Crossroads Recovery Centre

Have I ever sat down and wondered how the effects of addiction have manifested in me – physically and mentally? There may be a number of effects of addiction : apathy, a draining of internal resources, health, (for example diabetes), a lack of motivation, a lack of commitment, a lack of grit. Have I become socially withdrawn, introverted, emotionally numb, hypervigilant or distracted ? Am I unable to be present in my life ? What solutions have I looked at to manage the effects of my addiction ? Have I looked at Rational Emotive Therapy (RET), spiritual solutions, have I asked for help ? The best way to find a solution in these circumstances is to ask for help – seek guidance from someone who has walked this path successfully themselves. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. If you or anyone close to you needs help with an addiction to sex, gambling, substances, alcohol or food, please contact us for a free assessment. You may contact me directly or go to our site for more information: www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za 074 89 51043 JHB 012 450 5033 PTA

4. Self-centrredness How does the self-centred part of my disease affect my life and the lives of those around me? Selfishness, the centre of it all The cure for selfishness More concerned with my loss than a tual being Allowing the ebb & flow or what is real Am I giving because at some point I would like to receive? How unaware am I of the impact i have on others or more concerned with my hurt

Even when I try to do the right thing, I slip. Impulsive actions Thoughts that just pop into my consciousness Where does it come from Strange mental blank spot The Dis-ease

Where does obsession fit in? Am I constantly thinking about acting out in some way? Where can I get, how much, where can I steal a moment, how canbi have more that others and hide it Subtle thought processes running in background Do I find myself doing things I don't want to? Buy Looking at porn Overeating Am i unable to figure out why i do these things? Am I compelled by a force i cant comprehend Do i even have a clue where to begin?

Five Minute Contemplation: Do you ever think 'Why do I do the things I do'? Do you ever contemplate that 'driver' you have inside yourself and wonder what you can do about it? Maybe it's time to think about it?

Today we delve into Steven Pinker's book, Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress and look at the pace of how our civilization has evolved. We also revisit the Fermi Paradox, named after the Italian-American physicist Enrico Fermi. It posits the contradiction between the lack of evidence for extraterrestrial civilizations elsewhere in the Milky Way galaxy and various high estimates for their probability. We draw an analogy between what it takes to create planetary life forms and what it takes to reach enlightenment for ourselves. What does it take to become truly aware of our circumstances in recovery and what does it take to maintain our perspective in our spiritual journey ? Why is it so rare for people to maintain sobriety after treatment ? I hope you enjoy the podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get' – Forrest Gump. Life is unpredictable. We can plan and prepare for things but we have no way of knowing that things will work out exactly as we planned. We need to have faith in the decisions we make and understand that what is meant to be will be. We need to take responsibility for our decisions and then trust that where we end up is exactly where we are meant to be. Forrest finds himself in a plethora of difficult circumstances, but he continues to do his best in everything he does, and in the end that is what made his life fulfilling. The Forrest Gump philosophy means : allowing life to just happen. At the same time, in order to trust our intuition, our perspective needs to remain clear at all times and this takes time and effort. The amount of effort we put into trying to clear our perspective, which has been clouded by substance abuse, can determine where our lives are going. Our perspective will not remain clear unless we work at it. I hope you enjoy the podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Things that start out with positive intentions to them, can turn into negative situations. Fasting can be highly beneficial for my physical health and my cognitive capabilities, however, there is a fine line between fasting and starving myself. Stress on our bodies and our minds is not always detrimental and yet people fear stress. It is in places of discomfort where change begins. How do I navigate the finer lines ? There are so many unquantifiable things in our lives. The concept of a Higher Power is difficult to define for many of people. How do you describe the colour green to a person who has never had sight ? How do I Walk the Line ? I hope you enjoy the podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

