Podcasts about Wench

Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 30 Time For Celebrating! In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels.   When I fell to Earth I realized perfection; Earth has everything while Heaven has no Evil. "Ask Belle," I replied. "This fight was for me being allowed on the bed. You still need to pay for breaking into her room." "What?" Leigh squeaked. "Come here, Slut," Belle laughed. She hooked an arm around Leigh's waist from behind and began dragging her back into the house. "Zane?" Leigh called out fearfully. "Coming, coming," I groaned. "I feel like someone dropped a cinderblock on my head, and my ribs." I staggered for the door only to be intercepted by Willa. "You are one freaking weird dude," she whispered. "You have no idea," I responded softly. As she came alongside, I put my arm around her waist, then down inside her panties, and cupped her right ass cheek. I gave it a good squeeze. I figure Willa could pull away or punch me in my sore ribs. Instead, she bumped my hip and put her head on my shoulder. "Have you ever been with another woman?" I asked. "No," she regarded me. "Willing to experiment?" I teased her. She smiled, snaked a hand along my back to my neck and finally grabbed a handful of hair. She pulled me down into a kiss and finished with her own devilish grin. I took that to be a yes. We made our way back to Belle's room, where Belle and I stripped out of our wet clothes. "You don't have to handcuff me," Leigh begged of Belle. "I'll behave." "I know you'll be a good girl, but I don't care. I'll do it because I want to," Belle taunted her. Leigh pouted and looked my way. I shrugged helplessly in response. She stripped, crawled to the middle of the bed, rolled onto her back, and put her wrists together just below her breasts. "I'd rather fight than be a victim," Belle mocked her as the bindings clicked shut. "No, that's some cock, you skank," Leigh wound up her courage. Belle's response was to retrieve the vibrator and turn it on. "Calling me a skank makes you feel tough, eh?" Belle closed in. The vibrator began rubbing against Leigh's thighs as I settled into the bed behind Belle. Willa resumed her position on the far side after she stripped down. Belle gave me a curious look over her shoulder before turning back to Leigh. I snuggled into Belle before nibbling and sucking on her neck and shoulder. As Belle pushed the vibrator between Leigh's labia, I ran my left arm down Belle's back and parted her ass cheeks. I could feel Belle look over her shoulder again, my lips were sucking on her shoulder at that moment, and visually question what I thought I was doing. I could sense a struggle going through her mind by the increased tenseness of her shoulders. She had to be deciding if she would let me distract her or not. A moment later she made up her mind; she bent her leg and pulled her knee toward her chest to make my access to her easier. I scooted farther down so I could move my hand below her ass and begin stroking her cunt, back to front. Belle wiggled the vibrator inside Leigh's cunt as my fingers worked her over. She kept it going until she felt my cock pushing past her ass cheeks. Belle didn't caution me about her anus; she didn't have to. When my cockhead touched her cunt, Belle responded by looking back at me, daring me to stick it in. "Do you want me to stop, Belle?" I gazed into her eyes. Belle's response was to suddenly push down on my cock, pushing it half way in with one thrust. "Fuck," she hissed. I grabbed her hip and finished driving my rod all the way in. I quickly withdrew, then slammed it home again. At the same time, I moved my right hand, pinned underneath me, under Belle's body, until I burrowed to her pelvis. Belle began humming as my hand reached her slender landing strip. I also noticed that her activity with Leigh had lightened up. Her cunt walls strongly massaged my cock's passage and the stimulation was soaking up more and more of Belle's attention. The vibrator cut off. Belle had dropped it so she could start pulling and pinching her breasts as my four fingers began to vigorously rub her clit. For five minutes I kept going at her sideways until she grabbed the sheets so she could shove her body into mine and almost pushed me off the bed. Her climax seized her, her breath came in short gasps and tremors passed from her body to mine. "Damn it," Belle cursed. It took me a moment to figure out what she was pissed about. She began thrusting back against me. "Still hard, huh?" she growled. Why, yes I was, but I wasn't going to tease her about it. I missed the visual exchange between Willa and Belle but the end result was Belle giving in, letting Leigh off the hook. "I'm getting on top, Zane," Belle demanded. What proceeded was a bit of bedroom acrobatics but I kept my cock inside as I moved towards the bed's center while Belle swung up to a reverse cowgirl position. I pushed up, palms on the bed behind me, and watched her ass begin to bounce on my lap. At first, Belle rested her hands on my shins and used that to balance her rocking and thrusting of the hips. "Don't, Zane," Belle panted as I pressed my chest against her back. When I wrapped my arms around her, she made one last protest. "Oh, damn you." I hugged Belle tight, my left arm around her stomach and the right around her chest. She slowed down for a few seconds before turning her upper body so that we could kiss. Our tongues flickered against each other, then slowly danced back and forth between our mouths. "I really should bite you right now," Belle sighed. "What the hell for?" I muttered. "I'm going to have to look across the room now and find a reason for not jumping your bones, you idiot," she breathed in short bursts. "Someone likes being 'Zaned'," Leigh teased. Willa slapped her somewhere; I couldn't see where. "Shut up unless you want to be tied up all night," Willa whispered. I was busy letting my hands migrate over Belle's tight body now that I had 'permission' to sex her up. I let Belle lean into me. Her hands cupped her breasts while my hands went from her shoulders to the top of the tits but avoided the nipples. I skated around her upper chest, linking my hands over her pulsing abdomen then lightly traveling down to her thighs. "You are not in a hurry," Belle observed breathlessly. "It is our first time," I reminded her. "Oh," was all she had to say. Her body rubbing against me was her real reply. It was with gradual ease that we upped our tempo until Belle finally 'gave it up' again. This time I came with her, and I completely spaced about a condom, again. Belle writhed her body against mine for almost a minute as we regained our composure and our breaths. "You came in me, didn't you?" Belle said seriously. "Yeah, I screwed up. I'm sorry," I groaned. "What are we going to name our kid?" Belle showed a tiny bit of mirth. "I'm partial to Beausephus if it is a boy," I told her as I kissed her neck, "and Andromeda if it is a girl." "Our kid is going to kick ass," Belle laughed. "Aren't you on the pill?" Leigh wondered. "Listen, you stupid Cunt," Belle twisted on my semi-rigid cock so she could lock eyes with Leigh, "do I look like I can afford Healthcare?" "Answer me, Bitch," Belle began wiggling off my lap and out of my arms. "Let it go," I begged Belle. "Don't think that just because you have my cock in my cunt, that makes me your bitch," Belle growled to me. "As your friend, I'm asking you to drop, 'my cock'?" I hesitated. "Just because MY cock is in your cunt doesn't make it your cock," I teased. "Crap, slip of the tongue," Belle mumbled. "It's okay," both Leigh and I said. "Several of our girls feel that way," Leigh added. "We feel possessive about that cock." "What she said," I finished. "That's why when it is not attached, I keep it in a locked box." Belle snorted and Willa and Leigh laughed. "You went with the detachable cock?" Belle stared at me. "That's so sad." "Hey, now," I blushed. "I have a horny naked biker babe sitting in my lap, with my cock in her cunt. I'm a little shaken up right now." "You can be real trying at times," Belle leaned into me compassionately. "What? You said you wanted me to try your ass?" I joked. "Okay." Belle's vaginal muscles constricted around my cock, exciting me to hardness again. "You rip up my ass and I'm going to rip off your balls," Belle grinned shark-like. "Your? No, I meant Willa's ass," I verbally back-pedaled. "Look, she's sitting there, ass up looking all inviting, lush, and full-formed." "You wouldn't dare," Willa smirked at me. By her own accounts, Willa loved anal sex, but apparently it wasn't something she normally shared. Belle's instincts were leading her past the deception. "Are you freaky, Willa?" Belle mocked her friend. "Hey," Leigh piped up. "Barbie Lynn likes it and she's no freak." I rolled onto my side, trying to let Belle slide off my shaft. "Am I going somewhere?" Belle turned and joked with me. I shrugged, put my left hand on her shoulder and pumped into her hard several times. "Okay, okay," Belle panted. "Go bang Willa. My cunt is still tingling from the last orgasm, Stud." Belle twisted onto her stomach which allowed my cock to pop free. Belle moaned sensually and lay there for a minute with her eyes closed. Dangerously, Leigh crawled over Belle's still form, retrieved something from Belle's nightstand, and handed it to me, lube. Leigh must have seen Belle pull it out and lube up the vibrator before shoving it in. Belle wasn't a total sadist. I slipped beside Willa who kept drinking me in with her eyes. "Where do you think you are going with that?" she said. Willa remained on her stomach, her ass proudly pointing up and proffered. "Would you like to try anal?" I winked. "I'm sure if you try it, you'll like it." "This won't make me your Old Lady," Willa teased back. "I'll try it. Let's see what you've got." "I only want to make you happy," I breathed into her ear. Willa shivered in anticipation. I brushed her hair to the far side of her head then kissed the top of her neck. Willa began to murmur pleasurably as I trailed butterfly kisses down her spine to her tailbone. A single finger stroked farther down to her cunt and down to her pubic mound. Willa was only lightly shaved, keeping her bush full. The return trip lingered around her anus, pushing slightly and making Willa moan. She opened her legs farther and farther apart as I continued to rub her gently. With my free hand, I opened the tube of lubricant and let it pour down her ass cheeks. I teased her sphincter twice but abandoned it to rub the thick liquid all over her cunt and perineum. Recall that Willa was going through a long, dry spell -- being an undercover officer in an outlaw biker gang, so she was bursting at the seams for sexual contact. "Damn it, Zane," she pleaded. "Willa, you are a freak," Belle chuckled. "Watching him work has gotten me so horny," Leigh whined. I ignored the peanut gallery; I was dripping oil on my three middle fingers, pushing my forefinger against Willa's sphincter. Willa must have really liked her experiences with anal sex because she relaxed her sphincter on contact and let me in. Man, her asshole felt hot compared to the slight chill of the room. My finger corkscrewed past the second knuckle when Willa let out another heartfelt moan. I pushed in a little farther while resuming my kisses on her back. Inside a minute, Leigh had sidled up to Willa and me. Belle had propped herself up with her pillow on the headboard but was studying the three of us intently. "You are acting like you've never seen a three-way before," I commented to Belle. "Not from the outside looking in," Belle shrugged. I had no immediate comeback to that. Saying something like 'maybe next time,' or 'enjoy the show' felt inappropriate. I devoted my attentions to Willa once more instead. Speaking of Willa, she was now relaxed enough for me to stick my ring finger into her anus. I noticed Leigh getting terribly interested in Willa's arousal. "Willa, rise up. Push up off the mattress for me, Babe," I coaxed Willa. She looked back at me, smiled lustfully, and began raising her ass. A few more twist and turns with my fingers and Willa was up on all fours, head down, and her face screened from view by her long, black hair. I was about to encourage Leigh but she was already slipping under Willa and putting her lips to Willa's closest tit. Willa's grunt rose over the sound of Leigh's suckling noise. I had to move completely to Willa's rear to allow Leigh more room to maneuver beneath Willa. Leigh's right hand quickly sought out Willa's cunt while her left began caressing Willa's right breast. I had to admire Leigh's enthusiasm as well as her willingness to not hold Belle's rough treatment against Willa. Belle began to rub her cunny as she watched us play. I also caught Willa shake her head ecstatically when I wormed my third finger into her butthole. "Someone's all excited," Leigh giggled, as she lifted up her fingers that had been in Willa's cunt for me to inspect. They weren't just slick; they dripped with her juices. Finally, Willa had enough. "Enough foreplay, Zane," she gasped. "Put that big cock in me. Stick it to me now." "Ask and you shall receive," I replied. With one hand on her hip and the other one on my rod I placed my throbbing cockhead against her mildly gaping sphincter. I could literally feel the breath slowly exhale from Willa's body as my cock first slipped inside her anal cavity. "Zane, Zane, Zane," she exulted softly as I inched my way inside her rectum. I had been wrong all this time; I had thought I'd never find someone who liked anal sex as much as Barbie Lynn, but here she was. She was tight, hot, and damp. By the snug fit I could tell she had abstained for some time but her reactions were pure pleasure, to me and her. I could also feel Leigh's fingers vibrating rapidly within Willa's cunt as well as her vaginal muscles squeezing them back. I let my penis sit there for a moment before withdrawing all but the head. I repeated this three times, with Willa moaning louder each time I thrust my deepest. "Hammer her," Belle demanded. "Her ass, her rules," I chastised the head Warlord Babe. "Hammer me, Zane," Willa virtually screamed. O-kay then, a hammering I will go. I plunged in without mercy. The first thrust nearly toppled her over but on the second one, I held her hips tightly and she pushed back to meet my attack. The loud smacking of skin began to echo throughout the room. "Don't, stop, un, til, you, fill, me, up," Willa gasped between lighting swift penetrations. I felt like my hips were moving in a blur. Willa's whole body was a mass of spasms beneath me. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," Willa gasped, then she squealed. Yes, squealed like a little school girl. I didn't relent, though. She had told me to keep going, so 'hi-ho, hi-ho, it was off to fuck I go'. I caught sight of an exhausted Willa turning her head sideways and mouthing something to Belle through her mass of hair. Belle tilted her head, then shook it in the negative. "No, you can't keep him," she explained to Willa but for my benefit. "Too many people know he's here. Wait until you get Zane alone before you take him." "Hey! That's our line," Leigh spoke up indignantly. "Kappa Sig property." "You had better put those lips back to work on Willa before I put this vibrator back to work on you," Belle threatened. Leigh huffed, then went back to lip-smacking Willa's tit. "Shit, shit, shit," then a squeal from Willa once more. Damn, that had been a fast one. After that, Willa went down to her elbows, smothering Leigh with her tit. Leigh responded by going hog-wild on the whole breast biting and chewing on the whole damn thing. "Jesus Christ!" Willa howled, followed quickly by the loudest squeal of them all. Her body contractions dissipated what remained of my self-control. I began ejaculating, grinding my hips hard into her ass and plunging to the farthest depths yet. Willa collapsed in a state of perpetual groaning. Belle was kind enough to pull Leigh free before I collapsed on Willa. I barely had the strength to prop myself up on my elbows so as not to crush Willa beneath me. "Willa," Belle mused, "you really are full of surprises." If only she knew, or maybe it was better that she didn't know. It took a physically devastated Willa several seconds to reply. "You aren't going to give me shit about this in front of the other girls, are you?" she asked. Willa was a probationary Warlord so her reputation was incredibly vulnerable. "Yeah; let me see," Belle ticked off events; while massaging Leigh's half-raised leg from knee to inner thigh, "From the sounds of it he nailed Fontana Palmer thrice; before coming up here, kicking my ass, then fucking me so good all the lights came on. Then he rolled you over and plowed your ass through three orgasms, no." "They'll strap Zane down to the pool table for one hell of a weekend," Belle pointed out. "All the guys will resent him for that, so they'll bust him up and put him in the hospital where he can't perform for a month. Then the female riot ensues. I don't need that kind of hassle." "Thanks for looking out for me," I mocked. "Eh, you are almost a friend," Belle smiled. "Okay, on that note I'm going to take Leigh and leave," I began getting out of bed. Leigh had enough common sense to look to Belle for permission before climbing over Belle's legs and hopping free. "Try to keep the noise down," Belle teased as I opened the door. "I think Leigh's cunt has been abused enough for one night," I shook my head. "We are going downstairs to cuddle." "Nah-uh," Leigh said as she grabbed my hand. "Penetration, orgasm, cuddle; that's the way it's going to go." "No, wait," Leigh corrected herself. "Penetration, orgasm, orgasm, cuddle is how it's going to go." I'm sure Willa and Belle heard my groan of despair as I shut their door. "Leigh, your cunt looks much abused," I told her. "How about we not have sex tonight?" "After all I went through, please," she begged. "How about we have a sex-date later this week," I suggested. "I want to spend some time with you," Leigh pouted. "Leigh, I have Fall Break this week," I informed her. "We can have as much time as you like." "You do?" Leigh visibly perked up. "Oh, thank God," she then moaned. "I can barely walk, I'm so sore." "Do you still want to cuddle?" I asked. "I'd love to, Zane," she sighed, as she put her arm around my waist. "I want you to know that if it wasn't for Tawny, we really would keep you as our sex slave," she added lovingly. Yay me. "That's it," I snarled. "I'm going to go over there one night, tie all of you up, and butt-fuck the lot of you." "Oh, that sounds like fun," Leigh giggled. "Would we be tied up side by side so we could watch you do it to the sister next to us?" "Are you taking freak lessons from Rio?" I wondered. "Because you are starting to scare me." "Nope. Frankly, with the way she wields that strap-on, she kind of scares us," Leigh confessed. Ah, an unlooked for benefit of my Direct-to-Video lifestyle; I have provided the World with a warning label for Rio. Speaking of Rio, when we arrived at the sofa we discovered that she'd crawled up on it and was fast asleep again. I draped my blanket over her then curled up with Leigh in the quilt I had originally taken out for Rio. I lay down on my back and Leigh curled up on top of me. She started to say something to me but was overtaken by a yawn. She put her ear to my chest, yawned again then started snoring. I must have nodded off right after that because the next thing I knew Jill was shaking us awake gently. "Leigh," she inquired, "are you staying for breakfast?" "Sure, Aunt Jill," she yawned. "Let me get cleaned up and I'll help out in the kitchen." "Thank you, dear," Jill grinned. Leigh scampered off to the bathroom while Jill went to the kitchen. Rio was blissfully asleep still. I followed Jill into the kitchen and leaned against the counter while she soaked a paper towel under the faucet. "Did you sleep well last night?" I questioned. "Oh, Zane," Jill smiled serenely, "I learned to sleep through your antics several weeks ago." She dabbed my cheek, the one Belle had popped last night. It stung but I manned-up and took my mothering like a big boy. I made sure the ladies upstairs were awake before doubling back on my room to get dressed for Church. Fontana and Valarie propped themselves up and took in the show. As I was making sure my tie looked good in the mirror, I caught Fontana smacking her daughter in the forehead. "Sleep with that young man, damn it," she advised forcefully. "Subtle, Mom," Valarie groused back. "I mean, he's standing right there." "What do you think, Zane?" Fontana chuckled. "Do you mind me giving my daughter some helpful advice?" "I'm not going to step into that conversation, Fontana," I evaded, "and Val, that was a mean thing you did to Leigh. Belle was unforgiving." "She should learn to use a door like a normal person," Valarie smirked. "I am just warning you that Belle is particular about her private space," I cautioned her. "Valarie, you should clear the air with Belle," Fontana advised her daughter. "This is her home too and her territory." "I'll take care of it," Valarie yawned then shrugged. I had the feeling she wasn't taking this seriously. "Let's get some food, Mom. I still need to get dressed for Church too." Oh, Valarie didn't know the half of it, but I managed to keep Rio and her from ragging on Belle when they learned that Belle had lost a 'bet' with me and had to wear a dress to church along with the rest of them. Rio turned out to be hangover proof. Jill cooked up a wonderful breakfast and Leigh received her measure of revenge when she, Belle, and I had to go over to the Kappa Sigma house to find a dress that fit. Oh, those sorority girls were walking a thin line between cordiality and an ass-whooping because Belle wasn't in the mood to take shit from anyone. Tawny was a big help and Jersey provided the acceptable black dress for Belle to wear. Ricky provided the stockings and shoes. "The first one to say a damn thing dies," Belle glared at the assembly back at my house when she walked in the door. Jill must have missed that. When she came downstairs and saw Belle, she walked up and hugged her. "You look beautiful, Belle," Jill said while examining her. "Ah, thanks, Jill," Belle looked around evasively. Had anyone else said or done that, we would have died. Jill received a weak smile instead. Belle ended up in Sunday school class with Jill, who introduced her as Belle Kennan -- and no one made the connection despite Belle's constant scowl. Rio bringing Belle around to the Masters clan did something to ameliorate the situation. Suddenly having the young unattached males of the church pay attention to her was something Belle found downright darkly amusing. Rio was running around, introducing Belle as her Aunt from Michigan -- very single and clearly well-connected. Rochelle Wellington was the only one to figure out the ruse and she said nothing. Once we got home, Belle couldn't wait to be shed of those clothes. I took them back to the Kappa Sigmas with my gratitude for helping out yet again. When I came back I found Belle standing alone on the back porch. "Penny for your thoughts," I said. "I really ought to punch your lights out for putting me through that," she opened up. "I fucked three of those guys in high school and they didn't even recognize me now. I was in a pretty dress, a touch of make-up, and hung around with rich friends and; BANG; suddenly I wasn't the poor, dirty tramp in their eyes anymore." "Who gives a crap what they think or remember?" I countered. "You are still the same unique you no matter how you dress." Calling Belle beautiful was pointless, true but pointless, because she would have read that as me trying to get back into her pants. "You've never wanted for anything in your life," she mused. "What the fuck?" I rounded on her. "Bitch, for two years I only got to take showers when it rained; forget having any deodorant, and for amusement we played tag with pythons because we only had electricity when someone was pedaling the bicycle." She rounded on me with an angry rebuttal but immediately burst out laughing. "Yeah," she snickered, "and I finally got it out of Jill what a bad little monkey you were too. She told me you had 30 girlfriends and would screw around behind Tim's back all the time. You were a slut too." "Where? Belle, look around you," I grinned. "I am still a slut and proud of it." "Fuck you," she smiled. "Here I was getting worked up into a true fury and you come along and cheer me up." "That's what friends are for," I quipped. "I should have shoved Rio's head down that toilet," Belle teased. "You really complicate my life. Let's go in and grab a bite before we get all mushy." That First Time Fontana wasn't leaving until the morning so Valarie decided to spend another night at my place. I didn't want another night on the sofa so I opted for Rio and me to crash out in my dorm for the night. Vivian would be gone for the week; I hoped she would be spending quality time with her boyfriend Thomas. Barbie Lynn would be around once she saw her family off, but Opal, Brandi, and Paige, plus Christina and company, were gone for the week. They were all due back Saturday afternoon. The dark lining to this silver cloud was that both Paige and Heaven were; 'needy', and that didn't bode well for my Saturday night upon their return. That left us with twelve other girls on my floor tonight, one of which was Iona. She had decided that her time was better spent keeping Rio and me in line than being bored out of her skull back in her hometown. I was sure the fact that we would have a good deal of unobstructed time together had nothing to do with it. Iona was cuddled up with me on my right side on the large sofa closest to my bedroom screens. On my left, Rio was slouched down, channel surfing. She never stayed on any program long enough to see if it was any good. She was bored and angry. I was peripherally aware of someone activating the door and coming up but I wasn't paying too much attention until I noticed someone standing there and looking around for somebody. It was Mercy. I could hardly believe it. Our eyes met and she shrugged in confusion. She couldn't see Rio because my buddy's head was below the top of the back of the sofa. I surreptitiously moved my left arm over the top and then pointed down to where she was. Mercy's eyes lit up and she skipped on over, her bouncing proving to me she was braless. Rio was in such a foul mood, she didn't notice, so Mercy began leaning over until her shadow interfered with the suspended lighting. Finally, Rio rotated her face up to see what the problem was and looked right into Mercy's eyes. "Hey, you," Rio sounded remarkably nonchalant. "Hello, Rio," Mercy grinned hopefully. "I convinced my parents that I had to stay." "That's nice," Rio shrugged. Considering all the hell Rio had put me through during Homecoming and this weekend about Mercy being gone, I wanted to start punching her. "I wore my collar all weekend," she indicated the collar Rio (me, really) got her that had the school colors but Rio's initials on it. "I expressly forbid you from doing anything that might tip your parents off," Rio shook her head. "Simple fucking instructions and you manage to screw that up," she sighed. "I'm going to have to spank that kitty, aren't I?" Mercy's smile grew absolutely wanton. "I bet you are not wearing underwear, you tramp," Rio looked put out. "I seem to have lost them on the way over here," Mercy beamed. "Really? 'I lost them' is the best you can come up with? Give me some nipple-age, damn it," Rio insisted. Mercy bent over farther while Rio unbuttoned Mercy's shirt. "Remember, I'm only biting and sucking on these bad babies because you've been naughty, not because I enjoy it," Rio informed Mercy as she wiggled up to meet those naked breasts half way. "Okay," Mercy sighed happily as the first dangling breast went into Rio's mouth and her lips sucked the nipple in so her tongue could abuse it. Rio alternated between Mercy's tits, slurping and nibbling but not really biting down, as promised. She also reached up and grabbed her lover's shoulders, pulling her farther and farther. I was sure Mercy's feet had come off the ground. I would have looked but Iona took that moment to begin massaging my thigh. I looked to her; she was looking over at Rio and Mercy when Mercy started tumbling head first onto the sofa. Rio rolled Mercy onto her back, her skirt bunching up around her waist to reveal her baby-smooth cunt. "You are my bitch, Bitch," Rio growled as she pressed down on Mercy and tried to kiss her. "No, no," Mercy giggled as she kicked her heels, shook her head from side to side in an effort to avoid the kiss. "Please, let me go. I don't want to be kissed, or licked, or spanked, or have my body abused all week long. No, that would be horrible. Please, please, please, release me. I'll be good. I won't tell a soul about the terrible things you have planned for me." Rio hovered there, clearly in shock. "Why you rebellious little slut," Rio gasped. "Oh, I'm going to ream your ass for that little outburst." "Eeep!" Mercy squeaked. "Move that butt to the boudoir, you skanky whore," Rio pulled Mercy off the sofa, then spanked her bottom. Mercy looked over her shoulder fearfully and hurried that way with Rio in hot pursuit. Iona stood up, pulled on my arm and led my gaze to their retreating forms. "You want to join them?" I questioned. "I want to watch," Iona clarified. "They are so much in love; it is a beautiful thing to witness." "That it is," I agreed as I stood up as well. I led her toward my bedroom, Iona squeezing my hand tightly. "Also, getting naked under the covers with you has its own appeal," Iona gave me a cute, hopeful look. "What makes you think I'll get naked?" I teased. "Well, Zane, you are my friend, and you're easy," she teased right back. Ouch! "I prefer easily accessible, thank you very much," I stated indignantly. "Have you been taking etiquette lessons from Rio?" "Zane," Iona pouted. "That was unfair. I'd never abuse you the way Rio does, or Barbie Lynn, or Paige, or Heaven." As we rounded the last turn in the Chinese screen maze that separated my sleeping quarters from the rest of the floor, Rio was pushing Mercy face-first onto her (Rio's) side of the bed. Rio squatted behind Mercy. Mercy's torso was on the bed but her legs were still splayed over the edge. Rio probed forward, took a lick of that cunt, then another, before spanking Mercy's right cheek. "Has anybody else been using what is mine?" Rio inquired threateningly. Mercy shook her head violently in the negative. "Are you sure?" Rio persisted. "You are pretty clueless. Someone might have sexed you up while telling you they were doing your taxes, or something stupid like that. Did you let someone do your taxes?" Again Mercy shook her head 'no'. "Well ,  I don't trust you," Rio mused. "Zane, come over here." By this time, I was naked, I take off my clothes really fast because I hang around with some impatient women, and Iona was down to her socks and panties. "Sure," I responded. I walked around the bed until I was looking over Rio's shoulder. "Does this cunt and asshole look used to you?" Rio asked me. I reached out and with my forefinger, rubbed along Mercy's slit, starting with her clit. It was still a small nub but a few circles by my finger brought her out to play. Mercy moaned, wiggling her hips as she did. I scooped up from there, dipping between her labia until her fluids coated my fingers. I brought the finger up for a taste. "Yum," I grinned at Rio, who double-pumped her eyebrows and smiled like the madwoman she was. I stuck my finger back in Mercy's cunt to get it nice and wet again, causing Mercy to moan repeatedly. This time, I placed my finger against her anus. I rubbed it around but didn't try to press it in. The moment Mercy decided I wasn't going to give it to her, she thrust back, trying to drive my probing digit inside of her anyway. Rio smacked Mercy's ass to make her stop. "No, you don't, Wench," Rio threatened. "Rio, your baby-girl is pristine, she's nice and tight," I informed my buddy. "Thanks, Zane," Rio snickered. "I can never tell with this slut, she's always so horny. Or maybe I'm always so horny for her, I get those confused." "How about option three: you both are hot, horny babes addicted to each other's bodies?" I offered. "I really don't care what Mercy feels," Rio lied. "She's only serves as a vessel for my lusts. Don't you exist to be solely a receptacle for my lusts, Slut-Bunny?" Mercy slid down the bed until her knees touched the ground. She turned around to the less than amused Rio, waddled up to her lover and wrapped her arms around Rio's waist, hugging her tight. "Yes, yes, yes," Mercy murmured contentedly. "What the, listen, you sk- --" Rio started out angrily. She never finished calling Mercy a 'skank'. She hesitantly, then gently, ran her fingers through Mercy's hair. "I missed you so much, I was going nuts without you; just ask Zane," Rio gave her heartfelt confession. "Rio," Mercy looked up as Rio petted her head, "I've given this a lot of thought and I want you to be my first, tonight, right now," Mercy pleaded. Rio's eyes shot a panicked look in my direction. 'You can handle this,' I mouthed my assurance to my Best Buddy. Rio returned her gaze to Mercy and tilted her lover's head up until their eyes met. "You know there is no coming back from this," Rio stated. Mercy nodded. "This will make you mine forever," Rio said next. Mercy nodded with greater vigor. "You know I am a complete fucking train-wreck and am more likely to ruin your whole damn life than make you happy." "I am yours and you are mine," Mercy whispered, mimicking the tattoo Rio had placed on Mercy's back. "I can't do this," Rio stroked Mercy's cheek. Mercy looked devastated. "We are both wearing clothes, how can we properly make love if we are both still wearing clothes?" Mercy gawked, then shoved her face into Rio's stomach and bit down, hard, it appeared. "Ow, Bitch!" Rio screamed. "That hurt." "Rio, you nearly scared me to death." Mercy sounded so pitiful as she looked back up at Rio. I really had no idea how Rio's twisted, crazy mind would take that. For a second, I thought she'd explode, Rio didn't take pain like a rational person. "I apologize, Love. I have no excuse," Rio responded softly. She even used the 'L' word. "Really?" Mercy whispered. Rio nodded. "Will you do me one favor?" "Okay," Rio replied cautiously. "Please never apologize to me again, my Love," Mercy pleaded. "It scares me nearly as much as you being mean to me a moment ago." Rio studied Mercy for a few seconds. "Did you use the 'L' word?" Rio glared at Mercy. Mercy's eyes grew wide; she then buried her face back into Rio's stomach and began kissing away. "No, you don't, Wench. I will not be mollified by your sloppy, wet kisses. Strip your ass down and get into bed. Mom is going to go primeval on every inch of your smoking hot Temple of Babylon." Mercy smiled, spun around, and quick-stepped as fast as she could back to the bed while still on her knees. Rio flashed me a look that spoke of a happiness I had never seen in her before. She was slipping out of her skirt as she hopped her way to her dresser, undoubtedly to get some toys. As for me, I crawled past Mercy and slipped under the covers held open by Iona. "Should we leave?" Iona whispered to me. "Mercy is somewhat of an exhibitionist and I doubt Rio cares," I answered quietly. "In that case, let me get close to Mercy in case she needs some comforting," Iona told me under her breath. Before I could reason that out, she snuck her naked, tight little body over mine and slid under the covers to be close to Mercy. Iona reached out a hand tentatively toward Mercy. Mercy regarded it, gave Iona a warm smile, and placed her fingers in Iona's palm. Rio affixed her modest-sized strap-on and lubed it up before walking over to Mercy. Her lover seemed entranced with the way the false phallus bobbed about as it approached her. Rio threw back the blanket roughly so she could gaze down at Mercy's beautiful naked form. Instinctively, Mercy began to move her knees up to her chest. "What's that?" Rio pointed to Mercy's hand being held by Iona. Mercy started to withdraw it when, "Did I tell you to move it?" Mercy stopped. "Put that hand back and put those legs down, you insipid cow." Down came Mercy's legs with a muffled thud. "Now I'm going to fuck you like I own you," Rio growled. "You do own me," Mercy chirped. "I'm yours." "Are you ready for me to pound that cunt?" Rio glared. "Yes," Mercy moaned softly. "Well, tough," Rio smirked. "You don't tell me what to do. I'm going to do this at my own pace, damn it." She sidled down to the foot of the bed while still facing Mercy. With delicate ease, Rio lowered her lips to Mercy's right big toe, kissed it then began sucking on it. Mercy had raised her chin to her chest so she could meet Rio's steady gaze. As Rio began playing with her toes, Mercy shivered and groaned. When Rio switched to the left foot, Mercy whimpered. "Please, Rio," she moaned. "Hush, you," Rio mumbled around the current toe she was sucking on. "You are my plaything and I'll do what I want with you." Mercy's head fell back on the pillow as she clutched Iona's hand tightly. Iona seemed totally taken with events. She had rolled on her side so I cuddled behind her, my cock pressing against the small of her back, and began kissing her shoulder. Iona pushed back into me and wiggled her ass against my thighs. She also reached back, took my free hand in her own then placed them together on her stomach. She matched me as I traced small circles over her torso. "I hope I find someone who makes me that happy," Iona murmured. "You'll find someone worthy of you, Iona," I replied quietly. She tilted her head to give me better access to her neck. "I believe I will, Zane," Iona purred. "Now I know what to look for." Rio was taking her sweet time with Mercy, torturing the poor girl with lust. Iona actually scooted over and gave Mercy a quick peck on the cheek to comfort her. She was back in my arms before Mercy could decide to take shelter in Iona's innocent sexuality. This was Rio and Mercy's moment and we knew she shouldn't forget that. When Rio got to the knees, she pressed Mercy's legs farther apart and rotated the hips so she could access the back of Mercy's knees. She was running the tip of her tongue along the inner joint, driving Mercy nuts. The girl was humping her crotch up in the air and began pinching her right nipple. "None of that, you cougar-wannabe," Rio snapped. "You can't toy with my playground. It's mine." Mercy's face scrunched up in frustration as a single tear escaped her left eye. Mercy's free right arm began to flail about as Rio reluctantly stopped teasing the knees and began nibbling her way up Mercy's thigh. Iona felt the sympathetic energy and began massaging her left breast. "Please don't," she gulped as I moved my hand to her right breast. "I'll lose it and this should be their time, not mine." "Yes, Mistress Iona," I teased quietly. "Whatever you desire." Iona pummeled me with her ass against my thighs. "Behave," she sighed. Rio kept pushing Mercy's legs to the side until she was face (and lips) to Mercy's smooth cunt, letting the breath from her nostrils tickle the surface. "Something's been drooling, all," was all Rio got out before Mercy exploded into orgasm. "MotherfuckingChristGoddamn!" Mercy howled. Her whole body shook like an epileptic seizure had taken over. "Cunt-muncher," Rio sputtered. "Did you just squirt in my face?" Mercy was in no shape for an immediate reply. I didn't help matters when I snickered at Rio as her face rose above Mercy's thighs. Syrupy vaginal fluid was dripping off her nose and chin. Rio glared at me. I had a sinking feeling she was about to exile me from my room. "I'm, I'm sorry," Mercy groaned. "I was thinking weak, pathetic, or nasty," Rio grumbled. She began stalking up Mercy's body on all fours until she was face-to-face with her toy. "Was that the extent of your apology?" Mercy propped herself up feebly and began to lick Rio's face clean. "If I'm not satisfied, no fucking for you tonight," Rio taunted her. That spurred Mercy on. She was sucking Rio's eyelids and eyebrows, licking her cheeks, jaw and neck as if her life depended on it. Mercy ended up trying to French kiss Rio but she was having none of that. "Do you think I've got some of your cunt juice hiding under my tongue?" Rio quizzed her. Mercy gave a short, energetic nod. Rio cracked a smile and her lips and Mercy dove up to literally tongue-fuck Rio's mouth until she was thoroughly satisfied she'd gotten every drop. "No, you don't," Rio chastised her. "I know what you are doing and it is not going to work. I'm going to spank that sopping wet kitty and there's nothing you can do to distract me." "Have mercy," Mercy pleaded convincingly. "Oh, I am going to have Mercy again and again and again," Rio mocked her lover. Rio retreated down Mercy until her false cock slipped past her pubic mound. Rio used her right hand to guide the dildo up and down between her labia. The response was tiny simpering noises from Mercy. When Rio let the tip enter her cunt, Mercy became very still. "Relax, Babe," Rio urged her gently. "It will make it less uncomfortable." Rio avoided using the word pain. "Deep breaths, Babe," Rio soothed her. "Think about how much pleasure you feel when I shove this cock up your ass. It will be the same way with your cunt, but better." I could tell Mercy was really trying and that was the problem; she was trying too hard. Rio had an answer for that though. "I've got a better idea," Rio grinned wickedly. She pulled out of Mercy and waggled her phallus at her mate. "I'm not going to do all the damn work, you perverted minx. Hike up those legs and spread them wide, none of this folding at the knees crap. I'm going to mount you like John Smith ambushed Pocahontas, leaving you stupefied and wondering who the fuck just hammered you through the New World." "I'm going to fuck you harder than the Pilgrims screwed over the Wampanoag, you are going to ride my cock 'til dawn." I image the rest of us clearly showed our amazement that Rio knew so much, well, of anything, much less American History. "What the fuck?" Rio took in our gawking. "I read, things, occasionally. Don't look so shocked." "Iona," Rio added, as she went back to looking down on her woman, "get my camera phone. I want to record this moment for posterity." "Zane?" Iona whispered to me. She didn't want to put either Rio or Mercy at risk of exposure. "Its fine," I petted her shoulder. "You can make sure the file is secure." "I'm okay with it," Mercy assured Iona. "I trust Rio." "Be quiet, Pumpkin," Rio sneered. "This is going up on YouTube fifteen minutes after we are done. I'm going to title it: Lush Virgin Innocent plundered by Psycho Mistress." I groaned as Iona slipped off the bed to get the phone. "What; not descriptive enough?" "Plunder me! Plunder me!" Mercy meeped. Rio slapped both of Mercy's nipples. "Hush, you," Rio glared at Mercy. "The only thing I want coming out of that mouth had better be your tongue in my cunt." Iona walked up and handed the phone to Rio. "You keep it, Iona," Rio told her. "You'll get a girl's point of view. With Zane, it will be nothing but tits and ass." We both knew that wouldn't be the case, most likely wouldn't be the case. Iona returned to my side but was sitting up on her knees. She looked at the image in the phone and edged forward. I moved in behind her so that my stomach was against her buttocks. I remained reclining. Iona reached out and took Mercy's hand once more. "I'm ready," Iona said softly. Mercy paled, biting her lip over her dual anxieties. Rio had let slip a serious yet compassionate facial expression which reaffirmed that her Mistress was about to take her. The other was the originally unlooked for trait of Mercy the Exhibitionist. Oh, it terrified her that her sexuality would be discovered, but that thrill only made her actions that much more vibrant and alive. Rio positioned her fake phallus at the gateway to Mercy's virginity again. She leaned over Mercy, her arms resting on her fists to either side of Mercy's breasts, but her lady was taller and Rio couldn't quite span the gap between their faces. "Get up here and kiss me, Mercy," Rio said, choked with emotion. "Kiss me one more time as my fuck toy. Next time we kiss, you'll be my girlfriend." Mercy used her right elbow to prop herself up until her lips met with Rio's. "Are you going to own me, use me, and protect me forever and ever?" Mercy pleaded. "Baby-cakes, I own you for all time, I am never going to become tired of using you, and if anyone except me lays a finger on you, I'll wipe out their whole fucking family," Rio recited her twisted version of a marital vow with the tenderness of a child addressing a kitten. "Thank you for choosing me," Mercy fought back tears. The kiss she gave Rio was long, passionate, and steeped in familiarity. Mercy was still enraptured with the declaration and kiss when Rio pushed forward. Mercy's hymen tore, completing her evolution from the blindly obedient school girl that had come to my room as one of the Chancellor's enforcers so few weeks ago into the woman who dared to experiment with her deepest erotic desires. Mercy's eyes welled up with tears due to the pain. She trembled and her lips quivered. Rio didn't relent despite her lover's pain. She drove the dildo in relentlessly to the hilt. She ground the strap-on's base against Mercy's clit, withdrew a half inch, then slammed down hard. At the same time, she moved her left hand around to the back of Mercy's head, grabbed a handful of hair and forced Mercy into another kiss. "What are you, my little Orgasmic Bombshell?" Rio demanded. "I'm your girlfriend," Mercy sobbed through the renewing pain. "You don't sound very convinced," Rio insisted. "Am I going to have to put a ring on that clit?" she bumped Mercy's clit again, causing Mercy to gulp and whimper. "Not enough to teach your confused, simple mind who the boss is? Nipple rings it is, then," Rio taunted with all apparent seriousness. "You still don't get it?" Mercy shook her head, tears starting to seep down her cheeks as Rio kept fucking her. "Nose ring?" That suggestion seemed to scare the girl, probably because hiding such a piercing would be difficult. "Oh, sigh," Rio exaggerated. "I guess nothing but putting a ring on that finger will beat the point home." Mercy's eyes grew wide and her mouth gaped open. "Of course, that makes me your husband and Master, none of this wife-shit for me. You'll have to do double duty as wife and sexual gratification machine, available for sex on demand." "Okay," Mercy wept joyously. "I am so annoyed with you right now, Annoyer." Annoy equals love; that pretty much symbolized those two. "Mercy, if you fail me this time, I'm going to clone fifty of me and fuck you until you explode," Rio threated. Damn, Rio was so often unhinged from reality and common sense. I figured the only reason Mercy didn't rebel right then and there was that she knew Rio couldn't really clone herself. Otherwise, death by multiple orgasm was exactly how Mercy would chose to exit her mortal coil, and Rio knew it. She also knew she was hammering Mercy into another orgasm quickly. "Christ-fuck-shit-hell!" Mercy screamed. Her legs vibrated then fell to either side of Rio. She wept, screamed, and convulsed on the bed but her Mistress held her firm by the hips and head. When Mercy finally collapsed, boneless from the exertion, Rio gently withdrew her cock from Mercy's cunt and settled on Mercy's right side, studying her intently. Mercy's chest rose in ragged pulses for over a minute. Her first act was to release Iona's hand and carefully place it on her labia, dabbed it gently, then drew the results up to her face. Vaginal fluid mixed with a trace of blood was what she saw. Mercy's smile returned then. She rolled facing Rio and curled submissively into Rio's body, her head resting between Rio's breasts. The four of us were quiet for some time. It was Mercy who broke the silence. "I'm okay," she murmured into Rio's chest. It took Rio nearly half a minute to respond. "You talk too much," Rio whispered to Mercy as she stroked her hair. "I think you can find something better to do with that mouth, so get to it." Mercy began suckling. "Good girl." By FinalStand for Literotica.

