Men On Fire UK

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man.  Go on, Sam, get your ass over here. We're recording, mate. You ready? Are you? Yeah. We're on already. Yeah,  we're on already.  Is that because of a short time? Yeah. We're short of time today, mate. Short of time. So nice. Quickie today. You want a quickie, mate? It's a bit early for a quickie for me. Yeah, yeah. Um, but we'll do what we can. To be fair, if we've got 15 minutes. Yeah, it's not a quickie for me, so.  Yeah. Sorry about the noise in the background. We've got some diggers going, we've got very limited time. And we're going to talk about time. Yeah, yeah. So about time. Do you have enough time? No. Does anyone ever have enough time? Do you have enough time? God, no. It's really hard, isn't it? Sometimes it goes really slow. Didn't that time. Although I remember, like, being younger and having periods of my life where I felt. Wasted so much time. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's an older thing. Do you think as you get older, you start thinking, oh, shit, I think so. I mean, I remember at school holiday, six weeks would go on forever and ever and you think, oh, you know, I got forever, like here, you know, six weeks, stretch it out. And now it's like, gone in a blink of an eye. And, you know, it was like video games. I worked with a lot of young people. We talked about video gaming and stuff. Yeah. And I, I would probably be still partial to a video game, but where the fuck when am I doing that? What have you got? When am I doing that? Especially now. Like games, you have to. They're like little mini films, aren't they? You have to watch, like, scenes for ten minutes. I just can I just jump on something's head and make it explode really quickly? But yeah. Yeah. So time is pretty precious stuff, isn't it? Really? I think so, but then you've got to be careful. Because then. Because I get quite like,  not like restless. So if I, if I'm not doing anything, I'm like, I should be doing something. Yeah. I need to use this time. Yeah. But then if you're doing that sometimes you're not really. Just appreciating the moment that you're in, having downtime. And I mean, we've talked about it before we meet smelling roses and stuff, but, you know, it is important to have downtime and quiet time. It's important where you feel like you're doing stuff. I mean, I think with, you know, people feel like you've got to be doing something all the time, like jumping out of airplanes and parachuting and snowboarding and being busy and crazy and using the most of your time. But then you don't have those quiet time moments just to reflect. And yeah, um, they're really important too. So it's hard, isn't it? And then again, I guess that's individual because there probably are people with time on their hands and that's that's never a good. Well,  is that ever a good thing? I think if you haven't, if you haven't got it, you want it, you want it. But people that have got loads of times on their hands, I mean, I guess it's a bit like money. Well, if you haven't got it, you want it. And if you got lots and. Well, I was going to, I was going to say something a little controversial. That's, you know, quite a lot of people, a lot of time on their hands get up to things. Yeah. Crime? Drugs. Less. But then maybe the same with money. No, no. If you've got the money, you don't need the right to the crime. I mean, I haven't got time to do any drugs or crime or anything, so it's always time for drugs markets. Yeah. I'd love I know I would, I'd love time to even think about doing that. But yeah, it's hard, isn't it. It's, you know, work balance of work. We've talked about that stuff a lot, these things. And it does come down to time doesn't it? Time and money and love and things like that. It's so weird as well because time is like this rigid concept. You can time it. You can literally see it. You can watch it go past, you can categorize it, split it up. But the&

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man. There we go. We're recording,  I think. Yeah. We're recording. Yeah. Yeah, I think we're recording. So. Technology in this cold. We're about half an hour. We're about. No, we are technically. You said. We said we'd meet at nine. Yeah. It's now 55 minutes past. Yeah. And we've only just started. Yeah, yeah, we have an hour. We've got a lot of water under the bridge already. And quite often me and Sam, when we just end up chatting, we end up in the worlds too. Right. And then not recording it and then. Yeah, but then there's some sensitive information we probably would want to edit out quite a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So not that sensitive. We're not talking about the body again. No is in my car. The reason I brought up the time was because we were going to talk about time management. Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. I missed the cue there. I missed the cue. You opened the door and I asked because we chose the subject again right at the start, about an hour ago and talked about everything else. Yeah. Time management box. How do you manage your time? Sometimes I don't know how I manage my time. Lack time, lack of management. Yeah, yeah I do all right with work and my oil work. My old job. I'm very good at that. I mean, that's getting busy now and I'm juggling plates with with that and family stuff. So. And with barbecue. So yeah. Time management is um, is is important. I do struggle with it, but I have to be effective really with, with a lot of it, especially with my oil work. I can't not be effective with time management with that. You know, you've got to plan. You've got to meet deadlines. You've got to do that. Do you find it easier with. Because I was I was thinking about this before we start talking the. So with time management, the bit I find hardest is when there isn't a clear answer, which is maybe more about decision making. But where should I be spending my time? Whereas actually with oil work or with me, with sessions like when people book a session, it's 11 to 12. I'm doing the session. That's what I'm doing, you know, and and even with things like sport, rugby, you know, a lot of blokes go into the Army and get something from that, that sort of there's no time management for me to do anymore. Everyone's telling me what to do. Yeah. But when you go, I find it hard. When it's like, okay, should I leave an hour early for work and pop in to see my mum and dad for a coffee? Because I've seen them for a while? Or should I spend half an hour playing with my son? Or actually, should I get there early so I'm more prepped for work, you know, or it's that kind of time management I find really hard. But I think there's like self time management where you have to be disciplined yourself and you've got like a slot of time. That's the one. I'm sure that that one, um, I can be quite good at that. But I know I do my best work when kind of when my back's against the wall. So. Right. Writing the books, I. You have to write in my barbecue books. You have to be stacking up recipes ready. You have to be working. Working. But then bringing it all together and writing it up, I literally would just sit down for a few days solid bang bang bang bang bang just before the deadline even. But I would have been completely screwed if I hadn't have had that background of work ready. But I know I've got to bring it all together. That bang bang bang I and I like my oil work. I can't do that because there's like steps you have to to hit each step. So you can't, you know, you've got to have those steps in in order. And probably my biggest frustration quite often is other people, their interaction with you and that they might not have the same that time. They're not on my time management. And that's okay. I've got okay with that. But, you know, it's not just work, it's family. It's, you know, it's it's lots of things that fit in time and it's trying to get the time sometimes for you as well.