“Most people are prisoners, thinking only about the future or living in the past. They are not in the present, and the present is where everything begins.” - Carlos Santana. Using the illustration of what it takes to play the guitar with skill, we look at what it takes to maintain sobriety. Recovery from addiction involves the learning of new skills and it takes commitment, dedication and many, many hours - and there will be parts of it that you will not enjoy. Acquiring a new skill means you are required to learn, you need to teach yourself and you need a feed-back mechanism in the form of a teacher or a coach or, in the case of recovering from addiction – a sponsor. In order to make progress, you will need to learn about your disease. You will need to make sure that you are not blindly repeating the same mistakes over again, and that you cannot do in isolation. I hope you enjoy the podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Society needs laws, systems and structures in order to function effectively. In this podcast we take a look at artificial intelligence (AI) – where machines simulate human intelligence, (intelligence being defined as “the ability to benefit from past experience, act purposefully, solve problems, and adapt to new situations”) by using rules to reach approximate or definite conclusions. Computers can now create – but is what they “create” really art ? There is a “human element” that is also necessary when it comes to the application of rules within society. We need to find the balance between laws, formulas, systems etc. and humanity. We also take a look at the Hindu concepts of Karma, Dharma, Reincarnation and Moksha and how these ideas can relate to our lives as addicts. If your quest is to find balance within your life, take a listen. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

If we take a scenario where people have the same talents, physical strength and intellectual abilities – there will still be people in that group who succeed and others who do not. What sets those people who succeed apart? What is it that makes some people capable of heroic, courageous acts? How are some people able to be constantly challenged and pushed past their limits and succeed towards the next step? How does one person obtain decades of sobriety and others battle to maintain sobriety over months and keep returning over years? How do we move from being a person who does not want to take responsibility or who has been unable to take responsibility, to one who can bear responsibility, after all there are far more things in life that create difficulties for us then there are things that are enjoyable to us. Perhaps it is the ability to decrease our ego's and increase our consciousness. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Humans everywhere create and rely on concepts of time- ideas about the nature of time that allow us to make plans, share memories and discuss possible futures. How does our perception of time impact us and the decisions we make and the way we run our lives? Demonstrations of time dilation on the Space Shuttle proved that clocks ran slightly slower than reference clocks on Earth. Atomic clocks on satellites appear to run faster. In most cultures, time is expressed in spatial metaphors, but these expressions are not universal – they are products of our culture, language and environment. Many cultures express the future as being ahead of them, but for some cultures, it is expressed as being behind them. We don't really have a complete understanding of time and how it functions nor is our concept of time universal. Our understanding of time is based purely on our own experience of it on Earth. What does this mean for recovering addicts where for many of us, the past is where anger and resentment come from and the future is where fear and anxiety are based? We cannot suspend time nor dismiss it but learning to live in the moment helps us to cope. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

The most respected people in the Gulags and the concentration camps were the people who told the truth, regardless of the consequences to themselves. Are we, as addicts, capable of evaluating and drawing conclusions about what is truth and what is not and how does the way an individual defines the truth for themselves impact on their own community ? Do we only tell the truth when it is convenient to us ? Do we look for convenience in our lives or meaning ? If you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting the same results. The objective in recovery is to change. Changing myself means evaluating myself and my emotions truthfully. “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning . I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Recovery is not a short term goal, it is not quantifiable and is a life long goal. At some time in our lives we have been happy. Our active addiction results in our losing all of this : Paradise lost. Time has been lost,our active addiction has stolen from us. How do we “regain paradise”? How do we find our way out of the darkness? Fear of change is a natural human instinct, but how do we overcome this? How we respond is what differentiates the hero from the coward and that is what will assist us in maintaining our sobriety. “The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero uses his fear, projects it onto his opponent, while the coward runs. It's the same thing, fear, but it's what you do with it that matters." - Cus D'Amato” “A belief may be comforting. Only through your own experience, however, does it become liberating”.- Eckhart Tolle, “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment”. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

