Upfront & Undivided

Welcome back to the exciting adventure that is our month of May. We have gone on a couple of trips and had some fun adventures and conversations.In this episode, we are talking about growing with and knowing your person. If that is your spouse, your child, parent, friend, or coworker, do you know who you are communicating with, and how best to communicate with them? We talk about some strategies and pitfalls in learning how best to grow and cultivate a great relationship.Have a listen, and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

It is our anniversary! After 13 years of marriage, and over 14 years of being together, we are here, standing strong. We talk about ups and downs, tears and smiles. Our struggles are what make us who we are and what we share.Isaiah 40: 30-31 - "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (NIV)Have a listen, and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Happy Easter! The Lord is risen!We are so excited to share our chat with our good friends Levi and Shannae. They have been through some battles, and they wanted to share their journey and their victory. We also talk about our past interview with Dustin and Torrie (Ep 60).This episode talks about the serious subject of pornography. It breaks our hearts to learn how many deal with this, and we want to give hope to all of those that are wanting to break the cycle and grip of it. Here are some statistics that we shared: (from an article from May 2022)Over 40 million Americans are regular visitors to porn sites. The average visit lasts 6 minutes and 29 secondsThere are around 42 million porn websites, which totals around 370 million pages of pornThe porn industry's annual revenue is MORE than the NFL, NBA, and MLB combined. It is also more than the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC.47% of families in the United States reported that pornography is a problem in their home.Pornography use increases the marital infidelity rate by more than 300%.Eleven is the average age that a child is first exposed to porn, and 94% of children will see porn by the age of 14.56% of American divorces involve one party having an “obsessive interest” in pornographic websites.70% of Christian youth pastors report that they have had at least one teen come to them for help in dealing with pornography in the past 12 months.68% of church going men and over 50% of pastors view porn on a regular basis. Of young Christian adults 18-24 years old, 76% actively search for porn.59% of pastors said that married men seek their help for porn use.33% of women aged 25-and-under search for porn at least once per month.Only 13% of self identified Christian women say they never watch porn – 87% of Christian women have watched porn.55% of married men and 25% of married women say they watch porn at least once a month.57% of pastors say porn addiction is the most damaging issue in their congregation. And 69% say porn has adversely impacted the church.Only 7% of pastors say their church has a program to help people struggling with pornography.Have a listen, and let us know what you think.If you want help, or want to talk, you can reach us at upfrontandundivided@gmail.com or info@firmfooting.coach, or you could reach out to a trusted friend or pastor. Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Join us as we give an update on what is going on in our lives! We have a new website - firmfooting.coach. It is going to be the online home for our Relationship Coaching. Please feel free to check it out, and let us know what you think!We are also talking this week about getting along and communicating through difficulties and working on a frustrating project together. How do we act and react when it is the project or task that is setting us off, and not our spouse? Have a listen, and leave a comment.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Have you ever felt like life is getting a little crowded? Maybe you've let something into your marriage that isn't supposed to be there? How many people are in your marriage? That is what we are talking about in this week's episode.Have a listen and let us know what you think!We will be speaking for 4 weeks - Marriage Supplements. Starting Tuesday, April 8th, at 6:30pm, 9900 View High Dr, KC, MO.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Come join us for our latest episode - The Echos. We are talking about how our pasts can create echos in our minds that can distract us from our present.What do we do when those echos come up? How do you deal with the echos?In a way this episode is similar to when we have talked about fingerprints.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Welcome back! In this week's episode, we are sitting down with Dean'na's brother and sister-in-law, Bob and Dawn Cates. They recently celebrated 36 years of marriage. We had the honor of sitting down with them, and asking what nuggets they have for couples.Love ServesServe your spouse with intentionHave a listen, and let us know what you think.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

In this week's episode, we wanted to talk about flags, especially red flags. What are some red flags? How can we avoid them? Why do we ignore them?We share some of the red flags we have encountered, and what we did with them.Join us, have a listen, and let us know your thoughts.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Welcome back, everyone! Thank you for your patience.It is now the new year, and a time for new beginnings. What is on your boards for this upcoming year, or season? We are starting new projects and upgrading others.In this new season, we are talking about equipping and training ourselves to be better for us and for each other. In marriage, we get to carry a weapon and a tool with us at all times. That way, we are ready to fight off attacks when they come, and build each other up at every opportunity. Just like the story of Nehemiah, while they were rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem.Nehemiah 4: 16-18 "From that day on, half of my men did the work, while the other half were equipped with spears, shields, bows and armor. The officers posted themselves behind all the people of Judah who were building the wall. Those who carried materials did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other, and each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked. But the man who sounded the trumpet stayed with me." (NIV)Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Christmas is here! In this joyous season, we wanted to sit down and share some smiles and thoughts with all of you. We also brought a special guest with us, Sebastian!From our family to yours - Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year! May the closing of this year, and beginning of the next be covered and blessed by God.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

How do we talk about what our lives were like before we got married? Do we tell our future spouse all of our deep dark secrets? Do we reveal all of it to God, and allow him to make us new? These are some of the questions that we are talking about in this episode.Join us as we talk about battling towards restoration.Drop a comment and let us know what you think.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

The Holiday season is upon us! Thanksgiving is this week (tomorrow from our recording), and Christmas is right around the corner. The stress of everyday life can be heightened, or more noticeable, during this time of year. So what do we do about it?We recognize it for what it is. We talk about it. We confront it, and deal with it.We also talked about how two people in a marriage or relationship, will have preferences about how things happen. What do we do when those preferences are not the same? Dean'na likes listening to music throughout the day, Luke likes quiet. Is this a big deal?Sit down and have a listen to what our thoughts are on this. Let us know what you think, and share this with your friends.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Hello listeners! Welcome back to another episode!This week we are talking about the thoughts and questions that can bring up feelings of regret and resentment. What can we do about those thoughts? When life hits and emotions get raw, where does our relationship g0? Do we keep out priorities straight? At those times, we do our best to talk to each other, pray about what is happening, and go on a date to reconnect.Have a listen to this week's episode, and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Welcome to our latest episode! We hope and pray that all of you are doing well and staying healthy in these times. We also pray that you and your families are surrounded by His comforting peace.This week we wanted to talk about something I call 'Ripple Therapy'. It came up during a conversation that if something happens in your marriage or relationship, after the initial "shock" is over and you both move past it, there can still be after effects that creep into your daily life. How do we deal with those little ripples left over from the big splash?Have a listen, and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Just because we know each other, doesn't mean that we know everything about each other. Throughout marriage, we will go on many adventures and journeys. On those adventures, we might have different highlight reels from it. We could choose to downplay those differences, or we could celebrate them. When you go on a trip with family, you won't have the same highlights as everyone else, and that is OK."We were together, I forget the rest." - Walt, Whitman, paraphraseHave a listen, and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Welcome back! We are talking this week about covering in a marriage. What covering are you providing for your spouse and family?Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

We wanted to take a moment to remember why we are doing this podcast, and other related projects. Come along as we talk about some of the foundational elements that led us to talk about relationships and marriages.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

For this episode, we wanted to think of some fun and functional things that couples can focus on, on a weekly basis. We came up with VITAMINS!VocalizeIntentionalTimeAdmireMoveInitiateNegotiateSexy-TimeHave a listen, and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

What do you say when something your spouse enjoys doesn't interest you? Do you feel like you have to go along with your spouse's plans? When you have these types of disagreements, it is normal to disagree. How you handle it is what matters. Creating a safe space for your spouse to have different interests or activities is a healthy part of every marriage. The key is to ensure that those differences do not take place of, or diminish your marriage. Listen in as we discuss some ways to have those healthy disagreements on activities, and learn some strategies to improve your communication.James 1: 19-20 "Know this, my dear brothers and sisters: let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger for human anger doesn't produce the righteousness of God." (TLV)Have a listen and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

In this week's episode we are talking about potential. What is potential? How can we realize it? Most importantly though, we should not base our relationships on the potential of others. That can be a costly trap. We need to encourage each other and help each other grow.Have a listen, and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

We're back from our brief Summer break! We hope everyone is doing well.In this episode, we are talking about having a Critical Spirit. How can we recognize it and overcome? It is something that we can see in our family, friends, and spouse. It is something that can be dealt with together, as we work as a team.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

This is our final installment of the "Questions from the Audience" miniseries. It has been great to see the questions from all of you, and for us to answer them. We do our best to help all of you get your own conversations going in your own relationships.This episode looked at three questions:1) How do you talk with each other about the things the Lord is speaking to you about?2) What are ways you have found to be the best way to support/encourage each other?3) If one of you needs "rest", how do you address this so that emotions don't get in the way?While we were talking about these questions, we also hit on a theme of rejection. What are some ways that we can reject the spirit of rejection in our relationships?Have a listen and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Welcome to Part 4 of our amazing series where we are answering questions from our listeners! You all are the best!In this episode, we talk about physical support. The question was - How do we support each other in physical health in marriage? We talk about different aspects of physical health, and different ways to better ourselves while encouraging our spouses.Have a listen, and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Welcome to part 3 of our Questions from the Audience series!In this episode, we are answering the following question - Explain the process you two went through in becoming one in marriage the first five years... coming from different lives to one life. Was it hard? Easy? What were the challenges? What was the fun part? Hint: keep talking...Sit down, have a listen, and let us know what you think! We are always open to answering your questions!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Welcome to Part 2 of our Questions from the Audience Series!In this episode, we combined a couple of questions because we felt that they go so well together.What are 2 or 3 hooks the enemy tries to bring into marriage to get Christians off course?What is the thin line between comparing a relationship to admiring a relationship?Let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

We asked out audience for interview type questions, and you responded wonderfully.Here is Part 1 of our Questions from the Audience Series.What is a healthy age to begin dating? Is the length of dating time up to the couple? How do you know when it's marriage time?We give our insights and thoughts on these questions. Talk it out with each other and with God.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Episode 100! Thank you so much to all of our listeners for your support and encouragement! THANK YOU!This week, we sat down with Hunter and Caila Driscoll to hear their take on some practical things about marriage. They share how to live your marriage while also being parents, business owners, and in the ministry. They bring a lot of wisdom, and laughter, to the table, and they are a treasure to have in our lives.Have a listen, and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

This week, we sat down with some good friends of our that we share our lives, our hearts, and our home with. John and Tracy Flager are gems in this world, and we encourage everyone we know to let them into your lives. John and Tracy sit down with us and talk about some of the ups and downs of being married and parents while also navigating the landscape of working in ministry.Sit down, have a listen, and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Hello! In this week's episode, we talk about Living Out Loud. It might sound like an odd statement to some, but it boils down to how do you walk out this life? When you are out and about with your spouse, do people see that you two are married? Do they see that you are a Christian? What do people see, hear, and think when we don't let our words do the talking? If after interacting with us, a person found out that we are Christian and married, would they want to learn more? Would they be encouraged? Do you walk out what you talk about?For additional stories and background, also listen to Ep 48 - Do I Look Married?Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

We always encourage couples to pray for each other, and to always think and speak the best about each other. In this episode, we talk about the importance that your spouse hears those words. Throughout the day, you can think amazing things about your spouse, even treat them great, but if you don't say those great things out loud to your spouse, how does that affect them? Just like a garden, or our children, what your spouse hears you say can build them up or tear them down.Deuteronomy 32: 30 "How can one chase a thousand and two put ten thousand to flight, unless their Rock had sold them and Adonai had handed them over?" (TLV)Have a listen, and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

As a follow up from our last episode, we wanted to highlight that there are other options available to all of us. Many times we fall into patterns because that is what we were taught, or experienced. It doesn't have to be like that any more. We can be changed by the power and encounter of God. That encounter can change our patterns and our past. Remember, just because that is how it's always been, doesn't mean that it has to go that way still.Psalms 16: 9-11 "I'm happy from the inside out, and from the outside in, I'm firmly formed. You canceled my ticket to hell—that's not my destination! Now you've got my feet on the life path, all radiant from the shining of your face. Ever since you took my hand, I'm on the right way." (MSG)Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Welcome to Extreme Dating! We often talk about dating and courting, and the need for boundaries and expectations. In this episode, we are mainly talking about dating/courting after your first marriage. We know that sometimes, marriages end, and we are not fans. When that does happen, it is not crazy to think about getting into a new relationship, when the time is right. People need to be careful when wading back out into that pool though, not everything shiny is good for you, or your family. This is why you should be extreme in your boundaries and expectations, because now you aren't just dating for you, you are dating for your children, and they will follow the path you take. We also discuss possible first date locations and fun ideas.Have a listen and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

This week, we got the privilege to sit down and chat with some good friends - Cecil & Marsha Garrett. We got to talk about marriage, and an exciting project that they will be starting this year. We love seeing the things God has done, is doing, and will do in their lives and family.Have a listen, and let us know what you think!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

