Podcasts about high conflict divorce

If you've been ordered into parenting coordination, or you're wondering whether a parenting coordinator could help your high-conflict custody case, this conversation is for you.Lisa sits down with Nicole Sodoma, a family law attorney with 26 years of experience, founding partner of Sodoma Law (seven locations across the Carolinas), and a practicing parenting coordinator since 2005. What makes Nicole's perspective uniquely powerful is that she's not just an expert — she's a targeted parent who has personally worked with three different parenting coordinators since her own separation in 2019. She knows this process from every angle.Together, they break down what a parenting coordinator actually does, who gets one (and why), what the most common and costly mistakes parents make are, and the practical communication and documentation strategies that can help you stop making them — starting today.Whether your parenting coordinator seems to be favoring your ex, you're confused about what decisions they can and can't make, or you're just trying to understand how to use this process strategically, Nicole gives you a clear, honest roadmap.

What happens when a parenting plan leaves too much room for interpretation?In this episode, we're talking about one of the biggest mistakes survivors make during divorce and custody negotiations: agreeing to vague parenting plans that unintentionally create openings for ongoing manipulation, conflict, and coercive control.I'm joined by Cat Climaco to discuss why detailed, clearly written parenting plans matter so much in high-conflict and abusive co-parenting situations. We break down some of the most common loopholes narcissistic or controlling co-parents exploit, including pick-up and drop-off logistics, extracurricular activities, communication expectations, and what happens when parents with joint decision-making reach an impasse.We also talk about how to advocate for a more specific parenting plan when attorneys or mediators push back and prefer “standard” or cookie-cutter agreements.If you're currently negotiating a parenting plan or struggling with one that feels impossible to navigate, this episode will help you understand why clarity and specificity matter far more than most people realize.In This Episode We Discuss:Common parenting plan loopholesWhy vague agreements create more conflictDecision-making impasse clausesExtracurricular and exchange challengesAdvocating for specificity with attorneys About Cat: Cat Climaco, Founder of Peaceful Presence Divorce Coaching, is a nationally certified High-Conflict Divorce, Custody, and Co-Parenting Coach, mediator, DASH Risk Assessor, and trauma-informed Colorado Victim's Advocate who specializes in helping protective parents navigate complex, high-conflict family court cases to achieve greater peace and safety in life after divorce. Cat blends professional expertise with lived experience to support parents facing coercive control, post-separation abuse, abusive co-parenting, and cases involving children with additional emotional or developmental needs. Connect w/ Cat: https://www.peacefulpresencedivorcecoaching.comhttps://www.instagram.com/peacefulpresencedivorcecoach/https://www.facebook.com/peacefulpresencedivorcecoaching/https://www.linkedin.com/in/catclimaco/https://www.youtube.com/@PeacefulPresenceDivorceCoachhttps://www.peacefulpresencedivorcecoaching.com/workshops-documentationJoin the Rising Beyond Community today. Learn more at https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/membership.htmlPlease leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpcIf you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/Where to find more from Rising Beyond:Rising Beyond FacebookRising Beyond LinkedInRising Beyond Pinterest If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7Enjoy some of our freebies!Choosing Your Battles FreebieCanned Responses FreebieMic Drop Moments Freebie...

What does a Guardian Ad Litem really think when a 10-year-old says they want 50/50 custody?Crystal Wright has heard it hundreds of times — and she can tell instantly when a child has been coached. As a family law attorney AND a working GAL in Atlanta, Georgia, Crystal is one of the rare practitioners who has seen the custody system from every angle: as the attorney fighting for clients, as the neutral investigator protecting children, and as the professional who has had exactly one parent incarcerated for defying her court orders.In this conversation, Crystal joins Lisa Johnson to unpack one of the most contentious questions in family law: when should a child's voice be allowed to decide their custody arrangement — and when should it be completely disregarded?The answer, Crystal says, has nothing to do with how articulate or advanced your child is. It has everything to do with whether the language they're using sounds like an actual child — or like someone's lawyer.What You'll Learn in This Episode:✅ How GALs instantly detect when a child has been coached — and what specific language is a dead giveaway✅ Why "I want 50/50 custody" coming from a 10-year-old should raise immediate red flags✅ What the 'borrowed scenarios' phenomenon looks like in a real investigation✅ How Crystal visits kids at their schools — without telling the parents — and why she always gets new information✅ The real impact on children when they're put in the middle: clinical depression, self-harm, 17-year-olds calling their GAL crying at 10pm✅ At what ages (11 and 14 in Georgia) a child's preference becomes legally relevant — and why that still doesn't mean they get to choose✅ The non-negotiable case for reunification therapy — and what Crystal does to parents who try to block it✅ How to find a qualified GAL and what to look for in a mental health expert for an older, refusing child✅ What to do when your child won't see you: Crystal's direct advice to rejected parents⏱️ Timestamps:00:00 — Introduction: How Lisa and Crystal met at the Bridging the Gap conference in London01:45 — How a GAL tells the difference: coached child vs. genuine preference04:30 — Crystal's background: family law attorney, boutique firm in Atlanta, and why she loves GAL work06:00 — Advanced children vs. coached children: why intelligence isn't the issue08:15 — "I want 50/50" — why that phrase signals coaching immediately10:00 — Age and preference in Georgia: the affidavit of election at 11, determinative weight at 1413:30 — Why Crystal stopped having children sign affidavits of election15:45 — The 17-year-old: even at near-adulthood, best interest analysis still controls18:00 — Reaction to New Jersey's ruling: what does it mean for children's long-term wellbeing?21:00 — Why Crystal visits children at their schools — without telling parents — and what she learns23:30 — Children and truth-telling: parroting, fawning, and protecting a parent26:00 — Loyalty conflicts: the real emotional impact on children stuck in the middle29:00 — Clinical depression, self-harm, and older kids calling Crystal crying at 10pm32:00 — Older children refusing contact: how to make the case for intervention to the court35:00 — Reunification therapy: Crystal has never been denied an order for it — and here's why38:30 — What happens to parents who block reunification therapy: contempt motions and incarceration41:00 — What kind of expert witness to bring in for an older refusing child43:30 — False allegations and fake documents: how they're handled in investigation46:00 — How to find a good GAL and what qualifications actually matter48:30 — How to prepare your child for a GAL interview (and what NOT to say)51:00 — Advice for rejected parents: don't give up, keep reaching out, send birthday gifts54:00 — Memory, photographs, and why fighting for a child who doesn't want you right now still matters56:30 — How to find Crystal Wright and closing remarks

He hadn't heard from one of his four daughters in four years. Then she reached out. And the first thing she said changed everything.Jon McKenzie, founder of @malevictimsoffemalenarcissists (IG) and a returning BTGO guest, joins Lisa to share something that happened just two weeks before this recording: his adult daughter reached out after four years of complete silence, asked to rebuild their relationship, and opened with the words every alienated parent needs to hear: "I'm very sorry for the words I said. My words were very hurtful and disrespectful."If you've been told to "just wait," or you're wondering whether your adult children will ever come back, this conversation is the living proof that they can. And it gives you a philosophy and a framework for surviving the wait.IN THIS CONVERSATION:The two types of parental alienation — legally imposed separation vs. the quiet, psychological erosion that's often more devastatingWhy Jon chose not to divorce until his kids were out of high school — and whether, looking back, that was the right callThe prodigal son framework: how Jon made peace with not chasing his children — and what 'waiting with open arms' actually costs a parent emotionallyWhat his daughter said the moment she reached out — and why Jon didn't pull his punches in their first conversationHow reconciliation with one adult child is opening a possible door with a second — while a third may be permanently enmeshed with their motherWhy Jon refused to badmouth his ex to his children — even after years of alienation — and why he believes that was the single most important thing he didWhat he says to the client who says: 'If one more person tells me the kids will just figure it out, I'm going to lose my mind'GUEST INFO:Jon McKenzieMale Victims of Female Narcissistshttps://malevictimsoffemalenarcissists.comJon's Instagram: @malevictimsoffemalenarcissists

Facing a negotiation with your high-conflict ex can feel like showing up to a battle already defeated — especially when they have more money, more confidence, or a better attorney. But corporate negotiation expert Lynn Price says the power imbalance you're feeling may be less real than you think. What IS real is whether you make the ask.Lynn spent 25 years as in-house corporate counsel and completed over 11,000 negotiations. In this conversation with Lisa Johnson, she breaks down her Three Rs Framework — Ready, Relatable, and Reasonable — and explains exactly how to apply it when you're co-parenting with someone determined to make your life miserable.In this episode, you'll learn:- The one mindset shift that lets you make the ask even when you feel powerless- How to use the 'have to haves / helpful haves / hopeful haves' system to walk into mediation with a clear, strategic game plan- Why you must stop talking after you make a request — and how to handle the silence- The acting technique that protects your most important priorities (your ex will never see it coming)- How to build enough rapport with a difficult person to actually move the negotiation forward- A general rule from a retired army general that will keep you out of trouble in every difficult conversation- Why practicing out loud — even to your mirror or your dog — can change how you show up in mediation- How to use AI to prepare for your next difficult conversation with your co-parentLisa and Lynn also explore the difference between negotiation and mediation, the psychology of letting the other side 'win' things that don't actually matter, and why knowing your 'walk-away' point before you sit down is one of the most powerful moves you can make.This isn't just theory — Lynn spent nearly 14 years in the construction industry, where her company had no leverage, going up against huge players and still getting what they needed. Her approach works on everyone from Fortune 500 executives to toxic co-parents. And it can work for you.If you're heading into custody mediation, a co-parenting negotiation, or just trying to get your ex to switch a weekend, this conversation will change how you approach it.About Lynn Price:Lynn Price is a negotiation speaker, trainer, and attorney. She spent over 25 years as in-house corporate counsel, completing more than 11,000 negotiations.Website: lynnpriceconsulting.comBook: 'Negotiate It!' on Amazon

High-conflict divorce can feel endless, emotionally exhausting, and financially devastating, especially later in life. In Episode 96, Andrew Hatherley welcomes Karen McMahon, high-conflict divorce strategist, to explore emotional regulation, post-traumatic growth, adult children, high-conflict personalities, and why healing—not just the legal settlement—is the true path to freedom after divorce.  Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

