Podcasts about authentic intimacy

Today on Karl and Crew, we discussed how to understand intimacy and marital sex through the lens of God with Dr. Juli Slattery. Dr. Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, President, and Co-founder of the women’s ministry, Authentic Intimacy. She also hosts a weekly podcast, Java with Juli. Juli also has a video series called “Making Sense of God and Sex.” We also analyzed the role of Noah in Genesis Chapter 6, as a Father, Husband, and Faithful servant to God. Then, we wrapped up with Dr. Charles Stone, who discussed the different kinds of stress and how to deal with them per the Bible. Dr. Stone is a pastor and a coach consultant to pastors and leaders. He has also authored the book “ Stress Less.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on the Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on Karl and Crew, we discussed how to understand intimacy and marital sex through the lens of God with Dr. Juli Slattery. Dr. Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, President, and Co-founder of the women’s ministry, Authentic Intimacy. She also hosts a weekly podcast, Java with Juli. Juli also has a video series called “Making Sense of God and Sex.” We also analyzed the role of Noah in Genesis Chapter 6, as a Father, Husband, and Faithful servant to God. Then, we wrapped up with Dr. Charles Stone, who discussed the different kinds of stress and how to deal with them per the Bible. Dr. Stone is a pastor and a coach consultant to pastors and leaders. He has also authored the book “ Stress Less.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on the Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on Karl and Crew, we discussed how to understand intimacy and marital sex through the lens of God with Dr. Juli Slattery. Dr. Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, President, and Co-founder of the women’s ministry, Authentic Intimacy. She also hosts a weekly podcast, Java with Juli. Juli also has a video series called “Making Sense of God and Sex.” We also analyzed the role of Noah in Genesis Chapter 6, as a Father, Husband, and Faithful servant to God. Then, we wrapped up with Dr. Charles Stone, who discussed the different kinds of stress and how to deal with them per the Bible. Dr. Stone is a pastor and a coach consultant to pastors and leaders. He has also authored the book “ Stress Less.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on the Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on Karl and Crew, we discussed how to understand intimacy and marital sex through the lens of God with Dr. Juli Slattery. Dr. Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, President, and Co-founder of the women’s ministry, Authentic Intimacy. She also hosts a weekly podcast, Java with Juli. Juli also has a video series called “Making Sense of God and Sex.” We also analyzed the role of Noah in Genesis Chapter 6, as a Father, Husband, and Faithful servant to God. Then, we wrapped up with Dr. Charles Stone, who discussed the different kinds of stress and how to deal with them per the Bible. Dr. Stone is a pastor and a coach consultant to pastors and leaders. He has also authored the book “ Stress Less.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on the Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on Karl and Crew, we discussed how to understand intimacy and marital sex through the lens of God with Dr. Juli Slattery. Dr. Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, President, and Co-founder of the women’s ministry, Authentic Intimacy. She also hosts a weekly podcast, Java with Juli. Juli also has a video series called “Making Sense of God and Sex.” We also analyzed the role of Noah in Genesis Chapter 6, as a Father, Husband, and Faithful servant to God. Then, we wrapped up with Dr. Charles Stone, who discussed the different kinds of stress and how to deal with them per the Bible. Dr. Stone is a pastor and a coach consultant to pastors and leaders. He has also authored the book “ Stress Less.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on the Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on Karl and Crew, we discussed how to understand intimacy and marital sex through the lens of God with Dr. Juli Slattery. Dr. Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, President, and Co-founder of the women’s ministry, Authentic Intimacy. She also hosts a weekly podcast, Java with Juli. Juli also has a video series called “Making Sense of God and Sex.” We also analyzed the role of Noah in Genesis Chapter 6, as a Father, Husband, and Faithful servant to God. Then, we wrapped up with Dr. Charles Stone, who discussed the different kinds of stress and how to deal with them per the Bible. Dr. Stone is a pastor and a coach consultant to pastors and leaders. He has also authored the book “ Stress Less.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on the Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on Karl and Crew, we discussed how to understand intimacy and marital sex through the lens of God with Dr. Juli Slattery. Dr. Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, President, and Co-founder of the women’s ministry, Authentic Intimacy. She also hosts a weekly podcast, Java with Juli. Juli also has a video series called “Making Sense of God and Sex.” We also analyzed the role of Noah in Genesis Chapter 6, as a Father, Husband, and Faithful servant to God. Then, we wrapped up with Dr. Charles Stone, who discussed the different kinds of stress and how to deal with them per the Bible. Dr. Stone is a pastor and a coach consultant to pastors and leaders. He has also authored the book “ Stress Less.” You can hear the highlights of today’s program on the Karl and Crew Showcast.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you're a wife who loves God and loves your husband, but you're wondering… Why don't I want sex? Why does my husband want it more than I do? Am I broken for not desiring intimacy? …you're in the right place. We want to remind you that you are not broken. You're not alone. And God isn't disappointed in you. In this conversation, we sit down with the incredible Dr. Juli Slattery—clinical psychologist, author of 14 books, and founder of Authentic Intimacy—to talk about real struggles Christian wives face around intimacy, low desire, and how to walk toward healing with God's help. What Causes Low Sex Drive in Christian Wives? This is one of the most common issues I hear from women: “My husband wants it more. I feel bad. I don't know why I don't want it. Help.” Dr. Slattery shares that many wives don't have a lower drive—just a different kind. Men typically have what's called an initiating drive, while women often have a responsive drive. That means she doesn't feel desire until after closeness begins. That's normal! But sometimes, low desire is more complex. Some deeper causes may include: Past sexual trauma (even from within marriage) Body image issues and insecurity Pain during sex or hormonal changes (like menopause) A lack of emotional safety or unresolved conflict Shame from upbringing or purity culture Misunderstandings about what sex is really for Often, it's not one thing—it's several. That's why this isn't a quick fix. It's a journey of healing and understanding. And most importantly—it's not your fault. What Does God Say About Sex in Marriage? We often assume a great sex life just means “compatibility.” But as Juli beautifully shared: “Great sex isn't about compatibility. It's about growing in unselfish love.” And that's biblical. God designed marriage and sexual intimacy to reflect His covenant love: faithful, intimate, sacrificial, and joy-filled. When we chase after that picture—His heart for sex—it brings healing, safety, and even delight. Here are the 4 pillars of covenant sex that Juli teaches: Faithfulness – Can your spouse trust you emotionally and physically? Intimate Fellowship – Are you open with each other in heart and spirit? Sacrificial Love – Are you serving each other instead of demanding? Passionate Celebration – Is sex a space for joy and rejoicing? “I Want to Want Sex… But I Don't.” What Should I Do? If that's your heart cry, there's hope. Juli and I walked through several gentle, practical steps to help you move forward: 1. Pray—Every Day Invite God into this part of your life. Juli prayed for months before even telling her husband. God cares. He will meet you here. 2. Start with What You Do Want Maybe you don't want intercourse—but you'd like to cuddle. Or feel safe naked. Or be able to enjoy touch again. That's a great start. 3. Change the Inner Narrative Rather than thinking, “I have to,” begin gently rehearsing, “I want to enjoy closeness. I want to connect with the man I love.” 4. Use Physical Support Tools like organic lubricants, non-intercourse intimacy, or vibrators (with agreement) can be helpful. Give yourself permission to explore. 5. Communicate with Your Husband If he's safe, loving, and kind—invite him into this healing journey with you. Let him support your heart, not just seek pleasure. But Isn't It Selfish to Focus So Much on Sex? That's a valid concern—especially for Christians. But here's what Juli shared that really struck me: “God designed sex to bless both husband and wife. This isn't just about serving him—it's about your healing, too.” Sex is not just physical. It's emotional. Spiritual. It touches the most tender parts of our story. If you're avoiding it completely, it might be time to gently ask: What wounds need healing? What lies am I believing? This is not about becoming a sex expert—it's about becoming whole. A Christian Wife's Invitation to Intimacy Whether you've been married 3 years or 30, God's not done with this part of your journey. Even if sex has been painful, shame-filled, or complicated… He can redeem it. Even if you feel distant, numb, or uninterested… He can awaken new joy. You're not “less than.” You're not “too late.” You're not “too much.” You're beloved. And intimacy can become a gift again. Resources to Help You Begin If today's blog stirred something in you, we'd like to encourage you to take one step forward. God meets us there. Listen in: Full Episode with Juli Slattery available here and on your favorite podcast streaming service Explore: Juli's Ministry – Authentic Intimacy New Book (July 1): Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes Everything For more information on our Coaching Programs: DelightYourMarriage.com Final Thoughts You're not alone. God is in this with you. Let Him lead. And let Him love you in this part of your story.   With love, The DYM Team   PS - If you haven't checked out Dr. Juli's book yet, you can check it out here: God, Sex & Your Marriage  PPS - For more information on our Coaching Programs, please visit our website. We would love to connect with you!

This week on the Momentum Ministry Partners Podcast, Eric is joined by Ian Shire of Authentic Intimacy. Ian is the Leader Program Manager and is on the front lines of serving our leader community. He has a passion for encouraging men and women toward Christlike sexual integrity. Ian joined the ministry of Authentic Intimacy in 2023 with the role of training and supporting pastors and leaders to engage their ministries with a biblical approach to sexuality. Listen as Eric and Ian have a powerful conversation on navigating sexuality within a ministry context in today's world. Discover more on their website here: www.authenticintimacy.com/leader/ Check out www.buildmomentum.org to learn more about our organization and how we seek to partner with local churches in order to equip today's young Christian leaders for tomorrow's opportunities. Follow Momentum Ministry Partners on: Instagram: @MomentumMinistryPartners Facebook:  @MomentumMinistryPartners YouTube: @MomentumMinistryPartners Subscribe and be sure to leave us your rating & review!

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle & Scott talk with Dr. Juli Slattery from Authentic Intimacy about how past sexual abuse impacts individuals and their marriages. With biblical truth, personal insight, and expert care, Dr. Slattery shares how healing can happen in safe relationships marked by trust, patience, and grace. We hope this episode provides hope and healing for those affected by sexual abuse. Scriptures Referenced (in context):Rom 12:15John 10:10PS 34:18Rom 8:28 Resources:Juli's Ministry – Authentic IntimacyJuli's Podcast – Java with JuliBooks: Surprised by the Healer, by Linda Dillow and Juli Slattery; God, Sex, and Your Marriage, by Juli Slattery Questions to Discuss:1. What stood out to you most from this conversation with Dr. Juli Slattery?2. What does it look like to be a “safe place” for your spouse?3. How can we invite—not demand—intimacy in our marriage?4. Are there past wounds (sexual or otherwise) we need to process personally or as a couple?5. Who are safe people or resources we could pursue if we need help?