We talk at the beginning of this episode about Accountability, and finding someone that you can be accountable to. For a deeper chat, please check out Episode 58. A longer title could be 'Looking for Hope vs Not Wanting to Get Hurt, and Where is that Balance'. We know that would be a bit too long, so we shortened it. So where is that balance? We have been in previous relationships, and we know others have as well. We know that there is a journey and struggle to want to look for hope after you have been hurt, and sometimes a dread of 'If I get hurt again, will I be able to recover?'. We break down some of the struggles that can come with this journey, and we also give some direction towards hope, and the One that grants it. Come along for the ride, and let us know what you think. Did this help you?Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Hello all! This week, we are taking some time to check-in and let you all know what is going on. It is important that when you are on your journey, that you have an accountability partner, and regularly assess how things are going. This episode is our first check-in. We have great things planned coming up, and we are looking forward to all of you joining us for what is next.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Yes, it is the start of a new year. Yes, we know that "New Year, New You" is overplayed.We wanted to take a spin on it, look at it from a different angle. You are still you, you haven't changed, but your outlook and attitude has. We start this new outlook by being grateful for what is in our lives, homes, families. We thank God for what is in us and around us. Next, we remember that His mercies are new every morning, and day, and year, and moment, and season. He has renewed us. He can renew us. And the best part is that the same power in Him, and in Jesus, is in us, as His believers. So we can make things new! How exciting! What you you working on to bring newness into your life today? Celebrate those attempts at newness!Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

This will be a short episode. We have dealt with some health concerns in our home, and it has taught us some good lessons. One of those lessons is that we need to find time to rest. Not just rest to "get better", but to rest in the Father. What does it mean to rest in Him? What should we do if we need a greater level of rest? Come have a listen to our thoughts on rest and rebooting.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

Happy almost Christmas! Yes, we are getting ready for Christmas 2023 here, and hopefully you are too! For this episode, we wanted to sit down and talk about believing in the journey that God has set out for our lives. So often, we want to ask God for things and we want to dictate what it will look like, but God has a better plan in mind that doesn't look or sound like our idea. We know that God's ways are higher, and these are the moments when we get to remember that and lean more into Him. When life throws a curve at us, or when God calls us to something that is above our ability, we can tap into the Holy Spirit to equip us to be successful in the upcoming journey.Jeremiah 29: 11 "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." (MSG)Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

We all have those times at the end of the day, or after work, when we need to decompress and let out the stress of the day. This is normal, we all do it. We don't do it in the same way though. Just like how we all communicate in different ways, or charge our batteries differently, there are different ways that we decompress so that we can feel normal again. Listen in as we go over some strategies to navigate decompression together, successfully.How do you decompress?Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

This week, we will be celebrating Thanksgiving. It is a time that we pause to remember all that we are thankful for, and how far we have come on our path. Remember that God has been with you on all of your ups and downs in life, and He has covered you. Celebrate what God has done in your life, and encourage those around you.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

In this episode, we sit down and talk about Marital Aids for communication. What are some tools that we use to start conversations? We have some books and a couple of phone apps that we look to regularly to get us talking about random things. It is important to keep the lines of communication open and strong in a relationship. So whether that conversation is serious or funny and odd, it is important to get talking. Some of these conversations starters can lead to exciting or revealing talks, so enjoy where it takes you.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

This week's episode is about getting help. It might be help for your marriage, your spouse, your friend, or yourself. Always know that it is never too late, and you can always get help. Help can come in many forms - pastor, counselor, therapist, friend - and it can take a while for the journey to healing. We have touched on some of these topics before in previous episodes (Ep 54, Ep 60, & Ep 16), so feel free to go back and listen to those again.Let us know if you found this information helpful.1 Corinthians 7: 12-14 "But to the rest I say—I, not the Lord—if any brother has a wife who is not a believer, and she agrees to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if any woman has a husband who is not a believer, and he agrees to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy through the wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy." (TLV)Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

In the past (Episode 6), we talked about Love Languages and communication. In this week's episode, we wanted to talk about something we call your "Love On" Language. It is the language we use to communicate our desires to each other at the times we aren't able to be intimate with each other. So when you are in a season in your relationship - illness, injury, distance - when you aren't able to be as physical with each other, build these tools so that when those seasons come, you are prepared.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

In life, relationships, and in the Kingdom, it is important to know what are tools are, and also to make sure that they are ready for use. That is what we are talking about this week. All of the 'tools' that you have in your arsenal, or tool shed, should be well-maintained and ready for use. Also, just because you have mastered one tool, or strategy, it doesn't mean that you won't need to use it again sometime in the future. We can't make progress if we aren't consistent. Remember, you aren't starting over from scratch, you are starting over from knowledge and experience.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

