The Nonessential Podcast

This week, Ben reads a creepypasta that outlines why it may be a bad idea to follow clearly unhinged instructions you may come across while exploring old wells. Check out the anonymously authored 'Scribblings in the Well.'

Sometimes you want to get away from the place where everybody knows your name. This week, Steve reads a story about a man trapped in a kind of purgatory that... well, actually sounds pretty okay? Check out The Bar, by Alparos-Lilah.  Source: https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Bar  

This week, Ben reads the exciting conclusion, or is excited to conclude, the mystery thriller creepypasta Lost Episodes Can Be Found, originally written by Hopelessnightowl.  As the protagonist draws nearer to finding the disturbing verion of Aristicats that has haunted him since his youth (yes, you heard that right), the bigger picture starts to emerge. But you'll have to listen if you want to know how this story concludes.  ...or, I suppose, go read the original story, sourced below.  Source: Lost Episodes Can Be Found Again | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

This week, Ben takes us on the first leg of a journey with more legs than one. Probably two. But perhaps three? Regardless, this is leg one, and it's the start of a tale of a traumatic version of the already traumatic Aristicats, and the narrator's quest to find out where and how it came to be.  Check out Lost Episodes Can Be Found Again, part one. By HopelessNightOwl Source:  Lost Episodes Can Be Found Again | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

In this installment of the Nonessential Podcast, Steve reads the story of a soldier who's past is quite literally haunting him. Check out the anonymously written Only Following Orders. 

Hubert Wiliks was a man on a mission. Well, a few missions. But war metals and documenting birds couldn't compare with his plan to pilot a submarine under the north pole, using specially designed evil-villain drills and a giant reverse ice skate.  Check out episode 258: The Adventures of Hubert Wilkins. Sources: https://www.centennialofflight.net/essay/Explorers_Record_Setters_and_Daredevils/south_pole/EX20.html https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubert_Wilkins  https://archive.org/details/undernorthpolewi00wilk/page/n11/mode/2up  https://library.osu.edu/site/nautilus/exhibition-overview/  https://www.usni.org/magazines/proceedings/2005/november/oceans-1931-first-nautilus-north-pole-expedition https://www.amphilsoc.org/exhibits/nautilus/history.htm  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_O-12  https://web.archive.org/web/20100221234746/http://library.osu.edu/sites/exhibits/nautilus/arcticdive.html  https://web.archive.org/web/20081215020300/http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,742231,00.html

This week, Steve reads two firey stories from Alparos-Lilah: The Fortune Teller, and Echoes from the Ashes. Both touch on the themes of fire, death, and what comes next.  Sources: https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Fortune_Teller https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Echoes_from_the_Ashes  

This week, Ben reads 'The Butcher Family' by Night Spirit. It's a tale of woe, generational curses, and the best damned meat-cubes you ever did taste.  Source: The Butcher Family | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

After a short (medium) hiatus, we're back. And this week's show not only has legs, it has at least sixteen of them. Check out a creepy double feature as Steve reads TheBrexters 'Creepy Crawlies' and SpoopySparkle's 'The Crawly Man.'    Sources: Creepy Crawlies | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom The Crawly Man | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

On the brink of starvation and ruin, a pastor struggles with the absolute abandonment of his congregation. But then a mysterious man-thing shows up and offers him a deal he can't refuse. This week, Ben reads the piously creepy A Friend in Need by Dylon Winfield. 

This week's creepypasta is about a scientist who is afraid of trees. This might seem odd, but after reading 'Overgrowth' by Aphibacus192000, the real question becomes why would anybody think it's odd for this scientist to be afraid of trees?  Source: Overgrowth | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

This week, Ben puts on his Brave Boy Pants and delves into Reddit/Nosleep to retrieve a story so freightful in it's freighteningness that it took us an extra 24 hours to post. Check out 'My Wife Has Been Peeking at Me From Around Corners and Behind Furniture. It's Gone from Weird to Terrifying' by Maliagirl1314. Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/sva7z6/my_wife_has_been_peeking_at_me_from_around/  

This week, Steve (eventually) discusses one of the raddest (or radiated'est) cryptids (un)known to man: The Blackbird of Chernobyl. Is this creature a prohpet of doom, or does it cause it? Is it related to that Mothman fellow, or is it one in the same? Leave it to us to not get tot he bottom of any of those pressing questions.  Source: The Blackbird of Chernobyl | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

This week, Ben brings a supernatural tale so super it's natural to tell. A hit musician, locked alone in a cabin deep in the woods. Desperate to write that one last perfect song. But at what cost? Check out The Curse of the Ninth by Trycksterr.  Source:  The Curse of the Ninth | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom  

This week, Steve takes a look at a trio of murder-crimes with interesting twists behind the motives and methods of, well, murder-killing. Check it out. Source: https://listverse.com/2022/07/30/ten-real-life-plot-twists-in-criminal-cases/  

This week, Ben continues Pasta Noir: Dames, Slugs, and the Hatchetman, the saga started with last week's episode. In this installment, we learn more about the weirdly homophobic, yet subtuley homoerotic relationship between our hero and his young partner. Also there's a murder or something. Check it out Source: https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Pasta_Noir:_Dames,_Slugs_and_the_Hatchetman  

This week, Steve reads the wonderfuly (pasta) noir, Pasta Noir: Dames, Slugs, and the Hatchetman by BlackNumber1. Or, more specifically, he reads part 1 of the above-mentioned story because there's 11 parts, and to read all of them would be too much.  Source:  https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Pasta_Noir:_Dames,_Slugs_and_the_Hatchetman  

This week's episode brings you the story of a doctor who is willing to do anything it takes to do good. This, of course, means bad things. Ben read's The Good Doctor Locklear, written by Madam Macabre Source: Good Doctor Locklear | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

What happens when the friend you're expecting to meet turns up dead? A bunch of surprisingly non-chalant conversations, and an inexplicably shocking reveal, apparently. This week, Steve jumps off the supernatural horror train, and then gets run over by the crime horror train. Check out 'Crime Scene' by Triololo.  Source: Crime Scene Photos | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

This week, Ben decorates our metaphorical refridgerator with MacaroniArtZombeh's Mr Trenchfoot, immediately followed by the thrilling prequel, In the Trenches. That's right, it's a double-dose of Trenchfoot. Trenchfeet? Unbutton your pants (so you have room for the extra serving, not for pervy reasons), sit down, and enjoy.  Source:  Mr. Trenchfoot | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom In the Trenches | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

An (amateur?) investigative journalist inexplicably digs into what appears to be a randomly chosen, derilict former daycare. What their overly cooperative interviewees reveal is a bizzare cover-up of paranormal proportions.  This week, Steve bites off more than he can chew with Happy Sun Daycare by Chelsea.adams.524. Source: Happy Sun Daycare | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom  

To celebrate Halloween, this week we're doing the thing we do about 75% of the time already! Ben reads the creepiest of pastas that's ever been written regarding wallpaper blemishes, with A Tear in the Wallpaper by Umbrello.  Source: A Tear in the Wallpaper | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom  

They say you should never meet your heroes. This week, Steve reads 'The Beef Bandit' by Levi Athens, and proves once and for all that at least in this one specific fictional situation, that saying is correct.  Check out episode 241 before you steal your next slab of beef. ...Or maybe while you're stealing that sweet red meat?  Source: https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Beef_Bandit  

This week, Ben pulls a random story out of his hat, and hits the creepypasta jackpot with the superbly written 'Eric Floc's Sad Men,' by CynicalSloth. And for once, we're not being sarcastic when we say this is truly a great work of fiction. Or non-fiction? Source: Eric Floc's Sad Men | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

This week, Steve takes a look at a few of the local lore and legends of Idaho. These tales feature killer mountain dwarves, demonic fish-babies, and a plethora—yes, an entire plethora—of lake monsters. Sadly, they do not contain a single potato.  Sources: Legendary Idaho Monsters (gooutlocal.com) 6 Creepy Idaho Legends That Will Keep You Up at Night [PICS] (mix106radio.com) 7 Mysterious And Strange Idaho Urban Legends (onlyinyourstate.com) Bear Lake monster - Wikipedia  

This week, Ben takes a look at a handful of histories more unique duels. A decades-long feud between Gen. Francois Fournier and Pierre Dupont, the gentlewomanly disagreement between Lady Almeria and Mrs Elphinstone, and the pub-game gone bad between Melfant and Lenfant: These pairs took their arguments to the extreme (in oft hilarious ways.) Check it out.  Source: 10 Most Bizarre Duels in History (historycollection.com)

This week, Steve sits down to dissect the story of Issei Sagawa, the Japanese man who became well known for his obsession with cannibalism, which oddly, is a better thing to be known for than some of his other interests.  Sources: Issei Sagawa - Wikipedia Japanese Cannibal Who Got Away With Eating and Raping a Dutch Woman Is Dead (vice.com) Issei Sagawa | Murderpedia, the encyclopedia of murderers  

This week, Ben brings a pair of anonymously-written creepypasta featuring the dark secrets of Walt Disney and co. The first story is Suicidemouse.avi, the tale of lost animation clip that drives viewers to suicidal insanity.  Then, there's the story of Club 33. Walt's biggest secret that also is only losely guarded but then viciously snuffed out.  Sources: Suicidemouse.avi | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom Club 33: A Dark Secret | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

