Suddenly I Realised - A Sex and the City Podcast

Are we sluts? We know we are but what are you? Poor Carrie can't get her hole, hates dogs and has daddy issues. Vag and Maz make a sneaky cameo in Sam's apartment building, Miranda picks up a little something, and good old C-plot Charlotte's fella has a filthy mouth

Happy New Year party people, surpriiiiise, we're back! As we emerge from under our troll-bridge, we learn that Samantha can speak jive. Charlotte gets licked, and Miranda treads carelessly all over Steve's dreams. Aidan makes his first appearance, failing to notice Carrie's collection of red flags flapping in his face.

Tag from Friends turns up in this episode, in which Carrie displays some of the 90s homophobia we knew and ignored. More importantly, Alanis Morisette is the antithesis to Geri Halliwell as she under-acts a storm in this cameo. Charlotte dresses up as a boy, and nobody but Samantha knows what the world is coming to! Maz and Vag eat grapes.

As Vag and Maz can't help but wonder what horrors 2024 will have in store for them, they at least get to experience the joy of Magda's first ever episode and the delight of Pocket Coffee. Carrie's obsession with Natasha is more concerning than her obsession with Big, Charlotte York has a very Irish side to her, and Kevin the masseuse needs his stupid eyes checked. 

We are SO generous. The patrons got to hear this already but now the rest of the plebs get a listen. We made the hard choices in this episode, in which we discovered that Vanessa fancies Donald Trump, Mary has a thing for King Chuck, and everyone likes Melania. 

Speaking of erect, Vag and Maz decide which Irish politician they might boink. Leo Varadkar obviously but he wouldn't have us. We realise that Steve is the only character we've ever truly cared about, and Carrie is a law unto herself. Handsome politico Bill Kelly reveals an interesting sexual peccadillo, which of course Carrie handles in typically adult fashion...

We don't know if this episode is about firemen or fairy tales. The gals deign leave Manhattan for an hour or two, Carrie finds herself a handsome politician to fill Big's shoes, and Samantha diddles a firefighter. Meanwhile, we learn that Mary likes to waste the resources of Ireland's bravest when she cuts her knee, Vanessa wants to be rescued, and we all want Channing Tatum.

It's the season finale! We learn what happened when Mary got Mauwied. Maz and Vag are both disgusted by Miranda's behaviour when she's mean to Steve, and we realise that Beyoncé has a flaw. Meanwhile, Charlotte rides a horse, Carrie IS a horse, and Samantha's boyfriend is hung like a horse.

It's woman vs woman on this episode, and that's just our Maz and Our Vag. The writers would have us believe that the gals go on holidays by bus. They would also have us believe that Samantha would take guff from an upstart underling. We meet Natasha for the first time, thus bringing ol' Big back to us

Ahead of our full episode recap over on Patreon, we share here our first voicenotes to each other as Kim Cattrall made her triumphant return to the Sex and the City universe. Appearing for 70 seconds or so in the And Just Like That Season 2 Finale, Kim stole the show, and our hearts.

Up to date, as ever, with current cultural references, Maz and Vag discuss the recent coronation of King Charles III. Charlotte puts her fella to sleep, Carrie destroys her fella's sobriety, and Samantha is the obvious choice for a threesome with David & David. All is overshadowed by the tantric session. Miranda doesn't really have a story, but does take a load on her face, so there is that. Maz and Vag consider a career in Onlyfans.

We said we'd do a quick react, and instead whiled away almost two hours. Prepare yourself for the most awkward nudey scene ever as Miranda embraces physical comedy. We meet the most boring love interest in Handsome Producer. Anthony is horribly mistreated, and all roads lead to the Met Ball. This And Just Like That reaction episode is on the house, for the rest of the season go to patreon.com/suddenlyirealised

We can't quite believe our little ears and eyes. Kim Cattrall will reprise her role as Samantha in And Just Like That, and Vag and Maz are beside themselves. We capture our joy herein...

We bring you up-to-date references such as the Dalai Lama's faux pas, Joe Biden's visit to Ireland, and the April birthday of Vanessa's brother. In New York City, the gals experience various nightmares. Miranda pulls a single dad to the world's most obnoxious child. Mary replaces her father with Liam Neeson, and we learn that Vanessa's worst nightmare is a summer's day. Meanwhile, Justin Theroux returns as a different character. As Carrie's latest beau, he has a problem with early arrival. Charlotte is mean to Samantha and therefore in our bad books.

Vag and Maz are reunited after illness forced them apart for a whole month. We steal content from The Two Johnnies. We suddenly realised that, unlike Vogue and Joanne, we are poor and need your money. Clark Gable the dog does smelly rudies. We discover that Vanessa actually invented Milf Manor and Mary should be a psychologist. As for Sex and the City, this episode heralds the return of #poorskipper and other adventures ensue.

This week your host Maz is drowning in smugness as she announces she's set to get Mauid! Carrie insults Gloria Gaynor, as does Mary. Carrie finally gets Big out of her system forevs - JK! John Bon Jovi makes the second most iconic cameo in the series. We realised that good friends should listen to friends complain about their breakups, and that Vanessa has a mysterious pre-existing relationship with ‘Guy Outside Miranda's Window' George Hahn

For your listening pleasure this week, please enjoy Vanessa's sexy voice due to having a cold. We realised this many years ago, but it's always worth mentioning that Sex and the City is NOTHING without Stanford Blatch. Delightful as ever, he paves the way for the rest of us in finding romance online. In other unsurprising news, Big is a big dickhead, Carrie thinks speaking French means putting 'le' in front of English words. In a harbinger of dark days to come, Sam was barely in this one, and the other gals have absolutely pointless story lines. 

Miranda insists going to the doctor is ‘humiliating'. Charlotte gets herself a nice gay boyfriend. Big is a big dope as per and won't let Carrie keep anything at his place, and Samantha plots revenge on an old flame. Vag and Maz plot to hunt SJP down in Donegal, and we suddenly realise that it's better to have a doorman than a husband.

Ok fine this may be late but we realised this week that we're our own bosses so can do whatever we like! Big gives Carrie a gross purse and not much else, with the L-Word on the table. Leading us to be reminded of the fine line between tack and chic. Samantha encounters a worthy foe in Sum, and love guru Vanessa informs us that the best relationships are the ones where you don't truly know the person and you never will. Miranda and Steve get all 'Upstairs Downstairs' and Charlotte has a pointless storyline about being a groupie. Most importantly, we realise that Liam Payne on Will Smith is the preeminent piece of philosophy of our time.

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals! Never ever say we don't give you anything. In this sneak peak into the world of our Patreon channel, Auntie Vag and Auntie Maz solve your dating dilemmas. For more of our boundless wisdom, sign up at patreon.com/suddenlyirealised

We realised that Charlotte would make a man butcher himself to be more like a daschund than a sharpei. Miranda might actually be a bigger geebag than you know who, and it turns out Steve was a bit of a catch all along. Big, on the other hand, skilfully creates the illusion that he can change. We also suddenly realised that if you really love us you'll catch all our amazing bonus content on patreon.com/suddenlyirealised

We discovered that Vanessa thought she was American until she was 7. We realised that ageism is alive and well and yet to be challenged. We found out that Donald Trump is a better actor than Geri Horner nee Halliwell, and it comes as a massive surprise that an old man has the butt of an old man.

This episode contains neither chickens nor dancing. We realised this week that Carrie is in urgent need of telephone etiquette classes. Apparently professional designers should always make their clients a major part of their wedding party. We discovered that not only is Vanessa a wonderful person, but a talented doodle artist. And finally, we learned that the late Bruce Forsyth wasn't a perv (that we know of)

Just as we make our triumphant return, Vanessa gets fired for uttering the words ‘woke moment'.  We realise that life itself is a bigger geebag than Carrie Bradshaw. We discover that all lesbians apparently wear glasses, Big doesn't actually have a real job, and Vanessa is a VERY good friend indeed… she agrees to make fondu for Maz, and would also wade into her tunnel of love for a medical emergency. We ask the age-old question - do Americans have washing machines? But, most importantly, we realise it's about time the Martello pub in our home town of Bray sponsored us, or at least sent a hamper.

We discover that this crowd of harridans all hate animals and shouldn't be allowed anywhere near them. Carrie B makes a holy show of herself wearing black to a funeral, but she finally comes up with an excuse to ring Big, however flimsy. Samantha's ways get her in a little hot water with the wasp hierarchy, and Charlotte's silly hat leads her into the arms to a slutty widower. We also realise that you just can't compete with a dead bitch, and every man Samantha ever meets is called Richard.

We discover this week that Vanessa Keogh, in her own unabridged words, wanks to keep working. You should NEVER stay out all night if you have work in the morning, as Carrie learns the hard way. Miranda's had more sex scenes than Anna May Wong, Samantha patronises a server, and Carrie faces a task more gruelling than that of Edmund Hillary up a mountain, by going for a nice glass of wine by herself!

We realised this week that Vanessa's perfect man is in fact a monkey, the lovely Lynne Perrie has become the stuff of nightmares, and Miranda isn't quite the feminist she would have us believe. Our hero in this episode shares a moniker with an icon of the Dublin drag scene, queen of our hearts Samantha Jones experiences a rare and unfounded crisis of confidence, and Carrie's non-date banter with proto-Berger would sicken you to the very core. Most importantly, we learn that the Irish diaspora of the 19th century was EXACTLY the same as dating in New York in the 1990s.