What does a family court judge actually think when you walk through those courtroom doors?If you have ever walked out of a hearing asking "why did the judge do THAT?" — this conversation is for you.Peggy Walsh spent 18 years as a family court judge — after first building her career representing parents, caregivers, and children as a family law attorney. Then she took off her robe. Not because she stopped caring, but because she believed that the people who love a child should be the ones making decisions for that child — not a stranger, however well-intentioned, in a black robe.Today, Peggy works as a co-parenting coach, helping parents stay out of court altogether — or, when court is unavoidable, understand exactly what to expect and how to show up effectively.In this conversation, Lisa and Peggy go deep on what family court actually looks like from the inside — and what most attorneys never tell their clients before they walk into that hearing.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS INTERVIEW:✅ Why judges assume BOTH parents are high conflict — and how that shapes everything they observe✅ What judges really notice about demeanor (and why the person blurting things out in court isn't necessarily the problem outside of court)✅ The one question you should always ask your attorney before your first court appearance — and why most attorneys forget to answer it✅ What "forced resolution" vs. "compromised resolution" actually means — and why Peggy always preferred to help parents reach their own agreements✅ The specific things only you know about your family that no judge ever could — and why that makes negotiated parenting plans almost always better✅ What status conferences are, why Peggy loved using them, and how they can reduce conflict over time✅ Why appearing to "want it all your way" in front of a judge rarely ends well — and what to do instead✅ How to think about co-parenting communication as modeling behavior for your children — not just logistics management✅ Why your child hears your tone of voice even when they are upstairs and cannot hear your words✅ What it looks like to stop making your ex the "star of your show" — and why that shift changes everythingTHIS INTERVIEW IS ESSENTIAL IF YOU:- Are going to court and do not know what to expect- Are frustrated by a custody decision you do not understand- Are trying to build a parenting plan and wondering whether to negotiate or let the judge decide- Keep getting pulled back to court by a high-conflict co-parent- Want to understand what judges actually value — not what TV court dramas portray- Are ready to shift from reactive victim to proactive problem-solver in your caseABOUT PEGGY WALSH:Peggy Walsh is a retired family court judge who served for 18 years, primarily handling divorce and family law matters. Prior to her time on the bench, she represented parents, caregivers, and children as a family law attorney. She is now a co-parenting coach, helping parents navigate high-conflict situations, create workable parenting plans, and stay out of court whenever possible.Connect with Peggy Walsh: https://peggywalsh.com/

Jonathan Merel runs a mid-sized family law firm built around high-conflict divorce. In this episode, he talks about the kinds of cases his firm takes on, how he sets strategy across a team of lawyers, and what shifted when he moved from full-time litigator to running the business. He also reflects on the emotional weight of family law, why it draws certain practitioners and burns out others, and how he separates emotion from legal judgment. We also hear from Kristina Lindsay, the firm's in-house divorce coach. With a background in domestic violence advocacy, she helps clients navigate trauma, safety, and conflict, operating under the firm's attorney-client privilege. Together, they show how legal strategy and emotional support can work side by side and shape the outcome of a case. Jonathan is a graduate of Chicago-Kent College of Law.This episode is hosted by Kyle McEntee.Mentioned in this episode:Learn more about Juno and private student loansAccess LawHub today!Learn more about Juno and private student loansLearn more about Haynes Boone LLP

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we revisit the topic of agunot by talking to Sarah Nissel and Yona Elishis, who run the Jewish Divorce Assistance Center of Los Angeles.We're also joined by Keshet Starr, CEO of Shalom Task Force. In this episode we discuss:How do potentially amicable divorces escalate to being high-conflict? Why does adversarial divorce seem to be increasingly common in the Jewish community?  What do experts in the area of agunot think of the related social-media movements? Tune in to hear a conversation about the integrity of our marriages in the Jewish community. Interview begins at 15:16.Keshet Starr joins at 53:20. Sarah M. Nissel is the founding Executive Director of the Jewish Divorce Assistance Center and a visiting professor of law and religion at Pepperdine Caruso school of law, where she leads the Faith & Family Mediation Clinic. A Yale and NYU Law graduate, she previously worked in white-collar and complex litigation, served at the Innocence Project, and now lives in Los Angeles with her husband and four children.Yona Elishis is a family law mediator and Adjunct Clinical Professor at Pepperdine Caruso School of Law, where she teaches in the Faith & Family Mediation Clinic in partnership with the Jewish Divorce Assistance Center of Los Angeles (JDAC). Trained at Osgoode Hall Law School, Columbia Law School, and New York University School of Law, she previously practiced family and corporate law in Toronto and New York and now lives in Los Angeles with her husband and five children.Keshet Starr is the CEO of Shalom Task Force, which works to combat and prevent domestic abuse in the Jewish community. Previously, she led the Organization for the Resolution of Agunot. She lives in Hillside, New Jersey, with her family. References:Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle BurdenSee What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Violence by Jess HillMarriage Story (2019)Gett (2014)Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

Is your parenting plan actually protecting your children — or creating more conflict?High conflict divorce is about far more than legal paperwork and court appearances. When toxic dynamics, emotional manipulation, and parenting disputes enter the picture, many moms feel overwhelmed trying to protect their children while rebuilding their own lives. In this episode, Heather Quick and divorce coach Samantha Boss break down the strategies women need to navigate high conflict divorce with more clarity, confidence, and peace.Learn why many parenting plans fail and what makes one truly effective in high conflict situationsDiscover practical ways to protect your children from toxic divorce dynamicsUnderstand how to rebuild confidence and create a healthier future after divorceTune in now to learn the practical strategies that can help you protect your peace, support your children, and move forward stronger after high conflict divorce!Interested in working with us? Fill out this form here to get started.Not quite ready? Interact with us on socials! OR get all of your questions answered by taking our online course: Divorce 101!Divorce 101 Online Course- https://heather-quick.mykajabi.com/divorce-101Linktree- https://linktr.ee/FloridaWomensLawGroup Florida Women's Law Group Website- https://www.floridawomenslawgroup.com/Samantha Boss's Links: Official Website: https://www.samanthaboss.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theuglytruthofdivorceYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theuglytruthofdivorcePodcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/63XhuzAVPjR4tdJwE794sWWomen Winning Divorce is supported by Florida Women's Law Group.Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not an advertisement for legal services. The information provided on this podcast is not intended to be legal advice. You should not rely on what you hear on this podcast as legal advice. If you have a legal issue, please contact a lawyer. The views and opinions expressed by the hosts and guests are solely those of the individuals and do not represent the views or opinions of the firms or organizations with which they are affiliated or the views or opinions of this podcast's advertisers. This podcast is available for private, non-commercial use only. Any editing, reproduction, or redistribution of this podcast for commercial use or monetary gain without the expressed, written consent of the podcast's creator is prohibited.Thank you for listening, please leave us a review and share the podcast with your friends and colleagues. Send your questions, comments, and feedback to marketing@4womenlaw.com.

The Stuph File Program Featuring Lisa Johnson, co-founder of Been There Got Out; Jennifer Lieberman, author of Independent Theatre Production For The 21st Century: In Seven Simple Steps; & Stuart Nulman with Book Banter Download Lisa Johnson is the co-founder of Been There Got Out and also the co-author of Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, And How To Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances & When Your Ex Turns The Kids Against You. Actress Jennifer Lieberman is the author of Independent Theatre Production For The 21st Century: In Seven Simple Steps. Stuart Nulman with another edition of Book Banter. This week's reviewed title is Jean Drapeau’s Baby: Aislin’s 1976 Montreal Olympic Scrapbook by Terry Mosher (Aislin Publications; $50 softcover, $100 hardcover).You can also read Stuart's articles in The Main and at BestStory.ca. This week's opening slate is presented by Emmy Award winning sports broadcaster Steve Lanthier, who also works as a broadcast consultant. Steve has almost 50 years experience in the industry as a producer.  Click below to order directly from Amazon.com Part of the success of this show depends on the generosity of its listeners worldwide. If you enjoy the program please feel free to make a donation in any amount, no matter how small, in any denomination of $1, $5, $10, $20 or more.  Just click on the donate button to the left. It will be greatly appreciated. This website is powered by PubNIX a boutique Internet service provider with great personalized service that was instrumental in helping to structure the look of this very site! The computer used for this site was built by InfoMontreal.ca, serving individuals, commercial & industrial companies in Quebec with computers, software and networks. Your needs are unique and InfoMontreal.ca believes the solutions should be too.

If you have a court date coming up, a difficult phone call with your ex on the calendar, or you're just sick and tired of going blank exactly when you need to be sharp, this conversation is for you.Lisa sits down with Annie Brook, a body-centered somatic psychologist who has trained therapists for decades and spent time in courtrooms testifying for children. Annie brings something genuinely different to this conversation: not just the why behind the freeze, the anger, and the exhaustion you've been feeling, but practical, body-based tools you can use covertly, right now, even with a judge watching.In this episode, Annie explains:- Why hopelessness after a toxic relationship is neurological, not a character flaw- How your birth experience and earliest attachment moments may have shaped the "blind spots" your ex exploited- The science behind why you freeze when you're attacked in conversation or in court, and how to break it- Four covert grounding techniques you can use during a custody hearing without anyone knowing- The "hula hoop" exercise that rebuilds your sense of personal space and power- What "middle tone" is and why it's the secret to staying credible and relational under pressure- How self-attack thinking is not just emotionally exhausting — it may be affecting your physical healthAnnie Brook's website: https://www.anniebrook.com#NarcissisticAbuse #NervousSystemHealing #SomaticTherapy #FamilyCourt #HighConflictDivorce #ParentalAlienation #TraumaHealing #CoParenting #CustodyBattle #AnnieBrook #BeenThereGotOut 

When betrayal impacts a marriage, children feel it too. But how do you protect your kids without pulling them into adult pain?In this episode, betrayal trauma expert Sarah McDugal (MSA-ID, MCPC, High-Conflict Divorce and Custody Coach) shares how parents can teach children to recognize manipulation, unhealthy behaviors, and emotional red flags—without trashing the other parent.We explore:how betrayal impacts childrenwhat NOT to say to your kidshow to teach emotional boundarieshow to recognize manipulation and gaslightinghow to help children trust their intuitionhow to protect kids without parental alienationConnect with Sarah: Facebook, Instagram, websiteChapters00:46 Introducing Sarah McDugal01:44 Parenting Without Trash Talk05:05 Teach Red Flags Not Blame09:07 Kids Tools Help Recovery12:42 Using Movies to Teach23:05 Age-Appropriate Answers25:55 Don't Speak For Others31:34 Someday Journal Method40:15 Breaking Generational CyclesRegister Now!***Use promo code PODCAST150 to get $150 off when you register for any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

Mediation can look calm on the calendar and feel like a wood chipper in the room. If you're a dad heading toward divorce mediation, this briefing is built for the exact moment the tone shifts, the “reasonable” mask drops, and your parenting time suddenly becomes negotiable. We lay out the tactical mindset that keeps you from getting processed into the weekend-visitor trap and helps you protect a real 50/50 custody schedule.We start with the courtroom math most people miss: family court often runs on a preponderance of evidence, where that extra 1% of perception can decide everything. From there, we unpack the biggest red flag in the room, the 50/50 custody litmus test. If the other parent won't support equal parenting time up front, we explain what that usually means for custody, support, and the next twenty years of co-parenting, and how to shift from “nice guy” hoping to strategic defense.Then we get concrete. We talk about using mediation as intelligence gathering, locking in small wins with an a la carte approach, and building a durable floor through documented agreements like an MOU where your jurisdiction allows it. You'll also hear tools for high conflict divorce dynamics: the legal pad protocol for handling provocation and false allegations, how to “spoon feed” the mediator labeled facts and a parenting log, and how to use ask-based questions that force the other side to show evidence. We close with the decision gap, managing exhaustion, and why you should demand a 24-hour review before signing anything. Being unprepared is how great fathers become weekend visitors. Most ground is lost quietly through "drift" and decisions made under pressure. Stop the drift today at TheDivorcedDadvocate.com.Access your tactical tools:Risk Assessment: Identify your "quiet loss" exposure in 10 minutes.Protection Session: Book a private triage to ensure mistakes don't become permanent.Your kids are counting on you. Support the show

Finding the right therapist for your child during a high-conflict divorce is one of the most important and misunderstood decisions you'll make.Most parents want immediate results. They want their child to sit down in session one and start processing everything that's been happening at home. But experienced art therapist Ahimsa Luciano has seen this expectation backfire again and again, and she has a more effective approach to share.In this conversation, Ahimsa breaks down what effective therapy for children in high-conflict situations actually looks like, why it takes longer than parents expect, and why that's not a bad thing. She explains how to match your child's personality to a therapeutic style, what to say when the other parent has told your child therapy means something is wrong with them, and exactly why the therapist can't be your source of custody intel, even when you desperately want updates.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE:- Why AI will never replace a human therapist, and what the 7-38-55 communication rule reveals about what's really missing- What makes an experienced intake truly different and why this first step is the most important one- How to give a resistant child space to open up, even when their world feels like it's in chaos- Why it can take months (or longer) before a child talks, and why that's not failure- How to handle a child who's been told therapy means they're damaged - a trauma-informed response that actually works- The truth about "parentification" in high-conflict families and its long-term impact on relationships and boundaries- Why children tell each parent something different and why that doesn't mean anyone is lying- What 'your child is fine with both parents' in an evaluation actually means, and why it's not the betrayal it feels like- Why custody exchanges are a major anxiety trigger for children and the specific harm of using kids as tools at handoffs- Questions to ask when choosing a therapist for your child including how to match personality type to therapeutic style- Why your child's therapy space must be private and what the therapist will and won't share with youABOUT AHIMSA LUCIANO:Ahimsa Luciano is an art therapist licensed in New York State and the co-founder and co-owner of Pleasantville Wellness Group, a multidisciplinary therapy practice in Pleasantville, NY serving children through adults, couples, and families. She began her career at a domestic violence and sexual assault agency as the children's therapist — an experience that gave her deep roots in working with kids navigating high-conflict separations, divorce, and trauma. Pleasantville Wellness Group offers a broad range of therapeutic modalities including art therapy, play therapy, and individual and group services, and is currently in-network with NYSHIP, United Healthcare, and Oxford for New York State clients. Some therapists in the practice are also licensed in additional states.  https://www.pleasantvillewellnessgroup.com/home#highconflictdivorce #childtherapy #parentalalienation #coparenting #arttherapy #custodybattle #parentification #divorceandkids #traumainformedparenting #beentheregotout #kidsanddivorce #therapyforchildren

If your child just told you something terrible — or if you're afraid they're trying to — this conversation is for you.Lisa sits down with Julia Hochstadt, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in trauma, childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, and domestic violence. Julia works with adolescents (15+) and adults, including many parents navigating high-conflict custody situations where their children may be in danger. She also testifies as an expert witness in DV and intimate partner violence cases.This interview was recorded during Sexual Assault Awareness Month — but Julia's guidance is something every protective parent needs to hear, no matter what month it is.In this conversation, you'll hear:→ The #1 thing Julia urges parents to do immediately when a child discloses abuse — and the exact words to say→ Why disclosures can sound unbelievable — and why that doesn't mean they're not true→ How years of gaslighting from an abusive partner erode your ability to trust your own instincts (and what to do about it)→ The behavioral signs that should prompt a protective parent to lean in — not wait and watch→ A practical, age-appropriate framework for building a child's safety plan — including how to plan for different times of day, different scenarios, and changing circumstances→ Why Julia compares child safety planning to how the fire department talks about home fire safety — and why you should revisit it every time life transitions happen→ What research says about the #1 protective factor for a child whose abuse was not properly addressed by the legal system→ How to comfort a terrified child when you have to send them on a court-ordered exchange you know is unsafeLisa also shares a real situation she encountered that same morning: a mother whose child disclosed the worst kind of abuse, survived two investigations that were not acted upon, and is now being forced into a form of reunification therapy that's making things dramatically worse. Julia's guidance for this mother, and for the many parents in this community who are living this nightmare, is both clinically grounded and deeply human.ABOUT JULIA HOCHSTADT, LCSWJulia is a licensed clinical social worker licensed to practice in New York and New Jersey. She specializes in primary and secondary survivors of childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, and domestic violence. She does training, education, and outreach nationally, and testifies as an expert witness in DV and IPV cases. She is also available for consultation to individuals and clinicians nationwide.Website: https://therapywithjulia.com#ChildAbuse #ChildSafety #ParentalAlienation #HighConflictDivorce #ProtectiveParent #DomesticViolence #SafetyPlanning #ChildDisclosure #SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth #CustodyBattle #CoParenting #TraumaTherapist #BeenThereGotOut

That sick jolt in your chest when her name lights up your phone isn't random. We know exactly what it is: a trigger that pushes good dads into “explaining,” and then into messages that can be twisted into court exhibits. We slow that moment down and replace it with a communication strategy that protects your peace and your parenting time.We walk through the Grey Rock Method for high-conflict divorce communication: how to become emotionally unrewarding, keep replies short and neutral, and stop feeding the fire with long defenses. We also unpack the psychology behind emotional extraction and “narcissistic supply” so you understand why the conflict keeps looping, even when you bring facts, logic, and good intentions. If you've ever thought, “If I just explain it clearly, she'll finally get it,” this conversation shows why that approach backfires.Then we connect it to the reality of family court. When decisions run on preponderance of evidence, the calmest parent often wins the narrative. We share practical scripts for common traps, explain a “yellow rock” variation for false accusations, and warn you about the extinction burst when you change the pattern, and the other side escalates. We also zoom out to parallel parenting as the long-term infrastructure: fewer points of contact, tighter orders, and fewer loopholes for conflict to exploit. Being unprepared is how great fathers become weekend visitors. Most ground is lost quietly through "drift" and decisions made under pressure. Stop the drift today at TheDivorcedDadvocate.com.Access your tactical tools:Risk Assessment: Identify your "quiet loss" exposure in 10 minutes.Protection Session: Book a private triage to ensure mistakes don't become permanent.Your kids are counting on you. Support the show

If you've ever sat in a courtroom waiting for a judge to address what your ex is doing... and walked out with nothing... AGAIN, you already know this truth in your bones: justice delayed is justice denied.Criminal defense attorney, legal analyst, and law professor James Porfido has spent more than 35 years watching the American legal system from every angle: as a prosecutor in the Morris County Prosecutor's Office, as a certified criminal trial attorney, and as a defense attorney for people caught in a system that often seemed designed to work against them. His book, Unequal Justice, is a frank accounting of what he witnessed.In this conversation with Lisa, James brings that rare "both sides of the courtroom" perspective to the world of high-conflict divorce and custody — and what he sees mirrors exactly what our community lives every day.In this episode, you'll learn:- Why family court cases drag on for months and years, and why judges often feel they have no choice- How a toxic ex uses court delays strategically to wear you down, separate you from your children, and drain your finances- What "parental alienation" looks like through the eyes of a criminal attorney who has represented falsely accused parents- How coached child testimony works and what it means for your case- The single most important thing to look for when hiring an attorney (hint: it's not their fees)- Why knowing the "lay of the land" in your local court system is as important as knowing the law- How court staff relationships can quietly determine whether your case moves forward... or stalls- James's framework for what questions to ask when interviewing a potential attorneyAbout James Porfido James Porfido is a New Jersey-based attorney with over 35 years of experience as both a prosecutor and criminal defense attorney. He is a Certified Criminal Trial Attorney, certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey. He is currently of counsel at a 65-attorney New Jersey firm, an adjunct law professor teaching advocacy and persuasion at Seattle Law School, and a legal analyst who has provided commentary on high-profile cases including OJ Simpson, the Menendez brothers, and Scott Peterson. His book, Unequal Justice, is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.#HighConflictDivorce #FamilyCourt #ParentalAlienation #JusticeDelayed #CustodyBattle #FalseAllegations #DomesticViolence #CoerciveControl #BeenThereGotOut #UnequalJustice 

In this episode, we dive deep into the harsh reality of co-parenting with a narcissist. It's not just about separation; it's about navigating a battlefield where your children become collateral damage. Lisa Johnson, a high conflict divorce coach, reveals the emotional turmoil and strategies to protect your kids while maintaining your sanity. Learn how to identify red flags, build a supportive community, and empower yourself with knowledge that can change everything. To work with Lisa and purchase her book, visit: https://beentheregotout.com

You pick your child up from their other parent's, and within minutes, the screaming starts. Maybe they're throwing things. Maybe they're kicking you. Maybe they're saying things you never imagined hearing from your own kid's mouth - things that sound frighteningly like your ex.You're doing everything you can think of. Talking. Reasoning. Setting consequences. Nothing works. And you're starting to wonder if your child is broken... or if you are.You're not. And neither is your child.In this episode, we welcome back Tosha Schore, founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully and co-author of the book "Listen: 5 Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges." Tosha has been a trusted voice in the BTGO community for years, and this conversation may be the most important thing she's shared with us.Here's what she wants you to understand: when your child comes home from the other household and erupts, that behavior is almost never about you. Their limbic system, the emotional brain, has been flooded by stress, fear, and unpredictability. Their prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, self-regulation, and respect, is offline. You can't talk them out of it. You can't punish them out of it. And time-outs make it worse.What you can do - what actually works - is exactly what Tosha walks us through in this conversation.In this episode, you'll learn:→ Why children in high-conflict divorce situations are wired for aggression, and why it's a fear response, not a character flaw→ The one thing you should do first when your child is escalating (hint: it's not talking)→ Why consequences and time-outs create the exact opposite of what you need in these moments→ The stay-listening technique and why staying quiet and present is the most powerful tool you have→ What to say (and what NOT to say) when your child is in a rage spiral→ The note-under-the-door strategy that has helped hundreds of parents reconnect with an escalating child→ The surprising reason why your child's laughter after hurting you doesn't mean they don't care→ How to use "special time" to rebuild connection — and why it creates a window into your child's inner world when nothing else will→ The difference between a stress-driven outburst and a chronic pattern that needs more support→ Why the fastest way to earn respect from your dysregulated child is to stop demanding it in that momentTosha also shares what she calls "good enough parenting shape," and why what you need most before your child gets home is to take care of yourself first, so you can show up fully for them.If your child seems to become a different person after exchanges - angrier, crueler, more out of control - you need to hear this conversation. And if you've ever felt your ex's voice coming out of your child's mouth while they're screaming at you, that's not your imagination. Tosha has words for that too.

If seeing your ex, even from across a parking lot, sends your body into overdrive, you're not overreacting. You're experiencing a trauma response. And it has a name.In this episode, Lisa sits down with Dr. Andrea DePetris, a clinical psychologist at Yale School of Medicine and private practice therapist, for a conversation that will genuinely change how you understand yourself in these moments.We start with something that gets thrown around a lot - the word "trigger" - and Dr. DePetris explains precisely what it means in a trauma context: a stimulus that activates your trauma memory network and makes your brain and body feel like the danger is happening right now. Not overreaction. Biology.From there, we dig into the window of tolerance, a concept developed by psychiatrist Dan Siegel that describes the range in which we can think clearly, connect with our kids, and respond (rather than react) to what's in front of us. Trauma narrows that window. Chronic high-conflict divorce narrows it even further. And when something pushes us outside that window, our nervous system responds in one of two ways: it speeds everything up (hyperarousal: fast talking, heat in the body, urgency, needing to win), or it slows everything down (hypoarousal: going quiet, shrinking, emotional flatness, checking out).Both responses make complete sense. Both were designed to protect you. And both can absolutely get in the way of the parent you want to be in that moment.he good news (and Dr. DePetris is practical and clear about this) is that these patterns are learnable and changeable. In this conversation, she walks you through exactly what to do in the moment and how to build the self-regulation muscle when you're not activated, so it's available to you when you are.What you'll take away from this episode:→ The clinical definition of a trigger — and why trigger warnings may not work the way we think→ How to recognize whether you tend toward hyperarousal or hypoarousal when you encounter your ex→ The single best thing to do in any activation moment (spoiler: it's a pause — but Dr. DePetris shows you exactly what that looks like for each response type)→ A breathing technique you can practice with your children right now: breathe in like you're smelling flowers, exhale long like you're blowing out birthday candles→ The '5 neutral things' grounding exercise and why naming them moves you from feeling to observation→ Why stepping away isn't avoiding — it's modeling self-regulation for your kids→ How to repair with your children after a hard moment, and why kids don't need perfect parents — they need present onesDr. Andrea DePetris is a clinical psychologist at Yale School of Medicine and works with adults in private practice. She specializes in helping people understand the internal patterns — shaped by early life and relationship history — that drive how they feel and respond, and supports them in updating those patterns to feel more integrated and at peace.#CoParenting #HighConflictDivorce #WindowOfTolerance #Triggers #EmotionalRegulation #NarcissisticEx #CustodyExchange #TraumaResponse #HighConflictCoParenting #ParentalAlienation #DivorceRecovery #ToxicEx #GroundingTechniques #MentalHealth #BeenThereGotOut

If your ex keeps dragging you back to court - filing motion after motion just to control, harass, and drain you, you already know how the legal system can become the abuser's most powerful weapon. What you might not know is that California is on the verge of changing that.In this episode, Lisa sits down with Monique, one of BTGO's own success stories. After years of navigating the family court system herself, Monique went to law school and founded the Women's Healing Resource Clinic SoCal, a grassroots domestic violence advocacy organization. And she's here to break down a bill that has us genuinely excited: California Senate Bill 1192, known as the RECLAIM Act.This legislation is designed specifically to address post-separation abuse through vexatious litigation — the pattern of filing frivolous court motions not because the filer expects to win, but because being in court means being close to you. It means draining your money, disrupting your work, and reminding you who still holds power over your life.Here's what SB 1192 would actually do, in plain language:- The three-part framework of SB 1192: how to qualify as a victim of litigation abuse, what the affidavit process looks like, and what protections kick in once you do.- Who can write your affidavit: certified domestic violence advocates with 40 hours of DV training under California Evidence Code 1037.1, as well as mental health professionals who know your case.- What "frivolous litigation" actually means under the law, and why the bill's updated language (removing the word "abusive" and leaving just "frivolous") may actually make it easier for survivors to qualify.- The most stunning piece: if approved, all future court filing fees could be waived, and you may be entitled to legal representation at no charge.- How to support the bill right now, including how to contact Senator Rubio's office, how to share your survivor story in a way that makes the most impact, and what Lisa learned from giving live testimony for Connecticut's Jennifer's Law.- What the national coercive control law landscape looks like, from California to Connecticut to Utah to the UK, and how to push for similar legislation in your own state.- The role of domestic violence resource centers in your area (and why so many survivors never think to call them).PLUS: Monique shares her incredible personal journey — from being a client of Lisa and Chris's coaching practice, to representing just 2% of Latina women who go on to become attorneys. Her story is a powerful reminder that people do rebuild, and that sometimes, that rebuilt life becomes a force for change.ADVOCATE FOR SB 1192:- Contact Senator Susan Rubio's office: sd22.senate.ca.gov- Co-sponsor: Family Violence Appellate Project (Oakland, CA)

What if the moment your child starts pulling away isn't a sign of failure, but the beginning of a chapter you can still write?Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst has spent 50 years as a psychologist inside divorce cases, family courts, and the offices of struggling parents. What she's learned might change the way you see everything.In this powerful conversation, Lisa sits down with Dr. Vanderhorst to explore the real psychology behind parental alienation - how it starts, why children pull away, what's actually happening inside your child's developing mind, and what you can do right now to protect and rebuild your relationship with them.Dr. Vanderhorst introduces a framework that most parents have never heard: divorce doesn't just disrupt your child's relationship with you, it disrupts their sense of place and their attachment to the world itself. When children lose two of their three core attachments simultaneously, their behavior shifts in ways that look like alienation but are rooted in survival. Understanding this changes everything.She also offers a deeply compassionate reframe for parents whose children are actively refusing contact: treat your child like a traumatized rescue animal who needs to earn safety at their own pace, not a family member who owes you time. Set your ego aside. Give them space. Stay consistent. That patience, she explains, is what eventually brings children back - and she has decades of cases to prove it.If your relationship with your child has been damaged by a toxic co-parent, this conversation gives you both the psychological foundation for understanding what's happening and the practical strategies for responding with patience, dignity, and hope.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE✅ Why divorce disrupts a child's three core attachments — and what that means for their behavior✅ The subtle, nonverbal ways alienation happens without any spoken words✅ How to talk about your ex's traits in ways that help your child without harming yourself✅ What to do when your child's alienation is getting worse, not better✅ Why age 14 is the most critical and dangerous period for refusal behavior✅ The 'letter strategy' that kept one father connected across years of complete estrangement — and resulted in every one of his children returning✅ How to survive the shame and social isolation that comes with being a rejected parent✅ A simple feelings vocabulary tool that can help you and your children rebuild emotional connectionABOUT DR. GLORIA VANDERHORSTDr. Gloria Vanderhorst is a licensed psychologist with 50 years of clinical experience spanning the full human lifespan. She began her practice with preschool children and has worked with individuals and families through every stage of development. Dr. Vanderhorst has extensive experience in divorce-related psychological work, including court testimony, child and adult evaluations, and post-divorce parenting support. Her website offers a range of downloadable resources, including her highly regarded feelings vocabulary sheet.Website: www.drgvanderhorst.com

What CPS Is Actually Looking For When They Knock on Your DoorWhen Child Protective Services shows up during a high-conflict divorce or custody battle, the fear can be overwhelming. You might be terrified of losing your children, furious at your ex for weaponizing the system, and completely in the dark about what happens next.In this episode, Lisa sits down with Sara Vandenberg, a trauma psychotherapist and former CPS caseworker in Texas, for one of the most practical, fear-reducing conversations we've ever had about what CPS investigations actually look like from the inside.Here's what Sara wants you to know before anything else: about 6-7 million children are investigated by CPS each year in the United States. Only about 5% are ever removed from the home. CPS is not a custody agency, and they cannot take your children and give them to your ex. That's not how the system works.Sara pulls back the curtain on the risk-versus-danger framework that CPS workers use when they walk into your home. Risk is the deer crossing sign on the road at night. Danger is the deer standing in the middle of the road. CPS is concerned with danger, not with judging you as a parent.She also shares something critical that surprises most parents: CPS is not looking to see if you are a good or bad parent. They are looking to see if your child is safe. Understanding this distinction can completely change how you approach a CPS investigation and how the investigator perceives you.

Parenting after separation isn't just about doing everything right — it's about rebuilding yourself while still showing up for your child.In this episode of Single Parent Success Stories, Camilla Calberg shares her journey of navigating single parenthood, healing, and rediscovering her identity after life didn't go as planned.What can feel like pressure to “hold it all together” often hides something deeper — the emotional weight of starting over, finding your footing, and learning to trust yourself again.Camilla opens up about the challenges of balancing parenting, personal growth, and the internal shifts that come with rebuilding your life from the inside out.If you've ever felt overwhelmed, questioned your path, or wondered how to move forward while carrying so much responsibility, this conversation offers a grounded and empowering perspective.One of the most powerful takeaways: rebuilding your life doesn't happen all at once — it happens through small, intentional steps.In this episode, you'll discover:• What it really means to rebuild your life as a single parent• How to navigate emotional challenges after separation• The importance of self-trust and inner stability• Why healing is essential to showing up for your child• How small, consistent steps create lasting changeThis episode is for single parents who are not just surviving — but ready to reconnect with themselves and move forward with clarity and strength.Because when you begin to rebuild from within, everything around you starts to shift.Connect with Camilla:LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/camillacalbergInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/itscamillacalbergYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@camillacalberg

Divorce isn't just emotional — it can turn into psychological warfare.In this livestream, I sit down with Chris and Lisa from Been There Got Out, two of the most experienced voices I've spoken with on high-conflict divorce, legal abuse, and custody battles.We dig into:Why “being a good guy” often backfires in family courtHow false allegations gain traction (and why men are especially vulnerable)The biggest mistakes men make when communicating with their exWhy courts reward cooperation — even when the other side is acting insaneParallel parenting vs co-parenting (and what NOT to call it in court)How manipulators weaponize kids, restraining orders, and the legal systemWhat to do if you're terrified of custody evaluations or taking the standChris and Lisa don't deal in theory. They deal with the worst cases — the ones that never “cool off” and never resolve on their own.If you're in a contentious divorce, haven't seen your kids, or feel like the system is stacked against you, this conversation will give you clarity, grounding, and practical direction.

Have you ever looked back at your relationship with your ex and wondered: how did I get here? Why did I choose someone who would eventually turn the courts, the kids, maybe even your own family against you? Why did this feel so normal... at first? The answer might be encoded in your DNA. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with Dr. Sylvia Kalachinsky — a PhD family therapist with 21 years of clinical experience, a faculty career that took her from Mount Sinai Medical Center to working with migrant families in the California fields, and a newly released book called “Lonely AF.” She is also someone who grew up with a narcissistic father and learned, in adulthood, to trace her own relational patterns back to their roots. Together, they unpack intergenerational trauma — not as a heavy clinical term, but as the lived experience of patterns passed down through families across at least three generations. Patterns encoded not just in behavior but, according to the science of epigenetics, in your actual DNA. In this episode, you'll discover: - Why we are often unconsciously attracted to partners who mirror how we felt emotionally with our primary caregivers, even if that feeling was painful - The science behind “your nervous system will reject what's unfamiliar, even if it feels good,” and why a healthy relationship can feel suspiciously boring at first - Big T vs. little t trauma - why your pain counts even if it “didn't seem that bad” - How to do a genogram to identify the patterns your own family has been running for generations - The BODY Skill: a 90-second grounding technique you can use silently in mediation, at a deposition, or while waiting for a call from your lawyer - Why your healing is the single most powerful gift you can give your children and how modeling emotional regulation stops the cycle of transmission Lisa also shares her own story about how, after 20 years in a high-conflict marriage, a loving, stable relationship initially felt “too boring.” Her nervous system had been conditioned to chaos. The moment you hear Dr. Sylvia's response to that story might be the thing you share with a friend today. Whether you're in the middle of a custody battle, co-parenting with someone you can't trust, or already on the other side and trying to make sure the cycle ends with you — this conversation is going to give you something you've been looking for. Dr. Sylvia's new book “Lonely AF: A Therapist's No-B.S. Guide to Feeling Less Alone” is available now. Find Dr. Sylvia at: Instagram @doctorsylviak | drsylviak.com | The Doctor Sylvia K Show podcast

In this episode, I share what it's really like to support clients through the chaos of high-conflict divorce — when legal processes, endless emails, and contradictory communication make it nearly impossible to think clearly. I talk about how I help clients slow things down, organize what's actually happening, and find stability in the middle of emotional and legal overwhelm.I also share how confusion becomes one of the main weapons of post-separation abuse, and what I do to help survivors reclaim clarity, confidence, and emotional grounding. If you've ever felt like you're drowning in filings, lawyer emails, or mixed messages from your ex and the professionals involved, this episode will help you see the bigger picture, feel more anchored, and take the next step forward.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your RelationshipWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

If you're navigating high-conflict divorce or co-parenting and feel constantly overwhelmed, triggered, or angry… your nervous system is likely stuck in survival mode.In this episode, we break down simple, practical tools like box breathing and basic meditation to help you regulate your nervous system, reduce reactivity, think more clearly, and protect your peace. You'll learn how these techniques improve your mental clarity, emotional control, sleep, stress levels, and even how you show up for your kids.This is especially powerful for divorced moms dealing with high-conflict dynamics, manipulation, or constant stress. When you regulate your nervous system, you stop reacting emotionally and start responding strategically.If you're ready for deeper support, live coaching, and practical tools to help you heal, regulate, and co-parent with confidence, join us inside The Next Chapter membership. This is where we do the real work together.

Your child cried at your house about how much they hate going to their other parent's home. Then you found out they had a great time. Or they came home from your ex's house perfectly happy, when you expected them to be upset. Or they told you one thing — and told your ex something completely different. It can feel like a betrayal. Or proof that something is wrong at the other house. Or maybe it makes you doubt your own perception of what's happening. Here's what's actually going on — and it's less alarming than you might think. Dr. Jill Leibowitz is a clinical psychologist and play therapist in New York City who works with children and families navigating high-conflict divorce and co-parenting situations. In her third conversation with Lisa and Been There Got Out, Dr. Jill unpacks one of the most confusing and emotionally loaded experiences in shared custody: why children behave so differently depending on which parent they're with — and what it means for you as the parent trying to protect them. This conversation also addresses what happens when parents respond to the "two-faced" experience in ways that escalate conflict — even when they mean well. From reporting back what the kids said, to demanding consistency in rules, to getting pulled into a group text where the kids are being used to pressure a decision, Dr. Jill walks through the specific behaviors that keep the conflict burning and the concrete steps parents can take instead.  In this conversation: - Why kids bring different emotional parts of themselves to each parent — and why that's developmentally normal - What it means when your child complains about the other parent's home (and what it doesn't mean) - The "code switching" concept: how kids adapt to different homes the same way they adapt to different classrooms - Why demanding the same bedtime, diet, and screen time rules in both homes creates more conflict than it solves - The group text trap: what your ex is doing and the precise way to step out of it - Why children who seem to want decision-making power are often overwhelmed by it — and what to do instead - How to be the parent your child brings their full self to, not just the brave parts or the scared parts  If you've been confused, hurt, or worried by your child's behavior between homes, this is the conversation that will finally make sense of it.  CONNECT WITH DR. JILL LEIBOWITZ: Website: https://realtkseveryday.com Instagram: @realtkseveryday Facebook: Real Talks Everyday  #KidsBehavior #CoParentingHelp #HighConflictCustody #ChildTherapist #DivorceKids #ParentingAfterDivorce #CoParenting #ParallelParenting #NarcissisticEx #FamilyLaw 

When Kasia Bukowska's horses refused to cooperate, she thought she was failing. What she discovered instead changed everything she understood about trauma, healing, and why we stay stuck. Kasia is a Polish equine-assisted therapist, equestrian coach, and artist who has spent years learning how to use horses as healing partners for clients working through deep emotional pain - including survivors of narcissistic abuse, people in the middle of high-conflict divorces, and anyone whose nervous system has been shattered by years of coercive control. But here's the most important thing she says right at the start of this conversation: you don't need a horse. The lessons horses teach — about nervous system regulation, about authenticity, about the way your energy affects everyone around you — apply to your dog, your cat, a rabbit, even a tree. If you've ever wondered why you can't seem to calm down no matter how hard you try, or why you walk into a custody evaluation dysregulated even though you desperately want to present well, this conversation is going to give you a completely different lens for understanding what's happening in your body. Lisa and Kasia go deep on how horses act as biological mirrors — literally responding to your internal state in real time — and what that reveals about the patterns keeping you stuck. Including a story about a giant shire horse and a little wooden pole that will stay with you. In this episode: 00:00 - Introduction: Who is Kasia Bukowska and why horses?01:45 - The one thing Kasia says immediately: you don't need a horse!03:30 - Kasia's background: equestrian coach, equine-assisted therapist, and artist05:20 - How she discovered the connection between her paintings and her horses' messages08:10 - What actually happens in an equine-assisted therapy session12:00 - Why Kasia works with horses at liberty (no halters, no riding) and what that makes possible16:30 - How a horse responds when you're reliving trauma vs. when you're regulated19:45 - "The way you do one thing is the way you do everything" - what this means for your healing24:00 - The cavaletti story: what a ton of horse taught one client about softening instead of pushing30:15 - How addiction, self-harm, and deep shame show up in equine sessions33:40 - What to do if you see horses on the side of the road and can't stop36:20 - How to use any animal (or a tree!) as a grounding tool right now40:10 - Can you do equine therapy online? Kasia explains how44:30 - How to find equine-assisted learning and equine gestalt practitioners near you47:00 - Where to find Kasia: Instagram, websites, and upcoming webinars Find Kasia Bukowska:Instagram (coaching): @equestrian_kasha_bukowskaInstagram (art): @kasha_bukowska_artCoaching & therapy: hearthorseexperience.comArtwork: kashabukowska.com Been There Got Out:We are Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry: veteran high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists who help targeted parents navigate one of the most painful experiences a person can face. We fill the gap between what family law attorneys are trained to do and what therapists understand about the legal system. If your ex has a personality disorder, if you're fighting to protect your relationship with your children, or if you're trying to rebuild your life after years of coercive control, you are in the right place! #equinetherapy #traumahealing #narcissisticabuserecovery #nervousystemregulation #highconflictdivorce #equineасsistedtherapy #healingafterabuse #beentheregotout 

No one believes you.  You've said it in every room. To every professional. To the judge, the GAL, the CPS worker. You didn't do this. The allegations are false. And yet — somehow — your children are not with you.  There's a tool that most people in your situation have never heard of. It's not new. It's not experimental. It's legally recognized, it produces a certified written report within 24 hours, and it has caused CPS cases to be dropped and charges dismissed before parents ever set foot in a courtroom.  It's a polygraph — and not the made-for-TV version you're thinking of.  Lisa brought polygraph examiner David Goldberg onto the show specifically because false allegations are one of the most devastating — and most common — tactics used by toxic co-parents in high-conflict custody battles. David has administered more than 20,000 tests over 25 years, many of them for parents exactly like you: falsely accused, emotionally overwhelmed, and desperately looking for something concrete to fight back with.  This conversation covers the practical reality of polygraph testing in custody situations: what it actually costs in time and emotion, what the report contains, how attorneys and judges interact with it, and — perhaps most surprisingly — how many people find the experience therapeutically transformative, not just legally valuable.  About David Goldberg: David Goldberg is a state-licensed, advanced board-certified polygraph examiner based in Virginia. He spent the early part of his career in law enforcement, where he watched innocent people struggle to prove their innocence in a system that defaulted to suspicion. That experience drove him to open his private practice, where he now serves individuals outside the criminal system — people dealing with custody battles, workplace conflicts, past trauma, and more. With nearly 25 years of practice and more than 20,000 examinations behind him, David is also a court-certified expert witness. He is one of the few examiners in the country who takes a full-day approach to each client — never watching the clock, never rushing to the next appointment — because he understands that the conversations that happen before the test determine the accuracy and usefulness of everything that follows.  

One of the things I see so often with women going through divorce, especially high conflict divorce, is this instinct to explain yourself, to clarify, to defend yourself, to make sure the other person understands what actually happened. But here's the problem: in a high conflict divorce, explaining yourself is often the very thing that keeps you stuck in the conflict. In this episode, I walk you through why the communication playbook that works in healthy relationships completely backfires when you're dealing with a high conflict personality, and what to do instead. Here's the thing: high conflict dynamics operate like a fire. Explanations are oxygen. Every time you write a long response or try to defend yourself, you're actually blowing air into the flames. Every explanation keeps you in the engagement. Every defense keeps you in the arena. You don't have to keep exhausting yourself trying to explain the truth to someone who has already decided not to hear it. You get to step out of that cycle and you get to move forward with a playbook that actually works in high conflict divorce. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why explanations don't resolve conflict in high conflict dynamics, they extend it How your words become fuel: long texts, clarifying emails, and attempts to correct the narrative all give the other person material to twist, screenshot, and weaponize The difference between the explanation mindset and the documentation mindset The BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) and how to use it Why silence isn't capitulating and why not every accusation requires a response Resources & Links: Get Your Curated Podcast PlaylistFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-360-stop-explaining-yourself-why-it-makes-high-conflict-divorce-worse/  

You know you shouldn't react. You know exactly what your ex is doing when they push, bait, violate the court order, or put the kids in the middle. You've read the articles. You've heard about grey rock. You're smart — you've built a career, raised children, solved genuinely complex problems.And you still react. Every time.This is not a character flaw. This is your nervous system doing exactly what years of coercive control trained it to do — and no amount of willpower changes a nervous system. You have to work with it.Dr. Jordin Wiggins is a naturopathic doctor, author of The Pink Canary, and fellow survivor who has spent years studying exactly this: why the people least likely to be fooled are the ones most likely to be targeted, what coercive control does to the body at a physiological level, and how to start reclaiming your regulation — and your identity — one small pleasure at a time.Dr. Wiggins' clinical work began at the intersection of women's health and sexual dysfunction — and she quickly realized that a significant portion of the women she was seeing with libido issues were also living with coercive control and abuse. That professional observation, combined with her own experience as a survivor who didn't recognize her abusive relationship until the damage was deep, shaped an entirely new area of practice. She developed a healing model rooted in pleasure — not as a luxury, but as a physiologically grounded return to the self that coercive control erases. Through her book The Pink Canary, her Pleasure Collective community (founded in 2018), and her Pleasure Principles Podcast, she has supported thousands of survivors in reclaiming their sense of self from the inside out. She works with high-functioning, high-achieving survivors who carry the double burden of 'I should have known better' — and she has a particular gift for helping them understand why their very excellence made them a target.00:00 — Introduction: The impossible co-parenting situation — and why smart people keep getting baited01:45 — How Dr. Wiggins discovered the coercive control connection through clinical work in women's health04:20 — Super traits: the qualities that make you exceptional — and that make you a target07:10 — The professional's shame: 'I counsel people on abuse and I didn't see it in my own home'09:30 — The boiled frog analogy: how coercive control escalates in ways that are impossible to detect in real time11:45 — Why the violent incident model of abuse completely misses coercive control — and leaves survivors unprotected14:00 — How small moments of deference establish power dynamics long before abuse is recognizable17:20 — When the erosion is complete: Dr. Wiggins' personal turning point — 'I didn't know what food I liked'20:10 — What chronic hypervigilance does to the body — sleep, weight, immunity, mood, thought clarity23:30 — The MRI research on pleasure centers: abuse literally turns off your brain's capacity for desire27:45 — Pleasure research: how discovering what you want — even in tiny ways — starts rebuilding identity31:00 — Emotional baiting decoded: what it does to your nervous system and why your response is predictable35:20 — A real case study: a male client being deliberately baited through court order violations in front of the children39:00 — The wise owl, watchdog, possum model: how to identify where your brain is in a triggered moment42:30 — Overexplaining — the most expensive mistake in co-parenting with a toxic ex, and how to stop46:00 — Learning to feel your feelings: why victims of coercive control lose access to their own emotional experience50:15 — The feelings wheel and why naming the precise emotion is the first step to regaining power53:40 — Holding rage at an unjust system while still functioning — and not getting stuck in it57:00 — The lotion challenge: five minutes,

There's a moment most people in our community know well. Your phone lights up with a message from your ex. Or you're sitting in the parking lot outside the courthouse. Or you're on the phone with your attorney and your voice starts shaking.You know the response you want to give. You know the person you want to be in that moment. And then something happens — a thought spiral, a surge of adrenaline, a reaction you didn't plan — and afterward, you're sitting there wondering what just happened.That's not a character flaw. That's dysregulation. And it is absolutely something you can learn to change.Our guest today, Bonnie Butler, knows this from two directions: as someone who lived through her own version of emotional chaos — adopting six traumatized teenagers at once after years of fostering — and as a certified emotional regulation coach who has helped hundreds of clients transform the way they respond to stress, conflict, and the impossible situations life throws at them.This conversation with Lisa is one of those episodes where you'll want to stop and take notes. Or maybe you'll just find yourself nodding along, because finally someone is naming what you've been experiencing.Timestamps:00:00 — Opening: the problem of knee-jerk reactions with a toxic ex01:20 — Bonnie defines emotional regulation in plain language03:45 — The pause technique: interrupting the thought spiral with a physical cue07:10 — Why holding your breath makes rational thought impossible09:30 — Bonnie introduces herself: from overwhelmed foster/adoptive mom to regulation coach14:00 — The turning point: hitting a wall and learning the hard way18:20 — Why no one ever teaches us to manage our emotions21:40 — Her 12-week program and what transformation actually looks like25:00 — Why clients resist the tools at first — and what happens when they try anyway29:15 — Self-regulation explained: what it feels like when you've got it33:00 — Co-regulation: how your state spreads to everyone around you37:20 — The heartbreaking thing that happens when kids try to regulate their parents40:45 — How modeling regulation teaches your kids to regulate themselves43:00 — "Name it to tame it": why naming an emotion is the first step to releasing it46:15 — "The anxiety I'm feeling" vs. "my anxiety": a small shift, a big door48:30 — Meet Jim: how one client made friends with their anxiety to stop being controlled by it51:00 — Our thoughts are not facts — and you don't have to keep every thought you have54:20 — The thought closet: choosing what you keep and what you let go57:00 — Change, loss, and grief — why healing always has a harder side01:01:00 — "Paddles in the canoe": taking back the steering wheel of your life01:04:30 — What you focus on grows: the profound shift in how Bonnie saw her own life01:08:00 — From "what might have been" to "what could be"01:12:00 — How to connect with BonnieConnect with Bonnie Butler:Website & booking: bonniebutlercoaching.comInstagram: @bonniebutlercoachingFacebook: Bonnie Butler CoachingEmail: bonnie@bonniebutlercoaching.com#EmotionalRegulation #HighConflictDivorce #CustodyBattle #CoParentingHelp #NarcissistEx #DivorceCoach #BonnieButler #BeenThereGotOut

If your spouse owns a business — or if you co-own one together — your divorce just got significantly more complicated. The business isn't just a job. It's potentially a marital asset, a hidden income source, and a leverage point all at once. And if your ex controls the books? You may have no idea what it's actually worth.In this episode, we sit down with Sara Nanchanatt, a forensic accountant and founder of SN Forensics in New York City, to break down exactly what a business valuation is, why it matters so much in divorce, and what you can actually do — right now, and often for free — to start building your financial picture even when your ex isn't cooperating.About Sara Nanchanatt:Sara Nanchanatt is a forensic accountant and the founder of SN Forensics, a forensic accounting firm based in New York City that works remotely with clients across the United States. Sara and her team specialize in divorce-related financial analysis, including business valuations, income available for support calculations, and uncovering financial manipulation by business-owning spouses. Sara brings a practical, cost-conscious approach to forensic accounting — her firm offers multiple levels of service, from streamlined "indication of value" analyses used in mediation all the way to full court-ready expert reports. Her goal is always to make sure that whatever you spend on financial analysis actually makes sense given the value of what's at stake.TIMESTAMPS:00:00 - Introduction: Business and divorce — why it's uniquely complicated01:20 - Sara introduces herself and SN Forensics02:05 - When one spouse doesn't have access to the business financials: what to do03:10 - The "check your mail" strategy for identifying unknown financial accounts03:45 - What IRS tax transcripts are, how to get them, and why they matter05:00 - What a business valuation is and why courts care about it05:50 - How forensic accountants identify income hidden in business expenses06:40 - "Instant poverty syndrome": when the business mysteriously loses money before divorce07:30 - What happens when tax fraud surfaces in a divorce proceeding08:20 - Using business valuations as leverage to push your ex toward settlement09:10 - Service businesses and the "discount for lack of marketability"09:50 - Free spousal labor in a business — and why it may not protect you in court11:00 - Types of valuation: back of the envelope, indication of value, and full expert report12:00 - How to find Sara Nanchanatt and SN ForensicsConnect with Sara Nanchanatt:

Sarah McDugal is back on the podcast, and this time we're talking about what it actually takes to protect your children inside a family court system that often reframes abuse as "mutual high conflict" and makes the protective parent look like the problem. Sarah is a clarity coach and founder of Freedom Navigator and Wilderness to Wild, where she works exclusively with protective parents navigating high-conflict divorce and custody battles. In this conversation, we talk about why the ways most of us instinctively respond—explaining, defending, and trying to get people to understand the truth—can actually work against us in court. We also dive into Sarah's High Conflict Court Risk Index, an assessment designed to help parents understand early how likely their case is to become a long, drawn-out legal battle. The earlier you can see the terrain you're walking into, the more strategically you can move through it. And we talk about the kids. One of the most powerful reframes Sarah offers is that protecting our children doesn't always mean shielding them from harm. Sometimes the greatest protection we can give them is helping them learn how to navigate difficult realities with clarity, resilience, and support. If you're deep in a high-conflict case and feel like everything you do somehow gets used against you, you're not imagining it. The family court system is not what most of us think it is—and fighting it the way we naturally want to can sometimes make things worse. This conversation offers a different playbook. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why what family court labels "high conflict" is very often an abuser-victim dynamic, not a mutual conflict situation (5:28) How you can shift the dynamics in court by changing yourself, not by trying to change the other person or the system (11:10) The High Conflict Court Risk Index, what it assesses, who it is for, and why taking it early means you can start the right conversations sooner (12:28) Why an interdisciplinary divorce team saves you time, money, and unnecessary damage (24:28) What to do when your high conflict court risk comes back moderate to high, and where to go for support (23:30) Why protecting your kids from all harm is not the goal and how to start teaching them to navigate tricky people and tricky situations instead (31:30) ✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. Learn more about Sarah McDugal:Sarah McDugal is a clarity coach and founder of FREEDOM Navigator and Wilderness to WILD. She works exclusively with protective parents in high-conflict divorce and custody battles. In addition to a master's degree, Sarah holds certifications and training in: Master Certified Professional Coach (MCPC), Certified High Conflict Legal Dispute Resolver, High Conflict Institute, Certified Assessor: Danger and Lethality Assessment, Johns Hopkins University School of Nursing, Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Treatment (DSTT) Training, Dr. Omar Minwalla, and APSATS Model for Multi-Dimensional Partner Trauma (MPTM) Training. After surviving nearly a decade of custody litigation herself, Sarah equips her clients with trauma-informed tools, court-ready case prep resources, and strategic battle plans to fight smarter for the long haul — without losing their sanity, their kids, or their voice. Known for her blend of ethical precision and empathetic strength, Sarah empowers protective parents to transform survival into strategy — guiding weary warriors to rise with endurance, resilience, and courage. Resources & Links: Get Your Curated Podcast PlaylistFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  High Conflict Court Risk Index Freedom Navigator WebsiteSarah on LinkedIn Sarah on Instagram Sarah on YouTube Episode 109: DSG Abuse Mini-Series: Escaping Toxic Relationships and Abuse in Faith-Based Communities with Sarah McDugal =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM  

High-conflict divorce isn't just a legal process—it can feel like daily psychological pressure. In this episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, hosted by Avik (with Sana filling in), we talk about what it really takes to stay grounded when conflict keeps coming and your emotional bandwidth is already stretched thin. This conversation is for parents navigating custody stress, courtroom anxiety, and the fear of “messing up” their kids emotionally. Guest Alex Dane shares lived, practical strategies for staying steady, protecting credibility, and separating parenting from legal warfare—so survival can become a path back to clarity and self-trust. About the Guest: Alex Dane is a father, strategist, and survivor of the family court system. He's the author of How to Win Your Divorce and The High Conflict Playbook (an Amazon #1 bestseller), sharing tools rooted in lived experience. Episode Chapter: 00:05:03 — Why high-conflict divorce feels like psychological warfare 00:07:25 — “Least brain power, biggest decisions”: what nobody prepares you for 00:10:47 — Accepting the system is unfair and building a strategy anyway 00:12:06 — “Best interest of the child” vs. what the system rewards 00:13:45 — Using anger, anxiety, and grief without letting them control you 00:19:58 — Separating legal battle from parenting time: the “two worlds” approach 00:26:16 — Does “winning” language escalate conflict? A grounded reframing Key Takeaways: Accept early when collaboration isn't possible—then shift into strategy, not denial Treat strong emotions as signals and fuel, but process them safely outside court settings Protect your credibility: calm, clear communication often matters more than perfect facts Create a “transition ritual” between legal work and parenting (pause, reset, support call) Journal the inner journey so anger doesn't become your long-term identity Keep kids out of adult processing—use external supports so children don't become emotional caretakers How to Connect With the Guest: Substack: https://howtowinyourdivorce.substack.com/  Book: High Conflict Playbook by Alex Dane on Amazon http://www.howtowinyourdivorce.com/ - Sign up for the waitlist for presales for How To Win Your Divorce and get a Free chapter and divorce checklist. If you're in emotional distress or feeling unsafe right now Emergency services (local): Call your local emergency number immediately. If you're in the U.S. or Canada: 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call/text/chat) If you're in the U.K. & ROI: Samaritans 116 123 If you're in Australia: Lifeline 13 11 14 If you're in India: AASRA +91 22 2754 6669 Find a helpline in your country (global directory) International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP): “Find a Helpline” directory Befrienders Worldwide: global crisis support directory     Want to be a guest on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life? DM on PM - Send me a message on PodMatch DM Me Here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/avik Disclaimer: This video is for educational and informational purposes only. The views expressed are the personal opinions of the guest and do not reflect the views of the host or Healthy Mind By Avik™️. We do not intend to harm, defame, or discredit any person, organization, brand, product, country, or profession mentioned. All third-party media used remain the property of their respective owners and are used under fair use for informational purposes. By watching, you acknowledge and accept this disclaimer. Healthy Mind By Avik™️ is a global platform redefining mental health as a necessity, not a luxury. Born during the pandemic, it's become a sanctuary for healing, growth, and mindful living. Hosted by Avik Chakraborty, storyteller, survivor, and wellness advocate. With over 6000+ episodes and 200K+ global listeners, we unite voices, break stigma, and build a world where every story matters.

Some breakups end; others turn into a campaign of control fought through motions, money, and your children. We invited Lisa Johnson, co-founder of Been There Got Out and a certified domestic violence advocate, to walk us through the reality of legal abuse and how to regain power when an ex weaponizes the system. She shares how abandonment triggers can fuel rage, smear campaigns, and endless filings—and why the smartest response is a steady, documented, and strategic one.If you're navigating a high-conflict divorce, you're not alone—and you don't have to white-knuckle it. Listen, share with a friend who needs it, and subscribe for more candid, expert-backed conversations. If this helped, leave a review so others can find it too.Send a textSupport the showThanks for listening!Check out this site for everthing to know about women's pleasure including video tutorials and great suggestions for bedroom time!!https://for-goodness-sake-omgyes.sjv.io/c/5059274/1463336/17315Take the happiness quiz from Oprah and Arthur Brooks here: https://arthurbrooks.com/buildNEW: Subscribe monthly: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1805181/support Email questions/comments/feeback to tamara@straightfromthesourcesmouth.co Website: https://straightfromthesourcesmouthpod.net/Instagram: @fromthesourcesmouth_franktalkTwitter: @tamarapodcastYouTube and IG: Tamara_Schoon_comic Want to be a guest on Straight from the Source's Mouth: Frank Talk about Sex and Dating? Send Tamara Schoon a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/17508659438808322af9d2077

In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse Q&A, Brandon talks with High Conflict Divorce Expert, Jody Willson Pasicznyk, about high conflict divorce, attorney management, the litigation process, and story telling.To reach Jody, ⁠click here.If you want to be a guest on our survivor story podcast, please ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or send us an email at narcissistapocalypse@pm.meClick here to read our in depth article on Weaponized Incompetence. Sign up to our Domestic Violence Newsletter  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Parenting plans, mediation, and negotiations are some of the most stressful parts of divorce — especially when abuse, coercive control, or high conflict are involved.In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast, Sybil is joined by Laura, a family law mediator and co-parenting coach, to unpack what mediation can look like when it is truly child-centered and trauma-informed — and when it isn't.Laura brings years of experience mediating high-conflict parenting cases involving domestic violence, substance use, and power imbalances. Together, they explore how mediation can either reinforce harm or become a place where autonomy, safety, and children's real needs are finally centered.This conversation is especially helpful for protective parents who feel trapped by cookie-cutter parenting plans, fear retaliation for speaking up, or are being pressured to “just agree” for the sake of the court.In This Episode, We DiscussWhy mediation often feels re-traumatizing for survivors — and how it can be done differentlyThe importance of autonomy after coercive controlWhy “getting to agreement” is not the same as creating a safe parenting planHow documenting only the bad can distort negotiationsLaura Lorber is an MC3 Certified Mediator, Certified Co-Parenting Specialist, and Program for Infant-Toddler Care (PITC) Fellow. She brings a deeply reflective and facilitative approach to complex family matters, including high-conflict co-parenting, interpersonal violence, and elder care. Laura's evolving theory of mediation centers on the idea that every conflict offers a chance to model and teach — giving families a lasting legacy of learning to navigate challenges with understanding, resilience, and care for future generations.Connect with Laura:Website: www.lauralorberjd.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauramlorber/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lmlorber/Join me on February 18th at 12pm MST for the Parenting to Combat Coercive Control Live Workshop for protective moms focused on protecting and repairing the parent–child relationship: https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/coercive-controlPlease leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpcIf you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/ Where to find more from Rising Beyond:Rising Beyond FacebookRising Beyond LinkedInRising Beyond Pinterest If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7Enjoy some of our freebies! Choosing Your Battles Freebie Canned Responses Freebie Mic Drop Moments Freebie ...

Send us a textGuest: Athena McCullough, LPC, LMFTWhen families are caught in high-conflict divorce—battling in courtrooms and struggling to communicate—Athena McCullough steps in. She's a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in the complex intersection of family therapy and the legal system.What We CoverIn this conversation, Athena shares her expertise on helping families navigate high-conflict divorce, the real impact of parental conflict on children, and practical strategies for maintaining healthy relationships during difficult times.Timestamps[0:00] Introduction - Who is Athena McCullough?[1:30] Attorneys vs. mediation: What's best for divorcing couples?[4:45] Do therapists go to court?[6:15] The big question: Should unhappy parents stay together for the kids?[10:00] How high conflict affects children[13:30] Triangulation and emotional parentification[17:45] When kids become their parent's emotional support[21:00] Communicating with teens during conflict[24:15] Active listening: Hearing what's underneath the anger[26:30] Managing your own reactivity as a parent[29:15] What is reunification therapy?[31:00] Athena's journey into high-conflict divorce work[32:00] Final advice: Slow down and listenKey TakeawaysSlow down and listenAsk more questions than you give adviceBehavior is communicationProblematic behavior means your child is trying to tell you somethingYou can only control yourselfFocus on your own reactions, not controlling othersKids say important things in difficult waysLook past the tone to hear the message"There's no traffic jam on the high road"You don't get to keep misbehaving just because someone else doesAbout Athena McCulloughAthena is a licensed therapist based in Littleton, Colorado, who owns a group practice specializing in high-conflict divorce and court-ordered family therapy. She works with families navigating complex court systems and provides reunification therapy for disconnected parents and children.Connect with Athena:McCulloughFamilyTherapy.com | Serving clients throughout ColoradoLearn more about Jason's practice: Colorado Relationship Recovery

If you're facing a high-conflict divorce or co-parenting situation and wondering how to do things smarter, not harder, this episode is for you.In this powerful conversation, Sam breaks down the top 5 things she would do differently if she were divorcing a high-conflict person in 2026—with today's realities in mind: narcissistic behavior, manipulation, custody conflict, legal overwhelm, emotional burnout, and the long game of protecting your peace and your kids.This isn't theory. These are real-world, hard-earned strategies for women divorcing a high-conflict or narcissistic ex who want to stop reacting, start planning, and avoid the most common (and costly) mistakes.If you're divorcing, recently divorced, or stuck co-parenting with a high-conflict ex, this episode will help you feel more grounded, empowered, and clear on your next steps.✨ Want ongoing support, tools, and real guidance from women who get it? Check out The Next Chapter membership—a private community for divorced moms navigating high-conflict divorce and co-parenting. Inside, you'll find weekly workshops, expert guidance, live support, and practical tools to help you heal, rebuild confidence, and move forward without losing yourself.

Hey Friends~  Today's conversation is unusual for this podcast, but an important one. Over half of marriages end in divorce, and about 30% of those become high-conflict - deeply impacting children. This week, I'm joined by Lisa Johnson, a high-conflict divorce coach, to unpack the often-misunderstood topic of coercive control. We talk about what it is, the red flags within relationships, how it shows up during divorce and custody battles. We also explore Jennifer's Law. We discuss how it recognizes the many non-physical forms of abuse. Lisa shares how children are victims, used as weapons in adult conflict, along with ways parents can begin rebuilding secure bonds after trauma. ⚠️ Listener Advisory: This episode covers sensitive material and is intended for a mature audience. Parents should use discretion with younger listeners.  I still hope you TUNE IN!  Because understanding coercive control could make a life-changing difference for you or someone you love. Always cheering you on!  Dinalynn CONTACT the Host, Dinalynn:  hello@thelanguageofplay.com   ABOUT THE GUEST:   Lisa Johnson is the co-founder of Been There Got Out, a high conflict divorce strategist and certified domestic violence advocate who has successfully represented herself through scores of court appearances. Her case, published in the Connecticut Law Journal, is being used as legal precedent. Her live testimony helped pass Jennifers' Law in Connecticut, the third state in America to expand its legal definition of domestic violence to include “coercive control.” She and her partner, Chris coach people in high-conflict relationships, divorce, custody battles, and co-parenting hell so they have the chance of the best outcome in family court and beyond. They also offer a weekly Legal Abuse Support Group for those dealing with narcissistic opponents in legal matters. Their book, "Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances'' was released in March 2023. Their first course, “How to Communicate with Your Ex Without Destroying Your Case or Losing Your Mind” is out now! CONTACT THE GUEST:    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/been_there_got_out/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeenThereGotOut Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BeenThereGotOut TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@been_there_got_out LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/been-there-got-out/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/BeenThereGotOut Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/Been_There_Got_Out/ Podcast: https://beentheregotout.buzzsprout.com/    YOUR NEXT STEPS: 5 Ways To Get Your Kids To Listen Better: https://dinalynnr.systeme.io/7ca5ce43-d436ea91 Sign up for the Newsletter:  https://dinalynnr.systeme.io/newsletter-optin 21 Days of Encouragement:  https://dinalynnr.systeme.io/1-21signup To discuss working together:  https://calendly.com/hello-play/strategy-session For Workshops, Speaking Events, or Partnerships:  https://calendly.com/hello-play/discovery-session ** For Speaking Engagements, Workshops, or Parent Coaching (virtual or live), contact me at hello@thelanguageofplay.com   IF THIS EPISODE WAS HELPFUL, HERE ARE RELATED TOPICS:  246 Dr. Marcus: Are you a soothing presence for your child? 226 Constance Lewis: Using Colors To Get Through Big Feelings 188 Susanna Peace Lovell: Is Your True Self Enough? Lessons Learned In Parenting A Child With Autism 185 Anastasia Arauz Unraveling the Magic of Play Therapy in Child Development   Love this podcast?  Leave a Review: https://lovethepodcast.com/play Follow & subscribe in 1-click!  https://followthepodcast.com/play   To SPONSOR The Language Of Play, schedule your call here:  https://calendly.com/hello-play/discovery-session To DONATE to The Language Of Play, Use this secure payment link: https://app.autobooks.co/pay/the-language-of-play   A BIG THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR!   Cindy Howard  Lightening Admin VA   cindy@lightningadminva.com

In this powerful episode of We Chat Divorce, we sit down with Karen McMahon, high-conflict divorce strategist, certified divorce coach, and founder of Journey Beyond Divorce. Karen shares her deeply personal story of surviving a prolonged, high-conflict divorce—and how that experience became the foundation of her life's work helping others navigate divorce with emotional clarity and confidence. Together, we explore what it really means to “keep your side of the street clean” during divorce, why reacting emotionally is one of the most expensive mistakes people make, and how staying calm, clear, and confident directly impacts both your legal outcomes and financial future. This episode is essential listening for anyone feeling overwhelmed, triggered, or stuck in defense mode during divorce—especially in high-conflict situations. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why high-conflict divorce often makes the calmer spouse look like the problem The true meaning of “keeping your side of the street clean” How emotional dysregulation leads to rushed, costly decisions Why mindset, emotional regulation, and boundaries are foundational—not optional How to pause before responding to texts, emails, or demands Why financial clarity and emotional clarity must work together How inner work protects your children and breaks generational cycles Why a strong settlement alone does not guarantee peace or freedom How to reclaim your confidence during—and after—divorce Resources Mentioned Journey Beyond Divorce Website: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast (425+ episodes) Rapid Relief Call with a Journey Beyond Divorce coach: https://www.rapidreliefcall.com At My Divorce Solution, we see this every day:People don't make poor financial decisions because they're irresponsible—they make them because they're overwhelmed, reactive, and emotionally flooded. That's why we believe divorce preparation must include both financial clarity and emotional grounding. When you understand your numbers and regulate your responses, you stop reacting—and start leading. If you're navigating divorce and feel like you're constantly on defense, you don't need to decide everything today. Ready for Your Next Step?

High-conflict divorces thrive on chaos. In this episode of We Chat Divorce, hosts Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan sit down with divorce strategist and coach Courtney Harkness to explain why treating divorce like a business deal—not an emotional battleground—can dramatically shift power, protect assets, and preserve peace. Courtney, creator of the Divorce Is a Business Deal framework, shares how successful professionals can stop reacting and start leading their divorce with strategy. Drawing from her own experience co-founding a private-equity-backed company and navigating a high-conflict divorce, Courtney breaks down the three-phase approach she uses with clients: Stabilize, Strategize, Execute. You'll learn why emotional stabilization must come first, especially when dealing with narcissistic or high-conflict spouses; how reacting fuels conflict and legal costs; and why “no sudden moves” is one of the most powerful rules in divorce. The conversation also explores why rushing to hire an attorney without financial clarity often escalates conflict—and how preparation saves time, money, and long-term regret. Karen and Catherine connect Courtney's framework directly to the My Divorce Solution methodology, emphasizing the importance of verified financial data, lifestyle analysis, and scenario planning before negotiations begin. Together, they explain how clarity replaces fear, how strategy changes leverage, and why winning in divorce isn't “beating” your spouse—it's getting out with your future intact. Key Topics Covered: High-conflict divorce strategy Divorce and narcissistic dynamics Stabilize, Strategize, Execute framework Financial preparation before legal action Why reacting is costly—and preparation is powerful How to protect assets, peace, and decision-making capacity If you're navigating a high-conflict or high-stakes divorce and feel stuck in reaction mode, this episode offers a grounded, strategic path forward. Next Steps: Start with clarity. Take the free Divorce Financial Assessment or learn more about the MDS Financial Portrait™ at MyDivorceSolution.com. Follow Courtney Harkness at DivorceStrategy.com and on Instagram @divorce.strategy. Protect your peace. Let knowledge be your power. divorce, high conflict divorce, narcissistic spouse, narcissist divorce, divorce strategy, divorce coach, divorce support, divorce advice, divorce tips, divorce planning, divorce preparation, divorce negotiation, divorce settlement, divorce mediation, divorce attorney, legal divorce advice, divorce financial planning, divorce finances, divorce money, financial clarity, CDFA, certified divorce financial analyst, marital assets, asset division, hidden assets, spousal support, alimony, child support, custody conflict, co-parenting with a narcissist, emotional abuse, financial abuse, trauma bond, stop reacting, no sudden moves, divorce is a business deal, business approach to divorce, leverage in divorce, protect your assets, protect your peace, women and divorce, men and divorce, high net worth divorce, complex divorce, divorce discovery, divorce documents, divorce checklist, we chat divorce, my divorce solution, karen chellew, catherine shanahan, courtney harkness, divorce strategy masterclass Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Susan Guthrie welcomes two extraordinary guests whose combined perspectives offer something rarely seen in the world of divorce. Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., returns to the show alongside author Matthew A. Tower, whose new book Love Wars: Clash of the Parents gives listeners an unprecedented inside look at what high-conflict divorce feels like through the eyes of a child. Together, their insights reveal the emotional reality children carry, the predictable patterns behind high-conflict behaviors, and the steps parents can take to protect their kids from the fallout. Love Wars follows Matthew's journey from ages six to eleven as he navigated two volatile households, emotional unpredictability, parentification, negative advocates, and the relentless pressure to choose sides. His story is raw, illuminating, and at times difficult to hear, yet it is also deeply important. Bill helps contextualize Matthew's lived experience through High Conflict Personality Theory and offers guidance parents and professionals can use immediately. This conversation is a powerful companion to Bill's book Splitting and the perfect next step for anyone committed to changing the emotional climate for their children. Why This Conversation Matters High-conflict divorce leaves a lasting imprint on children, but the full internal experience is almost never visible to parents, courts, or professionals. Matthew's story pulls back the curtain on what children absorb, what they fear, how they cope, and why the conflict shapes them long after the legal case is over. Bill explains how splitting, emotional volatility, and personality-driven dynamics create confusion, fear, and reactivity for children who do not yet have the capacity to regulate intense emotions. He also highlights why professionals often miss what is really happening, and how parents can change the trajectory by lowering conflict, creating predictability, and becoming the steady emotional anchor their children desperately need. Together, Bill and Matthew offer clarity, compassion, and a path forward for families caught in high-conflict cycles. In this episode, you will learn: What children internalize during high-conflict divorce and why they absorb the emotional intensity around them Why parentification is so damaging and how children become emotional caregivers when adults are dysregulated How high-conflict parents recruit negative advocates and why these dynamics intensify the conflict Why kids shut down, freeze, or dissociate when the emotional environment becomes overwhelming How calm, consistent adults like Matthew's stepmother Holly can become a lifeline What courts and professionals often overlook when evaluating children's preferences or resistance What parents can do right now to lower reactivity, reduce conflict, and create safety for their children About the Guests:  Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. - Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator, best-selling author, co-founder, and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP Theory) and has become an international expert on managing disputes involving high conflict personalities and personality disorders. He provides training to lawyers, judges, mediators, managers, human resource professionals, businesspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners' association managers, ombudspersons, law enforcement, therapists and others. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. Visit the High Conflict Institute to find out more about Bill, the Institute's wealth of resources for managing high conflict relationships and more of Bill's books!   https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Listen to Bill's other episode, "Get Ready to BIFF Your High Conflict Co-Parent" on Divorce & Beyond here:  https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-q3hpd-f87a79 Get your copy of Splitting: How to Protect Yourself When Divorcing a Narcissist or Borderline here: https://amzn.to/3C22aGH Matthew A. Tower - Matthew A. Tower is an author, art director, audiobook narrator, and entrepreneur. He first saw Star Wars in theaters at age three. Love Wars: Clash of the Parents, A True Divorce Story is his debut work of literature. Previously, he was founder and CEO of Versus Books, and published more than 50 gaming strategy guides for hits like The Legend of Zelda, selling over 5 million copies. Get your copy of Love Wars: Clash of the Parents here: https://amzn.to/4oCN15T  Learn more at: https://lovewars.com ===================== Make the Most of Your Listening Experience: If this episode resonates with you, be sure to: Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share this episode with friends or loved ones who need hope and healing. Leave a 5-star review to help us reach even more listeners. Follow Us Online: Divorce & Beyond:  https://divorceandbeyondpod.com, IG: @divorceandbeyondpod Meet Our Host Susan E. Guthrie®, Esq. is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation experts, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals and families navigate divorce and conflict with clarity and compassion. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker, trainer, and practice-building consultant. Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast, where she shared her insights on gray divorce and the changing landscape of relationships. Her expertise has also been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC's Chicago Today, among many others. As the creator and host of the award-winning Divorce & Beyond® Podcast, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 3.4 million downloads, Susan brings together top experts and powerful personal stories to help listeners move through divorce and beyond with confidence, insight, and hope. Learn more about Susan and her work at susaneguthrie.com. Divorce & Beyond is a Top 1% Overall and Top 100 Self-Help podcast designed to help you with all you need to know to navigate your divorce journey and most importantly, to thrive in your beautiful beyond!   ***************************************************************************** A Smarter, Simpler Way to Navigate Your Divorce Looking for a clearer and more affordable way to move through your divorce? Check out Hello Divorce. Their guided online platform combines easy-to-follow tools with real legal and coaching support to help you complete your divorce with less stress, less confusion, and far lower costs than a traditional courtroom battle. They have created a special page just for Divorce & Beyond listeners. Explore your options at hellodivorce.com/susan. ***************************************************************************** Opportunities for Expert Guests and Fellow Podcasters Partner with Divorce & Beyond Whether you're a podcaster looking to expand your reach or an expert ready to share your insights, Divorce & Beyond offers the perfect platform to amplify your voice.  Find out more here: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/guest-opportunities ***************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM

In this episode of the Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast, I'm speaking directly to the men who are walking through the intensity of high conflict divorce — the pressure, the triggers, the confusion, and the deep internal unraveling that often comes with it. Men in high conflict divorce are asked to hold an extraordinary amount: to respond instead of react, to stay grounded when provoked, and to lead even when everything around them feels uncertain. And while I coach men through these challenges every single day, I also know that some truths land more powerfully when they come from another man who embodies the discipline, steadiness, and intentional leadership required to rise during divorce. That's why I invited Michael Holt, founder of the international Savage & Saint Collective, to join me for this conversation. Michael has dedicated his life to helping men reclaim emotional sovereignty, cultivate presence, and embody a form of masculine leadership that is rooted in clarity rather than chaos. His work blends meditation, martial arts, psychology, holistic health, and serious inner discipline — and it aligns deeply with what I teach men navigating high conflict divorce: that the real power lies not in controlling others, but in mastering yourself. Michael and I explore the patterns that keep men stuck in reactivity during divorce and the internal shifts required to break those cycles. We talk about the cost of abandoning your center, how quickly men give away their power when triggered, and what it takes to stay grounded when you feel attacked, misunderstood, or overwhelmed. Michael offers a male perspective on strength that doesn't rely on force, suppression, or avoidance, but instead comes from presence, vitality, and self-awareness — qualities that become essential when the stakes are high and the conflict feels relentless. Together, we dig into the difference between reactive masculinity and embodied leadership, and why men who learn to regulate their nervous system and stay anchored in who they are gain far more influence — not just in their divorce, but in their lives, relationships, and fatherhood. We discuss how men can cultivate discipline, stability, and clarity even in the middle of legal battles, emotional turmoil, and the dismantling of a marriage. This is the kind of conversation that gives men direction, grounding, and a roadmap for showing up as the man they want to be, not the man the conflict tries to turn them into. Michael Holt is a powerful example of what it looks like to live the work rather than talk about it. His Savage & Saint Collective supports men around the world in strengthening their inner foundation so they can show up with integrity, courage, and calm — exactly what is needed in high conflict divorce. If you're a man navigating divorce and you've been searching for guidance from someone who truly understands the internal journey you're on, this episode will offer the clarity and steadiness you've been craving. This is about reclaiming yourself, rebuilding your center, and stepping into the kind of leadership that can change the trajectory of your life. Connect with Michael: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/savageandsaint/ Free Gift: E-Book re: Savage & Saint Philosophy: https://ebook.savageandsaint.com/savageandsaintphilosophy  Masculine Vitality Program: https://savageandsaint.com/mens-courses/ Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Follow JBD on Instagram: @journey_beyond_divorce Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com Free Divorce Support Network Gift: https://divorcesupportnetwork.com/jbdpod