Radical Civility

How are church-sponsored schools doing on sexual assault? Jacob Mayberry joins me to look at the data, ask what the limitations of the data are, and what lessons we can learn. Disclaimer: This episode deals with difficult topics. While we feel it is an important conversation to have, it may not be suitable for some ears. #churchschools #byu #civility #discussion

General conference is one of my favorite things in life, and this time was particularly important to me. Messages about Jesus, faith, Easter, and holy week, but this time a further message about how the disciple of Christ has an obligation to be a peacemaker. I loved it. Not just civility, something deeper: the call to peacemaking. I suspect we'll talk more about it in coming episodes, so for now, a highlights reel. Almost in F - Tranquillity by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100394 Artist: http://incompetech.com/

I sit down with Carl Cranney and Christopher Cunningham to talk about white christian nationalism, which is making the rounds in the news. We discuss what the Latter-day Saint response should be to the phenomenon, and how we're really doing on things. We also talk about two recent articles, one by Christopher in Public Square Magazine, and another by Dr. Taylor Petrey in The Salt Lake Tribune.

"I sit down with Carl Cranney and Liz Busby from Pop Culture on the Apricot Tree in this (ambitious!) crossover episode to discuss an episode of Netflix's dystopian technology show Black Mirror. We had a blast talking through the Black Mirror episode "Hated in the Nation." The discussion focuses on social media, and how it encourages bad behavior. We also talk about how we can resist the pull of cruelty and the "epistemology of hell" that drives the attention economy."

Tired of our current tax structure? I visit with my friend Joseph Addington about Georgism. We nerd out over what it is, what problems it could solve, and possible areas of application. Or watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/rBG3cUPluIA Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Radical-Civility-102031914734570 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radical_civility/ Twitter: @CivilityRadical Check out our patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility

I discuss President Biden's recent student loan forgiveness policy with a good friend, Dallin Crump. We uncover the ins and outs of the policy, the implications it has, and other potential solutions to the deeper issue. Or watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/UbQP4j2xw7U Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Radical-Civility-102031914734570 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radical_civility/ Twitter: @CivilityRadical Check out our patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility

Content Warning: This episode discusses sexual abuse. I sit down with my friend, CD Cunningham to discuss his recent article regarding the associated press article about a case of abuse. We talk about the options for policies and the pros and cons of each option. It seems too often people rush, with their heart in the right place, to conclusions. When it comes to something so tragic, perhaps taking some time to think allows greater clarity. I learned some things in this episode, and I hope you do, too. Or watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/E9AG6sMDMbg Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Radical-Civility-102031914734570 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radical_civility/ Twitter: @CivilityRadical Check out our patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility

Content Warning: This episode discusses sexual abuse. Jennifer Roach is a friend, and also a therapist and clerical abuse survivor. When I read the recent AP article about a case of abuse, I knew that it was something I needed to learn about and understand better. My goal on the podcast has always been to tackle hard issues well. This is among the hardest I've tackled. I think it's good to think through and process--espcially if there are things we can do to make things safer. If you are looking for an apologetic, this probably isn't it. At the same time, if you're looking for a condemnation, this isn't it either. In fact, one of the things I'm frustrated by is that everyone has focused more on validating their own private narrative rather than keeping their focus on the victims in this case, and how to keep them safe. That doesn't mean I don't have bias: I'm a faithful and unapologetic member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I love my church tremendously. You'll feel that come through. Ultimately, though, my primary goal is to talk about hard issues well.

I get together with my friends Thomas Stringham and Meagan Kohler to discuss their opinions on the the sexual revolution and what role men play in teaching men proper sexual ethics Or watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ZtqOrNqs-jM Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Radical-Civility-102031914734570 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radical_civility/ Twitter: @CivilityRadical Check out our patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility

I get together with some friends to discuss Brad Wilcox's recent comments--and the strong response they received. We talk about intent and circumstances, but also the reason the comments were hard for so many. Note: we tried to get this right. I guarantee we didn't manage perfectly. A group of thoughtful people talking it out helped me though. There were some really good moments and insights, and if nothing else, I think we modeled what it looks like to grapple with something hard in as faithful a way as possible. That sounds me as worth doing. Or watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/eHXlQ_oRYnA Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Radical-Civility-102031914734570 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radical_civility/ Twitter: @CivilityRadical Check out our patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility

I sit down with Dan Ellsworth and a couple other friends (Meagan Kohler and Jeff Bennion) to discuss his article on "Exploring Conservative and Liberal Religion". Or listen on Youtube: https://youtu.be/YVIxln7whyw Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Radical-Civility-102031914734570 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radical_civility/ Twitter: @CivilityRadical Check out our patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility

Why is the trust declining in today's society and how does forgiveness factor into the solution? In this quick episode, Ben shares his thoughts and insights into these two important questions. Or listen on Youtube: https://youtu.be/gMdscwS9OfE Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Radical-Civility-102031914734570 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radical_civility/ Twitter: @CivilityRadical Check out our patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility

I sit with several of my Public Square friends to discuss their recent articles discussing some of the accuracies, and inaccuracies, of common assumptions about Utah. Or listen on Youtube: https://youtu.be/HZZtTGErKeo Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Radical-Civility-102031914734570 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radical_civility/ Twitter: @CivilityRadical Check out our patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility

I sit down with several friends to discuss Texas's recent abortion law. We break down the common stances, how to maintain a civil dialogue about difficult topics, and the details of the new legislation. Or listen on Youtube: https://youtu.be/cPJK17Tw5Vk Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Radical-Civility-102031914734570 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radical_civility/ Twitter: @CivilityRadical Check out our patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility

I sit down with several friends to discuss Texas's recent abortion law. We break down the common stances, how to maintain a civil dialogue about difficult topics, and the details of the new legislation. Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Radical-Civility-102031914734570 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radical_civility/ Twitter: @CivilityRadical Check out our patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility

I sit down with a couple great friends to dive into our favorite talks, lessons, and miracles from General Conference! It was a great time of personal reflection, and the presence of the Spirit taught all of us. What were your favorite talks? Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Radical-Civility-102031914734570 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radical_civility/ Twitter: @CivilityRadical Check out our patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility Watch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/vJmaJJSEzqg

I'm excited about this interview, friends. I sit down with Marian Edmonds-Allen to discuss her recent article about "covenantal pluralism" which she believes (as I now do too) can heal many of the divides in our country, including and especially the LGBTQ+ and faith divide. We talk about her history and background, how religious freedom and LGBTQ+ rights can bolster each other rather than threaten each other, and about what covenental pluralism is. Not only did I learn from her, I also now count her a fast friend. I think you'll enjoy the interview. Subscribe on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiVblqPv8HIAJxe-qDdXvDQ Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Radical-Civility-102031914734570 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radical_civility/ Twitter: @CivilityRadical Check out our patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility

I sit down with Greg Matsen of the Cwic show to talk about Elder Holland's recent BYU address. We cover politics, critical race theory, religion, and my own personal rants about good teaching and tenure policy. It was fun to agree--and disagree-with someone thoughtful. Have thoughts? Now it's your turn. Comment below. Also, check out our Patreon page here https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility and consider leaving a review for us here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/radical-civility/id1500513156.

A bit of personal news. My podcast has somehow changed from "five listeners, three of whom are my mom" to a real podcast. Someone showed it to the good people at Public Square Magazine, and they've asked to partner with me. That's pretty exciting for someone who is a total amateur. I'm honored and excited to work with people who have become my genuine friends. I don't know what I'm doing, still. I have no idea how to podcast, and I'll probably get some things wrong. But the paradox of civility is that decent people hold back, and keep quiet because they don't want to say anything wrong. This leaves the world in a worse place. I'm not perfect--I'm not even sure I'm all that good. But I'm trying, and that's something. Also, we're now launching a Patreon page. We're aiming to begin building a community of supporters who believe in the cause of civility. If you believe in what we're doing, your support would be most welcome. (Especially for Nick, who is really really hoping that we get some supporters so I can keep him on the job!) YouTube link: https://youtu.be/7uD25hHbtTg Anchor link: https://anchor.fm/radicalcivility/episodes/The-Paradox-of-Civility-e171n9v Patreon link: https://www.patreon.com/radicalcivility God bless all, and be well. Ben

Jeffrey R. Holland is a senior church leader in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In addition, he is the chairman of the executive committee of the church board of commissioners, and a former president of BYU. He recently gave a talk that has since become highly controversial. I'm an alum of BYU, and wanted to discuss more with thoughtful friends. Now, you should note just how tricky a topic this is. It's sensitive and difficult, and I guarantee we didn't handle it perfectly--but we tried to engage honestly, and that's a start. And I think we add a bit of signal (not just noise) to the conversation. From my background as a school administrator, I saw this more in terms of "we need to do better" than perhaps any other thing--in teaching, in research, and in the basic functions of the university. There have been numerous talks in recent years that have addressed this plainly, and I felt that it's impossible to understand this talk outside the context of the others. Even if you don't agree, I hope you get something from it. And also, I hope that this crowds out the less thoughtful voices out there who share my take. A number of articles are cited in our discussion, which I've included here. The most important, however, is Elder Holland's address itself: https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/elder-jeffrey-r-holland-2021-byu-university-conference After Elder Holland's talk, Tad Walch penned the following article: "The news people misssed in Elder Holland's BYU talk." Part of our hope in this podcast was to bring it back to these things, without taking attention away from other things. https://www.deseret.com/2021/8/26/22639600/churchbeat-newsletter-lds-mormon-church-elder-holland-byu-talk-missed-news-clark-gilbert The first bit of context is then-Elder Oaks' talk in which he first mentions musket fire language, and also asks teachers to be better teachers. https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/dallin-h-oaks/challenges-mission-brigham-young-university/ Then there is the talk by Elder Bednar specifically addressing humility and meekness. When I read it, it felt like a kind, loving, but very direct rebuke. https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/david-a-bednar/walk-meekness-spirit/ Then there is Elder Holland's address to the Maxwell Institute. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpUN29orJmM Finally, the Second Century Address by Spencer W. Kimball. https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1829&context=byusq Taken together, I believe that the focus of these talks is that BYU has a unique mission, and that to fulfill that mission will require total unity and a commitment to excellence like we've never before sesen. BYU will not look like any other university--which will allow it to bless lives like no other university. Hope you enjoy the podcast. Would love to hear you engage below.

What is informed consent when it comes to religions? How do you know if someone is consenting for themselves or doing it for social pressure or parental approval? This is an interesting--and sticky--issue. I sit down with Dan Ellsworth and Leo Winegar to talk through in depth. Note: this is a little longer than normal because we wanted it to be thorough and open-ended. We tried to address it as thoughtfully and earnestly as we could. Would love to hear your thoughts. Comment below. See here for the original article: https://publicsquaremag.org/dialogue/persuasion/the-seductive-deception-of-informed-consent/

Recently, Elder Tad Callister--an emeritus general leader of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints--released the following essay on the importance of families to society. https://www.thechurchnews.com/living-faith/2021-05-22/tad-callister-fence-cliff-ambulance-strong-families-213923 As you can imagine, Twitter handled everything with thoughtfulness and grace (sarcasm there, in case you missed it). Some were offended, others were offended at the offense, and things deteriorated quickly. The editor of the outlet (The Church News edited by Sarah Jane Weaver) was also attacked by both left (how dare you allow this to be published!) and right (why aren't you defending Callister's remarks more forcefully? Why do you capitulate to the left?!) By the way, for a good response to the controversy surrounding Sarah Jane Weaver, see here: https://publicsquaremag.org/uncategorized/the-mobs-come-from-both-sides/ I decided to dive into this issue with some friends of mine. It ended up being me and a bunch of fellow-dads, and we eventually got around to talking about families and fatherhood. Our goal was simply to discuss the matter from our perspective: no counterpunches. No picking fights. Just our take on what happened. My genuine hope is that between extremes there can be a thoughtful take that people can resonate with. By the way, if you disagree, that's great. Let us know. Engage with us. Debate and discuss.