This week Mary redeemed herself by finally presenting Vanessa with the hallowed ‘buke they couldn't ban', bringing our hotly anticipated Coronation Street/Sex and the City crossover ever-closer. We realised that domestic abuse was actually no biggie in the 90s, and the awful truth is that Charlotte Yorke has a really dark side and should never, ever, be allowed to have a dog.

We realised this week that Mary is on thin ice if she doesn't stop acting like her aul' pal Carrie B. Miranda steps into the geebag shoes this episode. We also discovered that putting the name of a fashion house on a party doesn't make it cool, and while this episode includes plenty of jazz, it is, sadly, lacking in jizz.

Mary was too jetlagged, after abandoning Vanessa to go to New York, to realise a thing this episode, but Vanessa certainly realised one very important thing - her co-host Maz is more like Carrie B than she ever thought. We also speak to New York City SATC tour guide, the delightful Christiana, and grieve on Samantha's behalf as she faces her biggest, and indeed smallest, challenge yet.

Scrawny fartbox Carrie Bradshaw has upset Vanessa so much this week that we realised very little. We did come to the obvious conclusion that nobody but Kim Cattrall can ever play Samantha Jones. We also couldn't help but wonder, if Geri Halliwell can come back to the Spice Girls, and Robbie Williams can come back to Take That, why can't Kim Cattrall come back to Sex and the City? Meanwhile, Big is still a prick despite more recent events.

What did we realise this week? No two people on earth can have the same name, Carrie Bradshaw insists on lying about her cycle dates just to create a fuss, albeit an internal one, and Robert Maxwell may very well be alive. Also, never, ever invite Vanessa to a baby shower. Well, invite her, but understand that she definitely won't be attending. 

What did we realise this week? Vanessa is more like Carrie Bradshaw than any of us realised. New year, new Mary - she's decided to become nasty in 2022. We realised that poor Stanford was abused by his so called bestie for many many years, and we remembered that SATC popularised the 'aul rampant rabbit.

We realised this week that we loved Big all along, so, everything we thought knew was a lie. Also, believe it or not, Vanessa is the good one. We realised that we have more than 1,000 downloads, so people actually want to listen to us talk! Heaven help them. It's time for those listeners to realise that we deserve a few quid to help us over our mourning period. Further AJLT content will be available only on Patreon. Get your fabulous asses over to patreon.com/suddenlyirealised and empty your pockets please!

What did we realise this week? The first ex-Mrs Big is Vanessa's perfect woman, Miranda's so-called friends are so dreadful they drove her into therapy, and serial killer Rose West, who is alive as it turns out, has more in common with Carrie Bradshaw than one might think. Jack The Ripper is also alive and well, living in 90s New York and grooming Charlotte.

This week we realised that the ladies thrive when Carrie is not around to make it all about her, Big's gaslighting skills know no bounds and Vanessa can name all the kids from The Sound of Music, albeit in the wrong order (as Mary kindly pointed out)

We realised this week that Mr Big is an empty vessel. If you cut him open what do you get? Dust, and a bit of semen. Vanessa is a sucker for a bit of eyebrow acting, and Mary would ruin a perfectly good slutty outfit with a sensible cardigan. #VirgoForeva Support the show and our future wealth at patreon.com/suddenlyirealised

What did we realise this week? Nobody looks good in a Laura Ashley nightdress; you can't get pregnant if you keep your bra on, and Vanessa can't say benevolent... or can she? This episode also includes a terrifying appearance by Bob from Twin Peaks, and we can't help but wonder... will #poorskipper ever take off? 

What did we learn this week? Being clumsy is only cute if you happen to be skinny, Samantha Jones missed her calling as a nightclub bouncer, and, most importantly, we were reminded of the age-old adage - a hole is a hole. 

This episode is dedicated to the memory of the late Willie Garson, who brought us so much joy as Stanford Blatch. And what did we learn this week? Stephen King ain't no Channing Tatum, and Mary is a Virgo among Virgos.  Most importantly, it turns out Carrie Bradshaw should have been invited to lead the Irish peace process along with ol' Billy Clinton himself.

What did we realise this week? Give Miranda a compliment and it's down with her pants. Yo' man ain't safe around Carrie Bradshaw, and Samantha is, of course, as good looking as a model. Enjoy a special guest appearance by Mary's neighbour's dog, who does evenentualy pipe down!

What did we realise today? That Carrie has questionable work practices, and you can write an article about...well, any old rubbish and still get paid. Plus we discover that Vanessa literally does not know what the word 'literally' means!