Never Stop Learning

This is a conversation I had with my grandfather, Amp, my mother's father. I recorded us on a whim after a family gathering to celebrate my return to Iowa after a year-long road trip back in 2021. 4 years later and a lot has changed in my life and in Amp's life. I moved back to Iowa in October 24' to be closer to him and to the rest of my family. I was able to be a caregiver for him several times a week for about 6 months before he moved into a memory-care unit in mid March 25'. He has had some rapid decline in his ability to walk and balance, he has also become regularly confused and forgetful. He passed away on April 27th, 2025. I was able to be there in the hospital with Nani for about a day as he slowly and without pain passed away. I had no idea the way things would unfold when we recorded this conversation years ago. He sounds so incredibly full of life and I am absolutely filled with gratitude that I have this recording of his stories and his personality.I have discovered an interest and calling to work in end-of-life care. This conversation is very meaningful to me because it feels like I captured a part of Amp's essence, his personality, his charm. He is who he is, and I love every bit of him. Thanks for listening and finding some beauty in these stories from my grandfather.

thanks for slowing down, taking some deep breaths, and listening to this episode about money, society, desire, community, and just like life. :)

it's okay to start something and not finish it. to do a workout one time. to paint a painting and not want to paint again for years. to read a few pages of a book. to make a healthy meal and not want to make it again. to go to a yoga class and not go back. to post a video and not want to create a content schedule to post more. to follow your intuition and your interests as they are TODAY. tomorrow is not the time to become your best self, today is the time to live with intention.

You believe that your future holds so much potential and then it becomes the present and you have to act on your ideas of who you want to be and what you want to accomplish. This can become an experience that leads to a lack of trust in yourself. Providing evidence over and over again that you fail at becoming what you have the potential to become.Go easier on yourself. Break everything down into smaller pieces. Do one thing today that will feel good to have done when you look at it tomorrow. Start with little wins.00:00 Managing Time11:22 Internet Spaces and Communities15:42 Local communities22:16 Big media and advertising31:07 capitalism & gambling50:42 sports betting as faux investing54:50 hoards of money are stagnant01:02:00 TLDR01:04:46 Outro

are our creative efforts our own under capitalism? must we transform our individual artistic efforts into a business plan to survive? this is a common predicament humans find themselves in these days.lets discuss :)

keeping up with and forming friendships these days feels incredibly difficult to manage. our lives have become more and more isolated as going out becomes more expensive and we become more familiar with a lifestyle and routine of staying in our homes and our little bubbles.

Share with others when your cup runneth over. Acknowledge when the time you spend in isolation isn't serving you. We all need rest, but if all we do is rest and unwind and destress in our own lil comfortable nests, it starts to isolate us from the stuff that fills up our cups. Don't worry about what it looks like to others when you try something new. Don't hate your body to get yourself in the gym. Don't despise the time spent scrolling social media in order to get off your phone. Don't look towards the things you want to eliminate to find your motivation for new actions. Honor your past and your ‘mistakes' and let them inspire your art. AND REMEMBER: WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW IS GOOD ENOUGH! IF YOU NEVER BECOME A ‘BETTER' VERSION OF YOU, YOU ARE STILL WORTHY OF LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE. YOU DO NOT NEED TO CHANGE YOURSELF OR WHAT YOU DO TO BE AN AMAZING PERSON, PARTNER, FRIEND, FAMILY MEMBER, AND HUMAN. love yall this video inspired by: ace of cups the lovers reversed 2 of swords reversed 4 of swords 6 of pentacles 7 of wands the sun the fool

art exists in so many forms. I often feel bound to do what ive already done, to do the kind of art I chose to do as a teen. It feels easy to let my past guide me to the choices and options I think I'm already good at. Being a beginner is intimidating and I think it can feel harder and harder as we get older. SO get out there and experiment. Draw a picture of your dog and then another one and another one and another one. Sing along to your favorite song and memorize the lyrics and harmonize and belt it out with all your heart. DO a puzzle. Cook a meal that youve never had before. Write a long letter to your grandmother and send it in the mail. Make a collage. do something just for the sake of being in the moment of creation. I love you! thanks for watching check out my other episodes and follow me @consciouswes on insta and tiktok :) --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

ITS NOT AS SERIOUS AS I TEND TO THINK --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

honoring a honey bee's life, commentary of cultural masculinity and emotions, some fun freestyles. Tune in for a great ‘sode :) --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

life is beautiful and SO ARE YOU. dont forget it! This episode is about my creativity, my flow, my freestyles! so listen in because you're in for a treat! who knows where we're going but let's have a good time on the journey! lol --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

today is made of choices. so was yesterday. so is tomorrow. it doesn't have to be any bigger than that. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

it's easy to get caught up in the idea of what we thought was going to happen. and when our feelings and energy levels differ from that we might feel like we aren't living up to who we should be. let's instead just honor how we're feeling I'm this moment and think about what we could do to honor and assist our current state of being. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

who you are is enough. all you gotta do is follow your interests. give stuff a shot. see how it feels. see what you're capable of. easier said than done. don't let others get you down. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

presence doesn't demand our attention the way other stuff does. we deserve some peace and quiet sometimes. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

dare to dream --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

we adjust to a change in our environment. we can choose to slowly inch our way into the newness or we can cannonball. either way, we have agency in how to approach the transitions I'm our lives. let's not take any hour for granted, we don't even get a million of them. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

stepping away from such a polarized view of life and of myself. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

thoughts on the critical mind and the positive mind. when we are scared we are thrust into authenticity. we don't have to have control all the time. presence can be a path towards acceptance and newness. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

come sit down with me for a chat about being alone, isolating ourselves with our addictions, and sharing our difficulties with the people we love. finding people to talk about the big life stuff with has changed my life. I hope you all can find some safe people to build community with. love you --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

so my jaw clicks sometimes when I talk. and I get so in my head about it. and I talk about it a lot during this episode but guess what!? you can barely hear it, if at all. So. this is a great example of the way that we can become obsessed with something that seems so obvious and annoying and noticeable to us, that other people can barely even pick up on. I can believe that I am so obviously an annoying jaw clicking talker that no one would ever want to listen to, but you would never think that. you'd say, what clicking? or you'd say, I can barely hear that now that you point it out.

its easy to get caught up in old tapes this episodes music is below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18NHV4nJLQc&t=1685s --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

does the guilt make it more pleasurable? if so, why? in a christian culture that tells us we are bad little boys, which is then projected onto a capitalist culture that tells us what's wrong with us in order to sell us a solution, there is a lot of suppression. suppression of desire, suppression of inner understanding, suppression of connected community, suppression of grounded knowledge. suppression or maybe repression? either way, it comes out in unhealthy ways when we are trying to force ourselves to live a life that we think will be acceptable and good to those around us. we deserve to be free. I love you thanks for listening Instagram: consciouswes  Youtube: consciouswes  Tiktok: consciouswes  All other links: https://linktr.ee/consciouswes --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

there's an experience of ourselves that becomes changed when we are perceived by others. "how can I take advantage of this solitude?" we might ask ourselves. it feels more ripe perhaps because solitude does not require a bold proclamation of what we desire. relationships hold a key of offering us the opportunity to express what we want because the people in our lives will not know unless we tell them. (and neither will we) So, perhaps the discomfort of relationship can be that we have not asked OURSELVES truly, honestly, regularly, what it is that we desire for our next 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 years. what a wonderful experience it is to be in relationship with ourselves and the people around us. and so let's ask without regret, without judgment, without shame, and WITH self-compassion, with curiosity, with a true desire to know ourselves and to take us where that desire may lead. that is human my friends. that is human. who is Chelle? -“I understand my self as a magical neurodivergent who found themselves through Reiki and now devotes life to practicing compassion for the self, embracing the messiness of the human experience and guiding others to find/see their own magic in the messy.  I have been honored to sit with clients in my Only Love Reiki practice for about 10 years now and will continue to follow my passion to sit with whomever, wherever and however they need, to find mind, body, spirit alignment and health through multiple modalities. Any person interested in sitting with me may find and DM me on tiktok @compassionpractitioner or FB at Only Love Reiki with Chelle McCoy-Jermain via messenger. I am available everywhere vis phone or video and do offer free phone consultations for the curious. 541-601-9749” - Chelle thanks for listening much love --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

discovering desire requires asking yourself what you want. it's often easier to think about what you want to avoid. what we resist persists. what we focus on is what we become. be your consciousbest --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

today we discuss: coffee, dealing with unexpected or sudden change, negative self-talk, resistance to regular action --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

opportunities. perspective shifts. slowing down. thanks for listening. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

I hold no moral judgment on the way we all spend our time. on our phones, watching tv, playing video games, doing puzzles, going out for drinks, exercising, eating at restaurants, etc. none of these things are inherently good or bad. I am simply observing the level of intention present when we make the decision to begin doing something. is our choice to turn on the tv right when we wake up preventing us from listening to our own intuition, our own desires? for me the answer is yes. and I'm interested in experimenting with living a bit differently, to make the space to listen to what arises within me. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

it's easy to overlook the impact we have on the people around us. I'm often so focused on how I am affected by my environment and how the people around me perceive me that I don't recognize my impact. why do we struggle to say exactly what we're thinking sometimes?  we can choose to lovingly acknowledge how we are without shaming and blaming ourselves. living authentically takes courage. I believe in us. :) much love wes follow me on tiktok @consciouswes  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

we all have a relationship with mornings whether we are conscious of it or not. how is yours? are you often rushing? are you productive? are you relaxed? are you stressed? do you snooze your alarm? do you have a set routine or do you just feel it out each morning? follow me on tiktok @consciouswes https://www.tiktok.com/@consciouswes?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

we can easily get in the habit of allowing others into our heads much more than we do ourselves. the fear or resistance to boredom is a huge factor in this. why would I choose to be bored when I could be enjoying interesting videos and tidbits from other peoples brains? you have interesting thoughts and tidbits. giving ourselves the space to remember how good it feels to take care of ourselves and becoming rooted in our knowledge of why we want to take on some level of work or discomfort is a practice that is invaluable. I hope you can find some moments of connection and awareness in this episode today. Thanks for listening -Wes --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

a big part of my life is doing things for the sake of getting them done. I think we all deal with this. And obviously, it's important to complete things. However, when we stop and realize that we have the outcome as the sole goal of our actions, we take ourselves away from the appreciation for what IS. the NOW. an action as simple as walking around a room with no destination in mind can show us how absentminded we become during most of our waking life. an interesting observation. Thanks for listening. Follow me on tiktok @consciouswes --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

If I spend my entire childhood with an experience that my effort is for others, whenever they demand it of me; I will develop an EXTRINSIC relationship with what my effort can create. It can make me an obedient student. It can memorize dates and algorithms, my effort. But do I love this kind of effort? Is it meaningful to me? What if I efforted on my own behalf? Do I know what that looks like? Am I grounded in myself when I take on something? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

What if you wrote down 10 things you want to do, and then chose one of them to do over a two month span; doing 6 of your 10 things in the next year. What if? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

live podcasts on Saturday mornings at 7:30amPST/10:30amEST on Tiktok/Youtube/Twitch: @consciouswes --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

exploring with your feet and exploring with your eyes. both offering a different perspective --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

much love --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

tune in for some commentary on life. that's basically what this podcast is. ur the best. :) -wes --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consciouswes/support

a response to a comment from @doorsofdurin on tiktok: "I like the juxtaposition between the desire to feel better and be better at feeling. some guru insights" follow me on tiktok and instagram @consciouswes thanks --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/support

follow me on tiktok and instagram @consciouswes thanks --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/support

follow me on tiktok and instagram @consciouswes --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/support

exertion. insecurity. waiting for invitations. inviting others. thanks for listening -consciouswes find the video version on Youtube @consciouswes or on Spotify. :) --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/support

limiting beliefs. becoming aware of our reactions. honoring where we are. take a deep breath thanks for listening -consciouswes --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/support

trusting myself. this is huge. this is the work of my life currently. interrupting my unconscious limiting beliefs about my abilities, my 'potential' (which is never out there somewhere, its not something that needs to be found, or caught up to), and my follow-through. Talking about them is a pathway to healing, and that why I do what I do. thanks for listening -consciouswes --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/support

what's up guys. the podcast is becoming something different and more fluid than I ever imagined when I started it back in 2020. I have experimented with all sorts of recording equipment, ways of putting my musings together, different music that I share, and shiiiiiii. I am honoring my flow by acknowledging the way I can access true expression when hanging out with the homies on tiktok live. and so this episode is a beginning and a reminder of how trusting myself can lead to incredible moments that have value for others and can help connect us. my dear friend, Morgan, hopped in a shared a beautiful moment and conversation with us and I am honored to be a vessel for connection the way that our paths crossed today. Thanks for listening!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/support

the pre-cat era is coming to an end for Julia. We talk about living with our partners and the communication that is necessary for cohabitation. Continuing to remember that tension isn't something to run from or avoid at all costs, it can be the doorway to closeness and understanding. Thanks for listening. Check out the video version of this episode of Spotify or on Youtube @consciouswes much love -consicouswes --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/support

welcome to the stream we slow down here thanks for listening --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/support

finding new things to listen to is my daily/weekly endeavor. I am in charge of what the looks like. and here it is. peace & love consciouswes --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/support

you don't need to get somewhere else or place your current position on the map of life to be okay or to be where you "need" to be. love where you are. it's where you're supposed to be. much love, consciouswes --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/support

allowing myself to take up this space in a way that feels calm, centered, and true. slowing down on purpose. thanks for being here much love consciouswes --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/consciouswes/support