: Reno Johnston Instagram Facebook Schedule a Zoom Call Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Send us a textEver notice how a slight change in the smell of the air can trigger the first thoughts of fall? KC and Harley are back with an Enormous! fun-filled, bursting-at-the-seams episode that is full of stories and memories about fall in the Southwest.Totally Hot!KC recounts the pleasures of his annual pilgrimage to New Mexico for a year's supply of fresh-roasted chiles. He shares how like a time machine, the sound of the gas jets under the rotating chili roaster and the aroma of roasting chilis can bring back wonderful memories of his favorite fall ritual and carry him away.Wild RideHarley explains how a tiny parking-lot dent turned into a month-long repair that left him without the use of his beloved KIA. He was able to suffer through it with the use of a new BMW X7.  So he scheduled a five-day weekend to see good friends in Taos, and was reminded that a short road trip can do wonders to lower stress and reset the brain. We Love BaconThe guys finally got to meet the legendary Kathy Bacon and her amazing daughter, Bacon Bits while they were on a road trip to Denver. Since it was Bacon Bits birthday, Harley and KC decided to do something special by showing up in matching Speedos as they pranced through the sunny outdoor fountains in front of Union Station and Hotel. (JK) Over lunch they told stories and quickly became good friends.Pillow TalkThings have changed quite a bit since either of the guys had purchased a new mattress. After extensive research, Harley ordered a new bed online. Although he barely survived the delivery that should've come with a forklift, he loves his new bed. Guess which luxury upgrade changed everything? Send us a textLet's Do The Time Warp Again!KC, Mister, Harley and Sarge attend The 50th Anniversary of The Rocky Horror Picture Show complete with singalong, —costumes, movie and live shadow-cast, SWAG bags, and Barry Bostwick in person. The Soundtrack Of Our Life KC: Fleetwood Mac's Silver SpringHarley: ABBA's Thank You for the Music  Keep the conversation going... Send us a message from the EnormousPodcast website, Send us a text, follow Enormous!, Share This Episode with a friend, and leave us a quick review—what's your can't-miss autumn tradition?Send us a text: Click HereEnormous Website: www.EnormousPodcast.comDownload or Share MP3: Enormous Speedos MP3Apple Podcast Player: Click HereVoice mail: (303) 351-2880Email: EnormousPodcast@gmail.comInstagram:www.Instagram.com/