In this final installment of my interview with Dolan Perkins Valdez, the New York Times bestselling author of “Wench,” “Bomb,” “Take My Hand,” and most recently, Happyland, we get a peek at where her personal throughline is leading her next and hear her answers to my fast final five questions about what she's currently reading, listening to, and dreaming of eating.We covered:The visual artists who are currently inspiring her, some living, some deadHer favorite historical fiction authorsThe AMAZING sounding historical fiction writers conference that cemented her path as a historical fiction authorHow she's re-thinking how she spends her time now that her older daughter is going off to collegeThe romance novel she stayed up too late reading and the Netflix series about high school girls she watched with her daughterThe music she listens to when her energy flagsConnect with Dolen on Instagram @dolenperkinsvaldezFor full show notes with links to everything we discuss, plus bonus photos!, visit katehanley.substack.com.Thank you for listening!And thanks to this week's sponsor, Air Doctor Pro. Visit airdoctorpro.com and use code KATE to save 30% off an amazing indoor air filter *and* receive a free three-year warranty (an $84 value). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dolan Perkins Valdez, multiple award-winning author of “Wench,” “Bomb,” and “Take My Hand.” Her newest book, “Happyland,” is inspired by the true story of a secret community of formerly enslaved people in Appalachia.In this episode, we get into the nitty gritty of the ideas, thought processes, and beliefs that fuel her work, including:The part of writing a novel that can make her feel like “the book is taking years off my life”The surprising number of drafts it takes to get to a publishable manuscriptHow to elicit feedback that is actually helpful from early readersIdentifying your “good readers”The research habit that can bite her in the buttThe part of the writing process where her writerly demons tend to pop up the mostBuilding your day around when your brain is at its bestWhy she writes every book as if it's her lastWhy she views all writing as politicalWriting what's in your heart, not what you think will sellThe question she asks herself when she's writing things that scare herConnect with Dolen on Instagram @dolenperkinsvaldezFor full show notes with links to everything we discuss, plus bonus photos!, visit katehanley.substack.com.Thank you for listening!And thanks to this week's sponsor, Air Doctor Pro. Visit airdoctorpro.com and use code KATE to save 30% off an amazing indoor air filter *and* receive a free three-year warranty (an $84 value). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My guest this week is Dolan Perkins-Valdez, the New York Times bestselling author of the novels “Wench,” “Bomb,” “Take My Hand,” and most recently, “Happyland.” Her books are all inspired by fascinating facets of American history that are in danger of being forgotten. They have earned awards from the NAACP, the Black Caucus of the American Library Association and the American Bar Association. And they've been named best books of the year by Goodreads users and Amazon editors. Dolan is a three-time nominee for a United States Artists Fellowship and an associate professor in the literature department at American University.We covered:Why she goes to the special archives in the library in any town she visitsWhy emails from readers are the best giftHow she recovers from book tourWhat teaching offers her (beyond benefits and a 401K)Her specific writing processThe handicraft that makes her “most at peace”Her pre-writing morning routineHow she measures her writing process (hint: it's not word count)Connect with Dolen on Instagram @dolenperkinsvaldezFor full show notes with links to everything we discuss, plus bonus photos!, visit katehanley.substack.com.Thank you for listening!And thanks to this week's sponsor, Aqua Tru. Visit aquatru.com and use code KATE to save 20% off a great countertop reverse osmosis water filter that I have been using and loving for years now. Comes with a 1-year warranty and a 30-day money back guarantee. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever heard an elder call someone, usually a girl or woman, a wench? Here's how an Old English word became a racist, sexist slur used to attack Black women._____________2-Minute Black History is produced by PushBlack, the nation's largest non-profit Black media company. PushBlack exists to amplify the stories of Black history you didn't learn in school. You make PushBlack happen with your contributions at BlackHistoryYear.com — most people donate $10 a month, but every dollar makes a difference. If this episode moved you, share it with your people! Thanks for supporting the work.The production team for this podcast includes Cydney Smith and Len Webb. Our editors are Lance John and Avery Phillips from Gifted Sounds Network. Lilly Workneh serves as executive producer. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It was a rock-heavy show this week on the Yellow Brit Road! We paid our tributes to the prince of darkness, Ozzy Osbourne, who sadly died mere weeks after Black Sabbath's farewell show in Birmingham, Back To The Beginning festival, and celebrated the new generation of rockers (and other musicians) with new releases on the show tonight. Next week: Reading festival and Oasis land on North American (specifically Canadian) shores after 16 years. Tune in. Music this week byBlack Sabbath, Hot Milk, Ren, The Royston Club, Kim Hon, Divorce, Ruby Rushton, Uninvited, NewDad, VESS, corto.alto, The New Eves, Ventrelles, Dead Air, Nubiyan Twist, Panic Shack, Master Peace, Self Esteem, Kokoroko, hard life, Yazmin Lacey, shame, WENCH!Find this week's playlist here. Try and support artists independently through buying their music, merch, going to shows!Listen live on⁠ cfrc.ca⁠, Sundays 8-9:30 PM! Listen back to full shows in the linked CFRC archive for 3 months from broadcast.Like what we do? ⁠Donate⁠ to help keep our 102-year old radio station going!Get in touch with the show for requests, submissions, giving feedback or anything else: email ⁠yellowbritroad@gmail.com⁠, Twitter @⁠YellowBritCFRC⁠, IG @⁠⁠yellowbritroad⁠⁠.PS: submissions, cc ⁠music@cfrc.ca⁠ if you'd like other CFRC DJs to spin your music on their shows as well.

Paul is now a published author so go ahead and buy his book The Ginks! If that wasn't enough, then let's all enjoy nine songs from The Chelsea Curve, Demented Are Go, LHS, Animal Rage, Jo Carley & The Old Dry Skulls, Youth Killed It, Gino And The Goons, Chinese Junk and Wench!Voice of Jeff, Comedy Suburbs, Tony has your Facebook comments, 20th birthday is NEXT WEEK, Ridgeaway, Tom Jones, mistake?, last week, mortgage, Euros, hair pulling, Paul's book The Ginks is out!, new lodger, From the Vaults, thunderbolts and lightning, Tony's International Gig Guide, this week, accountant, Alcohol practice, more Euros, Dukes Arms, no Izzatwat and a reminder of the ways you can listen to us.Song 1: The Chelsea Curve - KINDAWANNASong 2: Demented Are Go - SpoonfulSong 3: LHS – The Man Who Stamps On KittensSong 4: Animal Rage – Last Standing ManSong 5: Jo Carley & The Old Dry Skulls – The Bone ReadersSong 6: Youth Killed It – Johnny BravadoSong 7: Gino And The Goons – Mess You UpSong 8: Chinese Junk – Shut Up About The USASong 9: Wench! – Be Tame

Dolen Perkins-Valdez shares the riveting history behind her new book, Happy Land, the research surprises she uncovered, and how urgency drives her storytelling.In today's Book Gang episode, New York Times bestselling author Dolen Perkins-Valdez joins me to discuss Happy Land, a transporting novel inspired by the true story of a lost kingdom built by freed people in the hills of North Carolina. This dual-timeline story explores land, lineage, and the courage it takes to reclaim what is yours. Dolen's excavation process informs this sweeping novel—even uncovering a few historical inaccuracies along the way. The result is a stunning celebration of Black heritage and a poignant reclamation of overlooked American history that has captivated her readers.In this moving conversation, Dolen and I discuss:Why Dolen feels an urgency behind each book she writes—and how it drives her to shape her manuscriptsThe immersive research that brought the Kingdom community to life, including conversations with local historians and surprising archival discoveries.How the concept of royalty and reclamation shaped the story—and why the roles of Black women in these communities are long overdue for deeper recognition.BONUS BOOK LIST: This week, I'm sharing a companion list of 27 Historical Fiction Book Club Books to Check Out Now, featuring new releases and timeless backlist picks that will spark incredible conversations within your book club.Meet Dolen Perkins-ValdezDolen Perkins-Valdez is the New York Times bestselling author of Wench, Balm, Take My Hand, and her newest novel, Happy Land. Her work has earned honors from the NAACP, the American Bar Association, and the Black Caucus of the American Library Association, and she's been recognized as one of the most vital voices chronicling American historical life.In addition to her writing, Dolen is an associate professor of literature at American University. She has introduced modern editions of Twelve Years a Slave and Behind the Scenes, bringing an unflinching dedication to uncovering hidden histories and amplifying overlooked Black stories. She lives in Washington, DC, with her family. Mentioned in this episode:Browse the 2025 MomAdvice Summer Reading Guide (with ads) or download the 48-page reading guide ($7) to support our show. If you are a show patron, please check your inbox for your copy as part of your member benefits. Thank you for supporting my small business!   Download Today's Show TranscriptJoin the June Book Club Chat (The Reckless Oath We Made)BONUS BOOK LIST: 27 Historical Fiction Book Club Books For Your Next MeetingHappy Land by Dolen Perkins-ValdezTake My Hand by Dolen Perkins-ValdezTake My Hand Book Club Discussion on PatreonOcean VuongBlack History Research CommitteeSadie Smathers PattonThe Black Utopians by Aaron RobertsonBlue Ridge Archive Web ExhibitTranscendent Kingdom by Yaa GyasiGood Dirt by Charmaine WilkersonThe Queen of Sugar Hill by Rashonda TateBookshop.org pays a 10% commission on every sale and matches 10% to independent bookstores!Connect With Us:Join the Book Gang PatreonConnect with Dolen on Instagram or her WebsiteConnect with Amy on Instagram, TikTok, or MomAdviceGet My Happy List NewsletterGet the Daily Kindle Deals NewsletterBuy Me a Coffee (for a one-time donation) 

This week, the boys recap three VERY different Memorial Day celebrations. Ice is still raging, this time in a slightly more appropriate setting. AJ attempts to live a little and pays dearly for it, while Jack goes straight medieval. With the dust fully settled on the holiday, it's on to the business that is the season two finale of The Last of Us. To say the guys were conflicted about the rather abbreviated 7-episode run would be a bloater-sized understatement. Grab the nearest sawed off golf club you can find and dig into the proceedings.

[STS201] jaQ` and Earl continue their journey through Star Trek: Shorts Treks, this time at the start of season two, this episode is their in-depth coverage of Q&A, the songstravaganza […]

  We are delighted to welcome Dr. Dolen Perkins Valdez back to the program today. Dolen is an associate professor of English literature at American University, but our listeners better know her as an award-winning, critically-acclaimed novelist. Her previous works are Wench, Balm, and Take My Hand. Today we'll be discussing her latest release, Happy Land, which is published by Berkley. 

MIA AND LIV COME TO THE MIC AND TALK ABOUT SOME FUN SESSIONS OVER THE YEARS. COME FIND US ON FET AND LOYALFANS!MISTRESSMIAREY AND MADAME_LIV3