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Men on Fire. Do that again. Yeah, we're we're live, mate. We're live with my colleague, podcast recorder and friend. Definitely friend. Yeah. How are you doing, mate? How you do, mate. Good. Well, this is first. Yeah. And also what's funny about this podcast is when we record, sometimes we've been yammering on to each other for about two hours. So then we know exactly as soon as I press the record button, we go, right. What should we talk about? Yeah, we kind of covered it all. We talk about friendships though. Yeah, yeah. And I would say that is a a bonding factor in our friendship Marcus just kind of. Yeah. Offload to each other. Yeah I think it's important to have somebody you can talk to and mate and, you know, not just with the mental health thing. It's men's mental Health Month in November. People are growing with stashes and stuff. And yeah, isn't that that's for ball cancer isn't it. No. That's is it. No Movember. Oh, that's what I meant. Grow mustaches. Remember Movember? Is it for testicular cancer? Is it? Is it not? I don't know, one of us is going to sound bad, isn't it? I mean, they're both, you know. I know it's men's mental health month, November, so. Yes, maybe I'm getting confused that two. No, I think it's both. Both? Yeah. Anyway, we've established that we don't know. Anyway, most most men have got balls anyway, so. Well, most men think with their balls sometimes at some point in their life. So, you know, perhaps it's one and the same. Yeah. Yeah. Health and head health. Yeah. But yeah, friendship's really important, isn't it. You know, I obviously I value you as a friend and you know that's that's amazing. And I also believe sort of friendships come and go a bit. And I'm not saying I'm going to leave you. Yeah. Yeah. But they do. And it's it's hard sometimes, you know, you can be in the moment with and going back to podcasts. What was it a couple where we were in the moment. You can be in the moment with friends and sometimes it's just not  I don't know, lives move on and different. And, you know, I look back and I've got very few friends from, you know, like university days and early on days and, you know, I'd rather have a group of sort of tight knit friends rather than a few people who I sort of stay in touch with who are like friends. Yeah, 1s yeah, it is hard, isn't it? Because I think. Quite often you look at a relationship and then if you drift apart or you're not as close as you were, that's always seen as a negative. But actually I think about it as well. That was a really good time. We had together when we saw each other all the time. But then circumstances change. Life changes. You still touch base every now and again with my uni mates. We're quite close, but we don't really speak to each other. We just meet up for birthdays. But when you're there, it's like nothing's happened. You like back in the room? Yeah, I think that's a bit of a difference with blokes. I mean, talking, you know, with wife and female friends and stuff. Female friendships can be a bit more intense and, you know, you've got to be a bit more  keeping up. And, you know, that's part of the, you know, if I go out with like a mate I haven't seen in a few years, you go out and have a beer and, you know, it's like nothing's sort of happen. You don't have to force it. I find, you know. Yeah, it just is just there. And, you know, it's that realization that actually may be leading different lives, but you've got common sort of history. You've had a few beers together at some point, and you don't need to force it. I don't, don't think. There's also I think there's like things you go through in your life that change or that you don't do anymore. And sometimes maybe particularly with blokes, maybe not, but. It's like you played rugby together, so you saw each other week in, week out for years, but now you don't play rugby. S

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man. All right, mate. All right. All right, let's go in. We started off. We? Yeah. Um, forgotten what to do. Really was all. I was all chatty earlier, and then you fed me this. Incredible. Steak. Tomahawk steak. And I'm in a bit of a meat coma now. But a good one. Yeah, a good brunch. I mean, what's it now? It's only like 10:00 and we've had a tomahawk steak, which is. It was ridiculous,  but we can't talk about it. Marcus doesn't do barbecue, so I can't tell you what you did or how, but it was. It was very dirty, though. It was very dirty. I gave it a good way. Dirty finish. Oh, what was that? You could you. We can talk about the salt that you used. What was that? Yeah. Toby. Toby. Tom's new salt. He sent me a few boxes of that, so it was a nice pecan smoked salt. Oh, we sent you a few boxes. Yeah. Yeah. You didn't send me any boxes, so you can't talk about it on this podcast. It's a joint effort to send me some tubby tom or whatever your name is, but you get the benefit of it, so I did. Yeah. To be fair, I do keep sending them to Marcus. I've still get my fingers in the salt. Yeah, although that would make it go moist and stick together. You don't want that? No, no, not that I've got moist fingers anyway. What we're talking about today, um. Why? I haven't been here for a couple of weeks, so we've sort of missed a couple of recording sessions. So I had a group of chefs here, um, a couple of weeks ago, which was great fun, passing on my barbecue knowledge. And last week I had a holiday  which brought up the subject of holidays, didn't it? Yeah, yeah. Holidays. So. Was this a good holiday? You come back feeling recharged and ready to go. Yeah. I don't know about recharged, but just different, different mindset. I talked to my wife about this, and sometimes it really helps us to have a different mindset. And remember you saying when you had your holiday, your lovely warm holiday in the summer, that you came back and you needed another holiday, but you felt different, like almost like recharged a little bit in a different way. But but it was that change of scene, wasn't it, I think. Definitely, definitely. It's like the first day you come back from holiday. You always appreciate your bed and your home more than any other day until you go on holiday again. Come back, I think. And that was I was thinking then when I asked you, or was it a good holiday and did you come back feeling recharge? Well, that's not that's not everyone's measurement of a holiday, is it? I suppose it's like when you're 18 and you go to Ibiza with the lads. Not that I've ever done that. Oh, it's Thailand with the lads. Up into my ether with a lad, mate. And with the lad. Yeah, the lad and. Yeah. That's not like some sort of different holiday. No, no, no, that was, that was a good. We went into a travel agents a day before and said we want to go somewhere that ends in uncovered. We want to go tomorrow. Right. So Ibiza was it. That's funny, isn't it? Because I'm a bit of a tangent then, but I remember being that sort of age and before was that sort of place you go with the lads or lasses to, you know, do stuff, do bits and now it's like it's quite a sort of swanky holiday spot for sort of older clubbers, isn't it? If me and you were going to go on clubbing holiday now with a bit of cash to throw around your cash, not mine.  Um, then we would go Ibiza and go to all the swanky clubs. Mean James Haskell's there. Exactly, exactly. There's a lot. I don't know what it says, you know. Yeah. Um, but yeah. Yeah. It was. No, it's a nice holiday. Thank you. It was. It was good. Do you think now, would you judge a holiday?  But quite heavily on either recharging or giving headspace. Is that like what you would think? It's just doing something different from the day, say, daily grind, but just doing something different from what I do normally, which you know, is pretty amazing. But I do