Karl Denke was a quiet, if troubled, kid who never seemed to let life get him down. As an adult, he became a successful butcher and leather goodsman, and a well liked member of the comunity. If that was that, Steve wouldn't be talking about him on this week's show. If you want to hear about Karl's dark side, grab your favorite brand of skinless pickled pork and settle in.  Sources: Karl Denke - Wikipedia Karl Denke, the Cannibal Killer of Ziębice | A 1920s True Crime Story (inyourpocket.com)  

A gifted kid raised in Brooklyn during the 1960's. Despite opportunities in more academic fields, Michael decided to pursue his dream of working in law enforcement. Once he made it on the NYPD, he realized he had a new dream, which seemed to contradict his original dream, unless you've ever heard anything about the NYPD. Check out episode 234.  Sources: How Michael Dowd Became The NYPD's Most Corrupt Cop (allthatsinteresting.com) Michael Dowd (police officer) - Wikipedia

This week, Steve tells the brief but corageous story of Zinaida Portnova. When nazis invaded the Soviet Union in 1941, the fifteen year old witnessed as the occupying force assaulted her grandmother and stole her cattle. In response, Zinaida had a hand in, or directly, killed over 100 nazi soldiers. Check out the show to find out how this multi-talented teen fought for family and country.  Source: Zinaida Portnova - Wikipedia Zina Portnova: Young Avenger and Real-Life Teenage Nazi Killer (hercampus.com)  

This week, Ben takes a look at one of history's lesser-known extreme problem-solvers, Velma Barfield. When her first husband died tragically, it was a, well tragedy. But about the time her 6th lover died tragically, people started to suspect something more than bad luck.  Sources: The Shocking Crimes Of Velma Barfield, The "Death Row Granny" (allthatsinteresting.com) Velma Barfield · Facing Controversy: Struggling with Capital Punishment in NC · UNC Libraries

This week, Steve saunters back over to the creepypasta well, and takes a long, cool sip of 'The Alien' by Cyanwrites. What happens when two cops are called to run perimeter on a mysterious government operation in the middle of the woods? You'll have to tune in to find out.  Source:  https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Alien 

This week Ben takes a look at three more creatures of Japanese mythology. This particular tour includes the not-so-uncommon tale of a seductive, vampric woman, a creature that seems too ridiculous to be threatening, and a really, really big foot. Check it out.  Sources: Nikusui – Yokai.com Yamajijii – Yokai.com Ashiarai yashiki – Yokai.com

Captain Henry Avery was known by many names. Or, at least four names. Henry Avery, Henry Every, Long John, Long Ben. In fact, his list of aliases may be longer than his pirate career. Check out this week's show to hear Steve badly butcher the story of what may have been the most successful pirate to ever set sail.  Sources: Henry Every - World History Encyclopedia Henry Every: The King of Pirates - YouTube Henry Every - Wikipedia

This week, Ben talks about Elegabalus: the ancient Roman emperor who had very little interest in being an ancient Roman emperor. He did, however, have an interest in carrying out his role as a high priest, a job he enjoyed thanks to the flamboyant, lavish lifestyle and constant religious orgies.  Sources:  Elagabalus: the cross-dressing religious fanatic who became emperor of Rome - History Skills Elagabalus: The Hated Roman Emperor Who Was Killed And Mutilated! | Ancient Origins (ancient-origins.net)

It was a good run, but this week, Steve goes back to the creepypasta well for inspiration, motivation, and pure entertainment. If you like police procedural existential horror dramas, check out A 911 Call Where Nothing Made Sense by My_Outlaw_. And if you don't like them, well, give us a listen anyway.  Source: A 911 Call Where Nothing Made Sense | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

This week, Ben talks about William Fly's breif tenure as the captian of a ship formerly known as the Elizabeth Snow. He may not have been the most qualified pirate to sale the Atlantic, but luckikly for William, pirates don't need resumés.  Sources: William Fly: A Short-lived Pirate of the 1700s - Geri Walton Nix's Mate: The Gibbeting Site of Pirate William Fly - Boston Pirate Trail - PocketSights The Pirate and the Gallows:An Atlantic Theater of Terror and Resistance | History Cooperative  

This week, Steve looks at the story of Dina Sanichar, who was quite possibly the inspiration for The Jungle Book's Mowgli, as well as a number of other "feral children." Apparently child abuse and neglect has been rampant for quite some time.  Sources: Dina Sanichar, The Real-Life 'Mowgli' Who Was Raised By Wolves (allthatsinteresting.com) Dina Sanichar - Wikipedia 8 Children Who Were Raised by Animals (treehugger.com) He was a wild child. Really wild | World news | The Guardian Amala and Kamala - Wikipedia  

This week, Ben chronicles the life of the deadliest man alive: John Keehan, aka Count Dante. Founder of the Black Dragons school of karate, and inventor of the Poison Hands technique, Count Dante was a man perhaps two decades ahead of his time. Loved by some, hated by many, he was the perfect heel, and both the pride and shame of Chicago.  Sources: The Life and Death of the Deadliest Man Alive - Chicago Reader Count Dante - Wikipedia

Black Tom was a small, manmade island off the coast of New Jersey. During the first World War, it served as a depot for munitions being sold overseas, until the whole place exploded. This week we take a look at what happened, and why it might be a bad idea to leave two million pounds of explosives largely unguarded and unsecured.  Sources: Black Tom Explosion: The Bombing That Rocked New York In 1916 (allthatsinteresting.com) Black Tom explosion - Wikipedia  

Dennis DePue was your average property assessor in the great state of Michigan. And though he may have had a humble lot in life, he did become kind of inspirational. And by that, we mean his horrific crime inspired the opening of the movie Jeepers Creepers. Check it out. Sources: The Killer Who Inspired Jeepers Creepers (truecrimeedition.com) Dennis DePue And The Real Story Of 'Jeepers Creepers' (allthatsinteresting.com)

In 1884, 17 year old Pittsburg resident Frank Lenz took a month of his accountant's salary and jumped headlong into the most bad-ass hobby of the time: Penny Farthing. Unfortunately, the march of time and mankind's slow but sure ability to eventually use common sense meant that Frank's dream of riding a big-wheeled bike around the world was unlikely to happen. So instead, he traded his ridiculous 55-lb monstrosity for a "safety bike" and took off west.  Would he make it home? No.  Sources: The Adventurous Life and Mysterious Death of Frank Lenz - JSTOR Daily Frank Lenz (cyclist) - Wikipedia Thomas Stevens (cyclist) - Wikipedia  

This week, Ben takes a gander-peek at one of Japanese mythology's hardest drinkin, root'n toot'n'est half-man half-demon's: Shuten Douji. Also included are Ibara Kidouji and the Junior-Douji, Kidomaru.  Sources: yokai.com/shutendouji/ yokai.com/ibarakidouji/ yokai.com/kidoumaru/

This week, Steve goes way, way back to the 1980's and 90's to take a look at two of NYPD's finest organized crime detectives who were, shockingly, also in organized crime. Stephen Caracappa and Louis Eppolito used their fortuitious position within the police department to hand info, and on numerous occasions, victims, over to New York's infamous Five Families.  Was it cunning deception that let them get away with it for nearly three decades, or was it something else?  Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Caracappa_and_Louis_Eppolito https://themobmuseum.org/blog/mob-cops-saga-still-reverberates-10-years-after-their-life-sentences/  

This week, Ben takes us on a trip to Georgia's infamous Lake Lanier. The man-made lake was built in 1956, but its waters couldn't cover up the area's tragic past. In fact, it only seems to have added to the aura of haunting sorrow, and otherworldly disquiet.  Sources: Inside Lake Lanier's Deaths And Why People Say It's Haunted (allthatsinteresting.com)Inside Lake Lanier's Deaths And Why People Say It's Haunted (allthatsinteresting.com) Lake Lanier: A Georgia lake's deadly history has some people seeing ghosts | CNN

By the time a fella has spent six years on the force, you'd think he had seen it all. However, the protagonist in this week's story quickly realizes that this is one thing he has not actually seen. Get cozy, and preferably drunk, as Steve reads Six Years a Cop, But I've Never Seen Anything Like This by JPScrawlings.  Source: Six Years as a Cop, But I've Never Seen Anything Like This | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

This week, Ben takes a look at a creepypasta that almost reads as one of our true-crime episodes. A creepy cult? Kidnappings? Murderdeath? It has it all. Check out 'Another Kind of Evil' originally written by Killahawke1.  Source: Another Kind of Evil | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

This week Steve reads a story that he anonymously wrote himself, about an unlucky mountain loaner and his outhouse. Check out the mystery crime drama, 'A Plop in the Night.'  

After a three-week hiatus, the show returns. Was it worth the wait? Don't asnwer that. This week, Ben reads the wolf-filled horror-thriller And the Autumn Moon is Bright by Shadowswimmer77. It's a howling good read, or some other, better pun.  Source: And the Autumn Moon Is Bright | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom

This week, Steve does his best to ruin an otherwise competant creepypasta about some nerd kid and his water soluble crank of a grandpa. If nothing else, you get to hear Steve's terrible voicework as he reads Chambergambit's Before it Rains. Source: Before It Rains | Creepypasta Wiki | Fandom