Good Night

I drive a klunker. You can hear me coming for blocks. Klunk, klunk, bang bang klunk. I love that sound. It's a guy sound. I says I'm a guy, I don't care that I have to drive through a nasty neighborhood by myself at midnight. I'm a guy. I can take care of myself. Klunk, klunk, klunker, bang, bang. My buddy Mike has a brand new Chevvy Corvette. It goes vroom, vroom. But Mike hardly goes anywhere in it because he doesn't trust parking it on the street. Vroom, vroom attracts the bad guys. But who gets to go first when we come to a four way stop sign? To find out, give a listen to this podcast.

If you're new to our "Good Night" podcast, you've picked one of the two I've most enjoyed doing . And as of now I've done more than 800 of them. And if you've been with us for a while, you may be able to figure out what the "Topper" was. Either way, thanks for tuning in. I really like having your ear...here.

A new car was definitely not written in my plans just now, but look in our garage...there one sits. Expensive? Yes. About as much as most of one retirement year will probably cost. Of course, you never can tell. My life hasn't usually run according to plan. On the whole, it's been a little like buying a box of chocolates, and eating the first goodie, and finding another layer under the one on top. Of course sometimes the second layer turns out to have 6 legs, and scurries away as soon as light hits it. I wonder what kind of "Second Layer" will this car turn out to be. Give a listen to this podcast please. That would represent a bit of that second layer...picking up your ear...here.

All my "Little income tax write-offs,"played baseball. And not just the guys either,. My pretty, talented daughter not only played baseball very well, she did something her brothers and I backed away from. She took a jump off a 40 foot New England cliff and calmly went for a swim...every Summer. It was a very emphatic answer to a very clear gender question. Give a listen. It'll clear up any questions instantly.

You're too busy for your life. You need to take part in this podcast which gives you...DON'DO WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO DAY, DO WAHA, DO WAH. Don't want to do your diet today, don't make up your usual excuse..."I've been dieting too long...if I lose any more weight, I may disappear." Just tell somebody giving you a hard time that it's your "Don't do what you don't want to do day." Listen to this podcast and you'll understand. And...you will lead a happier life.

She screams at me just because one or two wheels come off the ground when I turn around a corner. She yells "WATCH OUT" if I so much as bump into a sidewalk to avoid a red light. One wrong turn getting off a highway, just because it's an on ramp, you wouldn't believe the language. When I swerve back onto the road, as a safety measure, nothing but criticism. She's so nice other times, but it's getting so as this podcast admits that I really hate driving when she's in the car, with me.

SHAZAM! is the word that turned an ordinary kid by the name Billy Batson into Capt. Marvel! A genuine MAGIC WORD. SHAZAM! is a combination of magic words that you'll hear in this Podcast. But you'll hear an even more powerful magic word "Bespake unto me" by my Lady Wonder Wench.

I think if you listen carefully enough you'll hear a strange rooting around sound. And you may feel something new under your feet.. if you believe hard enough, this podcast claims you'll "see" lots of lively flowers getting ready to SPRING out of the earth, making things super pretty.

Lovely ladies make certain sounds. They're different from the sounds that guys make. Although when those ladies are lovely, the sounds that guys make tend to be not only different, but...loud. Give a listen to, this podcast, and I think you'll understand what I mean right away.

This podcast is full of good questions. See if you can answer... ANY.

Hey Guys...DO NOT FORGET VALENTINE'S DAY. And Ladies, have you prepared a Valentine's Day Soft Surprise? I hope so. Story is the first Valentine was given by a priest named "Valentine". He was jailed for some reason, and fell in love with his jailer's daughter. He left her a simple note. He said, "I love you", (signed) "Your Valentine." And this podcast tells you what happened after. Give a listen. And give a Valentine's Day present of some kind.

February only has 28 (or 29) days, Don't cheat it out of one of it's letters...one of the Rs. It's FebRuary...not FebUary. Hey, would you go for some BUSKIES. Of course not. Listen to this podcast and you may never again make this godawful mistake again.

American men have lost 50% of their testosterone since 1981. That could go a long way toward explaining the current pilot shortage...and maybe a problem in your life. Give a listen to this podcast. You can never tell.

I got my Flue shot the other day. Fascinating experience. They drain your blood, and replace it with a weakened shot of the flue, the reason for which doesn't make sense to me, but if it keeps me from getting that stuff again...all hail Flue Goo. Give a listen to this podcast and see if it makes any sense to you.

Everyone I meet these days is disgruntled and argumentative. Democrat/Republican/Independent/ Climate change believer and non believer. Pro Palestine believer vs Pro Israel. So if you want to stand out and be different, re-Gruntle your self. This podcast has some ways you can do that. Please give it a listen. PLEASE!

It's a lesson in how good we have it here, that those people will go through so much to live here. But the "Sanctuary Cities" can only do so much. This podcast is my idea for an actually workable solution. Please let me know what you think. And if you think this solution would work, please let your favorite politician know.

If you listen carefully enough to this podcast, you'll hear the voice of someone who's...gone. Try it. It's free.

The power of Christmas, for me, is in the Magic of Memories. Like the ones in this podcast. Merry Christmas!

The Partridges in the pear trees Went...TOOI FAR! W A YYYyyy too far.

"Christmas is how a room feels when all the gifts are open, but you're the only person left in the room." That's how a very young Christmas fan described it to me. And I think you were absolutely right Al.

It's time for ho, ho, ho-ing. This podcast has the funniest Christmas story…ever…plus one story that's almost spooky. And isn't that how Christmas has always been? Give a little listen please. No matter how you feel right now, this podcast will make you feel…a little better..

That's Life...I guess. I didn't expect my body to attack me...so soon. I had no idea I'd get so old so soon. And you won't either, But there are lots of good things about that too. One of those things is "Been there & done that." In some ways there were lots of laughs involved...and of course there were some things that weren't laughing matters...in fact there were some significant tears. BUT...they were all spent with "My Lady Wonder Wench." And that made the tough times kinda bearable. All in all...my life has been good...so far. Please don't screw it up now.

A story about Manhattan, and lots of stuff about Wolfman Jack in this podcast. AND a question you may be able to answer. Please give a listen.

Yackety Yack...all over the place. Politicians hardly stop for a breath. Your druggist is getting that way, too. And the gas station guy. And let's not forget relatives, like your uncle. WE NEED SOME GUM CONTROL. And this podcast encourages that. Please give a listen. Follow the new rules. And insist that everybody else within listening distance of your voice shut up for a moment and LISTEN.

Some messages on your Email are important. Others are like 95% of mine. Like the one from a guy in South Africa who wants to send me the fortune left to me by my 6th cousin fifteen times removed, since I am somehow identified as his only living blood relative. Just send him my Mastercard numbers so he knows where to send the money. And another from a genuine Florida witch doctor who has discovered a magic formula that will instantly remove 9 pounds returning me to my best looking body, which will entice a beautiful young Russian woman who will want SEX with absolutely no effort on my part, for only a small subscription price. (Subscription will automatically renew every week.) Listen to this podcast only once, then DELETE.

The five important elements of a news story are, who, what, when, where, and why. And the most important of the elements is almost always "WHY". Why did some big wheel do what he did? Killing somebody is an awful crime. Unless you do it to stop him from killing somebody else. We give medals (justly) to guys who kill lots of other guys who are wearing a different uniform. Almost everything is done in a CONTEXT. A "WHY". Why don't you give a listen to this podcast? You might like it.

My ring finger is a lot longer than my pointer finger, which is proof that I am bursting with masculinity. That's true. Ask somebody with a genuine MD hanging on his wall. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M TOXIC. Give a listen to this podcast. It may teach you something about guys.

You hear a lot about Dis-Gruntled Post Office employees right now. In fact...these days it seems like everybody is Dis-Gruntled....everybody. When you pull a plug out of the wall, YOU'RE DISCONNECTING something electrical. This podcast is about disconnecting your Dis-Gruntle. For God's sake please listen to this podcast. And get at least one other Dis-Gruntled person to listen with you. It's time we all DIS-GRUNTLED ourselves.

Once upon a time, a long time ago, my Lady Wonder Wench went...'wanton" for me. It was quick. Way too quick for it to be something she did on purpose...and it changed our lives. We like to think that our minds always control our bodies. In this podcast, you'll experience the opposite of that...I'll give you a couple of quick examples of that...your body controlling your mind. It'll be fun. Give a listen please.

I lied about my music selection. I really enjoyed Elvis with "Love Me Tender." I have suffered from a lack of adult supervision for a long time. But the "Suffering" has been good. Most of all, this podcast says warm cookies and cold milk ''are good for us. And so are Oreos.

This podcast is about a bitter bathroom battle. Fortunately I won in the long run. This was a battle guys can't lose...especially when their girlfriends are around to see it. Give a listen please.

Lots of beautiful stuff this time of year....The tree leaves explode in fantastic colors. There are chill winds and blue skies everywhere. But I'm going to miss the lazy, crazy, hazy days of Summer for the next 7 months...till SPRING!

It's raining again.

What's that you say? Don't you remember Johnny Carson? He had it on his show...and it was one of his funniest bits ever. Give a listen to this podcast. Near the end...it'll remind you of what Sis Boom Baa is all about.

My Dad's name was also Dick, so for a long time I was called "Dickie." As in "Little Dick." Some of my close relatives still call me "Dickie." Which confuses my Grandchildren. I like being called "Dick" for reasons I'll explain in this podcast. Give a listen please.

I came across this podcast from a long time ago today. And I kinda like it. I hope you do too. It's about flying different kinds of airplanes, and grocery shopping, and having some laughs with my Lady. AND NO POLITICS.

Klunkers are guy cars. Driving a klunker says, "I don't care if I break down at midnight in a bad part of town. I can take care of myself." And...If a guy driving a sleek new Caddy, and a guy driving a klunker both get to a four way stop sign, guess who goes first...because he's got not much to lose. And klunkers are...inexpensive. Klunker drivers never have to worry about parking. Just double park wherever you have to. Leave the keys in the ignition if you like...nobody is going to swipe a klunker. Give a listen to this podcast and feel better about kunking around.

This podcast is about the sometimes fine line between something sinful and something grateful. And there's a verbal back rub squeezed in there for the fun of it. Don't miss this one...no matter which side of the sinful or grateful fine line you're on.

One of the many benefits of being a Louie Louie Generation Girl or Guy is that we have learned (usually the hard way) the great benefits of taking a moment to THINK when faced with a big decision. There's a story in this podcast about a young couple who didn't do that, and are now faced with the biggest decision any young couple can face. I hope they'll takes some time to think about what they do next. I think they will. And I wish them all the best. They're good "kids." Give a listen please.

How hot is it is a loaded question. Here, Near Boston, it's pretty comfortable. Where my brother Jeff lives in Texas...a whole different story. In Texas IT IS HOT. This podcast is about getting...HOT. Give a listen. Several of my friends indicate that they got comfortable with this podcast. They keep it close by them, because this podcast is so cool.

Listen carefully and you'll probably hear it.Dum dee dum dee, dumb dee dumm. INDY IS HERE. Well no...it's really just me...BUT I'M WEARING MY INDY HAT. It's actually about a half size too big for me...but it's not too big for my ego. One of the reasons I like Indiana Jones is that he isn't a super hero. He has a regular job. He's a teacher. Of course I'm not too sure that ordinary teachers inspire pretty lady students to print "I love you" on their eye lids, and sit in the front row...and slowly close their eyes. He makes me think that with a little more exercise, I might be able to answer the music with my fedora and whip, and do wonderful stuff like he does. Give a listen, and if all goes well. you can join in the fun with me.

"The world is flat...look for yourself" Wrong! "Boiled milk...Louie". Lots of things you've been taught MAYBE wrong. This podcast says, take another look...preferably over some burgers and brewskies.

This is IT. My favorite time of the year. SUMMERTIME. Big Louie, "his own bad self" likes it too. And he tells you about his "Toilet Paper" description of how time flies. And there's a true story about the nice Summer day when my girlfriend Matilda caught me standing next to a pretty, half naked girl. Plus there's one of my favorite Bedtime Stories around 3/4 way through. Give a listen, please.

If a phone rings while a psychiatrist is with a client, does he answer it by saying "I can't talk to you now, I'm shrinking?" I have a shirt that says it's "Shrink Resistant." Does that mean it shrinks, but it really tries hard not to? If the pretty nurse measures you, and she says you're 2 inches smaller than you told her you were, should you hide your face...or any other part of you in shame? I say, "NO!" Because...YOU SHINE!!!! Give a listen to this podcast. It'll explain.

Sometimes I do one of these podcasts, and I hear it back, because I'm up and wandering around in the middle of the night, and it feels good...like the friendly pat on the fanny that a pitcher gets from the manager, when he's thrown a good game. This is one of those podcasts. It combines a fantasy about "Saving" my Lady Wonder Wench from a Saturday night with a bunch of single, handsome young guys at a ski lodge, and taking her for a fascinating moonlit night when I had my airplane. Please take a listen.

When you're feeling old...like when The Lord said, "Let there be light"...you flipped the switch. When you think it would be a good idea to go to your dentist and have him put braces on your dentures so you feel young again...when you swear you can feel your wild oats turning to shredded wheat... listen to this podcast. The story in it is called the "Slip Away Wife". Even she will make you feel a little better. Smarter. Younger.

Some women have them to excess. Like my Lady Wonder Wench. Curves. On paper. Handwriting. As in what is fast becoming a lost art...CURSIVE. Women and girls use Cursive. It's way too complicated for guys. Come to think of it, women are too complicated for guys to understand...period. Wonder Wench is writing another novel in cursive. I understand it has a semi happy ending. You think it's going one way, then she throws one of those curves.

It hit me..."The home of the brave"...at a minor league baseball game...what that really means. And it's a bases loaded walk off, bottom of the 9th home run. Doesen't matter if you're a Republican, a Democrat, or just confused. If you're an American...or you want to be...if you listen to this podcast...next time the ball game starts...you'll sing along... ...with your hand over your heart.

I don't mind that Mr, Story Man helps My Lady out of her clothes, and puts her to bed every nigh t. I call him Mr. Story Man because he tells her sexy stories every night at bed time. All stories can be sexy the way he tells them. And I don't mind a bit. Why don't I mind that she looks forward to seeing him every night? Give a listen to this podcast. It might surprise you.

I was on the air at WNBC in New York, when it happened. I was doing a live commercial, and a woman with evil intentions sneaked into the studio and did it. Her fingernails felt like 12 inches long. And they were gliding up and down my back in a spot I couldn't reach by myself. As I recall, the commercial sounded a bit like this: "So dom't wait till it's too late. Go and buy some gezorninplatz . ..oooohhhhhhh.Give a listen please.

The difference between lingere and underwear is one plays on your fantasies and the other is just laundry. That's Victoria's secret. It's often the difference between a friendship and a romance. This podcast tells you about the fantasy that we might share that changed my life. Give a listen please.