There we go. Right. I'll put the phone down. Put your phone down. Not going to look at the clock. Phones down. Not look at the clock. Stare at that fire for a bit. Yeah. Get completely in the moment, Marcus. Talk about it. We are at this moment. Yeah, it's. It's a subject I'm trying to do, like, focus more on and trying to bring a bit more into my life. Um, I've. I've always been somebody very goal orientated and thinking. Right, next thing, next book, next. You know, what can I do next, next, you know, project. And I forget that here and now is is really special. Really important. Oh, thanks. And right here and. Yeah. I mean I've been doing so I've been doing a bit of work with a counsellor recently and, um, it's sort of, you know, the work we've sort of got to is like that. I'm sort of. I need to plateau for a little bit. I've been working, working, working for a lot of years. The last 20 years I've been working really hard. And actually I just need to stop and smell the roses a little bit. And. I enjoy some of my hard work. Instead of thinking about hard work, thinking about the next thing, just enjoying where you are and the level you got to. Yeah, definitely. So I'm trying a bit more of that. That's something you do. You stop and smell the roses. You try and see where you are and just think, yeah, well, it's one of those, isn't it? Because being in the moment, if invariably if you look at any sort of mindfulness or you know, that is at the core of it is learning to be in the moment. Um, and I certainly think I've got better at consciously doing it. Yeah. But I do have to work at it, and it's hard work. Yeah, I'm quite in the moment in terms of changing from moment to moment, but don't stay still somewhere for very long. So I'm trying to get better at that, particularly when it's like nice stuff. Family time, time with my son.  Is that hard? Because you mean you got a tendency to flip around between stuff? So 100% is very hard and it's hard work and have to put things in place and whenever. So like, for example, with my son and the phone, you know, it's so easy to check an email to try and get some work done, you know, that kind of stuff. Whereas if I'm out in nature, I find that kind of makes it easier to just switch off. Um, but the other thing, which kind of ties back to what we were talking about last week, is I look for activities where I can't not be in the moment. It's kind of like cheating. Yeah, yeah, it forces you into it. Exactly. So I went from rugby, which was always that, and that was part of my life from probably 13 to. 35. So when that, when that went, it left quite a big hole. And so I've discovered jujitsu. And in a way that was almost because with rugby, if I was playing and I was catching quite a lot. So I was like worried about the result and stuff sometimes. Whereas with jiu jujitsu, if you aren't in the moment, you're probably going to get strangled. So it's kind of like you've got to be completely responsible to be present. It's amazing for that. So I think you can either like, go down the sort of Buddhist route of you've got to practice it and, you know, listen to the sounds and feel the sensations and grounding and all that stuff, which is really valuable. But equally, if you're struggling with that, you can just fast track it. Just find something where you're getting strangled. Go get straight. Yeah, yeah. Maybe not for you, but you know something? Where for some people, it could be things like. Like I talked to my father in law about it. In the way he describes, like, shooting and shooting air rifles. And, you know, that's that for him. That kind of focused on the shot and the breath and all that kind of stuff. So there's loads of ways to do it. I think you're finding that with barbecue and like the fire thing, can you, can you sort of. Because I can. I'm lucky that I can sort of switch off and look at a fire. And I find a lot of people sit around the fire and you lose them into the fire

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man. How are you doing? We started. We started literally going to hold onto a hand. She was saying the words were  not fit.  Oh, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. So it's always all about. We have a game of rugby. That's probably a bit crazy. So. Yeah, two words. For example, 49 and I'm going to be 50 in January and I've sort of my rugby saw fizzled out and got fat and unfit and it just I just thought my work picked up and I just thought for him. Okay. But something in me when the dead. When did you like that? Six years ago. Um, and something in me was like, um, saying you still got, got it in you sort of thing. And,  um, yeah, so I've, I've obviously lost a bit of weight recently and got fitter and, um, so my daughters playing rugby and I'm talking with my coaches girls and well cups on your cup song there and yeah it's perfect storm really happened and um, yeah. And they said oh do you fancy up in the game? And I'm like, well yeah and, and I've been missing it. I really miss the, the, the mental health effect it had on my head when, when I started playing, when I was like 28. And really after the university ID start, it really had a bit of both, both a benefit for me and it really helped me with my mental health. And um, you know, I'm sure you know that as well. Rugby is really good for, for stress and stuff going on just clears your head. It just makes you lighter. And even though your body aches,  know something about. Oh yeah, oh, my body would say solid. I mean, objectively speaking. Coming back and playing rugby. Falsified. Lied. Six years.  It's ridiculous. They may already kind of covers the benefit of it. Why? Maybe that outweighs the particular physical stress. Yeah. You know, and I've been struggling a little bit with a few things recently and just saw the game of rugby clear my mind a little bit and sort and, and just just enjoy it and,  you know, so I heard it. Yeah. Like sort of threes game in, in the offing. I'm like, yeah, you better go. I thought well what's the worse it can happen over 20 minutes at the end probably. I mean I saw  this unit if you listen is a familiar with rugby now  so. So I'm just I'm 40. I haven't played since I was about 30 war and then five I had one game a few years back there is my son will come back and do 20 minutes for the back row which is not the easiest position really, but. You play front row. And so when you do a comeback game in a third team in the front row for anyone that's not quite that sort of standard.  But local won't be lost. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like. It's not, like long before you forget a ball. Yeah. Lot of big boys push it. Yeah, it's a fight in the scrum, so. Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah. Thought I'd give it a go, and I ended up playing for the second team, so it wasn't even really a battle. It's a friendly, but no such thing. Really. Is that. Oh, no. And yeah, second team, they told me. Right. You're starting. Okay. No, um. Thought that. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, if you play in a few, you're away or.  Uh, yeah, just other positions like you. You're coming back with my mom? Just standing there. Okay. Yeah, it definitely wasn't allowed. Lowliest ground, anyway. Lasted 60 minutes, had a couple runs, few tackles, um, lot of scrums and. Yeah. Managed 60 minutes before my neck started. Give it up then give up the ghost. But yeah, I've loved it. I was chuffed that my my my neck and not my legs, you know. That said I've still got that fit. That's so only get around the carcass now. Is it a comeback or is it a comeback? And then go show where you go. No, that's a good that's a good question. So could just like think of it as just a one off bang, you know? But there is something in me going no, nothing got all glory in your tank and so yeah mean so guess the the subject for today it's all comebacks and you know stopping something and is it worth restarting. Is it w