How many people are trying to 'conjure' God to intercede, when that is manipulation. Prayer, Worship, Honor, Praise, and Supplication is relationship with God.We have talked about patience and waiting on God's timing, but are we trying to hurry God? Are we saying that if we pray just a little louder, God will hear us and act for us sooner?That is what we are talking about in this week's episode. Sit down with us, and have a listen. Have you fallen into the trap?Psalm 37: 4 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (ESV)

If you have been listening so far to our latest few episodes, you know that some health concerns have come up for Dean'na. We use that situation to look at other types of sickness, or hurts, that we can allow into our lives and relationships, and how we can move forward. Should we sit in what is going on, or should we go through to the other side? How does God want us to handle this situation?

Episode 80! Thank you everyone, you are the best audience!As we continue our journey together, we want to share and encourage all of you to not just fight and stand FROM a position of Victory, but we also get to DECLARE our testimony NOW, while we are in the middle of our story. Remember, when going through a struggle, or celebration, involve your friends, your community. Not only do we get to have relationship with God, but we get to have relationship and community with those around us. Also, if you do not have a community, let us know, you can reach out to us, and we will stand and pray with you - upfrontandundivided@gmail.com.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

We all know that life happens. It doesn't matter if you are married, single, a parent, or friends, life happens, and will it will try to knock you down and out. At times, we refer to that as 'Going through the suck', because those are the moments that suck you down and suck your time, energy, attention, and sometimes finances. When those moments hit, or after, you need to take time to reconnect with your spouse. Take time to date your spouse again. All married couple should continue to date each other, but it is especially important in these times that you need to reconnect after a trying or tough time. When you do go on your dates, be mindful to be in the moment with them. Be present and purposeful. Also, don't be afraid to try new experiences, or something that your spouse likes, but you aren't a fan. Your attitude could change the outcome, and make it a positive experience.Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

In this episode, we share a diagnosis and how to prepare for the battles that will come in this world. Recently, Dean'na was told that medical testing had found a tumor near her armpit. We are standing in victory and on the promises of God. It was caught early, and it is getting taken care of.In this world, struggles, obstacles, attacks, trials, and difficulties will come. We are not surprised that these happen, and the Word of God tells us so. The Word also tells us to be prepared and lean on Him in these instances. How do we prepare for battle? We pray, we study the Word of God, we focus on what He wants us to focus on. We also remember our past testimonies and the testimonies of those that have gone before us. We remember what God has done for His people, and the authority that has been given to us, through Jesus. Have the best week! Enjoy the journey!

In marriage and parenting, many different situations and emotions come up. One of the biggest keys to success is consistency. Being consistent is a huge part of your character. Your family is able to rely on you, and feel stable and secure, when they know that you are the same person, same attitude, no matter what location or people you are around. This is especially important in the Kingdom of God. When raising children, consistent parents are more important than the things you can buy. As a spouse consistency is more valuable than the flashiest diamond. When you walk this life strive for consistency - in your values, in your walk with God, in your actions, and in your words.Matthew 5: 37 "But let your word ‘Yes' be ‘Yes' and your ‘No,' ‘No'—anything more than this is from the evil one." (TLV)Have the best week, and enjoy the journey!

So often we hear about the 'No's' of a relationship - You can't do this, you shouldn't do that, avoid this, etc. When starting a relationship, or getting ready to, it is important and helpful to focus instead on what can be done. Finding the 'Yes' of the matter. This shift in focus will help align your priorities and give you a more positive attitude. By focusing on the 'Yes', you can start building and walking into what your are aiming for. One of our favorite illustrations on this is to think of a field, rather than focusing on what you can't do outside of the fence, look at what can be done, or needs to be done, inside the fence. Many times, we need to prepare the ground before we can build or plant. What are you doing to prepare your ground?Colossians 3: 12-17 "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves in tender compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience— bearing with one another and forgiving each other, if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord pardoned you, so also you must pardon others. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfect harmony. Let the shalom of Messiah rule in your hearts—to this shalom you were surely called in one body. Also be thankful. Let the word of Messiah dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another with all wisdom in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Yeshua, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." (TLV)Have the Best Week, and Enjoy the JourneyMusic: Savour The Moment by Shane Ivers - https://www.silvermansound.com