Head-ON With Bob Kincaid

Morans everywhere! Cankles Caligula sends the Pentagon scrambling after his dementia convinces him (and, of course, Natalie) that he attacked Khard Island. SCOTUS lets him keep building his ballroom. Laws? They don't need no stinkin' laws! Sammy Bad Breath Alito is as crooked as a dog's hind leg and it's all in print. A tale of two ICE abductions. 

Take a breath and enjoy the weekend.  But first, Friday! ICE still torturing, Nero still Nit-witting, MAGATS still-preying-on-the-dead. I hate it when the MAGAT Media crowns a new boogie-man: Haaaaaaaasan CHOP Piker. Who tf does he think he is, Kemal atta-Dweeb? I can still remember chatting with his uncle at a DC bar, We were both there on the same nickel. He was as interesting as a gently stewed stalk of celery. Apparently, it's a family trait.

This Reaper 2nd Class is a real screw-up, This time, the order was "Take the octogenarian war criminal." Swing-and-a-miss on that, too. He's never gonna earn his sickle at this rate. And then, in the land of the living, there's Ricky Schroeder. What a monumental ASS.  Do we really believe the Head Spook went to Mother Russia to warn his Spook Counterpart not to invade a NATO country? How does that make any sense?  Cankles Caligula goes on (another) renaming binge. Over in THE Buckeye State, Amy Acton's gone MAGA-Lite while a hundred thousand Ohioans have lost healthcare thanks the MAGATs. 

Grim Reaper goes Oh-for-2 on getting the right 80 y/o. RIP, Tim Curry. What a talent! And oh, that baritone!  Lest we forget, the ICE goons are still out there, violating the law, trashing the Constitution, abducting and tormenting ordinary people minding their own business.  Their must be an accounting and a reckoning. 

Heart. Broken. Too, also: a certain fury. Now Dolly lives in every memory of her. 

An Epstein bombshell exploded over the weekend. I've been waiting for the shockwaves. In a just world, Todd Blanche and JoJo Blondi would be getting measured for their prison togs.  Hakeem Jefferies (presumably unintentionally) shone a ginormous spotlight on the basic incestuous problem in high level politics. In what world is the Dem Minority Leader swanning around with a vulgar, fascist pustule like Jared Kushner a good idea? Who told him it would be? 

No surprise, but guess what! The MAGATS torment animals. And RFK is a literal quack.

The anti-Flock insurgency grows, alongside the national loathing for data centers. Monkey-up DeKlantis outs child sexual abuse victim. MAGAT Whor, er, White House leaps to the defense of AI porn. Because of course. 

In the midst of all the madness, I thought an explainer might be in order as to why I call it "Cankles Caligula."

Is every MAGAT in a position of power a disgusting predator? TW/CW Exhibit 9274138275925: Mike Caruso, until recently a dear ally of Monkey Up DeKlantis. Fox ex-Marine trashes sailors aboard the Lincoln. News of another broken down warship. White supremacist was the driving force behind a young academic's recent suicide. 

Flood waters rage across the place I love and call home. My grandmother built on high ground. I was addled. Sorry. Regardless, the world descends into madness. There's an awesome challenge on the table. We need only $400 to turn into $1500 and keep the community going for another month. Can you help?

More MAGAT rats off the sinking ship. Between the coke nose-wipes and the flailing arms, the DUI Hire needs a drug test. Nitwit Nero says sailors aboard the Lincoln haven't been at sea long enough. That stinking coward would sh, (never mind: redundant) if he had to serve aboard any warship. MAGATS leave a children's cancer fundraiser at Maga Loco (shame on you, St. Jude's) to go to a strip joint and play "hot potato" with a sex toy. 

An epic three-hour FiliRoxster! OMG, grumpy Grampy MAGAT is back on the steam catapults . . . even as AMERICAN SAILORS are trying to kill themselves just to get away from hell-on-earth aboard one of the gems (germs?) of the fleet. Never mind the sailors. Daddy wants to rip the guts out of the Ford to install technology we used in WW II. That high-pitched distant sound on the wind that you hear? That's Trump's handler, Pooty, giggling in pure glee.  Karoline "Real Poo-Poo" Leavitt deciding to bounce because Marcus Whorelius left her as missile fodder in favor of his Diaper Nanny rather pales in comparison. Still, it was enough to make her bail.

Murder victims have a way of outing their truth. be it a half-century ago or a year. Karoline "Real Poo-Poo" Leavitt suddenly calls it quits, even with Orange Julius Geezer begging her to stay. Shocking news about new equipment for the ICE goons, $20M worth. Patriot shouts down an ICE goon in Virginia. Whalehead Deadbear Raccoon Penis Brainworm-Lamprey moves forward in his MAHA(hahahahahaha) crusade against "ultra-processed food," but no one even knows what the phrase means.  

Nitwit Nero uses Press Corps as assassination decoys. Anti-vaxxer idiots refuse transfusions of "vaccinated blood." Young incels adopt "looksmaxxing" and screw up their faces. Ken Paxton can't even do a phone conference without having his slimy past thrown in his face. Max Miller agrees people should keep their sisters/daughters/female friends away from him.

How pathetic are the Manly Magat Men Of Maximum Masculinity? Thinketh they their excrement literally smelleth not foul. Yet, their befouled Daddy wrinkleth the nose of ye Almighty even as he doth slumber. Nitit Nero tries to go low on Abdul Sayed, and discovers he doesn't play that "we go high" game. He cuts Cankles Caligula off at the knees and kicks his orange ass for being short.  Todd Blanche gets confirmed "in the dead still and dark of night," immediately gets hailed before a Federal Judge with the rising of the sun.  Handy Smurf has boy problems. HER boy. HIS felony problems. 

Sen Bill Cassidy adds further shame and infamy to his name. His Epstein Filter is even more degraded as Cankles Caligula's worsening dementia vomits out a new vulgarity.  Circuit Court kiboshes the ballroom and calls Nitwit Nero a "tenant" and sends him into his latest tirade.  Ol' Serpent Head continues to shed relevance as he throws another hissy over "Socialists." JuiceBox Jeanine is dangling by the thinnest of threads.  

At least five MAGAT senators have demanded that Max"-imum T" Miller quit the House over allegations of his 'roided up abuse of his wife and daughter. Know what's weird (or maybe not, because reasons)? An actual ordained Southern Baptist Minister (Moses Mike Johnson) HASN'T.  Someone wrote a "statement" that Moscow Mitch has gone home. Who knew His Satanic Majesty had a PR Department. Wait. He has ALL the PR people.  The palm of the Goddess of Irony's hand is nowhere anyone wants to be, but look! There's Jimmie Dick or Jaydee or whatever the VP is calling themself these days. 

Crises on the high seas. And surprise! They're both brought to us by the Dimwit Donnie Derpdustrial Complex.  Humiliation in the offing in two separate federal courtrooms for Nitwit Nero's bottom-of-the-pickle-barrel pettifoggers. Victory in Michigan and Mike Rogers thinks all those Browns look alike. 

As of this writing, the clock is ticking yet again. This time, the bell tolls for Max Miller and his political ambitions. He has until 11;59:59 pm EDT of 4 August 2026 to quit his campaign; but Orange Daddy didn't tell him to quit, so . . .  Oh, and the cowardly perfidy of a MAGAT scorned proves once again proves disgustingly resilient. Todd Blanchey makes it out of Senate Judiciary.  

It's Magic Moscow Mitch Day and still no sign of life. Gov. Andy Beshear's patience is wearing thin at the disrespect. Nitwit Nero, after four hours of "Executive Time" (when they medicate him to something resembling functionality), does Dementia Storytime in a hissy over JuiceBox Jeanine's decision to save her law license by dismissing the entirely Trumped-up reflecting pool scam. Along the way, he confesses that he was the twit who came up with using a fragile pool liner. Vivek may be headed for defeat as MAGATS go all to pieces in Duhio. 

TGIF (?!)  Whaddaya reckon Juice Box Jeanine is doing atm?  Data Centers  Discuss.

Pay No Mind To The Banner At The Top Of The HORN Webpage Petey Becomes A Name For Being Put Upon (get that man a year's supply of "Albatross: The Cursed Treat" A MAGAT Scorned: Cornholio Twists the Screw Whyhio? Why? Why Do You Want To Be Talabama?   We do pack SO very much into three hours*.     Did you know that of the precious few three-hour progressive talk programs that remain on commercial radio, each hour only has forty or fewer minutes per hour of genuine content? The H.O.R.N.? Three hours is THREE hours.   

Meet the new pissant, same as the old pissant. Rand Paul brings his new McCarthyism to a senate hearing. At this point, Dr. Fauci should get a protective order for stalking against the Liberturdian Opfamologist. Nappy Napoleon rages because he's too stupid to get out of the war he started as Iran slowly turns the screws. Todd Blanche's nomination needs more proof of life than Moscow Mitch. 

Lady G gets his send-off to his long home in the dirt. Cankles Caligula, of course, damned him with faint praise, then promptly went nappy-bye. Moscow Mitch, on the other hand, remains Schrodinger's Senator. The pogrom against Haitian people begins. Haitian people will suffer the most, but there's a knock-on effect that may likely hit MAGATS, as well as decent people.  

The panic over Epstein grows. . . panic over DSA is so febrile at the Murdoch Street Journal that they may hyperventilate. BezoPo just can't quit Biden. Nitwit Nero hasn't much mind left to lose. 

The week comes to an unmerciful close. TW/CW: MAGATS and their ditch-dwellers are capable of unspeakably disgusting behavior. 

When MAGAT groups get the data, but not the conclusion. Nitwit Nero fumbles in Mayretta, Georgia and everyone saw his even-more-rotten hand. MAGAT Congresscreeps run from questions about one of Cankles Caligula's endorsed candidates. A disgusting new trend emerges at Dollar tree. Todd Blanche's bootlick gets a drubbing in Federal Court. 

Tech issues again  this evening. Oof.  Whiskey Pete gets hammered under cross examination by Jon Ossoff in the Senate. Mike Waltz, using the same talking points, gets the same treatment in the House.  Another MAGAT pedophile gets busted . . . and your 'umble 'ostess actually knows him and called it years ago. 

"Welcome aboard Flight 666 bound straight for Hell! We'll now begin showing IDs to vote."   "Welcome to Olive Garden! May I see your Voter I.D.?"  Insane.

Creeps. Of almost every stripe. MAGAT sexual predators. MAGAT self-hating women. Joann Rowling. And of course, the Creep-In-Chief, itself.

On the way out the door, Russell Vought finally heard words he's needed to hear ages ago. ICE goon outed by his ex-wife for murdering an innocent man. Todd Blanche and his pettifoggers get busted making up legal precedents. Dem Ohio Gov nominee shoots herself in the foot . . . with Democrats.

Todd Blanche goes to Capitol Hill . . . and faceplants. "I made a big mistake," he said of the J6 slush fund . . . and then weaseled around. It was a bad day, even worse for Jay Clayton da Turd, who humuliated himself with his bellycrawling routine. 

It's the darnedest thing. The only thing Moscow Mitch's "proof-of-life" is proving is that only feeble-minded MAGAT simps are falling for it. 

"For God's sake, let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of queens." -Shakespeare, if the truth be told. Lindsey Graham is dead.

Thanks, again, SCOTUS! That whole "fire-em-if-you-got-em" ruling is already yielding Federalist Society/Heritage Foundation dividends, yeah? ICE goons murder again . . . and try to abduct the witnesses out-of-country. Nitwit Nero doesn't understand that not signing a bill means IT BECOMES LAW. I'faith, we breathe the ether of the Moronosphere.  Oddly enough, I mentioned Generalissmo Fracisco Franco, who is still dead. OTOH, Moscow Mitch is become Schrödinger's Senator: both dead and alive at the same time until someone opens the box/hospital room/sliding drawer in the hospital morgue.  Have an AWESOME Weekend. 

Like we always say: So far ahead of the curve it's like we're on straight road. Hi, Jehosaphat! We tried to tell you it wasn't about trans people in the military. That, as in 1933, was just the starting point. Whiskey Pete won't quit until he has a racially "pure" all-white military. Now it's the Navy's turn. internecine bickering erupts in the MAGAT-o-sphere over Dead Charlie. WineBox Jeanine's pettifoggers had an embarrassing day in court. Nitwit Nero's out $5M + interest. 

We.Are.Impervious! Been raining all day, but the roof is tarped. And, Do Jesus, Dill Harris, but what a day! Nitwit Nero on the loose in NATO. Graham Platner's campaign corkscrews into the dirt. And then, and thennnnnn . . . a new birth of crazy. 

So there you are: all ready for the evening and then . . . Graham Platner. DAMMit!  Oh, well, at least you have the boys' soccer team, Oh. Oops.

This 250th celebration could have been joyous. That was the idea when planning started in 2016, but everything goes to somewhere south of hell with Nitwit Nero. Fortunately, no one is there to get heat stroke other than his cult members. Otherwise, it's business as usual at places like Focks. Papa Leo puts another shot across Nitwit Nero's bow.  Happy 250th! May our 251st be a new birth of freedom! 

Wine Box Jeanine brags about another insane, fascist indictment. Yep! Felonious Water-touching. And she's NOT going to talk about January 6! Nitwit Nero wants a "threesome" with his "two beautiful sons." Day 18 of McConnell Watch. Is he dead? Is he not? How could anyone tell? Todd "34 Felonies" Blanche screws up. Again. Some more. Dancers dodge death as tacky stage begins to fall apart on the Mall. 

There's always a surfeit of madness, evil, and stupidity on this rotten timeline. Regardless, some dates have more gravity for me than others and that gravity exists outside the vulgarities of the present. This is one such date.  More times than I can count, people have said to me, "write a book." There's never been enough time. Once in awhile, though, the waves of memory crash on the shores of my present. As Mrs. Lowman said, "Attention must be paid." Still, make no mistake, we live in a time dominated by evil, venal, hateful people. We've got them here, too. 

The entirely illegitimate SCOTUS bugged out till October today, but not before barely keeping the 14th Amendment on life support while trashing its Equal Protection clause in regard to the tiniest and most vulnerable majority in the entire country. Ahistorical members of the multimillionaire ForProfit Media declared a "win," when it really wasn't. Fascists never stop attacking. 

Nitwit Nero's pet SCOTUS sends him home with E. Jean Carroll's judgment against him intact and unchanged. Even they know he's a sexual predator. OTOH, they also upended a hundred years of precedent to let Cankles Caligula fire agency officials will-ye-nil-ye. Cool. Firing MAGATS is gonna be big fun in a few years! 

To be "fair," Nitwit Nero's carnival is a big, ol' flop. But if you go, watch out for Uncle Sam. Vile, thy name is (Nut)Megyn. Or Katie Miller. Or Or Or . . . 

SCOTUS confirms the murderous fascists they are, then Sammy Bad-breath Alito howls when he's kicked. 

What? Matrimonial feuding in the Whor, er, White House? Carpet in the Imperial Potty? Quel horreur! A shouting match with Cankles Caligula at a plumb-dignified MAGAT Senate lunch-ee-on! Flu running wild among the boots at Lackland. The details are entirely un-shocking. Postmaster General admits he wants to deny mail-in ballots. 

Pettifoggers be pettifogging! Nitwit Nero faces a J6 trial just because he decided to sue the Beeb. The similarities between Stephen Miller and his hero, Heydrich, come into closer focus. 

The pool ain't pooling. The ducks are dying. Jaydee ain't vice-presidenting. The Iranians ain't surrendering. And the Israelis murdered the turtle lady. Proving what the HORN Community knows, the WaPo is declaring that gasp Tulsi is, was, and always has been a member of a cult. We've only been talking about that for nigh a decade. 

Nitwit Nero gives new meaning to "pool coverage." Fascist Italian PM earns worldwide praise for calling out a classic Julius Geezer lie. New "acting" DNI chief comes to work with a kill list. 

At a party in Chicago, America saw what we once were, and may yet be again. And Ms. Michele scorched Nitwit Nero worse than burnt milk in a hot iron skillet. Kudos, Mrs. Obama for playing your own part in Stoking the Stroke! He, meanwhile, continues to fall apart. His candidates are perverts (surprise!) and his nominees have no self-respect. OTOH, he showed up in Europe (of all places!) without his makeup and looked like the fragile, old, frail, husk that he is.  And his bootlickers finger the cigarettes in their pockets.  Hell, I may spark a stogie on The Day.