Hour 2 of A&G features... Tariffs on cars & world of conflicting rules Stealing breakfast, TikTok ban & Vin Scully More PBS coverage Jack can't sleep See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hour 2 of A&G features... Tariffs on cars & world of conflicting rules Stealing breakfast, TikTok ban & Vin Scully More PBS coverage Jack can't sleep See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This final episode of Hoovering is with the podcast's first ever guest, DEBORAH FRANCES-WHITEThis podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Stream my stand up show WENCH on YouTube, and listen to both of my Radio 4 series STURDY GIRLS CLUB on BBC Sounds now. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Exorcism Fucking.Based on a post by FinalStand, in 13 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels. ‘You told me you are Darius' girl,' I threw her words back at her. She buried her face in a pillow and started to sob. I would have been aghast except Mom, the presentimental witch that she was, had warned me about this feminine tactic to avoid responsibility.‘Stop that,' I grew stormy-serious. ‘You don't get to cry, Brandy. I keep showing you I care for you and I certainly want you. You are the one with another man.'‘That's not fair,' she turned her tear-streaked face my way. Yep, it was an act. ‘You know that Darius and I are; complicated.'I sat up. Two could play this game. Besides, there was another girl I truly was interested in and by Brandy-logic, I was free to play the field.‘No,' I shook my head in denial. ‘It is not complicated. You want to fuck us both; ‘‘No Vlad,' she protested. ‘I only want to have sex with you; it is just; Darius has this hold over me.'‘You are not asking for my help breaking free,' I pointed out.‘Vlad,' she reached out and stroked my bicep, ‘You know it's; ‘‘Oh fuck yeah!' Taliyah sang out. Apparently those internet tutorials on 'finger-play' and non-penetrative erogenous zones had paid some vital dividends for Mikhail. I had delivered fuck-all orgasms to Brandy already today, yet she suddenly looked jealous. I could deal with that. I slid off the bed to some urgent pouting on her part. She didn't have to wait long.I pulled her off the bed by her left hand and into my arms.‘Ow,' she squeaked as I put a stinging, cupped hand to her bottom. She tried to maneuver away and the chase was on. If she tried to face me, I tickled her. When she tried to avoid me, her ass got a good spanking. She squeaked, squawked, giggled and yelped playfully as I hunted her down.Brandy proved shameless, nimble for such a full-figured dynamo and athletic. She went squealing down the hall, passed the kitchen into the den. When she vaulted the sofa like a pommel horse, she finally was able to put some distance between us. I could get over the sofa just not as fast as she could. She took the momentary reprieve to spin around and shake a scolding finger at me.‘Stop taking me for granted,' she surprised me.‘What?' it was my turn to squawk. ‘I'm not taking advantage of you.' Brandy looked up at our ten inch height differential defiantly. ‘Fine, I'm not taking advantage of you this very second.' She countered by poking her chin forward, putting her hands on her hips which caused her tantalizing succulent boobs to bounce.‘Brandy?' Taliyah panted. We both finally looked over at the kitchen bar counter. Taliyah was on her back, her head tilted back so she was gazing at us upside down. Her shirt was rolled up, as was her bra. Mikhail had her legs pushed up with her ankles on his shoulders. He looked wickedly pleased with himself.‘Taliyah?' Brandy returned the questioning tone. ‘You hate Mikhail.' Taliyah turned her head forward and to the side.‘I still hate his cracker-ass, but his tongue; the bastard refuses to fuck me though,' she complained. ‘It isn't fair that I'm not getting what you clearly are getting.' Mikhail was sticking to the rules so no tongue-fucking either.‘Taliyah, their Mamma doesn't let them have random sex,' Brandy informed her. ‘You need to talk with; ah; Mrs. Samsonov before you get any of the really good stuff.' Mom was three or four miles away, yet I could still make out the reverberations of her maniacal merriment. Her wacky plan was working for no sane reason I could understand.‘No way,' Taliyah grumbled. ‘I'm not asking their Mamma for shit.' Mikhail shrugged then let her legs fall to his sides abruptly.‘I can get tail elsewhere,' he snorted.‘You fucker,' Taliyah's grumbling turned to a snarl. ‘At least help me clean up.'‘Why should I? I'm not your boyfriend and from what I hear, he treats you like a whore too,' he mocked her. Did I mention my brother could be a cruel, pompous ass? Alex was the nice guy of the three of us. I was glad I had Mikhail for this episode because I bet Alex would have gone off-program.Alex didn't need to start having feelings for a girl who'd feed him to Darius' crowds without a hint of regret.‘Vlad, do something?' Brandy demanded with a pout for extra oomph.‘Like what?' I countered. ‘You are the ones who are cheating on your boyfriends and using us for your dirty-little-secret, sexual pleasures. We could be with girls that give a damn about us.'‘Stop being such a bastard,' Brandy slapped me in my left pectoral. She followed that attack up by rushing into my arms, wrapping her arms around my waist and holding me tight as she pressed her ear to my heart. What?I was beginning to wonder if I had been lucky never having a serious girlfriend before. For that matter, I was reconsidering whether my Father's blasé attitude toward women might indeed be the right way to go.‘Frankly, Brandy; I don't give a damn,' I adopted my best Rhett Butler. ‘I haven't had this,' I squeezed her ass so strongly she had to rise up against me.‘I thought; thought you would be different,' Brandy was somewhat shocked by my raw, brutal demands. She meant she thought I'd be more like one of the spineless limp-dick White boy she'd grown up with. I fucking hated stereotypes.‘I am different. I don't have to dress you in a dozen men's semen to mark you as my own.'‘I'll take you when I want, how I want and where I want; unless you run away; really, really fast.' I spanked both cheeks at once. ‘Wench, bedroom, Now!' Brandy gasped in pleasure, struggled free and beat her little wench-feet back to the bedroom. I strode after her like the Captain of my own World.‘Why can't you be more like him?' Taliyah complained to Mikhail. He had other things on his mind. ‘Hey; stop that; I'm not Brandy. I don't; ah; take it up the ass; I said; ah; stop that.'‘Bitch, the horse is outside. Make up your mind right now, or I'm going to make it up for you,' he growled back.‘I'll bite your dick off, White Boy,' she snarled in response. Since I didn't hear a door slamming, I assumed she chose to challenge Mikhail. I don't understand women. Back in the master bedroom once more, Brandy was trying to hide beneath the comforter.‘Vlad, can we talk for a; ‘ she balked when I ripped the comforter out of her 'frightened' hands and off the bed on one mighty yank. ‘Vlad!'I was on her in a flash. I didn't go straight for the anal intercourse. First we wrestled around. She nipped and I kissed her and suckled hard enough on both nipples to give her hickies.She didn't claw me, nut me, or hit me all that hard so I figured this was what my Mom had called 'aggressive foreplay'. What I did know was by the time I had rolled her onto her stomach, her ass was pressing and wiggling against my cock with persistent need.‘Lube,' I exclaimed. She froze up, figuratively (she was slick with hot, sticky sweat), and waited for me to 'prep' her with one finger; she'd felt a lot tighter this time out; and only reinvigorated her urgent writhing once I'd returned to my dominant spot over her. Even with lube in her anus and a generous coating on my phallus, it was tough going.In hindsight, I should have taken it easier on her, but I was inexperienced and Brandy was willing to scream into the pillow instead of telling me to slow down.‘Damn,' I grunted. ‘That's; tight; ‘‘Yes,' she whimpered.‘Does it hurt?' I stupidly inquired.‘Yes; ‘ she whispered.‘Good,' I growled. I pulled back until my glans dilated her sphincter, then slammed in hard and fast again. It hurt my cockhead, but I did it again and again anyway.I could make out her sobbing. While I was formulating a new plan, her thighs and ass began to quiver. The vibrations reverberated over her entire body and then she howled like a Lost Soul discovering Paradise. It was hardly something I could call a human noise. It was definitely jubilant.‘Ha; ha; harder,' she wheezed. ‘Fuck me; ‘ and I started repeatedly pile-driving her asshole. The first time I had been using my hips. This outing I worked all my brawn and weight into my thrusts. Her vaginal secretions made a mess of the sheets, coated her thighs and my scrotum and made this oddly erotic squelching noise every time I bottomed out in her rectum.I kept going, despite all-over muscle cramps, both of us being drenched in sweat and finally Brandy losing her voice until I shot-gunned a full load of cum deep into her intestines (perhaps an exaggeration). Brandy lay there, motionless after I rolled off. After two, or three, minutes, she mumbled something.‘What?' I rolled onto my side and petted her spine from the nape of her neck to the small of her a back. She mumbled something again. I kissed her behind the left ear, nibbled on the lobe then repeated my question.‘I really do love you,' she moaned. Shit.‘Ah, ah- aha, yeah, bi, bitch, ah, ha, is that all you, ah, got White boy,' Taliyah was getting progressively louder from the front area. I could hear the recliner creaking and imagined it rocking back and forth. This I had to see. Brandy was dead weight as I tried to drag her with me out of bed. I doubled back, swept her up into my arms bride-style and quick-footed it toward the noise.Taliyah's shoulders and head were evident over the back of the leather recliner. Her face was a mask of pleasurable pain, her eyes squeezed tightly shut and her muscles strained whenever she rocked back. Mikhail was behind her, rhythmically pushing her forward then letting her rock back. His countenance was one of intense concentration. They were both naked and working up a sheen of sweat.My bet was on him trying to not be sadistic more than stopping himself from coming too soon. We Samsonov men had some incredible stamina to go with our bulky size.‘Mikhail, I knew you couldn't turn Taliyah away for long,' Brandy heaved with amused exhaustion. Mikhail shook his head in the negative.‘How's that ass, Bro?' I teased him. Brandy looked up at me uncertainly, then back to Taliyah. The Black girl's head hung in shame but that didn't stop her from giving back as good as she got.‘Taliyah!' Brandy gasped. ‘You gave up your ass; your anal virginity to Mikhail? I thought you would never give it up?'‘He held me down,' she grunted. She was clearly lying about my Brother overwhelming her as well as her raunchy gratification. Against all reason, Brandy began licking my neck and rubbing her torso, ass and thigh against my chest and arms.‘Mikhail, take her to the sofa,' I suggested. He looked up quizzically so I hefted Brandy high enough to cause her to 'meep'. I took Brandy to the sofa, placed her knees on the cushions and bent her chest on the back rest. Taking her by the hips with one hand, I pulled her rump back as I impaled her sphincter on my reanimated cock for one more ride.Eight strokes in and Taliyah and Mikhail appeared beside us. Brandy was in pure bliss. Taliyah squinted at her, then slowly gave into her own rapture. I'd always considered anal sex to be painful for the 'catcher' and not something a person could get into. Then I made allowances for Brandy's individual kink. Now I had Taliyah giving her asshole up to my brother and going wild.I seriously began accepting my novice status and the sad reality: Mom must have been a highly proficient slut to be giving such good advice to her nearly virginal sons. Her awkward (for us) verbal lessons, so hard to believe at the time, were proving timely and terribly accurate. The last trick, she said, was to treat a woman like you owned her while not to treating her like some random orifice.When I picked up the pace on Brandy's tight bunghole, Mikhail matched me. What was ecstasy for Brandy turned out to be too much for the anal virgin Taliyah. She bit down on the sofa cushion in order to stifle her scream. Taliyah vibrated up against him as her climax rocked her in a series of savage tidal surges.Brandy soaked in Taliyah's fuck-stunned look while Mikhail's gaze was one of frank appraisal of my girl's physical sensuality. She didn't press back to meet my thrusts, instead presenting her ass for the best angle of attack. Brandy squeezed her anus, and rotated her hips to give me as much stimulation as I was giving her.‘Damn Vlad, your bitch has it going on,' Mikhail laughed. Brandy shot me a quick look. Taliyah looked downright insulted by the comparison.‘Her name is Brandy, not bitch, Mik,' I glared back, ‘and your woman is looking unappreciated.' Calling him Mik told my brother I thought he'd crossed the line. Brandy's response was immediate.She arched her back up until her body was parallel to mine. Brandy kept up her gyrations allowing me to fondle her bodacious bosom while engaging her in a deep, soul-draining French exploration of the Lost Continent. The sexual act was a never-ending journey. Sensing she wanted to keep that pose for everyone's benefit, I slipped two finger from my right hand into our mouths.Those slick fingers went down to her clit and pinched that mighty nub between them. That really set her off. My left hand migrated from nipple to nipple, giving each areola a spirited slap. Her whines became orgasmic.‘Why won't you kiss me like that?' Taliyah griped.‘Because I don't feel like picking some other guy's pubic hair out of your teeth,' he mocked her. They started struggling, but Mikhail wouldn't let her turn around. He did make a concession to her amorous desires by planting kisses on her neck and ear. That mollified Taliyah somewhat, though she didn't stop trying to break free. One titanic exhalation brought Brandy crashing down from her latest climax.She hung limply in my embrace while I cradled her in my arms.‘Take a look at your brother,' Taliyah moaned. ‘He knows how to treat a lover, you Neanderthal. You could learn something.'‘I like my Black Bitches quiet,' he teased. ‘Why can't you learn that? Is it too complicated for you to understand?'That new bit of outraged allowed Taliyah to break free. As she spun around, Mikhail wisely (and stunningly) retreated.‘I ought 'a smack some color into you, Asshole,' she glared.‘That's only fair,' he raced behind the sweaty recliner. ‘I sure pumped a whole lot of white into you.'‘Rashaan is going to kill you when he finds out what you did to me,' she screamed. That was her boyfriend, the starting quarterback of the football team.‘Unless you want to visit him in the hospital, he'd better bring help,' Mikhail kept mocking her. ‘I'm sure he'll love you giving up the hole you wouldn't give him.'‘Argh!' Taliyah screamed loud enough to give me and Brandy a start. ‘You forced me and I'll let him know it.'‘That's two people lying and two telling the truth, Taliyah,' he generously insinuated the Brandy would back her friend over her fuck-buddy. ‘Besides, this is redneck Davis County, not niggah-loving Kingston. The law is on my side.'That was one 'N-word' too many. Taliyah kept chasing Mikhail who kept taunting her. Playtime had to end. The Sun was starting to set outside. Brandy seemed fascinated with the exchange of barbs mainly because I doubted she'd ever seen a White man openly confront the Black-White divide so fearlessly. This wasn't rednecks throwing empty beer cans and insults from the back of a moving pick-up truck.Mikhail was absolutely confident in his ability to withstand any retribution the Black high school power structure could throw his way. I was more worried about Dad and Mom, Dad wouldn't approve of our promiscuity, Mom had yet to bust up Taliyah to her satisfaction. How she'd handle Mikhail's ass-plugging solution was unknown to me.The immediate problem: Mikhail couldn't resist sticking verbal barbs into Taliyah and Taliyah always rose to the bait. My solution was to have Brandy get Taliyah back to the master bedroom while I gathered up her clothes. As Mikhail handed me her bra, he'd thrown it across the room when stripping her,‘I didn't ham it up too much, did I?' he winked.‘Nah. I think she thinks you are a complete and utter bastard,' I replied in a low voice.‘Damn, I really wanted fuck her today. She's smells great and she's fierce, a real tiger,' he kept smiling. Ah crap. Maybe he was smitten too. There was no way I could clue either Brandy, or Taliyah in on that. As fun as fucking Brandy was, as well as me enjoying being in her company, we had a golden opportunity here.Tomorrow a vengeful Taliyah would unload on Rashaan. He'd want payback. Darius would stop him until he found out I'd banged Brandy all over the place as well. Then we'd let the avalanche take its course. Letting slip our Dad was going to come see us at basketball practice; Mom would talk him into that for us; would guarantee a fight during school hours.Tomorrow was Thursday and Friday was an 'away' game so the football team couldn't get us after school then. That meant the team would be leaving school before the end of seventh period on Friday and there was no way they could wait to beat us up until next Monday. I had little doubt Darius would smell a set up. Convincing his minions of that would be the impossible part.In the bedroom, Taliyah was giving me a rather peculiar look.‘Are you afraid I'll steal something?' she sniped.‘What do you mean by that?' I was puzzled.‘He's not like that,' Brandy defended me; from what, I wasn't sure.‘He's White, you're White and his family are a bunch of thieves anyway,' she spat. Again; huh?‘Brandy?' I inquired. She gave me a confused look back. ‘Okay, both of you should remember I'm from Butt-fuck Alaska, before I came here I knew precisely four Black people and one of those was an infant; and go from there.'‘Oh,' Brandy nodded. Clearly I was a simpleton. ‘Taliyah thinks you don't trust her back here with only me because she's African-American and you believe she'll steal something.'I laughed loud and hard, my restive cock bouncing along with me. Both girls appeared pissed at my reaction, so I felt I needed to explain.‘Taliyah, you are the second hottest girl in school. I'm back here because I like seeing you naked as well as in various forms of undress. You are smoking,' I chuckled. ‘It is nothing more complicated than that.'‘Oh,' said Taliyah. She was both embarrassed about missing the obvious as well as loving a helping handful of padding for her ego.‘Oh,' pouted Brandy. ‘Second?'‘Yeah. I've got this thing for Amy Hutchinson,' I nodded seriously. Amy was a nice, sweet-mannered girl. She was also a sophomore, a late bloomer and flat as a board.‘Oh!' Brandy unleashed her faux-fury, ran up and slapped both my triceps. I was mesmerized by mammaries straining to break free of her frilly beige bra. Her beige panties were doing a good job of being transparent as well. She spun around like a ballerina and attempted a getaway. I was having none of that.I tackled her to the bed, press her chest down on the rumpled bed. She struggled sensually. I began nuzzling the back and left side of her neck. Then I began tickling her. She was helpless before my adroit fingers.‘Please,' she begged. ‘Please stop. I'm about to pee on myself.'‘Fine,' I withheld my torture, ‘but you owe me a two minute make-out session at your front door when I drop you off.'‘No,' she declared. Butt thump. ‘Never.' Hip shimmy. ‘Not happening,' she giggled while rapidly rubbing her panties over my unprotected cock.‘Let her up, Vlad,' Taliyah cooed softly as she ran a manicured hand from my right shoulder to my right buttock. She gave my ass a light pat to 'enforce' her command.‘God damn it,' I grumbled as I rolled off Brandy.I stared up forlornly at the ceiling fan. Brandy 'harrumphed', shot Taliyah a poisonous glance then went to all-fours next to me.‘One minute is all you're going to get, Mister,' she compromised. I leapt off the bed.‘Hurrah!' I fist pumped. The rest of the redressing went off quickly enough. I stripped the bed, rounded up the sheets and hung the comforter on the back veranda to let it air-out. It smelled like cunt juice and sweat, after all. I would put fresh sheets on the bed later. On the trail, I took point since I was the most familiar with the path. Brandy followed then Taliyah with Mikhail taking up the rear.Once we broke out into the bottom land, Taliyah moved up side by side with Brandy and began a sneaky conversation behind my back. According to my brother, they studied me a great deal while whispering. Occasionally, Taliyah shot vile looks back at him. He responded by sticking out his tongue and licking the tip of his nose.We Samsonov men have long, strong, agile tongues. I wasn't sure what genetic malformation was behind that. Upon our return to the stables, Brandy and Taliyah made to leave, but Mikhail stopped them.‘First rule of horse-riding: tend to your mount before tending to yourself.'‘Vlad,' Brandy looked my way. She nibbled on her thumb. ‘Is that a rule you follow; tending to your 'mount' first?'‘Only if I plan to ride her later,' I winked to her. ‘Then I know I'd better pet her, comb her flanks, feed and water her and make sure she is well refreshed before the next ride.'‘Give it a rest!' Mikhail scoffed. ‘She's already fucking you silly. You don't have to sell it.'‘Neanderthal,' Taliyah sneered at him as she shoved past him and back to her mount. Brandy sashayed back into the stables as well. If I wasn't careful, I was going to be picking straw out of my underwear.‘Brandy, what the idiot said, you don't need to convince him,' she teased her blonde friend. Taliyah and Mikhail waged a relentless skirmish resplendent with verbal barbs and rough, handless shoving. Before Brandy and I could get similarly distracted, her phone rang. A fearful flash of her eyes gave away the ID of the caller.‘Hey Darius,' she sounded upbeat. ‘What's up, Baby?' Darius wasn't screaming, so I couldn't make out what he said. I went back to putting away our tack and bridles. ‘I'm; ‘ I mouthed 'tell the truth'. ‘I'm at the Fonteneau House (Mom's family's last name) with Taliyah. Mr. Baxter wanted me to help Alexander and Vladimir with our first Civics project.' Not a total lie.‘What? Isn't what you think; of course, Baby; hold on; ‘ she handed the phone to Taliyah.‘Get us out of here,' Taliyah preempted Darius, almost. ‘We've been; listen Darius; no,' she grew sulky, then, ‘Don't be a Jerk!' she spat. Brandy gasped. Mikhail looked impressed and I was torn between the two reactions.‘I'm not your property; and I'm not your bitch either,' Taliyah grew more belligerent. ‘I don't give a fuck; if Rashaan gives a fuck, he can; fuck you,' she blasted Darius before she killed the connection.‘Taliyah; ‘ Brandy mumbled fearfully. The magnitude of her rebellion began dawning on the Black Cheerleading co-captain.‘Shit Taliyah, if you wanted to sit at our lunch table so bad, I could have told you a half dozen safer ways to do it,' Mikhail chuckled. She backhanded my brother in the chest which only made him laugh harder. Six blows later, he raised his hands in surrender. ‘Fine; you can sit on Alexander's lap next time.'‘Bastard,' Taliyah muttered. Her phone rang. It was Rashaan. ‘Hey Sugah, how's; yeah; with Vlad and his shithead brother Michael.' Mikhail took the opening to grab a breast and squeeze it. ‘Mother-fucker!' she yowled. Mikhail was already running around the horse to escape her.‘What; no; he grabbed my tit; what do you mean?' she dove under the mare and kicked my rambunctious kinsman. ‘Mikhail! No, the other one!' she screamed because Mikhail was starting to wheeze he was laughing so hard. ‘No, that's Vlad; yes, the one with Brandy. Damn Rashaan, you are as dumb as a stump. The Mean One!' she meant Mikhail.‘Triplets means three,' she sounded exasperated. ‘No, that's twins.' Swing and a miss. ‘I'll call you back. I'm making Vlad and Alex twins; No! They are not; Boy! I'll call you back.' Mikhail was howling so loud he fell over on his side, gasping for air. She leapt on him, legs straddling his hips and began wailing on his head and shoulders.‘Shut up you; ‘ Taliyah berated him.‘Excuse me,' Mom's voice snuff out hilarity with all the force of a glacier dropping on a candle wick. Even Taliyah's fury was quelled.‘Ah; ‘ Taliyah stammered, taking in their awkward situation.‘I heard it all; ‘ Mom glared. ‘Mikhail had it coming. Continue if you so desire.' Four sets of eyes blinked in surprise.‘Mom!' Mikhail protested. Taliyah tested these uncharted waters by smacking Mikhail's left arm, the one he was using to shield his head. Mom didn't protest, oh no.‘Bebe, let's get the horses taken care of,' she called over her shoulder. Bebe had been hiding just out of sight. ‘Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes, Vlad. Take your guests home and hurry back.' Bebe and Mom took our places while Brandy and I retreated hand in hand. Taliyah stood up without moving away. Mikhail extended a hand up, expecting her to help him out. Why? I wasn't sure.‘You fell down. Get yourself back up,' she mocked him. Mikhail chuckled, rolled onto his stomach then launched himself into a standing position. She was out the door and striding away when Mom spoke.‘Taliyah, if you want to fuck Mikhail, you'll have to stop being a whore to the football team, non-negotiable.'‘I don't want to fuck your son, Mrs. Samsonov,' Taliyah retorted as she spun around. ‘I hate him.' Mom's responding laughter was cavalier and of a remarkable caliber.‘We all hate the best men for us at some point and time,' she chortled. ‘You'll learn. All of us Samsonov women figure that out eventually.' Taliyah was rendered speechless.‘Now Bebe, get me that curry comb,' Mom truncated the conversation. We'd been dismissed and even the strangers knew it.Back in the house, ‘I hate you,' Taliyah reiterated.‘Thank God,' Mikhail guffawed. ‘I don't think I could survive you being affectionate.' She swung and missed. The chase was on again, except this time they were both laughing.Meanwhile, back at school.Alexander opened the door and walked into Ms. Blanchard's room. Five disinterested black faces and a nervous Ms. Blanchard looked his way.‘Whatchya doing here, Boy?' the leader of the male class sneered.‘Ms. Blanchard,' Alex handed her a note on official school stationary, ‘I've been assigned to your Augmented Benchmark Examinations Retest Group.'The Augmented Benchmark Examinations (ABE) Retest Group was for second-year seniors with special circumstances, such as athletes, who had failed to pass the exam last year thus didn't graduate. If the school failed to pass a certain percentage of student-athletes, the Arkansas Department of Education would suspend all school athletic programs until the school's graduation rate exceeded 85% (of incoming freshmen).For years the big fast bastard of an ex-principal had falsified records, but in 2008, Davis County took over the administration of the tests. After that, Davis County Consolidated High School had been barely limping along academically. Oh, our school had the best 10 year football record in Arkansas and two All-State Championships, but we'd been under academic warning for five of those years and for the past three years we'd been avoiding suspension by the skin of their teeth.How had that Black Fucktard handled the issue? He handed out incentives. In this case, the incentive was Ms. Blanchard. Andrea Blanchard had been fired from her first teaching job out of college in just two months and she took the job here out of desperation. When she arrived, she was given the worst of the worst students both grade- and discipline-wise.Then the principal put the screws to her. She'd been dodging the BBC for her first year. At the end of the spring semester, her English and Social Studies classes were scoring at the bottom of the rankings. She was given an (unpaid) special assignment. She had to help the team's star player (the QB that year) pass his A B E, or she would be fired 'for cause'.That would have ended her hopes of a teaching career. The jerk she was teaching had scored in the bottom ten percentile because he didn't give a shit because he thought he had a scholarship to some school in California. Now he needed summer school to graduate. Did he knuckle down and hit the books? Nah. He was smart enough to pass without much effort.What he did do was dial up the pressure on Ms. Blanchard. Bit by bit, she sold her soul to the super-star until she was a confirmed alcoholic and surrendered up her cunt (and a bit more) when he finally did pass the final exam. He went off to college out west and she got handed off to the next group of hideous under-achievers. Her abuse went on and on.Her retention was continuously based on her ability to motivate raising and repeat seniors to get off their asses and fill out the circles on a 'my IQ is at least 85' test. From the founder of this noxious fraternity, the BBC's developed an interesting ritual to confirm their dominant status.Anal and vaginal sex was forbidden on school grounds, during school hours. The 'students' settled for taking pictures of her sucking their cocks, their cum pooled up in her mouth and her masturbating. Every graduate was allowed to witness her having a gold star tattooed on her buttocks as a constant reminder of her degradation plus all her holes were fair game. How civilized was that?Had she not been half in the bottle most of the time, she might have been able to salvage some sort of academic career. Instead, she was coasting down toward a bitter end with her liver and sanity racing to see which one gave out first. Then Alexander Samsonov stepped into her life. He'd overheard two jocks joking about it when he first took Ms. Blanchard's English class the first day of classes.Since then he'd been slowly getting her to open up a tiny bit. She didn't know the full scope of what he knew about her fate, but my brother's sense of chivalry couldn't let this humiliation continue. His problem was how could he separate her from her tormentors? Neither the Principal nor the Vice-Principal would assign him the class. Not only were his grades far too high, those two knew the deal about Ms. Blanchard's servitude and disability.Exit the Fat Bastard Cocksucker and enter the Nutty-nutjob, Dr. Pierre. One impassioned speech about how Alex wanted to enter one of the doc's alma maters and eldest Samsonov triplet had his new, after-hours class assignment. Classes met from 4:30 to 6:00 pm every Monday and Wednesday with a prep test from 4:15 to 5:15 pm on Fridays.The schedule was built to work around sports training and game days; even away games. Alexander didn't meet the (low) requirements to be in the class, but then Dr. Pierre wasn't qualified to be an educator, so it all even out in the end.‘Oh,' Ms. Blanchard subconsciously pouted. ‘I wasn't aware you needed the help. You are; ‘ she looked over the sea of hostile Black faces, ‘welcome to; join us,' she petered out feebly.‘I will do my best to see all of us get through the ABE together,' he smiled at her, then met the hateful glares of his fellow academic refugees. ‘I want everyone to know the idiocy is going to stop; right here, right now.'‘What was that?' Ms. Blanchard shook away some of her post/after-school vodka haze as she tried to remember what was going on.‘Nothing, Ms. Blanchard,' he smiled at the educator. ‘I'll just take a seat.'Ms. Blanchard returned to her lesson plan for the day and after a few minutes, the boys got boisterous. Alexander had a pre-planned response for that. He took out a blue racket ball from his backpack and a leather-bound addition of 'War and Peace' in its native Russian.The moment Ms. Blanchard seemed truly distracted, with her back turned, he threw the ball at the farthest troublemaker. He let the guy know it was coming too. What happened next was the normal human reaction. The other four momentarily looked over to see if the fifth guy caught the ball. He did. Alex was being obvious about it.That also meant only the ball-catcher saw Alex smash W and P into the back of the closest moron's head. He blasted his fellow student out of his chair. The book's follow-through placed it back into Alex's backpack before anyone else was the wiser. The victim crashed violently into the Black guy next to him and the both went to the floor.‘What's going on?' Andrea asked when she turned around. She found two of her students on the floor (one cradling his cranium) one with a blue ball, two staring at Alexander with a 'wtf?' expression on their faces and an angelic Alexander staring at her.‘He hit Darnell with a book,' Devonte (aka the ball guy) exclaimed.‘This book?' Alexander motioned to the open ABE paperback book he had open in front of him, on the desk.‘No,' he grumbled. ‘The one you just hid.'‘Mother-fucker,' Tucker, (aka the Collateral Damage guy) pulled himself up. ‘I'm going to kick your; ‘ he threatened.‘My head,' the target moaned. ‘I think he dun broke ma head wide open.'‘Everyone calm down,' Andrea wavered.‘Of course, Ms. Blanchard,' Alex remained civil. ‘I must point out that Darnell appears to have been hit in the back of his skull. He must have been facing forward, listening to your lecture, so his attacker had to be someone behind him and that means it certainly wasn't me.'‘Bitch,' Tucker balled up his fists.‘Are you implying you want to view my testicles,' Alexander mocked him.‘Please everyone sit down,' Andrea pleaded.‘Your brothers aren't here to back you up,' Jase (the other guy closest to him) menaced. His buddy, Lamar, stood as well.‘I said 'please sit down',' Andrea turned shrill.‘Bitch,' Jase turned on her. ‘Sit your ass down!' He emphasized that by driving his first and middle finger into her sternum. Threatening the teacher brought Alexander out of his chair. Until that point, he'd been in the wrong.‘Care to try that on me?' Alexander challenged him.He had four; three actually (Darnell still hadn't gotten off the floor) buddies backing him up and they were all football players. Jase rose to the bait.‘Bitch,' he did the finger poke on Alex, ‘I told you, OW!' he screamed as my brother grabbed his two fingers, twisted his palm upwards then bent the fingers down toward the back of his hand.The others looked ready to rush in.

Winch on a Jeep, or a ‘wench?' It's “Trash Talkin' Tuesday” with the morning's biggest stories, including government waste and the left's lack of solutions after another school shooting. Hour 2 of the Tuesday Bob Rose Show for 12-17-24

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode is with my blooming lovely first-born sister (technically half-sister) Hatty Greenway. This podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Stream my stand up show WENCH on YouTube, and listen to both of my Radio 4 series STURDY GIRLS CLUB on BBC Sounds now. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode is with incredible journalist and presenter KATE QUILTONThis podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Stream my stand up show WENCH on YouTube, and listen to both of my Radio 4 series STURDY GIRLS CLUB on BBC Sounds now. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode is with the utterly brilliant comedian LUCY PORTER who is on tour now!This podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Stream my stand up show WENCH on YouTube, and listen to both of my Radio 4 series STURDY GIRLS CLUB on BBC Sounds now. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chicago noise rockers BIG'N will return next week with their first album in nearly thirty years, End Comes Too Soon, via Computer Students. Drummer Brian Wnukowski and vocalist Bill Akins discuss the details of the band's history, reformation, new record, and expectations, on this episode of Getting It Out.Music by:Wench!Big'nMiracle BloodIntro music by:Hot ZonePatreon: https://www.patreon.com/GettingitoutpodcastEmail: dan@gettingitout.netWebsite: http://gettingitout.net/Instagram: @getting_it_out_podcastFacebook: www.facebook.com/gettingitoutpodcastX: @GettingItOutPod Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode American fitness coach and internet sensation JAMES CAPPOLAThis podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Stream my stand up show WENCH on YouTube, and listen to both of my Radio 4 series STURDY GIRLS CLUB on BBC Sounds now. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Send us a textOn this week's episode,  WE ARE BACK!! After a long hiatus, the bitches are back and we have so much to yap about!! Catch up with us as we discuss our summers, the weddings we've been to, the cockroaches we've encountered, the rotisserie chickens we've eaten and the tv shows we've binged. We play a game of what's in and what's out and smash or pass. Did you miss us?! Because we missed you!!!! 

Joel's bar wench is back and he has a lot to say to Ricki. Tim, however, not so much.. As Australia eagerly awaits the arrival of King Charles and Queen Camilla, we have a crack at guessing what type of music the Royals listen to while travelling - pretty sure we nailed it! Happy Birthday 'Raining Diamonds'!!! Ricki celebrates her 13-year-old music baby and reminisces on this iconic X Factor performance. She also reveals which of her songs featured in Sex And The City 2... It's New Music Friday so of course, we're adding some bangers to the playlist. Plus, Joel's been reading BuzzFeed and shares some dirty cheating stories that are so unbelievable you just have to hear them. Oh, and where have you raved? Ricki has discovered the rave of her dreams and it combines her love for a certain fast food chain - could it be time for another team trip?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. Follow this brilliant young MP Nadia Whittome ON INSTAGRAM here. She donated her fee for this podcast to PALESTINIAN MEDICAL AID charity called map. Chuck something that way yourself if you can? This podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Stream my stand up show WENCH on YouTube, and listen to both of my Radio 4 series STURDY GIRLS CLUB on BBC Sounds now. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. Please make sure you're following RHYS NICHOLSON and catch them while they're ON THEIR UK TOUR.We ate at the OMNI COLLECTIVE and it was f***ing spectacular. This podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Stream my 2022 stand up show WENCH and listen to both of my Radio 4 series STURDY GIRLS CLUB on BBC Sounds now. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. Follow SOPH'S PLANT KITCHEN on Instagram where you'll soon be able to pre-order her book.This podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Stream my 2022 stand up show WENCH and listen to both of my Radio 4 series STURDY GIRLS CLUB on BBC Sounds now. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode is with the stratospherically massive comedian JOSH WIDDICOMBE and was recorded during the 2024 Machynlleth Comedy Festival.All our goodies came from MACHYNLLETH brilliant HERMIT CRAB COFFEE shop. Our fudge came from the DYFI DAIRY who make RADICALLY KIND FUDGE. Josh is very likely to have very big news about something he's made that he'd love you to see, very soon - to be the first to find out what, make sure you're on his mailing list HERE This podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Stream my 2022 stand up show WENCH and listen to both of my Radio 4 series STURDY GIRLS CLUB on BBC Sounds now. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode is with the absolutely brilliant writer OLIVIA POTTSHer latest book which we pay ode to in this episode is called BUTTER: A CELEBRATIONThis podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Stream my 2022 stand up show WENCH and listen to both of my Radio 4 series STURDY GIRLS CLUB on BBC Sounds now. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

PODCAST NOTES:Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode is with travel writer and broadcaster JON HOLMES His new BBC Radio 4 and BBC Sounds series is called JON HOLMES SAYS THE C WORD This podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.You can still see my show METTLE at the Edinburgh Fringe.DOWNLOAD or stream my last show WENCH. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode is with the current fittest woman in the UK, AIMEE CRINGLEThis podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.You can still see my show METTLE at the Edinburgh Fringe.DOWNLOAD or stream my last show WENCH. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode is with comedian JACOB HAWLEYSee him in Edinburgh and on tour with his show SPACEThis podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.You can still see my show METTLE at the Edinburgh Fringe.DOWNLOAD or stream my last show WENCH. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Judges 14

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode is with comedian AMY MASONGo and her brilliant debut hour FREE MASONThis podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.You can still see my show METTLE in Falmouth or at the Edinburgh Fringe.DOWNLOAD or stream my last show WENCH. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode is with comedian CHARLIE GEORGEThis podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.GET TICKETS NOW to see me on tour with my new show METTLE. DOWNLOAD or stream my last show WENCH. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode is with excellent comedian and lovely man LARRY DEAN. You can get tickets to his NEW EDINBURGH SHOW, DODGER by clicking those words that are in big.This podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.GET TICKETS NOW to see me on tour with my new show METTLE. DOWNLOAD or stream my last show WENCH. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. Star of Ab Fab and Bottom turned author HELEN LEDERER and you have to grab her book NOT THAT I'M BITTERThis podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.GET TICKETS NOW to see me on tour with my new show METTLE. DOWNLOAD or stream my last show WENCH. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. Ex-England and Saracens rugby hero, VICKY FLEETWOODThis podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.GET TICKETS NOW to see me on tour with my new show METTLE. DOWNLOAD or stream my last show WENCH. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. Glorious comedian Alyssa Kyria aka TheFunnyMummyUKGO AND SEE HER ON TOURThis podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.GET TICKETS NOW to see me on tour with my new show METTLE. DOWNLOAD or stream my last show WENCH. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey discuss Rogue Leviss and Jo joining forces, Nancy Grace's Diddy takedown, a blood-drained body found in an abandoned Italian church, and the unsettling story of a Dutch twenty-something's euthanasia wish. Back on The Valley, the disastrous Capri dinner continues, and Doute digs herself into a deeper hole. Zack avoids the hot seat, Jesse sees Michelle in a new light, the dads head to the Ventura County Fair, and Brittany and Danny help Luke and Kristen get their f*ck on. Then, Janet holds her breath for an awkward run in with Doute at a gala, who makes her blackout chess play to win back Michelle.Buy tickets to the SUP SUMMER 2024 TOUR!Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video episodes by joining the SUP PATREON.Be cheap as hell and get full-length videos of the pod for free by subscribing to the SUP YOUTUBE.Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TIKOK. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode is with Tik Tok and instagram sensation LAGOMCHEF aka Martyn Odell. Check out his YOUTUBE channel he's got now as well!This podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.GET TICKETS NOW to see me on tour with my new show METTLE. DOWNLOAD or stream my last show WENCH. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This is an Easter special with DALISO CHAPONDA and HATTY ASHDOWN which we recorded live from the LEICESTER COMEDY FESTIVAL. This podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.GET TICKETS NOW to see me on tour with my new show METTLE. STREAM my last show Wench, for free. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This Mother's Day special episode is with your Mum and mine DIANE CARSON from TRAITORS This podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.GET TICKETS NOW to see me on tour with my new show METTLE. STREAM my last show Wench, for free. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

PODCAST NOTES:Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. This episode was recorded remotely with the wonderful writer, chef and expert leftover-user-upper ELLY PEAR, real name Elly Curshen. This podcast is largely funded on PATREON where if you join up you'll have access to masses to exclusive and advance content from guest recipes to personal mentions and one-to-one virtual meet ups with me.GET TICKETS NOW to see me on tour with my new show METTLE. DOWNLOAD or stream my last show WENCH. For my work news the fastest way to learn things is to please join MY MAILING LIST Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The hosts meet a tavern wench working to unionize a nearby tavern.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampUsidore: Matt YoungChunt: Adal RifaiPennywhistle DuGuava: Katelyn HempsteadMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiAssociate Producer: Anna HavermannPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Stephen DrangerMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandCheck out the new merch at our Teepublic store!Follow the show on YouTube to listen to the episode alongside two dynamic static animations of the tavern!You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on X and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Cardi B Throws Microphone at Concertgoer Who Tossed a Drink at Her While Performing in Las Vegas (People) (11:14)Lisa Hochstein Slams Estranged Husband Lenny For Getting Engaged to ‘Mistress' While Still Married (Page Six) (17:00)Harry Styles Flashes New Tattoo Seemingly Dedicated to Ex Olivia Wilde (Page Six) (24:05)Teresa Giudice Calls Sofia Vergara The ‘Rudest' Celebrity She's Ever Met (Page Six) (31:35)Musk Explains Why He's Rebranding Twitter to X (CNBC) (40:16)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) The Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1. Rihanna Is British Vogue's March 2023 Cover Star (VOGUE) (16:55) 2. Ryan Seacrest Departing 'Live', Kelly Ripa to Be Joined by Husband Mark Consuelos Permanently (PEOPLE) (26:33) 3. Meghan Markle's 2014 blog post about Kate Middleton's wedding resurfaces (Page Six) (33:35) 4. Vermont Man's Book Becomes a Bestseller 10 Years After Its Release (PEOPLE) (40:51) 5. Captain of Soccer Team in 2018 Thai Cave Rescue Dies from Head Injury in U.K. (PEOPLE) (52:31) The Toast with Jackie  (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry  (@girlwithnojob)  Merch The Toast Patreon Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry