The Three Wisemen of Divorce: Money, Psych & Law

On this episode of The Three Wisemen of Divorce, our experts tackle a difficult but important topic: divorce during a financial crisis. Drawing on their extensive experience working with clients during periods of economic upheaval, the Wisemen share valuable insights and practical tips for navigating divorce decisions when finances are at their most precarious. From the lessons learned from the failure of Silicon Bank to strategies for protecting your assets during inflation, this episode is a must-listen for anyone going through a divorce during a financial crisis. Join us and learn from the divorce experts: Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney. *Certified Specialist – Family Law The State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization.The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney. © 2023 Weber Dispute Resolution. All rights reserved.

This week The Three Wisemen of Divorce sit down with forensic psychologist and family consultant in complex family law cases, Robert A. Simon, Ph.D.  If you are involved in a divorce with kids, especially litigation, you may have to endure a forensic custody evaluation.  Dr. Simon provides his thoughts and insights about how to prepare for and navigate the forensic custody evaluation and how adversarial family law litigation often causes unintentional and unnecessary damage to kids.The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney. © 2023 Weber Dispute Resolution. All rights reserved.

With the New Year come new resolutions and plans for the upcoming year.  But what if your New Year's resolution is to get a divorce?  Believe it or not, January is known as "divorce season" in the family law business because so many people decide to call it quits after the holidays.Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, talk about divorce in the New Year and things to think about before you take the plunge.*Certified Specialist - Family LawThe State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization

The first holidays after a divorce can be tough.  We call it the "Year of Firsts."  It's the first Christmas, Passover, Birthday, Fourth of July, and even Super Bowl Sunday while separated.  Questions abound such as:How are the holidays split in a divorce?What will Christmas after divorce be like?Should divorced parents spend holidays together?Surviving the holidays after divorce can be challenging.  Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss legal, financial and emotional aspects of the first holidays after divorce.*Certified Specialist - Family LawThe State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization

Sometimes a divorce case gets stuck because the professionals or the clients have not taken the time to prepare the case to be ready to settle.  Impasse is sometimes nothing more than not having the facts or the emotions ready to find a solution.  Learn what it takes to achieve "settlement readiness".

 In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, M.A., MFT, CST, Psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss why the first two weeks of any divorce is the most dangerous time.  Learn what kinds of situations can make this the most dangerous time and learn strategies for setting boundaries and minimizing conflict.

What should we tell the kids?  How much information should we share?  How do we have this conversation?  In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss what should and should not be shared with your children about the divorce.

We've seen it time and again in divorce cases.  When adultery happens, sometimes the adulterer has no clue what kind of pain they are causing.  It's almost like folks have blinders.  While most states have "no-fault" divorce, the pain of an affair can adversely affect agreement readiness during divorce negations whether courts recognizes fault or not.  In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss the psychology and emotional ramifications of adultery on divorce negotiations.

Sometimes during a divorce mediation someone makes a proposal that is so off-base it is insulting.  The temptation is to get angry, yell or even storm out of the room.  But maybe there is a better approach.  In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss what happens when someone makes a crazy or even insulting proposal during a divorce negotiation.

The Three Wisemen of Divorce discuss the strange COVID influenced real estate market and how it impacts the decisions people in their divorce.  Wisemen, financial divorce advisor Mark Hill, CFP, CDFA, psychologist Scott Weiner, J.D., Ph.D. and attorney Shawn Weber, CLS-F chat with realtor and Weber Dispute Resolution mediator Robert Flynn, J.D., SRES.  For more information about Robert Flynn's real estate business, visit https://fairwayresidential.com/agents/robert-flynn/.  To inquire about his mediation practice work with Weber Dispute Resolution, visit https://weberdisputeresolution.com/our-mediators/.

So, you survived the process of divorcing your ex.  Now you want to remarry.  How do you avoid repeating same mistakes you made the first time around?   In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss how to start the next relationship on the right foot. 

Financial Disclosures are necessary in every divorce.  While the process can be tedious, divorcing parties need to do the financial disclosures truthfully and thoroughly.  We know that money can mean a lot of different things to different people.    In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, chat about the importance of the financial disclosures and the emotional and legal challenges they raise.

It's very easy to get stuck in a certain way of approaching things, especially during the challenges of a divorce negotiation.  In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss how creative thinking by "thinking outside the box" can lead to better and happier outcomes.