In 1784, the philosopher, Immanuel Kant described enlightenment as “humankind's emergence from its self-incurred immaturity”, its “lazy and cowardly” submission to the “dogmas and formulas” of religious or political authority. Humans are innately emotional beings, made from what Kant referred to as the “crooked timber of humanity”, combined with which the way we understand the world around us changes over time. Elements such as cognitive bias can evade our personal awareness and we can be convinced that we're seeing clearly, and thinking rationally, when we're not. We still embrace or reject evidence too easily, but civil contact with people of different perspectives can keep the resulting distortions within bounds. Our interpretation of reality, our reason and our intellect needs to be tested at times with the guidance of another which often takes courage. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

“You are the maker of the dream … Whatever you put into the dream must be what is in you.” - Fritz Perls. There is little doubt that your dreams can impact the type of day that you are going to have. Dreams can indeed be very significant. Dmitri Mendeleev came up with the idea for the periodic table in a dream. Paul McCartney woke up with a tune in his head and thought, 'That's great, I wonder what that is?' and began to write down the music for what became “Yesterday” a song which resonates with us 50 years later. But when do we assign meaning to our dreams ? Are dreams not just an experience and should we not just experience the experience? Or, can dreams be used to understand what is going on inside ourselves ? How does our day-dreaming affect our conscious lives ? Are you a slave to your unconscious thinking ? Is it possible to leverage dreams to help you with your life ? We consider these questions and take a brief look at what Freud, Jung and the Gestalt theorists had to say about dream theory. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

“Later I also learned to go into that inner timeless and deathless realm that I have originally perceived as a void and remain fully conscious.” The Power of Now : A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment – Eckhart Tolle. If success depends on how well I handle transition from one set of circumstances to the next, what does it take to cope with transition ? How do I manage the external stressors within my life and those aspects of personal malevolence within myself ? When I fail to take responsibility for myself, drama begins to creep into my life but continuously taking responsibility requires sustained effort. Managing transition periods results in personal evolution. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

How do we reach a shift in consciousness within ourselves ? What does it take for this to occur ? Is it an external event or an internal event ? What does finding enlightenment for yourself have in common with the birth of the universe and the possibility of there being life on other planets ? Both are rare events. Drawing an analogy between what it takes to create planetary life forms and what it takes to reach enlightenment for ourselves, we take a journey through the Fermi Paradox, the Boltzmann Brain Theory, cataclysmic events and Eckhart Tolle's book “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment “ – to try and answer some of these questions. Quotes : “Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realise that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.” - Eckhart Tolle. “To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain is freedom, salvation, enlightenment” - Eckhart Tolle. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

How do we process the information around us and what effect does this information have on us ? In our addiction, where we influenced by the people around us which led to us making poor choices? We were the villain in our lives influenced by the thinking and behaviour of other villains. This is not an uncommon phenomenon, the theory has been tested again and again in such things as the Milgram experiment and the Nuremberg Trials and in South Africa with the Truth and Reconciliation Commission – it is human nature to be influenced by those around us. Not many of us have the courage to stand up in the face of tyranny and to those around us, even though sometimes we are aware that what we are doing is wrong or that it goes against our personal value systems and code of ethics. Few people have the courage to be a hero – to be “The Tank Man” of the Tiananmen Square protests of 1989. Just because we get clean and sober – does our behaviour change ? Can we become The Hero in our own lives ? "A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself." - Joseph Campbell. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