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man.  Well, coffee sorted. Yeah, it's nearly half. Yeah. Early for a fireside out there, I think. Yeah. I mean, they don't need to know how we record it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. They don't need to know how early is. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe one the side. Yeah. It's definitely turning as well. Feeling a bit more autumnal here at barbecue school. It's  a storm Agnes thing today. Right. And if any model for still. Yeah. I think it's quite easy to get your name right to get names of the storm. Yeah, I think so. After the old days, this would look like this would be a mild blow. It would be mild, but yeah, I like quite like a storm for me. Like, um, adverse weather conditions are an opportunity to, um, get out and barbecue because, like, when it's a nice sunny summer's day, afternoon, evening, whatever, then it's easy for me and like a bit more of a challenge. And, you know, just to feel that I'm pushing myself. So quite often you see some real hardcore barbecue people get out in the snow or in a storm and they get all excited. I've seen a few. Oh, he's cooking install magnets. It's like, yes. Oh, it's like a badge of honour to get outdoors and cooking. I can see and ideas appeared. Show some if there's any juice out there. Yeah right. Extreme barbecue it basically Marcus gets all all over the world in different extreme environments. Lavender bar Winchester. I'd be up for that. Yeah. Yeah. Like wing walking on a plane. Yeah, I'm pretty on down with that. Yeah, I'm definitely dying with that. So, top of the pyramids. Yeah. Underwater barbecue. That would be. I think it's. I saw somebody do that. You know what I think? I think it was in some sort of air bubble thing, actually. Yeah. Yeah, they did this underwater barbecue. Yeah. I mean, they must be probably is. Is there not an element that could be heated underwater and you could wear a diving suit and you technically cook off it? What? The air happened with that. Yeah. You could think with the world war would get really hot. Yeah, yeah,  yeah. It's not I've not thought it through entirely, but, you know, it could be something that could really leave. And television legacy. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we're going to talk about again. You know, we. I was fishing around for a few ideas, and some of the guys came up with an idea for talk about legacy and oneness. What legacy can be handed down to us and what we pass on to guests. The next lot of people who come along, that's probably already here. But yeah, let's let's start with the definition man was legacy. Me. I think it's what you, what you take from previous like I said and what you hand on to next generations what is that so or whoever comes on from that you know, doesn't have to be a generation next. But you know so if you did you have to be multiple people to carry the legacy. Oh, because if you know, because I think we were talking before and would say like this might be difficult episode for me to be positive. I've got some negative feelings about certain things that happen in the world and how easy it is to even leave a legacy, but  as an individual. But of course, sir, so my focus now is not that that will be my legacy. Is this doing my best for him and hoping that, you know, he's in a comfortable, good place and. Oh. But that's important. Also, if you're not a parent, you as a you, you could argue that if you just made one person's life better or impacted one area, even if it's really narrow within your community. Is that that to me that you could still count that as a legacy in commission? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I think so. And I think I think yeah, for me, it's really a big legacy. Yeah. For me, if if you can, um, work out a way of leaving a positive impact on the world and those about you, then that's a good legacy. Whatever it is you do, then you've left things better than what they were. We can get here now. I'm feeling. I don't know what th

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man. All right, mate, How are you? Welcome to do that thing in the beginning. Yeah. You realise who that voice is, don't you? No. No, it sounds like some. So I tried various slight things, and like a lot of them, we tried tested a couple of new. And lot of them sound like robot voice. That's actually Father Christmas, right? The verified Father Christmas? No, not even an AI father Christmas voice. And I just thought it sounded like a very wise man that.  Father Christmas would definitely be modern.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's  Jeff Bezos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The modern Father Christmas. Yeah, yeah, It feels like it at our house. The things that showed up around Christmas time and. Yeah, Yeah, well, we're living it. Yeah. How are you, mate? Yeah, not bad, mate, but Holiday. With the pump. We flew into Exeter and about 20 minutes before we landed. There were floods in Exeter, so we had to fly on to Bristol. Oh yeah. Which it was my. Was that on the Sunday? Thursday. Oh, Thursday. A young son's first trip abroad and fly at home. So we then had to land and then they said they were going to arrange taxis. And I'm thinking like, I've got an Exeter perspective. Like that's going to take four, four hours for taxis to come and go. But actually it was Bristol, so they had like a massive fleet. Yeah. Yeah. Half hour or so. Yeah, it's all good. It's one of those. I think we were talking about it last week at the.  That's all practice of gratitude. Mike spoke of our need before. I've heard about a law trying to remember. Yeah, but it's so easy to slip. But it's also so important because I was on holiday and it's Greece, you know, it's lovely. But there's. There's bits that are not kind of what we're after. All this stressful things that happen on holiday. Yes, it's fairly standard and you're kind of on only ten days or she can't count quality food to get her higher comfort bed. Yeah. And then the minute I woke up my own bed as I  was back in Greece. Yeah. The hot sun. Yeah. And it pulled back. I'm waiting on a beach. Yeah, no worries. And just the worry being like planning which taverna you're going to eat.  Me. Thoughts for lunch? Yeah. Back at work. Now, holidays are on double edged sword, really. You know, it's good to have that wine down that break. But, you know. Yeah, you think you realize when you get home how lucky you are. But yeah it's not always easy is that people think our holiday break away but it's so they're a different country, different craft and different culture, different things and it's not always easy. And in my practice, gratitude are what Brian is now saying. Yeah me you now publicly moaning that you've gone on a date to Greece and there's probably people that I'm not at all day that takes years. So again, that kind of cycle of gratitude and gratitude is constantly. Yeah, yeah. So what we're talking about today, um, it came up, one of the guys, um, a good friend of mine was looking around for ideas and stuff just like that. He set up a really good Facebook group. People, you know, blokes who like sitting around fires. Jane Which is kind of like one of our successes. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Definitely. But one of the subjects he wanted us to have a look at was failure. Yeah, the other side. And we've looked at sass and motivation and being motivated and things and it's, I think it's good to look at what happens when things aren't quite going right. And what happens then? Do you let it knock you? Do you learn from it? You know, there's lots of, um, of ways of going. Guess it depends where you are as a person. I think, you know, sometimes I feel, you know, if when things aren't going right, I can't. Yeah. Makes everything else hard to deal with. Other times when I'm really focused, I say, All right, that hasn't worked. I'm going to try this and see if that works and learn from that failure that how how you deal with fa

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man. Reading me loud and clear. Yeah. Yeah. Got you, mate. Can't be arsed. Come the earth. Can't be arsed of struggling motivation. Not feeling motivated today. Not feeling motivated. You've had a busy old day. So I've got a busy day of a busy couple of weeks. I'm lying just to sort of make the the tile work nicely because I always enjoy this.  Mr. Motivator, this motivated. What motivates you, mate? How do you get motivated for something? I don't know. I go through bouts where I feel more motivated and less motivated. Think that's normal? Um, I'm feeling pretty motivated at the moment on my health and up to state and um, you know me get hyper obsessive about things and an by health and fitness at the moment. Yeah. So you've been doing all the tracking the tracking stuff and. Yeah. Steps in that. Yeah. 10,000 steps. Yeah. My legs ache. So I'm an old man.  Yeah, that side of stuff. Really? I would. That would almost demotivate me a little bit. Yeah. But you're pretty motivated, though. Yeah, but it's funny. I think, like, again, even if, say, like you had two people both wanted to focus on their way and how. Yeah. Think like anything. Motivation for you is quite, it seems quite like focused in the detail you want, like you want to be so really on it. Yeah. Whereas for me I find it fun to like that sometimes. The more I get told to do it, the more structured it's got to be. My brain goes boring physically helps. Yeah. I need a real goal as well. Like real. Which as we spoke about in the success episode, Elizabeth said yes, you identified it as a goal and then you appreciate it when you get there. Yeah, definitely, Definitely. Motivation is I mean, it runs through our lives, doesn't it? And that's our work, our Alf, our love life, our,  you know, so many different things. You think so? Think though with motivation people might think of. I don't know. Motivating themselves to do something they don't want to do all this difficult and every time in your life where you're lacking motivation. Yeah, but what I would say is that sometimes you it might just be there. You could find something that does motivate you even in those really sort of low motivation times. Yeah. And I wonder if that's all builds the same muscle, if you like. Yeah, same kind of. See, because in which have you ever lacked motivation for?  Cooking a barbecue. Not necessarily work related stuff. God, yes, you have. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um. Yeah. When I've been busy, when I've had a run of barbecues, I definitely am lucky motivation at that point. Um, usually by this point at the end of the season that I'm pretty run out of motivation. And, um. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not so much this year. I've balanced myself a bit, but I found that balance and I found that I. About motivating, but not more using that word than we did. That's right. Yeah. Then it'll be in the transcript now. Do the algorithms on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, even we're not even having a conversation. We just say motivation. Oh, yeah? Yeah. This guess the self-motivation and getting motivated by others. And, um. Yeah, it's all self really think because, like, ultimately, if you don't decide the matter, where else does. It's it's got to be driven by you. I don't. I don't think if you you outsource your motivation that's you will borrow time. You outsource it. Yes. Oh I suppose again like going to a for you that's kind of outsourcing it there. But if you could very equally you could go to your get all the lovely motivation from him. Yeah. Turn off the zoom call and not do any of it. Yeah. So if you don't motivate yourself then it's not a. And even with a joke or something someone's telling you to do. Otherwise you lose your job. You still have to do it. Yeah. Otherwise you lose. Well, I'll keep my gas and mouth open. Money? Um. Yeah, yeah. Have different things. Pushing family. That's an interesting one, because

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man. What are we talking about today? Challenge Challenging. Challenging yourself. Challenging yourself? Well, it's kind of a conversation and a bit of a plea to the audience. Or not, maybe. Please. A bit of a strong word, but a challenge to you, in fact. Yeah, members of the audience. But those of you that have followed me for a long time, i.e. my mum and Devon Locke, Greg Locke, who's kind of had to put up with me because he's my mate. Yeah. Uh, I've quite often throughout my life done these little challenges. Um.  There are some, so I'm looking for a new one. I need one this year and that's something we can talk about is why? Why I think they're important but you know. Yeah. For you as well Marcus. But.  I'm in need. Need a new one? Yeah. Yeah. So I need something that I can do. Possibly this year. That is going to challenge me. But the thing is, for me, it's not. It's not as easy as just something that's difficult. My wife suggested I just don't talk for a week, which that would be a challenge. Yeah, baby. Rubbish. So, like, I've always I've done done them for charity. I've done a lot of work for charity, but they're always a bit selfish, really. They're always things where I know they're going to be horrible, but I'm also going to enjoy parts of it. Get you out of your comfort zone, is it? Or a kind of. So I'll get into the examples of things. I've walked Hadrian's Wall in Roman sandals because I wanted to walk Hadrian's Wall but also want it. So I slept rough every night. So I just carried all my stuff with me, slept where I slept, and there were nights where it was amazing. I slept on, you know, in a Roman little mile turret. But equally, my feet were bollocks by the end. Yeah. Now drastic house, barefoot again. This seems to be a theme with murdering my feet. But that was horrible. But part of the challenge. Yeah, but so they're quite often being out in the wilderness is a definite. It has to be out in the wilderness. I have to have moments where it's just me in the elements. That's the bit that I enjoy. Yeah. The piggyback marathon I did last year, I think it was that was just straight up horrible for 15 hours, either piggy or the both. We alternated. Okay, so that was with myself and Pete Howard. Really good in the local Exeter area. If you're in need of a Pete or a massage  massage, he's because he's, he's a strong bastard so he proper gets in there. Yeah. Not you know that's not getting there there. Yeah. You know um yes. So I'm looking for something else now. I had, I had a few ideas floating around. I was going to try and go up a river and just walk up a river or swim up a river. But I think that would possibly be. Here we go. Here's. I've got it, I've got it, I got it. And it's to do with men on fire. I'm going to set fire to myself. Kind of, yeah. So have you ever tried walking on coals? So it fits with your. Yeah, my feet getting punished and. And fire and coals. See, the only thing is. And I'm not disregarding it. And it would be horrible. And probably I'm not trying to bottle out of it, but it's a bit short. Now, I'm not suggesting I'm going to walk like a marathon on coals. I don't even know what that would work logistically. But with all the challenges I find, the benefit for me is those moments where you could just give up. You really want to, but you make yourself do it. Yeah, there's something in opted challenge that I think strengthens you, builds that kind of resilience. Whereas coals I could I could do it once. It'd be over in ten minutes. Anything that's over in ten minutes is an easy, easy win. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I like the theme though, so if anyone's got any ideas, bearing in mind I have to be out in nature,  he has to be in fancy dress. That is always a good. Yeah, I'm more than happy to do that. I had the idea of walking the two moors way from Exmoor to Dartmoor fully in caveman like, Well, I need

we're on. Unlike Donkey Kong, we've done a few now, mate. I know. We still got a couple more that I don't know what we spoke about, so we might end up doubling over on some stuff eventually. Yeah. Good.  So what should we talk about today?  I don't know what we're going to talk about. Nothing to talk about. You did have a topic you want to talk about and there must be a reason why you want to talk. Yeah, we've forgotten already.  Because between us, we've got one half decent conversation. So you were talking about chance or coincidence, but also fate? Yeah. Being in the right place at the right place at the right time. That's it? Yeah. That's like a song from the indies or is that right here, right now or something? You're too young for that? Probably. Why not too young? Fat boy slim. I remember. Right here, right now. Yeah. Right place, right time. Sounds like a sort of kind of vibe.  Yeah, probably. Despite what the logo would say about my creviced face.  Yeah, people being in the right place at the right time. A few coincidence. Or not. But I guess like us.  I saw something on your Facebook that made me realize you work with autistic kids and neurodivergent kids, and I got in touch and then.  No, if you remember it's other way around. What's it? My parents got me a voucher for the barbecue school for my 40th. I contacted you to say, what's the best one to go on? And you told me and then you messaged straight back and said, do you do this? Oh, yeah. So it's even more of a coincidence really, because unless you may have contacted me anyway, but  yeah, definitely. And I think people come into your lives at the right time for you and they leave your lives as well. I'm not saying  dropped a hint, yeah, but you know what I mean? Sometimes people leave your lives in different ways at different times, but I definitely believe that people come into your life at the right time when you need them and when there's something you can both learn. And I think that's amazing. Again, go back to an episode we did on social media and things like that. That is one of the great advantages of internet and things like that, is because it kind of spreads the opportunity for people to come into your life, although that's not always a good thing, but there's more chance of it, I suppose. Yeah, I think so. A couple of times recently I said I've been getting a bit of counseling, I needed a little bit of guidance and I've got a lovely gentleman helping me with just a bit of direction in my life at the moment, but it was my gardener who's helping me get our house ready for selling and stuff. He was talking about a guy who he'd done some counseling with, and I just took that as I could have gone, yeah, he's just talking about some bloke he does a bit of counseling with. But it was just a few things that fired in me. And I just said, yeah, that's what I need. That's exactly what I need right now. A bit of wisdom, bit of an older guy, just to give me some wisdom and direction. And that was exactly what I needed, really. And it was just from chatting to this guy working on my garden who was pretty wise in himself and he wasn't saying, oh yeah, you need counseling. But for me, I just took that lead as it's the universe putting these steps in for you.  Sorry, for me that I needed and yeah, it really worked. See, I'm going to offer the counterpoint, I'm going to disagree, okay, because I think that's bollocks. It's not maybe not as strong a disagreement as that, but.  I don't know. Maybe for me, there's more to take from it, that it's important that you are open and you seize opportunities. I remember listening to someone was talking once about they did sort of a piece of research on people, on older people, on their deathbeds. And the thing that people regretted the most usually started with not  I didn't do did, I didn't do enough of I didn't say yes enough. It was never something they did. It was

Welcome to Men On Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man.  Doing that on purpose. I know we normally start with the clap  because we're going to talk about success. Success. See what I've done with the clap? Yeah. It's successfully messing up my recording. Yes, sorry. Well, it would just come up as, like, loads of little lines, wouldn't it?  Sync it. How are you? Successful morning. Yeah, well, get straight into what success is, because I've only had one session this morning, but I've got some stuff done, had a nice morning, recorded some stuff with you. I'm happy. So maybe that's a success financially, not as successful because not had as many meetings and not made as much dollar. We've already talked about bringing home the bacon. I had a successful morning. I had a lion. Yeah. Coffee in bed and have a lie in. Is that how you measure success normally? Yeah, I helped my relaxation. Yeah, I had a nice, relaxing morning. So, yeah, I felt quite. Relaxed cells. Definitely a success. It's another one of those we seem to be unpinning a lot of these in our discussions or uncovering a lot of these in our discussions where the word itself is very subjective and even gray and flexible and dynamic because the world's not black and white, is it? No. But then is that a modern thing? I wonder if back in the day, again, we talked about a bit on the Bringing out in the Bacon episode, but as success as a man, is that  directly related to how much money you make and how much you provide to your family? Some people, yeah. Lots of people is, I guess. What's your biggest success? Biggest success? Probably my family, my children. Tick. Yeah, definitely. And but  it's not all roses. There's challenges and stuff with family, but yeah, definitely. For me, having a family was big life success, but.  I wanted to achieve and how. Okay, sorry. I'm going to pebble questions with you to try and understand your definition of success. Then. When did you start feeling like you had been successful in barbecue? Successful in barbecue?  I still wouldn't say I was successful, but lots of people would, I guess. Okay,  I'm pretty be what's the word? Self driven with my career. So I would say I still wasn't successful. Is that more like you're not successful enough? As in you want to get somewhere else so you don't stop and take a look at, actually the successes you've had? Yeah, I'm terrible for that, I really am. I don't tend to stop and look at what I've achieved, which is probably quite a lot, really. Three books and big social media, but most of all, helping people to barbecue. I guess that's pretty successful. That does get me when somebody says, oh, yeah, I cooked one of your recipes and it was fantastic, or I've been on one of your classes and it helped me cook a lovely meal for my family. That is me helping others to succeed. I think that's probably knee.  And a good success really that if I can help others to success and to enjoy things, to enjoy barbecue, to enjoy stuff, then that's pretty good. I mean, I'd say this podcast is already quite successful. It's not necessarily numbers who have viewed it which is doing well, it's that we've already had people set up groups and their talking about supporting each other. It's that people have said it's really helped them. I had a guy come up to me at a festival I was at and he said he was pretty low  recently and he been having to listen to our podcast. It really helped. That's a success, I guess. 100%. Yeah.  You get like the devil and angel on the shoulder. I sometimes think of it more like I have like a little meditating Buddha on one shoulder who's really bit like that. Oh yeah, we've helped one person with the podcast, that's great. And then I've got this sort of businessman on the left saying well we've made no money, prime haven't sponsored us yet, what's going on?  We don't listen to him. But again, there's that.  I guess if

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man. Hello, mate. All right? You're right? Yeah, not too bad. Oh, Marcus. I've got a little bit of hot coal from the fire on me. I'm going to have a cry about it. What are you going to tell me? Man up, mate. Man the fuck up. As I've been told before  now, in that context, may be man up might be appropriate. I don't know if I was going to start balling. That's a rugby thing, isn't it? Man the F up lying in a sack of bones and blood on the pitch and slightly teammates. I like, man up.  We were talking before we started recording about it. Man up.  What's the issue with that phrase, do you think? Because I think, rightly, it's being questioned whether it should be said or not, especially to young men. It's hard because  I think that. There, you know, as I guess, old school.  I remember we used to get told to man up games, teachers, it's like, oh, yeah, do you want to do cross country? No, you're there sort of struggling, they tell you to man up.  But in these climates, actually being a bit more sensitive about people's needs, I think, is a bit more important as well, but that there is definitely something there that  rings true to a bit of toughness is needed as part of being a man, I think. Yeah. The world is a tough place sometimes, isn't it? So I guess you need that balance of  being able to  be a bit tough and get through certain things and the challenge and all that kind of stuff. I think the issue, I guess, from a therapeutic point of view, is we know that not talking about stuff, not paying attention to how you're feeling, feeds into a lot of difficulties, particularly men have with mental health, so. Like anything. It's context, isn't it? If I was, as a 40 year old man in tears because a bit of fire or cold well, maybe if I was on fire, fair enough. But if it was a bit of cold or fall on my shoe and ruined my shoe and I was crying, okay, maybe man, that's appropriate.  If I'm telling you that someone in my family that's close to me is dying or I've got some serious illness, you're not going to say, man up. And should you or somebody stood on the side of a bridge or something ready to jump, you wouldn't say no. But then I think what's difficult again with young people is my son's about three, three and a half. So the other day I was thinking about this, because he gets into a right state when he has his hair washed, and not even when he's got it in his eyes, just like literally the thought of it. But he's three and a half, and if I say to him, look, man up, life's tough, I think the danger would be that he would maybe bring that into other context and not feel like he could cry and express himself. Yeah. So I guess it's that balance of when you're using it, but also making sure you've got the other side of it and letting people know that it's okay to talk about their feelings and it's okay to struggle with something that other people don't. Yeah. Having some toughness is important, though, as well, I think. Yeah, definitely. But I don't necessarily know if toughness is.  Just getting on with it all the time. I guess it's a bit of a more subjective, deep topic. Woman to man up as well. Well, that's the other side. That's the other downfall with the phrase, isn't it? Because it insinuates that just men are tough, and if you're crying or you're being emotional, you're being a woman. And the other side of man up is another phrase you hear a lot. Stop being a girl. Yeah. Don't be a girl about it. Which really degrading to women. It's not necessarily the message we want for our young people, really. No, I think man up would be a better name for, say, some sort of knockoff Viagra product. Really does exactly what it says on the  Getting Lucky tonight. My man up. Yeah, I'm on my man up.  Toughness is a funny one, isn't it? Have you had situations in your life where you couldn't find that toughness?&

The fire is pretty good today, mate. Roaring is it going to set fire to the camera? The camera on fire, then I think we're all right. We're just starting recording a few on camera and see how it goes. Probably put these out on YouTube or something. So people want to see us chatting and engaging. They can do for some. People just want to listen. Some like to see more visual people, so we'll see how it goes. You won't get the benefit of my enormous guns if you're not on my pathetic guns, but my shirt. If you want to see my shirt, then you need to go over to YouTube. So there'll be men on fire on YouTube eventually, I'll get that set up. Not now, when they're listening to this. Yeah. By the time you listen to this, these guns will be viral. Yeah, I think they've got infection, to be fair.  What are we talking about today, mate? So what's this? Number seven, I think. On fire? Number seven. So, yeah, we're getting into our stride a little bit, I think. And you had put forward to me the title of bringing Home the Bacon. Bringing Home the Bacon, which made instantly two things popped into my head, probably neither of which to do with what you were saying. The first one, and it's a bit of a bone, why on the Men on Fire visual that we've got, does it make you look all lovely and handsome and my face look all scrunched up like some sort of deformed Kevin Baker? That was the better picture. That's the better picture. I mean, I've got mates that are ruthless and that one of them has said that my face is like a pork scratching. It's 90% gristle, but that just in case you're wondering if you haven't seen the YouTube, that isn't my face. All right, with all this sort of lines in it and curves is awful state of me on that. So we need to change. You look ruggedly handsome. I don't know, it looks like you could like no, you can't change it now. You change it and you mess with the whole algorithm. It looks like nothing would grow. You did approve it.  I didn't pay once. It. And the other thing with bacon, which we were talking about is I find that even with barbecue and with cooking and stuff, sometimes you can cook it to temperature or as it's supposed to be in the restaurant and still not like it. And what do you do with bacon? Do you cook to temperature? Because I need mine burnt and crispy. No, bacon is so thin, you can't really cook its temperature right. You cook it to how crispy you like it. So really, it takes a few minutes to crisp up either side. There's nothing worse than soggy bacon, though, is there? Exactly. But the level of crispness, there's an art in the level of Christmas, christmas crispy, July. There's an art in the level of crispness that you want and that's personal taste. Some people like it burnt to fuck, others like  others like it just right. You can't say fuck. The right level of crispness for me is just perfectly browning. So you bite into it, not so it's burnt. Okay, yeah, a little bit crunchy, but. Yeah, because I think we were cooking bacon a while back. I was doing a session with the young people and you said, all that bacon is nearly ready. And I was like, oh, see, to me it's not, but he is the expert. But you're saying when it comes to bacon, you are your own expert. Yeah, like a lot of things,  you like it how you like it, and that's okay. But I've got a feeling that given that this podcast is not about it, a, my deformed scrunchie face, or B really barbecue, you probably meant something else by bringing home the bacon. What did you want to talk about today? Yeah.  Money.  Bacon. Money. Bacon. Wonder where that comes from. Why is it called bacon? Bringing home the bacon? I don't know. Is it called that or is that just me? No. Yeah,  right in I've heard of it before. Bring home the bacon. Yeah. Money is great. It's amazing when you got it. When you haven't, it's pretty shit, really.  Does it make you happy? Does it make you stressed? I know that I feel quite a lot of re

Welcome to Men On Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man.  Men on Fire Part Six and myself and Sam are here again. We've now released the first three episodes, haven't we? Yeah. And so I've been listening back to them to make sure I know what the hell I've been talking about for the last sort of episodes. But we haven't had five or six come out yet. No, four or five. Hang on. What? We're six? Yeah, this is six. Right. We've had three go out, we've got four or five in the bank, but neither of us can remember what they were about. No. So, you know, me, I struggle with names and my name, but genuinely so, just getting back to some people, really,  but here's a name. Sometimes it's Time Lord. Can you get Doctor Who to pause it or something? It does feel like time is very in short supply at the moment for a lot of people. A lot of my friends I talk to are really busy and it's really hard. I know I struggle. I've got my barbecue stuff, I've got my oil work and family very much keeping me busy and I feel I haven't got time, but made time. Sit down. If we really prioritize that hobby, if we put health and I need to prioritize that and I need to find a time for that activity, that gives me space, you often can do it. And then the other side of that is sometimes don't let. Your expectations.  Don't let perfection get in the way of progress. So for me, I've always loved exercise, it's an essential for me. I've never had a problem prioritizing it. You can ask my wife about that. But in recent years, having a son, I can't take that time away to go to the gym for an hour and be home, and now what I'll sometimes do at 20 minutes session instead of nothing. Whereas in the past I would have said, well, if I can't do an hour, there's no point. So it's finding those kind of ways to get enough of what you need but still fit it in with your life as well. I'm terrible like that. So I really need a new hobby. Since barbecue became work for me, I'm somebody who needs a hobby. So I've been talking with getting a bit of counselling, bit of support, and one of the questions that the guy asked me was, what about a new hobby? And I was really into sailing, like, as a student, and when I couldn't give it 110%, then I stopped doing it. And it's the same with rugby, it was the same with karate. So last year I started doing karate with my son and I had it in my head straight away that I'd be like Mr. Miyagi or Cry and. The pressures of family took time, took over so that I couldn't do it every week. And I quickly realized that I wasn't going to be Mr. Miyagi and I really wasn't going to be very good at it. Karate. And that kind of killed it to me, really. I'm somebody who likes to be the best at what I can be and then I'll give it the time. So barbecue I was able to give the time to. And, yeah, it's hard because you want to do something the best you can, a lot of us, and then putting the time to it. If you can't put the time to it, then it's hard to focus on it, I think. Yeah. Although that's just me, maybe. No, definitely. And that's obviously important. It's different for different people. I would wonder, though, if maybe an activity that requires you to be the best in it, to enjoy it is maybe you have just haven't found that activity that gives you that complete release and maybe like a release of the pressure of being good at it, even just want to see the improvements. And that's fine because you can't be Mr. Miyagi times all of us can get. Okay, podcasting. Let us know. Ed, what sort of things are you into? Well, he said he hasn't found anything, so that's the first journey, isn't it? And I guess what you could do is look at scheduling your week and see, what kind of hobby do I need? Because, again, something like sailing. You're going to need a lot of time to do that, I'd imagine. You can't just nip in a boat for 20 minutes and fart around, actually live on the water. We've had feedback from a not man, a woman. A lady. Are

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man.  How you, mate? You're right? Yeah. Good, good, yeah. Hungry? I'm getting a bit hungry too, then. I'm always hungry this time of day. You got some nice beef smoking away over there. Yeah, that should be ready in about 7 hours. So that'll deal with my hunger. So diet. We were going to try and tackle diet today, which  I think it can be controversial because everyone's got those different opinions on things. And also my strong belief is that every human body is different anyway, so it's quite likely that different diets would work for different people.  There's a lot of stuff on social media now, isn't there, about diet and personal trainers saying this diet works, that doesn't work. And yeah, there's a lot of stuff. There's a lot of noise, definitely. I mean, I'm not a diet expert, a nutritionist or something, but I know what works for me. I finally almost 50, worked out how to lose weight myself. And yours is keto, isn't it? Low carbs. And yeah, I've I've worked out, but that doesn't work for everyone. So I know other people who've seen what I do, try and copy it, and it just doesn't work for them. That's okay. Definitely. And again, it depends where you go with it.  I try to look as much as possible at any kind of research that's been done around different diets, but even then, you can read different papers that suggest different things. There's loads of good evidence around keto, certainly for weight loss, but also just for longevity, even mental health, to an extent. I know they use at ketogenic diets for certain types of cancer as well. Now, I think, was an epilepsy. I think that's where it came in from. Okay. And I think for me, I wonder if the one connecting thing about a lot of these sort of diets that get pushed forward is that they just eliminate or lower processed food. Yeah, I was reading something the other to the extent that if you're actually having sugar that is natural, so cane sugar, honey fruit,  it has way less of a spike on your blood sugar levels than, say, stuff that's come from corn syrup or things like that. And I think with Keto.  You could potentially you would you would automatically eliminate a lot of processed food by cutting the carbs, wouldn't you? Yeah, I think, I think I mean, for my you know, I've I've been I care about what I eat, and so much so that when I couldn't afford good meat, I stopped eating it and went vegetarian for 14 years and then started back when I could afford good quality meat. Let it out, it's over, turn the corner. But, yeah, for me, good quality meat now is something I enjoy and I feel good eating. And for me, the keto wasn't necessarily  about just eating the fats and just doing it on a diet where I lost five stone and I've managed to keep that off now, pretty much, which is good for me, it wasn't necessarily about the fats, it was how I felt as well, in myself, in my head. It definitely gave me more of a clarity, which I like, but it had a big effect on my weight and my physicals as well. So you kind of did do it for kind of mental health or just overall well being, not just the weight. And I said to myself, this is it now, once I worked it out, this is how I eat now, not I'm going to reach certain amount of weight and then go back to how I was eating before, because that's not good  for me. I was vegetarian and I ate lots of carbs and I piled on weight, even though it was good quality carbs. A lot of brown rice, brown pasta, own bread  and. But I just piled on the weight through my twenty s, thirty s, early forty s and nobody had ever told me about fats and stuff and how they could be quite fats. And protein for me are quite fulfilling. And it was when somebody said, well, you can run your body on that. You don't need the carbs, the sugars to run your body. And and that was what opened my eyes, really. And  I think people get keto. A bit wrong. Th

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man. All right, mate, we're back. We're back for another episode. Had a little break, a few weeks, and then they don't need to know that. No, they know we're regular as clockwork. Yeah. Every week  we have to do sort of little bulk things because we both get so busy, which might not be a bad thing to talk about. Busyness, busyness. A good thing for your mental health or sometimes. Depends, doesn't it? Depends. If it's busy to overwhelm and you burn out, that's not a good busy.  I think you can also, like, you can make yourself busy, but you're not actually dealing with something sometimes as well. So that can be busy, busy, busy. Everyone's saying, oh, we're busy all the time, and are you actually getting stuff done or are you just busy? Yeah, well, I'm a nightmare for that. Doing ten things at once and not achieving any of them. Yeah, I think I'm.  That would be an interesting one to talk about, although we did say we were going to have a theme of social media but kind of gone off on a tangent already. But that can happen. Yeah, you can be busy on social media as well and you can be perceived to be busy on social media when you're not. You can be quiet on social media when you're absolutely balls to the wall busy and not having time to post. So, yeah, sort of fits with that a bit as well, I guess. Juicy  because some people listening to this might want ideas or things to do. And I certainly think something that's helped me sort of in later life is to recognise which activities are something I can be busy in, that are going to make me feel better afterwards. And they're something that's going to add stress and pressure. And by kind of identifying those, you can kind of use them at times when you are struggling or where you do need a bit of an escape. Things like barbecue is a good example of that, where you can busy yourself on making a dish but actually you're kind of escaping from everything. But going back to social media, what you just said there oh, you can appear a certain way and not appear a certain way. I think that's really important and something that people can easily forget. I know it, but I forget sometimes that actually what people are putting on social media is probably not their life. It's not. And that can, I think, create a sort of. A frame of observation where you're kind of looking at all these people doing these amazing things and think like shit, what am I doing with my life? It's not as good, it's not as cool. Are you much of a scroller? Are you someone that looks at what other people are doing much? I don't look at what other people are doing really. I sometimes just doom scroll and just a little bit of escapism. So for me, me, social media is a bit of a double edged sword. It's my work. A lot of people see what I do and if I create something new, I want people to see it. I need social media but I hate it as well. You sat there sometimes just scrolling away load of crap and you think what am I doing here? You just wasted an hour. You called it doom scrolling but then you said it gave it your escapism and I think that's the double edged sword, isn't it? People back in the day used to watch emmerdale they used to have I'm sure people still do or neighbours or something. They get home from work and they'd have that decompressed time. For me that's probably on social media doing that sort of similar thing. I'm not interested in watching like soaps and things and watching TV for stuff like that but I know some people need that and for me that's just kind of wasted energy but then just scrolling. On online. It's the boundaries between what's work and what's not work online that really I think I struggle with is that I am working most of the time, even when I'm just sort of looking to see some ideas and see what's going on out there and see what people are interested with. Barbecue there's, manage&am

A bit of an intro, who we are, what we'll be discussing in Men on Fire..