When Marion pops up on Zoom with her curls blown out to smooth newscaster perfection, it's a hot topic and one that offers a perfect lead-in to the first poem up for discussion, “Your Hair Wants Cutting” by this episode's featured poet, Michael Montlack. The three poems we're considering take inspiration from the Mad Hatter character in Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. We discuss, Slushies, how much, if any, contextual framing is needed to guide the reader when poems refer to a character who resides in our collective imagination. We also talk about local and regional idioms, and for Kathy, how difficult they are to unlearn (shout out to Pittsburgh!). Marion accidentally bestows a new nickname on Jason. Dagne has an opinion about how speech is rendered within a poem: italics or quotation marks. She's team italics, Slushies, which are you? While thinking about the line in these poems; Marion refers to Jason's excellent essay on the history and theory of the line from his book Nothingism: Poetry at the End of Print Culture. Another poem in the batch has Marion recalling Jason's poem “Wester.” As always, thanks for listening! At the table: Dagne Forrest, Samantha Neugebauer, Jason Schneiderman, Kathleen Volk Miller, Marion Wrenn, and Lisa Zerkle Michael Montlack's third poetry collection COSMIC IDIOT will be published by Saturnalia. He is the editor the Lambda Finalist essay anthology My Diva: 65 Gay Men on the Women Who Inspire Them (University of Wisconsin Press). His work has appeared in Poetry Daily, Prairie Schooner, Cincinnati Review, Lit, Epoch, Alaska Quarterly Review, Phoebe and other magazines. In 2022, his poem won the Saints & Sinners Poetry Contest for LGBTQIA+ poets. He lives in NYC and teaches poetry at NYU and CUNY City College. https://www.facebook.com/michael.montlack https://www.instagram.com/michaelmontlack (website) https://www.michaelmontlack.com/ “Your Hair Wants Cutting” my grandmother would say, sitting there at her window, monitoring the restless crows. Her robe nearly as ancient as she. Since when are you concerned with fashion? I once dared to ask. I was seventeen, restless as those crows. I knew she wasn't talking about my curls. Plumage, she used to call it when I was a boy. Sit down, little peacock—your hair wants cutting. Even then I knew it was a cutting remark. Laden. Throwing cold kettle water on my fire. I reminded myself that she was a widow. And was glad that at least I would never cause a woman to suffer such grief. I reminded her how I donned a hat most days. She stared me up and down, her eyes like the ocean's green cold. Clever. Your kind seems to have a clever answer for everything … I swallowed the indictment. Why not make yourself useful, she said, putting down her tea cup, eyeing the trash on her tray. I was glad to oblige, happy to depart before she could notice the low waist of my trousers, let alone the height of my heels. Muchier Picture me on a grand terrace, tipping my hat. Crossing a bridge over the river of defeat— it's definitely a state of ascent. Being owed rather than owing. A blatant triumph against the conventional. A la Lord Byron. A monocle without glass, worn for style. It's an advance for a memoir about a life you haven't yet lived. Bound to be lost on some but admired by all. Likely absent during the lessons on common subjects: Algebra, Classic Literature, Biology. More devoted to the mastery of the quaintest arts: Porcelain, Calligraphy, Tapestry Weaving, Drag. As ephemeral and ethereal as a bubble. It's not something you adopt. It's something that abducts you. Enviers call it utter madness, but the muchiest of the muchier won't even fathom the phrase. Inheritance There wasn't much to leave—my sister, also suspiciously unwed, took the cottage and the wagon. But our mother had insisted that the tea set should be mine. “It's dainty and a bit chipped. Like you,” she chortled on her deathbed. I failed to see the humor but took it just the same. Knowing my sister would likely surrender it to the church, where the nuns might put it to good use but never appreciate its finery, as that would be vanity. I much rather hear my motley chums slurp from it as they sit steeped in my ridiculous riddles. I never admitted how I crafted them at night, alone in bed, in the quiet twilight, the hour I imagined reading bedtime stories to the children I never had. An apprentice son would've been nice, to hand down millinery techniques. Instead I had the ghost of one, there in my workshop, where imaginary fights erupted over whose turn it was to sweep up the felt or sharpen the scissors. Of course, I appeared mad, a much better impression to leave than the riddle of my bachelorhood. Sometimes I wanted to smash the porcelain cups, chuck them at that bloody caterpillar stinking up the forest with his opium. Why not? There was no one to inherit my pittance. No one to be trusted with my legacy… until the appearance of this girl, at once strange yet so familiar. I quite liked her. The way she held her own with me. If ever I had a daughter, I would have wanted her to be as brave as she. Defending the poor Knave of Hearts, accused of stealing the Queen's tarts. There in that courtroom, I almost lost my head but finally found a beneficiary.

“Post-nut clarity” isn't just a meme — it reflects real neurobiological and psychological shifts that affect how gay men experience sex, emotion, and judgment. Gay men's specialist psychotherapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores this normal post-orgasmic process through the lens of CBT, psychodynamic theory, and the Six Principles of Sexual Health, showing how self-awareness can turn confusion or shame into sexual self-empowerment and integrity.

Joy isn't just fireworks and big milestones; it's in the ordinary, everyday moments we often overlook. Yet for many of us, joy feels slippery and hard to find. In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're diving into what joy really feels like, how it shifts as we evolve and age, and why it's less about chasing highs and more about cultivating presence. We'll explore: The difference between joy and pleasure (and why we confuse them) Joy-givers vs. joy-suckers (and how to spot yours) The role of play, laughter, and lightheartedness in a joyful life How to deepen your relationship with joy in your next chapter Why joy is a skill you can practice, not just a mood you stumble into If you're ready to move beyond quick fixes and start building a life that feels nourishing, playful, and deeply fulfilling, this conversation is for you. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In the second half of this episode, Patrick and Tommie do not lament the cancellation of gay sitcom Mid-Century Modern, Tommie reviews the 2022 Netflix series Titans: The Rise Of Hollywood, Patrick reviews Alien: Earth and the 1980 film Ordinary People, they rap about Bad Bunny at the Super Bowl, meet actress Tilly Norwood and discuss the effect of AI on the film industry, review the NY Times article about the financial troubles of Broadway musicals, and name the plays or musicals they'd like to direct.

