Now, Back To Me! with Denice Bourbon

It all began on a pre-corona spring evening where Denice went through yet another post-performance panic, hyperventilating between the sips of French rosé. "How do other people do this?? Am I the only one rolling around in this mud of self-doubt and imposter syndrome? Will this ever end??" 27 months and 30 Podcasts later Philipp the Producer and the Queen of unnecessary agony sat down with a bottle of pink sparkling wine and did some nostalgia reminiscing on this beautiful journey they've been on together since early 2019. Because they've reached the end, dear friends. Through all the inspirational conversations with all these amazing people, Denice is pretty much cured from all those fears and insecurities that are such classic symptoms of how fucked up patriarchy and capitalism is. It's been a great ride. Thank you all ❤

It‘s not everyday that a wannabe diva like Denice Bourbon gets to sit down with a real life bonafide opera singer. And when you are being Divas together you have to drink bubbles, even if it has started to become an old choice of drink for this podcast. Find out how a member of the cool quartet with the kickin‘ name of „Strolling Strings“ in Bismarck, North Dakota found her way to the stages of Vienna and how it happened that her voice found her when she didn‘t even know she was looking for it. Between all the sweet and hilarioius anecdotes Denice learned a lot of new things about opera and how it‘s not as far away from punk rock as one might think. And now you will too!

This special meeting called for Champagne, and although one sip was enough to make this episodes’ guest mildly tipsy, it still was both classy and worth it. The musician, artist, club promoter and producer had finished their latest music video just minutes before Bourbon and Bevanda arrived, but still had time to prepare tiny little sandwiches for everyone to nibble on. And that is just how Duffy is; constantly busy doing something and everything. Denice and Duffy try to meet up once a year to have some deep-talk, and this time the only difference was that they did it on record; to share it with you. Hear the 2 unlikely friends talk about dyke-skills, having big big plans, childhood kidnappings, importance of community, frequencies and find out if Duffy is a peach lover or a nectarine fan.

Denice was a bit overly talkative and excited on this rainy evening in March in her kitchen when she met the brilliant musician and producer Veronica, who you all know by the name of Farce. The recording had to be made in Casa Bourbon because of an insecure cat that the electronic music master and her partner newly adopted, which gave Denice the possibility to really go all in with the coffee brewing, coffee being the beverage of choice for this episodes guest. Enjoy Vienna’s new Lesbian Yoda share her thoughts and tricks on how to navigate through life and work, especially if you are fighting mental illnesses and challenges, and try to blend out the parts of Bourbon that get just a little bit too intense.

Making cocktails is not Denice Bourbon’s strong side, too much stuff and too much work. So she did her best to pretend to forget that her guest loves a good Negroni and packed a bag full of Aperol and Prosecco instead, because, also Italian, also aperitivo but less ingredients and still delicious. A good ol’ classic no-nonsense drink, which fits this episode’s guest perfectly. Meet the marvellous DJ, entrepreneur and founder of many feminist platforms, Therese Terror! Equipped with a sense of motivation that Bourbon wouldn’t know what it was if it spanked her in the butt, the brilliant Therese gives us a little peak into what life is like when you make your plans and ideas actually happen outside your daydreams. Where you’d never say things like “too much stuff & too much work”. And finally you’ll find the answers to questions like “Which electronic music genre is most full of dudey dudes?”, “What do you do when you realise you planned the completely wrong set? Hide and die? and “Who is the mysterious Drum ‘n’ Bass soldier?”

Almost a decade ago, an intimidated and starstruck Denice bought a playback track for a bottle of fine Vodka from the by far coolest piano player in Vienna. Years later they find themselves in the same show (SODOM VIENNA – DIE REVUE) as well as sharing the same love for their favourite aperitivo; Averna with a lot of sour. Meet Elise Mory; the fascinating super talent who makes you question what a coincidence really is. Do we make choices, or are we chosen by circumstances? And how is it really to be part of a left-leaning, and still so very white, alternative/punk scene as a woman of colour? And are all the things we always thought about a proper jazz audience true?

We're back, darlings!! After some real struggle with motivation and a desperate search for the angel of inspiration, Denice got a text in mid January from Philipp the Producer that said; "what about Faris as a guest?" to which she yelled out into the world "YES!! They is the one!!!" With a bag full of italian lemon soda and pink prosecco they entered the TürkisRosaLila Villa to meet with the beyond fabulous Faris Cuchi Gezahegn to talk about activism, strategies and the origin of christianity. Denice found new ways on how to deal with imposter syndrome and the best ways to confront hypocritical homo- and transphobia. And as always with Faris; all of this being deep and profound avec sass and glitter!

Denice Bourbon yet again packed a bottle of wine and finally left her backyard for a visit to Dutzi, her decade long stage partner at the mother of queer clubs in Vienna 'Gender Crash' which will say good bye forever on October 17 with a covid-secure last night of performances and party. Wanting to try a new approach to the podcast by leaving the same old questions at home, Bourbon ended up learning how little she knows about wine, the 'Velvet Rage' and how the reason for Dutzi ditching dragqueendom is much less dramatic than she thought. Them announcing the song at the end floated away on the stream of bloodred wine; so here it is in writing: “shave” from the most legendary queer band in Vienna: POP:SCH

In German! Auf Deutsch! For the last summertime podcast Denice got 3 different type of drinks, all symbolising a different part of her guest's intriguing personality. Listen to the 'Legends of Entertainment' – colleagues reminisce and rant about crustpunks, the good/bad old days and find out why the artist, author and entertainment genius Stefanie Sargnagel isn't having it with the imposter syndrome-thing.

Some people just know how to enjoy life to the fullest, and their ability to put some diamond dust on the tiniest everyday life things should be an inspiration to us all! When Denice invited the bona fide film journalist Julia over for some Prosecco in her garden, she had no idea in what direction their conversation would go. It turned out that smelling good and accepting death are truly the best ways to overcome your fears and insecurities!

Meet the brilliant artist and filmmaker to whom Denice Bourbon owes her career! If it wouldn't have been for this glorious Diva Fatale, Bourbon would probably never have had the guts to leave her band-comfort zone to discover all the other fun things you can do on stage. Drinking both Red and Rosé on this warm summer night, Katrina and Denice talked about all things scary on stage in their own charming German/English mishmash.

Being hardcore feminist in a boys' club environment, Jewish in a still antisemitic Vienna, having one foot in the (high) art world and the other in stand up comedy, experimenting with the rules of rap in KLITCLIQUE; so many exhausting dudes, so many challenges, so much to talk about! It was a very hungover-broken Bourbon who entered the home of the extraordinary artist, rapper, talk show host and comedian for a late night recording, and a fit, happy and very inspired Denice who left without even having finished her rasberry radler.

Denice Bourbon packed enough Prosecco to knock out an army of fabulous queens and went to visit the amazing actor Nancy Mensah-Offei in her gorgeous flat for a long talk about fencing, stage bloopers, supporting mothers and what it's like when you're constantly expected to do (unpaid) political educational work alongside the already challenging and exhausting craft of acting.

Before Denice got back on her own podcast horse, she met with the amazingly charming Christopher Wurmdobler for his podcast ''Ganz Wien'' to talk about the meaning of Pride. The main guests were the organisers of Vienna's own 2020 Window Parade, the badasses Lisa Holzinger and Inés Bacher, who told us about the idea behind the alternative to the regular pride parade. The episode is in German and the next regular ''Now Back To Me'' will find its way to your ears very soon!!

How do you stay cool when you meet your idols? Denice talked to her favourite queer music journalist and radio voice about how to deal with dudes with megalomania and about what to do when you think you reached all your goals at the tender age of 21. Meet the guy behind Vienna's most wonderfully infectious laugh, Christian Pausch, and find out what happens when the person who usually calls the shots become the interviewee.

Sweets but no Orgasms on Premiere day! Denice Bourbon watched the amazing dancer, performance artist and choreographer drink healthy detoxing tea while she herself drowned in a sea of beer while talking about how to trick your body and mind into not getting caught in an adrenaline craze those crucial moments before curtain call. And how Teresa thought she invented a cocktail all by herself called slutty bliss to get through the lockdown and forgot to mention the co-creator Elena Schmidt. Because that is what a Slutty Bliss is all about, just like in arts; credit your co-creators!!

Denice Bourbon finally got over her fear of gadgets, apps and online conversations, so she decided to call her old friend Ed in Berlin, who is an amazing performer and activist. Whether it's a shot of espresso, a beer or just getting pumped up on anger, whether it's on stage, in a workshop or online; the stage fright is still there, we all have different ways of dealing with it, and Ed is no exception. And of course the topic of COVID -19 came up towards the end and Ed delivered some extremely important thoughts and inputs on how it is when the system is trying to put the entire responsibility on the individual to cover up it's own failures and greed.

On Saturday morning Denice slowly strolled over to her comedy colleague Josef's place for a Mimosas and Cigarettes breakfast and to talk about what to do in times like these. To show some creativity, they switcharooed; Josef took Denice's place in hosting the podcast and asked her the things you all (don't really) want to know. The more mimosas, the wilder the plans! Who knows, you might be listening to Austria's next evening show hosts!

Denice Bourbon met the rapper, writer and activist shortly before her last concert ever in Vienna as 'Sookee'. They drank lavender soft drinks and talked about home-made pressure, quantity obsessions and working in the field(s). Denice learned a few new things about how to curse properly and Sookee shared her tips & tricks on how to deal with stage fright.

Denice brought Marie-Louise Lehner a big bag of oranges and made her some juice while talking to the author, filmmaker and musician about performing your profession and the different codes of conduct in those fields. Where do you go when you have reached so many goals at an early age? And how can you turn off that critical voice demon in your head that keeps you up at night after a performance?

Denice thought that she already knew everything about her PCCC* co-boss, but after 1 bottle of white wine, several anecdotes and one of the worst gay cliché impersonations she'd ever heard, she realised yet again just how full of surprises her colleague is.

Denice Bourbon picked up some cake instead of booze and visited the badass filmmaker in her kitchen where they of course ended up having Sunday afternoon Camparis with their coffee. Denice was a bit rusty after the long break but 25 minutes, 5 cigarettes, 3 pieces of cake and 2 apertivios in she got her rhythm back and ended up co-directing the best photo shoot idea ever involving Haneke, Seidl and some friendly smiles for the camera.

Denice Bourbon finally had an evening without alcohol when she met the brilliant musician Mira Lu Kovacs in her flat on the 4th floor. They talked about letting go of control and how the key to getting better is to truly love your mistakes. They reminded one another that perfection doesn’t make you happy.

Denice Bourbon packed a bottle of dramatic Italian wine and went to the amazing dancer’s home to talk and laugh about fears, pressures and a long forgotten dildo exchange. It turns out that a „failed“ performance isn’t the end of the world and you can grow forests in many different ways and places. Please consider supporting this podcast. It’s cheap, it’s easy: https://steadyhq.com/de/nowbacktome

Denice met with her old friend Clara over a beer to discuss growing up, (not) knowing what the hell you're doing and chickens.

(Denice laughs a lot and speaks funny German on this episode. Next time we're back in English again!) Über notwendige Nervosität, flirten mit dem Publikum und weiße Zärtlichkeit. Das du durch Nein sagen zu dem wirst was du bist erzählt Esra Özmen bei Çay und urviel Pistazien.

The sparkling wine was flowing when Denice Bourbon visited the badass lesbian politician in one of her homes (her office) in Vienna city hall to talk about the importance of resilience and how there's no need for imposter syndrome since everybody is bullshitting anyways.

Denice Bourbon entered the garden of Engel with a bottle of Rosé in her hand, hoping to learn more about the hidden fears of Vienna's mayor of fun. They ended up talking about hierarchies, the importance of crews and how all stars shine equally bright. They smoothly avoided the topic of lesbian sex.

Denice Bourbon met with the kickass musician and general multi genius Ana Threat over bottles of Club Mate to talk about life and doubts. When punk rock divas get older, how do we avoid being pushed into invisibility?

Denice Bourbon brought a bottle of heavy red wine to Veza Fernandez's house and had an intense conversation about post-performance depressions and the art of making sex with words.

Horse Racing, Panicking Mermaids and Sticky Popcorn. Denice Bourbon and Stefanie Sourial talk about being misread by the audience and bad performance ideas over a bottle of French Rosé.