Freaky Franchise

You know those horror movies where you keep yelling at the screen because the protagonists keep doing the most obviously stupid things? The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) is very much that movie. These kids pick up hitchhikers in the middle of nowhere. They go into houses alone with strange men. They agree to meet the sheriff at a secondary location. They hide in abandoned meat factories. So for this episode, we spend most of our time discussing these and countless other red flags that occurred throughout the film. We also talk about Kipper the Dog, lasagna brains, "Jassa" Dugger, and our Not-Listening eras.

Did you know that the fourth installment of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise features not one but *two* future academy award winners? Well, we're guessing the people watching this film in 1995 didn't see that coming either. Despite turning over cannibalism for pizza parties, this film has all of the violence and gore that you would expect, as well as dinosaur skeletons and the Illuminati. Don't worry about it! We'll also talk about belt dresses, Little Ceasar's, and the Anti-Semitic Point of No Return. 

We're back! And we're ready to dive right into The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3. This one teaches us that we should never take the Cowboy's Route, and give us a lot to think about in terms of when something becomes soup. It also gives us a look into an entirely new side of the Sawyer family that raises more questions than answers. We'll also talk about pocket chainsaws, sustainable cannibalism, and Californian underwear.

It's been a long time. Like, a really long time. But the masked monsters have stopped chasing us, and we will be returning from our hiatus soon!

We're back with more from our 100th episode! In Part 2 we'll cover HALLOWEEN (2007) and A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010), read some more listener messages, reveal the giveaway winner, and spend some time looking towards the future of Freaky Franchise. Thank you all for listening and making 100 episodes (well, 101) possible!

We've finally made it to 100! Join us as we take a look back at all of the movies we've watched, read some messages from our listeners, and discuss the remakes of THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (2005) and FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009). If you're listening to this when it's first released, there's still time to send us a message for Part 2! https://forms.gle/ceHWBuFAHHZqBGxg9

In this episode we discuss The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Part II, a spoof sequel that came out 12 years after the original. As you can imagine, that makes this one a little different than the typical second film. We've still got Leatherface and the rest of his cannibalistic family (even Grandpa!), but now they're terrorizing all of Texas and turning people into chilli. We'll discuss whether this is a bad spoof or too good of a spoof, and talk about the importance of a cool nickname (something everyone in this film has). We'll also talk about email logins, chilli cookoffs, purse trash, and dorito meat.

This week, we're heading back almost 50 years to cover the earliest film we've ever talked about and one of the most well-known: the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. We'll discuss the many, MANY red flags that pop up in this movie, and try to figure out why Leatherface is the only one who achieved fame when he's got a whole family with their own unique murder-related passions and skillsets. We'll also talk about different types of grave robbing, armadillo skeletons, the retrogradation of various planets, and prickly pear varients. We're coming up on 100 episodes! Send us a message for the 100th and be included in a giveaway.

After 5 proms (well, 4 proms and 1 private party in a former monsatary), slashers, ghosts, stalkers, a demon-possessed priest, and a whole bunch of murders, we are finally ready to wrap up this franchise. We'll discuss themes of sexism, harassment, revenge and comeuppance, and who takes you home. We will also be joined by high school teacher and co-host of The Parentacons, Jason Stark, to talk about prom.

We're back with the final Prom Night movie, and we've realized that this one is much less about ghosts and avenging someone's death, and much more about an incompetent police system. Is it the worst movie we've watched for the show? Not even close. Is it the most frustrating? It very well might be. But at least these kids finally get to have their prom at a fancy hotel instead of the school gym. We'll also talk about bell boys, prophetic dreams, Danny Fenton, and tap dancer's instincts.

Have you ever wondered what the recording experience is like for us? Here's your chance to hear everything that doesn't make it into the episodes that you hear with an outtakes reel. Sometimes we say words wrong. Sometimes we get onto tangents so off-topic that we don't put them in. Sometimes we get distracted. And sometimes something happens in the middle of a recording that makes us scream. Because these are outtakes the audio is sometimes a bit funky, but we hope you enjoy this (and have a new appreciation for the time we spend editing).

It's Prom Night again! But this time, we're not going to prom. We're going to an old seminary-turned-Summer-home to be pursued by a possessed priest. Sounds crazy, right? But this one's actually a back-to-basics slasher, all about teens getting murdered with a strange yet practical weapon. We'll try once again to unpack Catholic horror and to figure out why on earth teens would pass up a perfectly good prom to sit around in an empty house all night. We'll also talk about Camp Rock, the novels of John Green, and a tour of makeout history.

Mary Lou's back, but this time, things are a bit different. She's managed to escape the Hell Prom and she's got her sights set on Alex, the most average man that you will ever meet. Alex is cool with this (who DOESN'T want to make out with a hot ghost?) until she starts killing anyone who gets in his way. We'll talk about what Mary Lou is getting right and try and wrap our heads around why she's obsessed with Alex. We'll also talk about Mrs. Washington Goes to Smith, football fields, American patriotism from Canada, and what defines a banana split.

It's prom night again, but this time things are a little different. We've got the vengeful ghost of a murdered prom queen, possession, and some Nightmare-On-Elm-Street-Style special effects. Add to that a whole lot of sexism and some heavy-handed moralism with unclear statements about Catholicism, and you've got quite a film. We'll also talk about red lipstick, high school prop closets, stink bomb experiences, and self-induced swirlies.

Get your fancy dress and your corsage and get ready for some awkward photos—it's prom season! This week we're starting the Prom Night franchise, and boy is there a lot going on here. We'll discuss how we could have thrown a better prom and led a better investigation into the suspicious death of a ten-year-old. We'll also talk about violent recess games, how to pronounce the name "Wendy", everything happening at the last minute, and the Taylor Swift classic "Teardrops on my Guitar".

Join us as we do our best to connect the dots between three very different movies. We'll discuss giant monsters along with themes of saving yourself vs. saving others, found family, documentation, and survival. We'll also go through a disaster survival checklist and see if we're ready to face a Cloverfield event (spoiler alert: we're not).

This week, we're in space! The third and final (at least for now) film in the Cloverfield franchise gives us some insight into how this whole thing started. At least, we're pretty sure it does. Not going to lie, it's a bit hard to follow. In this episode, we'll spend equal amounts of time talking about what happens in the film and trying to define the word "paradox". We'll also talk about astronaut food, 3D printer safety settings, flex tape, and how to pronounce Neve Campbell's name.

Would YOU trust a strange man who kidnapped you, put you in a bunker, and told you that the apocalypse had happened and you're one of a few people safe and alive? You probably shouldn't, but in this film, that seems to genuinely be the case. Howard, Michelle, and Emmet are now stuck in a bunker while the rest of the world goes to Hell. But this is a horror movie, so you know it's a bit more complicated than that. We'll discuss whether or not having a bunker is a good idea and how we would cope with this situation. We'll also talk about CPR certification, People Crying Underground, fruit roll-ups, and a different Bradley Cooper.

Quick question: if a monster was wreaking havoc on New York City, would you a) flee the city or b) run into the center of the city, right into the path of the monster? If you chose b we don't know what you're doing, but maybe you'll understand the people in this movie better than we do. We'll talk about our own plans for if something like this happens, and why we're going with option a. We'll also talk about box offices, the definition of "lawn", Scrappy Doo, and Coney Island baby warmers.

After watching more movies than we have for any other franchise, we're ready to say goodbye to the Amityville Horror house (along with the countless haunted objects that came from it). We'll take a look at all 11 of the movies we watched to discuss themes including truth vs. fiction, corruption, and bad dads. We'll also talk with Chris Granniss to give us the perspective of an Amityville local.

We're ending our coverage of the Amityville Horror franchise where it really began: with the murder of the DeFeo family at 112 Ocean Avenue. We'll discuss the ethically murky waters that this film resides in, and try to parse out what is true from what was clearly created for a compelling film. We'll also talk about Long Island accents, applying to only one college, fake nightmares, and vibing with Nona.

What is this? A movie with a theatrical release? After the last few Amityville films we watched, we weren't sure that something like this would ever happen again. But here we are, with recognizable actors and a significantly bigger production budget than we have seen in some time. Once again, a family has moved into the Amityville House, only this time, the original book and movie are well-known cultural icons to everyone except for the family. At first it seems like it's all hype, but when the family's son suddenly awakes from a... coma? Persistent vegetative state? It's unclear. All we know is that he probably isn't alone in there. We'll talk about some big issues, like ableism and sexism. We'll also talk about cool middle school styles, pottery barn, tunics, and whether or not you pull a literal plug.

This film takes a whole new approach to the Amityville haunting, through the lens of a twelve-year-old boy making a documentary about the haunted house that he and his family just moved into. The literal lens, since this is a found footage movie. We'll join Tyler and his family as his father quickly descends into madness, the ghost of Ronald DeFeo causes all sorts of problems, and a family under-reacts to multiple people dying in their home under mysterious circumstances. We'll also talk about spying on each other, bad parenting, and John Matthews.

This week, we're finally back in the Ocean Avenue house... in miniature. The miniature house is inside a real house that is definitely not the Ocean Avenue House. We can't tell you exactly how this dollhouse got there, or how it's doing the things that it's doing, or why there are wasps involved, since all of the previous movies have featured flies. What we can tell you that this house is just as haunted and evil as the full-sized version. We'll also talk about fire safety training, detention, and suspicious gerbil death.

Happy New Year! With 2020 coming to an end, we thought that this might be a good time to continue our vacation from the Amityville franchise and make some predictions for the coming year. We tried a variety of different divination methods to see what the next year has in store for all of us. Here's looking forward to 2021!

Happy holidays! We're continuing our annual tradition of discussing why a beloved Christmas special is actually a horror movie. This year we're talking about Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. This film is typically thought of as the origin story of our beloved Kris Kringle, but it also examines what it means to be a monster. Sometimes, the monsters aren't the big scary wizards with evil powers. Sometimes, the monsters are people just like us. They might even be the people that we would call our heros.

We are now officially on our third haunted object movie of the Amityville Horror franchise. But don't worry, this time it's TOTALLY different (and actually slightly more connected to the original plot than the others have been). This time around, we've got a mysterious demon-filled mirror that comes to haunt a group of unsuspecting artists, weird detectives who may or may not be part of a profiling unit, and some serious daddy issues. We'll also talk about Candance Cameron Bure, the best Justin Timberlake songs, how to style overalls, and "phertographers" (furtographers?).

The title says it all: this is a movie about time. Once again, we are whisked away from Amityville and taken to California, this time in the form of a clock that apparently belonged to a cannibalistic headmaster before it made its way to Ocean Avenue, where it was picked up by an architect designing a planned community. And this isn't just any clock: it's an EVIL clock, that makes men angry and violent and makes girls dress sexy. We'll try and wrap our heads around how this works, and what the relationship is between the two main adults in the film, which are equally difficult narratives to unravel. We'll also talk about tapestries, a citizen's grounding, ectoplasm colors, and full on ROFLing.

Join us around the (metaphorical) campfire as we tell our own versions of some of our favorite scary stories, with Special Guest, our Mom! Tales include The Pink Sweater, The High Beams, The Clown Statue, Aren't You Glad You Didn't Turn on the Light?, and The Black Velvet Band. Happy Halloween!

After making a detour to California, this movie brings us back to Amityville—but not to the Amityville house that we're all familiar with, to a different house in Amityville, because apparently they're all haunted. The fifth movie in the Amityville Horror franchise features a group of friends who intend to flip a house, only for one of them to maybe probably become possessed by the ghost of a man who maybe probably didn't die in this house. We'll also talk about the werewolves of Jane Eyre, ANTM: Boys in the House, an unknown Alice, and Theo's super cool discman.

With the fourth installment of the Amityville Horror franchise, we leave the house on Ocean Avenue. But don't worry, the spirit of the house comes along with us... in a lamp. Join us as we go all the way across the country to deal with the same things that we've become accustomed to: evil spirits, creepy kids, and, of course, black sludge. We'll also talk about haunted yard sales, telegrams, the hairstyle choices of twelve-year-olds, and Kipper the dog.

Skeptics beware, you're in for a scare! The third installment in the Amityville Horror franchise is all about the inevitable downfall that comes with trying to prove that ghosts aren't real by moving into a haunted house where multiple people have been murdered and scared off. Join us as we learn that how to tell the difference between a scam and the real deal, and a fake ghost and a real ghost (spoiler alert: the real ones are purple and the fake ones are green). We'll also talk about pinky touching, sensory deprivation chambers, the literary cannon, and knock-off ugg slippers.

All we can say regarding the second installment in the Amityville franchise is: yikes. We're going to be honest, this one is testing our commitment to watching franchises all the way through. But we did it! We'll talk about a wide array of things that make us very uncomfortable, but how all of that was worth it to finally find out why the Amityville house was so dirty. We'll also talk about earthquake, potential sister tattoos, unsolicited marital advice, and frothy blood. This episode also features our first listener-submitted haunted house story!

We figured that since everyone has been spending a lot of time cooped up inside their homes, what could be better to cover than a bunch of haunted house movies? We're embarking on the very long journey that is The Amityville Horror franchise, and right off the bat, this one has given us quite a bit to discuss. We'll try and figure out how to feel about our first based-on-a-true-story film, wonder why this house is so filthy, and even tell our own haunted house story. We'll also talk about realtors, boathouses, horror film IP theft, and Pa from Little House on the Prarie.

The summer is winding down—although it hasn't felt like much of a summer—and that means that it's time for the Jaws franchise to wind down as well. We'll discuss some of the major themes of the franchise, including obsession, man vs. nature, and the fear of the unknown. We were also joined by two fantastic guests: Salem Ward Councilor Josh Turiel, who talked about the role of local government in Jaws and beyond, and Jenna Karr, who answered all of the shark-based questions that we have been wondering about throughout the franchise.

Okay, we know this sounds kind of crazy, but here us out: what if a shark—not the shark from before, because that shark's dead, so a different shark—was so mad at Martin Brody that it decided to get revenge by eating his son—even though Martin Brody is already dead, not due to a shark but also maybe kind of due to the concept of a shark—and then felt like that wasn't quite enough, so the shark swam over 1000 miles to the Bahamas so it could eat his OTHER son? Wouldn't that be crazy? Well, that's the plot of this movie. We'll discuss this bizarre revenge plan and try to figure out if any aspect of it makes sense. We'll also talk about island cows, duck boats, the love/infatuation and Edward/Jacob dichotomies, and confronting the sharks.

Amity is out, Seaworld is in. Years after surviving multiple shark attacks on Cape Cod, Michael Brody now lives in Orlando, and works at what just might be the worst possible place he could have chosen: Seaworld. What will they do when a great white shark makes its way into their manmade lagoon and starts eating people? We'll talk about the many poor decisions that characters make in this movie, as well as all of the poor decisions that were made in order to make the movie. We'll also talk about dolphin girls, inappropriate building materials, bad tattoo ideas, and land dancing.

Summer continues with a second cautionary shark tale. You would think that after the first time a shark attacked a small island off of the Cape for days and ate multiple people they might be a bit more concerned about beach safety, but this is a horror movie, so they're definitely not. Except, of course, for chief Martin Brody, who will once again have to take on something that doesn't feel like it could possibly be in his job description. We'll talk a lot about the life and culture of Cape Cod and the behavior of local marine life—two things that we are definitely not experts in, but somehow still have a lot to say about. We'll also talk about sunken ships, becoming a mermaid in The Sims, Zuko the shark, and professional shorts.

It's summertime, which means everyone is heading to the beach! Except maybe they shouldn't be, since we're still in the midst of a pandemic. Because of this, we decided to focus on a franchise that is also about people who shouldn't be on the beach. We'll ask ourselves some serious questions. Is the shark really a villain? Can a town lose money if people go to the beach but don't go in the water? Should a police chief who's afraid of the water really be on a shark-hunting expedition? Who is that helping? We'll also talk about regular beach behavior, people knowing what we ate, city hands, and a manatee's number one predator.

A quick message from Theo and Cordie regarding some of the things that have happened, both nationally and within the horror community, since our last episode. We will be back with our regular episodes next week.

Our time with The Purge franchise has come to an end, even though our time in isolation due to the current pandemic has not. We'll wrap up the franchise by talking about some of the themes that were present throughout the films, and since these themes were much more at the surface than they usually are, you can probably guess what they are. We'll also take a stab at determining whether or not some of the most iconic fictional characters would purge.

Is it the end, or is it just the beginning? The last film in The Purge franchise takes us back to the origins of this annual event, which, unsurprisingly, turns out to be a racist and classist "social experiment" funded by a racist and classist government. We'll see some much more realistic Purge activities, and get some insight into how this whole thing works. We'll also talk about Vanessa Hudgens, licking elbows, quarantine commercials, and how Cordie would run the Purge.

It's time for the purge again, but it's also time for a presidential election! This installment of The Purge franchise focuses on Senator Charlie Roan, who is running against the New Founding Fathers on an anti-purge platform. What could possibly go wrong? We'll talk all about the heavy-handed parallels between the film and what was actually happening in the US when it was released. We'll also talk about the destruction of architecture, holy water, Harmon's crusty lips, and touching things.

It's another minisode where you can play along at home! This time, Cordie quizzes Theo by giving her bad movie descriptions to see if she can guess the film.

The Purge is back and better than ever! Well, not better, but there are certainly more machine guns. This time around we focus on three intertwining stories, with themes of redemption and right vs. wrong. We'll talk a lot more about our feelings on the concept of purging and how we think this would all play out in real life. We will also talk about dumpster bodies, big game hunting, One Direction, and what Malcolm X looked like.

Play along as Cordie tries to guess what different phobias are based on which character from a horror movie experiences them!

If you've been listening to this podcast for awhile, you know that we enjoy a good crossover fic where something totally random gets the horror movie AU treatment. For this minisode, we decided it would be fun to make up a few of our own!

It's time to take on a new franchise, and since we went from people hoarding toilet paper to some politicians genuinely saying that people should die in order to save the economy in the time between recording and publishing the episode, it seems like we chose the right one with The Purge. We'll talk about what happens in the film vs. what we think would happen if the purge was real, and get pretty deep into human nature for a bit. We'll also talk about washing machine theft, which movies have the weirdest masks, and people with no top lip.

For this episode, we played a special version of MASH to help determine what would happen to Cordie if she was in a horror movie. 

We know that things are a bit tough right now, so we're going to be recording some mini-episodes throughout this time of social distancing/quarantine. As our lives are somewhat up in the air right now, the timing will probably be a bit random, so keep an eye out! It will be a fun chance for us to talk about stuff we don't usually have time for on the show, play some games, and make each other (and hopefully you) laugh. In this one we will discuss what a horror movie written about our lives would be like.

It's time to wrap up the Candyman franchise! We'll discuss the inspiration for Candyman as well as some of the major themes we saw across these three movies, including history and legends, the importance of place, and legacies. We'll also have local horror icon Brandon Clarke and beekeepers Annette and Mike to share their perspectives on the franchise.