We'll Never be Royals

Well mates, LK and Rossy planned on doing a whole season about what happens when Queen Elizabeth II dies and guess what she has up and kicked the bucket! In this weeks ep LK and Rossy chat all things Biz's funeral and start making plans for what's to come for this poddy in the coming months. Listen now!

What would it take for Biz to skip past Charles and hand the baton and Crown Jewels straight to Wills? Well, this week LK and Rossy are chatting about all the scenarios that could make this a reality. Also, LK is heading to Buck Pal and Rossy is doing a tezz job of hiding her jealousy. Listen now!

Have you been wondering what exactly happens when Queen Elizabeth II kicks the bucket? Well good news LK and Rossy are going to unpack 'Operation London Bridge' (that's the code word for Biz croaking it) in this weeks ep. Listen now!

Hey mates. This weeks ep is a R4M special on the teeny tiny film Prince Harry made at his work - ‘Better Up'. LK and Rossy share their very honest opinions on the content, production value and Harry's styling choices. Listen now. P.S. Soz for the delay - but we're mothers you know?!

Mates. We did it! We pushed the humans out of our vagines and now we are back to chatting all things royals! This week we are doing a quick life update and then recapping all the royal stuff we have missed over the last few months. Have a listen!

So a lot has been happening in Royals world this week including Prince Andrew settling out of court on his rape charges. Also Queen Elizabeth has the rona *PLEASE NOTE: we recorded this episode prior to her diagnosis so keep your eye peeled on our socials for updated. Let's get into all the goss and recap of the whole Prince Andrew saga! Listen now!

(*TRIGGER WARNING*). Hey mates. This week we go back through history and look at some of the women who experienced pregnacy loss within the Royal family and what that meant for them and their royal position. Look, it's pretty heavy, with some personal story shares from LK and Rossy, and a few LOL's thrown in but if you want to skip on past this one no one will be offended. Also we talk about Biz being exposed to #therona and if Charles did that on purpose!

G'day mates. This week we are rocking a 'Rates for Mates' episode where we review the movie 'Spencer' starring Kristen Stewart. Find out the good bits, the bad bits and how many stars we give it. Listen now!

After carful consideration we have complied a list of the cutest royal babies ever and on this weeks pod we reveal which royals made the list! We also chat about the Harry and Meghan Spotify deal and of course the latest with Prince Andrew and his demands for a jury at his upcoming US court case. Listen now!

This week LK and Rossy are answering all your Royal rumour questions. Including: did Kate wrongly tell Eugenie to come to an event in 'fancy dress' or did Harry accidentally piss himself one time when he had too many frothies at Adele's house? Find out which ones LK and Rossy think are true! Listen now.

We're back! As we kick off 2022 the year of the Queen's Platinum (that means 70!) Jubilee we look back at what was Biz's equivalent of a shit show! We review all the Prince Andrew and Harry and Meg's drama, Kate's gold dress success and all those new Royal babes!

OK so back when Kate get pregnant with George, her tezz morning sickness was sending her to the hossy far too often and the media were on to her. So Buckingham Palace made an early announcement and then shit got real. Find out how an Aussie radio station went from bad to worse when they made a prank call to Kate. Listen now!

Mates. You know more than anything LK and Rossy love a bit of royal scandal and what better way to get that convo started than with an illegitimate child?! This week, we are talking about all the most scandalous kids that may or may not be royal. Featuring Secret Son Simon, Prince Harry and couple you've probably never even heard of! Listen now!

Oh hey mate. This week we're lolling at how the royal family are actually lizard people with really weird traditions. Also we offer our best parenting advice yet. You're welcome!

G'day mate. We are giving the Royal Babes a spell this week and rolling the old ‘Rates for Mates' homie because Megs went on Ellen this week and gee whiz. Gee whiz. Listen to all our hot takes and our well thought out strategic plan to help Meghan never embarrass herself like this again. Listen now!

Hey kids! You know how Town & Country like to write a killer article and then repurpose it 80000 times with new pictures and we love it so much? Well this week we're following their lead with another sneaky overview of Who's Who in the Royal Zoo. We'll cover all the cousin marriages. All of them!

Hey babes. LK and Rossy have still got baby brain and all they can think about this week is the ever important leaving hossy outfits. Not theirs of course but those of the Royal family. Find out which of Kate's outfits they reckon is the best and all their hot takes on Diana and Fergie's 80's maternity fashion choices. Go and have a listen.

Whackadoo mates do LK and Rossy have some news! They are having twins, one each, due next year so because they are physically unable to think about anything else this season is going to be all about babies - Royal babies! Listen now for all the tea on the most notable Royal nannies.

Alright mates. It's here! Fergie's dirty novel has hit the shelves and LK and Rossy are giving it a review. Find out all the hot takes on the story and if Fergie should give up her day job - 'Storytime with Fergie and Friends' (a YouTube channel where she reads kids books to camera while probably drinking valium lattes), or not. Have a listen - also, it's the last ep of the season!!!

So chances are you've never heard of Catherine from Braganza... but you should because she is ace as. A Portuguese royal who married an English King and introduced the Brits to tea drinking. Which makes her one of the most iconic Royals we've ever chatted about! AND the borough of Queens in New York is named after her AND she is generally just a champ of a royal. So much so, that LK and Rossy want to be mates with her. Find out more juicy stuff in this week pod. Listen now!

OK so Elizabeth I is the Queen who was allegedly a Virgin - no husbands, no kids! But as you know LK and Rossy love a conspiracy theory so there is a lot of chat about a secret son and and a potential affair with a mate who may or may not have pushed his wife down the stairs in an attempt to wife Elizabeth. Have a listen to find out more!

So this War of the Roses has nothing to do with gardens, garden parties, or anything else the current Royal family enjoys with commoners. This is all about a family rift that goes on way too long and there are far too many people named Ed. Have a listen to find out all the background on the War of the Roses.

This episode about Mary Queen of Scots is so good LK bumps her up the list of dead or alive dinner party guests. Find out why Mary had beef with her cousin Elizabeth I and the controversial scandal that is said to be the inspo for the plot of Hamlet. It is a really really good royal scandal (and you know how we love those!). Listen now.

While LK and Rossy have big plans this week which include baking Camilla's Victoria sponge and taking an Uber X to Monte Cito. But the main thing they are chatting about is Edward V and his rotten uncle Richard. This is right before the Tudor's take over the joint and poor Ed gets the rough end of the stick when his old man dies and his Uncle wants to be King. Listen now!

So LK and Rossy just wanted to do a fun light hearted episode this week, but turns Prince Harry and Oprah made a very intense tv series about mental health and there will be no LOL's had in this episode of 'Rates for Mates'. At least there is some good banter about the upcoming series of The Crown. Get in your ears!

Henry VIII is well known for inventing his own church and beheading any wife unable to give birth to a male heir. But did you know he had an older brother who died in suspicious circumstances and he was the original cheerleader for divorced Cathy's? Listen now to find out more.

So if your only real knowledge of King George the III is from Hamilton the musical well you are in for a treat. This week LK and Rossy are heading back to the late 1700's to check out what is was like to be the King who lost America. Also they chat about the latest Prince Andrew drama and everything we know about the fact that he is (finally) getting sued. Listen now!

If like Rossy, you absolutely diddly squat about Anastasia, daughter of Tsar Nicholas II (who was a little bit shit), then you need to listen to LK explain all the things in an eloquent middle school teacher with some spunk kind of way. Find out why some woman in Poland pretended to be her and what the go is with all the movies/cartoons and Broadway shows, based on her life, are all about.

Mates, we are back from Summer Vacay ready to give you all the latest Royal tea! We have (somehow) made it to Season 4 (phwoar!) and plan having this season focus on 'Historical Royals', but you know how easy it is for LK and Rossy to get distracted. So this ep is all about 'The Firm' and 'The men in grey'. Find out what all that means!

We've been hanging out for this Martin Bashir episode because he has been naughty and it's all just come out thanks to some bloke named Dyson and his investigation into that Diana interview. Find out how Marty B convinced Di to give him all the tea in the season 3 finale! Listen now!

Finally LK and Rossy are doing a Rate for mates ep cos we know how much you love our opinions especially about Royals and podcasts. This week we rate Dax Shepard's Armchair Expert podcast chat (that's not an interview) with the Duke of Sussex. Listen now!

We're back on the royal adjacents' this week and if you assume any of the words in Roses's title are how you think you would pronounce them, you would be wrong! Rose has made headlines recently due to rumours of an affair with Prince William and you know this is the stuff LK and Rossy live for! Listen now

OK we are not really throwing Meghan a baby shower but word on the street is she's either had the baby or is about to. So that can only mean one thing for LK and Rossy - speculation! Find out who thinks the baby is going to be named Carly and more in this weeks ep. Go listen!

LK and Rossy are carrying on with these Royal conspiracy theories, this week by chatting about some bloke from Queensland who reckons he is Charles and Camilla's secret son. LK reckons it's utter rubbish, Rossy reckons it's 100% legit. Also lots of banter re: their first ever sponsored content opportunity! Have a listen to form your own opinion!

After a few hectic weeks of serious royal happenings LK and Rossy wanted to throw a Birthday Bash for Biz's 95th Birthday... but somehow they fall down a conspiracy theory rabbit hole and they're equal parts sorry and chuffed with themselves for producing this level of content. Happy Birthday Biz and go and listen!

As the world mourns the death of Phil the Greek, LK and Rossy have been busy finding out everything you need to know about Prince Philip's funeral, before the funeral. Find out some wild royal mourning traditions and LK discovers a tribe in Vanuatu - who think Prince Philip is an actual god! Listen now!

Back in your ears with more royal adjacent peeps, and we may have peaked with the future Queen's little sister - Pippa! What a gem. Find out about the time Pippa dated a gun owner and enjoy the moment when LK tries to compare being a hedge fund manager to baking bread. It's a real treat! You know what to do - go listen!

Mates. We don't want to talk this ep up too much ... BUT, this is the best ep yet. This week LK and Rossy are joined by Producer Rob to chat about how America reacted to the Harry and Meghan Oprah interview. They also have some hot takes from some of their American mates and gee-whiz they have some opinions. Go listen now! Like right now!

So if we have learnt nothing else form the Oprah #Megxit interview it's that the British Royal family are all about the rules. Always curtsey to Queen Biz and never ever walk in front of her as well as the fashion guidelines and the famous 'no tights' wedding fued between Kate and Meghan. There are so many of them and we want to know what they are! Listen now to find out some of them anyway!

What a ripper week it's been in royal news! The only royal commentator who is not happy about it is Martin Bashir who has been knocked off the podium for best royal tea spill ever. Oprah did not disappoint when she sat down with Harry and Megs and while LK is equal parts satisfied and disappointed, Rossy has a lot of Piers Morgan themed opinions. Have a listen!

This episode we chat all things Sophie - Countess of Wessex. Previously we have steered clear of Sophie and Edward, due to their dutiful boredom - BUT we actually find a tiny bit of scandal about Soph, so get it in your ears! (Also, don't say anything about this episode being 5 days late - Rossy's brain was not in a service area before going on leave).

G'day fans! We are a couple of eps into season 3 but have finally landed on the focus on this season and it's all those people who you kind of know are related to the British Royal family, but can't remember why. You might say they are 'royal adjacent'..? Anyway this ep is all about the true love of Harry's life Chelsy Davy. Have a listen!

In today's episode, we talk a lot about Meghan and Harry's baby announcement. We, like the rest of the world, are very excited and speculating about gender a due date! Also, we are doing a 'Rates for Mates' on The Royal Family Youtube channel. Have a listen!

So we are giving you yet another Prince Andrew update because we know you love it and let's face it - we it's the best royal scandal ever. Find out what Air Miles Andy might be facing in the coming months and the latest on Ghislaine Maxwell. Also, our mate Karen joins us again for her thoughts as a former Chicagoan prosecutor. It's pretty juicy - so have a listen.

Righto you lot - we are back! And we are kicking off season 3 with a ripper episode all about the 1981 royal nuptials. Charles and Diana's wedding was easily the best thing about the 80's, so LK and Rossy have a cuppa and a chat with Karen Kerbis - who went to London to witness the future King tie the knot with Lady Di ...even though she wasn't invited. Find out all the best bits about being in London for the wedding of the century! Listen now!

Break out the 'Tia Maria' and pour yourself of Christmas cheer because it's the Christmas Special! LK and Rossy are chatting all thing British Royals crimbo. Where they go, what they do and who gets pissed and passes out before the Chrissy pud. Well, Merry Christmas and go listen.

Today, we are giving you all the best bits from the last 2 seasons. Including royal news, 'Rates for Mates', the LOLs, and even some personal overshares. We'll be back next week with the Season 2 finale Christmas Special. Hope you enjoy our best bits! Have a listen.

SOILER ALERT! If you are yet to binge the entire 4th season of 'The Crown' and don't want us to give away the ending then keep on scrolling. But if you're keen to know all the best and worst bits of the latest TV production of the Windsor/Mountbatten royals in the 80's then have a listen! It's a ripper.

SPECIAL EPISODE WITH GUEST: Sam 'Clarky' Clark. This week we find out if Meg's 2024 presidential campaign is actually a reality with US political tragic Sam Clark. LK and Rossy ask heaps of questions about #MegsforPrez - including who can give her cash to campaign, would US Vice President elect Kamala Harris consider her a running mate and does Megs need to get her arse into gear. Listen now!

Righto shut up a minute, because LK and Rossy are getting hyped about The Crown season 4 dropping on Netflix Nov 15th - and so should you! Find out all the things you need and want to know about season 4 before you can binge the entire season. But mainly - get excited because... it's Diana's wedding! Listen now!

The internet is swirling with speculation that Meghan Markle is currently pregnant. From the court case reschedule, to all the loose fitting outfits and even Williams secret rona infection. Find out how Rossy has pieced together all this information to reach a almost certain up the duff conclusion. Listen now to get all the deets.