Originally recorded on March 8, 2023, the Three Wisemen sit down with Massachusetts Attorney and Mediator Beth Aarons, JD, MSW to discuss the multi-dimensional aspects of the marital home and how it hits the emotional, legal and financial aspects of a divorce.  The Three Wisemen of Divorce are Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.

Need to get a prenup?  What about a postnuptial agreement after your already married?   Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss why formal marital agreements can be good and why pillow talk agreements don't count.  

Most jurisdictions in the United States embrace the concept of  so-called "no-fault divorce".  It makes sense for the Court.  No Judge wants to involve themselves in deciding who is a fault when a marriage fails.  It's a recipe for a soap opera reality TV proceeding.  So the divorce for "irreconcilable differences" often makes the most sense.  But some folks can't walk away from the idea of blaming someone for the demise of the marriage.  This week, the Three Wisemen of Divorce discuss what to do when a party to a divorce insists on assigning blame even in the no-fault divorce.   Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, talk it out. 

Sometimes Valentine's Day, a day supposedly to express love, can be the very catalyst that leads to the final decision to divorce.  Sometimes these annual celebrations become triggering to people.  The Three Wisemen of Divorce discuss the post-Valentine's Day divorce surge and the relationship psychology that seem to attend such important days.  Is it the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back?  The final break in the dike? Divorce Wisemen   Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, talk it out.

It is rare that both spouses mutually agreed that a divorce should happen.  Usually, there is a "leavor" and a "leavee".  What do you do if you want a divorce and the other person doesn't want to "grant" the divorce?  This week, Divorce Wisemen   Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss letting the myriad of issues that occur when one spouse wants out and the other won't leave.

It's that time of the year for New Year's Resolutions.  When folks are facing marital problems, they often include a divorce in their plans for the New Year.  In this time of rebooting, how can people approach these changes?   From a menu ranging from better co-parenting, setting boundaries and new financial choices, what other resolutions might the newly separated consider ?   Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss letting go of the old and ringing in the New Year with a new outlook.

Divorce can wreak havoc on family holiday traditions.  But divorcing parents have the ability to make holidays less painful and a nice memory for their children.  While the experience may not be a Norman Rockwell postcard, it can be positive if co-parents take the right steps.   Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss how separated parents can arrange their co-parenting and custody arrangements during the holidays in a way that can make the holidays a good experience for the kids.

Divorce is heartbreaking and emotionally tough.  During this Thanksgiving holiday, it may be difficult to think about being thankful during such a challenging time.  But we have learned that an attitude of gratitude in spite of the challenges can make a big difference.   Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, tackle this wisdom of finding a silver lining even when there are dark storm clouds.

Two topics this week.  First, what is the best approach to talking to your kids about the breakup?  We talk about how to get through that difficult conversation.  Next, and surprisingly related, we talk about how to juggle the holidays during and after the divorce.    Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, talk it out.

It's elections season.  We are in the middle of some of the most stressful times of a generation.  Between politics, pandemics, and general paranoia, there is a lot on people's minds.  What do folks do when divorce happens in these troubled times.   Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss how current events are affecting families grappling with the challenging transitions of divorce.

Like dog breeds, people have different personality types.  Some are more easy going than others.  Some struggle to get along with others.  The personality types in the marriage has a huge impact on how the divorce will go.  The Three Wisemen of Divorce, Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, welcome nationally recognized personality expert Dr. Richard Levak to discuss the profound effect personality type has on the divorce along with helpful tips for how to manage different and sometimes difficult personalities.Dr. Levak aside from his excellent private practice has been a consultant to reality television programs including Survivor, Big Brother, Amazing Race, Apprenctice and others.  Dr. Levak was able to use his expertise in this role to make highly accurate predictions about people's behavior based on personality assessment to assist producers in assembling costs for these popular programs in a way that captured America's interest.Dr. Levak also serves as a exert witness in forensic cases and has a thriving specialty in organizational consulting, assisting businesses with executive hiring, development and team building.

A divorce case with an honest-to-goodness narcissist, borderline, or antisocial personality disorder can be a recipe for a super nasty experience.  You can't interact with a High Conflict Personality (HCP) like you would with other folks.  In their minds, everything is somebody else's fault and they live for a fight.  They are blamers, hotheads, narcissists and antagonists. It requires a special skill to navigate cases with a High Conflict Personality.In this episode, we welcome one of the world's foremost authorities on dealing with High Conflict Personalities and their costly disputes, Bill Eddy, JD, LCSW,  Co-founder of the High Conflict Institute.  Author of excellent books like Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder,  It's All Your Fault!, and 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life, Bill shares his three theories of the High Conflict Case and gives us a sneak preview of his groundbreaking upcoming book: BIFF™ for CoParent Communication:  Your Guide to Difficult CoParent Texts, Emails and Social Media Posts. 

Who's angry?  It seems that in divorce, anger is very prevalent.  But anger is a secondary emotion following hurt.  While anger is natural, it can get in the way of thinking clearly and making good decisions.    Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss the effect rage can have on a divorce case and strategies people can use to control it.

This week we have an enriching discussion with Collaborative Divorce icon Nancy J. Ross, LCSW.  Nancy pioneered the concept of the Collaborative Divorce Coach in California at the beginning of the Collaborative Divorce movement.  Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, chat with Nancy about how a divorce coach can help with the difficult emotions of divorce and how the current events such as Covid-19 and increased societal polarization make the Collaborative Divorce Coach a crucial party of your divorce team.

There's more than one way to end a marriage.  The Three Wisemen of Divorce discuss the different legal ways to end a relationship to include divorce, legal separation, nullity, post-marital agreements and Marvin actions.  Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney talk over the pros and cons of each.

Divorce rates are higher since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic.  Politics are causing polarization in communities and within families. Times are crazy these days.  How do difficult times affect divorce?  Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss how stress from current events are affecting families struggling with divorce.

The decision of HOW you divorce is almost as important as the decision TO divorce.  Sometimes it can be very confusing to decide between the many out-of-court processes available.  Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss the differences between Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce and what factors a person should consider when deciding between the two options.

We've talked a lot about how to make your divorce more smooth and peaceful.  But this week, the Three Wisemen of Divorce share with you the guaranteed ways to have a completely miserable divorce. Mark Hill, CFP, CDFA, Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D., and Shawn Weber, JD, CLS-F.

Stu had so much to say, we had to break his interview into two parts! We were thrilled that Stu Webb came to join us on the Three Wisemen of Divorce.  The Grandfather of Collaborative Divorce, Stu is probably the original and wisest Wiseman of all! A Zen Buddhist and Jazz Musician, Stu brings characteristics you wouldn't expect in a lawyer.  Stu has mastered the understanding of using love, kindness, and collaboration to bring about better legal outcomes.  A veteran matrimonial lawyer in 1990, Stu had the audacity to leave litigation to try something new.  He wrote a now-famous letter to a Justice of the Minnesota Supreme Court describing his thinking on a new concept, Collaborative Law, where attorneys would agree to work on a case collaboratively towards settlement and pledging to withdraw from the case if litigation became inevitable.  That letter together with Stu's amazing spirit and shining example sparked a worldwide movement for Collaborative Practice.Listen to Part 2 of our two-part series.  Part 1 is the episode from last week.  If you haven't already, be sure to give it a listen.

We were thrilled that Stu Webb came to join us on the Three Wisemen of Divorce.  The Grandfather of Collaborative Divorce, Stu is probably the original and wisest Wiseman of all! A Zen Buddhist and Jazz Musician, Stu brings characteristics you wouldn't expect in a lawyer.  Stu has mastered the understanding of using love, kindness, and collaboration to bring about better legal outcomes.  A veteran matrimonial lawyer in 1990, Stu had the audacity to leave litigation to try something new.  He wrote a now-famous letter to a Justice of the Minnesota Supreme Court describing his thinking on a new concept, Collaborative Law, where attorneys would agree to work on a case collaboratively towards settlement and pledging to withdraw from the case if litigation became inevitable.  That letter together with Stu's amazing spirit and shining example sparked a worldwide movement for Collaborative Practice.Listen to Part 1 of our two-part series.  Tune in next week for Part 2.

Divorce, Custody and Visitation during the COVID-19 pandemic present new challenges for parents when the kids go back to school.  What if parents can't agree on what is safe social distancing? What if the parents can't agree on the school or extracurricular activities?  This week The Three Wisemen of Divorce tackle these and other difficult conversations.Presented by Financial Divorce Consultant Mark Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Psychologist Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D. and Attorney and Mediator Shawn Weber, CLS-F.

This week, the Three Wisemen of Divorce discuss the Robert Frost poem, "Mending Wall," and apply an interpretation to a divorce.  Frost writes, "Good fences make good neighbors."  What kinds of boundaries are important in your divorce?  What sort of "fences" and "walls" are important to maintain when dealing with separation, child custody, visitation, division of finances, alimony or child support?  Sit down with a nice cup of tea, and let's talk about it.Presented by Financial Divorce Consultant Mark Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Psychologist Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D. and Attorney and Mediator Shawn Weber, CLS-F.

Jaye-Jo Portanova, M.D. joins the Three Wisemen of Divorce as a special guest this week to discuss how finding a new way to listen and to communicate during your divorce is essential for life during and after your divorce.  Jaye-Jo shares her personal story finding new ways to hear and listen as she raised a deaf child who has now grown to be a successful medical student.  As an experienced adult and child psychiatrist specializing in mediation, co-parenting counseling, collaborative law, attorney/client consultation, and family therapy, Jaye-Jo brings a lot to the table for families in the midst of a divorce or separation.  Learn more about Jaye-jo Portanova, M.D. at www.jayejoportanovamd.com.Presented by Financial Divorce Consultant Mark Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Psychologist Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D. and Attorney and Mediator Shawn Weber, CLS-F.

What does a "victory" in divorce look like?  Is it the person who gets the kids?  the money?  Can you even define victory in divorce?  The Three Wisemen of Divorce, Shawn Weber, CLS-F, Mark Hill, CFP, CDFA and Scott Weiner, J.D., Ph.D take a crack at it.  Give it a listen and tell us what you think.Presented by Financial Divorce Consultant Mark Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Psychologist Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D. and Attorney and Mediator Shawn Weber, CLS-F.

Custody and coparenting during the summer can be challenging enough.  Add COVID-19 to the mix and it gets really hard.  What happens if the co-parents disagree about coronavirus safety precautions?  Do parents agree on whether camps or sports are safe?  Is a co-parent, a child or a new significant other in a high-risk group and how will that impact visitation?  Sit down with Mark Hill, CFP, CDFA, Scott Weiner, JD, Ph.D. and Shawn Weber, Attorney and Mediator as they discuss the complexities of custody and visitation during the COVID-19 pandemic.Presented by Financial Divorce Consultant Mark Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Psychologist Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D. and Attorney and Mediator Shawn Weber, CLS-F.

We're in uncertain times.  In a time of a shaky economy, housing prices, coronavirus, stay-at-home orders, unemployment and political unrest (to name a few), it can be a difficult time to decide whether the timing is right for a divorce. The Three Wisemen of Divorce discuss different factors people should consider when deciding whether it is the best time or the worst time to file for divorce.Presented by Financial Divorce Consultant Mark Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Psychologist Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D. and Attorney and Mediator Shawn Weber, CLS-F.

People get divorced for a reason.  It's not because things are all butterflies, rainbows and fairy dust.  There's anger, hurt, pain, fear, and betrayal just to name a few of the difficult emotions associated with a separation.  The temptation is to stay angry, hold a grudge and even to seek vengeance.  But we've learned that taking the high road can make the experience better.  While it's not so easy to just snap your fingers and make the pain go away, you can make it through your divorce journey without making it worse.Presented by Financial Divorce Consultant Mark Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Psychologist Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D. and Attorney and Mediator Shawn Weber, CLS-F.

Word gets out that there is a divorce in the works.  Well-intentioned friends and family come out of the woodwork to offer advice.  What could go wrong?  The road to hell is well-paved with good intentions.  So be careful where you get your advice and how much you involve your friends.  Financial Divorce Consultant Mark Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Psychologist Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D. and Attorney and Mediator Shawn Weber, CLS-F discuss how to handle the firehose of unsolicited advice.

Think the divorce means the end of your family?  Think again.  Relationships and duties to children, ex-spouses, and even in-laws go on for the rest of your life.  This week we discuss the various aspects of your family relationships that will continue after divorce and how those relationships are affected by money, psych and law.  Presented by Financial Divorce Consultant Mark Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Psychologist Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D. and Attorney and Mediator Shawn Weber, CLS-F.

Are you stuck on the Divorce Escalator?  So many people get caught up in a litigated process for their divorce.  But what happens when the attorneys and the "system" takes control of your case?  You become a passenger and lose all control.  Tune in with Financial Divorce Consultant Mark Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Psychologist Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D. and Attorney and Mediator Shawn Weber, CLS-F for a discussion about the horrors of the divorce escalator and how to get off by taking control of your case.

The Courts are totally clogged!  In San Diego County alone, there are 9,042 cases that will need to be rescheduled.  If you are stuck in continuance hell because of COVID-19, consider no-court options to keep your case moving.Presented by Financial Divorce Consultant Mark Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Psychologist Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D. and Attorney and Mediator Shawn Weber, CLS-F.

Sit back and enjoy an informal and informative conversation with Mark Hill, CFP, CDFA, Scott Weiner, Ph.D., JD, and Shawn Weber, JD, CLS-F as they discuss the Cornoavirus pandemic's effect on divorce.