#33 Flow, finding space “The last great attempt to free consciousness from the dominion of the impulses and social controls, was psychoanalysis; as Freud pointed out, the two tyrants who fought each other for control of the mind were the Id and the Superego, the first a servant of the genes, the second a lackey of society – both representing the “Other”. Opposing them was the Ego, which stood for the genuine needs of the self connected to its concrete environment” - Flow : The Psychology of Happiness” - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. The process of recovery is a lifelong commitment. There will be times where we will feel overwhelmed by our circumstances. Sometimes these challenges will come from within ourselves. How do we get ourselves to a place, mentally, where we are able to push through and overcome the challenges with which we are faced. How do we manage mental and emotional fatigue ? Merely using positive self-talk is not going to be sufficient – we have to know that we can get through. We have to build mental strength. How do athletes build this mental strength ? How have people with multiple years of clean or sober time managed successfully ? “Control of consciousness determines the quality of life.” Flow : The Psychology of Optimal Experience - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. “If you are interested in something, you will focus on it, and if you focus attention on anything, it is likely that you will become interested in it. Many of the things we find interesting are not so by nature, but because we took the trouble of paying attention to them.” Finding Flow : The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

What is consciousness and what is spirituality and how do we explain these concepts so that they make sense to us? How can coming to our own understanding of these concepts help us overcome periods of adversity in our lives ? Is consciousness the result of chemical interactions in our brains or is it the what religious people refer to as a soul ? Are my choices in life programmed by my genes ? Are machines capable of consciousness ? Perusing knowledge around these concepts can better prepare us to build resilience and help us to access the inner resources required to push through adversity. Just as our understanding of the universe has changed over millennia, so the debates around what consciousness is, have changed, as scientists and philosophers gain more information. This podcast explores some of the questions above. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Do Honour Codes work? DO HONOUR CODES WORK. In this podcast I talk about two opposing ends of a scale. Strictly abiding by the rules or not bothering with them at all. Using the ancient Bushido honour codes as a metaphor for our current life situations. This code is particularly fascinating because if its followed to the strictest letter of the law, it could end your life. It can be potentially dangerous but there are some many fascinating elements to the code that are so beneficial to society and are currently working. Where and how do we draw out lines. There are so many elements of this ancient code visible in Japanese society and the Japanese people are noted for their politeness. Benevolence is a key principal in the code, along with loyalty. As outsiders I think we misinterpret this. With regards to strict adherence to the code, this might be natures way of removing crazy hardliners. Difficult thought though. That said, I hope you enjoy the podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

When looking at the Grant Study, one of the longest multigenerational studies done, a few facts stand out immediately. That's the basis of this podcast, along with about 5 other studies along the same lines to back it up. What is of particular importance is how glaring problems with alcohol are. In conjunction with smoking are the biggest causes of premature illness and death. Many people try to quite smoking and replace it with overeating. Its just swapping one addiction with another. People don't actually gain weight when they stop smoking, they substitute. If your lifelong quest is happiness, take a listen. Hope you enjoy this podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

COGNATIVE DISSONANCE is justifying why I've made the choices I have. Explaining away any doubt, when I don't even fully believe myself. This explanation is a radically over simplified and I got into much more detail in this podcast. I draw on parallels, using examples from the not too distant political past and doomsday cults. We are aware of many of our biases but we still fall into traps. I hope you enjoy this podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Fringe Sub-cultures There are always going to be Fringe Sub-cultures and if we pay any attention, it would seem they are an imminent threat. Politics and extremism are always a hot topic if we look at how many news channels there are! Not forgetting that in our country, to get a license to broadcast, there are a minimum number of mandatory news hours required. Extremism, whether it be political; financial or social all have a grounding in spirituality. What that connection is though, is hard to define. There seem to be two schools of thought. One, the system is corrupt and needs to be replaced or destroyed. The other is that people are to be blamed and they need to be gotten rid of or replaced. Add to this the reasons why people tend to join fringe sub-cultures is another story. Perhaps the solution is much simpler than we think. I hope this episode will shed a bit of light on where the real answers lie. I hope you enjoy it. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

How to Win When We're Losing Life is a zero-sum game – the harsh reality is that there are winners and losers in every walk of life. And if we accept that there are always going to be those that are better than others, we should do our utmost to hone our life skills so we have the best possible chance of success. But even in losing there are lessons to be learnt from being graceful in defeat. In fact, everything in life depends on our attitude towards defeat and losing – how skilful are we? Have we accepted training or do we think we know everything? How much willingness do we have to learn from our mistakes? Do we have the grit to struggle through adversity to be our best? Only by understanding that the solution lies within can we reach our true potential. I hope you enjoy this podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Control Freak Are you a control freak? I guess if your looking at this you are wondering how this podcast can serve you? We have so much going on in our lives, as South Africans and global citizen. There is so much happening in our lives and our world that we have absolutely no control over. How we face these challenges is the purpose of this discussion. Whether we are looking at the political sphere, the economic market or even medicine, we are at the mercy of the tides. The ebb and flow of markets and sentiment. The only real answer to living with this is acceptance. My observations are that many people are resigned to their circumstances and unable to get out of them. We all need to start somewhere, to be pointed in the right direction. This episode deals with foundational concepts. Without which I believe we are stuck. I hope you enjoy this podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

What Are My Priorities? Do I know what my priorities are? How much time do we spend doing the things we love and how much time do we think about the things we want to get to but aren't that high up the list. Perhaps we want to get that degree or get to the gym but its just not that import. Then we have the things we are passionate about. We spare no expense and will willingly sacrifice time to get to these things. Whether it be playing music or computer games to doing volunteer work. Just how do we reconcile these two? In this podcast I look at motivation and how to use motivation. Just how important is it to be unselfish to getting the things that are important to me. Paradoxical I know. Have a listen  I hope you enjoy this podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

#24 People Pleasing People pleasing is a behaviour that is as old as the hills, more recently described as Codependance. It is a really sticky problem and a behaviour that is incredibly difficult to change. I would say almost impossible to do anything about alone. Ultimately though, you have to do ALL the work to recover. The most famous point of recognition is being a victim. While Codependent people rarely admit to this behaviour, they sure indulge it in themselves. People pleaser's defining characteristic is selfishness because every decision is based on how that person feels. It is the barometer for every decision. This results in a ton of secret self-pity. More importantly though is the persecutor, although any self-respecting people pleaser will never admit to this behaviour. They always think of themselves in the best light. ‘I would never harm anyone!' unless of course we are having a sulk and behaving in a passive-aggressive fashion. Lastly the rescuer. This is perhaps the thing that saves the people pleasing person, at the end of the day. We overcommit to the point of burnout, caretaking anything that comes across our path. If the people pleasing person is lucky, they get the right kind of help. If not, 2 codependent people might destroy each other in a relationship. I go into a bit if detail and look at a solution, if you need help getting out of this hole, please get hold of me and I can help. I hope you enjoy the podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

# 23 Fear Of The Dark Fear of the dark. We have a long relationship with the dark any many people have used this fear to their advantage. It's important because it can give us some perspective over how much control we have over our mind, versus how much of what we do is based on our genetic coding. There is a field of study that has looked at how much of our behaviour and actions are directly tied to our genes. This is important if you suffer with any addiction, whether its food, sex, alcohol or drugs. Are we able to win the war against our base natures or are we doomed to suffer eternally? There is so much we know and there is so little we know. Years ago we thought the Atom was the smallest particle, now it's a Quark? We have done so much research trying to understand ‘mind over matter' and how to rise above. This work has to start somewhere and the jumping off point is accepting how powerless we are over the world and it's things. This brings us to the point of doing something about us and our mind. To learn more please listen to the podcast. I hope you enjoy it! This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

What does Undifferentiated Being even mean? Well we evaluate everything we look at and experience. This is influenced by a kind of Naïve Realism and a whole bunch of cognitive dissonance, it's our responsibility to make as much sense out of as we can. Nothing does this better than being present in our lives. When we are recovering from our past decisions, whether its addiction or just the consequences of the choices we make, we bring this same confused mentality to bear on the problem. In this podcast I outline the mental stumbling blocks and challenge we face, just in our regular lives. There is a solution though but it's a tricky one to explain. I hope you enjoy this podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

You have to earn your serenity. It would seem that we can be as surrendered as we like and willing to accept our consequences, this doesn't exempt us from the stress and anxiety though. The real deal is learning to live with our consequences and that is no easy task. Doesn't matter who you are, you are going to face challenges that take you to your darkest fears, it seems unavoidable. When talking about spiritual solutions, what I refer to is our spirit. How is your spirit? What about the times you feel worn down with the weight of the challenges you have to bear and bear them you must? The ultimate goal is freedom and sometimes the only freedom available to us is acceptance. This is a tough subject and might leave you with questions, drop me a mail if you wish. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

The connection between recovery and surrender is a very difficult concept to explain. What do we surrender to and how does this whole business work? Surrender is such an important concept when faced with getting clean, giving up alcohol and drugs. Everything depends on it & its not a new concept. Many different groups of people have really battled in trying to communicate this to people in crisis. Life can be very tough when we've just put down drugs or alcohol and have to live. Such a simple thing but we complicate it so much in our minds. Fortunately, there is a way out of the insanity of addiction but it requires a tremendous amount of effort. Best know which direction to head in. I hope you enjoy the podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Our freedom depends on truth and truth is hard earned. Its rare that we find ourselves in a position, when making decisions, that we have all the information. This is intensified with the vast amount of variety was have at our disposal. When it comes to decisions that impact on our lives and we are facing the long game, how do we know we are headed in the right direction? I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed recording it. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Faced with no options, where do we turn? If your life is going to pieces and you are doing everything right and what you are experiencing shouldn't be happening, how do you survive? As a person who has experienced therapist or executive burnout, it can be a total nightmare. It feels like you might just loose it completely. No matter where I looked there where no answers and I felt total alone. I had no idea what to do. I didn't want to use chemical, my experience being they don't work. The ultimate sacrifice wasn't an option because over a period of many years, I had begun to love my family and didn't want to hurt them like that. All that was left was to surrender, completely different from resigning to my most awful fate. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

3 Dimensional Shadow Do you have a 3 dimensional shadow? Has anybody ever tried to measure its thickness & what would the purpose would it serve? The idea behind todays podcast is to look a bit further at the universe we see. Really, to look at the spaces in between what is real and what is illusion. Are we capable of seeing true 2 dimensional space or are we bound to our 3 dimensional perspectives? This is so relevant to our recovery. In addiction we lose sight of reality and get lost in our minds. It's not even necessary to use drugs or alcohol to lose touch with real life and go spiralling out of control. Finding our way back can be a real challenge. This is where the true restoration to sanity lies. I found the material of this podcast very interesting and really enjoyed the discussion. I hope you do too. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

In this episode of the podcast I discuss the idea of effective practice. Everybody loves and winner and we all like to think that people become talented because they are born that way. Sure there is an element of winning the genetic lottery. Research is showing though, that peak performance can be earned. Hard work in isolation is not enough. There needs to be more & science is showing us how. Whether it be a chess grand master or a virtuoso musician, there are basic similarities in the way extra-ordinary performance is achieved. This is of particular interest if you are trying to manage your life, never mind have time to become a chess grand master. What good would it serve anyway? Have a listen as I go into more detail on the techniques of success I hope you enjoy listening to this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

In this episode I reference the book ‘Peak' written by K. Anders Ericsson. A most remarkable book and one of the 7 books I believe has had the biggest impact on my life. Changing one's life can be tough going at the best of times and Anders book proves that its not a fruitless attempt. All his work is backed up with research and data. I strongly recommend buying this book and reading it. From cognitive bias is such subjective opinions on personal music taste to the many studies of chess champions and classically trained music virtuosos, he has squeezed out what it takes to rise above any pursuit and excel in your chosen objective. I'm glad this podcast gave me an opportunity to revisit the material and share it with you. I hope you enjoy listening to this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Mental Recovery In general, we have a tendency to make a lot of assumptions about a variety of issues. We think we know all there is to know about using drugs or how our minds work. This couldn't be further from the truth. We might know certain aspects of various subjects but unless we really apply ourselves to discovery, these can be very biased to reinforcing what we already believe. Using the experiences of freediving as a metaphor, I look at how closely it parallels mental processes and recovery from entrenched belief systems. How placing ourselves in hostile environments impacts on our survival instincts. I hope you enjoy listening to this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

In the greater scheme of things, the stories we hear have the potential to hold a lot of meaning. Provided we are diligent and willing to look a little below the surface, the past holds information that is relevant to us today. In long gone era's the ancients also battled with stress and anxiety. As true as it is today, past generations have also been looking for the best way to live with the extremes life sometimes has a tendency to throw at us. Caught in the very human trap of foresight and hindsight we struggle for understanding and relief. Why is spiritualty so prominent? Are all the religions and beliefs of the ages misguided or wrong? worthy of contempt? Or is there some wisdom into be found? Hopefully this podcast will go some way in trying to give perspective to these ideas. I hope you enjoy listening to this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Physical & Emotional Comfort The way we approach our physical comfort and the way we approach our emotional comfort are remarkably similar. When things get a bit uncomfortable, we try our very best to avoid them. This can be a surprisingly unhelpful idea. If we look at the physical side of thing, because emotions can be so hard to work with, we can see certain patterns. If its to cold we hurry out of the cold and put the heater on. If we feel a tinge of hunger, we eat something. The list is endless and we find ourselves in a kind of homeostasis zone or comfort zone. We become emotionally bent out of shape on many levels just by avoiding anything that would push our limits. This has the potential to create havoc in our lives and we have little or no idea how to get out. Society doesn't help either because we've all become so focused on finding the easy way out, where often there isn't one. People adapt in multiple ways but the solution I'm discussing in the podcast is information outlined in Scott Carney's book ‘What Doesn't Kill Us'. Learning how to breath and expose ourselves to the cold is an excellent starting point. In fact, I have found few better. We can learn how to gain a bit of perspective, using mechanisms that have been developed over thousands of years. That we are a part of us and easily accessible. Without giving to much away, I Hope you enjoy this podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

For thousands for years people have been misinterpreting what is in front of their eyes and then insisting that everyone believes what they do and should do things their way. With all the arrogance and misinformation prevalent in human interactions, it's no surprise we have to deal with the massive amounts of stress and anxiety we do. Why are we not being taught the origins of stress and anxiety? Faced with these realities in our inner workings of our communities and the near certainty that they will not be changing soon, what do we do? When we are recovering from substance abuse, burnout or just confusion with life, where do our responsibilities lie? The hard reality is that it's pretty much entirely up to use to investigate solutions and this can be no small feat. Especially if you have no idea what's wrong and no clue where to begin. Hopefully this podcast will go some way in pointing you in the direction out. These ideas will help you draw your own conclusions I hope you enjoy listening to this podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Morphic Resonance vs The Empire Is it even possible to identify Morfic Resonance? Something that can or cannot be seen, depending on your perspective? Certainly something that is important to any person who wonders why they behave the way they do and do the things they do. We are all familiar with Empire's and Dynasties. Whether it is a version we see in the movies or a dictatorship that is enforcing its will on society. The Struggle In this podcast I use the juxtaposing positions of The Rebellion and The Empire to illuminate the struggle of life. Not just pointing out how much a part of these two extremes we face every day but also how much of an influence they have on our enlightenment. Spiritual Condition Cosmic memories, DNA, Communism and Democracy are all variations on our Spiritual Condition. Each one demanding our attention. The answers again seem so simple if we look, if we take the time. There's a lot of information in this podcast. Please feel free to get hold of me if agree or disagree with my perspectives. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Few of us are fooled by the smiley, false teeth brigade. Who like to lead us into believing things have just fallen into place for them? That if we just do it their way, we to can obtain Nirvana. Recovery requires our dedication. No one else, no matter how much they want to, can do it for us. Sounds a bit cliché, doesn't it? Recovery is a fight for survival. We sometimes miss the point and want to believe that if we do everything perfectly and follow the systems religiously, we will be exempt from the fight. If you've ever wondered what your doing wrong, when you are doing everything right. Then perhaps this podcast is for you. I hope you enjoy it. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Time as a Measurement of Sanity In 1972 two scientists set out to establish if time, measured at a stationary point, would have the same value as time measured in motion. They set up a Cesium Beam atomic clock on an airplane and measured it against a stationary clock. We as humans are constantly measuring everything. We should use the same measurements we make of time as a measurement of sanity. Unfortunately we usually don't think in these terms. Abdicating Responsibility There is so much we are generally unaware of and make all kinds of import decisions with far reaching consequences, that impact our futures. We take little responsibility, preferring to dump the blame on someone else. It is so hard to gain perspective and requires ongoing discipline. Something addicts are notoriously lacking in. Occam's Razor In this podcast I to hope to motivate the reasoning behind why we end up making the bad choices we do. What can be done about it is such a counter intuitive solution and so difficult to quantify. I can attest that it is usually the simplest explanation that is true. I hope you enjoy listening to this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Artificial Intelligence and Addictive Thinking Hi and thanks for downloading this podcast. In this episode I talk about Artificial Intellence and how much of an influence it has on our live already. There are stark comparisons with how we think and the way AI is designed. How useful is this to us as an illustration for addictive thinking? When drugs and alcohol start to impact on our minds we need a way back. That is what the Crossroads message is about. A restoration to sanity. I hope you enjoy listening to this podcast and find it helpful. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

The Iceman, Willpower and Addiction? What does the Iceman have to do with recovery or drug addiction & alcoholism? Hardly seems relevant that swimming around with the glaciers has anything to do with our lives and the challenges we face. What's the connection between the 4-minute mile and willpower? Do we need willpower to survive or is it a myth? Can Willpower Work? Willpower is such a huge issue in addiction recovery. So many people are so completely misinformed and in some cases delusional about what can and can't be done about addiction recovery. In this podcast I hope to shed a bit of light on what the mental blocks are that we face as humans and how we can overcome them. Plato and Recovery People have been trying to do this for 1000's of years. Its not new. The best thing that we can do is to be responsible and do the research. Find out what your faced with and what you can do about your addiction. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Addiction, Compliance and Business The connection between these 3 things, Addiction, Compliance and Business, might seem tenuous but I assure you they are not. Anybody who has gone up against any one of these will know how tough it can be to change. Any one of these aspects of life can be potentially overwhelming but at times we all face them. What do we do? How do we cope? Are these things a potential threat to our selves? In this podcast we point to a way out. A way to overcome. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

In this podcast I speak about the Milgram experiment and how the lessons of the experiment can be applied to our recovery. It might be a stretch to think that electrocuting people has anything to do with staying clean but it does. What really helps us with our recovery and our life, are the people we surround ourselves with. We all love a hero, someone who is able to stand against the odds. Overcome adversity. Experience and research has shown that top achievers get to where they are with help! Going it alone, especially in addiction recovery, is perilous. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

In this podcast the conversation focuses on narcissism and how it applies to everyday life and recovery. I hope you enjoy this podcast and please feel free to drop me a mail with any comments Dominic 0105977784 (Johannesburg) 0123451186 (Pretoria) Check out our site at www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za or email us at infojhb@crrc.co.za

This podcast is an introduction to meditation and how this might be useful to someone struggling with alcohol or drug problems, or just life problems. I go into some of the basic struggles someone might encounter who is getting started with meditation.