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Dr. Eddie Capparucci addresses the struggle of many men to show empathy, especially those who have dealt with childhood trauma and emotional neglect. He warns of the dangers of labels and offers insights into the biological and neurological factors that affect empathy. Then he and Tami answer participant questions about empathy in relationships, with strangers, and in and out of the home.   TAKEAWAYS: [:30] The link between problematic sexual behaviors and a lack of empathy. [3:00] Empathy is learned in childhood. [7:18] When men don't know how to deal with emotions, they shut down. [8:46] The biological component of empathy. [12:23] Timing plays a critical role in the development of empathy. [15:07] Healing the brain and cultivating empathy. [24:07] Emotionally cold or emotionally dysregulated? [28:45] Why is my spouse empathetic with everyone except me? [33:09] Why do I seek stranger validation more than closeness with my partner? [35:35] My husband had plenty of empathy when courting me. What happened? [40:50] The neurological danger of viewing porn. [41:22] Lack of empathy or autism spectrum? [45:38] Where to find the feelings wheel. [46:48] Why is it easier to be empathetic with someone who's upset with someone else than someone who is upset with me? [49:41] Can these same principles apply to women? [52:00] How will we know when we are ready for couples work? [55:10] My husband feels judged when I ask him to be accountable.   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.   QUOTES ● “When men don't know how to deal with emotions, they shut down.” ● “Trauma and emotional neglect do not damage every child's empathy circuit in the same way.” ● “The brain can heal and empathy can be cultivated.” ● “Emotional regulation is recovery.”

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Dan Drake, Matthew Raabsmith, and Joanna Raabsmith present "Building True Intimacy: A Roadmap to Relational Restoration After Sexual Betrayal." Together they consider how couples can effectively and efficiently move from betrayal and discovery to healing and connection, based on their book Building True Intimacy. They then answer participant questions about recovery, disclosure, and lasting healing.   TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Introducing Dan Drake, Matthew Raabsmith and Joanna Raabsmith. [3:23] How do couples heal after betrayal and disclosure? [5:30] Five key components to restoring intimacy, starting with awareness, authenticity and assertiveness. [9:16] The power of a foundation of honesty and safety. [17:32] Regulation and relational safety must be prioritized by the betrayer. [20:30] Stepping into trust and commitment following betrayed. [27:13] The value of inviting trusted people into your healing journey. [31:10] The hallmarks of empathy and vulnerability. [35:10] Creating community with other betrayed couples. [36:28] Reintroducing intimacy after betrayal. [44:55] When does a couple start to feel like they are on the same team? [49:24] The V.A.S.E. framework. [51:30] How can the betrayed partner move toward trust after regression? [56:08] My partner wants to move along without rebuilding. How can we heal? [58:48] Can we successfully recover without disclosure or restoration?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.   QUOTES ● “Am I aware of the direction I'm heading based on the choices I'm making every day in my life?” ● “When I say my values are one thing and I live my life in a different way, I am not showing up authentically.” ● “If we don't have a foundation of honesty, we don't have anything to build on.” ● “The ability to be present will move us back into the partnership phase of the next level of healing.” ● “You have to have vulnerability if you're going to rebuild intimacy in a relationship.” ● “What kind of recovery do you want in your life whether or not your marriage makes it?”

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Dr. Rob and Tami answer listener questions about cheating, betrayal, sex and more. They address recovery, disclosure, and setting healthy boundaries throughout the recovery process, and offer a realistic timeline for partners to move from betrayal to intimacy and healing.   TAKEAWAYS: [:30] My wife is using my body for sex. Is this just a libido mismatch? [9:30] Setting boundaries after hearing sex threats. [12:09] My partner and I are doing everything right. When will the next chapter start? [18:15] A little about Dr. Rob's books and his editor Scott. [22:30] Is formal disclosure really necessary? [25:51] How do we navigate the balance between romantic and sexual connection with the need for space and individual healing? [28:18] Distinguishing between sexual entitlement and the need for validation. [34:20] How does ADHD impact betrayal and recovery? [37:08] My husband doesn't want to label himself as a sex addict. Now what? [45:37] How can I forgive and move on for my child while still navigating grief?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.   QUOTES ● “There is no difference between a sex addict and someone who uses sex to self-regulate.” ● “In recovery, you're learning to live life on a completely different plane than you did before.” ● “If you want to learn and keep moving forward, you will.” ● “You cannot make your partner do anything they don't want to do.” ● “Forgiveness is something I do for myself.”

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Scott Brassart discusses resilience and healthy coping mechanisms for both addicts and betrayed partners. He and Tami then answer participant questions about handling triggers, understanding big emotions, and addressing supercharged manifestations of shame.   TAKEAWAYS: [1:10] Resilience and healthy coping mechanisms for everyone. [3:16] 5 practices to build resilience, from happiness to obstacle immunity and staying present. [11:20] Tools that can help with building resilience. [15:30] The 3-second rule for sex addicts. [19:30] The key difference between happy people and the rest of us. [28:50] Handling triggers like kindergarteners handle fire drills. [35:00] Understanding the emotions beneath the anger. [44:01] Blaming others is the easiest form of denial. [48:32] Manifestations of shame. [54:00] Good things can happen if you're willing to do the work. [55:39] How can I address my supercharged emotions? [1:00:41] Stop problematic behavior, then address the underlying issues.   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.   QUOTES ● “Resilience is not a tool we are born with, it's a skill we can learn.” ● “Of all the tools I've given you, gratitude is the most powerful.” ● “Healthy coping skills and resiliency are inextricably linked.” ● “Practice using these tools when you're safe, use them when you're not.” ● “Big emotions rarely address the underlying emotion.”

#podcaster #banter #comingout #adulting #PodcastLife #SecondAdolescence #HealingJourneyEver feel like you're just now living the teenage years you never got to have?Yeah… same.In this episode, we talk about what it really means to grow up gay and why so many of us hit our “teen phase” in our 30s. From coming out late to dating without fear, to finding our style, our people, and our joy this one's funny, real, and a little too relatable.We'll dive into:08:46- Intro15:00- Why We Missed Our Teenage Years20:49- Living Teenage Years in Adulthood24:51 -Pressure of Catching Up27:49- Healing & Reclaiming JoyLet's talk about delayed adolescence, queer freedom, and why joy delayed is still joy. If you're into real talk about identity, growth, and gay culture this one's for you. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more funny + thoughtful takes on the messiest shows, docs, and trending topics.

You know the type — ambitious, perfectionistic, and always striving to do more and be more… yet secretly fuelled by pressure, anxiety, and fear. In this episode, Michael is joined by special guest Scott Stirrett as they share their own stories of hustling for achievement and how they've learned to stay ambitious without destroying themselves in the process. Together, they unpack how perfectionism, internalized shame, and the need for external validation can be ways we attempt to outrun our insecurities — and pivot toward ambition that's healthy, sustainable, and soul-driven. Topics covered in this episode: Why gay men are uniquely wired for overachievement How perfectionism shows up in covert and overt ways How adversity can build anti-fragility and real confidence The difference between healthy ambition vs shame-fuelled hustle Learning to slow down without feeling lazy, guilty, or like you're falling behind Rewiring your motivation so it feeds you instead of drains you By the end of this episode, you'll be inspired to pursue success in a way that keeps you driven and impactful — without burning yourself out — and to start measuring your worth from the inside out. Today's Guest: Scott Stirrett LinkedIn Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Instagram Men's Group Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Yo Aunteas are all back together, and Dawon is spilling all the tea on his trip to the South of France and Spain, including the story behind that photo that sent the Communitea into a frenzy! From hiking mountains in the wrong shoes to a master class in eating live oysters , he's sharing the details of his adventures outside the comfort zone. Then, the Aunteas dive into the headlines in an epic "Aunteas, Do You Give a Damn?". They're talking about the shocking suspension (and return) of Jimmy Kimmel , Tylenol (not) causing Autism, Kamala Harris's revealing new book "107 Days" , the cancellation of MTV's Catfish , Ghostface Killah's son bodying him on a new track , the return of Dreamgirls to Broadway, and the brand new trailer for "Wicked: For Good". Get them cups ready! SUBSCRIBE to Minoritea Report and hit the notification bell so you never miss an episode! ☕  Tea Stamps: 00:00 Intro 01:21 Dawon in Europe 11:36 Culinary Experiences & Wrong Shoes 21:31 Commitment Rings and Long-Distance Relationships 28:24 Evolving Wedding Traditions and Personal Commitments 33:42 Current Events and Social Commentary 38:35 Jimmy Kimmel 42:56 Realizations of Voting Consequences 45:28 Media Ownership and Communication Control 50:16 Kamala Harris's Book 107 Days 56:01 Catfish is Cancelled 01:00:44 Sweetface Killah! 01:06:14 Ciara & Bad Bunny? 01:07:55 The Return of Dreamgirls to Broadway 01:11:44 Excitement for Wicked: For Good 01:18:26 Seen and Heard 01:21:02 Benediction

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how Yom Kippur's themes of reflection, apology, forgiveness, and renewal resonate for gay men. A secular take on the Jewish Day of Atonement, this episode invites you to let go of shame, repair relationships, and embrace bold renewal.

In this final installment of our 4-part series on grief, we explore the powerful practice of Radical Acceptance—what it means, why it's so difficult, and how it becomes the turning point in your healing journey. Whether you're grieving the person you used to be, mourning a friendship that faded, or facing the slow heartbreak of watching your parents age, grief often leaves us wrestling with reality. Radical acceptance is what allows us to stop fighting what is, and start living again with peace, presence, and purpose. Topics we explore in this episode include: What radical acceptance really means (and why it's radical) How it differs from giving up, resignation, or bypassing Why acceptance is often the hardest part of grief The role of faith and inner trust when you're still hurting Personal stories of surrender, softness, and finding peace How to move forward when closure isn't coming This episode offers a hopeful, grounded perspective for anyone still sitting with loss, longing, or unanswered questions. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

As our parents get older, many of us are faced with a new kind of grief- the quiet, ongoing loss that comes not from death, but from watching the people who once raised us begin to slow down and need us in ways they never did before. In this deeply personal episode, we open up about the emotional complexity of witnessing our parents age. From role reversals and unresolved wounds, to meaningful moments and surprising lessons, we reflect on how our relationships with our parents evolve, and how it stirs up questions of our own mortality. We explore: The quiet grief of losing parts of who they were The guilt, tenderness, and sometimes resentment of becoming the caretaker How aging parents trigger our own fears about time, mortality, and purpose Ways to heal, connect, and make meaningful memories before it's too late This is an episode for anyone navigating that in-between space—where love, loss, and legacy all live at once. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

T Lo observe the 50th anniversary of "Grey Gardens" and dive into the history, the ethical considerations and the making of the film and explain why gay men in particular have always been obsessed with its main subject, Edie Beale. PLUS: Why were the VMAs so conservative this year? And reviews of "Star Trek: Strange New Worlds" and "aka Charlie Sheen."

Gay men often live for the fun of today but forget to plan for tomorrow. Enter Brian Thompson, queer financial advisor and founder of Brian Thompson Financial LLC. With a background as a tax attorney and host of the Mission Driven Business podcast, Brian helps LGBTQ+ and mission-driven entrepreneurs build profitable businesses rooted in purpose. I In this episode you'll discover Learn how to align money with meaning How to grow with confidence in your financial life When and how to flex your financial future even in uncertain times.  About Brian Brian Thompson is the Founder and Financial Planner of Brian Thompson Financial LLC, where he helps LGBTQ+ and mission-driven entrepreneurs build profitable businesses that reflect who they are and support the impact they want to make. As a financial advisor and business strategist, Brian works with service-based founders who are building more than just a business. They're building movements, communities, and legacies. Brian helps them bring clarity and structure to their business finances, so they can grow with confidence while staying rooted in purpose. Before launching his firm, Brian spent nearly a decade as a tax attorney. That experience, combined with his own entrepreneurial journey, informs his holistic approach to planning. He understands the challenges faced by underrepresented founders, especially those navigating traditional financial systems that don't reflect their identities or values. His work dismantles the myth that profit and purpose are mutually exclusive. He is the host of the Mission Driven Business podcast, where he features the stories and strategies of diverse entrepreneurs. He was also recently featured on the Making Good podcast, sharing insights on how to build a business that serves your values and your life. Through personalized financial planning, strategic advisory, and real-talk podcast conversations, Brian helps entrepreneurs lead businesses that work for their founders—energetically, ideologically, and economically. As a Black, queer financial advisor, Brian is especially passionate about creating space for diverse voices in financial and entrepreneurial conversations. Connect With Ricky Website Facebook Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you're going to do, but never do? Then it's time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

Not all grief is about death. Sometimes, the hardest losses are the people (or pets) who are still alive—but no longer in our lives. In this episode, we're talking about the heartbreak of losing relationships: romantic breakups, friendship fallouts, and the deep sadness that comes with saying goodbye to a beloved pet. We explore how grief shows up emotionally, mentally, and even physically—and the unique challenges of letting go of someone who once meant everything to you. Together, we share personal experiences of: The stages of grief Grieving people who are still alive Letting go of “what could've been” Healing after a breakup Losing chosen family or long-time friends Learning how to let go without lingering This conversation shines a light on the many ways we experience loss and how to move through the grief with compassion, courage, and clarity. Related Episodes: Grieving Your Past When It's Time to Say Goodbye Grappling with Grief: Addison Brasil Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, unpacks the political whiplash from Obama to Trump and its impact on gay men's mental health—exploring minority stress, cultural backlash, and strategies for resilience in a divided America.

Grief isn't just about death—it's also about the quiet losses we carry as we grow and evolve. In this episode, we're kicking off a 4-part series on grief by exploring what it means to grieve your past. Whether it's a version of yourself that felt more confident, more desirable, or more socially “relevant,” we often feel a deep emotional pull toward who we used to be. From aging and identity shifts to the grief of letting go of our dreams, we're diving into the invisible grief that comes with change. We discuss: What grieving your past looks like How grief can show up as you grow and evolve Letting go of your youth, body, or social capital as a gay man The bittersweet nostalgia of past chapters—even ones you chose to leave behind How to know when it's time to move on, and how to do it with self-compassion This conversation is about honoring who you were while embracing who you're becoming. Related Episode: Grappling with Grief: Addison Brasil Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Going to therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness. Our paid partner BetterHelp makes therapy simple, with 10% off your first month to help you get started: https://betterhelp.com/happyhealthyhomoFind Michael Pezzullo on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelpezzullolmftWhat does it really mean to be “sex positive”? And has the movement actually gone too far?

Meat pushes Kirby in the weight room. Together the trio, including Vuchie, hit chest hard. After finishing their assault of the weights, the guys relax in the steamroom.  Kirby is excited for a party that Mike Massella is having to celebrate graduation from High School and ends up shocking the guys, when he mentions two announcements that he and his girlfriend Ivy will be making at the get-together. 

The conclusion of my 3-part conversation with JoJo Bear. JoJo Bear is a Somatic Sex & Intimacy Educator in the San Francisco Bay area. JoJo uses somatic coaching, sexological bodywork, and hypnotherapy as tools to help people get out of their “heads” and into their bodies! His commitment is to create an environment where men, single or coupled, can feel safe enough to explore their wants, needs, and desires around their body, sex, and sexuality!  His passions include teaching the Wheel of Consent™, Belly2Belly Embodiment, and Medibation. Learn more about JoJo !!

From our June 2025 live Chicago show, Archy Jamjun, R.C. Riley, Amy Sumpter and Joe Mellen bring the laughs. Plus audiences answer the q, "What's your go-to fantasy?"Joe Mellen, storyteller Amy Sumpter, comic and rapper R.C. Riley, writer and performer Archy Jamjun, storyteller and comic Karen Yates, certified somatic sex educator and energy workerShow Sponsor: Rowan Tree CounselingLeave a tip for our work--we'd love $5 or $10 (or more!) to support the monthly costs of our podcast! Or join our monthly Patreon members' club, the Afterglow, for discounts and other goodies! Join now to help us continue to spread the message of sex-positivity.Free download! Get the guide Say It Better in Bed! 3 Proven Ways to Improve Intimate Communicationby host Karen Yates by going to the Wild & Sublime website.Are you looking for…?Wild & Sublime merchEpisodes on specific topicsThis episode's transcriptBooks on sex and relationshipsBuzzsprout bonus! Thinking of starting your own podcast? Buzzsprout can help you create, host and promote it! Plus lots of useful tools and resources to streamline the process and level up your pod game. Use our affiliate link for $20 off!Support the showFollow Wild & Sublime on Instagram and Facebook!

Most of us want to be seen, heard, and understood, but the fear of judgment can stop us from doing so. Whether it's being more social, speaking your feelings, or sharing creative work, putting yourself out there can feel risky, especially when we've been conditioned to play it safe due to past hurt or rejection. In this episode, we're sharing:

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains why lasting trauma recovery for gay men comes from evidence-based approaches like CBT and Narrative Therapy—not trendy quick fixes. Learn how to move beyond shame, grief, and rejection toward resilience and authentic connection.

Send us a textKC and Harley are back with more laughs and more stories! In this episode they take a close look at two very different tales about men watering their lawns. Both have long hoses and one is only wearing only a skimpy pair or nylon shorts! Should they call the police?KC shares details of a summer "glamping " trip through Wyoming, South Dakota, and Nebraska. He loves his enormous rig!Harley talks about an amazing and potentially frightening encounter with Google's new AI tool that creates realistic-sounding podcasts from text and really sounds human. Could it be misused to trick people who believe it's real?The Soundtrack Of Our Life segment is back and starts with a wild story about the roadside rescue of a white hat.Always remember to be kind and, like us, keep it Enormous!Make sure to subscribe, share, and leave a review to keep the conversation going! Enormous Website: www.EnormousPodcast.comVoice mail: (303) 351-2880Email: EnormousPodcast@gmail.comTwitter: www.Twitter.com/@EnormousPodInstagram:www.Instagram.com/Enormous_PodcastFacebook:www.Facebook.com/EnormousPodLink: The Soundtrack Of Our Life Video PlaylistLink: Male Diva EDM Spotify  Play ListLink: Songs Of Our Life Spotify Play List  

Angela Spearman, CSAT describes “globalized mistrust” as the tsunami of impact on betrayed partners after discovery. But what are the core thoughts and fears underlying and maintaining that tsunami once it gets going?  Together with Tami she addresses strategies for dealing with uncertainty, then answers participant questions about betrayal, boundaries, and triggers and more.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:09] The catalyst for the existential experience and global mistrust.  [5:20] Common questions from the betrayed partner (and what they really mean).  [7:27] Reshaping existential questions to encourage healing.  [11:10] The negative impact of rigid thinking.  [17:45] Complex and overwhelming realities in the world.  [21:00] Flexible thinking as a strategy for hope against cynicism.  [25:32] 3-step strategy for dealing with uncertainty.  [32:17] Processing the things you can't control.  [36:40] I'm spiraling through my shame and I can't support my wife either. Now what?  [42:18] How can I convey my boundaries to my partner?  [47:16] Why did my husband act out in the first place? [51:26] How can I support my betrayed partner when she no longer wants my support?  [53:29] How do I navigate communication issues due to trauma?  [55:47] Why would I ever rebuild a relationship with someone so despicable?  [59:03] Is my recovery work creating more triggers?  [1:01:08] How does one get the betrayer to stop playing the victim?  [1:04:01] How can I move past feelings of injustice of stolen time and feeling used? [1:06:28] How do I protect myself from being reinjured until I decide whether to leave?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “In any type of crisis that you go through, you're going to start asking some of these existential questions.”  “We start with a fact and then start forming beliefs and expectations based on things we've experienced in the past.”  “When we stop and pay attention to what our thoughts really look like, it can help us feel more empowered.”  “Hope is energizing. It empowers you.”  “There may never be a good enough answer.”   

Licensed marriage and family therapist Kristin Snowden discusses carried shame and the danger of absorbing a betraying partner's shame-filled life. She offers hope and tools for resiliency so that a betrayed partner can move through their own healing and get their lives and self-worth back again. She and Tami then answer participant questions about shame, addiction, and healing.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:30] Understanding the terms associated with trauma healing, addiction recovery, and carried shame.  [4:37] The importance of knowing your own shame stories.  [5:20] Defining carried shame in a betrayed partner.  [9:36] Every human being experiences shame and guilt.  [14:27] Why do we experience shame?  [18:04] The role of shame in the addiction cycle. [20:30] The 4 basic shame-filled stories that addicts operate out of.  [26:35] How does carried shame occur?  [38:48] How does carried shame manifest in the betrayed partner?  [39:35] How can carried shame be healed?  [46:19] D-Day was yesterday. What's next?  [48:03] How can I prepare for disclosure as a betrayed partner?  [51:43] How can my wife live with an addict like me?  [57:35] Why is my partner so incredibly defensive and derogatory toward me? [1:00:00] How can I accept the fact that I may be in a carried shame relationship?      RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “As part of your healing journey, it's necessary that you really get to know what your shame stories are.”  “Shame has good intentions, but it only drenches you with a painful experience.”  “Shame is a powerful, contagious emotion.”  “Shame lives in the non-language part of your brain. The more you talk about it, the more you can recognize distorted thinking around it.”  “Shame does not get sorted out in an isolated way.” 

We all know self-love is important, but what happens when it goes too far in the wrong direction? In this episode, Michael DiIorio is joined by therapist Michael Pezzullo for an honest conversation about the shadow side of self-love. Together, they explore: The difference between self-comforting and self-coddling How emotional sensitivity can become emotional fragility Why self-bulldozing is just as harmful as avoidance The four zones of the Self-Love Spectrum How trauma impacts the way we “love” ourselves How to tell if you're truly healing…or just hiding. You'll learn about the Self-Love Spectrum, the signs of self-coddling and self-bulldozing, and how to practice a more empowering, growth-oriented version of self-love- without abandoning your need for care and compassion. Join us for an episode that will help you get honest about how you love yourself, and what real self-love actually looks like. Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo Website Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Website Instagram Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

After 2+ years, we're back with a new YOBcast! OGs Tom and Ryan welcome new YOBcast regular Matt as we catch up on the last couple years of our nonprofit journey. Fittingly, with the formation of Your Other Sisters alongside YOB under our nonprofit ministry of Your Other Family, we discuss the topic of WOMEN. How well have we connected with women from childhood to today? Did we genuinely experience adolescent crushes on girls or even try dating women? How has our sexuality impacted our friendships with women in adulthood, and how have we honestly felt about the formation of this Your Other Sisters community? COMMENT ON THIS EPISODE Tell us a story about your relationship with girls in childhood or women in adulthood. Where have relationships with the opposite sex been easy, life-giving, and/or difficult? PODCAST EPISODE PAGE YOBcast 108: Women LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE Guys calling their male friends to say "good night" "Gay Men, Heterosexual Women and the Pain of Platonic Intimacy" RATE/REVIEW US Apple Podcasts FOLLOW THE CAST Tom's posts Ryan's posts Matt's posts GET IN TOUCH Call the YOFline: 1.706.389.8009 Email Tom: tom@yourotherbrothers.com Mail us: Your Other Family / P.O. Box 843 / Asheville, NC 28802 SUPPORT YOF General giving (for non-members) Giving toward membership in YOB Giving toward membership in YOS FOLLOW YOF YOF: YouTube | Facebook | Instagram YOB: Facebook | Instagram | TikTok YOS: Facebook | Instagram MUSIC CREDIT Intro/outro theme: “Borderland” by John Mark McMillan Benediction theme: "Feel it All" by sød ven 100% clearance through Musicbed

Some of us didn't choose to become lone wolves—we were shaped into them. Many gay men have learned to rely only on themselves, and while that self-sufficiency can feel empowering, it often comes at the cost of connection and intimacy. In this personal and vulnerable episode, Michael and Matt open up about their own lone wolf energy—where it comes from, how it's served them, and the moments when it became more isolating than empowering. Together, we're unpacking: The origin stories of our lone wolf instincts The protective thoughts that sound strong but hide deeper wounds What makes us want to cut people off—and what's really underneath that urge How this energy shows up in dating and relationships And how to honour your need for space without shutting people out Whether you identify as a lone wolf or love someone who does, this episode will help you navigate the delicate balance between fierce independence and meaningful connection. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Los Angeles Rams get DESTROYED for FIRING 10 Female Cheerleaders and REPLACING them with GAY MEN!

This episode was first shared in 2023, and here's what I had to say: You know how sometimes these conversations are only very, very, very tenuously linked to a queer space, and in the intro I try and come up with some justification for why we didn't talk that much about it to prepare you for the episode ahead? Well, dear listener, this week I'm not even going to try to insult your intelligence by pretending that we talked about a queer space, cause we didn't. I failed you.BUT, that's not to say that it's not a great conversation! I was lucky enough to sit down with Jaimie Kelton, actor, voiceover artist, author and host of the Queer Family podcast. And in our conversation we talk all about what it's like to grow up in one of the gayest cities in the world, San Francisco, but still battle with coming to terms with your own sexuality, how to shed the idea of yourself being a 'good girl', and why the stereotype of the u-haul lesbian is so damn persistent...

Why is hearing “no” so hard for gay men? Why does rejection cut so deep—and why do we sometimes choose control over connection? In this powerful and revealing episode, somatic guide and sacred intimate JoJo Bear joins us to explore how gay men navigate fear of rejection, touch deprivation, aging, and the need for control in a world that taught us we had to earn love to survive. JoJo works primarily with gay men over 40, helping them shift from mental noise into embodied presence—and his insights...