Sadly, wrestling with pornography addiction is increasingly commonplace. But how do people find pornography? And why do they keep going back to it? In the final of this series revisiting Reclaim, Troy and Melissa Haas of HopeQuest, share their testimony and expertise around pornography addiction, and what it takes to overcome it.   Guests: Troy and Melissa Haas   Troy and Melissa's Website: hopequestgroup.org/ Troy and Melissa's Instagram: @hopequestgroup   Partner financially with Authentic Intimacy!   Resource: #549 What the Latest Research Shows About Porn Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Send us a textWomen struggle with porn too.Have you ever experienced the fear and shame that follows the vortex of graphic movies, erotica, promiscuity, or porn sites? You may think you're alone and feel like hiding. But you're not alone—and there is hope and healing.We are all sexually broken. And we are all invited to participate in the love, forgiveness, and healing of Jesus. The great joy and passion of Dr. Joy Skarka is calling women to God's gracious power of redemption. Today we're chatting about her new book, Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy. For more on God's design for sex and purity check out, Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart: Discovering the Beauty and Freedom of God-Defined SexualitySupport the showJOIN US ON PATREON FOLLOW US:GirlDefined.comInstagram YouTube

Navigating the teenage years has never been easy, whether you're the parent or the child. So as parents, how can you help your teenager or pre-teen have a better experience? What practically can you do to put them in a stronger position to navigate their teenage years safely, with more clarity about God's love for them and design for their sexuality? Three guests – James Talbert, Josh Miller, and Chelsey Nutgren – join Juli to share some much-needed practical advice for raising surrendered kids in our current cultural moment.   Guests: James Talbert, Josh Miller, Chelsey Nutgren   James' Website: Citizens Akron Josh's Website: Riverwood Chapel Akron   Website: AXIS.org Website: Center for Humane Technology   Resource Series: Blog: Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Why, When, and How Blog: 5 Reasons You're Not Talking to Your Kids About Sex (and How to Overcome Them) Blog: Sexual Integrity: The Heart of Sexually Discipling Your Kids   Find out more about donating to Authentic Intimacy.   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Special Patreon Re-Release: God, Sex, and Your Marriage: Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery    *DISCLAIMER* This interview includes some adult themes and is not intended for young ears.   **Transcription Below**   Matthew 9:37 (NIV) "Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few."   Questions we discuss: For many couples, sex can be a difficult area of marriage and you encourage people that is normal, but you also warn us not to confuse normal with healthy. What is normal for married couples and what is healthy, as it relates to sexual intimacy in marriage? What is God's genius chemical cocktail that we experience during sex? Will you give a brief overview of your four pillars of intimacy?   Dr. Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker and broadcast media professional with over twenty-five years of experience counseling, and teaching women. She's the president and co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, a unique ministry devoted to teaching God's design for intimacy and sexuality. In 2020, Juli launched SexualDiscipleship.com, a platform designed to help Christian leaders navigate sexual issues and questions with gospel-centered truth. She hosts a weekly podcast, Java with Juli, where she answers tough questions about relationships, marriage, and spiritual, emotional and sexual intimacy.  www.authenticintimacy.com    Other Episodes with Dr. Juli Slattery on The Savvy Sauce:   Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery   Patreon 26 Holy Sex with Dr. Juli Slattery   Life-Giving Marriage with Dr. Juli Slattery   Thank You to Our Sponsors: Chick-fil-A East Peoria and The Savvy Sauce Charities (and donate online here)   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   **Transcription**   [00:00:00]   Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.    [00:00:18]   Laura Dugger: Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   I'm grateful for today's sponsor, Chick-fil-A East Peoria. Check them out online to place your order for dining or catering, or to fill out an application to join their friendly team. Visit cfaeastpeoria.com.   Hey friends, I wanted to share some exciting news with you. Savvy Sauce Charities has officially received our confirmation from the IRS that all donations are tax deductible. I know that we have super generous listeners, so we wanted to let you know you can now mail your check to Savvy Sauce Charities, P.O. Box 101, Roanoke, Illinois, 61561. Thanks in advance for supporting Savvy Sauce Charities. [00:01:24]    And now I'm pleased to share this episode with you that used to only be available to paying patrons. Dr. Juli Slattery is my returning guest today. She has written another fantastic book entitled God, Sex, and Your Marriage. And now she's going to give us a healthy vision for sexual intimacy in marriage and share actionable ways that we can grow in maturity and delight and health in our relationship with our spouse.    Here's our chat.   Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Dr. Juli.   Dr Juli Slattery: Oh, thanks so much for having me.   Laura Dugger: Well, even from the get-go on the dedication page of your book, you dedicate it to your brothers and sisters in Christ, some who have labored before you, and some who now work alongside you in reclaiming God's design for sex. You quote the last part of Matthew 9:37, when you say, "The field is ripe for the harvest, but the laborers are few." [00:02:28] Will you elaborate on what you mean by this?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. I think within the field of Christian sexuality, there are things that we can disagree on. Some of those conversations can be characterized by looking back at what people have written before and being critical of that or looking at the ways that we disagree today on different topics and how we apply the scriptures.    So as I was wrapping up this book, I just have such a heart for unity in the body of Christ and recognize that there are so few people that really want to see God reclaim biblical sexuality, that I just want us to link arms and to work together, to learn from each other, to give honor to each other, and just to be in the trenches, like encouraging one another, instead of focusing on maybe where we differ. [00:03:25]    So that's kind of the heart of it, as well as just a gratitude for the people that have gone before us, the people that were speaking and writing on this topic over the last few decades. Again, I think we're looking back and saying purity culture was horrible and, you know, like just be with more of a critical eye, which we need to learn from the past. But I think, you know, I just really want to have a spirit of graciousness and unity as we say, Hey, we're kind of working off of the shoulders of the people who have been really pioneers in this field.   Laura Dugger: I think that goal of unity is such a worthy one. For so many couples, sex can be a difficult area of marriage. And you write that this is very normal, but you also warn us not to confuse normal with healthy. You go on to write, and I'll just quote it here, "Just consider that the normal American is overweight, overstimulated, exhausted, and lonely." [00:04:29] So, Juli, from your perspective, what is normal for married couples and what is healthy as it relates to sexual intimacy in marriage?   Dr. Juli Slattery: I would say normal is a lot of conflict around sex, frustration, unfulfilled desires, lack of communication. They don't know how to talk about sex or navigate conflict around just differences. I think it's normal for there to be some level of pornography in a marriage. One or both of the individuals bringing in a history of pornography and a struggle with pornography. I think it's normal to have a lot of confusion and shame just around being a sexual person.    So those are all sort of the normal barometer of what I see as I talk to married Christian couples. Again, I think there's peace in knowing, okay, we have good company around us. We're not the only couple struggling with these things, but I also don't want that to be a message that things should just stay the way they are. [00:05:35]    Laura Dugger: I love that. Can you elaborate then on what is healthy?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. So healthy is sort of the opposite of what I've mentioned. Healthy is that there's healthy, regular communication around sex. So a couple can talk about not just how often they want to have sex, but the deeper issues of what does sex represent for me as an individual? What does it represent for us as a couple? Being able to talk through things from the past, past wounds and shame, and being able to seek the Lord together. It's healthy to honor each other in their sexual relationship, honor the differences that they might be bringing of sexual desire and what they're hoping for in their sexual relationship, navigating together the challenges that they face, but navigating as a team.   So the challenges of we have no energy because we're exhausted with little kids or the challenges of one of us might be working through some trauma from the past, the challenges of how do we address the pornography in our marriage and how do we learn to enjoy each other within our own covenant? [00:06:46]    So those are kind of the markers of a healthy sex life. I don't think there are many couples who would just say automatically, we were there when we first got married. But unfortunately, I think there are also not a lot of couples who would say we're actually working towards those goals. Instead, we have a tendency to just kind of stay stuck where we are.   Laura Dugger: I think an obvious answer would be that communication is going to help us move in that direction of health. But if this healthy vision sounds wonderful, how do people actually engage in this? What are a few of the first steps they can take?   Dr. Juli Slattery: I think one of the first steps is just really broadening your horizon of what God created sex to be. And really, it's taking a step back and asking yourself the question, what do you think a good sex life is actually supposed to look like from a Christian standpoint? [00:07:45]    I think it's fascinating for couples to have that conversation and, first of all, to see where they differ in their understanding of what a good sex life is meant to be, but also where they struggle to flesh it out because there just hasn't been a lot of great teaching on, how do we as a couple even have the same goals related to our sex life.   That was the main reason why I wrote God, Sex, and Your Marriage was to give Christian married couples a vision for what God created sex to be and to have them together agree on, here's what our mature sex life is meant to look like and we want to start working toward that. But if you don't know what you're working toward, then you're just going to stay stuck.   Laura Dugger: I appreciate resources like this. If anybody's listened to any of our other topics on sexual intimacy on The Savvy Sauce, you know that we recommend reading a book, ideally with each other. But even if it's just you reading it yourself, there's so much to glean. [00:08:49] And like you said, Juli, you're casting this vision.   But then even as you read this aloud to one another or you each read a chapter and then come together and discuss, it gets you comfortable talking about this language and it brings up even more questions like you just mentioned that can be natural conversation starters.   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah, that's a great suggestion for every married couple, including myself and my husband. I guess something that we've tried to do throughout our marriage is to be reading a book on sex together, preferably, as you mentioned, out loud, because it really does get you comfortable in terms of just what language to use and what it's like to have a conversation around sex.   Laura Dugger: Absolutely. So just really, I've thought this so many times, but thank you for the labor and the work you put into putting this resource together so that we have an option that we can trust.    Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah, well, I think we tend to write the books that we would want to read. So, yeah, a lot of it has just come out of our own journey. [00:09:49]    Laura Dugger: Well, and I agree with another point that you make in the book when you talk about sex being so important to God and so we can expect it to constantly be under spiritual attack. So will you just tell us more about that idea?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. I think the average Christian, as you look at the cultural landscape, there's no question that sex is under attack and that we see it distorted and we see it being such a confusing topic for our kids, for just our culture. We can recognize that and we can look at different ways that sex is being used against us in our world today, but we're less likely to see how that's happening within our own marriages.   But I think just being aware of the fact that Satan hates everything God made as beautiful, and sex is such a powerful picture of God's covenant love, of the fact that he created us for intimate unity. That Satan really wants to twist that. And he'll do it any way he can. [00:10:56] He'll do it through shame. He'll do it through us even having a very limited perspective of what sex should be. He'll do it through dividing you and having sex be the main source of conflict in your marriage. He'll do it through pornography and marital affairs and betrayal.    I think we have to be on the lookout and say, hey, this really is a spiritual terrain, not just in the world at large, but it's a spiritual terrain within my own heart and within our marriage.   Laura Dugger: But then you don't leave us there with that message of attack because in that same chapter you conclude with this quote: "God's power to redeem is greater than Satan's power to destroy." So, Juli, how have you seen that practically played out in couples' lives?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Boy, I've just been so blessed to see that played out over and over again. In the ministry that I run, Authentic Intimacy, we've been doing this for a decade now. [00:11:56] I can't explain it, but all I can tell you is that when an individual or a couple begins to really get God's perspective of sexuality, when they alone or together begin to surrender this area of their life to God, you just see change, you see healing, you see redemption, you see freedom where there once was shame and lies.   It's commonplace in our ministry to see that, which is amazing because every life that's redeemed really is a work of God. But the scripture says that His word doesn't return void, but it accomplishes what it's sent out to do. And I get to see that. I get to see that as couples are healing and recovering from betrayal, as people are looking to get set free from pornography, as people are trying to navigate the impact of past trauma and what that's done to their sex life, as couples are confronting some of the anger or bitterness or selfishness that have developed over the years because of their differences and sexual desire. [00:13:03] I've just gotten to see all those sort of things redeemed by God's power, and sex starts to become something that really does unify a husband and wife together.   Laura Dugger: Well, that makes so much sense because I've been convicted so many times and had to be reminded when God will gently call me back to Himself where I've shared a struggle with my husband, or if I'm questioning something in parenting and I'm just thinking on it and ruminating on it, God will gently remind me, come to Me with this, share with Me. And in the same way, with the topic of sex, you're encouraging us in this book to invite God to fight for us, and it's really His strength and power that can heal us in this sacred space.   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. It makes so much sense, Laura. But in reality, I think most of us kind of bar God from our sex lives. We don't realize we do it, but we never praise a married couple about our sex lives.[00:14:07] We never invite God into our shame. We never even think or want to think about the fact that He's present with us in the bedroom because that sort of creeps us out.    But if you're trying to fight a spiritual battle with your own strength and you're barring God's presence from that place, then you're not going to win it. I had to confront this in my own life in marriage many years ago. I didn't realize how much I was doing that, but I think because the church has been so silent on sex over the years, we just naturally have this sort of separate category of sexuality where God doesn't enter. So, boy, what a powerful thing to begin surrendering this to the Lord and asking for His wisdom and His help.   Laura Dugger: Powerful indeed. I remember one wife shared with me they don't pray together about sex out loud, but she has prayed before, even when they're in the act, and just shared real-time, Okay, Lord, I'm having a really hard time experiencing orgasm, and I would love to experience that today, so can you help me get there?" [00:15:16] And she said the results have been incredible. And I just think He cares so much about every detail of our lives that I love that story and what she shared because I think it shows His heart that He wants to share delight with us, and He's created this.   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah, it brings God honor and pleasure when a married couple enjoys sex to the fullest because that's what He created it for. I think somehow we've bought this lie that God's embarrassed of our sexuality or it's a necessary evil, instead of it being something that we clearly see in the Song of Solomon and Proverbs chapter 5 and other places in Scripture that God delights in this. He created sex for this purpose.   And part of fighting the spiritual battle that we face in our world is reclaiming the ground of what sex looks like in our marriage. And so there are a lot of people who are frustrated at what's happening to their kids or what's happening to our culture, but at the same time they don't fight for godly sexuality within the space of their own bedroom. [00:16:22] And that really is where the battle begins, is in our own hearts and our own lives.   Laura Dugger: Well, let's now discuss the four pillars of intimacy, and hopefully you can just give a brief overview of each. Beginning with faithfulness and specifically, why do you write that holy jealousy is good?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. If I can back up just for a minute, the whole premise of this book is that God created sex within marriage to be a form of revelation. Like through marriage and sexuality, the Scripture says God is revealing to us what his covenant love is like. And we see that in the Old Testament in God's covenant relationship with Israel and how often He used language of marriage and sexuality as a metaphor to explain His love for Israel.    Then in the New Testament we see the same thing happen with Jesus' relationship with the church. We see all this bridal language, intimacy language, sexual language to express what covenant looks like between Christ and His bride. [00:17:35] And I know for a lot of people that's sort of a mind shift, but if you can think about it this way, God creates the physical world in order to reveal Himself to us. So God has created marriage and sexuality as a form of revelation to reveal for us this special relationship of covenant.   So what I did with these four pillars of covenant love is say, OK, if God's love, if His covenant love is like this, then this is what defines a healthy sex life. So I broke down these four aspects of God's love for His covenant people and then applied it to sexuality.    So the first pillar that I talk about there is faithfulness. That faithfulness is the very foundation of any covenant. That a covenant isn't a relationship that's based on what feels good or what I feel like doing in the moment. It's a relationship based on your character, on your promise.    Part of that is that within covenant you have a sacred sense of belonging to each other. And so there is a holy jealousy within covenant. [00:18:43] And we see this in God's relationship with Israel where God actually says, My name is jealous. I am jealous for you. I'm a jealous God. And when you worship other gods, I'm angry.    That seems to be true within the covenant of marriage, that sexually we belong to each other exclusively, and there should be a healthy anger, protectiveness, and even jealousy if that exclusivity isn't honored. So, Laura, for example, I was talking to a woman who her marriage was in bad shape. There had been conflict over many years, there had been pornography addiction, and her husband cheated on her. And she said, "I was so dead that I wasn't even angry. My love for him was so dead that I didn't even get mad." [00:19:43] You'd be like, "Why would she not get mad? Is that a sign of health to not get mad when your husband cheats?" No. That's a sign of a very dysfunctional relationship, of a covenant that's dead.    So a healthy marriage means that we fight for each other and we protect our sexual relationship and that if there is a violation, then there is reason to be upset,there is reason to be angry. I think this is so key that we talk about you really can't build anything else in your sex life if you don't have faithfulness. That's the bare minimum foundation.   Laura Dugger: And now a brief message from our sponsors.    [00:20:25]   Sponsor: I want to say thank you to our longtime sponsor, Chick-fil-A East Peoria. I hope that you've already downloaded the Chick-fil-A app. Because did you know that with the app you can skip the line and have food ready for you when you arrive? This is one of my favorite options when I'm taking my four daughters to Chick-fil-A East Peoria. Download the Chick-fil-A app today and start earning points toward free rewards that are fully customized to your preferences and tastes.   Chick-fil-A was named as one of Glassdoor's best places to work in the nation. That's a huge honor. And one team member even wrote, "No comparison. This is a great job for a first job, extra money, or for career advancement. Such a loving environment, great management, and fair pay." Chick-fil-A believes that the local and involved ownership ensures fostering an environment where you are known, challenged, and cared for.   So if you're looking for a wonderful place to work, visit Chick-fil-A East Peoria or fill out an application online today at cfaeastpeoria.com.    [00:21:31]   Laura Dugger: We are so excited to celebrate with you that The Savvy Sauce Charities received our IRS confirmation that all donations are officially tax deductible. We hope that you're going to take action to partner with us.   There are details laid out on our website, which is thesavvysauce.com, and they're going to walk you through the process to donate, and it's also going to share our tax ID number. The donation process is as easy as just filling out a check for Savvy Sauce Charities and mailing it to P.O. Box 101, Roanoke, Illinois, 61561.    If we've contributed to your life in any way by resourcing you to grow closer in intimacy with God and others, would you now contribute to us financially? In this way, we are so excited to partner together and hopefully meet each other's needs. Our team wants to continue producing these podcasts, and we're expectant that if you're listening right now, you value The Savvy Sauce Charities enough to make a donation.    We view this work as ministry, so we happily spend thousands of dollars each year to record and produce these episodes. And our ultimate prayer is that your experience with Savvy Sauce Charities will make an impact for eternity. So if that is true for you, if you've ever received a blessing in any way from this nonprofit, would you prayerfully consider donating to Savvy Sauce Charities? Any amount is greatly appreciated.   And in fact, you've heard me say before, if every listener gave only $1 per month, it would completely offset all our costs. Again, we have all the details listed on our website, thesavvysauce.com, if you are interested in making a donation. We look forward to partnering with you.   [00:23:32]   Laura Dugger: Can you elaborate about the chemical cocktail and why God is so genius in this creation?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah, sure. You know, I think one of the reasons that we really struggle with faithfulness is because we believe at a heart level that marriage is more about attractiveness and getting our sexual needs met than believing that marriage is about covenant. And one of the ways that I explain that is just to show, you know, God has designed new sex and a new relationship to elicit different kinds of chemicals in our brain than a long-term relationship and long-term sexual interaction.   So the new relationship is going to have adrenaline and a neurotransmitter called PEA. And together, adrenaline and PEA make you feel like there's this huge output of dopamine, which is the pleasure hormone of the brain. [00:24:34] And so it makes you feel intoxicated. It makes you feel like you're on a drug.    This is why pornography is so addictive. But God has given that cocktail in the beginning of a relationship, in the beginning of seeing each other naked for the first time, so that it would be a cementing kind of experience for a husband and wife. Unfortunately, our world has really hijacked that with pornography and other sexual offerings. But God's design is that you shouldn't be able to forget your honeymoon. Like it should be like a cementing experience for you.   But then as you're married for a while and you have sex regularly, you don't get that same adrenaline and PEA unless you're doing something kind of fun or new or exciting. But in general, you'll get just kind of output of oxytocin, which is a bonding hormone. It connects you to your spouse. And you also get endorphins, which is sort of a feel-good, all-is-well-with-the-world kind of neurotransmitter. [00:25:39]    And so God has designed a married sex life to have elements of both of these, of new and exciting things, say, for example, on your anniversary or you go away for a vacation and you're really focusing on your sex life, but also to have these bonding and feel-good chemicals to take place just in the normal course of life.    But, Laura, what happens is we get addicted to that new and exciting, and so we kind of begin to neglect the sexual relationship and instead are tempted by what's going to make us immediately feel good in the moment. So that's kind of just understanding how God wired our sexuality and, again, why He's a genius, but also understanding how, if we're not wise, that wiring can be worked against us.   Laura Dugger: That's so helpful to be wise in all of that. Just the incredible amounts that He gives us. You had cited another source that says men can have their oxytocin levels raised more than 500% after orgasm. [00:26:49] That may be why they're able to open up more emotionally after they've connected sexually. You also talk about the bonding agent of vasopressin. Would you like to share anything about that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. So the two hormones, oxytocin and vasopressin, kind of go together. Vasopressin is kind of more, from what I understand, like the male form of oxytocin. But these hormones have been shown, as you mentioned, to bond people together, to make a man feel more connected and more likely to be vulnerable.    And interestingly, there's even some studies that show that a man whose body is rich with this oxytocin and vasopressin is less likely to be attracted to another woman. So some people will call it the fidelity hormone.   But when you begin to understand this as a wife, that regular sex with my husband is helping him feel emotionally closer to me, is fostering vulnerability and connection, is helping him to focus on me and me to focus on him, it helps with temptation that comes from the outside. [00:28:02]    And that's not at all to put pressure on a wife to say it's your job to keep your husband faithful. But it is to recognize that God has created sex to be a very powerful experience that is meant to bond you together. And you want to use that for the advantage of your marriage instead of allowing the enemy to use it as something that could tear you apart.   Laura Dugger: That's so good. There's so much there in that first pillar of faithfulness. But for the second pillar of intimate knowing, what separates that intimate knowing from what you call a sanctified hookup?   Dr. Juli Slattery: I think, again, we have to go back to God's covenant love to understand what we're working towards. And if you have been in a covenant relationship with God through Jesus Christ for any amount of time, hopefully you've learned that one of the goals of your relationship with God is to know Him more intimately, to say, Hey, I know God and Jesus more intimately today than I did five years ago. [00:29:07] And through the struggles of life, through the highs and the lows, I've developed intimacy with the Lord.   Jesus talks about this when he talks about, you know, being so intimately connected to Him, it's like a vine in a branch. Like we're in communion all the time. So when we apply that to our sexual relationship, the goal of sex is not just to have our bodies exchange fluids, but it's to be on a journey together of deep knowing of sharing with each other.   Just like in our relationship with God, the valleys, the difficulties, actually are when intimacy can be forged even greater than when things are going well. And I think this is really important because for most married couples, they're going to experience some real challenges in their sex life.   Dr. Juli Slattery: challenges in their sex life and instead of just saying, well, we can't enjoy each other or we have different desires, looking at that as an opportunity of, how do I know my spouse more intimately because of the challenge that we're experiencing? [00:30:12]    When I work with couples who are going through difficulties like infertility or somebody's struggle with pornography or somebody's struggle with healing, what those couples will say is now we're beginning to talk at a deeper level than do you want to have sex or not. Now, we're talking about my shame underneath my sexuality or my frustration that I walked into marriage with these expectations and now I feel like they're not being met. So you're beginning to communicate about your heart, you're beginning to share the sexual journey.   Unfortunately I think there are a lot of married couples who don't see this. All they think of is sex. It's just what our bodies are doing instead of really looking at it as an opportunity to forge intimacy at a much deeper level.   Laura Dugger: The third pillar is sacrificial giving. I'd love for you to share your personal story about God calling you to sacrificial giving. [00:31:15]    Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. One of the things that I've shared in my own life is that I'd say for the first 10 or 15 years of marriage, sex was one of those things that I wasn't very interested in, my husband was more interested in and particularly when we had three little boys running around the house, you know, I really avoided sex. I really didn't want to engage with it. I would always look for sort of the opportunity in the evening to say, “Hey, I need to do my devotions. This is my time.”    I remember going through that period of marriage where I would spend time with God usually in the evening and there would be times where it was like the Lord was really asking me, like if you really want to love Me and serve Me, why haven't you surrendered this area of your life to me?   And He began to just really prompt me to look at what it is to say, how do I love my husband sexually? How do I look at the conflict that I have within my own heart around sexuality and really begin to ask the Lord to heal that and to help me to enjoy what He has given me in marriage? [00:32:27] But during that season it was a lot of, how do I lay aside my own agenda and really understand my husband's sexual drive? How do I understand what would please him?    And Laura I just think a lot of us go into marriage and we think the sexual aspect of marriage will be something that won't require anything from us, that we just get to get, we get to receive. And for sure God has designed us to receive sexually, but He's also designed us so that we have to give sexually.   Why would he do that? Like people are like, why is God so cruel to make sex so difficult to navigate? But what God began to show me is He wants me to learn to love as Christ loves. Christ's love for us has always been sacrificial. And our love for Him in covenant is called to be sacrificial. We're called to lay down our own lives and take up the cross and follow Him. [00:33:30]    So I think there's something beautiful when we begin to understand that part of a healthy sex life is both the husband and wife approaching this with the attitude of, how do I serve you? How do I love you well? And when a husband and wife both have that attitude, the level of intimacy and even the level of pleasure has such a greater capacity than when we approach sexuality with just the mindset of what can I get from it.   Laura Dugger: Will you go even a little bit more specific with one of those quiet times with the Lord? What were you praying about? And what did he lead you to do?   Dr. Juli Slattery: So I was praying, you know, Lord, I just really want to know how to love You more and serve You. Like it was a time in my life where the Lord really was calling me deeper. What I just felt the Lord prompting me to do is to initiate sex with my husband.    I remember just kind of arguing with God in that moment, like, this is my time with You. You know, I think sometimes when we spend time with the Lord and we're studying the scripture, He wants us to actually put the Bible down and walk out what He's called us to do in his scripture. [00:34:45] And it was during that season of life again where God was just prompting me.   That night, that evening was the first time just prompting me like, hey, if you want to love Me more, if you want to know what My love is like, then go up and engage with your husband, because he's the one I've given you to love and he's the one I've given to love you. That really started us on a journey that didn't happen immediately, but over years of really surrendering this to God, we've learned what it is to serve each other and love each other well sexually.   Laura Dugger: And I'll just paraphrase from page 108 when that evening you sheepishly shared with your husband, when you came up and kind of surprised him and just said, "I was praying and it was like, God told me to come up here and initiate sex with you." And I love his response. He said, "No way! I was praying, asking God to tell you to do that." [00:35:44]    Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah, that's a true story. That really happened. So yeah, it's amazing how God works.   Laura Dugger: I love that so much. I want to make sure that you're up to date with our latest news. We have a new website. You can visit TheSavvySauce.com and see all of the latest updates. You may remember Francie Hinrichsen from Episode 132, where we talked about pursuing our God-given dreams. She is the amazing businesswoman who has carefully designed a brand new website for SavvySauce Charities, and we are thrilled with the final product.So I hope you check it out.    There you're going to find all of our podcasts, now with show notes and transcriptions listed, a scrapbook of various previous guests, and an easy place to join our email list to receive monthly encouragement and questions to ask your loved ones, so that you can have your own practical chats for intentional living. [00:36:45]    You will also be able to access our donation button or our mailing address for sending checks that are tax deductible, so that you can support the work of SavvySauce Charities and help us continue to reach the nations with the good news of Jesus Christ. So make sure you visit TheSavvySauce.com.    I just appreciate those personal stories, even how when you were meeting with the Lord, having your quiet time, how He called you to go and seek your husband. There's a part of Matthew 5:23-24, that illustrates this as well. It just says, "Therefore, if you're offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them. Then come and offer your gift."   I just appreciate how the Lord even values that horizontal relationship first and the restoration there, and then you come back and reconnect vertically as well. [00:37:49]    Dr. Juli Slattery: Boy, it's true. Like that's the living out of our love for a God, for sure. There's also scripture that talks about like, if you say that you love Me, but you're not loving your brother, then your love for me isn't genuine. So I'm paraphrasing there. But you know, the scripture that I think has really gotten me over the years that I don't think many people apply to sexuality, is when Jesus is teaching at the Sermon on the Mount, and He says, even pagans know how to be kind to those who are kind to them. Like even pagans know how to greet those who greet them. But I say to you, love your enemies and do good to those who persecute you.    Not that my husband is my enemy, or was persecuting me, but the attitude of even a pagan wife knows how to love her husband well, when he's doing everything she wants, when he's attractive to her, when he's bringing her flowers, when he's attentive. But it requires the supernatural love of God for us to reach inside of ourselves and love in a way that is sacrificial. [00:39:01]    God wants us to become great lovers. He wants us to learn to love like He loves. And that's not a natural love that the average husband or wife can accomplish on their own strength. It's something that comes through intimacy with God and through saying, Lord, I want to become more like you in every area of my life. And again, our sexual relationship is not excluded from that. It perhaps can be the most challenging and vulnerable aspect of showing us how to love like God loves us.   Laura Dugger: Just one more thing to draw out of your chapter. I appreciated your balance between encouraging us to ask ourselves, are we being a cheerful giver? Then you also quote our mutual friend, Michael Sytsma, who is a pastor and also a certified sex therapist and author and speaker, that he says, the Bible does talk about fasting, but speaks far more about the feasting. [00:40:06]    Dr. Juli Slattery: Dr. Sytsma is just a wealth of wisdom on this topic. I've learned a lot from him. And that really sort of ushers in that fourth pillar of covenant love. So we've covered faithfulness, intimate knowing, sacrificial giving, but the fourth pillar is passionate celebration.    God has designed sex to be a passionate celebration of our covenant with each other. It is the way in our bodies that we remember, and we rejoice together that we've covenanted our lives to one another. God created sex to be pleasurable. He created the climax, He created the dopamine centers in our brain that go off with great delight when we experience sex with each other.    This is an important pillar. If you're looking at your sex life, and you say, okay, we're faithful to each other, and we're building intimate knowing, and I have a servant attitude, but I experienced no pleasure, then something's wrong with your sex life. [00:41:10] That's something that you need to work toward as an individual and as a married couple. There are a lot of Christian women who would identify with that, who would say, yeah, I do this primarily for my husband. I don't really love it. I don't really know how to enjoy it.    I would say to that woman that that's not the fullness of what God has designed for your sex life to look like in a marriage. He may be challenging you as he's challenged me over the years to really work on what does it look like for me to enjoy this gift, not just to be a giver of it, but also to be a receiver of it.   Laura Dugger: If anybody has their book, I'm thinking specifically, there is this part on page 133, where you draw out some fascinating discoveries about passionate celebration even in our relationship with the Lord, what that looks like, but how that transfers to the marriage as well. [00:42:10] Just things that we wouldn't think of: prayer and singing releasing certain bonding hormones.   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah. Yeah. So when you think about like our gatherings as a church body on Sundays or whenever you gather, what you're doing is you're gathering as part of the Bride of Christ. Usually we think of our Sunday services about the message. Yeah, the message is an important part, but it's not the most important part of our gathering. Our gathering is to express our love to our Savior and to our husband, to our heavenly Father, to all of it. We're rejoicing in Him. We're worshiping him as a collective group.    And what the research has shown is that when people gather together and they sing together out loud and when they dance, the same kind of chemicals are released in their brain as are released during sex. So they're getting the dopamine, they're getting the endorphins, they're getting the oxytocin. [00:43:15]    So when God's people get together and sing together and worship the Lord together, they're actually getting that same bonding hormone that unites you as the family of God, as a husband and wife would get together as they celebrate their covenant. So it's been really cool for me to study and to see these parallels of what God designed His relationship with us to be like, and then also what He designed marriage to be like. And to see that in many ways, even our bodily and neurological response will mirror each other.   Laura Dugger: It's just incredible to learn more about those relationships. Juli, as we seek to apply this conversation now to our own lives, what's an example of a possible next step forward?   Dr. Juli Slattery: Yeah, I think, Laura, a lot of us as married Christians, we think about biblical sexuality in terms of morality. In other words, let's keep the rules, let's obey God. And as we talked about in the faithfulness pillar, that certainly is a very critical part of how we honor God and each other within our sexual relationship. [00:44:30]    But the other pillars are all about maturity. I think you can be married for 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, 30 years or more as a married couple and never considered, what does it look like for us to mature in our sexual love? How can we say five years from now that we love each other more deeply sexually than we than we do right now? What do we need to work on? Which of these four pillars requires our immediate attention?    The book God, Sex, and Your Marriage can be helpful. We also are releasing a video curriculum and workbook for couples to go through this material that can be really helpful that you could do as couples or do in a small group. But things don't change unless we become intentional about changing them.    And so, you know, I think for all of us, we need that challenge to not just settle for the way things are, but to really ask the Lord to begin redeeming sex within our marriage, again, as part of that larger spiritual battle of reclaiming God's design for sex within our world. [00:45:42]    Laura Dugger: If part of this plan of ours for intentionality includes learning more from you, where can we go to do that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: You can find everything that we do at AuthenticIntimacy.com. So there's a podcast, blog, this book and other books and workbooks and small group opportunities. So you can find all of that at our website, Authentic Intimacy dot com.   Laura Dugger: Wonderful. We will link to that, as always, in the show notes for today's episode. Juli, you have been on multiple times, so you know we are called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so is my final question for you today. What is your savvy sauce? [00:46:26]    Dr. Juli Slattery: Well, I would have to go back and listen to the episodes I've been on before to see if I say the same one all the time. But my savvy sauce is just really spending time with the Lord and really trying to make sure I reserve that first hour of the day for connection with Him, for surrendering to Him, learning from Him, just wanting to do what he calls me to do. So that's my savvy sauce right there.   Laura Dugger: Well, you are always a calm and steady and helpful guest. As we opened this discussion, we talked about that passage from Matthew 9:37, where Jesus is saying the field is ripe for the harvest, but the laborers are few. So I just want to say thank you for being a willing and skilled helper. I'm so grateful to get to have you as my returning guest.   Dr. Juli Slattery: Oh, Laura, thank you. Thanks for giving me a chance to share. It's always a joy to talk to you. [00:47:31]    Laura Dugger: Likewise.    One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves.   This means there is absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a Savior.   But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news.   Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. [00:48:31] This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us.   Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.    So would you pray with me now? Heavenly Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.    If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him. You get the opportunity to live your life for Him. [00:49:31] And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you ready to get started?    First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes & Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible, and I love it. You can start by reading the Book of John.    Also, get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps, such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.    We want to celebrate with you too, so feel free to leave a comment for us here if you did make a decision to follow Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.    Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." [00:50:36] The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.    If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Today, we tackle the sensitive subject of masturbation. What does the Bible say about it? Why do Christians differ on their opinions? And how can we discern what's right for us? Sponsor Thanks, once again, to Married Dance for sponsoring this episode. Check them out for quality products displayed in a nudity-free and marriage-focused environment. Great customer service too! From the Bible But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. 1 Timothy 3:1–5 (not about masturbation, but a passage we discussed and worth reading in context for yourself) “Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12 “Everything is permissible,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible,” but not everything builds up. 1 Corinthians 10:23 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is sin for them. James 4:17 Resources Solo Masturbation? | The Forgiven Wife Masturbation: Hands On or Hands Off? - Hot, Holy & Humorous Orgasms Make You Squeamish? It's OK To Explore Your Body • Bonny's Oysterbed7 Episode 76: Listener Questions (includes "Is it sinful to figure out how to reach orgasm on your own so that you can show your husband what works?") Episode 124: Touching Yourself, Sex Just for Fun & Erectile Problems (Answering Listener Questions) (including touching yourself during sex) Two Wives & Candid Conversation about Masturbation - Hot, Holy & Humorous Two Wives. Talking About Masturbation. – Intimacy in Marriage More Candid Conversation about Masturbation - Hot, Holy & Humorous More Masturbation Talk. From a Couple of Wives. – Intimacy in Marriage Episode 151: Q&A - Sex Tips, Fantasy, Refusing Sex & Elusive Orgasm (fantasizing during sex) How to Fantasize About Your Spouse - Hot, Holy & Humorous The Higher Desire Wife: Understanding and Help for Christian Women Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives by J. Parker (releases March 18, preorder now!) Episode 185: Women's Freedom from Porn, with Juli Slattery & Joy Skarka Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy by Juli Slattery & Joy Skarka Joy Skarka – Creating Spaces to Set Christian Women Free from Porn and Sexual Shame Porn Addiction Help for Women | XXXchurch.com Help for Women Who Have a Sex Addiction - SAA SheRecovery.com | Pornography & Sexual Addiction Support for Women The Female Addict & Unraveled – Pure Desire Ministries Workshop Healing For Women - Bethesda Workshops L.I.F.E. Guide for Women: A Workbook for Women Seeking Recovery from Sexual Addiction by Marnie Ferree No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction by Marnie Ferree Love Sick: One Woman's Journey through Sexual Addiction by Sue William Silverman Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we'd appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker 

I recently had the incredible opportunity to be a guest on Gary Thomas' podcast. If you've been around Delight Your Marriage for a while, you know what a dear friend Gary has been to this ministry. Not only is he a best-selling author and speaker, but he's also been so generous in inviting us to share on his platform in the past. And this time? I got to be part of a panel alongside two truly amazing women: Juli Slattery—President and Co-Founder of Authentic Intimacy and author of several life-changing books, including God, Sex, & Your Marriage and Rethinking Sexuality. Debra Fileta—Creator of the #1 faith-based relationship advice blog TrueLoveDates.com and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life and Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love (among many others). We came together for a powerful discussion about helping wives awaken to intimate pleasure—such an essential and often overlooked topic. The wisdom and insights from these women were just incredible, and I cannot wait for you to hear this conversation. Here were some key takeaways from our panel discussion: The Challenge of Awakening Sexual Fulfillment For so many women, the journey toward enjoying sex in marriage isn't a simple switch—it's a process. If you've spent years saying "no"—whether because of purity culture, past wounds, or just never learning that sex is a gift—it makes sense that "yes" doesn't come easily. And you are not alone in this! How Husbands Can Help Their Wives Awaken to Pleasure Men, you've likely never been discipled in how to help your wife step into her own sexual enjoyment. Many husbands enter marriage assuming their wife will naturally embrace sex, but the reality is, she may feel lost, hesitant, or even afraid. This is where your role as her safe place matters deeply. Here are some questions that Debra suggested as conversation starters on sex: What's something you're looking forward to in our sex life? What's something that makes you nervous or unsure? What beliefs about sex do you want to hold onto, and what do you want to let go of? Overcoming the Weight of Purity Culture Many women who "did everything right" and waited for marriage still find themselves struggling. Why? Because purity culture often framed sex as something to avoid, not as a gift to embrace. As Juli Slattery puts it, "Just because I waited, doesn't mean I know how to start." That's the truth. And if this is you, grace upon grace, my friend. Sexual wholeness isn't about following a list of dos and don'ts. It's about stepping into the fullness of what God has given and allowing Him to reframe any distorted views we carry. The Power of Emotional & Spiritual Connection Debra Fileta says, "What you do above the sheets paves the way for what happens under the sheets." I could not agree more. Emotional and spiritual safety fuels physical intimacy. Husbands, if your wife doesn't feel safe, known, and whole-heartedly cherished, her body won't naturally respond to you with desire. So, before you think about sex, think about: Playfulness in everyday life (it builds intimacy!) How you affirm and admire her body How well she feels known and cherished by you It's Not About You, It's About Her A massive shift for many husbands is realizing that sex in marriage isn't just about "getting my needs met." If your wife doesn't feel safe, it's no wonder intimacy feels like a duty rather than a desire. You have an opportunity to disciple your heart in a new way. Instead of seeing your wife as the "acceptable outlet" for your sexual needs, ask: "How can I be the safest place for her to enjoy intimacy?" When she feels safe, she will want to engage. Not out of obligation, but because she feels free to. How to Move Toward More Desire in Marriage Wives, rather than wondering and praying, "Why am I broken?" for not wanting intimacy, instead ask, "How can I cultivate a desire for intimacy?" Some ideas: Non-sexual sensual touch with no pressure Playfulness in your daily life (This is huge!) Embracing a "turning a dial" rather than "flipping a switch" approach to intimacy    Addressing Past Trauma & Emotional Wounds Even in strong marriages, past sexual trauma or unhealthy conditioning can affect intimacy. And let's be real: just having a great marriage doesn't mean sex will be effortless. For some, the body's response to past wounds will still show up. That's okay. It's part of the journey. Healing takes time, patience, and sometimes outside help. If this is part of your story, give yourself permission to process what's needed. The Role of Faith & Hope in Sexual Fulfillment God is a God of hope. If your marriage has felt disconnected, there is hope. If you've never truly enjoyed sexual pleasure, there is hope. Your story isn't over. Pursue wholeness—emotionally, spiritually, and physically—and trust that intimacy can be more fulfilling than you ever imagined. Final Thoughts Husbands: Emotional and spiritual intimacy first, pleasure follows. Wives: You are not broken. Your pleasure matters. Both: Intimacy is a journey, not a destination. Keep taking steps, and trust that God is working in it all. Friend, you are not alone. Your marriage can grow, your desire can awaken, and your intimacy can thrive. Keep leaning in, keep growing, and keep trusting that God has more for you than you even realize. Be blessed! Love,   Belah & Team  

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates (our last “Quickie”), Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what's next—what do you do with all that's been shared in these 12 days of Quickie episodes. We also share some recommended resources to help you take the next step in your marriage and sexual intimacy. Questions to Discuss:Which episode of the 12 days of Quickies was most helpful to you?What's something you learned in this series that you want to apply in your marriage?Are there some concepts discussed in these episodes that would be good to discuss with community to help encourage and challenge each other? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaWebsite – Authentic IntimacyPodcast – Christian Sexuality – Java with JuliPodcasts – The Naked Marriage Podcast with Dave & Ashley Willis and Marriage on the Line with Dave & AshleyBook – A Celebration of Sex for Newlyweds, by Douglas RosenauBook - Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn and Michael Sytsma

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some frequently asked questions about sex, including questions about cussing in the bedroom, sexual abuse, can I say “No,” sex during menstruation, and more. Scriptures:1 Corinthians 7:1-5Hebrews 13:4Ephesians 4:29  Questions to Discuss:How do you handle it in your marriage when one of you is in the mood for sex and the other isn't?Is there any part of your past/your story that would be helpful to discuss a counselor or doctor to get some help and guidance?What questions do you still have about sex and marriage? Email them in to marriage@harriscreek.org for future episodes. Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaWebsite – Authentic IntimacyMinistry for those who have experienced sexual abuse – Courageous Hope at Harris CreekBook – Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault, by Justin & Lindsey Holcomb

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss a frequently asked question about orgasms—for him, for her, and the elusive unicorn of mutual orgasm. We also discuss some common differences between the male and female orgasm.  Questions to Discuss:Have you and your spouse discussed your expectations about how to please each other?How can you take one step to help your spouse reach orgasm?How do you do in giving feedback to each other in the bedroom? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaPodcast – The Naked Marriage Podcast – Should We Orgasm Together?Website – Authentic Intimacy

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss a frequently asked question— how followers of Christ should think about and make decisions about birth control. What does the Bible say and how Christians should think about birth control. Scriptures:Psalm 127:3Romans 12:21 Cor 6:19-20 Questions to Discuss:Have you and your spouse discussed your views about birth control?Take some time to pray about what God would have you do regarding birth control. Do some research about birth control and discuss with your doctor and your community as needed. Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaPodcast – More Than Roommates Episode 42 – When's the Right Time to Grow Your Family?Website – Authentic Intimacy

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, we figured it would be a perfect time to drop in a much needed conversation on the topic of intimacy. In a world and culture that has sexualized the word intimacy, today’s conversation gets back to the basics of God’s original intent and design for intimacy. We also spend time peeling back the layers of intimacy such as physical, emotional, & spiritual intimacy as well. Joining us to do just that is a man who has one of the most impactful testimonies you will ever hear, Joshua Broome. If you’re not familiar with Josh’s story, it’s a testiment of the love, grace, and faithfulness of our God, where a former adult film star embarked on a life-changing journey to fill the void in his heart. Despite fame and success, he found emptiness. Battling depression and thoughts of self harm, Josh discovered the transformative power of Jesus. Now, he shares his story of redemption on podcasts, TV shows, and stages, spreading God's message of restoration all over the world. With a BS in Christian Ministries, our guest and his wife Hope have been married for seven years, raising their four sons in Dallas, Texas. His message is centered on the fact that no matter what you have done or what has happened to you the love of Jesus Christ stands ready to change your future. Whether you’re preparing for or repairing the relationship God has called you to, today’s conversation is a must hear as it’s filled with practical tips and strategies to recenter your heart on what matters most. Remember, love is not something you become better at, love is someone you become more like. We hope and pray that this conversation would not only impact you, but also those you love. Josh’s Website: https://www.joshuabroome.me/ Josh’s Book: https://www.joshuabroome.me/joshuas-book Struggling with Pornography? Join Zach & Josh today to Receive 8 FREE Videos in their P51 Project: https://ignitemen.net/the-p51-project/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some common myths and stereotypes about sex drive, desire, and frequency and some potential differences between men and women.  Questions to Discuss:What's the biggest challenge you face in your marriage related to sex drive, desire, and frequency?Have a conversation with your spouse about the topics raised in this episode. Make sure you listen well and seek to understand. Resources:Book – Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael SytsmaBook – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaPodcast – Married with Benefits (FamilyLife Network)Website – Authentic Intimacy

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss common challenges couples face with sexual intimacy. These challenges (such as past abuse and trauma, physical pain, guilt and shame) are more common than we might realize, and if you're struggling, you are not alone! Scriptures:Romans 8:1Genesis 32 Cor 5:17 Questions to Discuss:What's been the biggest challenge the two of you have faced in sexual intimacy?Who can you connect with to discuss any issues/challenges you face/could face when it comes to sexual intimacy? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaWebsite – Authentic Intimacy

Noah Filipiak is a pastor and author of Beyond the Battle: A Man's Guide to His Identity in Christ in an Oversexualized World. He and Brian talk about the prevalence of sexual sin, namely pornography, in our society and even in the church. Noah shares how community is essential for recovery and how we can have hope through accountability and faith. Links & Episode Notes Noah Filipiak Mosaic Church Beyond the Battle: A Man's Guide to His Identity in Christ in an Oversexualized World Needed Navigation: A Teen's Guide to His or Her Identity in Christ in a Sex & Porn-Filled World The Flip Side podcast SheRecovery.com Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids by Kristen A. Jenson Sex Ed Reclaimed Covenant Eyes Accountable2You Atomic Habits by James Clear Beyond the Battle accountability groups Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy by Juli Slattery and Joy Skarka Authentic Intimacy Husband Material Pure Desire Ministries Samson Society Offers Get a free month of Covenant Eyes using promo code BEYOND Get a free month of Accountable2You keyword accountability at a2u.app/beyond Made to Advance is a production of Engedi Church and is hosted by Brian Aulick.

Juli and Hannah answer your questions about sex and singleness in this week's special Java with Juli episode.   Hannah's Website: hannahnitz.com Hannah's Instagram: @hannahnitz   Explore resources on Singleness and Dating   Check out our online book studies!   Partner with Authentic Intimacy— donate today!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Raising your kids to love and know Jesus has never been easy, and in a culture saturated with messages about human sexuality, it can feel next to impossible to raise your kids with biblical values and a Christian sexual ethic. How do we effectively disciple our kids? Dr. George Barna, founder of the Barna Group and America's foremost faith and culture researcher, joins Juli to talk about his new book, “Raising Spiritual Champions”, and what parents can do to equip their kids with a robust faith.   Website: georgebarna.com Book: Raising Spiritual Champions by Dr. George Barna   Trying to teach your kids about Christian sexuality? Check out our free resource, “10 Questions and Answers Your Child May Ask About Sexuality”   Partner with Authentic Intimacy— donate today!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

How do you know you've started menopause? Can you get pregnant during menopause? What happens to your sex drive during menopause? Experts Dr. Debra Taylor, LMFT and Dr. Michael Sytsma, CST, CPS, join Juli to share some crucial information about menopause, options for easing symptoms, and how husbands can be sympathetic supporters at this pivotal moment in a woman's life.   Guests: Dr. Debra Taylor, LMFT and Dr. Michael Sytsma, CST, CPS   Debra's Website: debraltaylortherapy.com Mike's Website: intimatemarriage.org Mike's Instagram: @buildingintimatemarriages @drsytsma   Find out more about our Online Book Study groups! Partner with Authentic Intimacy!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Was the God of the Old Testament less benevolent than the God of the New Testament? Or are too many of us missing the greater truths and narratives woven into a beautiful, historic text? Dr. Sandra Richter, author of The Epic of Eden, joins Juli to bring a rich and refreshing perspective to women, God, and the Old Testament.   Guest: Dr. Sandra Richter   Sandra's Website: linktr.ee/sandralynrichter Sandra's Instagram: @sandralynrichter   Book: The Epic of Eden: A Christian Entry into the Old Testament by Dr. Sandra Richter Book: Deborah Bible Study Guide plus Streaming Video: Unlikely Heroes and the Book of Judges (Epic of Eden) by Dr. Sandra Richter   Donate to Authentic Intimacy!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

What should a pastor with a porn problem do? How should his church respond? Pastor Garrett Kell joins Juli on the podcast to talk about his years-long struggle with porn, coming clean, and how his church responded to his sin.   Garrett's Instagram: @j.garrett.kell Book: Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin and the Promises of God by J. Garrett Kell   Donate to Authentic Intimacy on Giving Tuesday!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

If you grew up in the church, you may have experienced purity culture, which often misrepresented God's view of sex. In this episode, Dr. Juli Slattery, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, discusses sexual wholeness and the difference between sexual purity and sexual integrity. She provides practical tools for having these important conversations with your children. This insightful discussion comes from the 2024 Unapologetic Women's Conference and is too valuable not to share.Discover more and connect with Dr. Juli Slattery: https://www.authenticintimacy.com/

Dr. Juli Slattery a clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and the president/co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, joins the podcast for part three of our series looking at the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, Nick, Ashley, and Juli explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing.Resources:Order 'Beyond The Porn Phenomenon' Java With Juli PodcastAuthentic Intimacy WebsiteBarna Website  GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter)

#136: In this episode, Kim and Leah welcome Dr. Joy Skarka, author of Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy. They discuss the journey of freedom for those struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors. They explore Dr. Joy's personal freedom journey, her new book, and the growing issue of pornography among women. The conversation emphasizes the damaging effects of pornography, the misconception that marriage will solve sexual struggles, and the spiritual aspects of sexuality. Listeners are encouraged to steward their sexual desires and seek support from trusted mentors. Dr. Joy offers hope and practical advice for women navigating these challenges, reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles. Introduction to Sexuality and Relationships Dr. Joy's Journey and Book Insights Understanding Sexuality and Purity The Growing Issue of Pornography Among Women The Damaging Effects of Pornography The Misconception of Marriage as a Solution The Spiritual Aspect of Sexuality Stewarding Sexual Desires Practical Tips for Managing Sexual Urges Navigating Conversations About Pornography Encouragement for Women Struggling with Pornography Final Thoughts and Words of Hope Resources mentioned in this episode: Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn & Shame to Authentic Intimacy, Dr. Joy Skarka & Dr. Juli Slattery Sex and the Single Girl, Dr. Juli Slattery Rethinking Sexuality, Dr. Juli Slattery authenticintimacy.com Joy's Instagram: @joyskarka @skarkafamily Related Episodes: #48 What Porn Doesn't Tell You (w/Joy Skarka) #77 Single With a Sex Drive, Part 1 (w/Joy Skarka) For more information about the podcast and the Loving Your Husband Before You Even Have One book, please visit ⁠www.kimvollendorf.com⁠. To learn more about StuMo, visit https://www.stumo.org/ To learn more about Downline, visit https://www.downlinememphis.com/emerging-leaders To fill out an interest form for Downline, visit https://www.downlinememphis.com/emerging-leaders-interest-form For video clips from this episode, please visit our instagram page ⁠@sixonesis⁠ Thanks for listening!

Why did God design our bodies the way He did? Is our gender more than our bodies? What does it look like to live out our male and femaleness? Dr. Abigail Favale, author of “The Genesis of Gender”, joins Juli to talk about why our bodies matter and how to cultivate a deep and rich theology around sex and gender.     Guest: Dr. Abigail Favale     Abigail's website: abigailfavale.wixsite.com/home  Book: The Genesis of Gender by Dr. Abigail Favale   Learn more about becoming an Authentic Intimacy member!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Do you struggle with viewing pornography or sexual brokenness? In this episode, Allie Marie Smith and Dr. Joy Skarka discuss the sensitive and serious topic of pornography addiction. They highlight the prevalence of pornography among women and the various forms it takes, such as online videos, TV shows, movies, and erotica. Dr. Skarka shares her personal story of finding freedom from pornography addiction and emphasizes the importance of discovering one's identity in Christ and seeking support from a safe Christian woman. They also address the lies women can believe about sexuality and the need to break free from them. The episode concludes with a discussion of Dr. Skarka's book, 'Her Freedom Journey,' and information about her ministry, Authentic Intimacy.   Visit our Website Join our online community   Get Allie's Book: “Wonderfully Made: Discover the Identity, Love, and Worth You Were Created For”   Shownotes direct link  

When we struggle with sexual sin, what is God's ultimate hope for us? Is it that we stop our sexual sin? Or does it go beyond that to addressing our sinful nature and hearts, bringing us to a place of submission and surrender? Jackie Hill Perry shares how God drew her to Himself and brought her out of a lesbian lifestyle.   Guest: Jackie Hill Perry     Book: Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry   REGISTER FOR RECLAIM: SURRENDERED SEXUALITY! Learn more about becoming an Authentic Intimacy member!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

On today's episode, I get to have a raw and powerful conversation with Joy Skarka, Director of Discipleship at Authentic Intimacy, about turning pain into passion and the journey to healing and freedom. Joy's story is one that many women can relate to but few speak openly about. She shares how, after being sexually assaulted on her third day of college, she was plunged into a season of pain, isolation, and shame. Like so many, she turned to the internet for answers about sex and sexuality, which led to a secret addiction to pornography—a coping mechanism that left her feeling more alone and trapped. But Joy didn't stay in the dark. She began to share her story, and to her surprise, women around her began to open up too. This episode dives deep into the issues of sexual brokenness, shame, and the way pornography affects women—a problem that is far more prevalent than many realize. Joy shares her anchor verse, Galatians 5:1: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” Her message is clear: no one is too far gone for forgiveness, and healing begins when we bring our struggles into the light. It's not about behavior modification—it's about heart transformation through Jesus. Joy talks about the importance of unpacking the root issues that drive us to unhealthy coping mechanisms and finding our identity in Christ. True intimacy can only be restored when we develop a deep, personal relationship with God. In this conversation, Joy reminds us that life is a battle, but as we continue to surrender our pain and shame to God, we can find freedom and healthier ways to cope. Bio: Dr. Joy Skarka, doctoral graduate from Dallas Theological Seminary, is the Director of Discipleship for Authentic Intimacy. Joy leads online groups for women with unwanted sexual behavior and trains leaders to help women find freedom from sexual shame and pornography. Joy has a published dissertation, "Sexual Shame in Women and How to Experience Freedom," and a published chapter in Sanctified Sexuality: Valuing Sex in an Oversexed World and is the co-author of Her Freedom Journey.    Anchor Verse: Galatians 5:1 Connect with Joy: Website: www.JoySkarka.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/joyskarka  Upcoming Conference: https://www.authenticintimacy.com/reclaim2024/ ***We love hearing from our listeners! Sharing your thoughts through reviews is a fantastic way to be a part of our podcast family and contribute to the conversation. If you've enjoyed our podcast, leaving a review is quick and easy! Just head to Apple podcasts or wherever you are tuning in and share your thoughts. Your feedback makes a big difference!***

In this episode, I have back on the program our delightful friend and colleague Dr. Joy Skarka to talk about her new book, "Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy," co-authored with Dr. Juli Slattery. Joy shares her personal journey and the mission of Authentic Intimacy, a ministry dedicated to helping individuals reclaim God's design for sexuality. We discuss the unique challenges women face with pornography, the importance of understanding God's unconditional love, and the journey toward sexual integrity – which emphasizes the power of truth, engaging community, and sharing one's story to overcome shame and find lifelong healing.For more info about Joy, the book, and the ministry, visit AuthenticIntimacy.com. Topics Covered in this Episode: Discussion of the book "Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy."Exploration of the challenges women face regarding pornography.The role of the Authentic Intimacy ministry in addressing issues of sexuality and intimacy.Personal stories of healing from shame, addiction, and abuse.The importance of understanding God's love and sexual integrity.The concept of sexual integrity and its integration with spiritual identity.The journey of healing as a continuous process rather than a destination.The impact of shame and identity on women's struggles with pornography.Practical tools for combating lies and embracing truth through scripture.Encouragement to share personal stories as a means of healing and breaking free from shame.More Resources:Her Freedom Journey* by Dr. Joy Skarka and Dr. Juli SlatteryHer Freedom Journey online book studySheRecovery.comRelated Podcasts:Freedom and Healing from Shame, Addiction, and AbuseNew Research on Why Women View PornGod's Grace for Women Struggling with Porn and Sexual Shame*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsSubscribe to our YouTube channel.

Female sexuality is complex, with numerous factors weighing into how a woman may feel about sex at any given time. Obstacles run the gamut, from parenting young kids, to demanding jobs, and sexual pain. What about the lesser-explored reasons why a woman might not feel excited about sexual intimacy with her husband? Dr. Jennifer Degler joins Juli to share her thoughts and observations.     Guest: Dr. Jennifer Degler     Jennifer's Website: jenniferdegler.com Jennifer on Instagram: @drjenniferdegler     Blog: Five Things You Need to Know About Women, Orgasm & Intimacy Donate to Authentic Intimacy!   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Studies have shown that churches are often among the first places people turn when they are experiencing domestic abuse, but unfortunately churches aren't always well-informed when it comes to how to help victims. Chris Moles and Stacey Womack, who work independently in organizations PeaceWorks and Abuse Recovery Ministry Services, join Juli to talk about what churches need to know when it comes to helping abuse victims.     Guests: Chris Moles and Stacey Womack     Chris's Website: chrismoles.org PeaceWorks Podcast Website:PeaceWorks Podcast PeaceWorks Live: Peaceworks Live 2024 Stacey's Website: Abuse Recovery and Ministry Services National Domestic Violence hotline Sign up for Second Cup! Learn more about Authentic Intimacy membership.   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3305: Melissa Josue challenges the common belief that being lied to undermines personal worth, arguing instead that lies reflect the liar's own fears and insecurities. She emphasizes that lies poison relationships by eroding trust and creating barriers to authentic intimacy, and offers guidance on fostering a space where truth and integrity can flourish. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://melissathelovecoach.com/dealing-with-lies/ Quotes to ponder: "The worst part about being lied to is that the liar didn't think highly of himself enough to show up authentically." "Lies are based in fear. Fear that their truth won't be accepted." "Meeting lies with truth opens the door for having more authentic relationships." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3305: Melissa Josue challenges the common belief that being lied to undermines personal worth, arguing instead that lies reflect the liar's own fears and insecurities. She emphasizes that lies poison relationships by eroding trust and creating barriers to authentic intimacy, and offers guidance on fostering a space where truth and integrity can flourish. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://melissathelovecoach.com/dealing-with-lies/ Quotes to ponder: "The worst part about being lied to is that the liar didn't think highly of himself enough to show up authentically." "Lies are based in fear. Fear that their truth won't be accepted." "Meeting lies with truth opens the door for having more authentic relationships." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you spot the difference between being nice and being kind? Many people mistakenly view niceness as a surefire way to a woman's heart, but in this week's Friday Field Notes latest episode Ryan Michler reveals why this approach often leads to manipulation rather than attraction.  Ryan shares practical tips on clearly stating your intentions, understanding what women truly seek in a partner, and cultivating genuine romantic connections. Whether you're single and struggling with the friend zone or feeling like a roommate in your marriage, his insights will help you create and rebuild intimacy in your relationships. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS (00:00) Episode Intro (00:43) Avoid Friend Zone, Rebuild Intimacy (15:26) Assertive Romantic Relationships and Boundaries (23:17) Mastering the Dating Game Battle Planners: Pick yours up today! Order Ryan's new book, The Masculinity Manifesto. For more information on the Iron Council brotherhood. Want maximum health, wealth, relationships, and abundance in your life? Sign up for our free course, 30 Days to Battle Ready  

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the books, podcasts, and resources that have most deeply affected their marriages. With a lot of great resources out there, we want to help you to be thoughtful about the resources that impact your marriage.  Scriptures:Proverbs 11:2Job 12:12Proverbs 13:20Resources Mentioned:The Glorious Pursuit, by Gary ThomasThe Meaning of Marriage, by Tim and Kathy KellerCherish, by Gary ThomasMarried Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John GottmanReady or Knot?, by Scott KedershaThe Ready or Knot Prayer Guide, by Scott KedershaOutdated, by Jonathan PokludaFriends, Partner, and Lovers, by Kevin ThompsonMarried Into the Family, by Dave & Ashley WillisHold Me Tight, and Created For Connection by Sue JohnsonA Lasting Promise, by Scott StanleyUs In Mind, by Ted LoweGreater Joy Twogether, by Ted CunninghamMore Than Roommates, Episode 35 – How to Identify the Four Negative Horsemen of Communication and ConflictMore Than Roommates, Episodes 53 – Friends, Partners, and Lovers in Marriage feat. Kevin ThompsonMore Than Roommates, Episode 58 – How to Thrive in a Blended Family feat. Ron DealMore Than Roommates, Episode 43 – The Not-So-Secret Guide to In-Law Relationships, feat. Dave WillisMore Than Roommates, Episode 12 – Identifying Negative Communication PatternsWebsite & Podcast - Authentic Intimacy, Juli SlatteryWebsite & Podcast - Fierce MarriageWebsite & Podcast – Family Life TodayQuestions to Discuss:1. If you were on a deserted, and could only bring 1-2 books (besides the Bible), what book(s) would you bring with you?2. What marriage book has been most helpful for you and your spouse?3. Out of all the resources mentioned, which one will you and your spouse read and/or listen to?

In this episode I have the absolute pleasure of talking to Dr. Joy Skarka.  Joy is a leader in helping women find freedom and healing from sexual shame with her doctoral work, leading seminars and workshops with Authentic Intimacy, and now is the author of a new book on the topic, Her Freedom Journey—a guide out of porn and shame to authentic intimacy.  In her book, Joy bravely shares her own journey from addiction to freedom. She educates her readers on the way porn use fuels harm, addiction and shame. But she doesn't leave us there. Instead, she offers so much help and hope to her readers who might be struggling with these issues themselves or want to help someone who is. This book is going to be such an incredible resource to many. It is going to change lives. This episode is full of so many practical tips, encouragement and hope. I am truly honored to introduce you to Dr. Joy today. And I am so proud to share this conversation with you.  Some helpful links from today's episode: Get resources from Dr. Joy's website here Follow Dr. Joy on Instagram here Get Dr. Joy's book, Her Freedom Journey, here Get more resources on all kinds of sexual issues from Authentic Intimacy here Hopeful bible verse: “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4  Some favorite quotes from today's episode:  *“Look at all that God has done!” Dr. Joy Skarka *“Girls use porn too. And girls need to be protected from porn too.” Greta Eskridge *”If we don't talk about it for women and they're secretly struggling, there is just so much more shame and so many more problems down the line.” Dr. Joy Skarka *”Do you know what gave me the courage? Someone else went first. I heard a courageous woman share her story at a college student women's event. Until that moment, I had never heard a woman admit she struggled with sexual sin. For the first time I realized I wasn't alone and I wasn't a total freak for being a woman who struggled with sexual sin.” Dr. Joy Skarka *”Really what I needed was healthier coping mechanisms.” Dr. Joy Skarka *”Not only is sexual sin addictive, but it is damaging to your brain. It reconstructs your neurological pathways and bonds you to the images because God created you for intimacy.” Dr. Joy Skarka *There is more to it than ‘just stop watching porn'. You have to heal your brain and your body too.” Dr. Joy Skarka *”You were not created for sex, but for intimacy.” Dr. Joy Skarka *”God created us with a longing to be loved and to have intimacy that can only be met through Him. So if we're turning to these fake things that are trying to give us fake intimacy, we're always going to come up short and continue to have a longing for more.” Dr. Joy Skarka *”By delighting in Him, you find something that doesn't just numb the pain, but heals the pain. That's what God does.” Greta Eskridge *”The good news is this: we worship a God who redeems and restores our broken sexuality. Not only does God restore the beauty from ashes, but He also restores and renews our brains. We can have hope that even if we have been negatively affected by porn, we can be healed!” Dr. Joy Skarka *”We worship a God who can restore anything and that's our hope. God's power and His healing and His miracles can restore and redeem anybody's brains.” Dr. Joy Skarka *”The porn industry is purposely creating porn for women. They have a whole branded type of porn, they call it ‘romance porn'. They also have porn to draw in kids because they know if they capture them they're going to stay with us and be our clients for decades.” Dr. Joy Skarka *”Satan wants us to stay in that place of shame. He wants us to feel afraid and to feel like we're cancelled because of the mistakes of our past, the decisions we made, the things that happened to us, even the things that aren't our fault. He wants us to hide in that shame. And he wants us to stay quiet. But God can use our story when we bring it into the light.” Greta Eskridge *”The enemy thrives in the darkness and he thrives in the shame. But if we bring it into the light, that's where the healing happens.” Dr. Joy Skarka 

Struggles with pornography are incredibly common within the Church, and the problem isn't going to go away on its own. What can churches do to be an environment where it is safe for congregants and leaders to admit struggles and get the support they need to overcome them? How can those going into ministry receive sufficient discipleship and care so they can heal from past traumas, win the battle, and walk closely and authentically with Jesus? Sam Black, Director of Life Change Education at Covenant Eyes, and author of “The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong about Pornography and How to Fix It”, joins Juli to discuss what the church at large can do to address the issue of pornography. Guest: Sam Black Website: thehealingchurch.com Website: covenanteyes.com App: The Victory App Instagram: @covenant.eyes Book: “The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong about Pornography and How to Fix It” by Sam Black Book: “Her Freedom Journey” by Dr. Joy Skarka and Dr. Juli Slattery Get your free 5-day guide to finding freedom from sexual sin! Check out Authentic Intimacy's partner ministry, Sexual Discipleship®!     Be Broken Ministries Pure Desire Samson Society SheRecovery   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Dr. Julie Slattery, a clinical psychologist and founder of Authentic Intimacy, discusses the topic of sex and intimacy from a biblical perspective. She explains that healthy sexuality within a marriage is built on four pillars: faithfulness, intimate knowing, sacrificial giving, and passionate celebration. Dr. Slattery emphasizes the importance of understanding the neurochemical differences between men and women and the need for vulnerability and open communication in a marriage. She also addresses the issue of pornography and the importance of seeking help and accountability. Overall, Dr. Slattery encourages couples to embrace God's design for sex and intimacy in order to experience deep connection and fulfillment in their relationships. In this conversation, Juli Slattery and Jerrad Lopes discuss the importance of addressing sexual intimacy in marriage. They cover topics such as the impact of pornography on relationships, the need for vulnerability and support from other men, the importance of sacrificial giving, and the misconception of sex as a need. They also provide practical advice for couples to improve their sexual relationship and emphasize the importance of communication and understanding each other's needs.

Juli Slattery & Joy Skarka join us today for a candid conversation about women and their struggle with porn. If you struggle, this episode will help. But if you don't, listen anyway so that you can be there to support fellow women trying to break free. And be sure to check out the new resource, Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out Of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy, cowritten by Dr. Juli Slattery and Dr. Joy Skarka Sponsor Thanks to Share the Soap, your go-to site for natural, quality bath and skin care products! And check out their special deal just for our listeners: free aloe gel with any order using coupon code FCWALOE. (Put gel in your cart, use the code, and the price for that will go to zero.) From the Bible It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God. Ezekiel 11:19–20 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,     because the Lord has anointed me     to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,     to proclaim freedom for the captives     and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor     and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,     and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty     instead of ashes, the oil of joy     instead of mourning, and a garment of praise     instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness,     a planting of the Lord     for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:1–3 Resources Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery & Dr. Joy Skarka Joy Skarka – Creating Spaces to Set Christian Women Free from Porn and Sexual Shame Authentic Intimacy - Juli Slattery Fight the New Drug The First Time I Saw Porn - Hot, Holy & Humorous Episode 3: 50 Shades of Here-We-Go-Again Episode 154: Why We're Against Porn and Erotica Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman's Heart by Dannah Gresh & Dr. Juli Slattery Why Do Women Pose for Porn? - Hot, Holy & Humorous What Are the Real Purposes of Sex? - Hot, Holy & Humorous Supernatural Sex: Spiritual Dimension of Libido for Low-Drive Wives • Bonny's Oysterbed7 (about yada') Episode 183: What Does God Have to Do with Our Sex Life Sex and the Single Girl by Dr. Juli Slattery, Abby Ludvigson & Chelsea Nugteren Talking to Your Kids about Sex: No More One & Done - Hot, Holy & Humorous Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex by Julia Sandusky Who I Am in Christ by Neil T. Anderson Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we'd appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker 

In Jesus there is hope for healing and transformation, but that doesn't mean that in this life we won't experience hardship and brokenness. Brenna Blain, renowned speaker and new author, knows this better than most. Experiencing same-sex attraction and fighting her own mental health battle from around the age of 14, Brenna joins Juli to explain how coming to the very end of herself led her to a place desperate enough to long for God Himself, and not just His healing.   Guest: Brenna Blain   Brenna's Website: brenna-blain.vercel.app/ Brenna's Instagram: @bunonmyhead   Help is available. If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.   Explore more resources on healing. Learn more about the Authentic Intimacy member community and available resources. Partner with Authentic Intimacy.   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

While many of us are familiar with the concept of abuse, we are typically familiar with the conventional stereotypes around abuse. We typically picture a younger, weaker party who is taken advantage of by a dominant person. It's rare we picture a friend, mentor or someone we trust harming us.   Unfortunately this is what happened to Tricia Lott Williford. In the same 72-hour span in which she experienced the sudden and unexpected death of her husband, she experienced sexual assault from someone she considered a friend and a mentor.   Tricia and her therapist, Jana Richardson, join Juli to talk about how to recognize, fight, and recover from abuse in all its forms.     Guests: Tricia Lott Williford and Jana Richardson     Website: tricialottwilliford.com Instagram: @tricialottwilliford   Book: You Are Safe Now by Tricia Lott Williford and Jana Richardson, MA, LPC, EMDR Book: And Life Comes Back by Tricia Lott Williford   Java with Juli: #497 Trying to Heal? Here's Why Knowing Your Story is Essential Blog: How Do I Know If I'm in an Abusive Relationship? Blog: As Christians, How Do We Respond to Abuse Allegations in the Church?   If you're a member, we'll be discussing this episode in more depth and taking your questions, live, during Second Cup tomorrow, April 9. Members, sign up for Second Cup here! If you're not a member you can learn more here.   Learn more about the Authentic Intimacy member community     Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

Accidental influencer and author of “Forever Home”, Anh Lin, shares her story of journeying through trauma and brokenness to a place of healing.   You'll hear Anh talk about: Her unlikely encounter with Jesus How she medicated her pain and grief with partying and alcohol Experiencing rock bottom, even after finding Jesus     Guest: Anh Lin     Anh's website: girlandtheword.com Anh's Instagram: @girlandtheword Book: “Forever Home: Moving Beyond Brokenness to Build a Strong and Beautiful Life” by Anh Lin   Blog: How Do I Know If I'm in an Abusive Relationship? Blog: Don't Waste the Pain   Sign up for Second Cup on April 9th! Learn more about the Authentic Intimacy member community   This is the last episode you'll be able to listen to on your Google Podcasts App. If you usually listen to Google Podcasts, don't worry, our episodes are still available on YouTube and Spotify, or if you're an iPhone user, you can find us on Apple Podcasts as well. Make sure to subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, on YouTube, or on Spotify.   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness