Chris and Tanner Podcast

Tanner asks Chris if it’s weird that he wants to just stay home and cook a meal for himself on Thanksgiving. Tanner went to Hawaii, visited his girlfriend’s family, and did nothing but stress out. Finally, the boys discuss their Halloween plans and offer some tips for getting the most out of the season. Music by Stormzy and Jóhann Jóhannsson

Our resident Rogaine expert Karol writes in to set the record straight. Tanner ponders the purpose of Jacks. Chris gave a speech at a wedding. Tanner is over comic-con. Rory sent in a love/hate so Tanner puts Chris in the hot seat. Music by Stormzy and 50 Cent

From Super Dumb Games Episode 22: Tanner visits a hot new restaurant in Oakland that inexplicably has bathrooms with frosted glass doors. 

Welcome new listeners; you've made a poor decision. Chris has a revelation to make about something he's doing to combat aging. Tanner has to rant about the woke kid/woke toddler genre of social media post, and the boys discuss Roseanne's implosion. Music by Stormzy and Morrissey

Chris and Tanner both got their 23andMe results back and now finally know whose blood line is superior. Chris's mom got bored and decided to work at Arby's. Tanner introduces a new game where Chris has to guess a movie based on its tagline.

Well that took a while didn't it? Some stuff has happened since we last spoke and you listened. We cover some of these life-changing developments, and also play a little game. Music by Stormzy and Rakim

Tanner gives an update on where the podcast has been and if it will return, and then talks about his favorite films, books, tv shows, games, and music from 2016.  Music by Haunted House, Rich Gang, Young Thug, and Yussef Kamaal

It wasn't easy, but we managed to find enough material from the first 20 episodes to make a greatest hits compilation.  So what are you in for? 1:12 Garrison Keillor 2:25 Drunk dad at Metallica concert 8:35 The Tastee Freez from "Jack and Diane" 21:48 Umbrella theft rant 27:06 The Great Towel Debate 38:22 Chris burps 43:49 Love/Hate Newlywed Game 1:08:29 Chris breaks down Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

Chris gets Tanner up-to-speed on the clown epidemic. Chris's cousin Kristina phones in with a firsthand report of a clown assault. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

It's fall -- well kinda. Chris isn't feeling it, and Tanner is on the fence. Still, Tanner puts Chris in the hot seat and has him try to guess the Farmer's Almanac's top ten fall activities. Chris is dating someone new and about to reveal to her he has the health of someone twice his age. Tanner discovered that the movie Monster Trucks was thought up by a movie executive's four year old son. Chris recalls the bizarre story of the movie Don's Plum. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

Chris is still filming his movie so longtime listener and short time friend Anna fills in once again. Tanner finally puts The Great Towel Debate to rest. Anna is having a baby and Tanner worries about the future her child faces. Tanner read about how apes and monkeys have entered the Stone Age, and a bonobo has learned to create fire, cook food, and put out fire. Tanner went to Michigan to help out with Chris's movie, stayed at a nightmarish motel, and met someone who was convicted of some nightmarish things. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

TECHNICAL NOTE: Tanner's audio sucks until 33 minutes in. Feel free to skip if it's too annoying. Listeners have weighed in on the The Great Hand Towel Etiquette Debate stirred up in Episode 17, and the results aren't pretty for Chris and Tanner. Chris is making his first movie and is an anxious mess. Tanner saw Don't Think Twice and has been thinking about what it means to be 35 and goal-less. Tanner also ponders why he has so few friends. Music by Haunted House and Francis and the Lights (ft. Bon Iver and Kanye West)

The boys are back in town. Chris provides a detailed timeline of 2016's worst moments, the most recent of which was attending his uncle's funeral and getting "ghosted" by a woman. Tanner found out his girlfriend used his bath towel as a hand towel and freaked out. Tanner saw a guy get singled out for seeing a movie alone. Chris and Tanner saw Ghostbusters. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

Tanner goes it alone in more ways than one in this episode, recorded in the middle of nowhere California at an isolated cabin and a semi-isolated Best Western. Tanner discusses solitude, receiving an urn in the mail, bidets, and almost getting punched in the face. Music by Perry Como, Haunted House, and Right on Wagner

Tanner gives an update on what's going on. Music by Tim Cappello

Tanner's in Detroit and dealing with the immediate aftermath of his mom's death. Chris tries to cheer him up with a story about an orangutan building a hammock. Tanner couldn't get enough of a story about a man who lost his life savings on a carnival game. Friend of the show Jason sent in some Love/Hate topics, so Tanner tosses Chris in the hot seat. Music by Haunted House and Cher

Tanner successfully moved his hair part from one side to the other. Chris gave his phone number to a woman and didn't hear back. Chris recommends the Netflix documentaries Welcome to Lieth, The Barkley Marathons, and Frank and Cindy. Tanner recommends Dead Slow Ahead. Tanner explains the true story behind flying ant day, and Chris reminisces about deer flies. Music by Haunted House, Right on Wagner, and Chris

Tanner can't handle that he's the same age that John Candy was in Summer Rental. Tanner and Chris mourn Prince and break down his insane performance at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Tanner got punched in the head while walking home from work. Chris puts Tanner in the hot seat and sees if Tanner can guess whether the topic was chosen by Chris or a listener. Music by Haunted House, Prince, and Right on Wagner

Chris went to a Bruce Springsteen concert and had to deal with a drunk woman invading his space and trying to make him dance. Tanner introduces a new twist on the traditional Love/Hate game called Love/Hate: Newlywed Edition and enlists long-time listener, short-time friend Anna to host. Music by Haunted House, Mark Safan, and Right on Wagner

Tanner breaks the story of a generation; Chris is a millennial according to Pew Research Center, and Tanner has Chris take a quiz to prove it. Inspired by friend of the show Casey's hilarious white dude claim that Tucson has "too much Mexican food," Chris asks Tanner what annoys him about Oakland. Tanner went to Sephora and complains about it, and Chris complains about buying clothes. Chris debuts a new game where he challenges Tanner to identify the correct months (and even days) within which one is allowed, according to Chris, to watch specific movies. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

From All Caps Podcast Episode 21: two running jokes are born -- post-term abortions and tossing unwanted babies (or three year old children) in dropboxes at fire stations or nunneries.

Chris had a surprisingly uneventful Easter dinner at Red Lobster with his parents, and he reminisces about participating in traditional Polish Easter rituals with an ex-girlfriend's family. Tanner complains about allergy attention seeking. Neither Chris nor Tanner liked the new Pee-wee Herman movie, but they still love Big Adventure. Tanner stumbled on a press release for a VR porn game. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

Season two! Chris and Tanner are back with a soft reboot that adds a little more structure and flow. Chris kicks things off with a story about an awkward moment he had with a blind person at work. Tanner saw a guy smelling clothes at the laundromat and is trying to figure out what it means. He also remembers a couple underwear stories from his past. Chris burps like a Boglin. Finally, Tanner puts Chris in the hot seat to play Love/Hate, a long-running game focused on knee-jerk reactions to random things. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

Chris and Tanner close out season one by dipping into the listener mailbag for the first time. Stay tuned for season two. Music by Haunted House

From Super Dumb Games Episode 24 and Live to Tape Show Episode 8: This one's kinda explicit. Well, more than normal at least. First, Chris explains that Tanner is being held captive by the Idaho Gun Jockeys and being, uh, "milked greedily." Then, Tanner reads a news story about a machine that's supposed to help with sperm extraction.

From Super Dumb Games Episode 6: Tanner reminisces about Chris's visit to the Bay Area.

From All Caps Podcast Episode 42: Tanner rants about people -- particularly old people -- who dress like they're going to war just to walk around botanical gardens. Chris then takes aim at old people in general.

From Super Dumb Games Episode 16: Tanner reads a press release for a videogame called Sphere Chess, and Chris decides to give them a call.

From All Caps Podcast Episode 26: Chris gives the fast-talking intro to the show a try, and Chris and Tanner discuss what it'd be like if a massive multiplayer online game (MMO or MMOG) would be like if it focused just on dating and sex.

From Live to Tape Show Episode 3: Chris and Tanner wax nostalgic about hiding out from tornados and reenact how a 12-year old Chris, with the help of is off-brand pump sneakers, would fare if a storm had struck his neighborhood.

This was meant to be episode 7, but Chris was depressed and got drunk. Tanner took it upon himself to try and make Chris "feel." As a result, there's not a whole lot of structure to this episode, so we decided to not make it canon. It's still well worth a listen. What you're in store for: the limits of white bourgeois politics, massaging teachers, Deadpool, a gunfight and a murder, encyclopedias, cat burping, Wilson Phillips, and not feeling anything. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

Chris and Tanner discuss their favorite theme park rides. Chris complains that things aren't happening fast enough. What things, you ask? You know just stuff like love, happiness, and success. Tanner thinks The Witch has secured a slot on top 10 films of the year. Chris stumbled on a live cam porn site and was not having it. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

Chris tries out his Garrison Keillor impression which kicks off some raving and ranting about NPR and old white bourgeois types who are liberal in name only. Chris and Tanner rave about Stand By Me, Marlon Brando, and the year 1986. Tanner talks about going to the pre-Super Bowl Metallica concert and how he realized bullies still exist even in old age. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

Chris rants about trying to write at a bar and a group of "work hard, play hard" types ruin it. Tanner had his umbrella stolen at a restaurant and has a message for the thief. Chris is late to the party but loves Silicon Valley, and Tanner says The Witness might be a game you want to check out even if you're not into games. Tanner reveals the true identity of the Tastee Freez mentioned in John Cougar Mellencamp's "Jack and Diane." Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

Chris goes it alone in this episode. He reflects on how being a creative type doesn't always work in relationships, and how he feels about jumping back into the dating world in his mid 30s. He also went to a monster truck rally and sorta liked it. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

Chris rants about loud bars and too-serious bar trivia teams. Tanner declares Pete and Pete the best children's show ever, and is shocked to find out about a convicted sex offender director (who isn't Roman Polanski) that continues to make movies. And then...things take a turn. Chris is depressed and in crisis, convinced he'll never find love. Be advised folks, this is a rough last (after credits) segment. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

Chris laments how parents assume their kids are geniuses rather than just normals, and then try to confirm it with IQ tests. He also rants about fandom but admits he was wrong about Dr. Who. Tanner thinks David Bowie's death was his last great work of art, and reveals how he had a crippling bout of social anxiety at a holiday party. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner

Chris and Tanner are back by no demand but their own, and even they are rethinking the decision. In this episode Chris runs down 2015's top celebrity deaths, Tanner rants about teens making out while he tried to watch a movie and raves about his favorite movies of 2015. Finally, Chris reveals how his self-deprecating personality has some dire consequences. Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner