Pursuits of Passion

PMS looks different for many women. Symptoms during this time vary from person to person however it is not a secret that it can be an emotionally charged time. In this episode, I share a personal PMS story and 4 helpful tips I have acquired along the way, to navigate sex, marriage, and PMS.   Find more encouragement by following the podcast on FACEBOOK or INSTAGRAM

Can money be a tense topic in your marriage?  Today my guest gives us some insight as to what’s going on deeper behind the money issues in marriage. Shaunti Feldhahn has completed extensive research around the tie between love, money, and relationships, and reveals some of the things she found on today's episode. She also paints a picture of what becoming a true team in handling our money looks like as a married couple. Toward the end of the episode Shaunti describes how we as wives can take steps toward unity in our finances with our husbands. Resources: Buy the Book Here Take the Free Assessment  Research   

Does any sign of conflict in your marriage make you cringe or run for the hills? Let's be honest, marriage provides no shortage of opportunities to practice conflict resolution skills. This week we get to hear part two of the Conflict as a Catalyst conversation with Dr. Juli Slattery. She discusses what our ultimate goal should be when faced with a situation of marital tension and get into how the "right and wrong" perspective can be dangerous to a healthy marriage. The topic of dancing also comes up and is tied to conflict, sex, and marriage.  Links: Java with Juli Authentic Intimacy Conflict as a Catalyst devotional 

Conflict is a part of every marriage. And arguably, not a fun part for many people. On today's episode Dr. Juli Slattery gives a different perspective to conflict based off of her latest devotional on the You Version Bible App. This is part 1 of a two part series. We talk about how when healthy conversations surround conflict, it can lead to a deeper intimate connection with your spouse. This episode is part 1 where Juli shares what happens in our brains when strife occurs and the difference between fighting and healthy conflict.  Resources: Jave With Juli Authentic Intimacy Free "Conflict as a Catalyst" Devotional 

Media and pop culture sends us the message as wives that if we don't have amazing sex with our spouse every time we "do it" that there is something wrong.  In this episode I talk about having boring sex. Boring sex is defined by: the physical act of sex in a way that may not include orgasms for both parties, may seem monotonous, and is used as a means to an end.  I break down when it is not the best idea to settle for a watered down intimate life, and when maybe settling for mediocre sex can be beneficial.   Resources: Spice up your sex life with a Passion Pursuit Bible Study  Podcast - When God Wakes Up Your Love Life Blog- Quarantine Love Life Christian Friendly Sex Positions    

 On today’s episode Joy Skarka joins us. She is the director of discipleship at Authentic Intimacy and is passionate about sharing her story of redemption. Joy was recently published in a book titled Sanctified Sexuality where she writes about Forced Sexuality. Today we get to hear her story and how her experience with sexual assault has affected her spiritual life as well as her married life. Joy gives us a glimpse into what intimacy looks like after healing from a difficult sexual past and she also is not shy when stating blessings she has seen along the way.  Resources:  Authentic Intimacy online bible studies  Podcast with Joy Rape Culture Blog Series  

Sometimes in the midst of the day to day, it seems like a difficult task to think of a great gift for your husband. In this episode, I take you through my fool-proof thought process that always helps generate great gift ideas that are practical. I'll give you a secret, searching your husband's internet history is not it!  Early in the episode, I also share a Biblical story of gift giving that occurred the night before Jesus died. This story helps point to the spiritual significance behind gift giving and goes hand in had with the Gospel story.  IMPORTANT NOTE: I mention an average of "$50,000." This is NOT an actual statistic of the average yearly wages nor is it an actual figure for the worth of the perfume.  IMPORTANT NOTE: NOT mentioned is lingerie. I think this goes without saying, it is usually a pretty safe gift to purchase for him (and yourself). Resources:  Alabaster Jar story- Mark 14:3-9, Matthew 26:6-13, John 12:1-8 https://www.ruggedmeats.com/ https://www.intl-pop.com/ https://stevespaleogoods.com/collections/nut-butter  

The mind is the biggest sex organ we have. On this episode, Dr. Jennifer Degler, a psychologist, life coach, speaker, and author, talks candidly about some of the mental road blocks women have when seeing themselves as sexual beings. She also sheds light on some practical tips for women who may have a hard time getting in the mood or shutting off their mind to distractions during intercourse. Say goodbye to staring at the ceiling, Jennifer has a few great tricks that can help ignite your sex life. Dr. Degler works hard in her ministry to make Christian sex lives sizzle. Here are some of her great resources: - Her Webpage - FREE Dare of the month Newsletter - Cwives

Different influences throughout our lives can lead us to have different images of what a godly wife actually is. In this episode, I take a look into scripture to see what "godly" means as well as some examples of wives in the Word. I also note the dictionary definitions of 'godly' and finally share what I personally mean by "encouraging women to be godly wives..." Scripture mentioned: Proverbs 31 Titus 2:11-14 Psalms 4:3-4 Julie Slattery Quote resource  Check out the podcast on facebook, instagram, and my webpage!  

In this episode I sit down with an old friend, Lauren Green, who gives awesome insight into how to talk to our children about sex and their sexuality. We cover a few different age groups and the topics which may be discussed with a Biblical worldview. She also speaks to why it is imperative that our children learn about their sexuality from their parents.  Later in the episode we talk about how the culture influences our children's view of sexuality and how discussing safety topics is more important now than ever.  Finally we cover the role a healthy marriage plays in talking to our kids and how a couple can get on the same page prior to opening up doors to conversations with their children. If you have kiddos, this is a great one to listen to! Resources:  Sexuality By Design Curriculum God Made All of Me 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Kids to Biblical Sexuality The Focus on the Family Guide to Talking with Your Kids about Sex Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Jr. Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Not If But When  

Do you want to have a successful date night with your lover? In this episode I outline the 5 guidelines I think lead to success. Although Jesus himself never went on any dates and we cannot emulate his example explicitly, I do share something about his behavior around people that we could easily carry over into our special time with our spouses.  Share this light episode with a girlfriend and review Pursuits of Passion on itunes! 

The fight against sexual temptation is not a battle fought by only nonbelievers who are unmarried. Married men and women who love the Lord have these struggles as well.  My guest today, Jonathan Daugherty, joins me and sheds light into how we open up these vulnerable conversations with our spouse. He gives ideas on how to achieve intimacy and a better understanding of your husband when fears may arise surrounding this topic. Jonathan works in a ministry that provides resources for men, women, and families, to help them move from sexual brokenness to wholeness in Christ. Resources: Ministry Page: https://2.bebroken.com/ Jonathan's Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pure-sex-radio/id174194853  His Books: https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Based-Recovery-Safe-Place/dp/1948130114 Jonathan's Story: https://2.bebroken.com/jonathans-story.html Women's Resources: https://2.bebroken.com/womens-resource-page.html

Learning that the nuptials do not rid a man (or woman) from sexual struggles, is a difficult and harsh reality. Men are visually stimulated and living in our hyper-sexualized culture inevitably leads to struggles along the way.  In this episode I share a personal story of my own ignorance as a wife. I also share two concepts I learned early into marriage.  1. Men are visual and can be tempted easily, but being tempted is not living in sin. 2. Learning how to fight and flee from sexual struggles WITH your husband is part of a spiritual union we are called to as wives. Although temptations may be hurtful, coming alongside him to fight is important.  Todays Resources: Mindset Journal  Reclaim Conference Reclaim Promo Video

It’s officially the one year anniversary of this podcast. To celebrate, in this episode I answer some of the questions you submitted. From deep to silly, this episode is meant to celebrate the one year mark of Pursuits of Passion. Listen to hear which episode was my favorite, how I pray for my husband, and what we do as a couple at bedtime.

For some women, a physical connection is better made when an emotional connect is made first. In this episode, I share what my husband did emotionally that sparked a physical reaction. Before that, I discuss the old wounds that had been brought to the surface with the high racial tensions over the last few weeks and how my husband responded to the tears.   Next episode will be the 1 Year Anniversary of Pursuits of Passion. This episode will be Q&A style and I would LOVE to answer any questions you have. Submit your questions to the social media links below or at https://www.tiffanyhardenberg.com/. Join the Community: Instagram/Facebook

Sometimes when you read, you learn and understand your surroundings a little bit better. The book "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge gives insight into the adventurous nature of a man and is helpful for understanding this need.  In this episode I talk about how taming our husbands can be our unconscious agendas as wives. Men are wild. They need adventure. And learning more about the beginning of man, in Genesis, has shed light on my personal understanding of them. I share how taming their drive and passion for adventure could have negative effects on the marriage and intimacy.  Book: Wild At Heart Submit 1 Year Anniversary Questions here!

In this episode, I'm filling you in as to why biting my tongue has been at the forefront of my mind. I share how, as wives, we have the ability to bring our husbands death and life with our words. Proverbs and James is littered with warnings and wisdom in regards to how we use our tongues.  Did you know that the statistic for how many positive interactions cancel out a negative one is 5:1. The better solution that does not involve constant positive comments and compliments is found in James. Quick to hear, slow to speak. The true wisdom of biting your tongue has been shared to us by the brother of Jesus and I believe, when its practiced, can change your marriage for the good.  Check out... Today's Christian Woman Article Andy Stanley's Podcast Follow the Podcast on Instagram

Gender stereotypes can wreak havoc on relationships especially when you don't fit into it. In this episode I talk about the flip side of a gender stereotype that can make a woman feel dirty, abnormal, and weird. What happens when you want to have sex more often than your husband? Why is it uncomfortable for higher driven women to talk about this struggle? And what could be helpful to know and do in regards to this particular difference? All of these questions are discussed in this episode.  Resources!  Java With Juli Podcast Episode (When You Want Sex, But Your Spouse Doesn't) No More Headaches by Dr. Juli Slattery Shaunti Feldhahn Survey  For Men Only by Shaunti Feldhahn Social Rejection Study  

The times we are living in currently sure are crazy. With uncertain circumstances arising, the thought of working on your marriage can feel impossible while you are just trying to remain sane yourself. On this episode I share how diving into God's word is an awesome solution for both problems. The Bible brings comfort in times that are hard but also inspires you to pursue your love life in the way God has pursued us.  Do you like free things? Take this short survey to help better this podcast and enter yourself for a chance to win a free drink! The drawing will take place on May 10th.  Resources Listed: The Bible Recap The Bible App Social media: Instagram/Facebook

We all notice things in our spouse that are quite different. From small personality quirks to larger issues that can drive a wedge into the marriage relationship.  In this episode, I talk about how personality tests can give you a better understanding of your spouse. One that they may not have been able to completely verbalize to you. I also break down a Biblical understanding of why we as women attempt to control our husbands and the way they do things.   

The female orgasm can seem for some like something elusive, complicated, frustrating, and anything from easy. Media shows a different perception that the very real statistics do not match. In this episode, I talk about the female anatomy and how communication is so important to reaching climax. Later in the episode I talk through the significance of emotional and physical foreplay AND how Song of Songs has a great example of this! Tune in until the very end where I share my personal opinion that orgasm is NOT the end all and be all of sexual oneness in marriage.  Mentioned: Intended for Pleasure Statistics   

The first memory I have of an erect penis was very telling as to who shaped my views on sexuality. In this episode, I give you the inside story of what happened at my 9th grade high school homecoming that left me questioning things. I also share three lies that the purity movement left lingering in my mind even now as an adult.  The three lies that I believed were: 1. I am responsible for a man’s sexual sin 2. God made sex to be enjoyed by the man 3. My sexuality is separate from God This episode also speaks to the true intent of God's creation of our sexuality.  Resources mentioned: Pure by Linda Kay Klein Rethinking Sexuality by Dr. Juli Slattery The Bible- Ephesians 5:21-33

On this episode I pick up from our last episode with Part 2 of Sex and Intimacy.  I share 4 practical tips on how to build intimacy that I have personally used in my own marriage. I draw attention to our need, as wives, to first join GOYA (Getting Over Yourself Anonymous) and lay down the thoughts of our husbands being the ones who need to initiate intimacy first. Pride can get in the way of growth and our marriages are at risk if we wait for our husbands to "change" first.  The 4 practical tips I share are... 1. Pursue Christ. 2. Take interest in his interests. 3. Actively listen to him. 4. Work on the sore spots in your marriage. *disclaimer GOYA is not an actual club, only an international food brand. Early in the episode I also mention 2 books I have enjoyed recently. They are Meaning in the Mess by Julie Barclay and Grace Tailored CHIC by Kelly Baum. Check them out!!  

When you are just having sex without building intimacy in your marriage, it can feel lonely. Join me as I talk through the difference between sex and intimacy, give a biblical perspective of the two, and share how getting over myself led to better sex.  

After reading Nehemiah, I could not help but to see a parallel between his story and the journey of marriage. He noticed something was broken in his homeland, prayed for God's help, and set out a plan to make it better. He faced many trials along the way but in the end was able to build a better wall around the sacred city of Jerusalem.  Marriage is sacred and we often face trials. MANY trials that shake our foundation and threaten to knock down the walls we have built protecting our sacred covenant. Listen in to feel encouraged to fight for relationship and continue to build something better.

Getting caught while having sex with your husband is a less than flattering experience. It can be awkward and embarrassing however it has happened to a few of the Pursuits of Passion listeners. In this episode, I share some of your stories about getting caught in the act.    Social Media: Facebook and Instagram   Valentine's Day Vow Printable

In this episode I talk about the areas in life I have noticed pretending becomes very tempting for us women. In church, on social media, and in the bedroom are three topics of faking it that I focus on. Lastly I share what the Bible has to say about taking off the mask and boasting in our weaknesses.  Quotes: Dr. Juli Slattery from her book Rethinking Sexuality 

A Pursuits of Passion first! Chris, my husband, joins me for the first time on the podcast to play "This or That" and "Ruin Christmas in Four Words." 

Let's not let legalism get in the way of seeing people's hearts around tough topics. Masturbation is today's topic and although the Bible does not explicitly forbid it, views all over the christian spectrum differ on this taboo topic. I share some thoughts on how my perspective as a believer has shifted and some scenarios that could bring light to all opinions out there.  Blog Article Mentioned

Changing things up in the bedroom can be scary. Especially when you don't know how your husband will react to your great new sex position idea! Research shows that participating in self-expansion activities with your spouse (broadening your horizons) can increase your drive and help the relationship. In this episode I reveal a fun website with some position ideas to try and how you could approach your partner about them. Help me spread the word about Pursuits of Passion. Will you write a review?  Websites referenced:  Article Sex Position Website  

I want so badly for all wives to know the power they have as a godly wife to influence their husbands for the good.  This is one of the main reasons I started this podcast. After reading Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas, it has changed the way I view my role as a wife and I share exactly how in this episode. Pride is one of by bigger pitfalls as a sinner and I share the verse I cling to when I need a good biblical reminder of my place and my role.

In today's episode I share the instagram follower's responses to the question, "What is scary about sex?" I also speak about the importance of knowing your menstrual cycle, how it effects your libido, and the best time of month for a woman to have sex. This information not only helps you but also is great for your husband to understand your emotions. Finally, the pursuit of passion this week is a challenge for us to do together. A gratitude for him challenge!

In this episode, I touch on the difficulties of juggling adult life and keeping your priorities in line with the Bible. Attention is often given to what is the loudest around us rather than what is most important. It's so easy to allow the one you love and the relationship you value to go on the back burner. Marriage is a daily choice to grow and work. I also share some advice given to me by some respected ladies in my life on how to practically put this idea in place.  Pastor Dave Gustavsen  

Oral sex is not only an uncomfortable topic to talk about, but honestly it can get uncomfortable to perform AND receive. In this episode, I uncover the true hesitations us wives have behind oral sex, Biblical thoughts, some male anatomy, and a quick "blow jobs 101" run down. I end with some of my own tried and true techniques and some from a few women in their 50's! 

The Bible talks about women needing to respect their husbands but so often we choose to show that through love. Love and respect are different and so how then do you respect your husband? In this episode, I speak through three ways you can show respect by knowing he finds solutions, not voicing how right you are all the time, and truly seeing him for who he is. 

Getting stuck in a rut of routine and comfort is a reality we often face within marriage. In this episode I suggest we spice things up by initiating some flirtatious behavior with, and only with, our husbands. No matter how young or old you are I have 8 great ideas that you can take and use right away in your own life. Referenced in the podcast: - Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs  - Shaunti Feldhahn Survey 

In this week’s episode, I reveal what my “red buttons” are. One of my red buttons sent me to therapy as it was truly causing me to be controlling out of fear. Fears from my past were dictating my present behavior as a wife in a negative way. I talk about learning that my husband was not God and how I was able to surrender the fear I had to God. Well...most of it.

So many factors play into a great intimate life and feeling sexy is one of them. On this episode I share how often I have ACTUALLY felt sexy in my married years. I discuss reasons why us women may not be feeling confident and practical tips I personally have tried to get my sexy back. My hubby plays a role in how I feel as well, and I openly share what I ask of him so we can both fully enjoy our sex lives confidently. 

Learn about ten important facts surrounding sexual anatomy and intimacy that I did not know prior to marriage. In this episode I will talk about the male and female sex organs, orgasms, and the interesting science behind oxytocin. I humbly admit my lack of knowledge leading into the nuptials and how it effected our wedding night "bliss."  Let me know what information from today's episode was helpful for you to learn on my webpage.   

Today I want to share with you how expectations in my marriage were poisoning the relationship. I openly share about my history of ruining birthdays and what I did to turn my attitude around to better receive love from my hubby. Visit me at: https://www.tiffanyhardenberg.com/ Follow me on the Pursuits of Passion Instagram page for updates and inspiration: https://www.instagram.com/pursuits_of_passion/?hl=en Andy Stanley's AWESOME sermon that was the root of today's topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMySsOMzWQY&t=151s   Sex in a christian marriage is not something often discussed. Each episode, Tiffany Hardenberg candidly shares blunt conversation about being a Christ-centered wife and having an intimate life that exudes love. Whether the passion in your marriage is a blazing fire or an extinguished flame this podcast will encourage you to pursue passion.

Everyone knows communication is key to a successful relationship, but why hasn't this same truth been carried over into communicating about sex? Join me as I talk about how important it is to create a comfortability around talking about sexual intimacy with your husband.  Book Mentioned: No More Headaches By Julie Slattery Visit me at Tiffanyhardenberg.com Follow the podcast on Instagram at Pursuits of Passion    

In this episode I discuss what this podcast will be about and why I believe it's so important to talk about these subjects.  I also explain what you can expect when listening and a sneak peek into some upcoming topics. Sex in a christian marriage is not something often discussed. Each episode, Tiffany Hardenberg candidly shares blunt conversation about being a Christ-centered wife and having an intimate life that exudes love. Whether the passion in your marriage is a blazing fire or an extinguished flame this podcast will encourage you to pursue passion.