All Vets Are Off

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Veterinary Medicine as seen through the eyes of Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn, two almost-board-certified general practitioners with a lot to say. Warning: includes satire, foul language, and some views that may differ from your own. Listener discretion advised.

Dr. Djinn & Dr. Samhain


    • Jul 31, 2022 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 28m AVG DURATION
    • 26 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from All Vets Are Off

    25. Rage Against The Medicine

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2022 58:33


    RANTING with a side of RANTING... and just a bit more RANTING. Topics included in today's episode: Veterinarians being thrown under the bus Empiric antibiotic usage and culture/sensitivity Giving cancer to everything Sticking it to some snooty alphabet soup people Stress dreams Chemo buddies and MORE!   WE HAVE PATREON! Please support your favorite ranting veterinarians :) Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/AllVetsAreOff Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Merch: https://allvetsareoff.threadless.com/ Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com  

    24. We Do Anal... Glands

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2022 37:49


    That's right folks, we do anal gland removals! An entire episode dedicated to butt stuff. Did we mention we talk about butts? If buttock-related surgeries give you the heebie-jeebies, seek cover no longer!   Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Merch: https://allvetsareoff.threadless.com/ Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com  

    23. We Asked The Board Specialists

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2022 36:39


    Faced with difficult questions in the veterinary world, Drs. Djinn and Samhain must swallow their pride and call the experts for help. Will this be the end of their boarded snobbery?   Disclaimer: Audio glitches due to unforeseen interference. Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Merch: https://allvetsareoff.threadless.com/ Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com

    22. No Pain, All Gain

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2022 30:40


    Some people say, "pain is weakness leaving the body". But pain sucks! While we can't get rid of pain altogether, we can do our best to minimize it. Here's Dr. Djinn and Dr. Samhain's analgesia protocols for small animal surgical procedures!   Content warning: Some views may differ from your own.   Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Merch: https://allvetsareoff.threadless.com/ Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com

    21. Clients Asked WHAT?!

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2022 34:19


    We asked, you DELIVERED! On Twitter, we posed the question: "What's the worst veterinary medical question you've EVER been asked?!" And you all knocked it out of the park! We try our best to "answer" your worst client questions. If you need a break from reality, this is the episode for you! (If you came here for veterinary informational content... Hi! Welcome! Maybe pick a more serious episode first)   Guess the follow-up future episode... win a sticker! Write us: Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Merch: https://allvetsareoff.threadless.com/ Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com

    20. No Tears Left To Cry

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2022 42:52


    Does a bulldog with mucoid ocular discharge send you running in terror? What about a dog with absolutely no tears at all? Horrifying, right? Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn tackle everything you would EVER want to know about dry eye disease and keratoconjunctivitis sicca! You asked, we delivered! One of our longest episodes to date... because we really like talking about ophthalmology.   Merch: https://allvetsareoff.threadless.com/ Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com

    19. Nice Means Nothing

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2022 24:40


    Veterinary medicine has been going through it lately. Clients have been terrible to all of us. Even the nice ones... will eventually stab you in the back. Oh, and don't forget to do your government issued wellness modules! Those will surely help you feel better. TW: Rant Episode. Two veterinarians yelling about clients and stupid emails...   Guardian article: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jan/30/vets-want-to-help-your-pet-and-you-but-death-threats-arent-good-for-anyones-health   Merch: https://allvetsareoff.threadless.com/ Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com

    18. Pop Your Cherry Eye

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2022 36:59


    Dr. Djinn and Dr. Samhain are back on their ophthalmology BS! Learn how to repair a cherry eye, and why (dear goodness gracious) we don't remove them. Twitter rant-inspired episode.   We officially have merch!!! Merch: https://allvetsareoff.threadless.com/ Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com

    17. Mindless Mumblings, Misspoken Menageries, and Incoherent Idiosyncrasies

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 2021 12:59


    Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn's 2021 year in screw ups! Incoherent sounds, wheezing, and many drams of whiskey were involved in the making of this blooper reel.   Happy New Year! Thanks for your support in 2021. We look forward to giving you even more asinine veterinary content in 2022! Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com  

    16. Random Smattering of Shattery

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2021 21:44


    Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn's most shat bag, hot garbage, dumpster fire veterinary cases.  Some of our favorite "What the...?" cases. All for your listening pleasure!    Details edited to protect patient identities.   Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com

    15. Anemia

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2021 38:27


    Anen... anem.... anemone.... wait, that's not right.  Anemia! Drs. Samhain and Djinn are actually talking about veterinary medicine again!  Everything you wanted to know (and some things you didn't) about anemia.  Spherocytes, steroids, and blood transfusion rants abound.    Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com    

    14. Demonology

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2021 39:30


    Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn: Certified Demonologists Have you been afflicted by a negative presence? Do you feel a heavy weight on your chest? Have you seen a black bird apparition recently?  We're no longer just veterinarians. As newly minted demonologists, we are here to exercise (I mean exorcise) your demons too! Trust us, we're professionals.    Happy Halloween!  Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com

    13. Paranormal Clinic-tivity

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 12, 2021 26:22


    Come one, come all... we have a SpOoOoky story for you! Drs. Samhain and Djinn's real-life haunting tale of the Ghosts of Vet Clinic Past.    Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com

    October Preview

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2021 3:09


    It's finally SPOOKY SEASON! Just a little intro to our shenanigans this month.    Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com

    12. Stream of Consciousness

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2021 24:01


    Was your day stressful? Did clients yell at you? Need someone to sit down and have a drink with? Want to listen to a complete nonsensical conversation? Well Drs. Djinn and Samhain have the perfect episode for you!  We needed a break. And a drink. Here's our stream of consciousness! Enjoy!   Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com  

    11. Alternative Medicine

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2021 43:36


    Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn went (virtually) to a veterinary conference expecting continuing education credits. Unbeknownst to them, some of that "education" would be in alternative medicine... From herbs to tuning forks, and generational trauma to qi: here's All Vets Are Off's unhinged take on alt med.    Email us: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff

    10. What To Do When Your Flap Turns To Goo

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2021 32:53


    What happens when a corneal ulcer refuses to heal? What does SCCED even mean? Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn's tips for what to do when your (third eyelid) flap turns to goo.  Trigger warning: Goo related eyeball talk. Save yourselves.     Email us: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff

    9. Heartworm (Part 4): Killing Me Slowly

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2021 25:03


    Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn's stream of consciousness rant about the "Slow Kill Method" for treatment of heartworm.  Warning: our editor needed a break. Enjoy the most full-fledged, no-holds-barred rant yet. We wanted to end the heartworm series with a bang! ...but slowly.   Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff

    8. Heartworm (Part 3): Treatment and Prevention

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2021 18:43


    Your canine patient has heartworm... Well fudge, now what?! Don't panic.  Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn will help you treat heartworm if you've got it, and prevent it if you don't.   Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff (Foreshadowing: only 1 part of the heartworm series remains... what's possibly left to rant about?) 

    7. Heartworm (Part 2): Clinical Signs and Diagnosis

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2021 22:07


    Congratulations! You survived the life cycle episode! Cough cough... we promise heartworm clinical signs are a bit less dry.  Sound effects included.  Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn walk you through diagnosing heartworm in both canine and feline patients.    Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff

    6. Heartworm (Part 1): Life Cycle and Pathology

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2021 9:23


    Like fine wine, heartworm life cycle is dry.  We get it, it's boring! Here's Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn's quick rundown of heartworm pathology and life cycle in 9 minutes.    Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff

    5. Fake Happy

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2021 28:42


    Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn's stream of consciousness rant about the necessity of being "Fake Happy" in veterinary medicine. If you have a fake customer service personality, this is the show for you! This is the episode that brought All Vets Are Off to fruition! Years worth of discussions, ranting, and building our fake personas went into the production of this episode. Enjoy!   Send us your best Fake Happy stories: Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff

    4. The Wonderful World of STDs

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 17, 2021 12:36


    Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn discuss STDs! Nice try. We know what you're thinking. Why is your mind in the gutter? Quick rundown of STDs in veterinary medicine: feline upper respiratory infections of course! Feline herpesvirus-1, chlamydophila and mycoplasma.  Email: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/AllVetsAreOff 

    3. Doctors Without Boundaries

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2021 30:23


    Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn rant about their vain attempts to maintain some type of work-life balance in veterinary medicine.  Warning: those attempts don't end well.  Email us: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Patreon: Officially launched! Though we have no idea what to do with it yet. https://www.patreon.com/AllVetsAreOff 

    2. Third Eyelid Flaps Are (Not) The Devil

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2021 30:47


    Join Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn as they discuss third eyelid flaps for corneal ulcers, and why they may not actually be blasphemous. Warning: May increase your knowledge of ophthalmology in veterinary medicine, scotch whiskey, and other nefarious subjects.  Email us: Allvetsareoff@gmail.com Twitter: @AllVetsAreOff Patreon: Coming soon. 

    1. Introduction to "All Vets Are Off"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2021 10:56


    Welcome to All Vets Are Off's pilot episode! We are Dr. Samhain and Dr. Djinn, two almost-board-certified general practitioners. Join us on a sarcasm-filled journey through the world of veterinary medicine. 

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