Podcasts about donor sibling registry

Wendy Kramer is the Co-Founder of the Donor Sibling Registry which was formed in 2000 because there was a gap in the market that was starting to emerge and curious people were seeking answers or seeking connections. She was that parent back in a time when doctors told their patients to lie about their child's origin to go against the grain. Transparency was key in her mind and her son Ryan first asked about his origin at the age of 2 which set the ball rolling on how she was going to prepare for this road ahead. Over the past 2 decades, Wendy has dedicated her life to donor-conceived people, she shares her stories and the studies that have taken place within her 89,000 community, and she continues to produce educational resources in a working week that consists of 70 hours plus. In this episode, she shares her vast array of knowledge and shares her thoughts on where the sperm banks are failing us. For more information about Wendy Kramer and the Donor Sibling Registry visit this episode's link. https://ivfdonationworld.com/episode-69-the-donor-sibling-registry/

The Donor Conception Conversations Podcast is here!  Watch every Monday on YouTube or listen, subscribe, rate, and review wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.  In this episode of donor conception conversations, our guest, Wendy Kramer, will bust donor conception myths and teach you about connecting with donors and donor siblings (and how it doesn't have to be scary).  She is the founder of the Donor Sibling Registry and has single-handedly moved the needle on disclosure and donor conception openness.   If you are interested in any of the topics discussed in this episode... Subscribe to the YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@thecenterforfamilybuilding You can also find me and lots of great resources at https://familybuilding.net/ Join our community, We would love to have you. https://familybuilding.net/newsletter-sign-up/ Follow me here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecenterforfamilybuilding/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecenterforfamilybuilding/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/FamilyBuild TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@familybuildingcenter Looking for My Lifebook? https://a.co/d/deSACrM   Transcript: (disclaimer: may contain unintentionally inaccurate, confusing, and/or amusing transcription errors)   Wendy: All of these parents, all of these contributors make a child who they are. Right. So when you realize that, then inviting in the rest of the contributors that you might not know, it's not threatening. They're not going to take your place. Your kid isn't going to like them better. You know, or I don't know, maybe they will, because kids like lots of people better than their parents, you know?   Wendy: It's not a real fear. So I think the most important thing for parents to know is that this can be something an enriching thing for families, not a fearful thing. There's really nothing to fear. Nobody wants to come in and be a parent to your kids. And half-siblings are enriching you know, the more people to love your kids, the better.   Lisa: Hi, I am Lisa Shuman and welcome to Donor Conception Conversations. This is a one podcast that will provide research based information, professional guidance and personal experiences about donor conception. This is the one place you can go to if you are a recipient or if you are considering being a recipient. If it's about donor conception, we are going to talk about it.   Lisa: I'm your host, Lisa Shuman. I've been practicing as a therapist for three decades. I've won awards for my research, and I've seen thousands and thousands of donors, recipients and donor conceived children in my workshops at clinics and at my program, the Center for Family Building. I've learned so much over the decades, and I want to share that information with you so you can have a better journey and be more informed as a parent.   Lisa: Today is the first episode, so welcome and I couldn't have a better guest. Wendy Kramer For those of you who don't know Wendy, she's the founder of the Donor Sibling Registry, and she has single handedly changed so much of our understanding about donor conception and changed so many lives by helping people connect with their donors and the donor-related siblings.   Lisa: Her business was born from her personal experience and since its inception, she has witnessed the experiences of thousands of others around the world. Wendy, welcome. Can you provide us with a little bit more of an introduction and tell us how the Donor Sibling Registry came to be.   Wendy: Surely. So first, thanks for having me. I'm honored to be guest number one. So let's see, the nutshell version of my story is that I was married in the late 1980s. My ex-husband experienced fertility issues, so we used a donor, an unknown person, back in 1989. And in 1990, my son Ryan was born. About a year later, my ex-husband and I split up.   Wendy: He was completely out of the picture. So basically from that time on, I raised my son as an only parent. There was only one book out at the time about donor conception called Lethal Secrets by Annette Barron. And in the book she talked about the importance of being honest with your child. And I had thought that maybe when my son was four, five, six years old, he might start asking.   Wendy: As it happens, he was about he was two and a half years old, came home from preschool and said, so did my dad die or what? And it was then I went, Oh my God, we're having this conversation. And we laid the very important cornerstone conversation of, you know, the sperm and the egg. And it was about a 40 second conversation.   Wendy: Then he went on to ask the next question about choo choo trains. And so basically that was the beginning and it was the cornerstone conversation that we then could build upon as he got older and had more questions then as it would be. My son was a very curious child and by the time he was six years old he was looking at me saying, I want to know who my biological father is.   Wendy: And at that point, I'm thinking, Oh my God, what have I done? What do I do? Like, of course you're curious, you know, and it just I think I was one of those people, and I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this. I was so desperate to be a parent, I really didn't think about anything else but getting pregnant.   Wendy: And I think a lot of doctors and clinics and sperm banks are all so focused on the getting pregnant that the other important stuff, the other important information that you should have to make an informed and educated decision. Those things just fall off the track there. So at that point realized my son had a right to be curious and a right to search for and find his close genetic relatives, his biological father and any half siblings he might have.   Wendy: We basically at that point. So that would have been 1996 or so. We had to wait for social media to be invented. And finally, in 2000, Yahoo! Groups came to be and we started a little Yahoo! Group thinking that maybe we could help him find the answers he was looking for. And then maybe in the process help, you know, maybe one or two families find their half siblings or their biological parents, the donors.   Wendy: And that was the beginning of the DSR in 2000 and now 22 years later, we have almost 84,000 members in more than 100 countries and we've helped to connect almost 24,000 of them with half siblings or donors with their biological children. So it was one of those like build it and they will come kind of things like we didn't know there was a need until we put it out there.   Wendy: And obviously there was a great desire and a need. I think, before we came along. People were never told that they had the right to be curious or the right to search for genetic relatives. This whole industry is so shrouded in secrecy and thereby shame, you know, the shame of infertility, the shame of using a donor. And we kind of busted all that open and said, there's nothing to be ashamed of, especially for donor conceived kids.   Wendy: And it's an innate human desire to want to know where you come from, your ancestry, your medical background, and your close genetic relatives.   Lisa: Mm hmm. It's amazing Wendy amazing. So while we're thinking about that, maybe you can help our audience know a little bit about something else that I think is really important as you're sharing this information about having donor relatives that people get really tripped up about, and I think very few people have the accurate information about and that is the lack of a tracking system here in the US.   Wendy: Well, yeah, I think that myth is perpetuated by the reproductive medicine industry, the sperm banks, the egg clinics, the egg agencies who claim to have limits on the number of kids that can be born for anyone donor. So that's really misleading because if you tell people you have limits, that leads one to believe you have accurate records and you know how many kids are out there.   Wendy: And the truth is that no, nobody has accurate records, even in the egg industry where they claim that SART has all records. Not true, because in our egg donor research, our egg donor parent research, we found that more than 40% of egg donor families were never even asked to report their births. So those numbers are not correct. And we certainly know in the sperm donation industry where now we have many groups of half siblings, over 100 on the DSR or some even over 200.   Wendy: Now those groups are growing and growing and growing that there is no accurate record keeping because that costs money. Whenever you ask in this industry, why is it like this or how come they don't do this or why won't this happen? Always the same answer one word money. It costs money to keep accurate records. It would cost money then to limit the number of offspring.   Wendy: They wouldn't make as much money by selling all that sperm. Yeah. The fallacy is when we promise a number of families, we know in our research too, about a quarter of all sperm donors donate to more than one place. So even if in the future they became they had accurate record keeping, which, you know, I'll believe it when I see it.   Wendy: You know, sperm donors go all over, egg donors do to we have serial sperm donors and egg donors that just go from facility to facility. So for donor conceived people, nobody knows how many half siblings you might have. And I tell this to my son and all donor conceived people every single day for the rest of your life holds the possibility of a half sibling coming along.   Lisa: Yes. And what about also we have all these embryos that have been frozen for decades. Right. And last year, I think there was a child born from a 31 year old embryo and last year a 27 year old embryo. So we have hundreds of thousands of frozen embryos and we don't know how many of them were part of a donor sperm donor egg.   Lisa: And we don't know how many of them will be born now or decades from now. And so it's not really possible to have that information either, right.   Wendy: Well, this is what happens when you have a multi-billion dollar industry with no regulation and no oversight. Right. Like what could possibly go wrong? A lot. But it's because there's no regulation and no oversight. Nobody's watching. Nobody cares to look over this industry. And that is in part because the SRM, the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, keeps it that way.   Wendy: They're big money, they're powerful. They have lobbyists, and they keep any and all regulation record keeping anything that would move this industry into being more responsible or ethical. They put the kibosh on. They do not want anything to change.   Lisa: Well, let's talk about I mean, you know, in terms of the states, I mean, there are a lot of people who are advocating for these states to say we're going to regulate in our state and the states will say, yes, we're going to enact legislation that will allow us to regulate. But it can't be possible because those states cannot enact regulation.   Lisa: How is the state going to be able to do that if there's no way to track donors?   Wendy: Well, exactly. So I guess in that case, I can't say it could never happen. I'll just say I'll believe it when I see it.   Lisa: Right. And so I think the tough part is that there are so many people who get on this bandwagon of the state, or that state is going to enact legislation to track donors. How can they possibly do that? Right. I mean, I'm sure you see a lot of people donating right through Facebook and social media traveling around the world and donating in other countries.   Lisa: Right. And so how are we going to know? How can one state saying, I'm going to track all the donors who have ever been in this state? I don't I don't know how that's possible.   Wendy: Well, it's not possible with the record keeping that exists right now.   Lisa: Right. There's no state to do that. And it is completely.   Wendy: It's not even possible because they don't have the records. You know, this industry has an amazing amount of floods and fires. Floods and fires like you could not believe where so many records have been lost. So it is so common for people to ask for records, either donor conceived people or the donors themselves or parents and the records are there offsite.   Wendy: They're lost. They were ruined in a flood. They had a fire. So there's all the excuses that people get all the time for not having accurate records. But the bottom line is there are no accurate records. So, you know, that's where we are today. Could they become accurate in the future? Sure. They could become accurate at any time.   Wendy: But the industry refuses to put the money and the time into being more ethical and responsible by having accurate records. They just won't do it. It's not like they're unable. Sure, they're able. They just don't do it right.   Lisa: But I see many civilians who say, well, this state I'd like to use a donor from the state because the state is making efforts to enact legislation that would allow them to track records of donors. And I can't see how any one state could do that. No. Yeah. So it's really good for our listeners to understand that don't go to any particular state thinking that that's going to happen in that state because it's it's not possible.   Lisa: Right.   Wendy: It's state and it's also clinic or sperm bank.   Lisa: Right.   Wendy: So the clinics and the sperm banks are going to tell you everything you want to hear so that they can make a sale. Their job is to sell eggs and sell sperm. So if you go on their websites, you'll read a lot of information. That is not true because it's all marketing materials. It's all about making the sale.   Wendy: You know, we have, you know, celebrity lookalike donors. We limit the number of kids to ten or 20 or whatever. And it's it's just none of it is true. It's just all marketing materials.   Lisa: And they can tell their own donors not to donate a certain more than a certain amount of time. But just because they tell the donors doesn't mean the donors are going to do it. As you said, they can go to multiple agencies. They can donate to their friends, they can donate in other countries. So it's really important for our listeners to understand that because they really need to be able to be clear with their children.   Lisa: Which brings me to my next point, which I think you could speak to our audience about, which is about donor related siblings and how it's so important for people to start to understand is hard as it may be to understand that it doesn't have to be scary to start to search if this is something that they feel ready to do.   Wendy: Yeah, I think let's talk about that. But I think to give proper context here, we have to take a step or two back and go, why are the parents in this situation? Right. So why does this industry still mandate and promote the idea of keeping a human being from their close genetic relatives for 18 years? Nowhere in the world, nowhere in history has any society deemed that it is in the best interests of the people to keep them from their close genetic relatives for 18 years.   Wendy: So why is that accepted practice in the sperm and eggs killing industry? I don't well, actually, I do know, again, it's money, right. Because they're going to put more money.   Lisa: Well, we saw the same thing in adoption for many years. And adoption systems saying, you know, tell your children that your parents died in a fiery car crash and, you know, don't ever tell them. And then, of course, those adult adoptees grew up and said, you know, that's not right. And it's kind of we're kind of following the same story.   Lisa: Well, but.   Wendy: We've learned the reproductive medicine industry learned nothing from the world of adoption because they're still doing it. Decades later, they're still doing it. So they're doing it because obviously it makes more money. But the parents are sold this idea along with the gametes, so that we believe keeping our child from their close genetic relatives for 18 years is somehow in their best interests.   Wendy: Right. And the whole thing the whole premise is crazy. So I think that's where we have to start. Like these parents are where they're at when contemplating connecting with donor siblings. They're there because of an industry that has promoted this whacky idea and sold it and made it mandatory that my child could not know his genetic relatives before he turned 18, which is absolutely insane.   Wendy: There is no research that points to that being in anyone's best interest. Most specifically donor conceived people, and quite a lot of research that says it is in the donor conceived child's best interest to grow up knowing their relatives. Right. We don't keep our children from their cousins or their answer uncles or grandparents until they're 18 or until they ask about them.   Wendy: They're the relatives and we introduce them, you know, when they're kids, because that's the right thing to do. So I guess I have to like just throw this question in there. Why is this okay? Why do people just take this as being accepted practice and in the child's best interest when it's obviously not so? So that said, here we are.   Wendy: We now have thousands, millions of people who have donor conceived children, who have these have siblings, other children who were born from the same egg or sperm donors. Right. So I guess let's take one step back now. At the beginning, when you're buying your sperm or your eggs, there's an opportunity for the vendor, the sperm bank or the egg clinic or the agency to properly counsel and educate you on the importance of a child growing up, knowing their close genetic relatives, knowing about their ancestry, knowing about their medical history.   Wendy: But the industry is failing parents and donors with not properly counseling and educating them on the importance of these connections. Because if people were properly counseled and educated at the front door to that clinic, they would not opt for the 18 years of anonymity. They would do what we have now dozens of egg clinics doing, connect the donors and the parents right from pregnancy or birth.   Wendy: Why not? And yet there are still not. One sperm bank will do that, and the majority of egg clinics in the U.S. still won't do that. And we have to ask why, if it's in everybody's best interest to empower parents and donors to be in control of their own relations chip rate from day one and determine the depth and the breadth.   Wendy: Maybe it's just medical sharing. Maybe it's becoming family to one another. But let the people decide that. Not a middleman saying we know what's best for you and your family and that is to keep you apart for 18 years. To me, absolutely insane. But here we are.   Lisa: Well, let me ask you a question. This is something that I've experienced. And you tell me if you've experienced this. So as you I think, you know, I started one of the only open donor programs at a seen inside of a clinic on the East Coast that I know of. And typically, when I talk to parents or parents to be about the possibility of having an open relationship with their donor, and as you said, there's various levels of openness.   Lisa: So there's all sorts of options. Very often they're afraid that that donor is going to be, all of a sudden, a parent to their child. Right. There's like this anxiety. It's about the infertility and the fears and anxieties. But then when I speak with the donors, very often the donors say the same things to me. They say, well, you know, I really don't want to be a parent to this child.   Lisa: And so it's interesting that both of them, in my experience, I see over and over again, feel like they have to kind of be let off the hook for things.   Wendy: Because this is the myth that perpetuates by the reproductive medicine industry. Parents are told, Oh, you need this eight years of anonymity because that donor is going to want to be a parent to your child. And donors are told, Oh, you want this? 18 years of anonymity. Those parents are going to come looking for you for money and they're going to want you to parent their child.   Wendy: In reality, none of those things are true. Where did those people get those fears from? From the industry. So the industry can't wonder why these people feel this way is because these are the myths that the industry perpetuates. And I know I hear from egg donors all the time who say my clinic told me that, you know, parents are likely to come after me, they're going to disrupt my life and invade my privacy.   Wendy: Parents are told that donors are going to want to come in and be a part of your life and parent your child a myth and a myth. But this is the myth that's perpetuated so that the industry can keep the 18 year separation there. And people can think that's in the best interest for them and their children. But it's all myth.   Lisa: And then in reality, what happens and you tell me what happens in your reality. Once I... I break that myth for them and they decide, okay, we're going to meet the recipients are so happy and the donors all of a sudden where they once would have had, let's say, you know, an egg donor is going to have this medical procedure and she knows she's doing something nice for another family.   Lisa: And now she sees the faces of these people whose lives she is changing. And she says, Oh, my God, I feel like this is such greater meaning for me. This feels so much better for me because I see these people. I really feel that I'm helping them. I really feel like I'm helping them heal these wounds and build their family that feel so much better to be able to connect with them so everybody makes out.   Lisa: It's been great for everyone involved, but they are so hesitant in the beginning and so anxious about it. So what are your experiences of recipients and donors after they first meet? What's their experience of saying, you know, how was my first meeting and how is it different than last year?   Wendy: Well, yeah. Let me take one step back and let's talk about what is that hesitation and that fear? What keeps families from not connecting? Right. And most usually what keeps families from not connecting is some kind of fear. Right. And the fear usually is from the non-biological parent, be it the mom, an egg donor family, the dad in a sperm donor family, or the mom in the LGBTQ family.   Wendy: Right. It's the Non-Bio parent that most too often struggles with making these connections because it can feel very threatening to them. These people are that person has a connection with my child that I don't myself have. And if you're not a really confident person and secure in your parenthood, this can seem like a threat. This person is going to come in and usurp me and be insecure and I can't be right.   Wendy: Again, this is all a myth, too. We're not taking away from a family by connecting. We're just adding to. So children need to be taught that who they are is this wonderful blend of nature and nurture. Right? We are who we are because of the parents that raised us and love us and take care of us and the parents that give us our biology.   Wendy: 50% from the egg, 50% from the sperm. That's what makes us who we are. So to minimize any one of those contributors is not fair to a child. It matters who raises them and loves them. But it also matters who gave the DNA, the egg and the sperm. So you can't minimize or negate the importance of any of those parents.   Wendy: So once. Once you realize that all the parents are important, at the same time, one is not knocking the other one out. One is not taking the place of the other. All of these parents, all of these contributors make a child who they are. Right. So when you realize that, then inviting in the rest of the contributors that you might not know, it's not threatening.   Wendy: They're not going to take your place. Your kid isn't going to like them better, you know, or I don't know, maybe they will, because kids like lots of people better than their parents, you know, it's not a real fear. So I think the most important thing for parents to know is that this can be something an enriching thing for families, not a fearful thing.   Wendy: There's really nothing to fear. Nobody wants to come in and be a parent to your kids. And half siblings are enriching. You know, the more people to love your kids, the better. Right. I mean, that's that was my thinking.   Lisa: Who doesn't want different siblings in the ones they have anyway, right?   Wendy: Absolutely.   Lisa: Brother, little sister.   Wendy: Totally. So, you know, and it's like, is there a guarantee you're going to like them? No. I mean, I always tell people, look around your Thanksgiving table. Do you want to hang out with everybody there? No, probably not. You want to hang out and spend time with the people that you're most like minded with. And this is true for connections for the parents who connect their, you know, minor donor conceived kids, for donors who are connecting with adult donor conceived kids, for parents connecting with other parents for everybody.   Wendy: Is there a guarantee you're going to like each other and want to hang out? Nope. But that doesn't make these people any less your child's genetic relatives. And did they have the right to know these people as they're growing up? Absolutely. Why? Why would you keep them from their half siblings? You know, because we have too many people that come to the DSR as adults.   Wendy: They see that their parents joined the DSR years ago but never allowed them to connect and know they're half siblings. And so you get these adult donor conceived people who are like, okay, wait a minute, I could have grown up knowing my half siblings and you didn't let me. Why? And there is no good answer. Except I was afraid.   Wendy: I had fears, I was insecure, I was feeling threatened. You know what I mean?   Lisa: So now we allay those fears. What is your experience with the recipients when they finally meet them? Don't they feel so much better that you know, it wasn't securing after all?   Wendy: That's the same with disclosure. You know, for parents who haven't told, who are about to tell, they're in a state of fear like none I have ever seen before. They are filled with anxiety and panic about the impending telling the child. The truth. And I see that fear and that anxiety with the impending connecting with my donor or connecting with my biological kids, parents or connecting with half sibling families.   Wendy: There's this anxiety that is there that really doesn't need to be there because that's the worst part, is the before. Once the connection happens, oh my God, people are elated and joyful and relieved to and excited about what the future might hold and, you know, it's all completely positive.   Lisa: Yes, absolutely. And I hope that our audience can kind of take heart that that can happen, that they can feel that it's not so scary after all, that once they connect with these donor conceived siblings or the donors, that it won't be this fear that someone's going to come into your life or do things that you don't want them to do that, you know, just like everybody else, like Wendy is saying, you know, there's some people you're going to like, some people you don't.   Lisa: But it's not their normal people. They're average everyday people just like we are. And it's such a nice thing to be able to gift and to give to your children that connects. It really is beautiful.   Wendy: Absolutely. Well, in these groups, some people are really afraid of the large groups of siblings. Right. Like, okay, I could connect with five or seven or ten. You know, I just logged into the DSR and I see that I have 78 half brothers and sisters. Oh, my God, what do I do? Or my child has 78 half brothers and sisters.   Wendy: Oh, my God. They're overwhelmed. They're afraid. What does this mean? Am I going to have, you know, dozens of people knocking on my front door? And no, everybody's extremely respectful. The people who have already connected usually they have like a welcoming committee, you know, of sorts, like they make soft landing pad for the new half siblings that come along these connections happen.   Wendy: Like you as a parent or a donor conceived person or a donor, you are in control of this feed in the depths of how you make these connections. Right. So there's no right way or wrong way. Some people are like, Well, I'll just communicate via donor sibling registry message or email or Facebook for a little bit. Some people are like, Here's my phone number.   Wendy: Let's meet at Starbucks tomorrow, you know, so there's different levels of feeling comfortable again, no right way or wrong way, but it's just important to make the connection for the minimum of sharing and updating medical information because of if you're saying right now, oh, well, my clinic or my sperm bank does regular medical updates, and then they give anyone who's to use that donor updated medical information.   Wendy: That is 100% incorrect information. Most of the time, the only way to get updated medical information is by connecting the donors with the parents, with the donor conceived people. That's how you're going to get medical information, not from your clinic, not from your sperm bank.   Lisa: 100%. I'm with you. And maybe on our next call, we should start talking about that because that is a really, really important topic for people to understand, particularly because, you know, people say, oh, my daughter is healthy. Well, you know, young, young people usually are healthy. But health changes over time. And if you don't know what's happening with your donor conceived siblings or your donor, how will you know?   Lisa: Right. So those are really important pieces of information. And so I hope you come back on again. Wendy, I really love to have you back.   Wendy: Thank you so much for having me. And I can't wait to tackle these issues one by one and help to better educate people.   Lisa: It's wonderful. You're a gift to our industry, Wendy, and thank you so much for coming. And if you want more information, please to go on the Donor Sibling Registry. Is there any information for people to look for?   Wendy: Come to the Donor Sibling Registry or I'm always available. My email is wendy@donorsiblingregistry.com and I'm available seven days a week. If you need any help, just email me. Call me. I'll be in touch.   Lisa: That's great. Well, thank you. And that's such a gift. And I really appreciate it. And I'm sure everybody who's listening appreciates this. And thank you for joining us. If you want more, please subscribe and review and always you can find us on family building dot net. We'd love to have you as part of our community. Thanks so much.

Karens speaks with Wendy Kramer, founder of Donor Sibling Registry, to discuss the abuse of the sperm donation industry and how she's connecting siblings from the same donor through her registry.JOIN KNARRATIVE: https://www.knarrative.comit's the only way to get into #Knubia, where these classes are held live with a live chat.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today we had the incredible experience of meeting Wendy Kramer, the Co-Founder and Director of the Donor Sibling Registry. Wendy shares her personal journey to becoming a single parent to her donor-conceived son, Ryan, and why they decided to found the DSR together in 2000. Wendy explains how the Registry works (it's so easy!) and the importance of ensuring that donors and parents have access to one another. SHE reminds us that there is no such thing as anonymity so honesty and openness with our children is always best. Have a listen, reach out with questions, and stay tuned for many more webinars to come featuring Wendy and her family!

Tim Gullicksen from San Francisco back in 1989 wanted to help families that were in need of a sperm donor and he came across the California Cryobank there was only one obstacle in his path and that was he is gay, Back then and even now gay men are still not allowed to be sperm donors at clinics in the USA. Tim had to pretend he was straight to bypass their screening process in order to help create what he was lead to believe would be a maximum of 10 families, but could be more like 90+ families, he was assigned the donor I.D 1237. Tim knows of over 30 biological offspring tracked down with the assistance of DNA websites and the Donor Sibling Registry but has formed a close connection with 22 of them, and every year they have a meet-up at Bass Lake in California. Tim shares what it's like to live in this reality and how his offspring feel about having as many siblings as they do. A very fun and insightful episode full of interesting information and outlooks for instance can being gay be genetically inherited 5 his offspring identify as queer. What's does Tim's love interests or partners think of him being a donor? Plus lots more and although Tim never set off or imagined to have formed a family from his donations this is now very much a part of his identity. To find out more about this episode and Tim's story visit this episode information page. https://ivfdonationworld.com/episode-38-a-gay-mans-guide-to-forming-a-family/ Follow the podcast on Instagram @SpermDonationWorld

We got some results from the NASA Twin Study and it's teaching us about long term space travel. The study focused on identical twin astronauts Scott and Mark Kelly. Scott spent 340 days in space, while Mark remained on Earth. Comparing their results, NASA found that there were changes to Scott's DNA, genes, body bacteria and more. Claire Maldareli, Associate editor at Popular Science, joins us for what happens to your body when you live in space for a year. Next, Washington has become the first state in the country to legalize human composting. Before, the only acceptable means of disposition of a human body was burial or cremation, now we have “natural organic reduction.” The process involves wood chips, takes about four weeks, and yields about two wheelbarrows worth of soil. Brendan Kiley, reporter for the Seattle Times, joins us for a new alternative to burial or cremation Finally, we speak to Sarah Zhang, writer at the Atlantic, about the sperm donor who has met 17 of his kids. Tim Gullicksen began donating sperm in 1989 and most of his kids are 18-25 years old now. They found him and other siblings through the Donor Sibling Registry and DNA test sites like 23andMe. A new family unit has formed and Sarah helps tell you their story. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

Wendy Kramer is Director of the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR). The DSR is a charity organization, founded in 2000 by Wendy and her donor-conceived son Ryan, to assist individuals conceived as a result of sperm, egg or embryo donation that are seeking to make mutually desired contact with others with whom they share genetic ties. With more than 66,000 members in 105 countries, the DSR has helped to connect more than 17,000 people with their half-siblings and/or their donors. Without any outside support, the DSR has pioneered an international discussion about the donor conception industry and the families, with its research, speaking engagements and media appearances. Wendy has co-authored numerous published papers on donor-conception, has reviewed abstracts for the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, and has been a peer reviewer for the journals Human Reproduction and RBM Online. She was Associate Producer on the Style Network's 2011 Emmy nominated show Sperm Donor and on MTV News & Docs, series Generation Cryo, that aired in December 2013. Wendy and her son Ryan have appeared on 60 Minutes, The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America and many other news shows and publications. Wendy is co-author of the book Finding our Families: A first-of-a-kind Book for Donor Conceived People and Their Families. Listen to Wendy as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Wendy’s backstory and how she got inspired to start the DSR. • What the DSR does and how they help donor conceived people. • Key takeaways from the research they have conducted. • Shifting from anonymous donation to known donation through the DSR. • Common misconceptions of sperm/egg/embryo donations. • How the DSR works and how it protects your personal information. • Accepting your infertility to move forward in being in an open donation. • Unfortunate stories of profits before ethics. • How DNA testing has changed the industry and DSR. • Wendy’s thoughts on how to fix the industry. • Wendy’s advice to those searching for a donor or donor clinic. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about the Donor Sibling Registry: https://www.donorsiblingregistry.com Purchase Wendy’s book, Finding Our Families: A First-of-Its-Kind Book for Donor-Conceived People and Their Families: https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Families-First-Its-Kind-Donor-Conceived/dp/1583335269/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1383854617&sr=1-1 Purchase Wendy’s book, Your Family: A Donor Kid's Story: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0692106936?_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=ur2&tag=storypodca-20&linkId=2P4S6EY6B462X4AR

President Trump warned that Iran “made a very big mistake” after the Iranian Revolutionary Guard shot down and American RQ-4A Global Hawk surveillance drone.  Iran maintains that the drone crossed their airspace, but the US says that is just not true.  Bryan Bender, defense editor at Politico, joins us for more on the drone shoot down and continued tension with Iran. Next, in the aftermath of the shootings in Parkland last year, prosecutors around the country turned to a zero tolerance policy when it came to students who made threats against a school. This even prompted one prosecutor in Texas, to charge 216 students in 3 months.  But now, some are moving away from that because they want to avoid overcharging students in cases that don't turn out to be serious. Dan Frosch, Reporter for the WSJ, joins us for how priorities are changing. Finally, we speak to Sarah Zhang, writer at the Atlantic, about the sperm donor who has met 17 of his kids.  Tim Gullicksen began donating sperm in 1989 and most of his kids are 18-25 years old now.  They found him and other siblings through the Donor Sibling Registry and DNA tests like 23andMe.  A new family unit has formed and Sarah helps tell you their story. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

Last January, a 28 year old donor conceived woman named Ally discovered the truth about her genetic origins after taking an Ancestry DNA test. Just a few weeks later, she started a podcast called Half of Me to process her emotions, and in doing so, she began a journey that has changed her life.You can find Half of Me on every major podcasting platform, and at halfofmepodcast.com//If you have a story about donor conception or nontraditional families that you would like to share, or if you have any questions, contact the show through email at diblingpodcast@gmail.com or on Twitter @diblingpodcast. If you want to leave a voicemail for the show, call (714) 202-6401 and leave a message after the tone. Your voicemail will be featured on the next episode! //Check out my other podcast, The Conservationist Conversationalist, for casual discussion of environmental issues and current events! Available on all major podcasting apps.I host collaborative solves of the New York Times crossword puzzles three times a week on Twitch. If you like crosswords, come hang out! All experience levels welcome! I also play indie games, talk about politics, and occasionally even edit THIS PODCAST live on stream! You can find me at twitch.tv/aidanwould//Art by Charlie Nagelhout, @MarleyCatts//Music from https://filmmusic.io:"District Four" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/diblingpodcast)

You may have heard this story: a person finds out they're donor conceived through a DNA test, and they go to confront their parents and demand an explanation. But what if that person went to their parents, and their parents were also surprised to discover their child was donor conceived? How does that even happen? For more information on Dr. Pancoast's experiment and the historical ethical issues with artificial insemination, check out this article from The Atlantic: "The First Artificial Insemination Was an Ethical Nightmare"//If you have a story about donor conception or nontraditional families that you would like to share, or if you have any questions, contact the show through email at diblingpodcast@gmail.com or on Twitter @diblingpodcast. If you want to leave a voicemail for the show, call (714) 202-6401 and leave a message after the tone. Your voicemail will be featured on the next episode! //Check out my other podcast, The Conservationist Conversationalist, for casual discussion of environmental issues and current events! Available on all major podcasting apps.I host collaborative solves of the New York Times crossword puzzles three times a week on Twitch. If you like crosswords, come hang out! All experience levels welcome! I also play indie games, talk about politics, and occasionally even edit THIS PODCAST live on stream! You can find me at twitch.tv/aidanwould//Art by Charlie Nagelhout, @MarleyCatts//Music from https://filmmusic.io:"District Four" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/diblingpodcast)

Family has always been a touchstone of identity, but how has technology changed our idea of who we consider our family? We now have the ability to communicate with our family in more ways than ever before. In this episode, host Claire L. Evans talks with Chris Mikkelsen of Refunite about how refugees are finding their way back to their families, and Wendy and Ryan Kramer, the mother and son co-founders of the Donor Sibling Registry, who are using technology to challenge traditional notions of what family means.

Catt, a donor conceived woman and mother of four, shares her story of love, connection, and perseverance in an often uncertain family life.//If you have a story about donor conception or nontraditional families that you would like to share, or if you have any questions, contact the show through email at diblingpodcast@gmail.com or on Twitter @diblingpodcast. If you want to leave a voicemail for the show, call (714) 202-6401 and leave a message after the tone. Your voicemail will be featured on the next episode! //Art by Charlie Nagelhout, @MarleyCatts//Music from https://filmmusic.io:"District Four" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/diblingpodcast)

Is it ethical for sperm banks to withhold the identity of donors from families and donor conceived people? Wendy Kramer argues for abolishing the existing system of donor anonymity, and a woman named Lynette shares a story of what can happen when unregulated sperm banks act as a middleman between families and donors.//Links: Donors Not AnonymousWhich Sperm Bank?My Twitch stream - twitch.tv/aidanwould//If you have a story about donor conception or nontraditional families that you would like to share, or if you have any questions, contact the show through email at diblingpodcast@gmail.com or on Twitter @diblingpodcast. If you want to leave a voicemail for the show, call (714) 202-6401 and leave a message after the tone. Your voicemail will be featured on the next episode! //Art by Charlie Nagelhout, @MarleyCatts//Music from https://filmmusic.io:"District Four" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/diblingpodcast)

The Donor Sibling Registry (DSR) is a network in which people conceived via sperm or egg donation can enter information about which donor they used, and get matched to their biological half-siblings and their donor. Over the past two decades, the DSR has grown from a small group of people looking to connect, to one of the foremost advocates for donor conceived people worldwide. I talk with co-founder Wendy Kramer about the founding of the organization, the issues the donor conceived community face, and the advocacy work the Registry does on behalf of donor conceived people.If you'd like to donate to the DSR, you can learn how at https://www.donorsiblingregistry.com/donate//If you have a story about donor conception or nontraditional families that you would like to share, or if you have any questions, contact the show through email at diblingpodcast@gmail.com or on Twitter @diblingpodcast. If you want to leave a voicemail for the show, call (714) 202-6401 and leave a message after the tone. Your voicemail will be featured on the next episode! //Art by Charlie Nagelhout, @MarleyCatts//Music from https://filmmusic.io:"District Four" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/diblingpodcast)

This show is named after the word "diblings", a portmanteau of the phrase "donor sibling". As a lovemanteau (a lover of portmanteau), I adore this word, and my donor siblings and I use it regularly to describe our relationships. But not everyone likes it, and some people hate it outright.The compilation of opinions on the word "dibling" referenced in the episode can be found on the DSR blog: https://www.donorsiblingregistry.com/blog/dibling-dumpling///If you have opinions on the word "dibling", a story about donor conception or nontraditional families that you would like to share, or if you have any questions, contact the show through email at diblingpodcast@gmail.com or on Twitter @diblingpodcast. If you want to leave a voicemail for the show, call (714) 202-6401 and leave a message after the tone. Your voicemail will be featured on the next episode! //Art by Charlie Nagelhout, @MarleyCatts//Music from https://filmmusic.io:"District Four" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/diblingpodcast)

An intentional community is a planned residential community often guided by shared values. Carolyn and Sandra discuss the creation and impact of their intentional community, and how it's influenced their perception of family. Then I get really reflective and emotional and stuff. You can skip that part, tho.//If you have a story about donor conception or nontraditional families that you would like to share, or if you have any questions, contact the show through email at diblingpodcast@gmail.com or on Twitter @diblingpodcast. If you want to leave a voicemail for the show, call (714) 202-6401 and leave a message after the tone. Your voicemail will be featured on the next episode! //Art by Charlie Nagelhout, @MarleyCatts//Music from https://filmmusic.io:"District Four" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/diblingpodcast)

At the first major dibling meetup, my biological half sister Carolyn and her mom Sandra took some time observe the way we interacted and reflect on the impact of nature and nurture. They spoke to me about how it felt seeing us together for the first time, and spoke about their history and journey through donor conception.//If you have a story about donor conception or nontraditional families that you would like to share, or if you have any questions, contact the show through email at diblingpodcast@gmail.com or on Twitter @diblingpodcast. If you want to leave a voicemail for the show, call (714) 202-6401 and leave a message after the tone. Your voicemail will be featured on the next episode! //Art by Charlie Nagelhout, @MarleyCatts//Music from https://filmmusic.io:"District Four" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/diblingpodcast)

In March 2016, I met one of my donor siblings for the first time. Sonya. Three years later, I sit down to talk to her and her dad, John, about their relationship and experiences with donor conception.//If you have a story about donor conception or nontraditional families that you would like to share, or if you have any questions, contact the show through email at diblingpodcast@gmail.com or on Twitter @diblingpodcast. If you want to leave a voicemail for the show, call (714) 202-6401 and leave a message after the tone. Your voicemail will be featured on the next episode! //Art by Charlie Nagelhout, @MarleyCatts//Music from https://filmmusic.io:"District Four" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)Today's episode also featured a preview of the song "Wake Up" by Sonya herself! "Wake Up" will be released on March 25th, and you can pre-save it here: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/sonyaseva/wake-up-2?fbclid=IwAR1XqKXC4AD7_rcTh5u3ume3GTajZk-YvJfMJut7gJQA9lv5FHyf5ROg09U Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/diblingpodcast)

The phrase “donor siblings” describes the relationship between people who were conceived using the same sperm donor. But saying “donor sibling” is kind of a mouthful, so we shorten it to “dibling” or “dib”. My brother George and I talk about how having dibs is a new and evolving cultural experience, and the ways it has influenced our personal ideas about family. Also, I try to set up some dramatic tension, realize I have to backtrack, and learn a little something about podcasting integrity!//If you have a story about donor conception or nontraditional families that you would like to share, or if you have any questions, contact the show through email at diblingpodcast@gmail.com or on Twitter @diblingpodcast.//Art by Charlie Nagelhout, @MarleyCatts//Music from https://filmmusic.io:"District Four" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/diblingpodcast)

Today on XRAY: (1)News With Friends w/ Emily Gilliland and Colin Jones (2)Talk Media News w/ Luke Vargas (3)Interview with Wendy Kramer, CEO and Co-Founder of the Donor Sibling Registry

In this powerful show, we talk with with Ryan Kramer, the extremely eloquent teenager who co-founded Donor Sibling Registry with his mother Wendy. We discuss 1) his curiosity about his roots from the age of two, 2) his own search for his donor, 3) what it is -- and is not -- that he is looking for in that search, 4) how the Donor Sibling Registry was born and the more than 6,000 matches that have been made since. He talks openly about the disappointment he felt when he learned of several half-siblings whose parents didn't want them to know each other. He also discusses the relationship he has since developed with a half-sister. We talked about whether being an only child has an impact on the curiosity. He offers tips for families making contact with half-siblings and donors, and he explains in articulate detail how he hopes the industry will change in the coming years -- which requires the participation of the Choice Mom community as one of the largest numbers of consumers.This show was sponsored by the Donor Sibling Registry.

In this unique, detailed show, we hear directly from a formerly anonymous sperm donor (now running this service for donor families), who contributed for 15 years, about the contact he has now had with a few of his offspring. We talk about how the industry has changed since he provided fresh sperm to infertile couples. He honestly discusses his motivations at the time, the responsibility he now feels for the 200-plus offspring he estimates he now has, and what his experience tells him about the interest donor-conceived offspring have about their donor. After he made contact with offspring via the Donor Sibling Registry, he admits to confusion about the best way to proceed and talks openly about the issues it has brought to his own family life. He also talks about the value he believes donated gametes have in enabling people to build their own family, despite the complications it can bring.This show was sponsored by California Cryobank.