Something Wiki This Way Comes

From the archives, it's an episode of the podcast we recorded almost two years ago, back when Luke Cecelon was still in Winnipeg! Join the boys as they tackle organizing dvds- a topic that's as timely now as it ever was. Once again Jesse is left to defend the article's honour from Thomas and Luke's relentless petitions for "logic" and "practicality."

This SWTWC is a special episode for a couple of reasons: first, we have awesome improviser and A–level curler Laurie MacDonell joining us, and this is last episode where Thomas and I will record in the same room. Yes, Big T is moving to LA, and we just know he'll succeed what with all of his cumulative knowledge from a year of reading WikiHow. Anyways, do you hate talking on the phone? We certainly do! We hate talking into anything, which makes it weird that we do a podcast. This week we discuss "How to Use the Telephone." Jesse opens up about the time he wasn't even close to winning a vacation, we learn about Thomas' prank phone call gone wrong, and Laurie dives into what the best answering machine message should be.

Comedian Dana Smith joins us to talk about how to look like a computer cracker. NOT a computer hacker. These are very different things, we can't emphasize that enough. Thomas harbours malicious intent, Jesse translates things into "English", and Dana discusses the pitfalls of sneezing while serving.

Musician Ben Sellick joins us to discuss a very serious topic: how to LOVE the taste of that plain, flavourless, dull–as–dirt clear stuff we all love to hate: Water. It's a wild ride, and the improv gets, shall we say, a little BLUE (ha ha), but don't worry, we still manage to reference M. Night Shyalaman movies and borscht–slurping grandmas. And as a bonus, enjoy not ONE, but TWO dead–on impressions of Canadian Prime Ministers! Thomas breaks things down for the layman, Jesse remembers the saddest episode of Mythbusters, and Ben flawlessly describes a bell.

We've got a real banger this time! Comedian Paul Little joins us to talk about writing metal lyrics. And we don't just talk about writing– we write an entire song during the episode! We take a real hard look at society and expose the dark underbelly of... LISTS. Thomas waxes nostalgic about Weird Al, Jesse gives his well-thought out, nuanced take on 2016 American Presidential election, and Paul, well, Paul screams.

Are you a jock? A prep? Whatever the heck a "scene kid" is? Do you want to be? Actor/ improviser Robyn Slade joins us to teach you how to reinvent yourself over the summer. Should you learn to Nollie? Work out three times? Or should you just buy some new clothes? Robyn talks about her high school wardrobe, Jesse is confused by a certain type of summer camp, and Thomas reminisces about a scary friend. Oh, and a BIG DISCLAIMER: you may need money.

We're back after a little Fringe-induced hiatus! This one of our longest episodes yet, for learning one of our shortest skills: how to eat six Saltine crackers in ONE MINUTE. They said it couldn't be done. They said it was impossible. Well, we SPIT in their faces, whoever they are. Granted, neither Thomas nor Jesse have actually tried the six Saltine challenge, but nevertheless we trust wholeheartedly in the wisdom of WikiHow. This time around the boys misremember urban legends, make a lot of religious references, and talk way, WAY too much about "gumming."

Steady... steady... that's it, make no sudden movements... If you're one of our *cough* THOUSANDS *cough* of listeners who tune in during their daily commute, then you're in luck. We may just save you from plummeting off of a cliff to probable certain doom. You're welcome, by the way. Actors and Improvisers Kevin Ramberran and Justin Fry join us this week for some vertically vociferous venting. The pun of the show award goes to Thomas Toles, for a fantastic bit of japery involving a certain red-headed actress. And remember: if your chauffeur is growing a moustache, he's probably plotting your demise.

Comedian Cathy Herbert joins us to talk about the mysterious world of "Horse Whispering." We'll answer many of your questions- how to approach a horse, what diploma programs to enrol in, what shape of pen you should build, and, of course, how to keep your taxes in order. Because, as we all know, Horse Whispering is ALL about the $$$$$.

Actor and human Daniel Chen joins us to explain how to make people believe you're a "robot in disguise", to coin a phrase. How should you speak? How much trivia should you know? Is it okay to make jokes and be sarcastic? Jesse bleeps and bloops, Thomas explores his emotions, and Dan draws several blanks, but bounces back strong. Listen and prepare yourself for the inevitable singularity, or a M.A.L.C.O.L.M. in the Middle reboot.

Improvisers Jonathan Kornelson and Colin Ward join us for an episode that all of our fans have (probably) been clamouring for: How to Become a Civil War Corpse! We cover all the tricks, from planning your death screech to getting the spectators involved. Jesse ponders time travel, Thomas and Jon spar over accuracy vs entertainment, and Colin's rigged up a pulley system to heaven. So get busy living' AND get busy dyin'.

A long time ago, in a recording studio far, far away, two people delivered the freshest, most on-point analysis of the Star Wars prequels you've ever heard. We also talk about how to make your own Star Wars Film! All you need is some characters, something to happen to them, some good actor friends, and a couple hours of free time! Jesse busts out his killer Alfred Hitchcock impression, and Thomas reveals how George Lucas creates so many compelling alien characters. The best-wordplay award also goes to Thomas for an incredible droid/boxing match bon mot. Can you spot it?

We're back with one of the first episodes we'd ever recored, and that means Luke Cecelon's on board with all of his insights, and- LOOK OUT FOR THAT PLATTER OF TACOS!!! Ha ha, just jokin'! That's what we here at SWTWC call a "prank"! And don't worry- there's plenty more where that came from as we explore how to be the ULTIMATE Jackass fan. Thomas admires a party boy, Jesse has difficulty reading an absurd list of men's names, and Luke describes a truly disturbing midnight prank.

Is it just us or is it about to get steamy in here? That's right, it's Jesse Bergen and Thomas Toles, the original Love Gurus. They're here to teach you about how to track down that mysterious admirer who's been leaving you anonymous Valentine's cards all these years. Let their rich, dulcet voices take you on an audio journey filled with romance, Garfield references, and obscure typography puns.

Oh boy, have we got a wild one for you! Jesse Bergen and Thomas Toles are joined by a whopping FIVE guests this time! East coast improvisers Spencer Dunn and Michelle Hart have stopped in on their way across Canada promoting the Canadian Improv Games (CIG)! Improv power couple Katy Bennet and Karl Plummer lend their wisdom, and returning guest Tristen Foy is back as well! All this is to say, this is a 45 minute audio file in which seven people talk about a gymnastic maneuver called a "round off."

It's just Jesse and Thomas this week for a bell-jingling, tinsel-trimming, menorah-lighting extravaganza of a holiday episode! Look at those gifts sitting under your festive decorations. Wanna know how to open them early without getting caught? We got the best tips, tricks, and hacks to sneak a peek at the goods while staying off the naughty list. This is our gift from us to you, and because you've been extra good this year, we'll throw in some Shakespeare/Tim Burton wordplay as a bonus.

Improviser Caity Curtis joins us as our special guest to talk g-g-g-g-ghosts in an episode that's both creepy and cool! How do you find ghosts in your house? This crack PIG (paranormal investigation group) will tell you how. Thomas talks about a ghost tour he went on. Jesse tries to remember the names of every ghost hunter tv show ever made. Caity tells a bone-chilling tale that'll have you blowing your candles out in record time.

Comedian Tim Gray joins us this week for a real gut buster. Or would that be a fake gut buster? Only a well trained ear will be able to seperate the charlatan chortles from the genuine guffaws. Join the fellas as they trade street jokes, reveal the ultimate secret to comedy, and talk about something called "Beach Angels."

Special guest Frances Koncan, local playwright and actor, joins us this week to discuss how to win on the battlefield of love. As per usual, Jesse defends the core concept of the article as the others pick it apart. Thomas feels his "podcast voice" is on trial. Frances has a secret crush. Will it be revealed? Listen to find out the answer, as well as us saying "That's nice" far too many times.

Thomas and Jesse welcome special guest, improviser Tristen Foy, to the podcast! And hoo boy, this week we definitely hit our nonsense quotient and then some. Expect four quarters (periods?) full of scattershot football slang, wild stabs at sporty jargon, and an what an imagined reboot of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids would look like. Now go out there and intercept some points! Blue 42!

It's just Thomas and Jesse this week as we hit you with a fresh episode hot off the presses. Looking to get from point A to point B, while doing sick flips and neat stunts along the way? We've got you covered with all the parkour basics. We also explore Jesse's selective memory, Thomas goes deep with some U2 references, and we critique Hollywood's casting choice for the Prince of Persia movie.

In what is definitely our most reference-heavy episode yet, your three experts examine how to look cool while playing video games. It's a lot more complicated than it looks. Which games should you buy? What colours are "in?" Should you dye your hair? All these questions will be answered, letting you be "1-up" on the competition. See what I did there?

We're back with an episode we recorded before Luke went to Japan to undergo his super-secret ninja training. This time we examine exactly what it takes to draw the perfect treehouse. Thomas speculates about the dark origins of the article. Jesse warns of the dangers of illustrated weather. Luke shows off his knowledge of Chinese cinema.

Comedian Anjali Sandhu joins us this week as our special guest to lend her insight on how to be the "Family Clown." We talk about why not to plagiarize material, when you shouldn't talk trash about your cousin's choice in partners, and how fast Michael actually ran. And despite what we goof about on the podcast, Luke Cecelon is safe and sound in Japan.

This week it's a feast for the ears as the boys dissect the secrets to sneaking food into a movie theatre. There are several techniques, some very devious, and others, well, not so much. So grab a purse, cross your arms, and hollow out your baby dolls, 'cause it's time for a real caper!

Thomas, Luke, and Jesse delve deep into the realm of spoilers this week. It's a minefield out there, as the boys have to figure out how to talk about spoilers without they themselves spoiling anything. How DO you enjoy something that's been spoiled? Is it even possible? Which Narnia book is hands-down the worst? The answer, obviously, is... well, we wouldn't want to spoil it for you.

Thomas Toles, Jesse Bergen, and Luke Cecelon delve into the high-stakes world of espionage with this week's episode, "How To Be A Teenage Spy." They learn what the different roles in a spy team are, why you need a "hit list", and how being a spy is a lot like being a stand-up comedian.

Something Wiki This Way Comes is a comedy/educational podcast where three improvisers walk you through a WikiHow article, and then do some improvised scenes based on their discussion. Join Thomas Toles, Jesse Bergen, and Luke Cecelon as they answer the age old question: how are you REALLY supposed to eat pizza?