Are Bow-Ties pretentious? Who is the least civil person on Twitter? What is the hippo scale? Fungus or dry skin? I talk about all of the above, and then basically explain that I told you so--that the death of civility has caused a good chunk of our problems, and that the solution is to live back up to the principles that we always knew we should. In particular: 1) Accountability is a must. Personal responsibility is the old-conservative way. 2) Basic kindness is still the best antidote. 3) We must actively truth-tell, and never believe our own deceptions. Also, don't disagree less, disagree better. Link to Adam Kinzinger's new page: https://www.country1st.com Post-Register Editorial: "This is not Personal Responsibility." https://www.postregister.com/opinion/editorials/this-is-not-personal-responsibility/article_b582816f-be00-585e-8852-f6a410b423d2.html Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmiIlIH-kEE

Just before the election, I sit down with a good friend of mine to ask how faith influences politics. We focus on civility, and avoid talking directly about candidates--Jason is in the military, and we tried pretty hard to live up to his promises not to speak against any members of the sitting government. But we still had a thoughtful, interesting discussion. How does yours influence yours? (No wrong answers here--and 'worldview' counts too, or ethics, etc.)

There is something even more conservative than voting conservative: Upholding the peaceful transition of power. If you are a conservative who is planning to vote for the incumbent, I disagree with you. I find him insufficiently conservative. But I hope you'll join me in this: if the president wins, I'll do all I can to protect his legal right to serve as president. And if he loses, I'll do the same for his opponent.

I hesitate to post this one, but I have decided it's important to discuss. Most of the people I know who are involved in large-scale social movements are good people who care a lot about making the world better. But there are bad actors out there who are trying to radicalize and stir the pot.

Hi world, We're finally moved in enough that I got back to podcasting. Still having a blast. (Also, we now have a yard, a kitchen table, and a WASHER AND DRYER!! *sings exultantly*) (But really, our washer and dryer is a highlight of this new life of ours.) Anywho, I made another thing--it's a conversation about the conversation: why is everything politicizied? Why is the whole world angry about even non-important issues? The answer, in part, has something to do with Steve Bannon and Andrew Breitbart. I'll mostly post at the podcast's page, but figured I'd give a shout since it's been a while. (Also, note: I'm having some trouble with the Anchor platform, so it's only on YouTube right now--hope to fix that soon.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHo47vx8_S4&feature=youtu.be Last but not least, thanks all. It's a good world when you have good friends, and I feel pretty well blessed beyond measure in that regard.

I've been excited about this one: My friend Chance Hammock wants to tell you about state flags, and Utah's seal-on-a-bedsheet in particular. He's an amateur vexillologist who wants people to know that the Utah State Flag is great--as a state seal. Flags are meant to be something different--easy to recognize, easy to fly, and easy to show off. Warning: this episode is probably better viewed on YouTube, since Chance walks me through some examples. If you want to know more about what he's doing, look up @utahflag on twitter. Chance is also a realtor with Coldwell Banker Realty in Utah, so feel free to check out chancehammock.com Roman Mars TED: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnv5iKB2hl4&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR2vkHfSjctQJkg_xjfEVBx7e8-KD3o-Vbi7kOPhj2REESjBIBDO1p3mSDE

I'm at ten episodes, so now it's time to reflect on what I really want this podcast to be about. I'm not sure what I want it to be. But I know I don't want it to be Upworthy. No intention of offending, but I do want to be honest about what I see them doing that I want to avoid, and how we want to be different.

There are three things to think about here: 1) Monetize your Anger. 2) Deal with the rest in a healthy way. 3) Don't excuse yourself on small things. The link to Professor Caplan's "Monetize Your Anger" blog post: https://www.econlib.org/monetize-your-anger/ Apologies that there is a bit of hiss. I'll try to figure out what's going on later.

Two content warnings today: 1) I'm not a therapist. You probably shouldn't listen to any of my advice. You've been warned. 2) I talk about grief, including loss, in this episode. Why still discuss? Because everything I do is aimed at starting helpful conversations. I hardly think that I'm the one with the answers, but I'm always better off when people tell me what some good answers are. These are the things that have worked for me. Now tell me about the things that are working for you! I hope you find it helpful. Really. To discuss more, join us in the laboratorium. https://www.facebook.com/groups/196041658160585/ The Deseret News articles that I cite: https://www.deseret.com/indepth/2020/3/22/21184773/coronavirus-covid-19-immune-system-pandemic-health-sleep-meditation-stress-boost-laugh-food-exercise https://www.deseret.com/indepth/2020/3/19/21182006/random-acts-of-coronavirus-kindness-covid-19-toilet-paper-empathy-price-gouging https://www.deseret.com/indepth/2020/3/21/21185467/coronavirus-utah-covid-19-spring-break-morals-ethics-social-distancing https://www.deseret.com/sports/2020/3/21/21189102/vivint-arena-employees-to-receive-financial-relief-from-miller-family-utah-jazz-rudy-gobert https://www.deseret.com/indepth/2020/3/19/21183615/coronavirus-utah-covid-19-quarantine-staying-home-books-cooking-creativity-social-distancing-kondo

Is it possible to save money during a crisis? Yes--and we'll talk about how. My friend Justin Garritt is starting up a new firm www.garrittfinancialsolutions.com all about helping service-industry folks get high-quality, high-integrity, high-transparency help on financial decision-making. We also talk about working together, old stories of students, and how not all financial advisers (cough cough insurance salesmen cough cough) have your best interests at heart. We also talk about how this crisis will look in six months. Note: we talk about some generic teacher advice in this video that may not apply to everyone. There simply isn't a way to sensitively handle such a big topic with any nuance in a 45 minute podcast. If you would like to discuss further, however, head over to the laboratorium! https://www.facebook.com/groups/196041658160585/

You know that viral video of Jennifer Lawrence? A friend asked me for my take on it. Here it is. Note: You might want to watch this on youtube, as there's a lot of graphics here. If not, you'll still get a broad sense of what's going on. You should also watch both ads before listening if you want to have some context. Gil Fulbright ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz_V4lRdtjo Jennifer Lawrence full ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz_V4lRdtjo Don't forget to discuss in the laboratorium: https://www.facebook.com/groups/196041658160585/

Commandment 2: Above all, Grace. Grace as Triage. After publishing, the thought occurred to me of another quote that I should have left in. I'm using grace in a non-religious way here, so forgive me for muddying the waters with a religious quote, but it still applies quite nicely: "It is by grace that we are saved after all we can do." This episode is about doing all that is in your power, and being comfortable with the idea that you can't do it all. Do what you can, no more, no less. Spoon theory: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory (Or just google spoon theory.) Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/196041658160585/

What kills thousands of Americans each year, has a powerful lobby defending it, and is something that has a long history of political controversy around being banned? I'm not talking about guns. Today's episode is about being a social moderate: a societal libertarian, and a personal conservative. Take a listen, and let me know what you think by joining the facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/196041658160585/

Grace is a pretty big concept, so I'm trying to break it down: today's episode is about having good will and assuming good will from others.

A fun game: what would it take for you to vote for someone that you really, really don't like? I did it for Senator Sanders, and the President deserves a turn. Fun times: I tried to keep this one short. Still made it to 20 minutes. *shrugs*

What's the first commandment of radical civility? Radical civility. Obviously. Civility is about engaging. That's what it is built for. This podcast is about how.

So a friend asked a question, and all of a sudden this episode happened. *ashamed face* Also, it's 20 minutes, which is four times longer than I want these to be. Alas. But the question is a good one: why won't I consider voting for Sanders given that I so deeply oppose Trump? Rather than respond directly, I consider what it would take for Sanders to convince me to vote for him. It's possible, just not likely.

In my first nickelodeon, I talk about coining a new term: motivated scrutiny. Have you ever had people compare two identical resumes but fault-find with one and leave the other alone? The ask: find something that you disagree with, and comment about it. On Facebook, YouTube, wherever you feel like it. Do it civilly (obvs) but engage in something that I say that you'd like to correct.

Why start a podcast? Why Civility? What is civility? Why does it matter? A Micro-cast on the topic with a free Sister Act reference. :)